Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,932 --> 00:00:04,314
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:06,454
[SNORING]
3
00:00:06,592 --> 00:00:08,560
Don't wake up daddy.
4
00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:12,805
Don't wake up daddy.
Don't wake up daddy--
5
00:00:12,943 --> 00:00:15,015
Eh?
Oh, did we wake you?
6
00:00:15,153 --> 00:00:16,947
Was Michele Pfeiffer
just touching me?
7
00:00:17,086 --> 00:00:18,087
Uh-huh.
8
00:00:18,225 --> 00:00:19,812
Was Nipsey Russell
in a Barcalounger
9
00:00:19,950 --> 00:00:21,745
singing to my grandfather?
Yes, he was.
10
00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:24,058
Hoo! Thought
I was dreaming.
11
00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,059
What time is it?
12
00:00:25,197 --> 00:00:26,302
It's tomorrow.
13
00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,649
Are you kidding?
Did I sleep on the couch?
14
00:00:28,787 --> 00:00:29,995
Uh-huh.
Oh, sweetie,
15
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:32,135
I'm sorry.
I must have got all caught up
16
00:00:32,273 --> 00:00:33,309
in the editing here.
17
00:00:33,447 --> 00:00:34,862
That's okay.
I slept like a log.
18
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,658
Oh, boy.
You know what? Me, too.
19
00:00:37,796 --> 00:00:40,764
This couch, I gotta say,
surprisingly embracing.
20
00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:43,319
Well, you should try
the bed without you, heh.
21
00:00:43,457 --> 00:00:45,562
I'll have
to do that. Hi.
22
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:47,357
Seriously, it was
like a palace.
23
00:00:47,495 --> 00:00:49,980
You could roll all around,
sleep diagonally,
24
00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:52,638
no big lumpy guy
there next to you-- Not you.
25
00:00:52,776 --> 00:00:54,123
All right. Well, listen.
26
00:00:54,261 --> 00:00:56,401
Here's what's gonna happen
I'm gonna make us all
27
00:00:56,539 --> 00:00:58,334
an elaborate
and wonderful breakfast.
28
00:00:58,472 --> 00:01:01,164
Some eggs, bacon,
and a lovely stack of toast.
29
00:01:01,302 --> 00:01:03,339
Yippee!
All right, calm down.
30
00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:04,857
I'm saying I slept.
I'm peppy.
31
00:01:04,995 --> 00:01:06,307
All right,
and I'm peppy too--
32
00:01:06,445 --> 00:01:08,309
♪ Happy and peppy
And bursting with love ♪
33
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:10,173
What is that?
It's from The Odd Couple.
34
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:11,243
Tony Randall sang it.
35
00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:12,451
There's no reason to--
36
00:01:12,589 --> 00:01:14,315
Because I am.
What?
37
00:01:14,453 --> 00:01:16,731
♪ Happy and peppy
And bursting with love ♪
38
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:18,250
♪ Dancing and singing ♪
39
00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:21,909
[♪♪♪]
40
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:24,774
Hey, boss. here's those tennis
balls you were looking for.
41
00:01:24,912 --> 00:01:27,225
Hey, Marvin,
what happened to your nose?
42
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,950
It always
looks like that.
43
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,883
It always has
that much gauze on?
44
00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:33,093
Really, Marvin,
what do you do on the weekend?
45
00:01:33,231 --> 00:01:35,025
Last week you come in
with the rib thing.
46
00:01:35,164 --> 00:01:36,751
Week before that,
you're limping.
47
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,408
I banged my head
against my knee.
48
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:39,513
You what?
49
00:01:39,651 --> 00:01:41,066
I went out dancing,
50
00:01:41,204 --> 00:01:43,517
and I banged my head
against a disco ball.
51
00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:44,966
From a disco ball?
52
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,797
I looked into a toaster
way too far.
53
00:01:47,935 --> 00:01:49,143
What do you do
on weekends?
54
00:01:49,281 --> 00:01:50,834
I...
55
00:01:50,972 --> 00:01:53,734
I've been wrestling
semi-pro.
56
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:55,115
Heh. You what?
What?
57
00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:56,599
Yeah. Look.
58
00:01:56,737 --> 00:01:58,014
Wrestling semi-pro?
59
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,498
Let me see that.
Right there.
60
00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:01,604
"Saturday night,
Staten Island Armory,
61
00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:04,262
grudge match, Leon Farkas
versus Marvin Bluestone."
62
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,056
There you go.
Leon Farkas?
63
00:02:06,195 --> 00:02:08,404
Your nose was damaged
by a man named Leon Farkas?
64
00:02:08,542 --> 00:02:10,233
Lucky blow, lucky blow.
65
00:02:10,371 --> 00:02:11,959
Heh. This is hard
for me to picture.
66
00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:14,099
I never thought of you
as a wrestler type guy.
67
00:02:14,237 --> 00:02:15,825
I'm 6'2", 290.
68
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:18,517
I'm not saying you're not tough,
I just never thought--
69
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:19,829
Come on, go ahead.
Slug me.
70
00:02:19,967 --> 00:02:22,038
I don't wanna slug you.
I just never thought--
71
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,729
Go ahead.
Both of you, slug me.
72
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,214
Ah, now you're
talking crazy.
73
00:02:25,352 --> 00:02:28,458
Come on, let's go, fellas.
I'm waitin'!
74
00:02:28,596 --> 00:02:30,426
All right.
you asked for it.
75
00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:32,980
Harder!
76
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:34,947
Harder, come on!
77
00:02:35,085 --> 00:02:37,605
Faster!
Harder, harder, harder!
78
00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:39,918
[BOTH GRUNTING]
79
00:02:40,056 --> 00:02:43,059
♪ Summer breeze
Makes me feel fine ♪
80
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,957
♪ Runnin' through
The jasmine ♪
81
00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:46,994
Man!
♪ In my mind ♪
82
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,685
Wow!
You're just solid.
83
00:02:48,823 --> 00:02:51,688
All over, up and down,
solid as a rock.
84
00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:53,690
Except this little area
behind my ankle.
85
00:02:53,828 --> 00:02:55,071
That is quite weak.
86
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,762
You kidding?
Your Achilles' heel
87
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,385
is actually
your Achilles' heel?
88
00:02:58,523 --> 00:03:00,041
Huh?
89
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:03,079
Achilles.
Achilles from Greek mythology.
90
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,046
The--the warrior.
91
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,394
He was a big warrior
totally impervious to pain
92
00:03:07,532 --> 00:03:10,086
except for that exact spot.
Achilles. ever--
93
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,433
It hurts in your ankle?
Oh, yeah.
94
00:03:12,571 --> 00:03:15,091
Marvin is a wrestler.
It's-- It's unbelievable.
95
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,576
And my mom, man,
she is so proud.
96
00:03:17,714 --> 00:03:19,164
Well, what mom wouldn't be
97
00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,028
with the leotards
and the hair pulling
98
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,271
and the health benefits?
99
00:03:22,409 --> 00:03:24,376
Marvin, you know,
you should not overlook
100
00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:26,999
money-making possibilities
in the wrestling field.
101
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,380
What're you
gonna do to him--
102
00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:30,451
But you gotta do something
about the name.
103
00:03:30,589 --> 00:03:32,522
Marvin Bluestone
does not sound like a guy
104
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:33,661
who crushes skulls.
105
00:03:33,799 --> 00:03:35,594
Sounds like a guy
who runs for president
106
00:03:35,732 --> 00:03:36,802
of a synagogue.
107
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,114
Well, what
do you suggest?
108
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:41,359
I would say
maybe go with a persona.
109
00:03:41,497 --> 00:03:43,775
You know, Chief Jay Strongbow
had the headdress.
110
00:03:43,913 --> 00:03:45,708
You know, Hulk Hogan
is a freakin' Hulk.
111
00:03:45,846 --> 00:03:48,297
Mil Máscaras has
like a thousand masks.
112
00:03:48,435 --> 00:03:51,334
All right.
How about, uh...
113
00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:54,648
Marvelous
Marvin Bluestone?
114
00:03:54,786 --> 00:03:56,719
Again, it's
the Marvin Bluestone,
115
00:03:56,857 --> 00:03:58,307
I think,
that's tripping you up.
116
00:03:58,445 --> 00:03:59,825
Oh.
But you know what?
117
00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:01,862
How about
Gorilla Boy?
118
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,174
Gorilla Boy.
Yeah, yeah.
119
00:04:04,313 --> 00:04:06,591
Half-man,
half-killer monkey.
120
00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:08,420
Killer monkey is it?
That's right.
121
00:04:08,558 --> 00:04:10,595
Get you a nice big suit,
a mask.
122
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:12,113
You know,
you jump in the ring,
123
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,805
jump around,
bang on your chest.
124
00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:16,773
Every time you pin a guy,
you show him your big red ass.
125
00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,017
Hey, is this polyester?
Do you have any idea?
126
00:04:19,155 --> 00:04:21,571
Marvin, you think you could
make a gorilla noise?
127
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,504
I--I don't know.
128
00:04:23,642 --> 00:04:25,403
Well, give it a whirl.
129
00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:26,783
[GRUNTS]
130
00:04:26,921 --> 00:04:27,922
There you go.
131
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,338
[GRUNTING]
That's right.
132
00:04:29,476 --> 00:04:31,098
Little more.
133
00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:33,307
Good. Good.
Terrific.
134
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:35,205
[AGGRESSIVE GRUNTING,
SCREECHING]
135
00:04:35,344 --> 00:04:36,448
All right,
stop, stop!
136
00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:38,657
Marvin, you really have
a natural instinct.
137
00:04:38,795 --> 00:04:40,245
Really?
Absolutely.
138
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:42,316
You could scare
the bejesus out of people.
139
00:04:42,454 --> 00:04:43,731
I bet I will.
You will!
140
00:04:43,869 --> 00:04:45,664
And you know what?
If you need a front man
141
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,632
like a Don King
to your Mike Tyson
142
00:04:47,770 --> 00:04:49,047
just give me a call.
143
00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:51,498
Yeah, and if you need
an ambulance, give me a buzz.
144
00:04:53,879 --> 00:04:56,572
[♪♪♪]
145
00:04:57,745 --> 00:04:58,884
You coming to bed?
146
00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:01,335
Mmm. You know
the secret of editing?
147
00:05:01,473 --> 00:05:02,647
No.
148
00:05:02,785 --> 00:05:04,614
All right, then I'm gonna
be here a long time.
149
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:05,684
I'm sorry.
150
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:06,927
That's all right.
151
00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:08,963
Hope I don't pass out
on the couch again.
152
00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,689
Me, too.
153
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:13,105
Unless it would mean
you'd finally be done.
154
00:05:13,243 --> 00:05:15,729
And then I would endure it
for one more night.
155
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,696
Really?
Yeah.
156
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:20,389
Okay. You know what?
Maybe we should plan on that.
157
00:05:20,527 --> 00:05:21,942
Okay.
Yeah.
158
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,323
Well, good night.
159
00:05:23,461 --> 00:05:24,496
Good night.
160
00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:27,050
Love you.
Love you, too.
161
00:05:27,188 --> 00:05:28,500
[CLEARS THROAT]
162
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:34,403
[♪♪♪]
163
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:35,852
But in truth,
164
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,545
tonight we reward ourselves
for work done previously.
165
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,788
["M.A.S.H." THEME PLAYING]
166
00:05:42,756 --> 00:05:45,034
Oh, a M.A.S.H.marathon.
167
00:05:45,172 --> 00:05:47,277
[WHIMPERS]
168
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,453
[CHUCKLES]
169
00:06:07,090 --> 00:06:09,679
ANNOUNCER:
And now, introducing,
170
00:06:09,817 --> 00:06:11,336
from parts unknown,
171
00:06:11,474 --> 00:06:13,959
Gorilla Boy!
172
00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:16,617
[GRUNTING]
173
00:06:18,585 --> 00:06:20,380
And his handler,
174
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:23,831
the man who discovered him
while on safari
175
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,903
and the only human being
he will not harm,
176
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,319
Dr. Ira Livingston.
177
00:06:29,458 --> 00:06:31,770
Hey!
Here we go. Come on!
178
00:06:31,908 --> 00:06:33,910
Bananas! Bananas!
Bananas for you!
179
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,740
Here we go.
Come on, come on, come on!
180
00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:37,742
Here we go. Bananas.
Get those bananas--
181
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,364
Hey, watch it!
Come on. Here we go.
182
00:06:39,502 --> 00:06:41,124
That's it! That's it!
183
00:06:41,262 --> 00:06:43,610
That big monkey
is my son.
184
00:06:43,748 --> 00:06:45,094
Hey, all right,
Here we go.
185
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:47,510
Now, this is it.
Remember, this guy is nothing.
186
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:50,202
MARVIN:
I feel really primal
tonight, boss,
187
00:06:50,340 --> 00:06:52,653
like a rabid dog.
188
00:06:52,791 --> 00:06:53,965
[BELL RINGS]
All right,
189
00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:55,276
Here we go. Go on.
190
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,555
You go get him,
Gorilla Boy. Yah!
191
00:06:57,693 --> 00:07:00,385
[HUMMING]
192
00:07:02,249 --> 00:07:04,320
[GRUNTS RHYTHMICALLY]
193
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,563
What's with
this guy?
194
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:08,048
It's a persona,
you idiot.
195
00:07:08,186 --> 00:07:09,187
A what?
196
00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:10,947
[BELL RINGS]
[GROWLS]
197
00:07:18,023 --> 00:07:19,197
[BELL RINGS]
198
00:07:19,335 --> 00:07:21,130
A persona.
199
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:23,960
[GRUNTS]
200
00:07:24,098 --> 00:07:26,307
I love you, Gorilla Boy!
201
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,999
I love you, ma!
202
00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:29,414
Hey, hey,
shut up.
203
00:07:29,552 --> 00:07:31,899
You can't talk. You're an ape.
You'll blow it.
204
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,660
Oh, my god.
What was I thinking?
205
00:07:33,798 --> 00:07:35,938
[APELIKE LAUGHTER]
206
00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:38,458
[♪♪♪]
207
00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:41,633
I'm glad
your work is done.
208
00:07:41,771 --> 00:07:43,083
Oh. Me, too.
209
00:07:43,221 --> 00:07:44,429
So great
to have you back.
210
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,777
It's nice to be back,
nice to see you...
211
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:49,330
and the crib,
212
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,574
not to mention the little girl
in the crib.
213
00:07:53,369 --> 00:07:55,371
Good night.
Good night, you.
214
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:12,215
You know, it's near the end
of the last season.
215
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,701
I beg your pardon?
216
00:08:14,839 --> 00:08:16,530
On M.A.S.H.
the rerun cycle.
217
00:08:16,668 --> 00:08:18,877
They're in the middle of
the last--last season.
218
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:21,535
You can't believe how good
the last few episodes were.
219
00:08:21,673 --> 00:08:23,572
Yeah, they were good.
Oh, boy.
220
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,332
Harry Morgan, really,
221
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:27,472
he took it
to a whole new level.
222
00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:29,060
Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:30,924 --> 00:08:33,167
And that Klinger,
he just kills me.
224
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,584
He's really, really funny.
Really funny.
225
00:08:35,722 --> 00:08:37,344
Mm-hmm.
226
00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:41,348
Oh! God, I never
called Lisa back.
227
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:42,970
You wanna call her
right now?
228
00:08:43,108 --> 00:08:44,351
W-We could be on
for a while.
229
00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:45,835
That's okay.
You know what?
230
00:08:45,973 --> 00:08:47,699
I'll go watch the show
Really?
231
00:08:47,837 --> 00:08:49,080
Yeah, sure.
232
00:08:49,218 --> 00:08:51,427
And if I happen to fall asleep
on the couch again--
233
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:52,428
Then you do.
Yeah.
234
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:53,878
I'll see you tomorrow.
Okay.
235
00:08:54,016 --> 00:08:55,673
All right.
236
00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:59,400
[♪♪♪]
237
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,575
Guess who I saw today.
238
00:09:01,713 --> 00:09:03,853
Hint, someone we hate.
239
00:09:03,991 --> 00:09:08,444
Angela Spino, all blotchy
and out of shape.
240
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,412
Okay, three husbands
and three kids.
241
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,276
Yeah, I was like,
"Hi, Angela."
242
00:09:13,414 --> 00:09:14,968
She was like, "Hi."
243
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,180
["M.A.S.H." THEME PLAYING]
244
00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:22,872
[BURPING]
M.A.S.H.
245
00:09:28,775 --> 00:09:30,811
Hey, no--
Stay in the living room!
246
00:09:30,949 --> 00:09:34,504
Murray, this is the one where
Hawkeye kisses Hotlips, oh...!
247
00:09:37,473 --> 00:09:39,786
[BURPING]
Larry Gelbart.
248
00:09:39,924 --> 00:09:42,305
[WHIMPERS]
249
00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:46,344
[♪♪♪]
250
00:09:46,482 --> 00:09:48,311
JAMIE:
Is it freakish
what we're doing?
251
00:09:48,449 --> 00:09:50,935
No. It's really not.
We're two consenting adults,
252
00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:53,247
and we're gladly agreeing
to sleep separately
253
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:55,318
because that's
what we wanna do right now.
254
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:58,080
There's nothing wrong
with enjoying the alone time.
255
00:09:58,218 --> 00:10:00,703
I just enjoy it so much.
I can be myself when I'm alone.
256
00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:02,325
I can be myself
when I'm with you,
257
00:10:02,463 --> 00:10:04,327
but I'm a better person
when I'm with you.
258
00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,157
When I'm by myself,
I can be the person
259
00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:08,262
I don't really like
and I really like that.
260
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,644
[BUZZER]
Listen, you don't gotta tell me.
261
00:10:10,782 --> 00:10:14,234
Last night, I ate a microwave
burrito off my own stomach.
262
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,375
Hey, guys.
263
00:10:17,513 --> 00:10:18,859
W-what is this?
264
00:10:18,997 --> 00:10:21,655
Allow me to introduce myself,
Dr. Ira Livingston,
265
00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:23,726
the man who discovered
Gorilla Boy.
266
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:24,900
Wow.
267
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:27,074
Tell you, this act
is working out big.
268
00:10:27,212 --> 00:10:29,767
Already, I got Marvin booked
against better wrestlers
269
00:10:29,905 --> 00:10:32,183
in better halls, I'm cleaning up
on the side bets.
270
00:10:32,321 --> 00:10:33,771
You taking advantage
of Marvin?
271
00:10:33,909 --> 00:10:36,394
James, Marvin's made as much
in the last three days
272
00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:38,258
as I've paid him
in the last six months.
273
00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,743
So up till now you've been
taking advantage of him?
274
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:41,951
Yeah.
Oh, that's--
275
00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:43,677
You know what?
I'd love for you guys
276
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:45,886
to show up tonight.
It's his first appearance
277
00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:46,887
as the main event.
278
00:10:47,025 --> 00:10:48,095
Oh.
Who's he fighting?
279
00:10:48,233 --> 00:10:49,476
You're not
gonna believe it.
280
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:50,960
Uh-oh.
Check this out.
281
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,375
"Macho Man"
Randy Savage.
282
00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:55,206
Sounds dangerous. Even for
Gorilla Boy, that sounds bad.
283
00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:56,207
Can you come?
284
00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:57,622
Sure.
Fantastic.
285
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,520
I'll see you tonight.
We'll be there.
286
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,626
Hey, hey,
what's with the sheets?
287
00:11:01,764 --> 00:11:03,110
You guys
got a houseguest?
288
00:11:03,248 --> 00:11:04,594
Oh. Uh...no.
289
00:11:04,733 --> 00:11:05,595
No?
290
00:11:05,734 --> 00:11:06,942
Uh, can I say it?
291
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:07,977
Sure.
292
00:11:08,115 --> 00:11:09,082
We're just, uh--
293
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,842
I-I'm sleeping
on the couch for now.
294
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:12,119
Oh, guys...
295
00:11:12,257 --> 00:11:13,155
I'm so sorry.
296
00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:14,743
No, Ira. No, no.
297
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,779
We're taking a little break,
that's all.
298
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:17,815
My god.
299
00:11:17,953 --> 00:11:19,609
We have an arrangement,
he's got--
300
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:20,818
I-- I understand.
301
00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:22,785
[JAMIE AND PAUL TALKING
INDISTINCTLY]
302
00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:24,269
I think I'm gonna cry.
303
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:25,788
Oh, w-w-wait.
Dr. Livingston.
304
00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:27,652
Listen, I gotta
get more bananas.
305
00:11:29,274 --> 00:11:31,621
[♪♪♪]
306
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,763
[CROWD CHEERING]
307
00:11:34,901 --> 00:11:37,110
Hi.
What did we miss?
308
00:11:37,248 --> 00:11:39,422
Well, Bruno
"Six-Fingers" Malone
309
00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,598
put Jebediah,
the Amish Hellcat Boudine,
310
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,117
into a sleeper hold.
311
00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:46,188
Apparently,
cutting off his blood supply
312
00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:47,568
with his sixth finger.
313
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,639
Yeah, we don't know much,
but we don't think
314
00:11:49,778 --> 00:11:51,400
the Amish Hellcat
will recover.
315
00:11:53,851 --> 00:11:55,162
I see what you mean.
316
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,819
[GRUNTING]
317
00:11:56,957 --> 00:11:59,926
Yeah, at least his family
isn't watching it on TV.
318
00:12:00,064 --> 00:12:02,583
'Cause the Amish, there's
no electric-- They can't--
319
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,930
Forgive me,
Paul, Jamie.
320
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:06,311
Do you know Marvin's mother,
Cassie Bluestone?
321
00:12:06,449 --> 00:12:07,416
PAUL:
Oh, my goodness!
322
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:10,177
Rip his heart out,
show it to him,
323
00:12:10,315 --> 00:12:12,628
and make it into a soup!
324
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,633
[CROWD WHISTLES, CHEERS]
325
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,462
[CROWD GROANS]
326
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,500
Listen, I just want to say
I feel really bad
327
00:12:22,638 --> 00:12:24,433
about what you guys
are going through.
328
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:26,400
You mean Ira? No, no--
No, Debbie--
329
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,507
No, no, no, please, you don't
have to pretend with me.
330
00:12:29,645 --> 00:12:31,198
We're not--
Just do me one favor--
331
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:33,097
Look, Debbie--
--and read this book.
332
00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:34,892
Learning to Love Your Spouse.
333
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,790
It almost saved
my first marriage.
334
00:12:36,928 --> 00:12:38,412
Did you happen
to bring a copy
335
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:39,724
of Mind Your
Own Business?
336
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:42,071
Better to take it out on me
than on each other.
337
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,176
I'm--
338
00:12:43,314 --> 00:12:44,694
[BELL RINGS]
339
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,974
ANNOUNCER:
Your winner,
Bruno "Six-Fingers" Malone.
340
00:12:48,112 --> 00:12:52,081
Get off your sorry butt,
Amish Hellcat!
341
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:55,636
[BELL RINGS]
342
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,397
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
343
00:12:57,535 --> 00:12:59,123
it's time for
the main event.
344
00:12:59,261 --> 00:13:00,780
Making his entrance
to the ring
345
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:02,885
from Sarasota, Florida,
346
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:07,027
the five-time heavyweight
champion of the world,
347
00:13:07,165 --> 00:13:10,410
"Macho Man"
Randy Savage.
348
00:13:10,548 --> 00:13:12,101
Oh, yeah!
349
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,622
Poor Marvin.
Ugh.
350
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,936
That macho man
is a machomacho man.
351
00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,007
I wanna be
a macho man.
352
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:24,424
Listen, kids, I was
very sorry to hear
353
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:26,184
what's going on
between you two.
354
00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:27,599
And I want you to know
355
00:13:27,737 --> 00:13:30,948
we'll do everything we can
to help you patch it up.
356
00:13:31,086 --> 00:13:32,950
Oh, lordy.
Ma, it's not a big deal.
357
00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:35,297
Oh, I know, I know,
It's very classy.
358
00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:37,471
It's like you're
European royalty.
359
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:39,335
You each have
your own room.
360
00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:41,406
We just have one
piece of advice.
361
00:13:41,544 --> 00:13:44,444
Visit her.
Visit her in her room.
362
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:45,445
Go to her.
363
00:13:45,583 --> 00:13:49,069
Okay, thank you,
Ma, Dad.
364
00:13:49,207 --> 00:13:51,313
And his opponent
now coming to the ring
365
00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:52,452
from darkest Canada,
366
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:54,730
half man, half monkey,
367
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,628
he's been called
the missing link,
368
00:13:56,766 --> 00:13:58,734
the eighth wonder
of the world,
369
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,149
and King Wrong.
370
00:14:00,287 --> 00:14:03,981
Here is Gorilla Boy!
371
00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:07,191
Hah! Follow me, Gorilla Boy,
come on!
372
00:14:07,329 --> 00:14:09,469
And with him
is his manager,
373
00:14:09,607 --> 00:14:11,643
the only human being
he will obey,
374
00:14:11,781 --> 00:14:13,991
Dr. Ira Livingston.
375
00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:15,371
Hey! Hey! Hey!
376
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:17,442
[SCREAMS]
377
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,582
Now that's a persona.
378
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,205
Why don't you go in there
and put on
379
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:23,138
the show of your life.
Are you ready?
380
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:24,760
Well, my tail's
kind of ridin' up,
381
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:26,210
but other than that,
I'm okay.
382
00:14:26,348 --> 00:14:27,383
Okay, good.
383
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:28,937
You know, I think
I can take him.
384
00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:32,078
What are you talking about,
you're scheduled to lose.
385
00:14:32,216 --> 00:14:35,253
Lose? I can't lose,
my mom's here.
386
00:14:35,391 --> 00:14:36,772
Marvin, you have gotto lose.
387
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,395
I put serious money on the fact
that you're gonna lose.
388
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:41,259
I told the league
you were gonna lose.
389
00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:42,743
I'm sorry, boss,
I can't lose.
390
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:44,642
What about the aping?
Don't stop aping.
391
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,851
[GRUNTING]
I can't lose.
392
00:14:46,989 --> 00:14:48,404
I'm not gonna
throw this fight.
393
00:14:48,542 --> 00:14:49,889
Have you
lost your mind?
394
00:14:50,027 --> 00:14:51,407
You will never
wrestle again!
395
00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:52,926
Never wrestle again?
396
00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:56,861
Oh, oh, oh...Okay,
I'll let him win.
397
00:14:56,999 --> 00:14:58,621
Yeah,
that a Gorilla Boy.
398
00:15:00,071 --> 00:15:02,280
Macho Man is a wuss!
399
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,489
A big wussy!
400
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:08,355
You're quite a big fan, huh,
Mrs. Bluestone?
401
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:09,909
Oh, yes, yes.
402
00:15:10,047 --> 00:15:12,049
You know, you two are
such a handsome couple.
403
00:15:12,187 --> 00:15:13,291
Now that's sweet.
404
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:15,638
It's a shame you're
having such trouble.
405
00:15:15,776 --> 00:15:20,229
Let's get ready
to rumble!
406
00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,336
Go get 'em,
Gorilla Boy!
407
00:15:23,474 --> 00:15:25,269
[BELL RINGS]
408
00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:27,202
[GRUNTS]
409
00:15:27,340 --> 00:15:29,583
MARVIN:
Now, just take it easy now.
Take it easy.
410
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,758
Take-- Oh!
411
00:15:31,896 --> 00:15:33,001
I'm okay.
412
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,727
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'm okay.
413
00:15:35,865 --> 00:15:38,075
Not okay!
414
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:43,666
Oh, no, my neck.
Come on, my neck!
415
00:15:43,804 --> 00:15:46,014
[BOTH GRUNTING]
416
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:49,362
Make it end.
Make it end. Make it end.
417
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,122
My kidney.
418
00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:53,262
My kidney!
419
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,506
My kidney again.
420
00:15:55,644 --> 00:15:57,473
Oh, here we go.
421
00:15:57,611 --> 00:15:59,786
Can't you just
let me lay down?
422
00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:02,340
[BOTH GRUNT, PANTING]
423
00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:04,964
Boss, are you sure
this is such a good idea?
424
00:16:05,102 --> 00:16:07,897
Yeah, yeah, you're doin' great,
Gorilla Boy. Here.
425
00:16:08,036 --> 00:16:09,416
Banana.
426
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,522
Oh, no!
427
00:16:15,595 --> 00:16:18,149
Ow...ow...ow...
428
00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,565
"Macho Man" Randy Savage!
429
00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:22,809
You're doing a fine job,
by the way.
430
00:16:22,947 --> 00:16:24,673
Whoa, yeah!
431
00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:26,468
Ooh...no!
432
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,541
Oh, not up, not up.
433
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,301
Don't wanna be up here.
434
00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:34,062
[GROANS]
435
00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:37,789
Why didn't I go
to law school?
436
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:40,413
Oh, this can't be good.
What is it?
437
00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:43,105
ANNOUNCER:
Here comes the Macho Man
Flying Elbow Drop!
438
00:16:43,243 --> 00:16:44,555
That would be the Macho Man
439
00:16:44,693 --> 00:16:46,005
Flying Elbow Drop.
Thank you.
440
00:16:46,143 --> 00:16:49,284
[♪♪♪]
441
00:16:51,079 --> 00:16:52,597
Uh-oh.
442
00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:57,154
Boss, help me!
443
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:11,237
Macho Man
444
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:14,619
is a wussy!
445
00:17:19,693 --> 00:17:25,285
I'm not going to lose
in front of my mom.
446
00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:32,085
[CROWD CHEERS]
447
00:17:32,223 --> 00:17:34,639
Hyah, hyah!
448
00:17:34,777 --> 00:17:36,469
And again...
Hah!
449
00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:38,471
Look at me,
I'm pounding.
450
00:17:38,609 --> 00:17:40,438
Right in the Macho Man!
451
00:17:40,576 --> 00:17:42,682
Not so much fun now,
is it?
452
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:43,786
[GRUNTING]
453
00:17:43,924 --> 00:17:46,789
Clear. Clear.
454
00:17:46,927 --> 00:17:50,310
Clear. Get out!
Hey, buddy. How about it?
455
00:17:50,448 --> 00:17:53,451
Gorilla Boy!
456
00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:54,728
Get 'em, Gorilla Boy!
457
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:58,560
Now I'm gonna finish you off
458
00:17:58,698 --> 00:18:02,115
with my famous
leg twists. Ah!
459
00:18:02,253 --> 00:18:03,979
Hey, hey, Marvin,
cut it out!
460
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:05,601
Leave me alone, boss.
461
00:18:05,739 --> 00:18:08,363
Man, this monkey's
dynamite!
462
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:11,055
Macho Man, his Achilles' heel
is his Achilles' heel.
463
00:18:11,193 --> 00:18:13,506
Now is not the time
for riddles, okay?
464
00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:15,266
Just bite him on
the back of the foot.
465
00:18:15,404 --> 00:18:16,509
Really?
Yes!
466
00:18:16,647 --> 00:18:19,201
Is he basically
a clean guy?
467
00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:20,444
Just do it!
468
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:21,824
All right.
469
00:18:21,962 --> 00:18:23,274
Ow!
470
00:18:23,412 --> 00:18:27,209
That's my little weak place
on the back of my foot!
471
00:18:27,347 --> 00:18:29,073
Oh, mama!
472
00:18:32,249 --> 00:18:33,353
[BELL RINGS]
473
00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:37,357
The winner,
"Macho Man" Randy Savage!
474
00:18:37,495 --> 00:18:39,083
I won!
475
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:41,534
Oh, sorry,
Mrs. Bluestone.
476
00:18:41,672 --> 00:18:43,708
Mrs. Bluestone?
477
00:18:45,434 --> 00:18:46,332
[GRUNTS]
478
00:18:47,678 --> 00:18:48,989
[BELL RINGS]
479
00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:53,442
[♪♪♪]
480
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:54,788
Jamie:
Hey, you know what?
481
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:56,928
Do you wanna
stay over tonight?
482
00:18:57,066 --> 00:18:58,102
Sleep in here
with you?
483
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,207
Why not?
484
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,209
Oh, they got to you,
didn't they?
485
00:19:01,347 --> 00:19:02,589
No.
486
00:19:02,727 --> 00:19:05,316
Yes, they did.
The nagging Buchmans.
487
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:07,422
Look what they did.
They broke your spirit.
488
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,183
Maybe they have a point in
a backward sort of way.
489
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:11,702
What? No, W-w-what? What?
490
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,738
Maybe it's a slippery
slope, you know?
491
00:19:13,876 --> 00:19:16,120
Maybe the first step
on the road to ruin
492
00:19:16,258 --> 00:19:17,604
is two or three
nights apart.
493
00:19:17,742 --> 00:19:19,330
Maybe we need
to be more careful.
494
00:19:19,468 --> 00:19:21,470
Maybe even if we're
tempted to sleep apart,
495
00:19:21,608 --> 00:19:24,887
there's a greater, godlier
reason to sleep together.
496
00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:28,960
I wanna watch M.A.S.H.
497
00:19:29,098 --> 00:19:30,790
Well, I wanna
read about Gwyneth.
498
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:32,550
Well, go ahead.
So that'll be good.
499
00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:34,000
All right.
500
00:19:34,138 --> 00:19:37,106
[♪♪♪]
501
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:44,769
[IN ACCENT]
Hello. My name is Gwyneth,
and I'm this big around.
502
00:19:47,116 --> 00:19:51,017
[CHUCKLES]
503
00:19:51,155 --> 00:19:54,538
TV:
Please stay tuned.
M.A.S.H. will be right back.
504
00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:57,713
[THEME FROM "M.A.S.H." PLAYING]
505
00:19:57,851 --> 00:20:00,716
[♪♪♪]
506
00:20:00,854 --> 00:20:03,202
MARVIN:
This could've been
my night, Ira.
507
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:05,480
I could've taken
Macho Man apart.
508
00:20:05,618 --> 00:20:06,826
Instead, what happens?
509
00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:09,346
He wins, and I get a one-way
ticket to Palookaville.
510
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:12,418
Come on, Marvin,
it worked out great.
511
00:20:12,556 --> 00:20:13,764
You're my manager, Ira,
512
00:20:13,902 --> 00:20:15,455
you shouldn't
have done that to me.
513
00:20:15,593 --> 00:20:17,043
You should've
looked out for me
514
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:19,563
instead of tellin' the guy
exactly where to bite me.
515
00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:21,496
You saw a lot of money
tonight, kid.
516
00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,360
You're gonna see
a lot more very soon.
517
00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:25,051
You don't understand.
518
00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:27,156
I could've had class.
519
00:20:27,295 --> 00:20:28,606
I could've
been a contender
520
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:31,471
instead of the first wrestler
ever defended by his mother,
521
00:20:31,609 --> 00:20:33,439
which is what I am,
let's face it.
522
00:20:33,577 --> 00:20:35,337
Marvin, what are you,
a psycho, huh?
523
00:20:35,475 --> 00:20:37,477
You're in good
with the wrestling league,
524
00:20:37,615 --> 00:20:40,860
they're hyping you to go
against the champ in two months.
525
00:20:40,998 --> 00:20:42,482
Really?
Yes.
526
00:20:42,620 --> 00:20:44,553
We're in very,
very good shape, my friend.
527
00:20:44,691 --> 00:20:46,245
That's what
I'm tryin' to tell you.
528
00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:48,350
Oh.
529
00:20:48,488 --> 00:20:51,180
[APELIKE GRUNTS]
530
00:20:51,319 --> 00:20:53,113
[♪♪♪]
531
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,632
TV:
Your attention, please.
532
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,290
Tune in tomorrow night
at 11:30,M.A.S.H. fans,
533
00:20:57,428 --> 00:20:59,706
as the Korean War
begins all over again
534
00:20:59,844 --> 00:21:03,262
with episode one, the Pilot.
That is all.
535
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,266
["M.A.S.H." THEME PLAYING]
536
00:21:09,647 --> 00:21:13,272
[♪♪♪]
537
00:21:17,828 --> 00:21:19,381
I went to Juilliard,
you know.
538
00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:21,728
Marlon Brando,
Al Pacino,
539
00:21:21,866 --> 00:21:24,421
Konstantin Stanislavski,
all those guys.
540
00:21:24,559 --> 00:21:26,457
Can't tell you how
many movies I've done.
541
00:21:26,595 --> 00:21:28,701
Ten, 15, 20,
I lost count, really.
542
00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:31,220
Did you know that
my brother's in Chicago?
543
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,326
I mean, not--not the city,
the rock group.
544
00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:35,190
So if you ever
wanna go to the concerts,
545
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,778
I'll get you
front row seats.
546
00:21:36,916 --> 00:21:38,020
Down--
547
00:21:38,158 --> 00:21:41,576
Dr. Livingston, can I
see you for a minute?
548
00:21:41,714 --> 00:21:43,302
Come on.
Yeah, sure.
549
00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,200
Let's go.
Nice talkin' to you.
550
00:21:46,650 --> 00:21:49,894
[PUNCHING, GLASS BREAKING]
551
00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:03,874
Okay...so where were we?
552
00:22:09,224 --> 00:22:13,224
Closed Captioning:
Leanne Royo
37988
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof