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1
00:00:01,208 --> 00:00:03,106
[♪♪♪♪♪]
2
00:00:15,463 --> 00:00:17,948
[IMITATES BUZZING]
Ahh!
3
00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:20,020
[♪♪♪♪♪]
4
00:00:24,472 --> 00:00:27,372
[♪♪♪♪♪]
5
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:30,168
Any further bids
on lot 1214?
6
00:00:31,617 --> 00:00:32,825
AUCTIONEER:
Going once...
7
00:00:32,963 --> 00:00:34,758
Ooh, let's bid on that.
8
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:36,243
Going twice...
A chain saw?
9
00:00:36,381 --> 00:00:37,934
All right, don't come
crying to me
10
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:41,351
next time you want
to take down a redwood.
11
00:00:41,489 --> 00:00:45,562
Sold! Lot 1214 to the
gentleman with the cast.
12
00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,358
I told you,
I wasn't bidding.
13
00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,673
And now we'll start
the bidding on lot 1232.
14
00:00:52,811 --> 00:00:54,606
Oh, honey, look at this.
What is it?
15
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:57,022
A honeymoon weekend.
What is that?
16
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,404
"Three days and two nights
at a lovers paradise
17
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:03,787
"nestled far from civilization
on acres of pristine beauty.
18
00:01:03,925 --> 00:01:05,444
It's the honeymoon
you never had."
19
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:07,446
It doesn't say that.
Absolutely it does.
20
00:01:07,584 --> 00:01:09,310
"A delightful getaway,
filled with charm
21
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:11,864
"that will also relieve
the crushing guilt you must feel
22
00:01:12,002 --> 00:01:14,798
"at never having taken that
special someone on a honeymoon.
23
00:01:14,936 --> 00:01:17,353
Even after seven years.
Your wife Jamie will thank you."
24
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,769
Honey, we'll bid. We'll bid
on the honeymoon package.
25
00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:21,978
Paul? Jamie?
Dr. Lee, hi.
26
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,704
It's so good to see you.
27
00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:25,430
How is Mabel?
Great. She's great.
28
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:28,088
That's so great you took time
off to come down to the auction.
29
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:29,917
Actually, my waiting
room is full,
30
00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:32,057
and my patients
will all resent me tremendously
31
00:01:32,195 --> 00:01:33,231
for the inconvenience.
32
00:01:33,369 --> 00:01:35,992
But I'm very pleased
to be here.
33
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,683
Here you go, Bunny.
34
00:01:37,821 --> 00:01:38,995
Thank you, Boo-Boo.
35
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,755
Diane?
36
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:44,794
Paul! Hi!
37
00:01:44,932 --> 00:01:47,452
What a surprise.
38
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,868
Well, no. Well, yes.
What a-- What a surprise.
39
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:51,732
You. You, and you,
you two?
40
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:54,838
Oh, you silly thing, I'm sure
Jamie told you she set us up.
41
00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:56,771
Didn't I?
No.
42
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,290
I figured doctor, nurse...
43
00:01:58,428 --> 00:01:59,947
Sure, medical professionals.
Sure.
44
00:02:00,085 --> 00:02:01,224
Besides I just...
45
00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,606
really wanted you
to be in a relationship.
46
00:02:03,744 --> 00:02:04,952
[SQUEALS]
47
00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:08,749
Look! A lawn flamingo
with propellers.
48
00:02:08,887 --> 00:02:10,060
Come on.
Let's go look.
49
00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:12,925
You know, we were just
getting ready-- Alrighty.
50
00:02:13,063 --> 00:02:15,790
Bye, Boo-Boo.
Come back soon.
51
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,241
Boo-boo. Oh, Boo-Boo.
I get it.
52
00:02:18,379 --> 00:02:19,725
Boo-boo
'cause she's a nurse?
53
00:02:19,863 --> 00:02:22,038
No.
54
00:02:23,212 --> 00:02:25,869
So you and Diane, huh?
55
00:02:29,356 --> 00:02:31,461
How's that going?
56
00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:33,774
We spend every night together.
57
00:02:33,912 --> 00:02:35,707
I haven't slept in three weeks,
58
00:02:35,845 --> 00:02:38,054
and I fear my work
is suffering.
59
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,332
But for the first time
in my life,
60
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:43,577
I'm completely sexually
satisfied.
61
00:02:43,715 --> 00:02:47,443
All right, then.
62
00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:50,825
Until now, sex has been
a quixotic experience for me,
63
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:54,070
filled with murky self-doubt
and general self-loathing.
64
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,520
Uh-huh.
65
00:02:55,658 --> 00:02:58,902
But Diane has taken me beyond
my previous limits as a man
66
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,352
and as a lover.
67
00:03:00,490 --> 00:03:03,390
Okay.
68
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:05,530
She's a deeply sexual being.
69
00:03:05,668 --> 00:03:07,670
Fearless and athletic.
70
00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:13,123
With incredible talent and a
tacit understanding of my body.
71
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,953
She's not afraid to teach,
72
00:03:15,091 --> 00:03:17,680
and I'm not too proud
to learn.
73
00:03:19,337 --> 00:03:21,097
She leaves me
hungry for nothing
74
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,376
but hunger itself.
75
00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:25,688
And how are you?
76
00:03:25,826 --> 00:03:27,241
I'm fine.
77
00:03:29,554 --> 00:03:31,487
Bunny is just
the greatest.
78
00:03:31,625 --> 00:03:33,040
Yes, Bunny seems great.
79
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:36,112
And he reminds me
so much of Paul.
80
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,907
Ah, you don't say.
81
00:03:38,045 --> 00:03:41,290
Okay, the next item up
for bids is lot 1217,
82
00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:44,016
a sterling silver
wild boar hairbrush.
83
00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:45,052
[SQUEALS]
84
00:03:45,190 --> 00:03:47,468
That's what I came for.
Fifty.
85
00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:50,230
I have 50. Do I hear 55?
Fifty-five.
86
00:03:50,368 --> 00:03:51,610
Excellent.
What?
87
00:03:51,748 --> 00:03:52,922
I always wanted
one of those.
88
00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:54,268
I have 55.
89
00:03:54,406 --> 00:03:55,718
Sixty.
A hundred.
90
00:03:55,856 --> 00:03:58,168
I have 100.
A hundred and five.
91
00:03:58,307 --> 00:03:59,653
Can I speak to you,
sweetie?
92
00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:00,999
I want the
silver boar thingy.
93
00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,138
AUCTIONEER:
Sold!
94
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,244
For $105 to the
fetching young nurse.
95
00:04:04,382 --> 00:04:05,348
[DIANE SQUEALS]
96
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:07,730
You set up Dr. Lee and Diane?
Yeah.
97
00:04:07,868 --> 00:04:10,215
No, listen, I never would
have-- I mean, good for you.
98
00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:13,114
I never would have pictured
them together.
99
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,254
A little jealous?
100
00:04:14,392 --> 00:04:15,876
No, I'm not jealous.
101
00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:17,878
Look, I understand
I can't have Diane,
102
00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,983
but for her to be with
another guy, that's just--
103
00:04:20,121 --> 00:04:21,122
That-- That's not right.
104
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,917
I see.
105
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,747
Do I have any more bids
on lot 1218?
106
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:27,094
That's your honeymoon package.
Going once...
107
00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:28,647
Oh, bid, bid.
How much is it worth?
108
00:04:28,785 --> 00:04:30,615
I don't know. I'm not sure.
Going twice...
109
00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:32,202
Let's take a moment
and figure out--
110
00:04:32,341 --> 00:04:33,894
Two thousand dollars!
Or just do that.
111
00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,690
Wow! Two thou--
Going once, twice, sold!
112
00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:39,831
Lot 1218. The Royal Bouncer.
The what?
113
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:43,455
The Royal Bouncer.
To the odd woman by the table.
114
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:45,595
Next item up for bid,
115
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,425
the honeymoon getaway.
116
00:04:47,563 --> 00:04:49,116
Oh, no, no.
I'm getting our money back.
117
00:04:49,254 --> 00:04:52,222
I know that all the sick
and injured children
118
00:04:52,361 --> 00:04:54,777
want to thank you
for your generosity. Hmm?
119
00:04:59,506 --> 00:05:01,197
You're going to love
that Royal Bouncer.
120
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,612
It was a mistake, actually.
121
00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:04,821
We thought we were bidding
on the honeymoon package.
122
00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:06,823
Oh, how unfortunate.
Yeah.
123
00:05:06,961 --> 00:05:08,411
But, you know,
I might be able to help.
124
00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:10,137
My uncle is in
the travel business.
125
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:11,518
Honeymoons
are his specialty.
126
00:05:11,656 --> 00:05:12,829
Really?
127
00:05:12,967 --> 00:05:14,900
Yes, it's best if
you contact him directly.
128
00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:17,558
He cares little for me,
his only nephew.
129
00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:19,905
But he'll bend over
backwards for total strangers
130
00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:21,010
without hesitation.
131
00:05:21,148 --> 00:05:22,598
Well...
Well, there you go.
132
00:05:22,736 --> 00:05:23,909
Very nice of you
to help us out.
133
00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:25,532
There you go.
We can have everything.
134
00:05:25,670 --> 00:05:27,879
We can have the honeymoon
and the Royal Bouncer.
135
00:05:28,017 --> 00:05:30,433
What is a Royal Bouncer?
136
00:05:35,542 --> 00:05:38,441
Well, it's certainly an exciting
addition to our living room.
137
00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:41,617
When we get back, we can sell it
to a clown college.
138
00:05:41,755 --> 00:05:42,894
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
139
00:05:43,032 --> 00:05:44,482
Who is it?
Lisa!
140
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:45,724
Coming.
Okay, coming.
141
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,588
LISA: Okay.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
142
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:50,798
Why does she--?
I don't know.
143
00:05:52,559 --> 00:05:54,215
Oh, there you are.
Yes.
144
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,355
I bought you something.
145
00:05:55,493 --> 00:05:58,979
Raising the Black Child.
146
00:05:59,117 --> 00:06:01,326
Well, thank you.
So listen, there's a few things
147
00:06:01,464 --> 00:06:03,742
we have to go over.
Oh, my God! A Royal Bouncer?
148
00:06:06,124 --> 00:06:08,540
Now, wait, wait.
Is this new?
149
00:06:08,678 --> 00:06:11,129
An enormous
inflatable castle
150
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:13,545
in the middle of our
living room? Yes.
151
00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:15,823
Oh, pretty please with sugar
on top. Can I bounce on it?
152
00:06:15,961 --> 00:06:17,929
No. We have to keep
it in good condition.
153
00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:19,171
Okay.
Now listen...
154
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:20,897
Murray has to be walked
three times a day.
155
00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:22,485
There's no food in
the fridge. Sorry.
156
00:06:22,623 --> 00:06:24,660
Any questions?
Yes, um,
157
00:06:24,798 --> 00:06:26,524
can I bounce on it
if I'm super careful?
158
00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:27,801
JAMIE: Lisa!
No, come here.
159
00:06:27,939 --> 00:06:28,836
Pop quiz.
Ow.
160
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:30,286
Tell me the house
rules, please.
161
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,875
Okay, no long distance calls.
Yes.
162
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:34,773
No falling asleep with
the bathtub running.
163
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,224
Yes.
Oh, no showing my butt
164
00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:40,434
to the people across
the street after 11.
165
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:42,332
Okay.
166
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,127
It's very simple.
Don't worry. I mean,
167
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:45,612
I'm a great house-sitter.
I know.
168
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:48,477
Remember when I was, uh,
house-sitting at the Kolostiak's
169
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:50,582
and there was that explosion?
Who called 911?
170
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,929
She's kidding.
171
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,966
[♪♪♪♪♪]
172
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,349
[♪♪♪♪♪]
173
00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:03,043
Here it is...
174
00:07:03,181 --> 00:07:04,320
The honeymoon suite.
175
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:07,944
Ooh, I recognize it
right away.
176
00:07:08,082 --> 00:07:11,741
Oh, my God!
177
00:07:11,879 --> 00:07:15,193
Look, honey...
heartburn.
178
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,576
Now I know you two
want to be alone,
179
00:07:18,714 --> 00:07:20,578
so I'll just quickly
snap your arrival photo.
180
00:07:20,716 --> 00:07:22,925
We don't even need a picture.
All right. All right.
181
00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:24,789
And if you can keep your hands
off each other
182
00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:26,929
for just one more second,
I'll take you through
183
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:29,379
the highlights of the room.
The theme is love.
184
00:07:29,518 --> 00:07:31,278
To my right...
185
00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:33,073
the popular lip couch.
186
00:07:33,211 --> 00:07:36,317
Above the heart-shaped bed,
a panoramic mirror.
187
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,527
And remember...
objects in mirror
188
00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:39,942
are larger than they appear.
189
00:07:43,014 --> 00:07:44,740
On top of your TV,
190
00:07:44,878 --> 00:07:46,224
your cheese plate of love,
191
00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:48,675
featuring the
heart-shaped gouda.
192
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:50,884
Hotel information
on channel one.
193
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:53,127
You might want
to take a gander at it
194
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:55,336
before you get too
involved in, uh...
195
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,718
extracurricular activities.
196
00:07:57,856 --> 00:08:00,341
Or you can save the info
for later if you'd rather...
197
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,446
get started.
198
00:08:01,584 --> 00:08:02,654
Oh, all right.
All right.
199
00:08:02,792 --> 00:08:04,760
Whichever you prefer.
I'm not asking questions.
200
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:06,486
That's very
gentlemanly of you.
201
00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:08,108
Okay, thank you.
202
00:08:08,246 --> 00:08:10,731
Hi. How you doin'?
203
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,183
I'll be honest
with you...
204
00:08:14,321 --> 00:08:17,082
I have always wanted to make
love on a heart-shaped bed.
205
00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:18,152
You did?
206
00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:19,706
Yes.
207
00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:23,986
Boy.
208
00:08:24,124 --> 00:08:25,850
So how do you...?
209
00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:35,515
Hey, look.
The bottom of my heart.
210
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,384
Oop, the feet.
211
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,179
A little short.
212
00:08:56,363 --> 00:08:57,537
Um...
213
00:08:57,675 --> 00:08:58,572
You know what?
214
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:00,091
Sweetie, I love you,
but, uh...
215
00:09:00,229 --> 00:09:01,299
it's been a long drive.
216
00:09:01,437 --> 00:09:03,025
I think I'm just gonna
take a little nap
217
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:04,958
in the left ventricle.
218
00:09:13,242 --> 00:09:15,347
What are you staring at?
219
00:09:15,485 --> 00:09:17,798
Hey, my ass!
220
00:09:17,936 --> 00:09:19,179
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
221
00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:21,491
Oddly, my ass,
also heart-shaped.
222
00:09:24,529 --> 00:09:26,911
Hi!
Hi!
223
00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:28,050
Hi.
224
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:29,741
I heard Bunny
planning your trip,
225
00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:31,432
and I insisted we come too.
226
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,158
We got the room
across the hall.
227
00:09:33,296 --> 00:09:35,126
Oh.
Good. Very nice.
228
00:09:35,264 --> 00:09:36,437
We made this for you
229
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,716
in "sweets for your sweetie"
cooking class.
230
00:09:38,854 --> 00:09:39,786
Oh, isn't that sweet...
231
00:09:39,924 --> 00:09:40,856
for the sweetie?
Yeah.
232
00:09:40,994 --> 00:09:42,582
I, myself,
am hyperglycemic
233
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,480
and tend to black out
if I have sugar.
234
00:09:44,618 --> 00:09:47,345
But you, without the
debilitating disease, eat up!
235
00:09:47,483 --> 00:09:50,003
Okay. Well,
thank you so much,
236
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:51,970
and thanks for coming by--
Oh, our pleasure.
237
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:54,386
This room is great!
238
00:09:54,524 --> 00:09:57,735
Ahh, you have so many
heart-shaped things.
239
00:09:57,873 --> 00:09:59,702
What a wonderful bed.
240
00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,259
How do you like
the honeymoon so far?
241
00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,473
So what country
are you in?
242
00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:16,754
Scotland! Cool.
243
00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:18,894
Man, you guys have
the best accents.
244
00:10:19,032 --> 00:10:23,277
[IN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
Throw another shrimp
on the barbie, ay, mate?
245
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,383
[HUMS]
246
00:10:26,798 --> 00:10:28,628
Hey, do you have a castle?
247
00:10:28,766 --> 00:10:30,595
Yeah? Well, I do.
248
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,942
Ha, ha, ha. Yeah.
I'm bouncing in it.
249
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,013
With no adult supervision.
250
00:10:37,498 --> 00:10:38,983
Oh!
251
00:10:39,121 --> 00:10:41,641
Uh-oh.
252
00:10:41,779 --> 00:10:43,643
Hey. Can I ask you something?
253
00:10:43,781 --> 00:10:46,784
You ever get your foot
stuck in your castle?
254
00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:48,061
Hello?
255
00:10:48,199 --> 00:10:50,097
[♪♪♪♪♪]
256
00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:56,690
[HACKING]
257
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,572
What?
258
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:17,953
We've been married
a long time.
259
00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:19,609
Yeah.
260
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:22,026
So?
261
00:11:22,164 --> 00:11:23,579
So. Ahem.
262
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:25,132
We're finally
on our honeymoon.
263
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,720
Yeah. Ha, ha.
264
00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:28,135
This is our big
sexy honeymoon.
265
00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:29,585
Yes, it is.
266
00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:31,552
Are you ready?
267
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,142
Yes, I am.
268
00:11:41,355 --> 00:11:42,840
What?
269
00:11:42,978 --> 00:11:44,427
Darling, didn't--
Do you remember?
270
00:11:44,565 --> 00:11:46,498
Did they say, is tomorrow
continental breakfast
271
00:11:46,636 --> 00:11:48,190
or full breakfast?
272
00:11:48,328 --> 00:11:49,467
I think they said full.
273
00:11:49,605 --> 00:11:51,124
Oh, oh, okay. Good.
274
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,230
What's the matter?
275
00:11:54,368 --> 00:11:56,232
It's been so long since
we've had French toast.
276
00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:57,993
Boy, it really is.
277
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,479
You know, there's no
rule says we have to--
278
00:12:01,617 --> 00:12:03,653
I don't need to.
No. Yeah, okay.
279
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:10,212
[DIANE AND DR. LEE MOANING]
280
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,145
Oh, boy.
281
00:12:14,112 --> 00:12:15,148
Is that...?
282
00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:17,495
DR. LEE:
That makes me happy.
283
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:22,845
DIANE:
Ohh! Ohh!
284
00:12:22,983 --> 00:12:24,674
Paul!
285
00:12:32,648 --> 00:12:34,408
Well, that's...
286
00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,514
just great.
287
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,966
Yeah.
288
00:12:49,182 --> 00:12:51,046
Okay, but after, you'll--
You'll tell me why?
289
00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:52,495
Yeah.
290
00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:56,672
[♪♪♪♪♪]
291
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,088
Hey, Lisa?
Over here, by the dungeon.
292
00:12:59,226 --> 00:13:01,504
It's all right. I'm coming. Hey,
by the way,
293
00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:03,990
I'm very flattered
that you should call me.
294
00:13:04,128 --> 00:13:06,268
Well, yours is the only
number I have memorized,
295
00:13:06,406 --> 00:13:07,752
because it spells "jklrtis."
296
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,098
Ah, there we go.
297
00:13:09,236 --> 00:13:11,860
Ow! My hair!
298
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:14,276
Ooh, my button.
I think it's caught.
299
00:13:14,414 --> 00:13:15,691
Ow. Ow.
300
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,004
Ow. Ow! Ow! Ow!
301
00:13:18,142 --> 00:13:21,628
Don't move your body
anymore, ever. Ow!
302
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:28,669
You called out Paul's
name during relations.
303
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:33,951
So what?
304
00:13:34,089 --> 00:13:36,263
That makes me unhappy.
305
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:39,439
Oh, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny,
Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny.
306
00:13:39,577 --> 00:13:42,131
Want to go back
in the champagne cup?
307
00:13:42,269 --> 00:13:44,444
No!
308
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:47,723
The champagne cup
holds no appeal for me now.
309
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:50,519
[JAMIE AND PAUL MOANING]
310
00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:53,418
PAUL:
Oh!
311
00:13:53,556 --> 00:13:55,248
Paul!
312
00:14:00,943 --> 00:14:03,739
I don't like this hotel.
313
00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:08,917
[♪♪♪♪♪]
314
00:14:09,055 --> 00:14:11,333
Stand back! I'm ready to help!
315
00:14:11,471 --> 00:14:13,335
Hey, Marvin!
Thank goodness you're here.
316
00:14:13,473 --> 00:14:15,337
Don't worry, boss.
I'm coming in.
317
00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:17,442
It's okay. It's not like
we're dyin' or anything.
318
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,513
Calm down!
It'll be a second!
319
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,722
What are you doing? Hey, hey!
320
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:22,931
Oww!
321
00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:26,037
Marvin, for God's sake,
just untangle us.
322
00:14:26,175 --> 00:14:27,763
I can't.
323
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:30,593
I can't move. I don't do well
in enclosed spaces.
324
00:14:30,731 --> 00:14:33,044
Why didn't you think about that
before you jumped in here?
325
00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:34,908
I thought I could
conquer my fear.
326
00:14:35,046 --> 00:14:35,944
It turns out, no.
327
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:37,738
Hello?
IRA: Maggie, help!
328
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,017
We're stuck in here.
MARVIN: Is it getting smaller?
329
00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:42,640
Is the mesh
tightening?
330
00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:44,918
Will somebody
please dignify me
331
00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,920
with an answer?
332
00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:48,370
For the love of God,
333
00:14:48,508 --> 00:14:51,131
I can't believe
that three grown adults
334
00:14:51,269 --> 00:14:53,478
are trapped
in a child's toy.
335
00:14:53,616 --> 00:14:56,378
I mean, these things are so easy
to get in and out of--
336
00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:57,724
The foot!
337
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,726
[SCREAMS]
MARVIN: Gimme foot.
338
00:14:59,864 --> 00:15:02,522
Somehow the foot
gives me hope.
339
00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:04,662
Please let go
of my foot.
340
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,353
This little piggy
went to market,
341
00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,804
this little piggy
went home,
342
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,013
this little piggy had
a big beef sandwich!
343
00:15:11,151 --> 00:15:13,222
This little piggy had
a psychotic breakdown
344
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,741
in the middle
of a bouncy castle!
345
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:16,225
[MAGGIE SCREAMS]
346
00:15:16,363 --> 00:15:19,159
[♪♪♪♪♪]
347
00:15:19,297 --> 00:15:23,232
You call out your
own name during sex?
348
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:25,096
It-- It wasn't
on purpose.
349
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:26,856
Do you know
how sick that is?
350
00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:29,411
Let's--
Let's not use labels.
351
00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:32,448
It's sick!
It's profoundly sick!
352
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:36,038
Why...why can't-- Why can't you
see it as something positive?
353
00:15:36,176 --> 00:15:37,212
Oh, this ought to be good.
354
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:38,938
You know, I--
I think it demonstrates a--
355
00:15:39,076 --> 00:15:41,561
A very strong self-image.
Yes, I would say very strong.
356
00:15:41,699 --> 00:15:45,910
I...you know, at least
I know who I am.
357
00:15:46,048 --> 00:15:49,500
Honey, can we please just
talk about it in the morning?
358
00:15:49,638 --> 00:15:52,054
Diane!
My fragile self-image
359
00:15:52,192 --> 00:15:53,538
has been crushed to the point
360
00:15:53,676 --> 00:15:57,094
of probable
lifelong impotence.
361
00:15:57,232 --> 00:15:59,510
But you sleep well.
362
00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:00,890
Where are you going?
363
00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:03,997
I'm going
to the gift shop.
364
00:16:04,135 --> 00:16:06,103
Is it wrong that--
That I think of myself
365
00:16:06,241 --> 00:16:07,552
as a sexual being?
366
00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:11,591
Is-- Is it wrong that
I'm capable of arousing myself.
367
00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:14,318
I mean, is it wrong--
Is it wrong that--
368
00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:16,734
Someone help me.
369
00:16:16,872 --> 00:16:19,185
Why don't you have a nice
honeymoon with yourself?
370
00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:21,290
Where are you going?
I don't know. The gift shop.
371
00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,258
Oh, Jamie!
You see that?
372
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:24,638
Where was that
10 minutes ago?
373
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:26,295
Ah.
Hi.
374
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:28,608
Hi.
Sorry.
375
00:16:28,746 --> 00:16:30,230
I was on my way
to the gift shop,
376
00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:32,577
but I was listening at your door
and heard you talking.
377
00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:34,924
Jamie, you are
understandably upset.
378
00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:36,305
Thank you.
All right.
379
00:16:36,443 --> 00:16:38,687
Don't we think we're making
just quite enough of this?
380
00:16:38,825 --> 00:16:41,034
You mean
you heard me?
381
00:16:41,172 --> 00:16:42,622
It's okay.
382
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,865
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
383
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:48,869
As I'm sure
you are too Paul.
384
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,630
You-- You guys heard me?
385
00:16:50,768 --> 00:16:51,976
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
386
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:54,358
Jamie, may I sleep
with your husband?
387
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:58,086
I'm sorry?
Better you than me, doc.
388
00:16:58,224 --> 00:16:59,501
Where are you
going to sleep?
389
00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:01,261
You got a king-size bed?
And then some.
390
00:17:01,399 --> 00:17:02,538
Perfect.
391
00:17:02,676 --> 00:17:05,645
Ho there, Chester.
392
00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:07,198
[♪♪♪♪♪]
393
00:17:10,719 --> 00:17:11,927
I got your message.
394
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,446
Who are you?
Who are you, madame?
395
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:16,069
Sheila, Sheila.
Sheila. Sheila, how you doing?
396
00:17:16,207 --> 00:17:17,864
This is, uh, Paul
and Jamie's therapist.
397
00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:19,659
How ya do--? I'm Ira.
Hi, Ira.
398
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:21,247
This is Lisa.
Enchante.
399
00:17:21,385 --> 00:17:22,834
Right back at ya.
400
00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:25,492
And this is Marvin. And, uh,
Maggie's foot.
401
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:26,804
And over there is Maggie.
402
00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:29,082
Hello.
Hello.
403
00:17:29,220 --> 00:17:31,291
[WHIMPERS]
404
00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:32,568
What's with him?
405
00:17:32,706 --> 00:17:34,984
Hey, he's major
claustrophobic.
406
00:17:35,123 --> 00:17:36,952
What's he doing
in there, then?
407
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,368
Come on out,
little fella.
408
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,959
Stay in there.
Sheila?
409
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,134
Sheila, could you
help us, please?
410
00:17:46,272 --> 00:17:49,033
Huh. Boy, if I only had a nickel
for every time I heard that.
411
00:17:49,171 --> 00:17:50,414
IRA:
Sheila! Sheila!
412
00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:52,278
[ALL CLAMORING]
413
00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:54,418
Just one minute, please.
414
00:17:54,556 --> 00:17:58,042
Am I not entitled to one drop
of pleasure in my life?
415
00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:01,321
ALL:
No! No! No!
416
00:18:01,459 --> 00:18:03,530
Oh! My ankle...
417
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:06,326
And my wrist.
Somebody help me.
418
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,020
Bunch of monkeys.
419
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:13,092
[♪♪♪♪♪]
420
00:18:15,646 --> 00:18:17,889
Comfy?
421
00:18:18,027 --> 00:18:19,960
Mm-hmm.
422
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,723
[MUMBLES]
Calls out his own name
in the middle of sex.
423
00:18:23,861 --> 00:18:27,416
What?
Nothing.
424
00:18:27,554 --> 00:18:30,523
[MUMBLES]
Seventy-five people yelling
"Paul" in one hotel.
425
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,490
What?
426
00:18:34,665 --> 00:18:37,599
I'd like you to admit
you have a crush on my husband.
427
00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:39,773
Oh, I have a huge crush
on him.
428
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,227
But-- A--
429
00:18:45,365 --> 00:18:47,988
I think he's sweet
and vulnerable,
430
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:51,958
yet older and comfortable
in his own skin.
431
00:18:52,096 --> 00:18:55,237
He's got a great smile,
and really good eyes,
432
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:58,067
and his teeth... wowee.
433
00:18:58,206 --> 00:19:00,725
[STAMMERS]
434
00:19:00,863 --> 00:19:02,037
But he's your husband.
435
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:05,213
And as such,
he's off-limits.
436
00:19:05,351 --> 00:19:09,665
All I can do is toast your
good fortune, live my own life,
437
00:19:09,803 --> 00:19:13,255
ask for your forgiveness,
if at an unguarded moment,
438
00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:15,326
I fall down.
439
00:19:17,708 --> 00:19:19,537
Okay.
440
00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:23,645
You're a very lucky woman,
Jamie.
441
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,233
Yeah.
442
00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,823
So where you from?
443
00:19:29,961 --> 00:19:33,413
You okay there,
Dr. Lee?
444
00:19:33,551 --> 00:19:35,519
Yes,
it's most comfortable.
445
00:19:35,657 --> 00:19:38,625
The sofa's nasal bone is
right in the small of my back,
446
00:19:38,763 --> 00:19:41,973
causing intense pressure
on my spinal column.
447
00:19:42,111 --> 00:19:45,425
But this is part of the charm
of a novelty item.
448
00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:48,842
Look, I-- Dr. Lee,
I just want to say
449
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:52,812
I'm sure Diane and I
both deeply regret that...
450
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,780
we called out my name
during sex.
451
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:02,097
My little Boo-Boo has very
strong feelings for you, Paul.
452
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:07,551
Well, be that as it may,
let's focus on Diane.
453
00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:11,002
I'm sure it's not
any big deal to you.
454
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:12,694
The guy who's probably
always gotten
455
00:20:12,832 --> 00:20:14,351
any woman he ever looked at.
456
00:20:14,489 --> 00:20:17,699
That's true.
457
00:20:17,837 --> 00:20:20,080
But it's a big deal to me.
458
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,876
I can't compete with you,
Paul. I'm aware of that.
459
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,086
We both know that all you'd have
to do is snap your fingers
460
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,881
and Boo-Boo would be yours.
461
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,745
And so I'm asking you,
462
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:32,990
as an act of mercy, please!
463
00:20:33,128 --> 00:20:36,096
You're already married
to a fantastic woman.
464
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,788
Release Diane.
465
00:20:37,926 --> 00:20:39,410
Release her!
466
00:20:41,412 --> 00:20:45,209
I suppose this once
I could. Okay.
467
00:20:45,347 --> 00:20:48,039
Thank you.
That's very kind of you.
468
00:20:48,177 --> 00:20:49,869
I'll spend the rest
of my life knowing
469
00:20:50,007 --> 00:20:52,492
that I am only with Diane
because of your largesse,
470
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:55,495
and I'll question to the death
whether or not her love is true,
471
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:58,291
but thank you.
472
00:20:58,429 --> 00:21:01,018
You have such awesome hair.
473
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:03,814
No, you do.
No, you.
474
00:21:03,952 --> 00:21:05,333
JAMIE: No, you do.
DIANE: No, you.
475
00:21:05,471 --> 00:21:06,403
Hi.
Hi.
476
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,715
[IN UNISON]
Hi!
477
00:21:10,579 --> 00:21:12,478
[♪♪♪♪♪]
478
00:21:17,414 --> 00:21:20,279
Raising the Black Child.
479
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:22,660
I tell you, whether you
have a black kid or not,
480
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:25,353
this is a killer book.
481
00:21:25,491 --> 00:21:27,803
Hey! Let the nice
lady's leg go.
482
00:21:27,941 --> 00:21:30,254
[CRIES]
483
00:21:30,392 --> 00:21:32,429
LISA:
Hey, Maggie,
who annoys you more,
484
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:34,914
Paul or Jamie?
Murray, what are you doing?
485
00:21:35,052 --> 00:21:36,225
Hey, hey,
what's going on?
486
00:21:36,364 --> 00:21:38,711
I'm melting!
487
00:21:38,849 --> 00:21:41,369
[ALL CLAMORING]
488
00:21:41,507 --> 00:21:43,198
Jamie does!
489
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:45,373
Sure you didn't want
to stay for the whole weekend?
490
00:21:45,511 --> 00:21:47,754
Sweetie, we don't need
a fancy hotel for a honeymoon.
491
00:21:47,892 --> 00:21:52,241
All we need is each other
and apartment 11D.
492
00:21:56,384 --> 00:21:58,213
You know,
there's always Acapulco.
493
00:22:05,979 --> 00:22:07,878
Closed Captions:
Sarah Cannon
34315
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