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1
00:00:05,695 --> 00:00:07,145
[EXCLAIMS]
2
00:00:07,214 --> 00:00:08,801
You okay?
3
00:00:08,870 --> 00:00:12,357
I need you to kiss me
like no man
has ever been kissed.
4
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:18,259
Nah. I've been
kissed like that.
5
00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:27,234
Done that, too.
6
00:00:27,303 --> 00:00:29,029
All right.
Come here.
7
00:00:38,969 --> 00:00:40,557
All right then.
8
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:57,333
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
9
00:00:57,402 --> 00:01:01,475
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
10
00:01:01,544 --> 00:01:03,235
♪ Let's take each other's hand
11
00:01:03,304 --> 00:01:06,411
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
12
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:10,139
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
13
00:01:10,208 --> 00:01:11,657
♪ Yeah!
14
00:01:15,937 --> 00:01:17,249
PAUL: All right,
close your eyes.
15
00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:18,837
Honey, I don't have time
for this.
16
00:01:18,906 --> 00:01:21,184
I understand.
Close your eyes.
17
00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:23,497
My eyes are closed. All right.
18
00:01:28,536 --> 00:01:30,193
Now open them.
19
00:01:34,197 --> 00:01:36,579
Why are you
dressed like that?
20
00:01:36,648 --> 00:01:39,375
I told you,
I'm doing this piece
on the milkman.
21
00:01:39,444 --> 00:01:40,790
What milkman?
22
00:01:40,859 --> 00:01:43,931
The Milkman, Pete,
the last milkman
in New York.
23
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,796
It's like the Mohican,
but with milk.
24
00:01:46,865 --> 00:01:48,418
He makes you wear that?
25
00:01:48,487 --> 00:01:50,248
Not making me.
I'm gonna be on the truck
with him all week.
26
00:01:50,317 --> 00:01:51,870
So it makes him
feel better.
27
00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:53,906
All week?Well, every night.
28
00:01:53,975 --> 00:01:55,425
Why didn't you
tell me?
29
00:01:55,494 --> 00:01:56,530
I did.
30
00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:57,945
Really?
31
00:01:58,014 --> 00:01:59,602
Possibly.
32
00:01:59,671 --> 00:02:01,742
Oh, great. What is the problem?
33
00:02:01,811 --> 00:02:03,640
Oh, I just wish
you'd said something
last night.
34
00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:06,574
We could've had sex
or a conversation
or something.
35
00:02:06,643 --> 00:02:08,542
Well,
I got two minutes.
36
00:02:08,611 --> 00:02:09,922
Well, you know,
not even enough time
for a conversation.
37
00:02:09,991 --> 00:02:12,546
But, you know what? Hey, I'm actually serious.
38
00:02:12,615 --> 00:02:14,237
What? I'll see you--
I'll see you
during the daytime.
39
00:02:14,306 --> 00:02:15,859
I have meetings
all week.
40
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,793
So, like tomorrow.
How about tomorrow
at breakfast?
41
00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:21,451
I have my presentation.
You want to have dinner
Wednesday?
42
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,522
I can't. I'm in film lab.
How about Thursday?
43
00:02:23,591 --> 00:02:25,421
Fran and I seeing
the rug people.
44
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:27,147
I saw that.
With Vincent Price.
Yeah, that was good.
45
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:29,149
They're clients. So Friday.
46
00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:31,012
I have school.
The weekend?
47
00:02:31,081 --> 00:02:32,600
I'm editing.
48
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:35,362
Well, we've had
four great years.
Thanks for everything.
49
00:02:35,431 --> 00:02:38,227
Let me see. Tuesday.
Next Tuesday,
like 5:00, 5:00 to 6:00.
50
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:39,952
Pizza.
You and me. Pizza.
51
00:02:40,021 --> 00:02:41,989
Yippee.There you go.
52
00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:45,268
How am I even gonna know
it's you?
53
00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:49,859
Because I'll be the guy
who goes like this.
54
00:02:49,928 --> 00:02:53,103
It's hard to resist a man
in uniform, isn't it? Mmm-hmm.
55
00:02:54,415 --> 00:02:56,348
Please,
don't do that.
56
00:03:01,629 --> 00:03:02,734
Good, huh? Mmm-hmm.
57
00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:03,942
You know
how many pancakes
58
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:05,564
we sell here
at Ralphy's
every year?
59
00:03:05,633 --> 00:03:07,428
Ralphy, well,
I can sure see why.
60
00:03:07,497 --> 00:03:10,983
All right,
try my clams now.
61
00:03:11,052 --> 00:03:14,470
You know what?
We're just so darn anxious
to get down to business.
62
00:03:14,539 --> 00:03:16,023
Fran and I have
worked up some ideas.
63
00:03:16,092 --> 00:03:18,405
I was thinking
that we should wait
till the kid comes in.
64
00:03:18,474 --> 00:03:21,166
What kid? This kid I hired
to do some graphics.
65
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,100
Come on, eat up.
They're double fried.Okey-dokey.
66
00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:26,999
Mmm. Mmm.
67
00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:29,416
ALAN: Hey, Ralphy. Oh, there he is. Al.
68
00:03:29,485 --> 00:03:31,625
FRAN: Oh, God.
69
00:03:31,694 --> 00:03:33,868
Uh, Alan Tofsky,
this is...Jamie.
70
00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:35,353
Alan. Hi.
71
00:03:35,422 --> 00:03:36,940
You two
know each other? Yeah.
72
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,805
Oh, sure. We've, uh,
we've worked together before.
73
00:03:39,874 --> 00:03:41,117
And stuff. Hi, Fran.
74
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:42,705
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
75
00:03:42,774 --> 00:03:44,914
Hey, you want a lobster? Sure. Sure.
76
00:03:44,983 --> 00:03:46,709
Good. Have a seat.
77
00:03:51,852 --> 00:03:53,474
So, how are you?Good.
78
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:56,063
Me, too.Good.
79
00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:58,272
Hey, my-- my comic book's
getting published
this week.
80
00:03:58,341 --> 00:03:59,446
Really? Yeah. Yeah.
81
00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:01,413
The advance word's
been incredible.
82
00:04:01,482 --> 00:04:03,277
They're already talking
about animated series,
83
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:05,072
and action figures,
and trading cards.
84
00:04:05,141 --> 00:04:06,694
I can't believe
you did this.
85
00:04:06,763 --> 00:04:09,628
I--I...
I didn't know.
86
00:04:09,697 --> 00:04:11,389
Yeah. Just like
you didn't know
about that time
87
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,840
we were supposed to feed
Jim and Bonita's cat.
88
00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:16,359
I told you,
I never got that message.
89
00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:20,294
Yeah, that doesn't bring
the cat back, does it?
90
00:04:20,363 --> 00:04:22,227
I can't believe
you're still
carrying that around.
91
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,160
All right. Heads or tails?What are you
talking about?
92
00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:26,542
Well, obviously, you two
can't work together.
Alan, call it.
93
00:04:26,611 --> 00:04:28,544
Fran, we're fine.
Eat some clams.
94
00:04:28,613 --> 00:04:29,993
I'm not carrying
anything around.
95
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,409
Good. Good.
96
00:04:33,134 --> 00:04:34,377
How's Ken?
97
00:04:34,446 --> 00:04:35,792
Who?
98
00:04:35,861 --> 00:04:37,346
Your husband...
99
00:04:37,415 --> 00:04:38,554
Paul.
100
00:04:38,623 --> 00:04:40,210
Paul.
How's-- How's Paul?
101
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,868
He's-- He's wonderful.
How's Maria?
102
00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:45,285
My maid? Whatever. How is she?
103
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,564
She's fine. Give me the pie.
104
00:04:48,633 --> 00:04:50,566
Okay. What have you kids
got for me?
105
00:04:50,635 --> 00:04:53,776
All righty. We've focused
the campaign on you, Ralphy.
106
00:04:53,845 --> 00:04:56,537
We believe that the more
you personalize a campaign,
107
00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:57,952
the more people
will feel comfortable
108
00:04:58,021 --> 00:04:59,540
coming to your place
for dinner.
109
00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:01,439
So we put your face
out there.
110
00:05:01,508 --> 00:05:04,545
People know you
and they--
they like you. What?
111
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,651
What?
112
00:05:07,376 --> 00:05:09,136
You're breathing.
113
00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:11,241
Yeah.
114
00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:14,037
Never mind. Okay.
115
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,833
Anyway, Howard Johnson,
Colonel Sanders, Ralphy...
116
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,180
Okay, nobody hears that
but me?
117
00:05:20,009 --> 00:05:21,735
I have sinuses.
118
00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:23,668
Yeah, it's funny
how they only flare up
when he has something to say.
119
00:05:23,737 --> 00:05:25,290
I don't-- I don't have
anything to say.
120
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:26,878
Guys. Okay. Never mind. So...
121
00:05:26,947 --> 00:05:28,845
I would just, maybe,
consider perhaps
122
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,744
going a slightly
different way.
123
00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:33,125
What way? Well...
124
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:34,403
A puppy.
125
00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:36,646
A puppy?
126
00:05:36,715 --> 00:05:38,510
Exactly.
127
00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:40,063
Yeah. We want it
to say Ralphy. Well, he could say Ralphy.
128
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,927
He's a dog.
How can he say Ralphy?
129
00:05:41,996 --> 00:05:43,135
I don't know.
130
00:05:43,204 --> 00:05:44,654
R-r-r-ralphy!
131
00:05:45,586 --> 00:05:47,139
Ralphy!
132
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:48,486
What? What?
133
00:05:48,555 --> 00:05:50,591
Guys.I just don't see why
Ralphy can't say Ralphy?
134
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,904
Ralphy can say Ralphy.
I just think it might be
better "Ralphy!"
135
00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,837
Okay. Let's leave it
up to Ralphy.
136
00:05:54,906 --> 00:05:56,286
Okay. Okay. Okay.
137
00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:59,324
Uh, whatever
you kids decide.
138
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,153
I'm gonna go get you
some beets.
139
00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:02,292
And some pudding?
140
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,881
Yeah, not pudding.
How about pudding?
141
00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:11,854
[YAWNING]
142
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:22,036
[ALARM CLOCK RINGING]
143
00:06:25,143 --> 00:06:26,800
Good morning.
144
00:06:27,628 --> 00:06:29,665
I don't feel rested
at all.
145
00:06:31,736 --> 00:06:33,013
How was your filming?
146
00:06:33,082 --> 00:06:34,635
Milky.
147
00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:37,327
What time you want me
to set the alarm for tonight?
148
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,882
I got to be back
at the dairy at 6:00.
149
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:41,987
How are you gonna
do this all week?
150
00:06:42,056 --> 00:06:44,162
It's easy.
Sleep till dinner,
151
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:45,819
and that feels
like breakfast.
152
00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,579
Then I shoot
till sunrise,
153
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:48,925
that feels
like twilight.
154
00:06:48,994 --> 00:06:51,583
I come home for breakfast,
that feels like dinner.
155
00:06:51,652 --> 00:06:54,414
And I watch
a little Regis,
feels like Leno.
156
00:06:56,519 --> 00:06:57,796
And that works?
157
00:06:57,865 --> 00:07:00,558
No. I'll be dragging
my ass all week.
158
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:03,077
Hey, dig me.
I'm Arlene Francis.
159
00:07:05,252 --> 00:07:07,392
Good night.Good night.
160
00:07:08,082 --> 00:07:09,463
[EXHALES]
161
00:07:10,809 --> 00:07:13,502
So, a funny thing
happened last night.
162
00:07:14,951 --> 00:07:16,746
[LOUDER]
So, a funny thing
happened last night.
163
00:07:16,815 --> 00:07:17,885
What?
164
00:07:17,954 --> 00:07:20,094
I ran into Alan.
165
00:07:20,163 --> 00:07:21,993
Alan--Alan...
He-who-came-before-me Alan?
166
00:07:22,062 --> 00:07:23,166
Mmm-hmm.Huh.
167
00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:24,961
Turns out
one of my clients hired him
168
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:26,273
to do some
graphic design,
169
00:07:26,342 --> 00:07:27,516
so we're gonna be
working together.
170
00:07:27,585 --> 00:07:29,449
Ah, that's funny, huh?
171
00:07:31,623 --> 00:07:34,281
You don't have
a problem with that?What?
172
00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:36,041
Just want to make sure
you're okay with that.
173
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:38,181
Sure. Really?
174
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,459
Yeah.
175
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:44,533
Because if you do
have a problem... All right.
176
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,157
Just look me
in the eye
177
00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:50,470
and tell me
you don't have
a problem with it.
178
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,786
I don't have
a problem with that.
179
00:07:56,855 --> 00:07:58,098
Why not?
180
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,583
Because I love you,
and I trust you,
181
00:08:00,652 --> 00:08:03,034
and I haven't slept
in 42 hours.
182
00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:04,553
All right. All right.
I was just checking.
183
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:07,141
All right.
Pizza. Tuesday.
184
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:09,730
I will be there. All right.
185
00:08:09,799 --> 00:08:12,284
Should I have
a problem with this? Thank you.
186
00:08:15,149 --> 00:08:17,013
Okay. Ralphy's...
187
00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,877
[BARKING] Or Ralphy's?
188
00:08:18,946 --> 00:08:20,500
Where you gonna eat?
189
00:08:20,569 --> 00:08:23,606
What about Chinese food? That's not an option.
190
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:26,540
Chinese sounds good. Would you just
answer the question?
191
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:27,783
I like the dog.
192
00:08:27,852 --> 00:08:29,681
I like
the bald guy.
193
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,752
FRAN: Come on, you guys,
why don't we use them both?
194
00:08:31,821 --> 00:08:33,236
That's a good idea.
We'll just forget the dog.
195
00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:34,479
[EXCLAIMS]Oh, it was worth a shot.
196
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,550
Can you just
give it a try?
197
00:08:36,619 --> 00:08:38,379
Well, I'll go
start up some drawings.
198
00:08:38,448 --> 00:08:39,484
All right,
I'll write up the copy.
199
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:40,899
I'm gonna go lie down.
200
00:08:40,968 --> 00:08:42,556
See, we're doing great.
201
00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:44,834
Hey, we're doing fine.
202
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:47,665
I'll call you later.All right.
203
00:08:47,734 --> 00:08:50,219
See, would you like to admit
that you were wrong?
204
00:08:50,288 --> 00:08:51,461
LISA: About what? Me and Alan.
205
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,360
We are working
together beautifully.
206
00:08:53,429 --> 00:08:55,742
Yeah, just like Fishy
and Mr. Carmen.
207
00:08:55,811 --> 00:08:57,053
Who?
208
00:08:57,122 --> 00:08:58,261
My guppies.
209
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,091
One minute
they're swimming around
210
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,058
like the happiest
little pals on earth,
next thing you know,
211
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:05,096
Fishy is bashing
Mr. Carmen's face
into the castle.
212
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,994
When did you get fish?
213
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:09,238
That's not the point. There's a point?
214
00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,067
Yeah, you guys are
a walking time bomb.
215
00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:12,448
Lisa, that's not true.
216
00:09:12,517 --> 00:09:13,932
Tick tick tick tick.
217
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:15,796
We are completely
different people now.
218
00:09:15,865 --> 00:09:18,488
Our lives are
totally different.
I have my life. He has his.
219
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,283
I have my business.
He has his comic book.
220
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,700
I have Paul.
He has no one.
221
00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:23,873
What comic book?
222
00:09:23,942 --> 00:09:26,117
Uh, Megasomething.
223
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:29,120
Hold on just
a cotton pickin' minute.
224
00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:31,363
Alan is Alan Tofsky? Yeah.
225
00:09:31,432 --> 00:09:33,952
Mega VoidAlan Tofsky? That's it.
226
00:09:34,021 --> 00:09:36,230
Wow. What?
227
00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:39,095
My friend Mikey
over at Mikey's says
that it's gonna be huge.
228
00:09:39,164 --> 00:09:41,995
What's Mikey's?It's a comic book joint
over on 6th.
229
00:09:42,064 --> 00:09:44,411
Would they have
this thing there now? If there's any left.
230
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,069
James, I'm telling you,
it's like they're saying
bigger than X-Men.
231
00:09:47,138 --> 00:09:49,105
All right. You know
what I'm gonna do?
232
00:09:49,174 --> 00:09:51,280
I'm gonna go buy a copy,
have it framed and
give it to Alan as a present.
233
00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:52,522
What do you say to that?
234
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,904
Tick tick tick tick. Oh, fine.
235
00:09:54,973 --> 00:09:56,941
Hey, I'll walk you over.
236
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:59,115
Hey, what about me? What about you?
237
00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:00,738
I don't know.
238
00:10:08,021 --> 00:10:10,748
You know, I heard
the real Spider-Man
died in Vietnam.
239
00:10:12,025 --> 00:10:13,889
What real
Spider-Man?
240
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:16,719
Why do you always
question me?
241
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,238
Hey, hey, hey,
look at this.
242
00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:19,688
I told you
it was big.
243
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:20,792
Good for him.
244
00:10:20,861 --> 00:10:22,863
Ira.Hey, Mikey.
245
00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:24,416
James, Lisa,
this is Mikey.
246
00:10:24,485 --> 00:10:26,349
Hello. Yeah.
247
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,179
We've met,
haven't we?
248
00:10:28,248 --> 00:10:30,077
I don't think so.
249
00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:31,631
Huh.
250
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:34,392
Do you know where
we can we find Mega Void?First rack.
251
00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:36,049
Next to The Vulcans,
right? Thanks.
252
00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,707
You know, we got
Alan Tofsky in
for a signing tomorrow.
253
00:10:38,776 --> 00:10:40,881
Yeah. Good for you.
254
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,503
[CHUCKLING]
255
00:10:42,572 --> 00:10:45,092
Oh, Jughead,
what have you done now?
256
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,963
I have nephews.
257
00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:56,932
IRA: Look at this.
258
00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:59,486
Mega Void One,
Talon Emerges
From Her Crypt.
259
00:10:59,555 --> 00:11:01,868
Who's Talon? Huh?
260
00:11:01,937 --> 00:11:03,973
Near as I can tell,
the evil queen
of the universe.
261
00:11:04,042 --> 00:11:06,251
Let me see. No, it's not that hot.
262
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,839
Hey, let's go
get Chinese.
263
00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:09,772
Chinese. That sounds good. What is the matter
with you two?
264
00:11:09,841 --> 00:11:11,671
Hey, look at this.
265
00:11:12,741 --> 00:11:13,949
Oh.
266
00:11:40,596 --> 00:11:42,874
Wow.I know.
267
00:11:42,943 --> 00:11:44,324
Queen Talon.
268
00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:46,222
She's just evil.
269
00:11:47,914 --> 00:11:51,020
That's got to hurt.
270
00:11:51,089 --> 00:11:54,921
I mean, all he did was
ask not to be used
as breeding stock.
271
00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:57,130
This is not good.
272
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:58,579
Tell me about it.
273
00:11:58,648 --> 00:11:59,857
Here's what I think.
274
00:11:59,926 --> 00:12:01,721
I'm her husband.
You're her best friend. So?
275
00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,412
So, I'm gonna leave town
276
00:12:03,481 --> 00:12:05,310
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] and you call me the minute
she's over this.
277
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:07,071
Forget about it.
278
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:11,247
Why would she wear
a bathing suit
to an execution?
279
00:12:11,316 --> 00:12:13,077
That's not
a bathing suit,
it's a thing.
280
00:12:13,146 --> 00:12:14,354
It's like
a combination
281
00:12:14,423 --> 00:12:16,943
breastplate,
force field
kind of...
282
00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:19,117
You know,
thongy thing.
283
00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:21,395
It's functional,
yet fabulous.
284
00:12:22,396 --> 00:12:23,466
Hi. Hi.
285
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,917
How you doing? Great. Oh, you saw it.
286
00:12:25,986 --> 00:12:27,677
Yeah. Aren't I evil?
287
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,679
Well, I wouldn't say evil
exactly. Honey, come on.
288
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,096
I mean,
a little testy maybe.Please, I'm pretty bad.
289
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,408
You know what, sweetie? I got recognized
at school today.
290
00:12:34,477 --> 00:12:36,203
Really? All the way
across the quad.
291
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:38,758
"Talon, Talon, Talon!"
292
00:12:40,138 --> 00:12:41,657
You aren't bothered
by this?
293
00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:43,176
No. There was
that one sophomore
I dismembered,
294
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:45,419
but what the heck,
a girl's got to eat.
295
00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:48,457
Guys, come on.
I'm kidding.
296
00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:50,631
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine.
297
00:12:53,186 --> 00:12:54,843
I wonder how
Cat Woman's husband
would deal with this.
298
00:12:54,912 --> 00:12:56,327
Talk to her!
299
00:12:56,396 --> 00:12:58,674
Sweetie? You know what?
You seem a little upset.
300
00:12:58,743 --> 00:13:00,469
What did I just say?
301
00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:02,022
Yeah, all right.
Very good.
302
00:13:02,091 --> 00:13:03,334
Do you-- Do you
want me to go
hit this guy?
303
00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:04,542
Oh, for what?
304
00:13:04,611 --> 00:13:07,579
Was the Mona Lisa
upset at Da Vinci?
305
00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:10,065
Granted she never
crushed a planet
between her thighs,
306
00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:12,239
but, then again,
how do I know that?
Maybe she did.
307
00:13:12,308 --> 00:13:14,241
Maybe that's why
she was smiling.
308
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:15,967
Honey, it's a joke.
I'm fine.
309
00:13:16,036 --> 00:13:18,970
If I weren't fine,
could I be
this funny?
310
00:13:19,039 --> 00:13:20,489
Okay, here's what.
311
00:13:20,558 --> 00:13:22,456
Alan always had
to have the last word,
and this is it.
312
00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:24,424
He didn't always
have to publish it,
313
00:13:24,493 --> 00:13:26,184
but if this is
what he had to,
this is what he had to do.
314
00:13:26,253 --> 00:13:27,461
I'm fine.
315
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:30,016
Do we have any yogurt? I think we're all out.
316
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:32,742
How can we be "out"?
I thought you were a milkman.
317
00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:36,712
You go. You go.
318
00:13:36,781 --> 00:13:38,576
[GROANS]
319
00:13:38,645 --> 00:13:40,716
Okay, sweetie,
don't do this... What?
320
00:13:40,785 --> 00:13:43,719
The "fine" thing.
I've seen this on you.
It's not pretty.
321
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:45,238
All right, what
would you like me to do?
322
00:13:45,307 --> 00:13:47,240
Just, like, a-admit
that you're angry.
323
00:13:47,309 --> 00:13:49,483
No, no.
I'm not gonna give him
the satisfaction.
324
00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:53,142
Yeah, but he ain't here,
and I'm the one in the path
of unpleasantries.
325
00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:56,766
Well, excuse me
for trying to take
the high ground.
326
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,562
What high ground? The high ground.
327
00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:02,324
Hey, babe,
you have webbed feet.
328
00:14:02,393 --> 00:14:04,429
Only when I need them.
329
00:14:04,498 --> 00:14:05,914
Okay, still.
I--I--I don't think
it's a compliment.
330
00:14:05,983 --> 00:14:07,053
It could be. How?
331
00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:09,676
Because I say so
and I can melt you.
332
00:14:10,711 --> 00:14:13,024
All right.
Hey, don't eat now.
333
00:14:13,093 --> 00:14:14,923
Why not?What day is it?
334
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,131
Tuesday. What time is it?
335
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,995
I don't know. It's 4:45.
336
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:19,582
Yeah. So? So?
337
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:20,721
Pizza date.
338
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,171
Oh, I'm really not
in the mood.
339
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,793
Too bad.
We wrote it down.
340
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,554
Come on,
want to call Carbone's?
341
00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:27,556
No. That delivery guy
always wants to use
our bathroom.
342
00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,661
What is that about?
343
00:14:29,730 --> 00:14:30,904
You know, I'm just gonna
run down to the corner
and pick it up.
344
00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:32,802
All right, I'll put on
way too much cologne.
345
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,011
I'll be back
in 10 minutes.
346
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,288
All right. Fran, she's fine. Really?
347
00:14:35,357 --> 00:14:36,876
No, but it's your turn.
348
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,325
Fran, you want to
walk me to the corner?
349
00:14:38,394 --> 00:14:39,602
Sure.
350
00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,743
Hey, James.
How you doing?
351
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:44,400
Good. We're just running... Pap, pap, pap, pap, pap.
352
00:14:44,469 --> 00:14:46,955
One thing, all right?
It's totally up to you.
353
00:14:47,024 --> 00:14:48,749
But, I was talking
to this buddy of mine,
354
00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:50,682
who does these, like,
these comic book conventions,
right?
355
00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:52,753
And again,
totally up to you.
356
00:14:52,822 --> 00:14:54,790
But, if we wanted to
make extra money,
you know...
357
00:14:54,859 --> 00:14:56,274
I mean, just, you now,
taking your picture
358
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:57,586
with the people.
Stuff like that...
359
00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:58,828
No. Totally up to you.
360
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,209
I know. I know. Easy money. Really easy...
361
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:03,143
I think you should move.Okay, so you'll
think about it.
362
00:15:06,595 --> 00:15:08,114
Maybe you should
just go talk to Alan.
363
00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:10,219
I'm not gonna give him
the satisfaction.
364
00:15:10,288 --> 00:15:11,807
He wasn't home.
365
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,400
Come on, honey.
366
00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:20,022
Hank, come on.
367
00:15:21,472 --> 00:15:23,612
[SCREAMS]You coming or not?
368
00:15:29,859 --> 00:15:32,379
Do me a favor,
talk to him.
Get it off your chest.
369
00:15:32,448 --> 00:15:36,694
Which chest?
My little human chest or
my big, huge Mega Voidchest?
370
00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:38,213
James. Where is this thing?
371
00:15:38,282 --> 00:15:39,628
Paul has to leave
by 6:00.
372
00:15:39,697 --> 00:15:41,112
Hello, excuse me.
373
00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:45,323
Hey! What?
374
00:15:45,392 --> 00:15:46,738
Vinnie,
come look at this!
375
00:15:46,807 --> 00:15:48,948
How much do I owe you?
376
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,019
Who does she
remind you of?
377
00:15:52,020 --> 00:15:53,504
I don't know.
378
00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:55,092
Come on. Look.
379
00:15:57,128 --> 00:15:58,371
Hey!
380
00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,751
Okay, here's a $20.
381
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,236
Uncle Angelo,
get out here!
382
00:16:01,305 --> 00:16:03,445
Can I get my change? And bring the camera!
383
00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:04,653
You know,
I got a space open.
384
00:16:04,722 --> 00:16:07,035
Right between Alan Alda
and Brenda Vaccaro.
385
00:16:07,104 --> 00:16:08,484
Hey, look, it's Talon.
386
00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,830
Okay,
I'll see you later.
387
00:16:09,899 --> 00:16:12,523
Where are you going? To destroy my creator.
388
00:16:17,597 --> 00:16:20,220
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Just excuse me.
389
00:16:20,289 --> 00:16:21,325
Sorry. Excuse me
for one second.
390
00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:22,533
Hey, lady, there's a line.
391
00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,259
I know, I just have to...Oh!
392
00:16:24,328 --> 00:16:26,847
Sorry, your majesty.
Go ahead.
393
00:16:26,916 --> 00:16:28,401
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
394
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:29,678
Uh, A-Alan.
395
00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:30,955
Hey, you're here.
396
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,474
Yeah. Listen.
Obviously you...
397
00:16:32,543 --> 00:16:35,201
No, no, no.
I mean, no, that's
a really cool gesture.
398
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:36,685
What?
399
00:16:36,754 --> 00:16:38,066
Oh, when you think of
where we were
five years ago,
400
00:16:38,135 --> 00:16:40,137
or even last week,
and now you're coming
to my signing.
401
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:41,931
I mean, good for us, huh?
402
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,623
Good for who?
403
00:16:43,692 --> 00:16:45,797
Whom.Don't do that!
404
00:16:45,866 --> 00:16:48,973
You always did that to me.
Do you have any idea
how annoying that is?
405
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,182
All right,
what's the matter with you?
406
00:16:51,251 --> 00:16:52,597
What's the matter
with me?
407
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,116
Yeah.
Thanks for coming.
408
00:16:54,185 --> 00:16:56,429
What's the matter
with me?
409
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:58,120
Yeah. Hi.
What's your name? Hey.
410
00:16:58,189 --> 00:16:59,673
This. This is the matter
with me.What? What?
411
00:16:59,742 --> 00:17:02,642
This. Her. Her.
412
00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:03,884
She looks
a little like you.
413
00:17:03,953 --> 00:17:06,542
Yeah, that seems
to be the consensus.
414
00:17:07,612 --> 00:17:09,787
Hmm. What do you
make of that?
415
00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:14,378
Alan, please! This whole comic
is like our relationship
but in outer space!
416
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,105
Where do you
get that?
417
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:18,830
Are you kidding?
Right here!
418
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:21,281
Okay. That time that
we went to pick up
the rent-a-car,
419
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:23,042
and found out
you forgot to
make the reservation.
420
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:25,147
And you screamed at me
in front of that little family
from Georgia?
421
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,149
Fine. So then,
we turn to page 14.
422
00:17:27,218 --> 00:17:29,841
"The Centurian general
forgets to fetch
Talon's scepter,
423
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:32,603
"and she peels back
the layers of his brain!"
424
00:17:32,672 --> 00:17:34,260
Hi.
425
00:17:34,329 --> 00:17:35,744
I don't see it. Okay, great.
426
00:17:35,813 --> 00:17:37,125
Then there's that time
on the subway
427
00:17:37,194 --> 00:17:39,782
when I simply requested
that you stop humming.
428
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,751
Terrific. Now,
we turn to page 36.
429
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:44,649
"Talon rips out
the tongue of her slave
430
00:17:44,718 --> 00:17:46,824
"for singing out of tune."
431
00:17:46,893 --> 00:17:49,654
Oh. Sure, yeah.
How could I miss that?
432
00:17:49,723 --> 00:17:52,001
Are you kidding me?
It's all here!
433
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,074
I take a drink
of your orange juice
at some diner,
434
00:17:55,143 --> 00:17:57,869
she sucks the life force
from his soul.
435
00:17:57,938 --> 00:17:59,595
I accidently burn
a little hole in your sweater,
436
00:17:59,664 --> 00:18:02,357
she destroys
the planet Cardigan!
437
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,462
Face it, Alan.
You always had to
have the last word.
438
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,155
Well, you know what?
You can't.
The last word was goodbye.
439
00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:08,742
I said it to you
five years ago.
440
00:18:08,811 --> 00:18:10,089
I'm saying it again now.
441
00:18:10,158 --> 00:18:12,953
Please try to remember it
this time.
442
00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:14,921
Goodbye.No, no, no.
See that?
443
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:17,924
You're not following.
I say goodbye, not you.
444
00:18:17,993 --> 00:18:19,719
Goodbye.
445
00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:21,030
Okay.
446
00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:23,895
I said goodbye.
447
00:18:24,586 --> 00:18:25,794
See ya.
448
00:18:27,761 --> 00:18:29,487
Goodbye, Alan.
449
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:33,042
Take care.
450
00:18:38,772 --> 00:18:40,119
Goodbye.
451
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,987
Ladies and gentlemen,
Queen Talon.
452
00:18:47,056 --> 00:18:48,851
Move out. Move out.
453
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,474
[SCREAMS]
454
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:58,516
Where did you go?
You've been gone,
like, two hours.
455
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:01,174
Let me ask you
something.
Tell me the truth.
456
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,349
Do you think I'm evil?
457
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:05,799
No. Where is the pizza?
458
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,353
What?
459
00:19:07,422 --> 00:19:10,079
Oh. I don't know.
They were out.
460
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,427
Really. I won't be mad.
When you think about me,
461
00:19:12,496 --> 00:19:16,016
do you think
I'm basically good
or basically wicked?
462
00:19:16,085 --> 00:19:18,329
The-- The first thing
you said.
463
00:19:18,398 --> 00:19:19,537
What do you mean
they were out?
464
00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:20,780
They were out. Of pizza?
465
00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:22,161
Yeah.
466
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:24,818
The pizza place
was out of pizza? Yeah.
467
00:19:24,887 --> 00:19:26,786
How could a pizza place...They just were.
468
00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:28,374
So in no way
do you see me
469
00:19:28,443 --> 00:19:32,032
as any kind of
malevolent force
of destruction?
470
00:19:32,101 --> 00:19:33,724
What're you
doing to yourself?
471
00:19:33,793 --> 00:19:37,106
I've just am
thinking about Alan
and-- and when I was with him,
472
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,489
and I don't know,
maybe I was
a little bit like that.
473
00:19:40,558 --> 00:19:43,216
I don't know you with him,
I only know you with me.
474
00:19:43,285 --> 00:19:45,391
And? I like you.
475
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:48,808
Okay?Okay.
476
00:19:48,877 --> 00:19:50,189
All right.
477
00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:53,951
So, you go
into the pizza place,
478
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,021
you say,
"I'd like to buy a pizza..."
479
00:19:55,090 --> 00:19:56,402
You have to let this go.
480
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:58,162
See, this is what I'm...
481
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,647
'Cause now I have
a hankering for pizza,
I'm all worked up for pizza,
482
00:20:00,716 --> 00:20:02,994
I have no pizza.
483
00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:05,480
Although.
Look how smart I am.
484
00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:07,723
You got your English muffins,
you got your cheese,
485
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:09,863
you got your tomato sauce.Honey,
what are you doing?
486
00:20:09,932 --> 00:20:11,175
We're gonna improvise
a little pizza.
487
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,591
It's after 6:00. I know. But we had a date.
488
00:20:13,660 --> 00:20:14,765
You have
your filming.
489
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:17,630
It's all right.
The milk will keep.
490
00:20:17,699 --> 00:20:20,080
Besides, I'd rather
be with you.
491
00:20:20,149 --> 00:20:21,565
Really? Yeah.
492
00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,291
Now, here's what you do.
It's all in the flipping.
493
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:24,637
That's what
makes the pizza, see?
494
00:20:24,706 --> 00:20:26,397
[SCATTING]
495
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:29,607
You sing a song,
a folk tune of some sort.
496
00:20:29,676 --> 00:20:31,782
[SCATTING]
497
00:20:33,991 --> 00:20:36,235
[JAMIE LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY]
498
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,688
[JAMIE'S VOICE]
All right. The party's over.
499
00:20:43,621 --> 00:20:44,829
Bye-bye.
500
00:20:47,867 --> 00:20:49,765
[ALAN'S VOICE] See? What?
501
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:50,904
Tell me
that wasn't evil.
502
00:20:50,973 --> 00:20:53,493
I'm not evil.
503
00:20:53,562 --> 00:20:55,426
Face it, babe,
you got a nasty streak.
504
00:20:56,634 --> 00:20:58,015
Actually, I'm sensitive...
505
00:20:58,084 --> 00:21:01,087
[EXCLAIMING]Caring... Insightful...
506
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:03,469
Ambitious,
but not obnoxiously so.
507
00:21:03,538 --> 00:21:05,056
Fun. Patient.
508
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,404
Do you realize
how annoying that is?
509
00:21:07,473 --> 00:21:09,233
What?
What am I doing?
510
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:12,581
You know, I like you better
when you're
passive-aggressive.
511
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:16,654
[SCREAMING]
You're overreacting!
512
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:20,969
Now, who am I gonna
have dinner with?
513
00:21:22,108 --> 00:21:23,316
[PAUL'S VOICE]
So, you through?
514
00:21:23,385 --> 00:21:24,938
Don't incur my wrath.
515
00:21:25,007 --> 00:21:26,768
[CLINKING] Oh, yeah.
I'm real scared.
516
00:21:26,837 --> 00:21:28,528
Hey, don't you want
to get out of that thing?
517
00:21:28,597 --> 00:21:30,392
Don't touch the armor.
518
00:21:30,461 --> 00:21:32,083
You know,
you're really rather cute.
519
00:21:32,152 --> 00:21:34,016
I'm not cute. I'm evil.
520
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,984
Not on my planet, babe.
521
00:21:39,436 --> 00:21:41,023
How did you do that?
522
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:43,060
Nothing to it.
523
00:21:43,129 --> 00:21:44,303
So, let me
understand this.
524
00:21:44,372 --> 00:21:45,752
You walk into
the pizza place...
525
00:21:45,821 --> 00:21:47,582
You have to
let this go.
526
00:21:52,863 --> 00:21:54,382
Yeah.
527
00:21:54,451 --> 00:21:56,936
I... Well,
let me ask her.
528
00:21:57,005 --> 00:21:58,627
My mother
wants to know,
529
00:21:58,696 --> 00:22:00,871
why would you destroy
the Province of Rivers
530
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:02,942
if you knew that
they had all the Zargon?
531
00:22:03,011 --> 00:22:05,772
Because Zargon is useless
without a silver key.
532
00:22:05,841 --> 00:22:06,946
There you go.
You hear that?
533
00:22:07,015 --> 00:22:09,880
Zargon is useless
without a silver key.
534
00:22:09,949 --> 00:22:11,468
Let me ask her.
Okay.
535
00:22:11,537 --> 00:22:13,055
Is it true that
your ability to morph
536
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:15,126
was actually a gift
from King Bannick?
537
00:22:15,195 --> 00:22:16,749
I've never even met
King Bannick.
538
00:22:16,818 --> 00:22:19,648
It's just a rumor.
She never met him.
539
00:22:19,717 --> 00:22:21,961
She never... She says...
She just told me.
540
00:22:22,030 --> 00:22:24,239
'Cause rumors... Look,
you know how rumors are.
541
00:22:24,308 --> 00:22:26,034
Rumors just...
No, King Bannick...
39048
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