All language subtitles for 11Love American Style S01E09 Love and the Big Leap, Love and the Former Marriage, Love and the Good Deal

♪ ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ Love, love ♪

♪ Love, American Style ♪

♪ Truer than the
red, white and blue ♪

♪ Love, American Style ♪

♪ That's me and you ♪

♪ And on a star-spangled
night, my love ♪

♪ You can rest ♪

♪ You can rest your
head on my shoulder ♪

♪ Or by the dawn's
early light, my love ♪

♪ I will defend ♪

♪ I will defend
your right to try ♪

♪ Love, American Style ♪

♪ That's me and you. ♪

Tonight, you will see

three separate views
of love, American style:

An ex-husband, a new
husband, and a common problem;

newlyweds and a bad bargain;

and our first story about a
marriage made in heaven,

which we call:

Are you happy, Ralph?

Happy?

Of course I'm happy.

It's my wedding day.

Why shouldn't I be happy?

Well, it is your first jump.

Yeah, well, it's my first
marriage, too, but so what?

I mean, this is the
way you wanted it...

Getting married in a
free fall from 12,000 feet...

So that's the way it'll be.

Anything for my
little sweetheart.

Oh, I love you, Ralph.

Oh, I love you, too, Betty.

Oh, it'll be easy.

You'll see.

We just jump, and Reverend
Hale will marry us quick

and then we pull the rip cords

and float down at the reception.

Sure.

The-There's nothing to it.

That's what I
always wanted, too.

A simple ceremony.

I'm so glad you're
going to do it.

You don't know
what it means to me.

You have no idea
what it means to me.

Uh, Reverend Hale.

Uh, when exactly
do I pull my rip cord?

Uh, what's my cue?

Oh, just as soon as I say

you're m-m-m-m-m-man
and w-w-w-wife.

I beg your pardon?

M-m-m-m-m-man and w-w-wife.

Betty!

Reverend Hale,
you didn't stutter

when we talked to you before.

Oh, it's just that marriages
make me so n-n-n-n-n-nervous.

Maybe we ought to go up an
extra couple of thousand feet.

I mean, I want to make
sure you have enough time.

Oh, there's nothing to
w-w-w-w-worry about.

Oh, I'm not worried,
I'm not worried.

It's just that I'd hate
to fall all that distance

and then not even be married.

It'll go away.

It's only t-te-te-te-te...

Temporary.

R-Right, thank you.

10,000 feet and climbing.

10,000 feet, huh?

Well, soon be up there.

2,000 more feet
and... then we go.

Hey, look at down there.

Look at how small everything is.

Look, those cars look like ants.

Well, you're not afraid of
heights, are you, Ralph?

No, no, I'm not afraid
of heights at all, no.

Just leaving them
sometimes, you know.

You really love me,
don't you, Ralph?

Love you?

Are you kidding?

Now, what a question
at 10,000 feet.

What a question.

Would I be here
if I didn't love you?

I know it isn't easy for you,

but I did have my heart
set on having a wedding

that was different
than other people's.

Sure, and that's
why I said okay,

because I love you and I
want you to have what you want.

I think it's a glorious
way to enter matrimony.

The vault of the sky above you

and the patchwork
quilt of the land below,

and the two of
you joined together

as you soar through the
air like birds on the wing.

That's beautiful, Reverend.

Hey, he's not stuttering
anymore either.

Oh, I'm all right now.

It comes and g-g-g-g-g-goes.

Oh, great.

11,000 feet and climbing.

11,000 feet?

1,000 more.

Ten hundred.

Oh, this is like a dream.

Hey, those cars look
like little baby ants now.

Don't look so much, Ralph.

It's liable to make you nervous.

Yeah.

Hey, I just got a great idea.

Look, you said you wanted
your marriage to be different.

Right? Well, listen, uh...

why don't we get married
right here in the plane?

Now, not too many
people do that.

Have you ever heard of anybody
getting married in a plane?

Have you ever heard of
anybody getting married

in a plane, Reverend?

No, I haven't.

Have you?

Well, see?

But if we got
married in the plane,

then there wouldn't
be any need to jump.

I mean, the jump
wouldn't make any sense.

Well, we can
eliminate the jump part.

Look, we take the plane back

and then we walk
over to the reception.

I mean, it's not as
spectacular maybe,

but it's, it's the
thought that counts.

Ralph, you're babbling.

Bubbling? Sure, I'm bubbling.

I-I'm happy. No,

I said "babbling."

You're not chickening
out, are you, Ralph?

Chicken out? No. No, no, no,
I'm not, I'm not chickening out.

No, no. Because
if you have doubts,

I mean, this is a big
thing, getting married.

It's a big step.

Ha. You think I don't know that?

You're darn right,
it's a big step.

It's the biggest
step I'll ever take.

11,500.

But you're sure you want to?

Because it shakes me up
when I feel you're not sure.

It's common for young people
to have doubts before marriage,

my children.

Perfectly normal.

But you sound as if
you want to back out.

Do you? No.

I don't think so.

Oh, golly.

I'm not sure.

Betty!

I think I've got cold feet.

Uh, it's, uh, it's the altitude.

No, no.

I'm really scared.

Perfectly normal.

I wouldn't give it
a second thought.

But why?

You were always so sure.

We were in love.

We said so a thousand times.

I know, but a lot of the
time I was pretending.

I mean, I was always worried

about whether we
were right for each other.

Well, you couldn't have
any doubt about me.

I really love you.

I know, but there's
things about you, Ralph.

What? What?

Oh... the main
thing is I love you

and I'd do anything
to prove it to you.

I really would, I
would do anything.

I'll jump right through
the door. Sit down, Ralph.

You say the word and I'll
jump right through this door.

I'm really gonna do it. Ralph!

Ralph!

Ralph!

12,000 feet.

Ralph, sit down!

Oh, Ralph, what a
silly thing that was to do.

Well, it... shook me up

that you think there's
something wrong with me.

You do think that, don't you?

Now come on now, admit it.

If there's something
about me, tell me what it is.

Now you owe me that much.

Frankness is a virtue
next to cleanliness.

Come on, now, say it.

All right.

You're too cautious, Ralph.

Cautious? Cautious?

I was going right
through that door!

I probably wouldn't have
even pulled my parachute.

Now how can you
say I'm cautious?

Oh, it's not what you do,
it's the way you do things.

I mean, you never
really enjoy things, Ralph.

You probably won't
even enjoy our wedding.

Will you enjoy our wedding?

Well, uh...

Don't blame him

for procrastinating, my child.

After all, he is getting
married for the first time.

So am I.

And he's also
making his first jump.

Do you remember
how frightened you were

the first time you jumped?

I was scared, but I
went through with it.

Yeah, because they
threw you out of the plane.

You told me so yourself. Well...

Everyone is frightened
jumping into marriage, my child.

12,000 feet,
approaching target area.

Why does he keep saying that?

Ralph, do you truly love Betty?

Of course.

Betty, do you love Ralph?

Very much.

And you want to be married?

Well,

what must be done must be done.

Ralph, you're afraid.

Admit it.

You wouldn't be
frightened if you'd realized

what a wonderful
gift you're giving Betty.

If you jump

in spite of all your fears,

you'll be giving
her the knowledge

that you love her more than life

itself.

Such devotion

most men never have
a chance to prove.

Gee, I never thought
of it that way, Reverend.

You, my dear, must
realize what it means

for a man to face death for you,

even though it may
not seem so to you.

I forgot how frightened
I was on my first jump.

I really thought I
was going to die.

Well, I think I'm going to die,

but I'll do it for you,
babe, even if it kills me.

You good boy.

Oh, Ralph.

Target area, prepare to jump.

There's nothing
to fear, my child.

Soon, the three of us will
be suspended in space,

tranquil and serene,

silent except for
my voice, your voice,

your vows, the whistle

of the wind, and perhaps the
honking of an occasional goose.

Well, I'm ready.

How about you, honey?

Almost.

Ready.

Check chutes.

Check.

Ooh.

Look, there's the
club right below us.

See? Everyone's out
there waiting for us.

Jump one.

I love you, Ralph.

I love...

Oh, that's a long way down.

Jump two.

My son.

Geronimo!

Jump three.

Ooh, that is a long way down.

Where is he? Where is he?

Do you, Ralph, take Betty

for your lawful
w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w...

I don't see him!

I-I'll see you at
the rece-ce-ce...

Save me a piece
of the wedding cake!

Where is he? Where is he?

When can I pull the ripcord?

Not till he arrives, Ralph.

I better pull it now.

I'm headed for your mother.

Wait for me, Ralph.

But do you think we can
have a meaningful relationship?

Bet you can't tell who this is.

Can't guess in three
guesses, I'm going to kiss you.

Um, Napoleon, Abraham
Lincoln, and Charles de Gaulle.

I like our little
single bed, Paul.

I do, too, sweetheart,
but I keep falling out.

Just once, I'd
like to go to sleep

without hanging on to something.

You really hate our whole
apartment, don't you?

You despise everything about it.

Be honest.

Oh, I'm kind of fond
of our blue ashtray.

Cory, there is one thing
I love in the apartment.

What?

You.

You said I'd get used to
walking those six flights in a week.

It's now two months,
and they're getting worse.

Well, I told you not
to come up so fast.

I had to. There was
a rat chasing me.

Hey, what was that
smell on the fourth floor?

It was coming from
the Parones' apartment.

I'd say it was either incense,

or Mr. Parone set
fire to his brother.

I like our little bed.

It's sexy and cozy.

♪ ♪

Cory.

Cory?

I'm not going to be
lynched in my own bed!

Nor am I any
longer going to sleep

holding on to a
security heating pipe,

or sleep in a bed that was
designed for a doll house.

Oh, all right, so it
is uncomfortable,

but what are we going to do?

I don't know. Get bunk beds.

Paul, you know I
like to sleep touching.

I'll hang my hand
down over the side.

Maybe we can call the
owner of the building

and get him to knock out a
wall and enlarge the bedroom.

Really? Well, where
are you going to call him?

He doesn't get out on
parole until next summer.

Where's the opener?

Thank you.

Cory, there's only one answer.

The room is too
small for a double bed.

And we're too big... Oh!

For a single bed.

We're just going to have
to buy a custom-made bed

that fits the room.

I've priced them.

They're so expensive.

I don't care
anymore. I've had it.

If I can't get a night's
sleep, I can't make a living.

Nobody trusts a lawyer

with bloodshot
eyes, a raspy voice...

Your Honor...

All right, all right, Paul.

First thing in the morning,
I'll call Harry Dorfman.

Who's Harry Dorfman?

The telephone man.
I've talked about him.

He's been here a few
times to fix the phone.

He's very nice.

Cory, why are we calling a
telephone man to get a bed?

Harry knows
everybody in New York.

If we're going to get
a custom-made bed,

I'm sure he can get us
a good deal, wholesale.

♪ Wholesale. ♪

I was almost strangled in there.

Money is no object
when your life is at stake.

Don't open that
one. It's all shook up.

Let me get you an unshook one.

Here.

Don't worry, Paul.

All I'm going to
do is call Harry.

If he can't do anything,

I'll take care of
everything, I promise.

You can call Harry,

but if this turns out to be
another one of your crazy...

Hi, Harry.

I was just going out to lunch.

I'm glad you got here in time.

Every time I come up
here, I feel I want to yodel.

Oh, it's not that big a climb.

I know goats that
couldn't make it.

All right.

All right, Mrs. Bradder,
I stopped gasping.

Now I'm only panting.

I'm ready to work.

What's wrong with the phone?

Oh, nothing. Nothing?

I climbed that magic
beanstalk for nothing?

I'm sorry, Harry,

but you're the only
one that could help.

Paul and I desperately need
something for the apartment.

I know. An elevator.

No, here.

No, see, that's where
Paul and I sleep.

Oh, it's very nice.

It pulls out into a bed, huh?

No, that is the bed.

Oh. Well, how do you
sleep in it, one at a time?

No, together, and
it's just impossible.

Now what we need
is a custom-sized bed

to fit this room.

Now, I thought with
all the people you knew,

you might be able
to get us a deal.

A deal. Ah, now you're
talking my language.

That calls for Harry Dorfman's

little black book of contacts.

Everybody's in here.

The poets, the peasants,
the jugglers, the clowns.

I love Sinatra.

Bars... bookies.

Ah, beds... here we are.

You notice there's a
little red mark next to it.

Uh-huh. Red mark.

Yeah, that means blood relative.

My cousin J.K. Lewis
works in a bed factory.

J.K... ooh, what a big shot!

You know, for years,
he was Jack Lewis.

Then they give him a desk,
and boom, he's J.K. Big deal.

Harry, I knew you
could get us a deal.

Well, you're such a wonderful...

Go on, say it.

Con artist? Wheeler
dealer? Hustler?

I'm proud.

I know all the
angles, Mrs. Bradder,

because I had a great
teacher, the telephone company.

And I keep threatening to tell

all their secrets,
but they pacify me

by putting my picture
in The Telephone News.

You know, that little paper
that comes with your bill?

Oh, yeah, I've seen you, Harry.

You looked very
cute on that pole.

Thank you. I take good pictures.

How do we meet your cousin?

Very simple. Now,
look, this is what you do.

You go to the Superior

Bedding Company in
Englewood, New Jersey

and look up J.K.

Tell him that, uh,
Harry sent you.

Don't be so uptight, Paul.

Look at it as an adventure.

It may be fun.

It's never fun.

Every time you
try to get a bargain,

something messes up.

That must be Mr. Lewis.

When? Name one time.

Oh, try last week.

The used encyclopedia set?

That was a great buy.

24 volumes, all B.

I know everything there
is to know about Bolivia.

Oh, Paul.

Psst.

Psst!

What?

Harry sent us.

Did he tell you to whisper?

No.

Then don't.

Come on. Where we going?

To the back. Why?

If we stayed here,
we'd have to whisper.

How is Cousin Harry?

He's become such a big shot.

Never calls me anymore

since he got his picture
in The Telephone News.

Oh, he's fine.

You certainly have a
large number of beds here.

Well, it's not a
potato chip factory.

Did Harry tell you
what we wanted?

Said you wanted
a bed and a deal.

I got both.

We got this tiny bedroom,
and what we need is...

I can make it. What size?

Five hands and a pinky.

Here, I'll-I'll show you.

Oh, dear. I can't remember

if my fingers were
spread or closed.

I'm sure you had
them spread, Cory.

You want to have a pinky
conference? I'll come back later.

No, no, I'm sure it was spread.

Here, right here.

That's how wide
our bed should be.

41 inches.

20 years in the business,

I still love the way it
snaps back in the case.

Uh, Mr. Lewis,
assuming we decide

to take the bed, about
how much do you think

we'd save over a
regular retail outlet?

About 100 bucks.

That is quite a
substantial savings.

How do you do it so cheap?

See, I give you
a factory second.

Now it's as good
as a regular bed,

but it's got a
slight flaw in it.

How do you know
when a factory second

that size will be available?

You got cash? CORY: Yes.

Manuel?

¿Sí, Señor?

Cash deal. ¿Comprende?

Comprendo.

He's got a factory second.

Is that legal?

What, are you a lawyer?

Yes. Get out of my store.

Oh, no, no, no.

Please. My husband
was just curious.

We do want the bed.

All right, all right, all right.

Since you're
friends of Harry's...

and if it'll make Judd for
the defense feel any better...

the only one getting
cheated is my wife.

What?

She goes over my books
like Howard Hughes.

The only way I can
make any pocket money

is to sell some beds
under the table, all right?

Oh, fine. I don't think wives

should make their husbands
account for every penny.

You're very young.

Well, you see,
Paul, we got a bed.

No hassle, no inconvenience.

There's nothing wrong
with buying wholesale.

I guess

you're right.

Mr. Lewis, here's the
address to deliver it to.

Deliver what?

The bed we just bought.

Come here, kid.

Now we whisper.

See, on a deal like
this, there's no delivery.

What you got to do is
come here late tonight

when nobody's here.

I'll let you in, and
you take it from there.

Make sure you're
wearing old clothes.

And bring your own truck.

Truck?

Cory, I'm...

Whisper.

Are you ready, Mr. Valasco?

I'm just getting into
my work clothes.

Where is Paul?

Downstairs in our
apartment, pouting.

He thinks this whole thing is...

That's what you're going
to wear to move a bed?

Oh, I thought since we are going

to be in New Jersey,

maybe we stop off and
see your charming mother.

I don't think we'll have time.

Besides, Victor,
I think my mother

is still a little afraid of you.

I'm afraid I rushed
things a little bit,

asking her to go away
with me for that weekend.

Yes, she told me
about the nudist camp.

They put out such a
wonderful magazine.

Well, that Lewis guy said
he'd only wait until 10:00 for us.

Oh, it's all my fault, Paul.

To be perfectly
honest, I was primping.

And at my age, to look good,

takes plenty primping.

Oh, that's all right, Victor.

We appreciate
your helping us at all.

Don't we, Paul?

Hmm?

Oh, oh, yes, we do.

I don't know what we'd have done

without you, Mr. Valasco.

I'm glad to be
even a little help

on such important
mission as this.

You know, the
gypsies have a saying:

"A young couple
without a good bed

is like a prune without a pit."

What does that mean?

Who knows? The
gypsies say the first thing

that pops into their heads.

Watch out.

Don't slip on
Mr. Valasco's staircase.

You sure your friend
the rug dealer will be here

with his truck, Victor?

Oh, absolutely.

Armand's very dependable.

You know, he used
to drive for kings.

Really? What kings?

Well, most of
them were in exile.

But that's even harder,

because you have to
go down back alleys,

across town, through tunnels,

all those places...

across towns,
over plowed fields,

sometimes you are parking

under a railroad car.

All these things, it's not easy.

Armand, my little Persian peach!

That's the driver?

He's cute. Paul,

Cory, this is my very
dear friend, Armand.

He does not speak
one word English.

Oh, you look wonderful.

I'm only shaking his hand.

This is Cory, this is Paul.

Uh, Mr. Valasco,
can I talk to you?

I'm worried about your friend.

He's kind of old.

Do you think he can drive?

Of course he can drive.

Armand?

He's alive, he's
alert, he's active.

He's asleep.

I'll drive.

Are you all right, Armand?

Armand's fine.

Well, isn't this fun?

Victor, how can you see
through that windshield?

Oh, I can see perfectly...

Right between Popeye
and the tiger's head.

Hi, Mr. Lewis.

I don't see anybody,
I don't hear anybody.

If there are prowlers here,

I don't know about them.

Why is he talking
to the ceiling?

We're not officially
supposed to be here.

That's how wholesale works.

Oh.

Where's the bed?

There happens to be

a certain bed in this corner.

If prowlers should take it

while I'm having
a cup of coffee,

I wouldn't notice.

But if anything else is missing,

I'll notice.

This is the one, huh?

One, two...

It's a little further.

Come on, Paul.

That's it!

Paul, you've done it,

you made it.

I would have helped more,

but it's not good for my back.

Where's Armand?

He died on the third floor.

He's just resting.

We are going to big Greek dance

over in Stanton Island.

At this hour?

So we'll be a little early.

All right, my little lovebirds.

Your nest is completed.

Bye, Victor, thanks for
helping us. Not at all.

Come on, Paul, all
you have to do is carry

that little mattress
up two more steps.

To you it's a little mattress.

To my back it's Mount Sajama.

Where's Mount Sajama?

In Bolivia.

Look, Paul, look, I've got a
brand-new nightgown to wear.

Look, look, look, look.

Hold it a little closer,
my vision is blurry.

Okay...

You don't have
to sleep holding on

to anything anymore.

Just to you.

I shouldn't have eaten
that Persian candy.

Cory, the bed's haunted.

No, no, I'm sure it's nothing.

It'll stop in a minute.

You just lie perfectly still.

Hello, Superior Bedding?

Superior Bedding, hah. Hmm.

I'd like to speak to J.K. Lewis.

Yeah, I'll wait.

Now don't get too
angry at Mr. Lewis, Paul.

Remember, he did
try to give us a deal.

He didn't give us a deal.

He gave us a talking bed.

I'm a funny kind of a guy, Cory.

When I go to
sleep, I don't like to

have an argument
with my mattress.

I still think it just needs
a little breaking in.

It doesn't just make noises.

It's also very uncomfortable.

I feel like I spent the
night in a Cuban prison.

Hello, Mr. Lewis.

Paul Bradder. Who?

Paul Bradder.

I bought a bed from
you, remember?

Custom made?

Five hands and a pinky?

Look, I got no
time for silly talk.

We're Harry's friends.

I picked the bed up last night.

We're not open at night.
The only people here last night

were some prowlers,
who I never saw.

Look, you can quit the act.

The bed is a joke,
and I'm bringing it back.

I never sold a joke bed.

I don't know a Paul Bradder,
and I never got this phone call.

Hello? Hello?

Funny, nobody on this phone.

What did he say, Paul?

He hung up on me.

I admit it's not a great bed.

No arguments, Cory.

I'm going to take this bed back.

And if he pulls that
looking at the ceiling bit...

Paul, what happened?

Oh, my back! I
swear, it grabbed me.

Paul, is there anything I
can do? I'm okay, Cory.

Can you straighten up?
Is there anything I can do

to help you? Yeah,
call the telephone man.

Maybe he can straighten
it. Call a doctor, Paul.

I don't need a doctor.
I'll call the hospital.

I don't want to
go to the hospital.

Easy, easy, Paul.

Just follow my feet. - Cory!

Oh, Paul!

Oh, I've been waiting for you.

We got here as soon as we could.

It's Mother, Paul.

I know, I recognized her voice.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, Paul. Now it's
going to be all right.

I have a good friend
here, Dr. Bosto,

he's a specialist. Oh, no!

A specialist? Paul, please.

You've got to see him. Paul,
he's the best one in the country!

I can't take it. But he
can really help you.

Hold it!

Oh, there's no more argument.

Now you just come
right with me, Paul.

Where are we going?
Just turn around,

just turn around and
sit down on this bench.

I can't sit. Oh, you can lean

against the wall.

We're checking you in.

Is it very uncomfortable, Paul?

Not if you're tying your shoe.

Dr. Kreutzal,

you're wanted at the front desk.

Cory!

Hi, sweetheart.

Hello.

I thought you'd like
your own pajamas.

Do you want the
horses or the boats?

Horses.

How do you feel?

Oh, a lot better.

They gave me a muscle relaxant.

It's just a
combination of nerves

and lifting wholesale beds.

Paul, I'm sorry.

This whole thing is my fault.

I didn't sleep a bit last night.

Of course not, in that bed.

It wasn't that.

It was sleeping alone.

Oh, Paul, I never,
ever, ever want

to sleep again without you.

Even if we have to fight,

let's always make
up in time for bed.

Please, Paul,

you do feel the same, don't you?

I'm so doped up from
the shot last night, I...

I buzzed the nurse at 3:00
A.M. and asked for a Cory.

Hey, we're gonna get our
money back for our bed.

We are?

Yeah, Harry talked
Mr. Lewis into it

by promising him a
special phone number.

Hmm?

555-3947.

It spells "J.K. Lewis."

I guess the whole
thing wasn't that bad.

At least I got one
good night's sleep.

They have great beds here.

It's a shame to waste them

on people full
of sleeping pills.

Cory, what are you doing?

Paul, it's perfect.

What are you talking about?

Paul, this bed
would fit perfectly

in our room.

What are you doing?

Trying to see how we fit in it.

Cory, they'll cancel
my Blue Cross.

It's perfect.

It doesn't make a sound.

It's nice and firm.

Paul, we could
buy a hospital bed.

Feeling better, Mr. Bradder?

Hey, isn't the bed great?

And we even have room
to store stuff underneath.

We should have gone
to a hospital first thing

to buy a bed.

Honey, it's not an idea

that leaps immediately
into your mind.

Oh.

Lamar loves to
catch the first wave.

Oh, Buzz, why can't
you just write our name

in the sidewalk,
like everybody else?

Hello?

Yeah?

Hello, Paul.

What time is it?

3:00?

No, no, no, no, you
didn't wake me up.

I always get up five hours
before I've got to work.

Gives me a chance to brush
my teeth and get some coffee.

What's up?

Come over there now?

Are you out of your head?

What?

Julie?

What happened to her?

What?

Well, then what do you
want me over there for?

Huh?

Oh?

Oh.

All right, all right.

I'll be over.

Yeah, bye.

You weren't lying, were you?

Did something happen?
Tell me the truth.

I did. Nothing's happened. Oh.

Oh, hello, Debbie. Hello, John.

Well, then where is Julie?

Where is she?
Well, she isn't here.

Well, then how do you know

something didn't happen?

Well, we checked
with the police.

There's no report
of anything. Oh.

Then why did you
get me over here for?

Well, we were worried.

And you couldn't
worry without me?

Did you get me over here
just to tell me you're worried?

You could have told
me that on the phone.

I could have worried in my
nice, warm, comfortable bed.

Now, now, John, take it easy.

Take it easy. Yes,

I mean, after all,
she is your daughter.

I know she's my daughter.

But she's 18 years old.

You two get me over here
just to tell me she's out late?

No, we think she's
out with this boy.

So she's out with a boy?

Out with a boy.

Well, that seems
perfectly normal to me.

But it's not only that.

There was a big
fight before she left,

and we're afraid that she
may do something foolish.

Oh, nonsense.

There's a lot of vague fears.

Now look.

This stuff has got to stop.

It... thank you.

Do you realize

that you've had me over here

four times in the
last two weeks?

Hmm? You two are married now.

Paul is your husband.

I'm no longer your husband.

I have the divorce
papers to prove it.

So don't keep
calling me every time

some simple, little
problem arises.

Like, "Where are the
keys to the tool chest?

"Where's the insurance
papers on the furniture?

Why does the car make that
funny noise on the freeway?"

You've just got to solve these
problems for yourselves now.

Oh, I'm sorry, old man, uh...

you know, this is a
new thing for me, too.

I mean, I'm trying to run
your family the best I can.

And, uh, by the way,
you mentioned the car?

It still does make
that funny noise

when you get up to about 80.

Don't talk to me about doing 80.

I'm driving a
four-cylinder compact.

I don't know what
it is to hit 80. John.

It's kind of strange to
be in a nice home, too.

Have you seen my
one-room apartment?

Now, John, really. What
do you want from me?

You've got my home, my
wife, my daughter, my car.

Least you can do is
let me have my sleep.

John, will you
stop being childish?

Okay, I'll stop being
childish and go home to bed.

Julie, you're home! Yeah.

Daddy, what are you doing here?

Waiting for you...
That is, I'm helping

your mother and
father wait for you.

Well, that's ridiculous.

Come here, Roger.

Roger Crane, this
is my-my father,

my mother and my
mother's husband.

Well, a real suburban mess, huh?

Well, now she's home safe and
sound I can... I can leave, huh?

Good night, all.

Nice to meet you, Roger.

Roger and I are
going to get married.

Who? Married?

Married? Yes, we're
on our way to Las Vegas.

John, you're not leaving.

Oh, no, of course not.

I want to extend
congratulations.

How about a drink? Did
you hear what she said?

They want to get married.

Sure I heard, that's why
I suggested the drink.

Julie, you are not
getting married.

It is out of the
question. Is it?

You try and stop me.

I'm going upstairs now
and pack some things.

Julie! John, do something!
What do you want me to do?

Well, talk to her,
man. Do something!

You can't just let her
run off and get married.

Why not? That's
what Debbie and I did.

Oh, but that was different.
What was different about it?

John, will you just go on
upstairs and talk to her?

If you won't, I
will. Be my guest.

Tell her to bring
her swimming suit,

it may be warm up in Vegas.

John, I don't understand you.

I don't understand you. Why?

Look, I don't think
we're being very polite.

Here's Mr. Crane, standing
around, no one talking to him.

Sit down, Roger. Oh.

After all, he's practically
your son-in-law.

My... Thanks, man.

How about a drink?

Uh, no, thanks, I don't drink.

Well, I think I'll have one.

I don't know if you got
it from the introductions,

but I'm John
Filmore, Julie's father.

Yeah, I got it.

Her mother and I
are recently divorced.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I
got the whole scene,

the whole scene.

You, um, you a student, Roger?

Yeah, right, humanities.

Oh, humanities,
well, that's nice.

A lot better than
inhumanities, huh, Debbie?

And I suppose you
love my daughter?

Well, I like her
a lot, I really do.

She's really a
groovy girl. You do?

You really like
her? That's terrific.

Will you stop this?

Your daughter is upstairs

packing to run
away with this hippie.

And what are you going to do?

Live in one of those
wild communes?

Uh, no, ma'am, we weren't
planning on doing that.

You see, they're
not going to live

in one of those wild communes.

How would you know?

You're just making polite
conversation with him.

What do you expect me to do?

Knock him down
and sit on his chest?

I don't think I could do
it; he's bigger than I am.

You don't even care
about your daughter.

I care a lot about my
daughter, but my daughter is 18.

And this gentleman is how old?

21.21.

Well, I don't think I can

manage people's
lives when they're adult.

I mean, I could tell him
what marriage is like,

but why depress him now?

This should be a happy moment.

You are so childish.

Irresponsible, just the
way you always were.

You have some foolish idea that
everything is going to work out,

and it never, ever does.

And you'll never do anything

as a mature human
being to make it work.

I never had to. I
always had you, dear.

Well, what's that
supposed to mean?

I always went along with every
stupid thing you ever suggested.

The unimportant things.

The big things, you
always made the decisions.

You never let on
you did, but you did.

Quietly but firmly,
the iron hand.

You always said
that, but it's not true.

It is true. It is not true!

Absolutely true. No!

Hold it, hold it, excuse me.

Excuse me.

I can see why you
people broke up.

You're really in completely
different bags, aren't you?

I mean, it's a classic
symbiotic relationship.

A what? A symbiotic
relationship.

It's a neurotic fusion.

I mean, you feed on
each other's neuroses.

I mean, you're really not
very good for each other,

but you stuck together
for sick reasons.

Sick reasons?

Yeah, uh...

Dependency, stuff like that.

I mean, I don't know
exactly how it went.

I only had three
years of psychology,

but I can see it was no good.

I mean, you did the right thing
to break up. Well, thank you.

Oh, wow. Oh!

It must have been a
really bad scene, huh?

She won't listen to me.

I talked myself blue in the
face and she told me to get lost.

She's made up her
mind and that's it.

Oh, no. I pleaded with
her, I threatened her.

No go.

Stubborn? Oh, boy.

I wouldn't take it so hard.

Worse things could
have happened.

See? He doesn't mind.

He's starting to drink already,

celebrating the wedding.

Oh, come on, one drink.

You mean you want her
to get married? Like this?

In the middle of the
night to this... boy?

Roger's not such a bad guy.

You didn't get a
chance to talk to him.

You were out of the
room. I kind of like him.

Yeah, I dig you, too, man.

Thank you.

You know whose fault this
whole thing is? It's yours.

Sure, that's the way
you brought her up.

She's just like you.
Impulsive, thoughtless...

The minute she thinks
of something, she does it,

regardless of the consequences.

Exactly like you.

Oh, what do you know about me?

Oh, I know, don't worry.

Debbie's told me all about you.

I know you very well.

Debbie!

Well, we have to
talk about something.

Yeah.

Well, I know you
pretty well, too, Paul.

You're the kind of
guy who won't go out

of his neighborhood
without traveler's checks.

You've got dollar signs for eyes

and they could give
you a heart transplant

with a piggy bank.
Go get him, Tiger.

And I'll tell you
something else, too.

Debbie used to
think I was a lot of fun.

That's why she married me.

She liked my thoughtlessness,
my impulsiveness.

But I grew up.

Yeah, to this?

I married you to get
away from my family.

Mostly your old man,

who was just like this guy.

Hold it, hold it, hold
it, hold it, hold it!

Wait a minute, please!

Now this thing has
become very clear to me.

I mean, listening
to you three guys,

a lot of things are
straightening out for me.

I can see the whole thing.

What do you see?

Well, you know what
I was saying before

about the symbiotic
relationship?

What? Yeah.

What symbiotic relationship?

This is me, not you.
You stay out of it.

Well, it all ties in.

I mean, yeah, first she
goes into a symbiotic

then she reverts to
an old-time Oedipal.

Old-time Oedipal? That's you.

You're talking about Julie?

No, ma'am, you.

Oh.

I'm an old-time Oedipal?

Yeah, I see the whole thing.

She's marrying me
to rebel against you.

Who? Me?

No, you.

But what she
really wants is him.

Me? Yes, you.

And I just figured
something else out.

I never wanted to get
married in the first place.

It was all her idea.

It was? Yeah.

And I don't want
to end up like him.

Who, me?

No, him.

You, you're probably living
in a room somewhere, right?

A one-room apartment. Right.

I drive a four-cylinder
compact. Right!

Right! I mean, I don't
want to wind up like that.

You know, he's a smart kid.

I mean, in today's society, a
divorce is too, uh, disruptive.

I mean, I've got better
things to do with my life.

Well, I'm all ready.

Shall we go, Roger?

Um, uh... Well, good-bye.

I don't know when
you'll see me again,

but when you do, I'll
be a married woman.

Let's go, Roger. Julie...

Uh, honey, uh, uh... listen.

Uh... I don't think we're
going to go to Vegas.

What? Well, I want
to talk to you about it,

but I think I got a
whole new slant on this

marriage business,
you see, I... Did you...?

What did you do?

What did you tell him?

We didn't tell him
a thing, honest.

You ruined everything for me.

Oh, honey, don't get upset.

Now let's take a ride and talk.

I want to... I'll tell
you all about it.

Uh, you're not
going to need this.

Come on, honey. Now listen...

We should be back in
about an hour, all right?

Well, that solves
that little problem.

Oh, no, it isn't solved at all.

It's a temporary truce;
there'll be something else.

With Julie, there is
always something else.

Debbie's right.

We'll probably be
calling you again

one of these mornings.

Oh, no, you won't.

No, I, uh, I didn't plan
to tell you like this.

I wanted it to be
more of a surprise.

But as of next Sunday,

you will no longer enjoy my
services as a troubleshooter.

What do you mean? Well, why not?

I'm moving.

You're moving? Where?

Detroit.

Detroit? You mean out of town?

I believe Detroit
is out of town,

several hundred
miles out of town.

Why are you doing this, John?

Well, it's a promotion.

I'm being transferred.

A step up. Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. DEBBIE:
You're being transferred now?

But you've had dozens of
chances to be transferred

and you've always turned
them down; why accept this time?

I don't know. Oh, I know!

You're trying to
get away from us.

Running away
from responsibility.

That's just like you, John.

That's your answer, escape.

Oh, now, dear, I don't think

that is quite reasonable.

I mean, after all, John
has done his very best.

Oh, you're on his side now?

No, but I think
he's done his share.

After all, I am the husband now.

Look, I don't want to talk about
this anymore; I'm going to bed.

Good night, Paul,
and good-bye, John.

Good-bye and I'll write.

And the support
checks will come.

Perhaps a day
late, but they'll come.

Well, I suppose that,
uh, this may be good-bye.

Probably won't see
you again for a while,

but best of luck.

Thanks, good luck to you.

Thank you.

Well, I, uh, I guess
I better get upstairs.

Sure, go ahead.

Bye.

Bye.

May I come in, please?

What are you doing here?

John, I have to talk to you.

She threw me out.

We had a big
fight after you left.

John, do you mind if I spend
the rest of the night here?

I don't know where else to go.

Here?

What was the fight about?

Well, she said you're much
more of a man than I am.

Oh! That doesn't mean a thing.

She's said that to
me a hundred times.

And she was talking about you.

Don't you know her yet?

To her, any man who
is not her husband

is more of a man
than her husband.

Now, unfortunately, you
are now her husband.

So you are less
of a man than I am.

Oh. Well, what can I do?

Get right back home.

Tell her to cut
out the nonsense,

then in the morning,
bring her coffee in bed

and she'll purr like a pussycat.

You really think that'll work?

In 20 years, I should
have learned something.

Well, gee, thanks
a lot, old boy. I...

I really appreciate it.

All right. Wait!

Listen, John,

you're really determined
to go to Detroit?

Yes, I am.

You really think you'll like it?

I mean, you won't know anyone.

All your friends are here.

Oh, it'll be tough for a while,

but I make friends easily.

I hear the winters
are horrible there.

I've got a heavy coat.

Listen, John, uh...

you wouldn't think about really

changing your job
completely, would you?

I mean, I might have an
opening in my company...

Thanks a lot, but I am going

to Detroit and that is
final. You really are?

Yes, I am. Detroit.

438 miles.

But actually, it's
not that far, is it?

I mean, an hour by air.

I mean, in case of
a real emergency,

I could hop a plane
and be here in just...

Out!

You know, I never let anybody

just pick me up on
the street before.

But you certainly have
a different approach.

Love is all over the world.