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[both singing along] ? Estas son las ma�anitas ?

? Que cantaba el rey David ?

- ? Hoy por ser d�a de tu santo ? - [both mumble lyrics]

? Te las cantamos a ti ?

- ? Despierta, mi bien, despierta ??

- - You two butchered that song. - Oh, I see.

She's 30, flirty and still wearing her mouth guard.

She's a lady.

Oh, my God. Stop.

- Let the old woman sleep. - Fine.

Sol and I will go enjoy our delicious homemade

three-course breakfast without you.

- Mm. - I take it all back.

- I love you guys! - I love you!

- Happy birthday! - Ah! Thank you!

It's my birthday!

- We got her in the mouth guard. Never get... - No way.

- Oh, oh, oh. Okay, robe. - Uh-oh.

- What? - Ah, isn't it cute?

Mami and papi had it delivered for my birthday.

So, how's party prep for the big bash going?

- You know throwing a banger on a budget is my jam. - T�a Gladys is on it.

She knows I'm saving money to buy a house,

so she's assured me she's upcycling from other parties.

- Hmm. - And to not ask further questions.

- Oh. - And now,

for Lily's first gift.

- Okay. - Thank you.

This is me.

- Aw. - What? - So cute.

Oh, my God. No way.

I made this bucket list the night of my quincea�era.

It's all the fun stuff I wanted to do before I got old.

Ooh. I'll take that.

Wait. Jorgito! Wait! Jorgito.

Wait, Jorgito!

Okay. All right.

"Get a tattoo." As if.

- Ah. - "Go skinny-dipping"?

- Hmm. - Now, "learn how to drive a stick shift."

Lil, I barely trust you in an automatic.

- Mm-mm. - Hey, I could totally still do all that stuff.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. I found the best one. Sol.

Sol, you're gonna love this. Okay.

"But above all else, be real, girl."

I know how I want to spend my day.

Knocking some of this off the list

- before my party tonight. - Aw...

Who's with me?

So, seriously, who's gonna help me take care of my bucket list?

I love you, but I can't.

Henry and I are going to see the wedding planner today.

- Aw! - Yeah.

Sorry, babe, I can't either.

Charlie has a soccer game today,

and their mom is gonna be there.

Shut up.

- No way. - Wait, have you stalked her yet?

No. I didn't want to do that.

- Wait, hold up. - I di... No.

I... found her.

Oh, damn.

That's his ex?

I was gonna talk shit, but she's fine.

Stop trying to start drama.

- I'm not. - Miles is cool.

Charlie is cool. Everyone is cool.

- Okay, fine. - Wait.

If both of you are busy, who's gonna help me with my list?

Sorry, babe. Maybe abuelo or abuela are available.

Yeah, they love skinny-dipping.

Remember our family reunion?

They're still banned from that downtown Marriott.

- Really? - They are.

- No way. - Oh, okay.

Oh.

To my favorite big sister

on her double quinces.

- Cheers. - Thank you. Cheers.

- That retainer, though. - I swear.

- Why does she still wear it? - Oye.

- Jorgito. - Yeah.

Don't forget our appointment later.

Ah, right, the test. Yes.

- Mm-hmm. - What test?

Um, it's this Catholic quiz thingy

for marriage compatibility.

I'm sorry, did the Pope just pass

a thing allowing us to get parried in church?

- 'Cause I didn't get that phone call. - Stop.

Well, I tried to talk Father Bautista into allowing my boys

to marry in the church,

- and he said no. - Hey.

Abuela, it's fine.

- No. - It is.

I don't really love the aesthetic anyway, so we're good.

We'll be over later, and I love you very, very much.

- Yo tambi�n te quiero mucho. - Mm.

Look at you.

Yeah, well,

I think she just wants some sort of Catholic stamp of approval.

It means a lot to her, and I love her,

so, Jesus, take the wheel.

- Amen. - Okay.

But...

Let's go.

- Ooh. - Can't wait for our lunch date, hot stuff.

You're hot stuff.

I don't know how I got that woman.

Looks like things are going well with you two.

I know. Can you believe it's only been six months?

And that thing that usually happens when I start dating,

where I want to sprint in the opposite direction,

hasn't happened.

I'm not sprinting.

You are, though. Ready?

Yep. Yep, bring it.

- Arms up, arms up. - Yep. Yes, sir.

Hey, you're seeing the wedding planner today, right?

Can I put in a request for carrot cake?

Big swing, I know, but it'll be memorable.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh.

Ah.

Hey, Lil. Happy birthday.

What's up? You need me to bring something tonight?

Nope, we're all set.

I was actually wondering if you were free before the party

for a little adventure.

Ooh. You know I love a mysterious adventure.

- I am there. - Sweet.

Oh, shit. Uh...

Sorry. Can't. Sorry. Forgot I was booked.

- Uh, but I will see you tonight. - Okay.

- See you tonight. - Bye.

Aw.

Of course you'd call instead of text.

Some say predictable, I say reliable.

Happy birthday, Lily.

It's good to hear your voice.

Texting every once in a while has been nice,

- but there's something about your velvety baritone. - Thank you.

Um, anyway,

uh, I just wanted to call and say happy birthday,

you know, and I've done that, so...

Well, thank you for calling.

Yeah, thank you for being born.

Yeah. Uh, you know, I should probably go, and...

Hey, you think you can successfully teach me

how to drive stick?

What?

I found this bucket list I made when I was 15,

and you know how much I hate leaving to-do lists incomplete,

so I thought I'd give myself a little adventure

and cross a few things off of it today.

I'm sorry. It's so silly.

- I-I'm sure you're busy. - No.

No, no, I can, I can come over.

There's something I've been meaning to give you, anyway.

Only thing is, I had to get rid of my truck.

But we can always use one of your dad's cars.

He's out of the country, so I can't ask him.

But taking his car without his permission

would delight 15-year-old me,

- so let's do it. - All right.

Let's do it. Um, yeah, I'll see you in a little bit.

Rock and roll.

All right, bye.

Hey, kiddo, what's up?

You were unusually quiet in the car.

I was singing along to the Grateful Dead,

and you didn't make fun of me once.

You nervous about the game?

Please, there's literally nothing less important

than the result of a children's athletic competition.

This kid gets it.

I guess I'm a little nervous about Sol meeting Mom.

- Wait, you are? - Yeah.

I mean, Mom's the best, but she's...

Intense.

Watch it, Dad.

But intense, yeah.

She's super intense.

And, you know, she, sometimes, she's a little...

- Judgy? - Dad, stop.

But yeah, judgy. She's totally judgy.

Wait, judgy how?

Like mom-judgy.

Oh, I want to chime in so badly.

It all comes from a good place.

She's just a little overprotective,

and I guess I want things to go well,

because I love you, Sol.

I love you, too, Charlie.

And I'm sure everything is gonna be okay.

Yeah. I mean, totally. You're not nervous.

- Uh, well, I wasn't nervous, but now I'm a little... - Mom!

My baby.

I know, you're not a baby,

but you're always gonna be my baby, so tough nuggets.

Go on, get out there. Warm up.

- Amanda, hey. This is Sol. - Hi.

Hi. Sol, Amanda.

Finally. Mm. Are you a hugger? Because I'm a hugger, babe.

Oh, I just realized,

I didn't wait for you to respond.

I shouldn't have crossed that boundary without your consent.

I'm sorry.

I'm a hugger, too, so it's completely okay.

Okay, can we do it again, then? 'Cause I cut mine short.

Oh, God.

It is just so great to finally meet you.

I mean, Charlie glows when they talk about you.

And I can totally see why already.

I mean, who knew you could be so chic under those lab coats.

I mean, this guy's like a walking J.Crew catalog.

You know, you say it as an insult,

but all I hear is a compliment.

Oh, dang it.

Lee's dad just bailed again.

He was supposed to bring fruit salad.

That's actually what I brought today.

Okay, it's official.

You are a star. Come here.

We're hugging again.

I'm gonna be hugging you all day, I think.

I think we're gonna be hugging all day.

Ooh, you're so tiny.

Little bird bones.

I love it.

Ah, I wish we could share clothes.

She likes you.

This is gonna be the wedding of the century.

We're so hyped.

So, how I like to start is,

I kind of run through some classics,

just to get a sense of what you like.

It's broad strokes, low presh.

So, I'll click through pretty quickly,

and you just kind of give me a gut instinct.

Okay.

Ooh. Willamette River Inn.

- Love the water. - No hotels.

Portland Rose Room.

Yeah, like a cottagecore vibe.

Oh, my allergies would destroy me.

The Pearl, very modern.

- Dated the bartender. - Max? Me, too.

Did not end well.

So that's out. Fear not.

Happens all the time,

and I've got some useful follow-up questions

that can get us on the same page.

Like, uh, indoor or outdoor?

- Outdoors is so nice. - Indoor, obviously.

Henry, our wedding is in December.

Jorge, our climate is in collapse.

No worries, no problem.

Why don't we just get a little more in-depth? Sasha?

Complimentary Xanax?

Hey, thank you so much for coming.

I'm just gonna get my bag really quick.

So...

This is your gift.

Oh, wow.

Should I open it now?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, my God.

A custom travel makeup station.

Did you make this?

I mean, yeah.

Uh, I started it before you and I... you know.

But friends give each other gifts, right?

Yeah, right.

So, I, uh, put a mirror in here.

- Stop. - Thought you might like that.

And, you know, some space for your brushes and products,

- and stuff like that. - Santiago.

Is this because I was always bitching

about not having a mobile makeup station?

See, I did listen sometimes.

Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh, this is, like, the best present

I've ever received in my entire life!

Well, I'm glad you like it.

But we should get going.

We owe it to 15-year-old Lily to get you on the road.

Okay.

I'm gonna be dreaming about those scallops for months.

Well, if you're dreaming about scallops,

- then I'm doing something wrong. - No, don't worry.

You're in there.

Who do you think's catching the scallops?

- Naked. - Ooh, sounds unsafe.

- But, hey, your dream. - Mm-hmm.

You know, I've kind of always wanted to.

Well...

- want no more. - Oh!

Oh, gosh, so he's fun.

You're talking to the naked scallop catcher, baby.

Oh, wow. A noble profession.

- Thank you. - That's right. You're welcome.

Yes, Charlie!

Eye of the tiger, baby!

No mercy!

You're doing great, honey!

Just remember to feel the fun!

- Oh, my God. - Enjoy the wind in your hair.

- He is so corny. - I mean, truly. Thank you.

- But it's cute. - Well, it was.

I mean, it's not for me anymore,

but I love that you love it.

I do.

Get 'em, king!

That's how we do it.

Wow. Okay.

Something we like to do, you know,

to keep the spirits up.

I love it.

That's amazing.

Aw, seriously, Sol.

I am just so grateful that Charlie has you to look up to.

Thank you. It's special for me, too,

but parents as supportive as you two,

that's a big deal.

I wish I had that when I was Charlie's age.

Oh, my God. Please.

That kid teaches me.

I'm not just proud, I am incredibly grateful.

I-I feel blessed, you know,

to have this incredible, queer kid.

Ugh, and an awesome, amazing, queer,

ex-husband as my co-parent.

What? I'm not queer.

But thank you, Amanda.

I think you're an awesome co-parent, too.

Oh, I'm sorry. I-I actually thought...

Doesn't matter what I think, right?

Like, you know,

every-every day there's like a new teachable moment for me,

and I'm learning lots of things.

I'm sorry, I apologize.

I have cake!

Who doesn't like this part?

Huh? Okay, now take your time.

Savor each bite.

Now, on the count of three, you're both gonna point

- to your favorite. One. - Okay.

Two. Three.

Fondant, Henry? Oh, God.

Uh, a naked cake?

You get like a third of the frosting you pay for.

Fondant over my dead body.

How many more times are you gonna use that threat?

'Cause, as of now, I can't invite half my family

as the seats are taken by 20 of your dead bodies.

Good!

You know, we actually collaborate

with some pretty wonderful couples' therapists.

- Sasha. - Purple binder?

- Purple binder. - Okay.

Well, she did not look happy.

Is this a terrible idea?

None of this is real.

Whatever happens, it's gonna make a great story.

Hi, I'm Zari.

Thanks for your patience.

How can I help you?

- Can we get a reading? - Sure.

Who wants to go first?

Uh, me, apparently.

Mm-hmm.

- Thank you. - Of course. -

So, what's your name?

Uh, aren't you gonna consult your crystal ball

for that little piece of info?

I'm kidding.

I'm sorry. Uh, it's-it's Nick.

Anything in particular you want to ask the deck

before the spread?

Uh, uh, sure. Yeah.

How am I doing?

That is my question.

- For the deck of cards. - Great.

I'm gonna pull three cards for you, Nick.

- Past, present and future. - Okay.

Let's start with your past.

Ah.

The card of beginning itself.

The Fool?

Judgy.

Okay, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Could be speaking to unformed potential,

living in the present moment without thinking twice.

- Stuff like that. - Yeah, that does describe me up until my early 20s.

And my late 20s.

And really any time up until last month.

Okay, your present.

The King of Cups.

Hmm.

It seems that while you were once more na�ve and fast-paced,

you're now thinking more seriously

- about matters of the heart. - Yeah.

Yeah, actually, um, that's my girlfriend Ana out there.

Things are getting pretty serious.

Oh, but see, the card is reversed.

Is it possible there's some big emotion

you're not letting yourself feel?

Is there anyone or anything in particular

you've been avoiding thinking about?

What, you mean, mean like an old crush or-or something?

Uh, no.

No, nothing, nothing like that.

Okay, let's take a look at the future, then.

You know, sometimes the last card is the piece

that really makes the whole puzzle fit.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, Nick, this is a beautiful omen of happiness

and deep true love.

But you're gonna have to deal with whatever the King of Cups

is saying you're leaving unattended.

Interesting.

All three of these illustrations

prominently feature different flowers,

and that's not a common symbol.

Do flowers mean anything special to you, Nick?

Are those...

lilies?

- Okay, Lil, you got to... - Do not say the grapes and the tuna thing again!

It's clearly not working.

Also, it's a little distracting.

Because it's a gross food combination.

Okay.

Maybe this was a little ambitious.

But at least we tried.

- All right, well, if you can't cross it off the list... - Oh, no.

I'm crossing it off.

I got behind the wheel and no one died.

So...

What does 15-year-old Lily want us to do next?

[? Mest: "I Melt With You"]

? Moving forward using all my breath ?

? Making love to you was never second best ?

? I saw the world crashing ?

all around your face ?

? Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace ?

? I'll stop the world and melt with you ?

? I'll stop the world ?

? You've seen the difference ?

? And it's getting better all the time ?

? There's nothing you and I won't do ?

? I'll stop the world ?

? I'll stop the world and melt with you ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? I'll stop the world and melt with you ??

Wow!

Outdoor pool in Portland?

You have a rich friend.

Yeah, and that rich friend said

he'd be back in 45 minutes with his kids,

so we got to get moving.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you want me to...

- Mm. - Really?

- Yeah. - Okay.

I have seen you naked quite a few times.

Just saying.

So...?

- You coming in? - Was that on the list?

I don't remember seeing that.

Well, it is now.

It is now.

Okay.

Anything for the birthday girl.

Happy birthday to me...

As your friend,

you look good naked.

Careful with that talk.

But as your friend, you do, too.

You know what's a real shame?

What?

We never did it in a pool.

Careful with that talk.

Oh, shit!

- They're back early. - No way! Move!

And then he was all like "What? I'm not queer."

With that intonation and everything?

You need to walk me through this Miles thing a little.

Come on, you all know exactly what I'm talking about.

What if underneath of the charming smile,

he's just another one of those dangerous DL dudes?

- Oh... - 'Cause I've been in that relationship,

and I promised myself never again.

I don't know.

Miles has been amazing,

it's just...

something about the way he said it.

- Ah. - Mm.

- It's so messed up. - Ugh.

Black trans femmes deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy.

I know.

But that's not always what we get, though, is it?

All right, honey.

The point is, we love you.

And I love y'all.

I will say,

I think Miles does, too.

Genuinely.

I want that to be true so bad.

But if someone can't see me for who I am,

that's not really love.

Okay, honey, come on. Sit down.

Come on.

I hear you, babes,

but you said it yourself...

things have been great with him,

so let's not jump to any conclusions just yet.

And tonight...

I just want you to have a good time, okay?

Damn right!

'Cause, honey, I done already microdosed

and I'm ready.

Wait, microdosed on what?

Oh, darling. It's best that you don't know.

Look at us.

Are we like...

- real friends now? - Mm.

You know, I think we are.

Seriously, thank you so much for doing this.

It was...

kind of the most fun I've had in a long time.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Yeah, maybe we did get carried away a little bit.

But it was a great day.

I just hope I haven't let down 15-year-old Lily too much.

Well,

I think 15-year-old Lily would be damn impressed

with the woman standing in front of me.

She'd judge you on your roller-skating skills

- a little bit. - Just a little bit.

But, I mean, come on. Look at you.

You're starting a new business, you're saving up for a home...

You've had a lot of love in your life.

I don't know,

if you ask me, that all sounds pretty badass.

What would 15-year-old Santiago think of this guy right here?

Oh...

He'd be like "Damn, you dated her?

How'd you fuck that up?"

You know, if-if-if you're not doing anything tonight,

you're more than welcome to stop by.

I mean, it's gonna be the most fabulous

double quinces on a budget Portland has ever seen.

Yeah, thank you for the invite.

Uhm... How do I...

I kind of have a date tonight.

Yeah.

Of course. Uh...

I mean, that's great.

Um...

You can come by afterwards.

Or you can bring her

if she's cool coming

to your ex-girlfriend's birthday party.

And I'm hearing myself, and that sounds very unlikely.

Um...

I appreciate the invite.

You know, maybe we will.

- So... - Okay.

Bye, Lily.

Are you...

You want me to shake your hand?

No. No, no, no. Bring it in.

Yeah.

- Yeah, I should go. - Yeah.

- Thanks for the jacket back. - Of course.

Bye.

Great.

Another quiz to expose how not on the same page we are.

At least it's a written test so you can have a record

of all the ways I disappoint you.

Henry, I'm not gonna do this.

Can you just not raise your voice? Please!

Hola, hola, hola, mis chicos tan guapos.

The time has come.

�Buena suerte, chamacos!

This thing almost pulled the plug on our wedding.

It did?

You have nothing to worry about.

The FOCCUS questionnaire

has held up a mirror to many

Catholic couples for hundreds of years.

Well,

- the Scantron says "1974." - Shh!

This test is a tool to make sure

that the two of you have had conversations necessary

for a successful marriage.

Pero no se preocupen.

I'm sure you are on the same exact page.

Yeah.

We are.

Ooh, careful, baby.

T�a's sangria is potent.

Good.

What's the matter with you?

Ah, nothing.

Hey, t�a.

Hey, Gladys.

What the hell is going on? This is a party!

Whatever's happening, I don't have time to fix it,

so here's what's gonna happen.

You are gonna turn your frowns upside down.

You're gonna eat a pot brownie.

You're gonna get your shit together,

because this is a Gladys Delgado Production, baby,

Which means?

Everyone is getting plastered?

- You hired a stripper? - You put molly in the mole?

These are all great suggestions, but no.

It means this party

is gonna be epic for our girl, okay?

Okay, Henry, I want you to grab the chips.

I need you to go out there. I need you to start dancing.

Oh-oh, your shirt falls off? Whoa, that's okay.

Keep going. Get them on the dance floor.

I hear her, I hear her.

Okay, smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

God, I would've been such a good stage mom.

Help! I have nothing to wear.

Ten steps ahead of you, babe.

Open it... and you're welcome.

No way.

- My original quincea�era dress. - Yeah.

Re-tailored and redesigned for Ms. Be Real herself.

And my tiara!

- Honestly, you don't really deserve us. - Mm.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

It's stunning.

We just wanted to add a little bit of sunshine

to your day.

I got to be honest with you,

I didn't know I could still cry tears.

But I just did it. That was really beautiful.

You know what's more beautiful? You fucking working!

- Yes. Right. - On it.

So many fun presents.

Can we talk about that?

- Oh, that's from... - Santiago.

I know, I read the card.

Did he make that? With his beautiful hands?

- He did. - Aw.

- So, you guys back together? - No.

- Just friends. - What?

If that man showed up at my door

with that thoughtful-ass gift, I would be like

"Please, sir, put it wherever you would like."

- T�a. - What?

I said "please" and "sir" 'cause I'm classy.

- We're just friends. - Oh, my God.

Your generation exhausts me.

? Are you ready? ?

? Step up to the spot ?

? Everybody look at me now ?

? Who dat, who dat, fire burn, call me Tina ?

? Kodak, Kodak, now they want to take a picture ?

? Watch yourself or I might just take your mister ?

? Woop! Woop! Get it up and get it in ?

? Woop! Woop! I think I need to call a friend ?

? Woop! Woop! We're going till the end ?

? Spending money, give me dollars and the yen ?

but then I found out that he's not a billionaire.

He's a millionaire, and you know there's such a big difference...

Hey, it's so great to see you.

- Oh. - What, uh...?

Have you seen Sol? They haven't texted me back.

- What's... what's going on? - About that.

Go ahead and take a seat, Doc.

Uh...

what's...?

Are you afraid of being queer?

Can you not handle Sol's gender-expansive,

label-defying glory?

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Uh, too many hyphenates, babe.

Miles.

Your ex-wife called you queer and you hit the brakes so hard

that you sent Sol flying through the metaphorical windshield.

- What's up with that? - Ah. Okay, um...

Look, I got to be honest.

I get that I messed up,

but I have no idea how.

I fully support Sol's transness, and also,

I'm a straight dude.

We know they give femme realness,

but Sol is nonbinary.

And the last time I checked, that's not news to you.

Right, but what does that have to do with me?

Well,

you're loving beyond the binary now, honey.

So if you're that committed to your "straightness,"

it's a very dangerous game, is all.

- "Dangerous"? - I know that might

seem like a stretch,

but there are some so-called "straight men" out there

who go from desiring trans femmes

to disappearing them in a heartbeat.

But I would never...

Holy shit.

Does Sol feel unsafe just because I said I was straight?

When you grow up with a target on your back

just for being who you are...

Sol's learned the hard way

that you have to be safe rather than sorry.

So when you completely dismiss

the mere idea that your sexuality might be fluid...

That's where that type of violence stems from, honey.

I never thought about it like that.

Most people don't, but they should.

You should.

I think you and Sol have something special.

So if you truly love them,

you're gonna need to break out of some boxes as well.

Oh, give me a sec.

You're here!

- Hey. - Hey!

Welcome to my doble quince!

- Happy birthday. - Thank you, thank you.

- These are freshly baked. - Mm.

Nick mentioned you liked red velvet?

- I do. - Good.

I made them with black beans. I swear they're good, though.

Great, I can't wait to taste them.

Yeah, yeah, the cupcakes are great.

And she's really great.

And you're really great.

It-it doesn't need to be a competition.

- Happy birthday, Lil. - Oh, thank you.

I'm gonna put these in the kitchen.

Um, we went to a fortune teller

earlier and he's been a little weird since.

- No, I haven't. - Yes, he has.

Hey, maybe alcohol will fix this.

- That way. - Okay, thank you.

- Great. - Come on.

You need me to throw down?

Huh? T�a.

What? No, it's okay. I invited him.

Oh.

And what about, uh, Titty McDing-dong?

She has a name.

I just don't know what it is yet.

But I told him he could bring her.

God, you make questionable decisions.

- Hey, you. - How are you?

Mwah, I'm good. Hi, look at you.

You are just a person, are you?

Hi. Hi, um, you came.

We came.

Everything looks great. You look amazing.

Thank you.

Oh, um, Lily, this is Kiki.

Welcome to my double quincea�era.

Oh, it's nice to meet you. Thank you for inviting me.

This is so cool.

I'm definitely gonna have one of these when I turn 30.

Oh.

In, like, five years.

- Uh... where's the bar? - That way.

- Okay. - Yeah. Thank you.

Okay.

What's the play?

Because it's your night, and I don't want to cause a scene,

unless you want me to cause a scene.

I'll cause a scene. I'll scream so loud...

I adore you, but no.

- It's okay. I invited him. - Really?

- When? - Today,

after we spent the entire day together

doing fun, cute shit from my bucket list.

Ah, so you did all of that stuff with him?

Danger zone, Lily Diaz.

No. It was great. We had a really good time.

Nothing physical happened, I swear.

What exactly on the list did you do with him?

Did you go skinny-dipping?

Did you go skinny-dipping?

Okay, yes, but it wasn't like that.

We were able to be together,

literally naked, and we were cool.

That's a big deal in that it wasn't a big deal.

Okay.

All right. Because it's your birthday,

I'm gonna just excuse myself to the other room.

But if tonight turns into a murder mystery party,

you'll know who did it.

And it's gonna be me.

God, it's just...

Hey.

Hey.

Can we just not be mad anymore, please?

Yes! Thank God, because I don't like this feeling, it sucks.

I hated today,

and I never hate days that involve you, cake and champagne.

Well, the wedding planner was one thing, but...

I don't know, what if this test comes back

- and proves that we're not meant to be together? - Wait.

Do you really care what that test says?

- It was just to appease your abuela. - Yeah, I know,

but now I'm, like, in my head, it feels weirdly important.

Well, well, I don't care what it says.

I want to marry you no matter what.

I want to marry you, too.

Okay. Okay.

We're gonna go out there and we're gonna tell abuela

that we do not care about the results of that stupid test.

Right.

And I could do the naked cake.

Good, 'cause we're not doing fondant.

Lavender, I'm so sorry. Do you mind giving us a minute?

- Oh, of course. - Thank you.

Hi.

Hey.

I want to apologize.

I'm really sorry about the way that I reacted

to what Amanda said about me earlier.

I...

I wasn't trying to be dismissive, it was just...

new.

But I never, ever

want you to question whether you are wholly safe

and loved in this relationship.

Yeah, you have some pretty amazing friends.

Yeah.

Look, I was just scared what happened earlier

might mean something I didn't want it to mean.

And I get that now.

Or, I'm trying to?

To be honest, I'm still wrapping my head around all of it,

but...

Like, I never realized how my sense of my own sexuality

might affect you, or us.

I love expressing my femininity,

but I'm trans and I consider myself very queer.

I'm not a binary woman,

and I don't see myself or my relationships that way.

So... am I queer?

Miles, I can't answer that for you, and I'm not trying to.

I just want you to know how I see us,

beyond all these

man/woman, gay/straight binaries we're always put into.

Yeah, screw those binaries.

I care about you more than any word or label.

So, you know what I think?

What?

I think...

that if loving you makes me queer,

I'm queer.

Adelante.

�Abuela?

I'm so sorry to interrupt Caso Cerrado,

but we have something that we wanted to tell you...

Yes, but I have something to tell you.

You did great on the test.

- What? - We did?

You two are very compatible.

It is a little annoying.

So, we're not a disaster waiting to happen?

Oh, because you should've seen us

with the wedding planner earlier...

And doing what? Fighting over cake?

- Yes. - Yeah. - Please.

- �Eso qu� importa? - Pero Dios lo sabe

when it comes to what really matters.

Your values and the things you want

- and need for a shared life. - Well...

Both of you are very much on the same page.

Well, that's nice to hear.

- This test is amazing! - Okay.

Now go, go, go because Wheel of Fortune is about to start.

You don't want to come and join the party with us?

Wheel of fortune means sex.

Okay, bye.

? Heart and soul ?

? I fell in love with you ?

? Heart and soul ?

? Just like a fool would do ?

? Madly ?

? Because you held me tight ?

? And stole a kiss through the night ?

? Heart and soul ?

? I begged to be adored...

Thank you.

I'm always here for you, babe.

I know a middle school moment when I see one.

Is everything okay with you?

Yeah. I'm great.

So, you're totally good

with your ex bringing another woman to your party?

Yeah. I'm grown.

I've evolved.

Yeah. Well, your eyebrows are telling a different story.

My eyebrows always sell me out.

Okay.

I don't love it.

But we had such a fun day doing all that stuff,

I actually feel like we're friends now.

And if I can't be chill, then I'm gonna ruin that.

Lily, be real, girl.

And if the real is you're not ready to see your ex

with another woman yet, that's okay.

I invited him

because I thought I'd be okay with it,

but I hate it.

I got to go ask my ex to leave.

There she is.

Just after the song's over.

Hey.

- Hey, I was just gonna ask you... - Look...

I know I'm the one that invited you,

and it's so sweet that you came.

- You want me to leave? - Yes.

I get it.

I get it.

It makes it so much worse that you do.

Well, it was on your list: "To be real."

Santi,

I wish I was at a place

where seeing you with another woman wasn't difficult for me.

But I'm not there yet.

I'll get there, though.

'Cause I really want to be friends.

Me, too.

And, just so you know,

it would be really hard for me to see you

with someone else, too.

How about we make a rule?

Uh, we don't talk about who we're dating,

and we don't show up to things with dates.

Yes!

- We got this. - Great.

- Yeah. - High five.

- Easy. - Yeah.

Happy birthday, Lily.

Thank you.

Yeah.

- Oh, Nick. - Hey.

Hey. Whoa! The birthday girl.

Are you having an awesome time?

Despite the road bumps, I am.

Road bumps? On your big day? Who do I have to fight?

No, no, no, it's fine. It's actually a good thing.

You know, I feel like I'm finally starting

to gain clarity on what I want.

People talk about turning 30

like it's an end of an era... And maybe it is...

But doesn't that also make it a new beginning?

I mean, I'm only 30.

There's so much of my life ahead.

- Hell yeah. - Mm.

Hell yeah.

And actually, fun fact,

did you know our brains aren't fully developed

until we're like 25?

That means you're actually only five years into being

a fully operational human being.

Wow.

- That explains a lot. - Oh, yeah.

To our developing brains.

And the places they will take us.

Can we talk?

Yeah, fine.

All right, the more time I spend on my health now,

the less time I'll be sick later.

But you know what? These are Ana's bean cupcakes,

so they're fine.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Poison.

They're kind of burned a little bit.

- It's not worth it. - I need advice.

Oh, okay. Yeah, what's up?

Yeah, uh, well, okay.

There's a woman from my past...

Oh, my God. You're still in love with my sister?

Really?

- Jorge! - What?

- Am I that transparent? - Yeah.

Extra clear cellophane.

A freshly Windex'ed window.

The ocean of the Caribbean... I can keep going.

No, no. You said enough.

Look, when we first hooked up,

Lil was right not to take me seriously

'cause I was a man-child.

But now I have my shit together.

And, also there was this tarot card reading...

A tarot card reading?

I know it's not about the cards, per se.

I get that you see what you want to see.

But isn't it interesting

that what I want to see is me with Lil?

Wow.

You want some advice?

- Yeah. - Get your head on straight,

get out there and dance with your girlfriend,

who you are very happy with.

Ana is great.

But this has nothing to do with her.

It's...

Oh, man.

Jorge, I have been in love with your sister

since Putnam Hall freshman year.

What?

Yeah, I walked into our room

and there was just this goddess sitting there

in a Britney Spears T-shirt and ripped jeans.

She smelled like apple Jolly Ranchers, man.

- Oh, my God. - I said something stupid

and she laughed and I was done.

I have never felt that way about a girl in my life.

Ever. Or since.

For the record, that was my Britney Spears T-shirt,

but I had no idea that this crush went back that far.

And how are we talking about this just now?

I didn't want my feelings for her to get between us.

And I wasn't ready.

And if I'm being completely honest with myself,

so much of who I am now is because of her.

And maybe even for her.

Oh.

Well, babe, I'm...

sorry, I just, I don't think she sees you that way.

- Really? Because... - No.

I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay?

I love

that you and Lily have stumbled into this meaningful friendship,

but I think that's all it is, and I love

who you've become, too,

but maybe that's just for you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're, uh, you're probably right.

Um...

It is time to get over this crush once and for all.

Yeah.

Feels good to finally tell you, though.

And you're right.

Ana is great.

Thanks, Jorge.

Of course. I love you.

Me, too.

But no more secrets.

It's very annoying.

Well, apparently, I'm cellophane, so just

- look right through me now. - It gives me a lot of anxiety.

Hey.

- Is... everything okay? - No, Nick.

Everything is not okay.

Oh, hey, listen. Healthy desserts, they're hard.

You got to sacrifice the flavor, but you know...

No, it's not about the cupcakes.

It's about the cards.

You saw you and Lily in the cards.

Really?

Shit.

You heard all that?

Yeah, I heard that.

And before I heard it, I saw it.

And before I saw it, I felt it.

I have felt it this whole time.

And I just brushed it off

again, and again, and again!

God, trust your instincts, Ana!

I have just been an understudy this whole time.

No, no, this has been real.

It's been real, and-and-and the last six months

- Ana, I've been... - Don't.

I like you.

And I really, really like you so much...

Uh...

But I'm not her.

I am no one's consolation price.

I'm sorry.

You deserve better.

Yeah, I do.

I'll get my stuff tomorrow.

? Happy birthday ?

? Dear Lily ?

? Happy birthday to you ??

Wait, hold on...

Make a wish.

- Ding. - Ah! Jorge!

No!

Hey.

Mmm. Oh, my God. This is delicious.

Damn, this is good.

Did we just find our wedding baker?

- Gladys. - T�a, come.

This cake is amazing.

Thank you. I know.

Would you make our wedding cake?

You guys...

No. It's so much work.

I could be persuaded.

Prada mules for three weeks.

Four weeks.

Three and a half weeks.

Throw in the black Balenciaga bag.

You bitch.

Deal.

Nice doing business with you.

- Pleasure. - Ah, damn it.

- What just happened? - We just got our wedding cake.

? I want to see you bring the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ?

Go, Lily! Go, Lily! Go, Lily!

- Go, go, go, go, go, go! - Go, Lily! Go, Lily!

? The flavor ?

? You got it, yeah, let's move that body ?

? Uh-huh, you got it ?

? I want to see you bring the heat ?

? Somebody gon' loving the way that body roll ?

? Got everybody watching, like 'bout to do the impossible ?

? Yeah, that the way it always gone ?

? Movin' that body on the floor ?

? Just bumping to the speakers ?

? And letting the music take control ?

? I want to see you bring the heat, the heat ?

? I want to see you bring the flavor, the flavor ?

? Come on, let's move it to the beat, the beat ?

? We gonna do it now and later, and later ?

? I want to see you bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat ?

? I got ya everything you wanted ?

? No, I just don't stop ?

? I move it like the mambo ?

? Bring the heat so hot ?

? They just keep coming knocking ?

? Like a rat-tat-tat ?

? Yeah, they can't help but love it ?

? 'Cause I-I'm in the mood for something ?

? I got a body stushin' ?

? So papi say the word and we go zero to a hundred ?

? I'm in the mood for something ?

? Can't help but feel the rush, yeah ?

? Keep doing what we doing ?

? Until this room is burning up, yeah ?

? I want to see you bring the heat, the heat ?

? I want to see you bring the flavor, the flavor ?

? Come on, let's move it to the beat, the beat ?

? We gonna do it now and later, and later ?

? I want to see you bring the heat, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Bring the heat, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Bring the heat, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Bring the heat, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Like, uh-huh, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Like, uh-huh, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Like, uh-huh, you got it ?

? Yeah, let's move that body ?

? Like, uh-huh, you got it ?

? Yeah, I want to see you bring the heat, the heat ?

? Bring the heat, the heat ??

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