Original subtitles

Are you ready for this unveiling?

[chuckles]

Check out the platforms.

Are those not the most... Is that Madonna, or what?

[chuckles]

Hmm... What do you think?

-[cameraman] Very nice, Jheri. -[Jheri chuckles]

Not too bad for 74.

Oh.

♪ A kiss on the hand may be

♪ But diamonds are a girl's best friend ♪

As long as I'm able to get to that bathroom,

and get to my makeup mirror and my makeup,

and honey, I'm gonna be pumping this hair, and spraying it,

putting on that makeup, and, yes, ma'am,

I don't intend to go outta here looking like

no cotton-picking old hag.

Yes, I wanna look nice, it's because all those years

of having to live as a man,

and wanting to buy pretty clothes, dress up,

wanting to just be me, and I couldn't.

[children chatter]

[train whistle blows]

[dog barking]

[dance music]

I don't have a partner, but I can dance.

[Spanish accent] Hey, hombre, what are you doing in a place like this, baby?

[kisses forehead] Mm?

You come to see Chiquita?

-Yes. -That tickles, stop it.

You no like Conchita?

I kill you, you Yankee pig.

-Stop, I'm ticklish. -[chuckles]

There was a time that I met this guy at the disco

who was dressed up like John Wayne.

And he was so masculine and so fine,

and we just hit it off really well,

and I just thought, oh, I had just struck gold.

So anyway, um...

somehow we ended up at his motel room.

Yes, he was wearing ladies' undergarments,

and he was throwing himself on the bed,

and hollering, "Spank me, oh!"

And do all kinds of terrible...

He was into some kind of weird scene,

and so I got out of there real quick and went home.

Two of my four sons reside here with me.

We lived apart for several years,

and after my ex had passed away,

they, um, I talked them into selling the house and moving with me,

and we would be back together like a family again.

So, it's worked out pretty well.

It gets a little trying sometimes,

but, um, it helps that I'm on one end of the house

and they're on the other, so I have a certain degree of privacy.

And, um...

But other than that, we bicker, and we fuss, and we argue.

But we love each other, and we're very supportive.

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day and for this food

and for the privilege of sharing all of this together,

the joy, and the sorrow,

the good food, the laughter,

another day together, and we pray for many more to come,

in the name of Jesus we pray, amen.

-Amen. -Now, yes.

What was it Jean Harlow said?

I'm gonna slip into something more comfortable?

Okay, pantyhose.

Oh, they've come out with pantyhose for men now.

It's not easy being transgender,

Every day, it's a challenge.

You can use all the willpower you have

to try to keep this in the shadows,

at some point, it's going to come out in the open,

and you cannot fight it.

[sighs]

What women have to go through.

By the time I decided to do something,

I was in my late 30s, I had four small children,

I had to confront the wife and go through the divorce,

change jobs, start a whole new way of life.

Oh, did I tell you I used to be a hairdresser and cosmetologist?

For about six years, oh yes.

Um, school teacher, nine years.

An accountant.

I've done everything but be a stripper.

I haven't tried that yet,

I'm not real good about swinging around poles.

The doctors in Jackson at that time,

none of them were treating transgender people,

and they didn't want to talk about it,

they didn't want anything to do with it.

But, the surgery was always uppermost in my mind.

I struggled for years to raise the money

because I was helping support my four children,

and then I sought out a reputable surgeon

in Brussels, Belgium.

At that time, I was 60 years old.

I started out with nothing,

no money, no resources,

it seems like a miracle

that I actually was able to finally achieve this.

Okay.

It's off to face the cruel world.

[Trevor] I guess I thought when I got to the age that I'm at,

it's just I thought, I don't know,

that I would've done more.

And, uh...

I haven't, and it just kinda makes me...

feel... worthless.

I'm trying not to feel so inferior, like...

I like to feel that I matter.

And sometimes I feel that I don't.

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

I decided I needed to change things,

and I hope to get married,

and I hope to find that special person,

and I hope to have kids, and hope to have a family.

I haven't found that person yet,

but like I said, I hope to.

There's a lot I want, and there's a lot I want outta this life.

If I... if I could choose everything I wanted,

I guess I'd be a very davishly good-looking playboy,

going from one girl to another girl, but in the end,

I just would rather have somebody I can marry

and maybe grow old with,

'cause to me, that's a beautiful thing.

[Jheri] Oh, okay.

Whoa, immaculate.

Yes.

Oh, and the drawers are closed,

there's no underwear hanging out.

[laughs]

There's no candy wrappers on the floor,

and no coffee cups with green mold growing in them.

-[Brad] And no dead mice under the bed. -[chuckles]

-This is true. -[chuckles]

-Ooh, ooh. -[Trevor chuckles]

[chuckles] I like it, I like it.

["Rock the Boat" by Hues Corporation]

♪ You got the notion

♪ Said I'd like to know where

♪ You got the notion

-♪ To rock the boat -♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't tip the boat over

-♪ Rock the boat -♪ Don't rock the boat, baby

♪ Rock the boat

♪ Ever since our voyage of love began ♪

♪ Your touch has thrilled me like the rush of the wind ♪

♪ And your arms have held me safe from a rolling sea ♪

Ooh!

This is the laboratory. [chuckles]

Okay, where it all happens.

Brad, our oldest, almost died after childbirth,

a day or so after childbirth, with convulsions,

because it was a breech birth and everything,

and it was a difficult birth,

thought probably caused some damage.

He survived, and Brad is doing well.

He's got a weight problem, and I worry about that

because he won't watch what he eats.

I have to work, and he stays at home,

and we can't be with him 24 hours a day.

I remember us growing up,

[indistinct]

Trying to eat more healthier,

so I'm trying to just be more healthy,

and hopefully I can live longer,

because my mom died at 59

and my grandmother died at 59.

This was an old music box

that I got for my mother when she died,

I just kept it up here.

She's in heaven and she's always looking down on me. So...

I may have grew up without a father,

but I always had two loving mothers.

[guitar tuning]

[playing melody]

[Jheri] There was a period of about seven or eight years

I was totally estranged from my children.

I didn't talk to them, I had no contact with them.

This was due to their mother,

she didn't want the children to be around me.

Those were very painful years.

Emotionally, I was just a wreck.

I wanted to see my children.

This picture was us... It's filthy.

This was... It's a little damaged right here,

but this was us 1994, Thanksgiving Day.

[voice shaking] I missed my dad for a while...

and, um... it'll always stand out

as the most important Thanksgiving to me,

because it was special.

You know, we hadn't talked for years.

It was like rediscovering my dad... my father all over again.

I had wondered why Jheri wasn't a part of my life,

I guess part of me was wondering

whether or not Jheri still loved me, and, um...

part of it I didn't understand

was that our mama did not want Jheri around.

[Jheri] Once I really got into the crossdressing

and living totally as female, before the surgery,

then of course, that's where the visits were suspended.

I don't know, I guess I thought that your life was just so important

that you couldn't take time out to see us, you know?

[Jheri] Well, apparently, she never did explain.

Yeah.

She told me just before she died

that she still loved you as a friend.

Did you know that?

You have to know that your mother was...

was in her own way, a very special person.

You know, Momma, when you weren't there,

she had to try... she tried to play mother and father,

which I know wasn't easy on her, you know.

[Jheri] Yes.

Especially when you weren't there.

That's right.

There's no possible way I would ever have deserted you,

I never would've deserted you, under any circumstances.

I don't know, I guess that I hadn't called you Dad in so long,

that's what was really depressing me,

because in a way, I had missed you,

I had missed calling you Dad.

[Jheri] So this is what our new balance is right here.

Hopefully next week's gonna be good.

[Wade] I own a small mobile locksmith company.

Jheri handles all my accounting.

In a lot of ways, we may not have the typical parent-child relationship,

but I think it's a good relationship.

I remember the first time hearing

that Dad was moving out,

and I don't even remember how old I was,

I do remember saying that, "Well, if that's the case,

I'm gonna go live with Dad,"

and it was explained to me that that wasn't possible.

Wade cried, he took it really hard,

and it just broke both our hearts.

I was either just getting out of high school,

maybe it was my last year,

the first time I had seen her again.

I worked up at the food court at Metro Center,

-at the pizza place. -[Jheri] Yes, you did. [chuckles]

Sbarros, I remember.

I think maybe it was the first time

I'd ever seen her dressed as a woman,

and I have to admit,

first laying eyes on her after all that time,

it did take me back a little bit,

I didn't know how to react,

and I think she didn't know either, it was kinda awkward.

She came up to the counter and said hey,

and I said hey back.

We got the door open, but it was kind of a strange day.

But I'm glad she did.

My kids, Nick and Trinity, at this point, do not know,

because they've always called Jheri Grandma.

How do you tell your 14-year-old

and your soon to be 13-year-old daughter

that their grandma is,

technically speaking, their grandfather?

And that, "Your actual grandma has been dead for years"?

I would love to tell 'em, just to be honest with 'em,

because I don't want it to be like my mom never existed.

'Cause Nick has asked about my dad a couple times,

and I've deflected the question,

because I wasn't really sure what to say.

"Son, you already met my dad.

You're over there most days."

How do you wrap your head around that, you know?

At 14 years old?

You come from a long line of Joneses, baby,

we know they are just almost an extinct species.

I'd like to go to my grave

knowing that you're finally gonna get married

and have beautiful children, Jones children,

that will carry on the family name.

[Nick] Me?

-Yes, you, Nick. -Yes, you, Nick.

All right.

In my family, you're the only Jones,

my brothers didn't have any Jones grandsons, but I did.

-Are we ready? -Yeah.

Okay.

Heavenly Father, thank you for this generous food,

in Jesus' name we pray, amen.

Amen.

[Jheri] It's not comfortable

when you are hiding something from people.

It preys on your mind every day, and you worry.

At first, I was really scared, I thought, "Oh my God,

how are the grandchildren going to deal with this?

Am I going to be rejected,

are they not gonna wanna see me anymore?"

And I certainly don't wanna put an extra challenge on them.

I know how cruel your peer group can be

when you're an adolescent or in high school,

I went through all of that bullying,

so I wanna spare them that.

You can do whatever you want here, basically.

Usually hang with my homies.

I know the homies are down there right now.

I usually run around here, walk around here,

I do what I do, ain't a big deal.

[barking]

It's not the best place, but you make a lotta friends here.

I might join the military, I don't know.

I still gotta think about it some more,

you know what I'm saying?

[Jheri] I grew up in Mississippi,

which they called a closed society at that time.

We had the segregation system and all of that going on.

That was a scary time to be different.

Grew up in a big old farmhouse out in the country,

and my dad had cotton fields and cornfields.

I had two brothers and three sisters.

We didn't have anything, materially, much.

I was aware very early on

that I was expected to behave a certain way,

that boys dressed and acted a certain way,

and I knew I couldn't even feel comfortable with that.

I would go out to the barns and dress up in girls' clothes

and play by myself.

They were distressed about my behavior.

I would hear them whispering and talking about it,

and, "Maybe we should apply a more stringent punishment,"

and of course, years later,

I had to tell them what was going on.

And it was... I told them, they were very quiet,

they didn't say anything, really.

My father, he was dying, and he had cancer,

and I came to see him,

and I wasn't fully cross-dressed,

but my parents had changed a lot,

and he was just so happy to see me.

And, um, he said...

I reached down, and kissed him, and I held his hand,

he said, "I'm so glad you're here,"

he said, "Nothing else really matters but that you're here."

[voice shaking] And that's a moment I remember.

This is my mommy.

And my daddy.

My mother wrote me a letter not long before she passed away,

and in it, she wrote,

"To my darling daughter on her birthday,"

and that meant more to me than anything, and I still have it.

And it was very precious to me.

That was like, "It's okay, I accept you as you are."

That's what she was saying.

[exhales loudly]

Ooh.

[Jheri] Hey, darling.

[nurse] I thought you were gonna do the hug?

[Jheri chuckles]

[indistinct chatter]

[woman] Where the hug at, Trent?

[Jheri] He's probably upset with us

because we hadn't been up in a while.

[nurse chuckles] Wait a minute, Trent,

you didn't give nobody no hug.

[Jheri] Trent, Trevor's brother, they are fraternal twins,

but Trent is schizophrenic with symptoms of autism.

His mother managed to get him put into a home,

but at that time, we were estranged,

and there was the separation, so, in a way, it was good news,

but yet, it was distressing for me too.

[Trent] I see Wendy's over there.

Yeah, we're just about coming right on it.

He loves Wendy's.

Don't you, sugar bun?

Your brother was very sad that he didn't get to come and see you.

-Yeah. -He was crying the other night,

and very sad about not being able to come up and visit you,

he misses you. Okay?

Yeah, Trevor had to work.

Yeah. He had no time to come see me.

That's how I feel, alone, right now, Trent.

I hope my brother Trevor okay.

Oh, he's okay.

I told you, it's too fast.

Don't eat too fast.

Brain freeze.

I told you, don't eat too fast, not too fast.

[dance music playing]

I go to a ballroom dancing class occasionally.

I walk into that place and there's all these couples,

they all have husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends,

partners, and I'm alone, so I stand out from the crowd.

I would like to have an affectionate,

intimate relationship with a man,

whatever the age.

I would like to keep the door open

and the possibility of that.

It's difficult to really find

a good, solid relationship with someone,

and then there's always the problem of how far do you go

without telling them about your situation,

who you are, and how you arrived at this point,

and, very often, you're gonna get rejection,

a lot of rejection.

And, um...

Of course, before the surgery, it was more than rejection,

it was almost the threat of murder.

[people singing hymn]

♪ On his cresting in the sky

♪ But if we are in his keeping ♪

♪ He will guide us with his eye ♪

♪ He will guide us with his eye ♪

♪ On his promise, I rely

♪ On the way from Earth to glory ♪

♪ He will guide me with his eye ♪

What is it that God is?

God is love.

Brethren, one day, we're gonna be love.

Now you might look at your own experience and say,

"I suffer, I suffer daily,"

but you and I, we suffer because of sin in our flesh.

And I'm gonna cause you to remember your own evil ways,

I'm gonna cause you to remember your former ways,

the things you used to do.

You know they're contrary to the will of God,

and it's gonna cause you grief.

We shall be delivered,

and may God bless you and keep you as my prayer.

♪ Amazing grace

♪ How sweet the sound

My religious beliefs and my faith is everything.

There's people out there that would tell me point blank,

"You're going to hell."

and I'd just say, "Lord, I don't understand it,

I'm gonna leave it in your hands,

and you're the one who has the final answer,"

and that's where I leave it.

♪ Was blind, but now I see

I'm very, very proud of Brad,

of what he's accomplished, what he's able to do.

He helps me keep house, take care of the yard,

he is very considerate,

and hopefully I'm gonna see a drop in the weight.

[Brad] I just gotta bring myself to do this

'cause as much as I'd get a burger or fries, Coke.

After a while, I started gaining all this weight.

Going to the gym,

that's what you get.

Try to come on, here I am.

My mother, we were very close.

But I do believe

that when your loved ones pass,

they do protect you.

[Jheri] My ex, I met her in a beauty shop where I was working.

She and I developed a strong bond as friends and coworkers,

and I just adored her.

I was obsessed with getting married and having children,

and I wanted this problem to go away,

and so she became the person I would marry.

Within a year or two, I realized I was playing a role,

that this wasn't who I was.

And I wanted to please my parents,

I wanted to please society,

I wanted to be what they wanted me to be,

and I couldn't.

And of course, it broke her heart when I explained to her,

when all this came to a head and I told her.

It's hard for me to forgive myself for it,

even though I know I had to do what I had to do.

She just gave up on herself.

And she gained hundreds of pounds,

and she was so heavy, she could not get up out of a chair,

and she literally killed herself over time.

She forced Trevor to drop out of school,

against my knowledge, and forced him to stay home

and take care of her and wait on her.

That did a lot of damage to him,

and now, he has to have somebody he can blame for that,

he has to have a target for that anger,

and I'm the available target.

[Wade] This is where we definitely saw Momma go downhill.

And you more than anybody.

Yeah.

But towards the end, she just...

her weight and her lack of mobility,

-it just got very depressing. -Yeah.

Especially to watch that happen to somebody that you love.

I don't know, I think at some point she just kinda gave up.

At the time, I was just like, "I need to get away from here."

I think I felt like this place was suffocating me.

And I know that sounds pretty selfish,

but that's how I felt about it.

[Trevor] And I was left being forced to take care of Momma.

First of all, I didn't demand anything, I asked you,

and then you blow up at me.

Will you stop, please, and listen?

I heard all this before, you told me all this.

No, you haven't.

You think everything is about you,

when it stops being about you, you get pissed off about it.

Oh, God.

[Jheri] What you are lacking in, Trevor, is compassion.

I'm sorry, I am a damaged person,

I have been to hell and back and I am damaged.

[Trevor] I try to understand you, I believe you.

Well, I'm gonna be in a lotta pain till the day

I draw my last breath, I'm gonna be in pain.

[Trevor] This is why we don't grow as a family,

because we don't talk.

So you go on, do the same thing you've done for generations,

don't listen.

I'm trying to tell you one more point.

[Jheri] Alright, what's your point?

You shut me out sometimes

and I'm literally at your feet begging you to listen to me.

I'm hurting, and all you care about

is what is going on in Jheri's fucking world,

you don't give a shit what's going on in mine,

that's why I'm so angry!

[Jheri] I remember my daddy walking out to the watermelon hedge,

he could always tell if it was ripe or not,

he'd just... you know.

Oh yes, mm.

Mm, yes.

-See, this is good. -Yes.

Trevor's going through a lot of things right now,

he's still in the process of sorting out

a lot of issues in his life and his feelings,

And... so I'm trying to be patient with him because of that.

Yeah, me too.

And it's very hard because he can be very, very abusive.

He's angry, a lot of anger.

He knows we love him.

That's why we...

I wasn't there for him when he was growing up

like I was supposed to be,

so he's gonna make me pay for it

for the rest of my life.

This is a very toxic situation,

and hopefully it's gonna get better, but, I don't know.

♪ Sweetest phrases the world has ever known ♪

♪ And maybe I'll send them all to you ♪

♪ Yes, maybe

I was already at the point where I was really depressed,

really mad, and I knew what was wrong.

It just got worse and worse.

It's hard to describe,

you know how when you blow a balloon up,

and it just gets bigger and bigger,

and eventually, if you just keep on blowing,

it's just gonna pop. Well, that's what I felt like inside,

like all this pressure, I was about to explode,

till finally, I said, "You know what, Jheri,

there's something I got to tell you."

The truth is I am gay, I don't care,

I don't care you know, some people are gonna accept it,

some people are not, but...

it is who I am.

Why I didn't come out years before,

because my mother was a Jehovah's Witness,

and she talked down on homosexuality.

It was a sin, it was wrong, "God frowns on that,"

that kinda stuff, and that's why I never could...

you know...

I never could come out then.

[Jheri] If I start crying, I'll never stop,

so I have to keep the dam under control.

I've shed enough tears in my lifetime

to fill an ocean anyway.

It's okay.

Sweet little sister.

Okay.

[Trevor] Howdy, howdy.

How you doing, Jher?

[Jheri] I'm okay.

What's wrong?

Every time there's a death in the family,

either I'm not told about it,

so I won't show up at the funeral,

or either if I do show up...

and during the eulogy, the preacher...

when it comes to time to read off the list of survivors...

and I'm sitting there holding my breath, or I...

"Oh, maybe they're gonna get it right this time,"

and yesterday, at my sister's funeral,

he's reading off the list of survivors,

"She is survived by her children," and he names them,

and lots of grandchildren.

"Also, she's survived by her...

brothers.

Brothers.

Roger Jones and Jerry Jones, of Pearl, Mississippi."

[sighs]

They...

could not say, "Her sister, Jheri Jones".

So when the family went to him and told him to--

Why are you letting this upset you so much?

Because it's disrespectful, it's patronizing,

it's degrading, its humiliating, that's why.

When we first got back together,

it took us a while to learn how to use

the word "she" instead of "he."

Maybe they don't wanna give up

thinking of you as their brother.

Oh dear, what a loss.

My little sister, God rest her soul,

she saw me as her sister, we had no problems with it.

It breaks my heart.

I just wish the rest of my extended family...

could do that.

I wish they could give me that kind of respect.

[indistinct chatter]

Do you have boxing today?

Yeah.

-[Jheri] You do? -Mm-hmm.

[Jheri] Welterweight champion of the world.

[Nick ] I used to be, like, I didn't give a crap about this thing,

but now, kinda just decided to be nice.

I would always wonder why he would always call

Grandma "Jheri" and not "Mom,"

I'm like, "That's weird,"

if she was my mom, I would call her Mom all the time.

And even Uncle Trevor will call her Jheri, and not Mom.

I always wondered what happened to Grandpa.

And Grandma, which, Jheri,

would say that she got rid of Grandpa a long time ago.

My grandson has begun to ask his father,

"Who was your dad?

'Cause you never talk about it."

and Trinity, my granddaughter, she's very quiet,

she keeps her thoughts to herself.

It's just very difficult, very difficult.

[exhales]

That's what terrifies me,

I'm going to grow into this very old, decrepit person,

my grandchildren won't speak to me,

and that's a terrible thought.

I would do anything to prevent that from happening,

but I don't know what I can do.

It's heartbreaking.

Mmm.

So I don't know.

[Trevor] What the hell?

Knowing in the back of my head that my bedroom's a complete disaster depresses me,

because it's, like, my sanctuary.

[sighs]

[sighs]

When I came out,

I hadn't been with anyone, male or female.

I was 36 years old, I didn't wanna be the 40-year-old virgin,

like in that movie where the guy waited till he was,

like, 40 to lose his virginity.

I didn't wanna be a laughing joke,

but also-- and it was also the fact

that I finally lost my virginity,

but I finally figured out, "This is who I am."

It's-- you know, it's something I had denied,

and I was finally able to finally come to terms with it,

and the truth can be something that can either set you free

or it can destroy you.

I haven't pulled this thing out in a while.

This was a Mother's Day card

I gave to Momma on Mother's Day.

It said, "Thanks for being a loving,

compassionate, and understanding mother,

and that's why we think you're the greatest mother in the world."

[sniffs]

Going to her graveside

and finally admitting to Momma that I'm gay

would in a way help me to let go of certain things.

[crying] Hey, Momma.

[sniffling]

I promised you that one day I would get married,

and I would have kids.

I don't think that's gonna happen, Momma.

Momma, I'm gay.

[crying] I know you taught me that homosexuality was a sin

and God frowns upon that,

but I'm not sorry for coming out.

Maybe we'll see each other on the other side one day, okay?

Momma, till then, just know I love you.

I'm glad that Mom never lived to see them come out to her,

because it woulda been hard for her. Very hard.

After what happened between her and myself,

and her and the marriage and all,

it woulda been too much for her to take, I think.

I like to think she's in a better place now,

where she has perfect understanding,

she's been endowed with a heavenly understanding of things,

and that she can understand now,

when she couldn't have here.

[car starts]

[Brad] Trevor being gay, he does seem a lot happier.

Like I told Trevor,

you've got to feel comfortable in your own skin.

That's a gay pride bracelet.

And this is one of the ways I express myself.

I had a dream where I was married,

and I dreamed that I had a child.

It looked like me,

teeth were normal, was actually perfect.

I always wondered what my life woulda been like

if I was normal, and didn't have the problems I have.

It's our nature to have a companion in our life.

Because of my situation, it's gonna be hard.

I am gonna keep on trying, I'm not gonna give up.

[Trevor] I'm doing just fine.

I went out with the drag queen dude last night.

It went wonderful actually.

Yeah, I'm still trying to wake up,

but it was worth it, so I ain't really complaining.

[chuckles]

Now that I've come out of the closet,

my whole life has changed, I actually have a life,

and I'm dating, and all that kinda stuff,

and I'm also enjoying all this attention.

You know, I mean...

Growing up, or partly because I was, you know,

the way I was treated when I was in school,

which now I can probably see maybe they could sense I was gay,

maybe that had something to do with it, you know, why I was picked on,

but it made me feel bad about myself,

but now, I'm on some dating sites and stuff.

They'll actually tell me I'm handsome, I'm cute,

I'm pretty, and sexy, and whatever,

and I'm like, "Well, thank you very much."

After what happened to me,

I would rather they have not had to deal with any of this,

being different, in any way,

so it's not easy, but--

[Trevor] Well, you know I didn't ask to be this way.

Mm-mm.

'Cause you know I fought this for years.

[Jheri] Oh, yeah.

[Jheri] He came out and started all his new life

at the same age that I was when I started mine.

He was scared to death I was not going to accept him,

and I couldn't believe it.

I said, "Sweetie, why would I not be there for you?

You were there for me."

[upbeat music]

Hello, how are you doing?

[man] All right, how are y'all doing today?

Doing good.

[Jheri] How about that? [laughs]

[Trevor] Let me see, Trent.

[Jheri] He looks like Sherlock Holmes.

[Brad] You did a good drawing.

[Jheri] Trent, I didn't know you had that kinda talent.

He's got a hat and an earring, mustache and beard right here.

[Jheri chuckles]

Okay.

[Jheri] Hooray.

Trent, we need to take some pictures.

All right, put your arm around me like this.

Oh, that's sweet.

-Now, Trent. Turn around. -In my pockets.

I'm here, put your arm around me.

At the Singin' River Hospital.

Put your other arm down.

There you go. Okay.

[Jheri chuckles]

If I was a multimillionaire,

I'd take him out of this place so fast,

and I would hire somebody

to personally take care of him for me,

and give him his medication, and everything else.

I can't manage him myself at home,

if I could, I would have him at home.

[dog barks]

Hello.

Hello, Chris.

Hello.

[Jheri] Are you having a good day?

Yeah, I enjoyed dealing with Dell customers all day,

how was your day?

[Trevor] Chris is a really wonderful friend,

I met him through a dating site.

Pretty comfy sitting here.

[chuckles] They don't pick up the phone

and call people anymore,

they tweet 'em, and twerk 'em, and google 'em...

Alright, baby, do your thing.

There you go.

[Brad] There you go, now it's catching.

You're gonna keep me warm tonight, aren't you?

Only if you ask nice.

[Jheri] Even Martha Stewart couldn't do this.

There we go.

[Wade] With the being head of house,

and the two kids, and all that stuff,

I'll probably still get a refund.

Plus an earned income credit and all that other stuff.

[Jheri] Yeah, you're still around the poverty line, see what I mean?

So you shouldn't have to pay anything.

We just about got ourselves out of the hole

that we were in.

[Jheri] We're just about back on top again.

And, oh, I've heard people that know you

say such kind and nice things about you, how hard you work.

For a time there, I thought I was gonna have to

go get something for anxiety,

but her faith in me has gotten me through a lotta this.

My kids, well, they figured out that my mom had died,

just because of what they heard,

so, they were like, "Well, who is Jheri,

and how is she related?"

I'm like, "Well, Jheri's my dad."

It was a big weight off my shoulders

because I wasn't sure how I was gonna approach it.

They probably coulda handled this earlier.

I think maybe it was me that couldn't handle it.

Jheri's not perfect, but neither am I.

She's been there, and sometimes,

that means more than anything.

They're great kids, I'm very blessed. They're very smart.

But my family's everything.

There's no other way to put it, they are everything.

It's shocking.

When I first heard, I'm like,

"Oh my gosh, my grandma... was a man."

It kinda messed my whole viewpoint up with the family,

I was, like, "If Grandma is my mom's dad..."

So that means she had to marry somebody to have my dad.

I would like to talk to him,

'cause I don't know much about my grandma.

Probably help. They'll probably give me some answers.

[exhales loudly]

I am just-- My nerves, Brad, I've gotta have some coffee, my nerves is just--

[Brad] I put some coffee right here, it's right here.

My nerves is just shattered, shattered.

I just hope-- I hope he doesn't turn against me,

or this doesn't interfere with our relationship in any way,

I hope he's able to absorb it and deal with it.

[Wade] There we go, that's Jheri, that's 1973.

[Jheri] Yeah, I was in a play.

That's April, so I was, like, not quite a month old.

So that was Grandma when she was a man?

-[Jheri] That's right. -Yeah.

There's Mom, and that's March 5th, '73,

that's when she's still pregnant with me.

Yeah, she's pregnant with your dad right there,

you can see that she's pregnant with him.

[Wade] That's me as a baby.

-Fourteen days old. -Yeah.

Ah, now that's, what, a teenager?

Yeah, says teenager.

That's my mom as a teenager.

She was like my best friend, we worked in a beauty shop.

We were like girlfriends.

This is probably, what, about the time y'all were married?

[Jheri] Yeah.

And that was me and her with Brad

before any of the kids were born.

[Wade] Wow, check that hair out. [chuckles]

I guess that was the style back then, wasn't it?

Yeah, this was in 1965,

we was engaged to be married.

Now that's a good picture of me, you, Brad, and--

Yeah.

[chuckles]

That's the headstone at my mom's grave.

-Where's she buried at? -[Jheri] That's at White Stones Baptist Church.

-[Wade] She was... 59. -59 years old.

I haven't seen those pictures.

Well, I think I have when I was little,

but I didn't know who that person was.

I thought that was, like, an uncle or something,

but now, to know that it's my grandma.

Like the only-- She's my favorite grandma, in a sense.

She's got something special.

She's a "grandmapa."

[piano plays]

[all singing] ♪ Amen

♪ Amen

[applause]

♪ Amen

Do you gentlemen wish to support Safe Harbor Family Church

with your presence, your prayers, and your blessings?

-Yes. -Yeah.

Do you, as Brad and Trevor,

as your church family wishes to love them in Christ, Jesus,

and will you accept them for who they are,

and pray for them?

[crowd] Yes.

As your pastor, I will do the best that I can

to listen to you, to pray for you, to challenge you,

and to feed you the word of God, as well from my heart.

Welcome.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

-[applause] -Amen.

[piano plays]

Been a long time coming, huh? [chuckles]

♪ May your love grow

♪ May it overflow

♪ And spread around to everyone else ♪

♪ May your love grow

♪ May it overflow

♪ And spread around to everyone else ♪

[Trevor] Safe Harbor has taught me

that God has a plan for all of us,

and he made me the way I am for a reason.

[man] Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Thank you.

-Thank you. -Long time coming, huh?

Hello.

I'm Wayne.

I'm glad I'm here.

How's it feel knowing that we're official members now?

Oh, it feels good.

[Trevor] Plant another tomato plant?

Two more.

Hopefully they'll cover all that up there.

They'll grow and spread out and we'll have tomatoes,

lots of tomatoes.

I'm secure enough with myself now,

I don't need attention, at all.

It's nice to get it, but I'd like to have the right kind of attention

Positive attention.

Went to this new Mexican restaurant out here,

it was a real nice restaurant,

and this waiter, he was just, you know, winking and flirting,

and Trevor got pissed off 'cause he wasn't

-paying him no attention. -No, I wasn't jealous,

I mean, he was cute, I'm gonna give him that.

You acknowledge everyone there at the table.

I'm an old lady, I don't have any sex life left,

my romance is gone, give me a little break here.

I need all the flirting I can get.

He was probably just patronizing me,

but it was fun, I need to be patronized,

-in that particular way. -Okay.

[Nick] What about this song, Grandma?

[plays song on phone]

Gosh, is that what you look at all day?

[Brad] That's what he's into, rap music.

[Jheri] Ah, good grief, Nicholas!

God, here's a song you might like then, damn.

[plays song on phone]

I can live with that.

[Jheri] I'm beginning to feel a lot closer to Nick.

He does not make me feel bad about this.

He's been there for me so far, I hope he always will be.

Well, if you wanna be a big hit with the ladies,

that's what you should listen to.

And my granddaughter seems to have

the same regard for me as before.

It's not just about us,

you're part of a larger picture.

It's about our siblings,

our parents, our ancestors,

and it all contributed to who you are,

and if there's enough love there, you can overcome.

[man] All right, so, you're doing a box-step,

backwards slow.

Here we go, ready, and slow,

quick whip, slow, quick whip, slow,

quick whip, slow. Rock and wrap,

roll her out.

[Jheri] I don't look at it like

I'm approaching my expiration date,

and just sort of give up,

I still challenge myself.

I'm still in love with life, and I'm still trying to grow up.

[upbeat music]

I'm past wondering about it, I just try to be me.

After all's said and done, we have to be true to ourselves.

We have to be who we are, come what may. [chuckles]

C'est la vie.

There you go.

Good, look right up here for me.

-[shutter clicking] -Good.

-Y'all been practicing. -[laughter]

Good, everybody's good.

Y'all come a little closer together.

Fantastic.

Good. [chuckles]

[continues, indistinct]

Thank you, good job.