Original subtitles

[panting]

[laughs] I love summertime!

Oh, Honey, you got to get in on this.

I mean, if we're doing stupid couple things,

I guess--oh!

Whoo!

Right? Whoo!

- Whoo-hoo! - Hoo-hoo-hoo!

I hate to be that possum,

but could you guys keep it down?

Trying to get these dirt dumplings to sleep.

Oh, hey, Possum. How you doing?

Ugh, you know kids.

Cayden won't eat spiders, Brayden only eats spiders,

and Jayden's just an idiot.

It's exhausting.

If you need a night off,

we could babysit those ugly little dudes.

Chief, we wouldn't want to impose.

[baby possums squeaking] - Please , we insist.

I insist that we not insist.

I might take you guys up on that.

Life's been hard since my mate was run over

by that electric scooter--

Oh, my God! Why is life so unfair?

He's talking about the sprinkler

shutting off, isn't he?

'Fraid so.

[sobbing] No!

[upbeat rock music]

♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪

♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪

♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪

♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪

- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪

- ♪ Ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow ♪

- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪

- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪

- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪

[music crescendos]

♪ ♪

[soft music]

Ahh.

Hey, who put itching powder in my sleeping bag?

[chuckles] - [chittering]

Ahh, Honey!

I've got a giant tick!

That's not a tick. It's a baby possum.

It's all six babies.

Papa Possum obviously took you up on your offer.

[groans] I didn't mean tonight.

I meant, wait a few months and forget we ever talked.

Doesn't he know how favors work?

Well, now we don't have a choice.

These motherless little cretins with ghoulish eyes

and no fur on their weird scaly tails need us.

Aw, you're right.

Anyway, I think tonight's your night with the kids.

[snores]

You're always like, "We can do this.

"We would love to help.

We will be there with bells on."

[guffaws]

But "we" really means me!

What? When has that ever happened?

"Of course, Raccoon,

we'd love to see your one mammal show!"

All those years trying to be good enough,

but I was never gonna be good enough, was I, old man?

No, you're soft!

Oh, where's Chief?

You got this, Honey. Improvise.

Oh, he never had any intention of coming.

I was waiting until he was out of previews.

You're the one who gets us into trouble.

I'm the one who gets us out.

Unless you'd like to step up

and take responsibility for this one.

Nah, you got this. Good night.

Snore, snore, snore.

It just feels like all the cats in my house

have a thing, you know?

The athletic one's athletic, the mashed potato one

loves '50s dance crazes.

I'm just the Gray One? - Shh, shh, shh.

Yeah, you're right.

Who do I think I am, the interesting one?

Keep your voice down, Gray One.

I just finally got these monsters to sleep.

[possums growling]

Balancing work and one day of childcare is not easy.

Sorry I'm late, everyone.

[sniffs and gags] What is that smell?

There's a massive turd on your shell, Shel!

What? Again?

Ew, you poop on your own back?

Let's not kink shame.

I didn't do it. You see,

[percussive music] In summer, I like to sleep

beneath the starry sky

to soak up erotic energy from the cosmos.

But recently,

some fecal felon has turned me into his upside-down bedpan.

And that garden gnome just stands there and does nothing.

What good is that creep if he's not watching my back?

I think we all know who's responsible for this,

a nocturnal!

Ugh, nocturnal animals

are what the day scrapes off its shoe

when it goes to bed at night.

You guys know I'm nocturnal, right?

Absolutely. You're terrifying.

Uh, which animals are nocturnal again?

Skunks, bats--

- Jared Leto. - Owls--

Owls?

Good night, Grandpa.

When I'm close to you, nothing bad can ever happen.

- [screeches] - Ahh!

[coughs]

How about a good night kiss for Grandpa?

Ahh!

Ahh!

Nocturnals are monsters!

They're monsters, I say!

Well, let's not let one bad owl spoil the whole bunch.

Just because the nocturnal world is different

doesn't mean it's bad.

I mean, look at my precious little nightmares.

[squeaks]

Aww!

Totes adorbs yawns will not sway me.

Those nocturnals are all vicious bowel hounds.

But what's a TILF like me to do?

Vigilante justice!

I say we stay up all night and catch this poop-etrator

in the act and make them pay!

It's more my style to put up with it

and then settle my score with a scathing memoir.

I can't believe he's pushing back on this stopping someone

from pooping on him idea.

Considering none of my enemies can read,

we'll give your way a try.

Whee!

We're going on a stakeout!

Did someone leave a steak out?

No?

Aww, all right.

Is that bum truffle spoken for?

Oh my, look who's up.

Well, good morning-- or good evening.

Precious little opposites. [possums chittering]

[possums hissing] - Ow, ow, ow!

Time out, time out! No, it's me.

It's Aunt Honey. Son of a--

[exciting rock music]

♪ ♪

[barking]

♪ ♪

Who is that?

It's a shell decoy I made from an upside-down tostada!

We just hide behind here, and we catch them in the act.

This tostada tortoise-- or tor-stada if you will--

I won't.

It lacks my authentic sex appeal.

It would never be mistaken for the real me.

Not tonight, Shel.

I'm exhausted.

Trust me, this BM bandit will be back.

And when we catch him, we're gonna rip--

- [snoring] - Are you sleeping?

Ah, ah--oh.

[snoring]

Ugh.

A little pee-pee then back to sleepy.

[gasps]

Oh, no. I'm locked out!

[owl hooting]

Here lies Diablo, eaten by an owl?

How come I can only read in my nightmares?

- Kiss me! - Ahh!

And eventually, we will have danced out all our sillies.

Keep dancing.

I'm just gonna rest my eyes for one quick second.

Auntie Honey's watching.

Nice moves, Jayden.

That's it.

[upbeat piano music]

Wait, what!

How long was that blink?

Sweeties, smushies!

Hideous night creatures?

Did I just lose them?

Is this what failure feels like?

Oh, poor Chief.

Where are you, wretched little darlings?

Honey?

I closed my eyes for one second,

and now the babies are gone.

[gasps] How could you?

Did you consider how poorly this might reflect on me?

What?

I promised Papa Possum

that we would take care of his kids!

Guess it's time for Chief to clean up

Honey's mess for once.

Chief, nothing would make me happier,

but cleaning up messes isn't really your brand.

Yeah, my brand is bad boy chic

But I can diversify. I'll find them.

You couldn't find your own tail.

It's right-- [gasps]

Oh, hey, man.

Okay, Shel.

This guy will have something to put some pep in your step.

Well, if you don't have insurance,

you can just pay me in lint.

All I've got is this creepy doll's head.

Deal.

Next.

Listen, my partner here needs some help

in the stamina department.

Suffering from a bit of e-reptile dysfunction?

[laughs nervously]

Oh, of course not.

[whispering] Let's put a pin in that.

I'll come back tomorrow.

We need him to stay awake all night.

Well, drawing on my wealth of medical expertise,

I'd say...

oh, that's a good one.

Oh, here!

Uh, what the hell is this?

My current side hustle is Big Pharma.

Welcome to Nite Aid.

Okay, I just need some guidance from a nocturnal.

This isn't an information booth.

Buy something or get out.

Nibbles!

Will you please help me find those baby possums?

No, Shel and I are vengeance seeking missiles,

and nothing's gonna knock us off course!

There is a vacant house that's recently

been overtaken by possums.

Look, I'm as liberal as the next dog,

but when you vote for Prop 625, that's what you get.

But take me there.

[security alarm squealing]

You're fine, just ignore it.

Nibbles, I've got to say,

I'm more than a little disappointed

in this so-called energy pill.

Give me another.

No, give me all of them.

I'm starting to think that raccoon

is not really a pharma--

ooh!

Wha-ha! [roars]

We meet again, Mega-Shel!

Mothra.

[dramatic music]

See you in shell!

[foot stomps]

[roars]

[grunts] Roar!

Out of my way, fence!

[grunts]

That's what you get for standing in his way, bitch!

[laughing]

Okay, let's see.

Skunk house, bat house, meth house--

Bingo! Possum house.

[gulps]

Hi, I'm looking for some missing possum babies.

It's okay. I'm a therapist.

[possums chittering]

Are there any in here that you don't recognize?

We ain't possums, poodle. we're opossums.

But I guess we're all the same to you day critters.

No, no, I'm cool. I have a hamster friend.

You think I don't know my own kids,

just 'cause I got 30 or 40 of them?

That's it.

Kids, we're having dog for dinner tonight.

Whoa, whoa, hold on!

Sorry about my friend.

House pets can be such Karens, right?

I'm the Gray One.

I live just up the street in the overtaken by cats house.

Hey, what's the story with your human?

Legally insane but lovely.

Yours? - We ate him.

[gasps]

That is the dream.

The poodle's with me. You can trust her.

Thanks, Gray One.

I'm just worried about the possum babies.

If I don't find them, it'll make it a lot harder

to condescend to my partner.

I'd check out the Beefy Burgers Fun Time

Happy Clown Fun Zone for Kids.

Thank you. Sorry for the mix-up.

And I'm sorry for threatening to feed

your friend to my family.

Oh, so I guess we'll feed the kids your good deeds

for dinner tonight.

You remember how you told me to remind you

when you're being like your mother?

Well, you're being like your mother!

Babies!

If you come back, you can sleep in my big comfy bed!

Raid the fridge! Help me topple the matriarchy!

[whispering] Big comfy bed?

Food? Follow my lead.

Hey, it's us, the babies!

Yeah, babies!

Ya-ga-goo-goo.

Oh! [laughs]

You are the babies!

I did it!

But let's try to be sensitive when I rub Honey's smug,

responsible nose in it.

Hey real quick, what species are we again?

- Possums! - Oh, yeah, yeah, we knew that.

Real marsupial-like.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

[squealing]

Di-eureka!

It's public enemy number two!

[squeals]

Step away from the tostada.

[grunting]

[panting]

- [squeaks] - Mario Kart me!

[grunts]

♪ Do-do-do-do, de-de-de-de, do-do-do-do, de-de-de-de ♪

♪ Do-do-do-do, de-de-de-de ♪ - Ah!

No, I didn't do anything.

I was just hungry. I'm a foodie.

Good!

So you'll enjoy it when I feed you your own ass!

Whoa, Shel!

Listen, my partner's apparently a real loose cannon,

so why not make this easy and admit

that you're the dookie delinquent

who dumped on his shell?

What? No, it couldn't have been me.

I just make little pellets.

They'd roll right off that shell of yours.

Checks out. Might have to let him go.

Oh, my God. I'm good cop?

You tell all your day sleeper creeper pals,

there's a new sheriff in town--

and he's done a lot of drugs!

Wow, this place is hopping.

Rodents, raccoons, roaches--

everything their burgers are probably made of.

Ooh, let's search the ball pit.

Kids love those.

Uh, babies?

[animals squeaking] - Do you hear those sounds?

Uh, babies?

Not yet, but we're making them.

No, everyone in here is procreating!

Licks, get your psychotropic licks.

Oh good, a local businessman.

Sir, sir? - Nice try, narc.

Uh, I got this.

Hey, Cane!

You haven't seen six possum babies in here, have you?

Hm, follow me.

- [wolf whistles] - Hard pass, sir.

♪ ♪

So you know where the babies are?

No, but I know who would know--

the Night Knight.

The Night Night?

Yeah, the second Knight is with a K.

He's the king of the nocturnals.

When the sun goes down, the Night Knight

runs everything-- the sewers, the dumpsters,

this sex-positive play pit.

Those possums of yours? They're working for him now.

But they're just innocent little babies.

If anything happened to them, I wouldn't be able

to live with myself.

At home, with Chief rubbing it in my face.

We have to find them!

- Honey. - Diablo?

What are you doing out here all by yourself?

I got locked out of my house.

I'm terrified! Tell me I'm overreacting!

I can't. You're exactly right reacting.

I've seen things tonight-- horrible things.

But as long as we stick together,

nothing can harm us.

[owl hoots] - Ahh!

Honey, you just said--

I know! I was wrong!

I hope you're happy!

Excuse me, miss? I got a quick pitch.

You can take it or leave it.

What if you didn't eat me?

Silence! Enjoy this flight.

It'll be the last for you.

Well, these are your final moments, Diablo.

You better take it all in.

Wow!

The night doesn't seem as scary from up here.

It's beautiful!

The moonlight dancing on the above-ground jacuzzis

as the stars flicker like a million smartphones

on the fritz!

Are you a poet?

I dabble.

Miss Owl, can we keep flying for a little bit?

Very well.

Before you are consumed,

let us breathe in the beauty of the night.

♪ Come fly with me, my tasty friend ♪

♪ We've got a lovely night to spend ♪

♪ So many splendors up here ♪

♪ Worth pursuing ♪

♪ And though I can't quite tell if you ♪

♪ Are a gopher or a shrew, we'll share some views ♪

♪ Before it's you I'm chewing ♪

Oh there's Chief--

with what even from up here are clearly a bunch of old rats!

Oh, and there's Jared Leto!

♪ Let's take flight, let's take flight ♪

♪ On the wings of the night ♪

♪ Let's take flight ♪

♪ I'll fulfill your fantasy ♪

♪ Please don't swallow me ♪

Oh, what are those little guys doing?

And that one, and that one?

Why are there so many little possums

going through the trash?

♪ It's just a precious sight ♪

♪ On wings of the ♪

♪ Night ♪

- [grunting] - Shel, I'm losing steam.

Really?

I'm still amped from threatening

that flying squirrel.

I want to learn how to roller skate.

Have you ever chewed gum?

Do I have horns?

That's them.

They're the ones that wouldn't let me eat that tor-stada!

Well, well, new sheriff.

We got your message.

Hey, back off of the turtle!

Oh, brought in your day critter goons, huh?

Creepy creatures with--

You guys are the creepy ones!

Honey's gross generalizations are right.

Day versus night fight to the death!

[grunts]

[gasps]

The drugs are wearing off!

Day versus night cuddle puddle?

[groans] Uhh! Stop, we haven't established a safe word!

Honey! Gray One!

Other friends! Whoo!

Diablo! Oh, you're okay!

Let's rip that owl's throat out!

No, no, no, this owl is my friend!

We had a beautiful night together.

I saw two badgers find love. I sang a duet.

I learned our city has a major possum problem.

- Possums? - Yeah, they were everywhere.

Well, not everywhere.

Mainly dumpsters pilfering discarded pharmaceuticals.

Damn this opioid epidemic!

Pharmaceuticals?

That means they must be working for--

both: Raccoon! Raccoon is the Night Knight!

I was right there with you-- maybe slightly before.

So he's got the babies!

Are you talking about possum sextuplets?

Yeah, we've been looking for them all night.

Hey!

If you day critters are trying to help those night babies,

then maybe we shouldn't disembowel you.

And if a friendship can form between an owl and a dog--

Dog? Well, that can't be right.

Then maybe we can all work together

and save those babies!

- Yeah! - Now let's move out!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Target locked in! Go, go, go!

♪ ♪

[squeaks]

[grunts]

[squeals]

♪ ♪

Ooh, sounds like my little drug runners got

more pills for Papa Night Knight--

dang it!

Pretty tidy confession there.

How could you use these repulsive little cherubs

as drug smugglers?

Okay, first off, check your dog privilege.

Not every creature gets to live in a cushy house.

I was teaching them survival skills--

plus sextupling my inventory.

Huh, never would have thought of it that way.

We creatures, night and day, must never judge

that which we don't understand.

Wow, Nibbles, that was oddly rational.

Ugh, I know.

Hanging out with Shel is really bringing out

the best in me.

Oh, Honey!

I found the babies!

Ha-ha!

Did not see this coming, did you, Honey?

Did you? Respectfully.

No, this is a real surprise.

I did not expect you to come back with four rats.

In your f--rats?

Jig's up, boy-os.

Let's am-scray.

What? How did I not see that?

[moans] You were right, Honey.

You're the responsible one, and I'm the eye candy.

Chief.

After a night of losing the possum babies

to an underground pharmaceutical crime syndicate

and enduring several other disgusting surprises,

including the Gray One being helpful--

Maybe I should change my name to the Helpful One!

Do whatever you want.

The point is, Chief, you being consistently you

is just what I needed.

[whimpers] Thank you.

[splat]

Was that fecal matter landing--

all: On top of the tor-stada?

I was right there with you, maybe slightly before.

Possum? - Honey, Chief!

Thank you so much for watching the kids.

It was our pleasure.

They were grotesquely adorable.

Nothing at all like old rats. [possums chittering]

Why were you pooping on that innocent tor-stada?

I can explain.

Usually, my only me time is right at the end of the night

when I finally put the kids down

and get to take a satisfying dump on this turtle statue.

Newsflash, pal!

You haven't been plop dropping on a statue!

You've been squirting nuggets on my partner!

Hey, my rage is back!

Easy, partner, I'll try this my way.

If I'm picking up what you're laying down,

this is your weird thing that sounds disgusting

but gives you pleasure?

- You totally get me. - I do, possum brother.

You know what? I'll see you tomorrow night.

Go to town.

♪ It's just a precious sight ♪

♪ On wings of the ♪

Ahh! both: ♪ Night ♪

[sighs]

Do we need batteries?

Well, why would we need batteries?

[sighs]

I don't know.

I thought you said we needed batteries.

I just have this one thing.

Did you bring your Nite Aid card?

Oh... did I?

Can I give you a number instead?

[sighs] I guess.

Um, four...

Does anyone else work here?

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