All language subtitles for The.Joneses.2016.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-ZTR

Are you ready
for this unveiling?

[chuckles]

Check out the platforms.

Are those not the most...
Is that Madonna, or what?

[chuckles]

Hmm... What do you think?

-[cameraman] Very nice, Jheri.
-[Jheri chuckles]

Not too bad for 74.

Oh.

♪ A kiss on the hand may be

♪ But diamonds are
a girl's best friend ♪

As long as I'm able to
get to that bathroom,

and get to my makeup
mirror and my makeup,

and honey, I'm gonna be pumping
this hair, and spraying it,

putting on that makeup,
and, yes, ma'am,

I don't intend to go
outta here looking like

no cotton-picking old hag.

Yes, I wanna look nice,
it's because all those years

of having to live as a man,

and wanting to buy
pretty clothes, dress up,

wanting to just be me,
and I couldn't.

[children chatter]

[train whistle blows]

[dog barking]

[dance music]

I don't have a partner,
but I can dance.

[Spanish accent]
Hey, hombre, what are you doing
in a place like this, baby?

[kisses forehead] Mm?

You come to see Chiquita?

-Yes.
-That tickles, stop it.

You no like Conchita?

I kill you, you Yankee pig.

-Stop, I'm ticklish.
-[chuckles]

There was a time that I
met this guy at the disco

who was dressed up
like John Wayne.

And he was so
masculine and so fine,

and we just hit it off
really well,

and I just thought,
oh, I had just struck gold.

So anyway, um...

somehow we ended up
at his motel room.

Yes, he was wearing
ladies' undergarments,

and he was throwing
himself on the bed,

and hollering, "Spank me, oh!"

And do all kinds of terrible...

He was into some
kind of weird scene,

and so I got out of there
real quick and went home.

Two of my four sons
reside here with me.

We lived apart
for several years,

and after my ex
had passed away,

they, um, I talked them
into selling the house
and moving with me,

and we would be back together
like a family again.

So, it's worked out
pretty well.

It gets a little
trying sometimes,

but, um, it helps that
I'm on one end of the house

and they're on the other,
so I have a certain
degree of privacy.

And, um...

But other than that, we bicker,
and we fuss, and we argue.

But we love each other,
and we're very supportive.

Dear Heavenly Father,
we thank you for this day
and for this food

and for the privilege of
sharing all of this together,

the joy,
and the sorrow,

the good food, the laughter,

another day together, and
we pray for many more to come,

in the name of Jesus
we pray, amen.

-Amen.
-Now, yes.

What was it Jean Harlow said?

I'm gonna slip into
something more comfortable?

Okay, pantyhose.

Oh, they've come out with
pantyhose for men now.

It's not easy being transgender,

Every day, it's a challenge.

You can use all
the willpower you have

to try to keep this
in the shadows,

at some point, it's going
to come out in the open,

and you cannot fight it.

[sighs]

What women have to go through.

By the time I decided
to do something,

I was in my late 30s,
I had four small children,

I had to confront the wife
and go through the divorce,

change jobs, start
a whole new way of life.

Oh, did I tell you
I used to be a hairdresser
and cosmetologist?

For about six years, oh yes.

Um, school teacher, nine years.

An accountant.

I've done everything
but be a stripper.

I haven't tried that yet,

I'm not real good about
swinging around poles.

The doctors in Jackson
at that time,

none of them were treating
transgender people,

and they didn't want
to talk about it,

they didn't want
anything to do with it.

But, the surgery was always
uppermost in my mind.

I struggled for years
to raise the money

because I was helping
support my four children,

and then I sought out
a reputable surgeon

in Brussels, Belgium.

At that time,
I was 60 years old.

I started out with nothing,

no money, no resources,

it seems like a miracle

that I actually was able
to finally achieve this.

Okay.

It's off to face
the cruel world.

[Trevor] I guess I thought when
I got to the age that I'm at,

it's just I thought,
I don't know,

that I would've done more.

And, uh...

I haven't, and it
just kinda makes me...

feel... worthless.

I'm trying not to
feel so inferior, like...

I like to feel that I matter.

And sometimes I
feel that I don't.

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

I decided I needed
to change things,

and I hope to get married,

and I hope to find
that special person,

and I hope to have kids,
and hope to have a family.

I haven't found
that person yet,

but like I said, I hope to.

There's a lot I want,
and there's a lot
I want outta this life.

If I... if I could choose
everything I wanted,

I guess I'd be a very
davishly good-looking playboy,

going from one girl
to another girl,
but in the end,

I just would rather have
somebody I can marry

and maybe grow old with,

'cause to me,
that's a beautiful thing.

[Jheri] Oh, okay.

Whoa, immaculate.

Yes.

Oh, and the drawers are closed,

there's no underwear
hanging out.

[laughs]

There's no candy
wrappers on the floor,

and no coffee cups with
green mold growing in them.

-[Brad] And no dead mice
under the bed.
-[chuckles]

-This is true.
-[chuckles]

-Ooh, ooh.
-[Trevor chuckles]

[chuckles] I like it,
I like it.

["Rock the Boat"
by Hues Corporation]

♪ You got the notion

♪ Said I'd like to know where

♪ You got the notion

-♪ To rock the boat
-♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat
-♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

♪ Rock the boat

♪ Ever since our voyage
of love began ♪

♪ Your touch has thrilled me
like the rush of the wind ♪

♪ And your arms have held me
safe from a rolling sea ♪

Ooh!

This is the laboratory.
[chuckles]

Okay, where it all happens.

Brad, our oldest,
almost died after childbirth,

a day or so after childbirth,
with convulsions,

because it was
a breech birth and everything,

and it was a difficult birth,

thought probably
caused some damage.

He survived, and
Brad is doing well.

He's got a weight problem,
and I worry about that

because he won't watch
what he eats.

I have to work,
and he stays at home,

and we can't be with him
24 hours a day.

I remember us growing up,

[indistinct]

Trying to eat more healthier,

so I'm trying to
just be more healthy,

and hopefully
I can live longer,

because my mom died at 59

and my grandmother died at 59.

This was an old music box

that I got for my mother
when she died,

I just kept it up here.

She's in heaven and she's
always looking down on me. So...

I may have grew up
without a father,

but I always had
two loving mothers.

[guitar tuning]

[playing melody]

[Jheri] There was a period of
about seven or eight years

I was totally estranged
from my children.

I didn't talk to them,
I had no contact with them.

This was due to their mother,

she didn't want the
children to be around me.

Those were very painful years.

Emotionally,
I was just a wreck.

I wanted to see my children.

This picture was us...
It's filthy.

This was... It's a little
damaged right here,

but this was us 1994,
Thanksgiving Day.

[voice shaking] I missed
my dad for a while...

and, um...
it'll always stand out

as the most important
Thanksgiving to me,

because it was special.

You know, we hadn't
talked for years.

It was like rediscovering
my dad... my father
all over again.

I had wondered why Jheri
wasn't a part of my life,

I guess part of me
was wondering

whether or not Jheri
still loved me, and, um...

part of it I didn't understand

was that our mama
did not want Jheri around.

[Jheri] Once I really got
into the crossdressing

and living totally as female,
before the surgery,

then of course, that's where
the visits were suspended.

I don't know, I guess
I thought that your life
was just so important

that you couldn't take time
out to see us, you know?

[Jheri] Well, apparently,
she never did explain.

Yeah.

She told me just
before she died

that she still loved
you as a friend.

Did you know that?

You have to know
that your mother was...

was in her own way,
a very special person.

You know, Momma,
when you weren't there,

she had to try...
she tried to play
mother and father,

which I know wasn't
easy on her, you know.

[Jheri] Yes.

Especially when
you weren't there.

That's right.

There's no possible way
I would ever have deserted you,

I never would've deserted you,
under any circumstances.

I don't know, I guess
that I hadn't called you
Dad in so long,

that's what was
really depressing me,

because in a way,
I had missed you,

I had missed calling you Dad.

[Jheri] So this is what
our new balance is right here.

Hopefully next week's
gonna be good.

[Wade] I own a small mobile
locksmith company.

Jheri handles
all my accounting.

In a lot of ways,
we may not have the typical
parent-child relationship,

but I think it's
a good relationship.

I remember
the first time hearing

that Dad was moving out,

and I don't even remember
how old I was,

I do remember saying that,
"Well, if that's the case,

I'm gonna go live with Dad,"

and it was explained to me
that that wasn't possible.

Wade cried,
he took it really hard,

and it just broke
both our hearts.

I was either just
getting out of high school,

maybe it was my last year,

the first time
I had seen her again.

I worked up at the food court
at Metro Center,

-at the pizza place.
-[Jheri] Yes, you did.
[chuckles]

Sbarros, I remember.

I think maybe
it was the first time

I'd ever seen her
dressed as a woman,

and I have to admit,

first laying eyes on her
after all that time,

it did take me back
a little bit,

I didn't know how to react,

and I think she didn't know
either, it was kinda awkward.

She came up to the
counter and said hey,

and I said hey back.

We got the door open,
but it was kind of
a strange day.

But I'm glad she did.

My kids, Nick and Trinity,
at this point, do not know,

because they've always
called Jheri Grandma.

How do you tell your
14-year-old

and your soon to be
13-year-old daughter

that their grandma is,

technically speaking,
their grandfather?

And that, "Your actual grandma
has been dead for years"?

I would love to tell 'em,
just to be honest with 'em,

because I don't want it to be
like my mom never existed.

'Cause Nick has asked about
my dad a couple times,

and I've deflected
the question,

because I wasn't
really sure what to say.

"Son, you already met my dad.

You're over there most days."

How do you wrap your head
around that, you know?

At 14 years old?

You come from a long
line of Joneses, baby,

we know they are just
almost an extinct species.

I'd like to go to my grave

knowing that you're
finally gonna get married

and have beautiful children,
Jones children,

that will carry on
the family name.

[Nick] Me?

-Yes, you, Nick.
-Yes, you, Nick.

All right.

In my family,
you're the only Jones,

my brothers didn't have any
Jones grandsons, but I did.

-Are we ready?
-Yeah.

Okay.

Heavenly Father,
thank you for this
generous food,

in Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Amen.

[Jheri] It's not comfortable

when you are hiding
something from people.

It preys on your mind
every day, and you worry.

At first, I was really scared,
I thought, "Oh my God,

how are the grandchildren
going to deal with this?

Am I going to be rejected,

are they not gonna
wanna see me anymore?"

And I certainly don't wanna
put an extra challenge on them.

I know how cruel
your peer group can be

when you're an adolescent
or in high school,

I went through all
of that bullying,

so I wanna spare them that.

You can do whatever you
want here, basically.

Usually hang with my homies.

I know the homies are
down there right now.

I usually run around here,
walk around here,

I do what I do,
ain't a big deal.

[barking]

It's not the best place, but
you make a lotta friends here.

I might join the military,
I don't know.

I still gotta think
about it some more,

you know what I'm saying?

[Jheri] I grew up
in Mississippi,

which they called a
closed society at that time.

We had the segregation system
and all of that going on.

That was a scary time
to be different.

Grew up in a big old farmhouse
out in the country,

and my dad had cotton fields
and cornfields.

I had two brothers
and three sisters.

We didn't have anything,
materially, much.

I was aware very early on

that I was expected
to behave a certain way,

that boys dressed and
acted a certain way,

and I knew I couldn't even
feel comfortable with that.

I would go out to the barns
and dress up in girls' clothes

and play by myself.

They were distressed
about my behavior.

I would hear them whispering
and talking about it,

and, "Maybe we should apply
a more stringent punishment,"

and of course, years later,

I had to tell them
what was going on.

And it was... I told them,
they were very quiet,

they didn't say
anything, really.

My father, he was dying,
and he had cancer,

and I came to see him,

and I wasn't fully
cross-dressed,

but my parents
had changed a lot,

and he was just
so happy to see me.

And, um, he said...

I reached down, and kissed him,
and I held his hand,

he said, "I'm so glad
you're here,"

he said, "Nothing else really
matters but that you're here."

[voice shaking] And that's
a moment I remember.

This is my mommy.

And my daddy.

My mother wrote me a letter
not long before she passed away,

and in it, she wrote,

"To my darling daughter
on her birthday,"

and that meant more to me
than anything,
and I still have it.

And it was very precious to me.

That was like, "It's okay,
I accept you as you are."

That's what she was saying.

[exhales loudly]

Ooh.

[Jheri] Hey, darling.

[nurse] I thought you
were gonna do the hug?

[Jheri chuckles]

[indistinct chatter]

[woman] Where the hug at, Trent?

[Jheri] He's probably
upset with us

because we hadn't
been up in a while.

[nurse chuckles]
Wait a minute, Trent,

you didn't give nobody no hug.

[Jheri] Trent, Trevor's brother,
they are fraternal twins,

but Trent is schizophrenic
with symptoms of autism.

His mother managed to
get him put into a home,

but at that time,
we were estranged,

and there was the separation,
so, in a way, it was good news,

but yet, it was
distressing for me too.

[Trent] I see
Wendy's over there.

Yeah, we're just about
coming right on it.

He loves Wendy's.

Don't you, sugar bun?

Your brother was very sad
that he didn't get
to come and see you.

-Yeah.
-He was crying the other night,

and very sad about not being
able to come up and visit you,

he misses you. Okay?

Yeah, Trevor had to work.

Yeah. He had no time
to come see me.

That's how I feel,
alone, right now, Trent.

I hope my brother Trevor okay.

Oh, he's okay.

I told you, it's too fast.

Don't eat too fast.

Brain freeze.

I told you, don't eat
too fast, not too fast.

[dance music playing]

I go to a ballroom dancing
class occasionally.

I walk into that place and
there's all these couples,

they all have husbands,
wives, boyfriends, girlfriends,

partners, and I'm alone,
so I stand out from the crowd.

I would like to have
an affectionate,

intimate relationship
with a man,

whatever the age.

I would like to
keep the door open

and the possibility of that.

It's difficult to really find

a good, solid
relationship with someone,

and then there's always the
problem of how far do you go

without telling them
about your situation,

who you are, and how you
arrived at this point,

and, very often,
you're gonna get rejection,

a lot of rejection.

And, um...

Of course, before the surgery,
it was more than rejection,

it was almost the
threat of murder.

[people singing hymn]

♪ On his cresting in the sky

♪ But if we are
in his keeping ♪

♪ He will guide us
with his eye ♪

♪ He will
guide us with his eye ♪

♪ On his promise, I rely

♪ On the way
from Earth to glory ♪

♪ He will guide me
with his eye ♪

What is it that God is?

God is love.

Brethren, one day,
we're gonna be love.

Now you might look at your
own experience and say,

"I suffer, I suffer daily,"

but you and I, we suffer
because of sin in our flesh.

And I'm gonna cause you to
remember your own evil ways,

I'm gonna cause you to
remember your former ways,

the things you used to do.

You know they're contrary
to the will of God,

and it's gonna cause you grief.

We shall be delivered,

and may God bless you
and keep you as my prayer.

♪ Amazing grace

♪ How sweet the sound

My religious beliefs and
my faith is everything.

There's people out there
that would tell me point blank,

"You're going to hell."

and I'd just say,
"Lord, I don't understand it,

I'm gonna leave it
in your hands,

and you're the one
who has the final answer,"

and that's where I leave it.

♪ Was blind, but now I see

I'm very, very proud of Brad,

of what he's accomplished,
what he's able to do.

He helps me keep house,
take care of the yard,

he is very considerate,

and hopefully I'm gonna
see a drop in the weight.

[Brad] I just gotta bring
myself to do this

'cause as much as I'd get
a burger or fries, Coke.

After a while, I started
gaining all this weight.

Going to the gym,

that's what you get.

Try to come on, here I am.

My mother, we were very close.

But I do believe

that when your loved ones pass,

they do protect you.

[Jheri] My ex, I met her
in a beauty shop
where I was working.

She and I developed a strong
bond as friends and coworkers,

and I just adored her.

I was obsessed with getting
married and having children,

and I wanted this
problem to go away,

and so she became
the person I would marry.

Within a year or two,
I realized I was playing a role,

that this wasn't who I was.

And I wanted to
please my parents,

I wanted to please society,

I wanted to be
what they wanted me to be,

and I couldn't.

And of course, it broke her
heart when I explained to her,

when all this came
to a head and I told her.

It's hard for me
to forgive myself for it,

even though I know
I had to do what I had to do.

She just gave up on herself.

And she gained
hundreds of pounds,

and she was so heavy, she could
not get up out of a chair,

and she literally killed
herself over time.

She forced Trevor
to drop out of school,

against my knowledge,
and forced him to stay home

and take care of her
and wait on her.

That did a lot
of damage to him,

and now, he has to have
somebody he can blame for that,

he has to have a target
for that anger,

and I'm the available target.

[Wade] This is where
we definitely saw
Momma go downhill.

And you more than anybody.

Yeah.

But towards the end, she just...

her weight and her
lack of mobility,

-it just got very depressing.
-Yeah.

Especially to watch that happen
to somebody that you love.

I don't know, I think at some
point she just kinda gave up.

At the time, I was just like,
"I need to get away from here."

I think I felt like this
place was suffocating me.

And I know that
sounds pretty selfish,

but that's how I felt about it.

[Trevor] And I was left being
forced to take care of Momma.

First of all, I didn't
demand anything, I asked you,

and then you blow up at me.

Will you stop, please,
and listen?

I heard all this before,
you told me all this.

No, you haven't.

You think everything
is about you,

when it stops being about you,
you get pissed off about it.

Oh, God.

[Jheri] What you are lacking in,
Trevor, is compassion.

I'm sorry,
I am a damaged person,

I have been to hell and back
and I am damaged.

[Trevor] I try to
understand you, I believe you.

Well, I'm gonna be in
a lotta pain till the day

I draw my last breath,
I'm gonna be in pain.

[Trevor] This is why
we don't grow as a family,

because we don't talk.

So you go on, do the same thing
you've done for generations,

don't listen.

I'm trying to tell you
one more point.

[Jheri] Alright,
what's your point?

You shut me out sometimes

and I'm literally at your feet
begging you to listen to me.

I'm hurting, and
all you care about

is what is going on in
Jheri's fucking world,

you don't give a shit
what's going on in mine,

that's why I'm so angry!

[Jheri] I remember
my daddy walking out
to the watermelon hedge,

he could always tell
if it was ripe or not,

he'd just... you know.

Oh yes, mm.

Mm, yes.

-See, this is good.
-Yes.

Trevor's going through
a lot of things right now,

he's still in the
process of sorting out

a lot of issues in his life
and his feelings,

And... so I'm trying
to be patient with him
because of that.

Yeah, me too.

And it's very hard because
he can be very, very abusive.

He's angry, a lot of anger.

He knows we love him.

That's why we...

I wasn't there for him
when he was growing up

like I was supposed to be,

so he's gonna
make me pay for it

for the rest of my life.

This is a very toxic situation,

and hopefully it's gonna get
better, but, I don't know.

♪ Sweetest phrases
the world has ever known ♪

♪ And maybe
I'll send them all to you ♪

♪ Yes, maybe

I was already at the point
where I was really depressed,

really mad, and I
knew what was wrong.

It just got worse and worse.

It's hard to describe,

you know how when
you blow a balloon up,

and it just gets
bigger and bigger,

and eventually,
if you just keep on blowing,

it's just gonna pop.
Well, that's what
I felt like inside,

like all this pressure,
I was about to explode,

till finally, I said,
"You know what, Jheri,

there's something
I got to tell you."

The truth is I am gay,
I don't care,

I don't care you know,
some people are gonna accept it,

some people are not, but...

it is who I am.

Why I didn't come out
years before,

because my mother
was a Jehovah's Witness,

and she talked down
on homosexuality.

It was a sin, it was wrong,
"God frowns on that,"

that kinda stuff,
and that's why
I never could...

you know...

I never could come out then.

[Jheri] If I start crying,
I'll never stop,

so I have to keep
the dam under control.

I've shed enough
tears in my lifetime

to fill an ocean anyway.

It's okay.

Sweet little sister.

Okay.

[Trevor] Howdy, howdy.

How you doing, Jher?

[Jheri] I'm okay.

What's wrong?

Every time there's
a death in the family,

either I'm not told about it,

so I won't show up
at the funeral,

or either if I do show up...

and during the eulogy,
the preacher...

when it comes to time to read
off the list of survivors...

and I'm sitting there
holding my breath, or I...

"Oh, maybe they're gonna
get it right this time,"

and yesterday,
at my sister's funeral,

he's reading off
the list of survivors,

"She is survived
by her children,"
and he names them,

and lots of grandchildren.

"Also, she's survived
by her...

brothers.

Brothers.

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones,
of Pearl, Mississippi."

[sighs]

They...

could not say,
"Her sister, Jheri Jones".

So when the family went
to him and told him to--

Why are you letting
this upset you so much?

Because it's disrespectful,
it's patronizing,

it's degrading,
its humiliating,
that's why.

When we first
got back together,

it took us a while
to learn how to use

the word "she" instead of "he."

Maybe they don't wanna give up

thinking of you
as their brother.

Oh dear, what a loss.

My little sister,
God rest her soul,

she saw me as her sister,
we had no problems with it.

It breaks my heart.

I just wish the rest
of my extended family...

could do that.

I wish they could give me
that kind of respect.

[indistinct chatter]

Do you have boxing today?

Yeah.

-[Jheri] You do?
-Mm-hmm.

[Jheri] Welterweight
champion of the world.

[Nick ] I used to be,
like, I didn't give a crap
about this thing,

but now, kinda just
decided to be nice.

I would always wonder
why he would always call

Grandma "Jheri" and not "Mom,"

I'm like, "That's weird,"

if she was my mom, I would
call her Mom all the time.

And even Uncle Trevor will
call her Jheri, and not Mom.

I always wondered what
happened to Grandpa.

And Grandma, which, Jheri,

would say that she got rid
of Grandpa a long time ago.

My grandson has begun
to ask his father,

"Who was your dad?

'Cause you never
talk about it."

and Trinity, my granddaughter,
she's very quiet,

she keeps her thoughts
to herself.

It's just very difficult,
very difficult.

[exhales]

That's what terrifies me,

I'm going to grow into this
very old, decrepit person,

my grandchildren
won't speak to me,

and that's a terrible thought.

I would do anything to
prevent that from happening,

but I don't know what I can do.

It's heartbreaking.

Mmm.

So I don't know.

[Trevor] What the hell?

Knowing in the back of my head
that my bedroom's a complete
disaster depresses me,

because it's,
like, my sanctuary.

[sighs]

[sighs]

When I came out,

I hadn't been with anyone,
male or female.

I was 36 years old,
I didn't wanna be the
40-year-old virgin,

like in that movie where
the guy waited till he was,

like, 40 to lose his virginity.

I didn't wanna be
a laughing joke,

but also--
and it was also the fact

that I finally
lost my virginity,

but I finally figured out,
"This is who I am."

It's-- you know,
it's something I had denied,

and I was finally able to
finally come to terms with it,

and the truth can be something
that can either set you free

or it can destroy you.

I haven't pulled this
thing out in a while.

This was a Mother's Day card

I gave to Momma
on Mother's Day.

It said,
"Thanks for being a loving,

compassionate, and
understanding mother,

and that's why we think
you're the greatest
mother in the world."

[sniffs]

Going to her graveside

and finally admitting
to Momma that I'm gay

would in a way help me
to let go of certain things.

[crying] Hey, Momma.

[sniffling]

I promised you that one day
I would get married,

and I would have kids.

I don't think that's
gonna happen, Momma.

Momma, I'm gay.

[crying] I know you taught me
that homosexuality was a sin

and God frowns upon that,

but I'm not sorry
for coming out.

Maybe we'll see each other on
the other side one day, okay?

Momma, till then,
just know I love you.

I'm glad that Mom never lived
to see them come out to her,

because it woulda been
hard for her. Very hard.

After what happened
between her and myself,

and her
and the marriage and all,

it woulda been too much
for her to take, I think.

I like to think she's
in a better place now,

where she has
perfect understanding,

she's been endowed with
a heavenly understanding
of things,

and that she can
understand now,

when she couldn't have here.

[car starts]

[Brad] Trevor being gay,
he does seem a lot happier.

Like I told Trevor,

you've got to feel comfortable
in your own skin.

That's a gay pride bracelet.

And this is one of the
ways I express myself.

I had a dream
where I was married,

and I dreamed that
I had a child.

It looked like me,

teeth were normal,
was actually perfect.

I always wondered what
my life woulda been like

if I was normal, and didn't
have the problems I have.

It's our nature to have
a companion in our life.

Because of my situation,
it's gonna be hard.

I am gonna keep on trying,
I'm not gonna give up.

[Trevor] I'm doing just fine.

I went out with
the drag queen dude last night.

It went wonderful actually.

Yeah, I'm still
trying to wake up,

but it was worth it,
so I ain't really complaining.

[chuckles]

Now that I've come out
of the closet,

my whole life has changed,
I actually have a life,

and I'm dating, and
all that kinda stuff,

and I'm also enjoying
all this attention.

You know, I mean...

Growing up, or partly
because I was, you know,

the way I was treated
when I was in school,

which now I can probably see
maybe they could
sense I was gay,

maybe that had something
to do with it, you know,
why I was picked on,

but it made me
feel bad about myself,

but now, I'm on some
dating sites and stuff.

They'll actually tell me
I'm handsome, I'm cute,

I'm pretty, and sexy,
and whatever,

and I'm like, "Well,
thank you very much."

After what happened to me,

I would rather they have not
had to deal with any of this,

being different, in any way,

so it's not easy, but--

[Trevor] Well, you know
I didn't ask to be this way.

Mm-mm.

'Cause you know
I fought this for years.

[Jheri] Oh, yeah.

[Jheri] He came out and
started all his new life

at the same age that I was
when I started mine.

He was scared to death
I was not going to accept him,

and I couldn't believe it.

I said, "Sweetie, why would
I not be there for you?

You were there for me."

[upbeat music]

Hello, how are you doing?

[man] All right,
how are y'all doing today?

Doing good.

[Jheri] How about that?
[laughs]

[Trevor] Let me see, Trent.

[Jheri] He looks like
Sherlock Holmes.

[Brad] You did a good drawing.

[Jheri] Trent, I didn't know
you had that kinda talent.

He's got a hat and an earring,
mustache and beard right here.

[Jheri chuckles]

Okay.

[Jheri] Hooray.

Trent, we need to
take some pictures.

All right, put your arm
around me like this.

Oh, that's sweet.

-Now, Trent. Turn around.
-In my pockets.

I'm here,
put your arm around me.

At the Singin' River Hospital.

Put your other arm down.

There you go. Okay.

[Jheri chuckles]

If I was a multimillionaire,

I'd take him out of
this place so fast,

and I would hire somebody

to personally
take care of him for me,

and give him his medication,
and everything else.

I can't manage him
myself at home,

if I could, I would
have him at home.

[dog barks]

Hello.

Hello, Chris.

Hello.

[Jheri] Are you
having a good day?

Yeah, I enjoyed dealing
with Dell customers all day,

how was your day?

[Trevor] Chris is a
really wonderful friend,

I met him through
a dating site.

Pretty comfy sitting here.

[chuckles]
They don't pick up the phone

and call people anymore,

they tweet 'em, and twerk
'em, and google 'em...

Alright, baby, do your thing.

There you go.

[Brad] There you go,
now it's catching.

You're gonna keep me
warm tonight, aren't you?

Only if you ask nice.

[Jheri] Even Martha Stewart
couldn't do this.

There we go.

[Wade] With the
being head of house,

and the two kids,
and all that stuff,

I'll probably
still get a refund.

Plus an earned income credit
and all that other stuff.

[Jheri] Yeah, you're still
around the poverty line,
see what I mean?

So you shouldn't
have to pay anything.

We just about got
ourselves out of the hole

that we were in.

[Jheri] We're just about
back on top again.

And, oh, I've heard
people that know you

say such kind and nice things
about you, how hard you work.

For a time there,
I thought I was gonna have to

go get something for anxiety,

but her faith in me has
gotten me through a lotta this.

My kids, well, they figured out
that my mom had died,

just because of
what they heard,

so, they were like,
"Well, who is Jheri,

and how is she related?"

I'm like,
"Well, Jheri's my dad."

It was a big weight
off my shoulders

because I wasn't sure
how I was gonna approach it.

They probably coulda
handled this earlier.

I think maybe it was me
that couldn't handle it.

Jheri's not perfect,
but neither am I.

She's been there,
and sometimes,

that means more than anything.

They're great kids,
I'm very blessed.
They're very smart.

But my family's everything.

There's no other way to put it,
they are everything.

It's shocking.

When I first heard, I'm like,

"Oh my gosh, my grandma...
was a man."

It kinda messed my
whole viewpoint up
with the family,

I was, like, "If Grandma
is my mom's dad..."

So that means she had to
marry somebody to have my dad.

I would like to talk to him,

'cause I don't know
much about my grandma.

Probably help.
They'll probably
give me some answers.

[exhales loudly]

I am just-- My nerves, Brad,
I've gotta have some coffee,
my nerves is just--

[Brad] I put some coffee
right here, it's right here.

My nerves is just
shattered, shattered.

I just hope--
I hope he doesn't
turn against me,

or this doesn't interfere
with our relationship
in any way,

I hope he's able
to absorb it and deal with it.

[Wade] There we go,
that's Jheri, that's 1973.

[Jheri] Yeah, I was in a play.

That's April, so I was,
like, not quite a month old.

So that was Grandma
when she was a man?

-[Jheri] That's right.
-Yeah.

There's Mom, and
that's March 5th, '73,

that's when she's
still pregnant with me.

Yeah, she's pregnant
with your dad right there,

you can see that
she's pregnant with him.

[Wade] That's me as a baby.

-Fourteen days old.
-Yeah.

Ah, now that's, what,
a teenager?

Yeah, says teenager.

That's my mom as a teenager.

She was like my best friend,
we worked in a beauty shop.

We were like girlfriends.

This is probably, what, about
the time y'all were married?

[Jheri] Yeah.

And that was
me and her with Brad

before any of the kids
were born.

[Wade] Wow, check that
hair out. [chuckles]

I guess that was the style
back then, wasn't it?

Yeah, this was in 1965,

we was engaged to be married.

Now that's a good picture
of me, you, Brad, and--

Yeah.

[chuckles]

That's the headstone
at my mom's grave.

-Where's she buried at?
-[Jheri] That's at
White Stones Baptist Church.

-[Wade] She was... 59.
-59 years old.

I haven't seen those pictures.

Well, I think I have
when I was little,

but I didn't know
who that person was.

I thought that was, like,
an uncle or something,

but now, to know
that it's my grandma.

Like the only--
She's my favorite
grandma, in a sense.

She's got something special.

She's a "grandmapa."

[piano plays]

[all singing] ♪ Amen

♪ Amen

[applause]

♪ Amen

Do you gentlemen
wish to support
Safe Harbor Family Church

with your presence,
your prayers,
and your blessings?

-Yes.
-Yeah.

Do you, as Brad and Trevor,

as your church family wishes
to love them in Christ, Jesus,

and will you accept them
for who they are,

and pray for them?

[crowd] Yes.

As your pastor, I will do
the best that I can

to listen to you, to pray
for you, to challenge you,

and to feed you the word of
God, as well from my heart.

Welcome.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

-[applause]
-Amen.

[piano plays]

Been a long time coming, huh?
[chuckles]

♪ May your love grow

♪ May it overflow

♪ And spread around
to everyone else ♪

♪ May your love grow

♪ May it overflow

♪ And spread around
to everyone else ♪

[Trevor] Safe Harbor
has taught me

that God has a plan
for all of us,

and he made me
the way I am for a reason.

[man]
Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Thank you.

-Thank you.
-Long time coming, huh?

Hello.

I'm Wayne.

I'm glad I'm here.

How's it feel knowing that
we're official members now?

Oh, it feels good.

[Trevor]
Plant another tomato plant?

Two more.

Hopefully they'll cover
all that up there.

They'll grow and spread out
and we'll have tomatoes,

lots of tomatoes.

I'm secure enough
with myself now,

I don't need attention, at all.

It's nice to get it,
but I'd like to have
the right kind of attention

Positive attention.

Went to this new
Mexican restaurant out here,

it was a real nice restaurant,

and this waiter, he was just,
you know, winking and flirting,

and Trevor got pissed off
'cause he wasn't

-paying him no attention.
-No, I wasn't jealous,

I mean, he was cute,
I'm gonna give him that.

You acknowledge everyone
there at the table.

I'm an old lady, I don't
have any sex life left,

my romance is gone,
give me a little break here.

I need all the flirting
I can get.

He was probably
just patronizing me,

but it was fun,
I need to be patronized,

-in that particular way.
-Okay.

[Nick] What about
this song, Grandma?

[plays song on phone]

Gosh, is that what
you look at all day?

[Brad] That's what
he's into, rap music.

[Jheri] Ah, good grief,
Nicholas!

God, here's a song
you might like then, damn.

[plays song on phone]

I can live with that.

[Jheri] I'm beginning to feel
a lot closer to Nick.

He does not make me
feel bad about this.

He's been there for me so far,
I hope he always will be.

Well, if you wanna be
a big hit with the ladies,

that's what you
should listen to.

And my granddaughter
seems to have

the same regard
for me as before.

It's not just about us,

you're part of
a larger picture.

It's about our siblings,

our parents, our ancestors,

and it all contributed
to who you are,

and if there's enough love
there, you can overcome.

[man] All right, so,
you're doing a box-step,

backwards slow.

Here we go, ready, and slow,

quick whip, slow,
quick whip, slow,

quick whip, slow.
Rock and wrap,

roll her out.

[Jheri]
I don't look at it like

I'm approaching
my expiration date,

and just sort of give up,

I still challenge myself.

I'm still in love
with life, and I'm still
trying to grow up.

[upbeat music]

I'm past wondering about it,
I just try to be me.

After all's said and done,
we have to be true to ourselves.

We have to be who we are,
come what may. [chuckles]

C'est la vie.

There you go.

Good, look right
up here for me.

-[shutter clicking]
-Good.

-Y'all been practicing.
-[laughter]

Good, everybody's good.

Y'all come
a little closer together.

Fantastic.

Good. [chuckles]

[continues, indistinct]

Thank you, good job.