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1
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[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:02,554 --> 00:00:04,418
PAUL:
Come on, Mabel,
just say anything.
3
00:00:04,556 --> 00:00:06,351
[MABEL COOS]
4
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:08,215
Oh, my god.
Did you hear that?
5
00:00:08,353 --> 00:00:09,595
Mabel just spoke.
6
00:00:09,733 --> 00:00:10,769
Oh, she did not.
7
00:00:10,907 --> 00:00:12,460
Right there.
It was her first words.
8
00:00:12,598 --> 00:00:13,634
Uh-huh.
What were they?
9
00:00:13,772 --> 00:00:15,532
She just said,
"On Wisconsin."
10
00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:16,671
I see.
11
00:00:16,809 --> 00:00:18,259
Hey, I'm as surprised
as you are.
12
00:00:18,397 --> 00:00:20,710
But clear as a bell, she
said, "On Wisconsin."
13
00:00:20,848 --> 00:00:22,091
Why would she, really?
14
00:00:22,229 --> 00:00:24,231
Why? I don't know.
Maybe she hates Michigan.
15
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:25,956
I promise you
she will talk soon.
16
00:00:26,095 --> 00:00:27,510
All right.
17
00:00:27,648 --> 00:00:29,512
TV:
Tell her you'd marry her
all over again.
18
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:32,342
Tell her you love her
more than yesterday,
19
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,758
but not as much
as tomorrow.
20
00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:37,934
Mmm, tell her that
next Thursday
21
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,419
you will love her
more than next Wednesday,
22
00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:43,043
but not quite as much
as a week from Saturday.
23
00:00:43,181 --> 00:00:44,492
While in the month
of July,
24
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:46,046
oh, how you'll love--
25
00:00:46,184 --> 00:00:47,806
Oh, he loves her!
What's that?
26
00:00:47,944 --> 00:00:50,188
More than yesterday,
but not as much as tomorrow.
27
00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:51,603
That's so sweet.
28
00:00:51,741 --> 00:00:53,950
Oh, sweetie,
not to burst your bubble,
29
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,814
but he's an actor.
30
00:00:55,952 --> 00:00:57,540
Would you do it all again?
What?
31
00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:58,782
Marry me.
32
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,577
You mean, now that I know
you're sappy?
33
00:01:00,715 --> 00:01:02,959
I'm serious, are you sure
you'd marry me again,
34
00:01:03,097 --> 00:01:04,271
right now,
if we met today?
35
00:01:04,409 --> 00:01:05,927
Instantly.
Instantly, I would.
36
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,722
Then let's do it.
37
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,000
Do what?
Let's renew our vows.
38
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,002
I don't, uh...
39
00:01:12,141 --> 00:01:13,556
I don't even know
what that means.
40
00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,868
Let's renew our vows,
let's get married again,
41
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:17,318
in front of God
and everybody.
42
00:01:17,456 --> 00:01:19,527
Okay, God, maybe,
but another seating chart,
43
00:01:19,665 --> 00:01:21,115
frankly, my head
would explode.
44
00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:22,910
It's been
such a long time.
45
00:01:23,048 --> 00:01:25,223
Yes, but it's
sort of like...
46
00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:27,432
[STAMMERING]
The vow--
It's a vow.
47
00:01:27,570 --> 00:01:29,537
Once a vow is a vow,
that's a vow.
48
00:01:29,675 --> 00:01:32,126
Yes, but we're not
who we were then.
49
00:01:32,264 --> 00:01:34,163
Look at us.
We're sleep deprived,
50
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:36,751
We're knee-deep
in work and poop
51
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:38,650
and projectile squash.
52
00:01:38,788 --> 00:01:41,411
Honey, we're the same people,
essentially,
53
00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:43,965
we're just
a little more disgusting.
54
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,485
Those are the people
that need to renew their vows.
55
00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:47,831
The disgusting people?
56
00:01:47,969 --> 00:01:49,281
There are
new things to say,
57
00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,766
things we didn't know
when we got married at 14.
58
00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,320
We weren't 14.
We were young.
59
00:01:53,458 --> 00:01:55,391
We weren't thatyoung.
Oh, we were soyoung--
60
00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:56,771
Okay, okay, we were
very young.
61
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:58,842
We knew nothing!
Can I tell you something?
62
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,637
When we gave our vows
the first time
63
00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:03,675
and I promised to swear
to respect, and honor,
64
00:02:03,813 --> 00:02:05,435
and tell the truth,
the whole truth,
65
00:02:05,573 --> 00:02:07,851
and nothing but the truth--
That still stands now.
66
00:02:07,989 --> 00:02:09,370
Fine.
67
00:02:09,508 --> 00:02:12,235
Can we discuss this another
time, like, I don't know, never?
68
00:02:12,373 --> 00:02:14,962
My throat is doing something
horrendous inside.
69
00:02:15,100 --> 00:02:16,136
Oh, suck it up.
70
00:02:16,274 --> 00:02:17,758
I'm sorry?
71
00:02:17,896 --> 00:02:19,208
I'm gonna be
folding laundry
72
00:02:19,346 --> 00:02:20,726
till about
the year 2006.
73
00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:22,349
I have a few of
my own problems, okay?
74
00:02:22,487 --> 00:02:23,626
[DOORBELL RINGS]
75
00:02:23,764 --> 00:02:25,593
So I'’m guessing
in sickness and in health,
76
00:02:25,731 --> 00:02:27,008
not a big part
of the new vows.
77
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:29,390
Hello. I just
came by to drop off
78
00:02:29,528 --> 00:02:31,358
a present for
my favorite baby.
79
00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:33,498
Is she gonna
love this or what?
80
00:02:33,636 --> 00:02:34,878
A truck?
81
00:02:35,016 --> 00:02:36,190
Yeah. Why?
82
00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:38,019
A truck?
83
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,401
What's wrong with you?
What is wrong with her?
84
00:02:40,539 --> 00:02:41,575
What is wrong
with you?
85
00:02:41,713 --> 00:02:42,955
Hey, what's
wrong with you?
86
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:45,026
Huh? Oh, I got a throat thing
going on--
87
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,925
Oh, god, all right,
excuse me.
88
00:02:47,063 --> 00:02:49,099
Let me see if we have
any sniffling-sneezing
89
00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:51,171
my-husband's-
a-big-wussy medicine.
90
00:02:51,309 --> 00:02:53,000
You're so sparkly.
91
00:02:54,795 --> 00:02:56,383
Is everything okay?
92
00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:57,832
Huh? Yeah, it's fine.
93
00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,144
All right.
94
00:02:59,282 --> 00:03:01,146
Hey, Mabel,
look what Uncle Ira
95
00:03:01,284 --> 00:03:02,354
brought you, a present.
96
00:03:02,492 --> 00:03:04,736
Can you say "truck," huh?
Truck?
97
00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:06,047
Can you say "truck"?
98
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,256
[GURGLES]
99
00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:08,602
Wow.
What?
100
00:03:08,740 --> 00:03:09,810
Did you
hear that?
101
00:03:09,948 --> 00:03:11,329
She just spoke.
She just spoke!
102
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,744
She did?
Yeah, she just said,
103
00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:14,470
"Sausages are free."
104
00:03:15,643 --> 00:03:16,851
I think
it was gurgling.
105
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:18,577
Clear as day,
she just said--
106
00:03:18,715 --> 00:03:21,442
She just said,
"Sausages are free."
107
00:03:21,580 --> 00:03:22,788
Honey,
did you hear that?
108
00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,031
JAMIE:
It was gurgling.
109
00:03:24,169 --> 00:03:25,929
All right.
What's that from anyway,
110
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:28,069
like, is that from
the Bible or something?
111
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,796
"Sausages are free?"
112
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:32,246
Yeah.
113
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,905
Yes. Yes, it's
from the Bible.
114
00:03:36,043 --> 00:03:37,147
Yes, it is.
115
00:03:37,286 --> 00:03:40,012
Book of Jimmy Dean,
chapter 3, verse 12.
116
00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:42,291
Oh, like you're
Cardinal Cushing.
117
00:03:42,429 --> 00:03:43,947
Oh, boy,
it's like a knife
118
00:03:44,085 --> 00:03:45,742
being shoved down
my esophagus.
119
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,297
It's like
broken shards of glass,
120
00:03:48,435 --> 00:03:49,953
like swallowing
the whole glass.
121
00:03:50,091 --> 00:03:52,473
Like a gunnysack of ouch
is surrounding--
122
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:53,819
Oh, my god.
Tea, okay?
123
00:03:53,957 --> 00:03:55,235
Sweetie,
this is something.
124
00:03:55,373 --> 00:03:57,858
This is no kidding around.
I'm calling Dr. Hazelkorn.
125
00:03:57,996 --> 00:03:59,480
It's a sore throat.
Drink your tea
126
00:03:59,618 --> 00:04:01,206
and don't talk
for eight seconds.
127
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:03,898
Mmm. Hi.
This is Paul Buchman.
128
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,072
Here's the situation.
129
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:06,901
I can no longer swallow.
130
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,041
Oh, it's like hot lava.
131
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,905
It's like
a sword swallower's
132
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:12,286
first day on the job.
133
00:04:12,424 --> 00:04:15,841
You know, like, picture
a thousand nails--
134
00:04:15,979 --> 00:04:18,741
I'm just trying
to give you a sense.
135
00:04:18,879 --> 00:04:20,639
Wednesday?
Next Wednesday.
136
00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:22,054
That's kind of a--
137
00:04:22,192 --> 00:04:25,541
Here's the--it's like
rusted barbed wire
138
00:04:25,679 --> 00:04:28,406
being just pushed down
my windpipe--
139
00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:31,236
Tomorrow?
Well, that's better but I--
140
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:34,239
To be honest--
Picture hot bacon grease
141
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:36,414
if they're pouring it
down in your raw gullet
142
00:04:36,552 --> 00:04:39,002
and you get burning--
I'll be right over, thank you.
143
00:04:41,591 --> 00:04:44,284
[♪♪♪]
144
00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:47,942
[GURGLES]
145
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,290
Did you just say,
"You've got mail?"
146
00:04:51,636 --> 00:04:52,533
Hey!
147
00:04:52,671 --> 00:04:54,017
Hey.
148
00:04:54,155 --> 00:04:55,985
Guess what I am?
What are you?
149
00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:58,884
You are looking
at a little miss mentor.
150
00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:00,817
I don't know what
you're saying to me.
151
00:05:00,955 --> 00:05:02,957
It's like big sisters.
I've been selected
152
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:05,305
to give valuable life guidance
to a little girl.
153
00:05:05,443 --> 00:05:07,099
How in the world
did they select you?
154
00:05:07,237 --> 00:05:09,032
I stole your résumé
and put my name on it.
155
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,689
Lisa!
That Yale thing you did,
156
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,104
I really get that now.
157
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,175
Oops.
158
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,211
Oops?
159
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,246
Emily.
160
00:05:16,385 --> 00:05:17,420
You left her in the hall?
161
00:05:17,558 --> 00:05:19,940
She has to learn
to love herself.
162
00:05:21,838 --> 00:05:23,150
Emily, this is Jamie.
163
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:24,600
Hi, Jamie.
Hi, Emily.
164
00:05:24,738 --> 00:05:26,636
It's nice to meet you.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
165
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,120
Excuse me, Emily,
one second.
166
00:05:28,258 --> 00:05:29,605
Ok, Emily,
we have a big day, okay?
167
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:30,916
We need energy food.
168
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:32,055
Do you have doughnuts?
169
00:05:32,193 --> 00:05:33,298
Hello. Hi.
170
00:05:33,436 --> 00:05:35,231
Never mind.
We'll figure it out.
171
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,198
Whenever you go
to a person's house,
172
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,408
you always take
their doughnuts.
173
00:05:39,546 --> 00:05:42,203
So, what did they say,
you gonna pull through?
174
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,137
Oh, my god?
You're kidding? Today?
175
00:05:45,275 --> 00:05:47,726
Oh, my god. Okay.
176
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:50,142
I'll be right there.
177
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,765
Come on, you cute thing,
178
00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:53,767
we're gonna go see daddy
in the hospital.
179
00:05:53,905 --> 00:05:55,251
He has to have
his tonsils out.
180
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:57,460
[GURGLES]
181
00:05:57,598 --> 00:06:00,118
[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]
182
00:06:00,256 --> 00:06:03,708
[♪♪♪]
183
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:06,055
Oh, sweetie.
184
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:07,367
Hello.
185
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:09,610
Oh, look at you.
Are you okay?
186
00:06:09,748 --> 00:06:11,267
Mm-hmm.
Oh,
187
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,062
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
188
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,064
I didn't know
you were really sick.
189
00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:16,272
How could you know?
190
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,136
I'm sorry I told you
to suck it up.
191
00:06:18,274 --> 00:06:19,379
Forget it.
192
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:21,726
I'm sorry I brought
you tea only grudgingly.
193
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:24,798
Didn't even pick that up.
194
00:06:24,936 --> 00:06:26,834
Tell me what you need,
is there anything
195
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:28,249
I can do for you?
196
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:31,632
You'll be happy to know
I'm in excellent hands here.
197
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,358
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
198
00:06:33,496 --> 00:06:35,981
You really shouldn't
be making him talk.
199
00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:38,156
That really hurts,
doesn't it?
200
00:06:41,884 --> 00:06:44,127
[SLURPING]
201
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:54,103
Oh, those great big tonsils
can be painful.
202
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:55,794
And you've got
the biggest tonsils
203
00:06:55,932 --> 00:06:57,382
I've ever seen,
heh, heh.
204
00:07:01,524 --> 00:07:04,147
Oh, this is Jamie
and Mabel over there.
205
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:05,286
Hi, I'm his--
206
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,081
Hello, Mabel.
207
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:09,636
[GIGGLES, COOS]
208
00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:13,156
Oh, you were right.
She is adorable.
209
00:07:13,294 --> 00:07:15,400
I heard about you too.
210
00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,608
You did?
211
00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:18,852
You know,
I really can't blame you
212
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:20,854
for not noticing
little medical things,
213
00:07:20,992 --> 00:07:22,649
being so busy and all.
214
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:24,340
Honey I had to talk
about something
215
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,548
during the sponge bath.
216
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,278
I picked these out
just for you.
217
00:07:31,416 --> 00:07:33,591
Anything strike
your fancy?
218
00:07:33,729 --> 00:07:36,145
[HUMMING]
219
00:07:46,086 --> 00:07:47,570
I'll be right back.
220
00:07:47,708 --> 00:07:48,606
All right, listen--
221
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:50,331
[WHISPERS]
You know, I really think
222
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,609
he needs his rest now.
223
00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:53,507
[WHISPERS]
I really think
I knew that.
224
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,133
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
That's the fastest
I ever hated anyone.
225
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,341
She's a godsend.
226
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,929
All right.
227
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,138
I get it. All right?
228
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,381
What?
If I won't help you,
229
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:06,865
the pretty girl will.
I get it.
230
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:08,557
Good.
So skit over?
231
00:08:08,695 --> 00:08:09,903
No.
232
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:12,284
Paul, you poor guy,
your tonsils.
233
00:08:12,422 --> 00:08:14,148
I feel so terrible.
Are you gonna be okay?
234
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,598
I hope so. Bye.
235
00:08:15,736 --> 00:08:17,462
That's called,
"Showing your face."
236
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,499
Who-who's
The little girl?
237
00:08:19,637 --> 00:08:21,259
Lisa's protégé.
238
00:08:21,397 --> 00:08:22,536
Why?
239
00:08:22,674 --> 00:08:25,228
Paulie, Paulie, Paulie,
look at you.
240
00:08:25,366 --> 00:08:26,644
Splinky,
is this something?
241
00:08:26,782 --> 00:08:29,301
What are you, like, 40 now
and getting your tonsils out?
242
00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:30,579
So?
243
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:32,891
No, it's cool there's
a six-year-old next door
244
00:08:33,029 --> 00:08:34,341
with an enlarged prostate.
245
00:08:34,479 --> 00:08:36,757
Hi, Paulie.
Mommy's here.
246
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:38,207
Okay, I'm officially seven.
247
00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:39,242
How do you feel?
248
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:41,382
Shh. Don't talk.
249
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,798
What did they say?
250
00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:44,593
Shh. Don't talk.
251
00:08:44,731 --> 00:08:46,146
Who is this doctor,
and why
252
00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:47,906
didn't you
call Dr. Fishman?
253
00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,425
Shh. Don't talk.
254
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:50,944
[MABEL BABBLING]
255
00:08:51,082 --> 00:08:52,221
Oh!
256
00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:54,982
My angel,
ha-ha-ha!
257
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:57,916
Come here, come here,
Come here, come here.
258
00:08:58,054 --> 00:09:00,229
Ma, she's there.
259
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:04,267
Mrs. Roycroft's granddaughter
said her first word.
260
00:09:04,405 --> 00:09:05,924
We're hoping soon,
Sylvia.
261
00:09:06,062 --> 00:09:07,995
You know what Paulie's
first word was?
262
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,065
Mama.
263
00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:10,826
Shocking.
264
00:09:10,964 --> 00:09:13,863
Can you say "grandma?"
265
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:15,727
Mabel, can you say
"truck?"
266
00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:17,487
Can you say "truck?"
267
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:20,111
Truck? Who gives
a girl a truck?
268
00:09:20,249 --> 00:09:22,769
It's a brave
new world, Aunt Syl.
269
00:09:22,907 --> 00:09:24,771
When I was a kid,
I had my tonsils out.
270
00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:25,979
Everybody ate ice cream.
271
00:09:26,117 --> 00:09:27,152
Me, too.
272
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,844
Maybe we should
get ice cream after.
273
00:09:28,982 --> 00:09:30,777
Do you want Haäagen-Dazs
or Ben & Jerry's?
274
00:09:30,915 --> 00:09:32,537
Haäagen-Dazs is
around the corner.
275
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:33,987
Oh, but Ben & Jerry's,
my god.
276
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,367
Starbucks java chip.
277
00:09:35,505 --> 00:09:36,817
[ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
278
00:09:36,955 --> 00:09:39,786
Hello, hello!
Surgery.
279
00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:42,374
It's almost time.
280
00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,860
Now, I know you're
probably scared,
281
00:09:44,998 --> 00:09:47,172
but don't you worry
that handsome head.
282
00:09:47,310 --> 00:09:49,796
With the anesthesia,
you won't feel a thing.
283
00:09:49,934 --> 00:09:51,452
And when it's over
and you wake up,
284
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,695
I'll be there.
285
00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:54,732
Oh, thank god.
286
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,354
You're such
a pretty girl.
287
00:09:56,492 --> 00:09:57,873
I wish I had
another son.
288
00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,737
[BOTH LAUGH]
289
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:01,566
Sweetie?
Yeah.
290
00:10:01,704 --> 00:10:05,294
Listen, I want your face
to be the last thing I see,
291
00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:07,123
Just in case, you know?
292
00:10:07,261 --> 00:10:08,573
What just in case?
293
00:10:08,711 --> 00:10:10,230
Listen, with
general anesthesia
294
00:10:10,368 --> 00:10:11,990
you never know
anything could hap--
295
00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:14,544
[TUTTING]
Those words never
came outta your mouth.
296
00:10:14,683 --> 00:10:17,064
It's a long shot,
you have to acknowledge--
297
00:10:17,202 --> 00:10:18,618
It's time,
Mr. Buchman.
298
00:10:18,756 --> 00:10:21,206
Okay, it's time.
Thank you, Gino.
299
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:23,208
All right,
here we go.
300
00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:24,796
[GROANS]
301
00:10:24,934 --> 00:10:25,935
You okay?
302
00:10:26,073 --> 00:10:27,937
I always make that noise.
Oh.
303
00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:30,077
Okay, Paulie, here we go
right this way.
304
00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:32,459
You know something?
You're gonna be just fine.
305
00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:34,668
And then you're gonna
play with your daughter
306
00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:37,567
and her truck.
Can you say "truck"?
307
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:41,710
"Truck"? Come on,
say it, Mabel, "truck."
308
00:10:41,848 --> 00:10:43,125
MABEL:
Schmuck!
309
00:10:44,678 --> 00:10:45,921
Oh, my god.
310
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:47,336
Sweetie,
she spoke.
311
00:10:47,474 --> 00:10:48,578
MABEL:
Schmuck.
312
00:10:48,717 --> 00:10:50,028
Yeah,
that's the good news.
313
00:10:50,166 --> 00:10:51,996
The bad news is she's grounded.
[DINGS]
314
00:10:53,342 --> 00:10:54,584
Schmuck.
IRA: Oy.
315
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:56,069
Schmuck.
316
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:58,968
I can't tell this
to Mrs. Roycroft.
317
00:10:59,106 --> 00:11:00,245
Aunt Syl,
it'’ll be fine.
318
00:11:00,383 --> 00:11:02,351
Undo this.
319
00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:04,249
Can you say "mama"?
320
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:05,423
Schmuck.
321
00:11:05,561 --> 00:11:07,114
It's hard
not to take it personally
322
00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:08,702
when she's looking
right at you.
323
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,497
Mr. Buchman,
the doctor is waiting.
324
00:11:10,635 --> 00:11:12,741
Yeah, okay.
Would everybody just excuse me?
325
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,915
I'd like a minute alone
with my wife, please.
326
00:11:15,053 --> 00:11:16,641
What is it?
Schmuck.
327
00:11:16,779 --> 00:11:18,022
I just--
328
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,231
I just want
to say something to you.
329
00:11:20,369 --> 00:11:23,303
Should anything happen--
I mean, I know it won't,
330
00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:25,685
but better safe than sorry.
331
00:11:25,823 --> 00:11:27,031
What is it?
332
00:11:27,169 --> 00:11:28,895
I--
[EXHALES]
333
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:31,207
I want you to know...
334
00:11:31,345 --> 00:11:34,245
that you are
the single greatest blessing
335
00:11:34,383 --> 00:11:35,798
I have ever received.
336
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:39,629
I mean, I don't know why
we're put here on this Earth.
337
00:11:39,768 --> 00:11:41,942
I don't know
what they want from us.
338
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,083
Except, I have always known
339
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:48,466
that I am supposed to be
by your side
340
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:53,091
and taking care of you
and having a family with you
341
00:11:53,229 --> 00:11:55,542
and making you happy.
342
00:11:57,268 --> 00:12:01,859
I-In a universe that's,
like, 99 percent disappointment,
343
00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:05,345
You...you are
the one sure thing.
344
00:12:05,483 --> 00:12:09,314
You are the proof
that life is good.
345
00:12:09,452 --> 00:12:11,523
You are my life.
346
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:15,148
What the hell's
the matter with you?
347
00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:16,494
Hmm?
348
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:18,358
How could
you do this to me?
349
00:12:18,496 --> 00:12:19,704
What?
350
00:12:19,842 --> 00:12:21,602
They're gonna operate
in four seconds,
351
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,294
you give me a speech
like that?
352
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:24,916
Just a sec--
I was fine.
353
00:12:25,054 --> 00:12:26,159
I know that.
354
00:12:26,297 --> 00:12:28,299
It's a tonsillectomy,
for crying out loud.
355
00:12:28,437 --> 00:12:30,473
I was going to the cafeteria
to have a sandwich
356
00:12:30,611 --> 00:12:32,717
now I think I'll just
pace a hole in the floor.
357
00:12:32,855 --> 00:12:34,615
It was just in case,
like cautionary--
358
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,134
Well, thank you very much.
359
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,240
It's a hypothetical,
in case. In case-ily.
360
00:12:38,378 --> 00:12:40,069
Mr. Buchman,
we really have to go.
361
00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:41,795
You go
enjoy yourself.
362
00:12:41,933 --> 00:12:43,072
I can'’t, honey--
363
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:45,178
I'll just be here
grinding my teeth to dust.
364
00:12:45,316 --> 00:12:46,351
Schmuck!
You said it.
365
00:12:46,489 --> 00:12:47,456
But, honey--
366
00:12:47,594 --> 00:12:49,182
This was a very hostile
thing to do.
367
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,700
Hostile?
How was that hostile?
368
00:12:50,839 --> 00:12:52,875
I'’m saying!
369
00:12:55,050 --> 00:12:57,673
[♪♪♪]
370
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,640
Can you say "hand?:"
Huh?
371
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,332
Please? "Hand."
Schmuck!
372
00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:03,368
Can you say "Jell-O?"
Schmuck.
373
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:05,267
Mabel! Okay, can you say
374
00:13:05,405 --> 00:13:07,441
Lillian B. Saltzman
Memorial Corridor?
375
00:13:07,579 --> 00:13:09,374
Schmuck.
James?
376
00:13:09,512 --> 00:13:11,238
Keep working.
377
00:13:11,376 --> 00:13:12,930
Come on...
378
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:18,073
[♪♪♪]
379
00:13:27,496 --> 00:13:28,531
Oh, hello.
380
00:13:28,669 --> 00:13:29,774
Oh, hi.
381
00:13:29,912 --> 00:13:31,672
What a beautiful baby.
382
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,847
Yes.
Schmuck!
383
00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,193
Oh, my.
384
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:36,194
I'm sorry.
385
00:13:36,332 --> 00:13:37,368
Schmuck!
386
00:13:37,506 --> 00:13:39,128
Is there something
I can do for you?
387
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:41,855
Uh, no, not really.
But thank you.
388
00:13:41,993 --> 00:13:43,615
Okay.
389
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,309
You know...actually,
you know what?
390
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:48,448
Yes?
391
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:49,759
Sell me.
392
00:13:49,898 --> 00:13:51,209
I'’m sorry?
393
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:54,109
I mean, I am not
a religious man.
394
00:13:54,247 --> 00:13:55,869
No disrespect,
but you know,
395
00:13:56,007 --> 00:13:57,250
I got a business
that I run,
396
00:13:57,388 --> 00:13:58,492
and I date
a little bit.
397
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,425
And, you know,
I'm curious,
398
00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,220
and if you could
maybe sell me,
399
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:03,566
that would be great.
400
00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:05,534
Well, that's really
not something I do.
401
00:14:05,672 --> 00:14:06,880
Oh.
402
00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:09,124
What is your...
pardon my ignorance,
403
00:14:09,262 --> 00:14:11,712
but what is your
conglomeration?
404
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,645
I sort of represent
everybody.
405
00:14:13,783 --> 00:14:15,268
Oh.
406
00:14:15,406 --> 00:14:17,339
That's wild, you know,
I actually...
407
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:19,203
I've actually
never prayed.
408
00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:20,549
Would you like to?
409
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:22,206
It's all right?
410
00:14:22,344 --> 00:14:23,586
Absolutely.
411
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:26,141
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Okay, good.
412
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,732
[SIGHS]
413
00:14:32,768 --> 00:14:36,082
Hello,
and thanks for coming.
414
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:39,223
Uh...
415
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:41,156
You know,
I would like, please,
416
00:14:41,294 --> 00:14:42,709
if it's no trouble,
417
00:14:42,847 --> 00:14:45,850
health and happiness
for my entire family.
418
00:14:45,988 --> 00:14:51,269
World peace, please,
and an end to all suffering.
419
00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:54,548
That would be nice. Um...
420
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,620
I would also like to meet
a nice woman,
421
00:14:57,758 --> 00:15:00,071
if you have an extra.
422
00:15:00,209 --> 00:15:02,487
Oh, oh,
and could you please
423
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:04,075
send some consistent pitching
424
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,870
for the Yankees
in the playoffs?
425
00:15:06,008 --> 00:15:09,839
And--and--and an end
to world hunger.
426
00:15:09,978 --> 00:15:11,669
Oh, and I'll tell you,
427
00:15:11,807 --> 00:15:14,948
I would love to see
South Pacificrevived again
428
00:15:15,086 --> 00:15:17,778
because, as you know,
that's one hell of a good show.
429
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,815
Oh, damn.
I just said hell.
430
00:15:19,953 --> 00:15:22,645
Oh, crap.
I just said damn.
431
00:15:22,783 --> 00:15:24,509
This is not easy.
432
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:26,166
Uh, what else? What else?
433
00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:28,444
Oh, an end to disease,
434
00:15:28,582 --> 00:15:31,620
uh, the return
of candy cigarettes?
435
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,555
I guess...
436
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:37,143
I guess that's about it.
437
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:38,420
Schmuck!
438
00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:40,422
Oh, yeah. Mabel.
439
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,907
You know, you'd get me
out of a major doghouse
440
00:15:43,045 --> 00:15:45,289
if you could clean up
Mabel's mouth.
441
00:15:45,427 --> 00:15:47,429
Yeah. That's it.
442
00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:49,155
Okay, thank you.
443
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:51,951
So, uh, hallelujah.
444
00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:54,125
Signing off.
445
00:15:54,263 --> 00:15:56,196
I rejoice in your house.
446
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,164
Thou have a nice day.
447
00:15:58,302 --> 00:16:00,787
Happy trails to you.
448
00:16:00,925 --> 00:16:02,409
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
449
00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:03,445
Hang on.
450
00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:04,825
Excuse me,
help me out here.
451
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,379
How do I end
one of these things?
452
00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:07,828
That was fine.
453
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,382
Yeah, really?
454
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:14,421
How did it go?
Is he okay?
455
00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,423
He should be
coming out of it soon.
456
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:18,425
Was everything routine?
Any surprises,
457
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:19,702
any complications?
458
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,877
Step away
from the patient, please.
459
00:16:24,224 --> 00:16:26,675
I'm sorry, but you
can't come in yet.
460
00:16:26,813 --> 00:16:28,746
But when he wakes up,
I'll be sure to tell him
461
00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:30,023
how much you cared.
462
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:31,714
Uh, Diane--
463
00:16:31,852 --> 00:16:33,578
Is it Diane?
464
00:16:33,716 --> 00:16:35,201
Yes.
Come here.
465
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:36,340
Ow!
466
00:16:36,478 --> 00:16:38,135
All right.
There you go.
467
00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:49,042
Sweetie?
468
00:16:54,151 --> 00:16:55,324
Ew.
469
00:16:58,776 --> 00:17:00,019
[SIGHS]
470
00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:32,672
Ow!
471
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,102
Oh, my god.
Don't ever die.
472
00:17:53,313 --> 00:17:55,660
Give me my Romeo.
473
00:17:57,041 --> 00:17:58,525
And when he shall die,
474
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:01,597
take him and cut him out
in little stars
475
00:18:01,735 --> 00:18:04,013
and make the face
of heaven so fine
476
00:18:04,152 --> 00:18:05,946
that all the world
will be in love
477
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,810
with night.
478
00:18:07,948 --> 00:18:10,123
Did I ever tell you
I played Juliet
479
00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:11,642
in the fifth grade?
480
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,299
I did.
481
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:16,233
Opposite
Steven Palumbo's Romeo.
482
00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:18,580
Oy. What an actor
he was.
483
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,685
He started crying
during my monologue
484
00:18:20,823 --> 00:18:22,273
when he was supposed
to be dead,
485
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:24,310
because he said I was
leaning on his arm.
486
00:18:27,244 --> 00:18:29,246
Oh, my god.
Don't ever die.
487
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:33,077
I have so much more
to tell you,
488
00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:34,837
and I'm not interested
in telling it
489
00:18:34,975 --> 00:18:36,287
to anyone else.
490
00:18:36,425 --> 00:18:38,600
And I'm not saying
I'd be helpless.
491
00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:42,466
I mean, I'm bright
and fairly good with money.
492
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:45,641
I mean,
I guess I'm cute, right?
493
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,059
You would say,
"What, are you kidding me?
494
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,683
You, my little friend,
are a perfect example
495
00:18:52,821 --> 00:18:54,650
of beautiful."
496
00:18:54,788 --> 00:18:56,928
And so, I am.
497
00:18:58,275 --> 00:19:00,898
'Cause I am nothing more
or less than what I see
498
00:19:01,036 --> 00:19:03,383
in your eyes
when you look at me.
499
00:19:05,558 --> 00:19:09,044
Do you know how long
I waited for you?
500
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,012
My mother used to say
I was too picky,
501
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,945
or afraid of commitment
and that's why
502
00:19:14,083 --> 00:19:16,155
I was still unmarried
by the age of almost 30.
503
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:20,331
But the truth is,
I was just looking for you.
504
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:23,714
Do you know
how close I came
505
00:19:23,852 --> 00:19:28,684
to being a narrow,
cold, mistrustful woman?
506
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:30,514
You have given me a life
507
00:19:30,652 --> 00:19:33,068
so big and full
508
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,795
and good and fun.
509
00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:37,866
I don't even know
what we do, really,
510
00:19:38,004 --> 00:19:40,455
besides clean up
and complain
511
00:19:40,593 --> 00:19:42,077
and wish
we were sleeping.
512
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,044
But with you, somehow...
513
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,701
fun.
514
00:19:47,462 --> 00:19:49,188
And I'll
tell you a secret.
515
00:19:50,603 --> 00:19:52,260
When we got married,
516
00:19:52,398 --> 00:19:54,710
I couldn't imagine still
wanting to be with anyone
517
00:19:54,848 --> 00:19:56,574
all this time later.
518
00:19:57,713 --> 00:19:58,990
But I do.
519
00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:02,753
It's a miracle to me.
You...
520
00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:04,789
are a miracle.
521
00:20:06,412 --> 00:20:08,345
You've made me happy,
522
00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:10,657
which is something
I never, ever
523
00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:12,383
thought I'd be.
524
00:20:26,432 --> 00:20:27,812
Honey?
525
00:20:27,950 --> 00:20:29,676
Are you up?
526
00:20:30,815 --> 00:20:32,265
Sweetie?
527
00:20:34,647 --> 00:20:36,096
Diane?
528
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,411
What?
529
00:20:44,208 --> 00:20:45,865
[MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY]
530
00:20:46,003 --> 00:20:49,248
Remember, I used to have
that eye problem.
531
00:20:49,386 --> 00:20:52,665
Honey, no, you know,
I was clearing my throat,
532
00:20:52,803 --> 00:20:54,080
and it came out...
533
00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:55,530
[SPUTTERING]
Ga-ga-Diane.
534
00:20:55,668 --> 00:20:56,772
Oh, my ga-ga.
535
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:59,292
No, you know what
I was thinking?
536
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:02,468
Diane Sawyer did a piece
on hospitals, remember?
537
00:21:02,606 --> 00:21:05,125
Where you going?
Don't go, don't go.
538
00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,921
James, James-- Oh!
539
00:21:10,407 --> 00:21:13,651
[♪♪♪]
540
00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:20,071
So, what I'd really
like to ask, lord,
541
00:21:20,209 --> 00:21:23,834
is why do I always
have to play a chaplain?
542
00:21:23,972 --> 00:21:26,768
I mean, I can be tough.
543
00:21:26,906 --> 00:21:28,321
Watch this.
544
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:31,462
Fredo, you broke my heart.
545
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,878
You talkin' to me?
546
00:21:34,016 --> 00:21:37,226
You can't handle
the truth.
547
00:21:37,365 --> 00:21:41,334
Leave the gun,
take the cannolis.
548
00:21:41,472 --> 00:21:45,234
Get your hands off me,
you damn dirty ape!
549
00:21:45,373 --> 00:21:49,929
Soylent green is people!
550
00:21:50,067 --> 00:21:53,346
So, what do you say, lord?
551
00:21:53,484 --> 00:21:55,969
[THUNDER RUMBLES]
552
00:21:56,107 --> 00:21:57,833
Just asking.
553
00:22:04,184 --> 00:22:06,083
Closed Captioning:
Leanne Royo
37129
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