Original subtitles

Maybe you should move in here.

Your key's in the bowl next to the front door.

You probably don't remember that time

I almost had sex with that real estate agent.

- Harry. - Anton.

I'd like to do a biopsy, if that's OK.

Yeah, absolutely.

Unless you're only doing it so I'll keep my pants down.

I'm so sorry.

Des was like a father to me.

Des left Ainsley all our savings.

- His savings. - 750 K?

- Hey, hey, big boy. - Well, hey, here she is.

Mel, this is my daughter, Mia.

Does mum know you have a girlfriend?

Not... Not my girlfriend.

If I was sleeping with someone, I wouldn't be telling you.

(WHISPERS) Shit.

BEN: When I was a kid,

I thought by 40, life would be pretty sleepy and predictable.

- Mmm? - Happy birthday, big boy.

BEN: But it was still surprising me,

pretty much daily.

- Got you something. - Hey?

You didn't have to give me anything.

Oh, fuck off. I did so.

BEN: Now, I didn't start seeing Mel

with any expectations,

or the best intentions.

Look, if you don't want it, just tell me, 'cause I do.

No...

BEN: I never expected her to be such a good mate.

- You did not. - I know, right?

How'd you find this?

Did a shit-ton of Cash Online.

- And that's just part one. - Mate, wh...?

What's part two?

BEN: 16-year-old Benny

would have seen this as the ultimate relationship.

(INAUDIBLE)

40-year-old Ben was wondering

if it was going to go the distance.

She was so easy-going, just ripper company,

and the best surprise...

- (HORN TOOTS) - MEL: Come on!

..was just how awesome she was with Mia.

Turns out she was the only one game enough

to get in the car with her.

Welcome to Mel's driving school.

BEN: She never lost her temper or made Mia feel judged.

Just don't yank it like...

She actually made Mia feel really good about herself.

Everything nice and slow.

Check this out.

Yes, I remember what I said about got to be able to

pluck your eyebrows, put your lip gloss on

and gloss either side. It's like the Holy Grail.

(GIGGLES, STARTS ENGINE)

There we go.

OK, just... Just nice and easy.

Super gentle. Nice and easy...

BEN: Mia's driving wasn't getting any better,

but the more time they spent together,

the more Mia seemed to come out of her shell.

Whoo!

It's not rocket science.

All you need is 3-5 grand on an open bar,

photo booth, ring light a couple of strippers.

Uh, what's a ring light?

- Are you taking the piss? - He's really not.

- (MURMURS) Simmo... - Yeah.

The thing is, Mel, we've got some pretty strict traditions

for your milestone birthdays for the boys.

Like what?

We like to get back to the land, out in the wild.

It's a spiritual, at-one-with-nature kind of...

- Just say it. - We camp.

We... We just... We go camping.

- Yeah. - (MEL SIGHS)

They just sit around and pretend they're going to hike.

Is there anything I can do to make you kibosh this?

- No. - Fine.

I have to sit in a hole.

Uh... Not if you can hold it in.

OK. (LAUGHS)

Mate, wow.

BEN: I'd never been with anyone

who was willing to go camping with the boys.

Never?

- No, not ever. - LIZ: Never.

Not even when you were little tackers?

Not even then.

BEN: It was usually just flat-out rejection.

We did stay in a little lodge once, in the middle of nowhere.

- Did it have walls? - Paper-thin.

Then you weren't camping.

I still hated it.

HEATHER: Oh, I believe you.

Don't look at me.

Mum never let me go camping when I was at school,

and I don't see her changing her mind now.

Honestly, I'm not sure I'd want to be 2 hours away,

even if she did.

If I could think of any way to avoid it, I would.

- But I will be there. - One down.

They all fall like dominos now.

I didn't want to be a prick about it, but...

it is my 40th.

- OK, fine. - Really?

Look, we'll come for the shenanigans,

but we're not staying overnight.

I reckon we can get it done in three cars.

So, Heath, Liz, Hazza in one. I'll head out with you two.

And then Mel's going to let Mia drive her car.

Is Mel the best person to supervise Mia on the road?

Yeah, totally.

They're getting on like a house on fire,

catching up without me, even,

and, like, BFFs.

Even done a couple of sleepovers.

A 30-something woman and a teenager

are having sleepovers?

Well, when you say it like that,

it sounds a bit weird, but it's not.

- And Mia's fine with it? - Yeah.

Yep. No, she's just excited to see Mia come out of her shell.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND GIGGLING)

BEN: Actually, um, Mia's mum

had no idea about the sleepovers at Mel's.

MEL: Just one time. Three, two, one.

BEN: But I could see it with my own eyes.

She was rubbing off on Mia, in a good way.

(LAUGHS)

What are you two little characters up to in here?

Stop distracting us. Go away.

Three, two, one.

De, de, de, de-de, de, de.

And drive the car and drink from the cup.

MANJU: One of the nurses said I was an inspiration.

HARRY: Did she?

He also used the word 'miracle'

and suggested they could study my recovery

for the benefit of all mankind.

Well, I hope you said yes.

No, I'm too modest.

I'll have a mineral water with ice, please.

And a long black for me.

Thanks.

And get us the lunch menu, please.

Don't squint at me, Harpreet.

I'm stronger by the hour.

You must let me live.

So, then, I assume you wouldn't mind

if I accepted an invitation to Ben's 40th?

You must definitely go.

It is an overnight trip.

Tell Benjamin I insisted.

We won't be eating after all.

I'm feeling quite hot.

And cold. (SIGHS)

It's going up and down.

I'm afraid I've lost my appetite.

I may get you to bring the walker

for the journey back to the car.

(COUGHS)

BEN: I'm only going to ask you one more time.

- That is just a lie. - HEATHER: Just give it to me.

- BEN: Of course it is. - (BELL RINGS)

Oh, mate.

You have a beer for me.

Listen, I'll have several.

- I promise you that. - OK.

Sorry, Lizzie.

Uh, Harry, I am more than happy to stay with Manju

if she needs the care.

She doesn't. It's a test,

which I will complete perfectly and still fail.

I am MORE THAN HAPPY.

HEATHER: Liz! Come on.

- (BELL RINGS) - HEATHER: I've got your stupid-looking hat.

- (SIGHS) - LIZ: That's my favourite hat.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

Um, have you've got any objections

to me putting on a podcast?

I'm moving out.

I'm moving in with Ed.

Oh, my God.

Could you at least help me understand your face?

Not really.

Will you just stop me if I get something wrong?

Ed's great.

You boys love him.

You seem really happy.

All pretty bang-on.

So... why the face?

Every time any one of you

so much is floated the idea of moving out

I shot you down in flames.

I called you selfish and gutless.

So when I left to go to Cambridge...

I crucified you behind your back.

OK, thank you. That clarifies some things.

Well, thankfully, yours is a pretty unique worldview, Heath.

I don't think anyone else is going to feel that way.

Are you planning on telling the others soon?

Probably.

For what it's worth...

..I think everyone's going to be happy for you.

I'll miss you.

Everyone will miss you.

It'll be a shock at first, but you'll get their blessing.

SIMMO: You could live your whole life out here

and never even lay eyes on a neighbour.

Sounds lonely.

SIMMO: You could pull up right now,

knock on any one of these doors

and buy him outright - instant mogul.

You're assuming that the owners would want to sell, for a start.

- Ains, you're missing my point. - I'm not.

I'm just saying you could if you want to.

Yeah, but I don't want to.

You never know.

Actually, I do know.

I think I've figured out what I want to do with Dad's money.

I'm going to start a business.

Yeah, you are!

Hey, why wouldn't you?

I want to find rundown properties,

zhuzh them up, and turn them into classy but accessible,

high-earning accom.

Bloody brilliant!

Ains, you're going to smash that,

- just on so many levels. - No doubt about it.

You know what the beautiful thing is?

Between the two of you, you got everything covered.

- What? - You and Sim.

You've got your real estate,

your marketing, your hospitality,

and then this idiot on the tools whipping them all into shape.

It's just... It's meant to be.

I thought life couldn't get any sweeter.

It just did!

Just did.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Mate, why are the boys here?

Wouldn't be a birthday without a surprise landing.

Oh!

- MAN: Benny! - Hey!

(CHANTING) Benny! Benny!

BEN: God love him, Sim always meant well.

But even he could say this was an accident waiting to happen.

Happy Birthday! Mate, I feel like an idiot.

I forgot pin the donkey on the tail,

but we've got everything else, though.

We've got beer-pong, fireworks, bush darts, got it all.

Where the hell are all the bushes.

They told me I could go behind a bush. Show me a bush.

- Don't ask me. - Sorry, Heather.

I could have sworn there were more bushes,

but, still, there's plenty of trees.

It's rolling plains and saplings.

They'll cover less than 10% of me.

Has she got a bit of dysmorphia?

If any photos of my arse show up online,

you'll fucking hear about it!

And that cask of wine better be open by the time I get back!

Right, what are we drinking?

Uh, I think I might be nil-by-mouth until we get home.

Yeah.

Lizzie?

- Ah, the Fridge. Hello. - How are you?

- Good. - Red or white?

Nothing for me, thanks.

Jager-bomb. Got you.

Got one sorted. Say no more.

MAN: Everyone went through it.

AINSLEY: I think they thought I was suggesting that

he and I go into business together.

That explains it.

I love him, but the thought of us working together, it...

You don't have to convince me, Ains.

Don't shit where you eat - first rule of business.

You need to set him straight ASAP.

He looks so happy. His little face was all lit up.

That's all the more reason. I don't want to hurt him.

MAN: Get him a light.

Just... Just tell him you don't want to spend your days

staring his plumber's crack.

- Off you go! - Oh, I'm working up to it.

- Agh! - Get him a water.

Longer you let it fester, the bigger the backfire.

- (WATER FALLS) - Oh...

MEL: OK. Well, hang on. What kind of porn?

MIA: He said I could pick.

MEL: OK! That's good.

MIA: Just...

Should I feel insulted that he asked?

MEL: He wanted you to pick, so he's definitely into you.

If he's into me, then why does he want to put on porn?

MEL: Dude, I watch porn.

All the time! On my own, with Lachlan.

Your dad's not into it, but he'll get there sooner or later.

We all do.

But, hey, no shame, no shade.

If you're not feeling it, you let him know.

You're driving, yeah?

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Look, if you need somewhere to be, just come to mine.

Lachlan does opens every arvo and Star and I

go cruising most days after lunch, so...

- Seriously? - Yeah, totally.

And, hey, hot tip.

He is way more shit-scared than you.

- Really? - 100%

Huh.

Mate, I haven't lit the fire. What good is that gonna be?

- (LAUGHS) - Oh, fair enough.

HEATHER: Do you boys know what you're doing?

Yeah, 100%.

Doesn't look like it from here.

Yeah. He loves camping.

- Wood? - Yeah, wood.

Let's get wood. That'll help.

Small wood, though.

You didn't go, did you?

Couldn't.

I'm telling you, nobody's watching you.

No, I started, but then there was an interruption.

I think I heard Mel talking to Mia about porn.

And I think...

Is Mia's having sex?

What did you hear?

Well, she was asking Mel

about a boy who wants to watch porn with him while they...

You know.

And Mel was on-board with this?

VERY much so.

She said that they could use her house.

Is that what kids are doing now?

They're watching porn while they...

Why would you when you've got it right there in front of you?

Why are you asking me?

Do we think Ben's across any of this?

Do we think that he should be?

You don't want to spring this on him this far from a hospital.

Just get through the dick-wittery of the next few hours

and then hit him with it when he sobers up at home.

I don't think I can get through the next few hours.

I think I'm getting cystitis.

You got interrupted.

- Did you try and start again? - Yes.

- What did you use to wipe? - Just tissues.

Not the fancy-arse aloe vera ones?

No. They were eucalyptus.

- Oh, f... - What?

OK.

Two antibiotics, right now.

Wash it down with Ural.

And keep your fluids up.

Cystitis goes from zero to hero real quick,

so you want to get onto it fast.

Ugh...

OK.

You let go over the arm.

Ooh! Appeal! Appeal Liz.

BEN: Now, I'd always tried to keep my family separate -

boys in one camp, housemates in another,

and Mia on her own little island.

It just safer, somehow, to keep them all in different lanes.

But seeing all my people in one place

was like real MDMA from the glory days.

It's just... It's just pure love.

FRIDGE: I'm thinking ahead, like, I'm thinking shirts, hats.

- Just merchandise, in general. - MAN: Merch?

'Cause that's a whole 'nother revenue.

I mean, how's the timing, though?

I've been stuck with the last mob for 10 years now,

and only last week did they let me go.

- It's perfect! - BEN: What's that?

Uh, got let go. Due to negligence or something.

But it means now I get to work with Sim and Ainslie's new bus...

Our new business.

Jeez, mate, can they afford you?

Probably not. Probably not. No.

I've been charging like a wounded bull the last few years,

but I would go mate's rates all the way for both of you.

Oh, No. We couldn't ask you to do that.

No, no, I'm insisting. I'm insisting.

I mean, think of this -

the chance to build something new,

from the ground up, with family.

- Oh, mate. - Can't ask for more than that.

Huh...

I don't even know what you do.

- (LAUGHS) I'm an electrician. - Yeah, a sparky.

He can do it all.

Settle down. Not everything.

I can't do industrial, but, no,

I do know my way around your residential or commercial.

Why do you think they call me Fridge?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

You're clearly getting your appetite back.

It's possibly all the vomiting making room.

(MESSAGE ALERT)

If it's Elizabeth, tell her I'm fine.

- Don't even respond. - It's work.

No, it's not.

Tell her you need your space, for God's sake.

She can cope without us for one night.

(PHONE RINGS)

Uh, actually, Mum, it's...

It's a colleague, and it might be an emergency,

so I'm just...

Dr Sethi speaking.

I take it the biopsy results have come back.

Harry, it's Anton.

I know. I, um...

I was with my mother,

and I pretended that this was a work call

so I could step away.

OK.

- Did you get my message? - I did.

And I'd really love to catch up,

but, unfortunately, I'm taking care of my mum tonight.

Oh, I thought she was spending more time on her own.

Yeah, she was, until I made the mistake of

admitting I wanted to be somewhere else.

Oh, well, that is very flattering.

Look, I'd really love to catch up, but...

I can't leave the house.

I can come to you.

You do realise my mother is living here?

She doesn't need to know.

She has something of a sixth sense

- when it comes to me. - (BELL RINGS)

You didn't sneak in any hot boys when you were a teenager?

(LAUGHS) There were no hot boys anywhere near me.

Well, I don't mean to blow my own horn,

but if they gave out degrees for having sneaky sex

right under parents noses...

Uh, that sounded much less creepy in my head.

I was a teenager myself.

Mm-hm. I knew what you meant.

(BELL RINGS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

- Ben? - Yo.

- This has been so much fun. - What?

You're not...

You're not leaving? We only just got here!

- We've been here for hours. - But it's not even dark yet.

We just thought, given the terrain,

it might be easier for us

to find our way home in the daylight.

But what if you just turn your headlights on?

Liz can't wee.

I can go into more detail, if that's what you'd like.

BOTH: Oh, no, no... (INDISTINCT)

- OK. Happy birthday, Ben. - Thanks, Heath.

Good luck.

- Just go. - Get well.

- See you. Thanks, mate. - No problem.

Oh, thanks.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! - What?

What are you doing?

I've had seven cups of wine.

I've had two, on top of antibiotics.

You said you were nil-by-mouth.

You said to keep my fluids out.

Not with cask wine!

OK, fine.

I'm OK.

I'll do it.

Really?

Yes.

Really?

Yes.

Ugh...

You were the designated driver.

Though we were taking turns.

- Needed to double the pain. - So did I.

Psychological pain.

But I'm a city girl.

What am I, a fucking bushwhacker?

(STARTS ENGINE)

(REVS ENGINE)

There's... There's something... There's something wrong.

There's something wrong with the car.

(REVS ENGINE)

For fuck's sake, Liz, you've got it in park.

Just... Just stop.

(KEYS JANGLE, ENGINE STOPS)

Traditionally, the person that drives there does not..

Shut up.

Oh! Look out, the girls are back.

Well, well, well.

Nothing to be ashamed of. This is sacred ground.

We all feel the pull of it one way or another.

Liz has got cystitis.

It's a urinary tract infection in a vagina.

Cheers, everyone.

- You alright? - Yeah.

(TV PLAYS INDIAN SHOW)

I might make us some tea.

(TV SHOW CONTINUES)

She thinks I'm making tea, so we've only got a few minutes.

Uh, not that way.

Oh. (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

(BELL RINGS)

(TURNS TV OFF)

Harpreet?

Harpreet?

What are you doing?

I'm just waiting for the kettle to boil.

But it's not boiling.

No, it... it was.

It just turned itself off.

Oh.

Oh, just go back. I'll bring it in.

I just... I pulled a muscle, so...

Don't bother.

I'm too bloated for tea.

Oh, I'm sorry, Anton. I'm just not...

- Oh, yeah. - Not here.

OK?

Maybe just let me know when you're not looking after your mum.

Unfortunately, my entire life is looking after my mum

and work, so...

Well, I do know where you work.

(LAUGHS)

- (INSECTS CHIRRUP) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

Oi, enough chat, you two!

Go to Sleep.

MIA: OK, Dad!

MEL: Sorry, Daddy!

They keeping you awake, Lizzie?

Oh, no, it's... No.

Heath, I'm ready to try.

- Go on, then. - No, I need you to come with me.

I don't want to go into the bush alone.

I'm pretty sure I heard a snake.

It was maybe a large bird of prey.

- Yeah, you didn't. - I definitely heard something.

Oh, fuck's sake.

Thank you.

BEN: You need me to flank you with the torch or...?

No, thank you. Thank you. Maintain distance. Thank you.

- (THUD!) - Agh!

HEATHER: Ben! Torch.

Just bring the torch.

LIZ: If you could turn your backs, please?

BEN: Swear to God, Lizzy, we can't see anything.

LIZ: Torch off.

(ZIP PULLS)

OK.

LIZ: Can you talk amongst yourselves, please?

Or any sort of ambient noise.

(INSECTS CHIRRUP)

So, um, I hear Mia has a boyfriend.

What? No.

I heard she was chatting to Mel about some boy she's into.

No, if she was into someone, she'd tell me and Bec,

before she'd tell Mel.

Wouldn't she?

Hell, no.

- Why not? - 'Cause you're her dad.

Yeah, but if they were talking about big stuff like that,

Mel would tell me.

What, are you saying she wouldn't?

I'm not saying anything.

LIZ: Torch on, please.

I probably just misheard.

How are you going?

I'm not sure how much natural dampness is in this environment,

but I am going to need to borrow some pants

'cause something seems to have happened here.

Oh, my God.

(GIGGLING AND CHATTER CONTINUES)

I wouldn't mind getting a bit of a hike in this morning.

What do you reckon?

If we leave in the next 20 or so,

I reckon we can reach Miller's Peak by, um...

No, Tuesday.

Anyway. Benny, are you in?

- Pretty dusty, mate. - Yeah. I didn't get much sleep.

But I might get a second wind,

or a first wind after brekkie.

That kid snores.

That's not normal. You should probably get that looked at.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Hey, you want to grab a quick stroll, just you and me?

Sorry, Fridge.

If this is what I think it is, I'm going to need a wee first.

- (EXHALES) - Ooh.

Hey, I'm stoked that

you're getting on so well with little Mia.

Yeah, she's good value when she's awake.

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Hey...

Heath thought she might have

overheard youse talking about something,

and I just wanted to ask you,

do you and Mia ever talk about boys?

No?

That's pretty much all we talk about.

Oh, right-o.

So they are... on the scene, or is this just a chat?

Look, if you tell her I told you, I'm going to deny it.

But, yeah, they ARE the scene.

She's way beyond talking.

How far beyond?

Well, it depends what your bases are.

I mean, first base used to be a tonguey and a fondle -

now it's a blowjob, so...

Oh, yeah, it's all changed.

But you have nothing to worry about.

I've given her a safe space.

And she's smart enough to set her own pace. So...

Why the fuck didn't you tell me?

- Because you're her old man. - Yeah.

No self-respecting teenager talks about this shit

with the olds.

How would you feel

if Starlette was talking to someone about this stuff?

Bring it on, man.

I've already opened up a dialogue.

I mean, obviously, she doesn't understand everything just yet,

but that's why I'm writing a kid's book.

I'm calling it, 'What's That Funny Feeling, Mummy?'

It's been in my head for years. Just haven't found the right publisher yet.

Fucking hell.

I knew, going into this, I was rolling the dice on you,

so I was expecting you to screw around with me, not my kid.

Dude, I'm helping her.

There are other chicks in her class that are doing line ups.

What?

Yeah, it's when a bunch of guys line up, and they...

What? If it wasn't for me, that's what she'd be doing.

No, she fucking wouldn't!

I don't want her doing any of that shit.

Oh, like what she does with her body's up to you.

- Mia! - Ben.

Benny. Hey, how are you feeling, hike-wise, mate?

I've got two confirmed already.

Mia, grab your stuff. We're leaving.

- Why? - Because I said so.

Grab your bags and get in the car.

You know, you're acting like a total dick.

Am I? I think you've doled out enough advice.

Thank you very much.

And Mia, you and I going to have a nice long chat with your mum right now.

- About what? - About...

Ask your mate.

I didn't tell him anything.

Someone overheard us talking and told him.

Ben.

Ben, you are confusing the crap out of her.

You're publicly shaming her.

And that is the shit that sticks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here?

Benny, talk to me, mate.

- Not now. - Fair enough.

There's a bit of emotion in the air,

but that's what happens on the land.

- But no-one's going anywhere. - (ENGINE STARTS)

We haven't even cracked the beer pinata yet.

Mia's driving by herself.

Mia, don't fucking... Mia!

Mia! Mia!

Mia, Mia, Mia, Mia!

Mia!

Fucking hell!

Did all the jealousy just boil over?

What?

I mean, I know it's got to hurt, me with Ben,

but the kid loving me, too - was that a bridge too far?

- You don't want to go there. - I think you already have.

You offered a sex den to a child.

OK, first of all, she's not a child.

She's old enough to drive a car.

And not talking about shit doesn't make it go away.

Well, maybe you're just not the right person

to be giving her advice.

Oh, yeah, and you are?

She's got questions. She wants answers.

And she's not getting any from anyone like you

or you or him.

- She could be halfway to friggin' Melbourne. - Oh, she'll be back.

She's probably parked behind a bush somewhere in a shame puddle.

What does that even mean?

I've got to tell my ex

our kid's just taken off in a car by herself

after a massive row with me

'cause I just found out she's having sex

with the help of my fucking girlfriend.

I'm not your girlfriend.

And if you hadn't gone half-cocked without a clue,

none of this would have happened.

All right, can I just...

Look, I know we're all thinking it,

but if we don't kick off in the next 15 minutes,

that sun is going to be way too high to hike.

Is it a good idea, just while we're all a bit heated,

if you take a step back, Ben, and let us look for Mia?

Maybe we just walk it off, mate.

It doesn't have to be a hike.

Fuck it. She's my kid. I'm going to find her.

Can you two take Mel home?

And we'll split up to search. Fridge, you come with me.

Mia!

She's probably just stalled somewhere.

Mmm.

Ains, just... your business idea...

Yeah.

Getting worried it's all happening a bit quickly.

I...

I am. I really am.

Oh, good. I feel sick saying it,

'cause I love him like a brother, but I just...

I don't reckon I can go into business with Fridge.

There's nothing on him,

he's a ripper bloke, and an awesome sparky.

But I just... I'm so excited about it being you and me.

Mmm...

It's the perfect fusion of who we are.

"Ainsmo Accom".

"Simsley Stays".

It's... Either way works.

Mia!

- I love you so much. - Love you more.

And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Look out, I'll get a chubby.

But I don't want to work with you.

Sim, when we did, when we did the Airbnb together,

I... I looked at you with different eyes,

and I don't want to look at you with anything but love.

Right.

OK.

Just kept looking for... Ains, eh.

Mia. We're looking for Mia.

Yeah, Mia.

Dr Sethi, I was... We've just had a walk-in.

I did explain how busy you are.

But he insists that he only needs a moment.

Uh, that's OK. Thank you, Cynthia.

Come on through.

It's flaring up again, is it?

Oh, yeah. It's definitely getting worse.

I'm so sorry. I'll be right with you, Mrs Mullins.

CYNTHIA: So sorry about the wait. He won't be long.

Thanks for accommodating me, Doctor.

Not a problem.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(BANG! CLATTERING)

(THUDDING)

How are the grandchildren?

(LOUD CLATTERING)

- (HARRY MOANS) - (BANGING CONTINUES)

Cynthia.

(PHONE RINGS)

- Hey. - MIA: Can you come and see me?

Can't. The crones have kidnapped me.

What does that mean?

Your old man banished me. I'm already on my way home.

Oh, my fucking God. I hate him.

(SIGHS) Yeah, you're supposed to hate him.

MIA: He's fucking psychopath.

Look, first of all, I'm on your side.

The way he tore into you was bullshit.

But my old man was an actual psychopath.

Yours is just a deeply unco fuck-up.

But at least he gives a shit.

Got to give him props for that.

He loves you so much, yeah?

He can't even see himself.

As much as I respect the instinct, and the burnout,

driving off was a bad move.

I had to get out of there.

I feel you, babe. But you've made your point.

He's probably shat his pants, for real,

and you'll always have that win.

But for now, you've got to pull up stumps,

call it in, and head back to camp.

I don't want to see him.

Fair enough, but we both know you can't turn left,

so unless you want to live in the middle of Butt-fuck, Nowhere...

Can I move in with you?

- Yeah. You don't want that. - Yes, I do.

Look, you and me, we get each other,

but we are not the same.

We're both hot and youthful, sure, that's a given.

But you have also got a massive brain

and you owe it to all the hot, dumb bitches in the world

to use it.

Now go back to the old boy and I'll call you tonight, OK?

OK.

(MEL HANGS UP)

Whatever you heard, keep it to yourselves.

That shit was private.

Capisce?

Mate, I have never been that scared in my life.

You went to jail!

You disappeared for years.

You cheated on Heather.

And you have the audacity to judge me.

I'm sorry I went off like that. I just...

I was shocked and... and bloody terrified.

- Mia, you're my little girl. - No, I'm not.

And I just... I need you to know

you are so much better than that.

What?

Better than what? Better than you?

You can't even keep your dick in your pants.

Yeah, better than me, and every other dickhead out there!

I just...

I know how boys think, and... I want to protect you.

I don't need your protection.

I can take care of myself.

I know I haven't been around enough.

And I'm so sorry that

you couldn't speak to me and Mum about this.

Oh, my God.

If you say one thing to Mum,

you know I'll never speak to you again.

Mate, I... (SIGHS)

Your mum would kill me if I didn't tell her about this.

I can tell her.

When I'm ready.

Yeah, alright.

Just take me home.

Alright, alright.

Oh, you guys are here. Um...

Just so you know, like,

I didn't start having sex until I was 30.

So, you know, it's cool to wait.

Got the keys, mate?

Cynthia, I wonder if we could have a quick word.

I'm afraid, Ms Pascoe would prefer not to engage with you

at this time.

I'm sorry. Who are you?

I'm John Rossi. I'm one of the hospital administrators.

If you have anything you'd like to say to Ms Pascoe,

you may do so in writing via the administration board.

OK. This is ridiculous.

I'm going to have to ask you to step back, Dr Sethi.

Now, a very serious complaint has been made against you,

and that has been escalated to

the Australian Medical Standards Authority.

They'll be investigating from here.

You right to go?

Cynthia, I'm so sorry. I...

- Hey. - Hey.

Sorry.

Tea cup.

Uh, how's Mia?

She hates my guts.

She's never looked at me or talked to me

the way she did yesterday.

I reckon... I might have lost her.

No, you haven't.

OK, you've lost her for a while,

but that's supposed to happen.

It's just a rite of passage.

She'll come back.

They all do.

Hey. Did I hear... Are you moving out?

I am. Yeah.

Um...

Have you spoken to Mel?

No.

Well, God knows what she said to Mia

when they were on their own, but...

I heard her on the phone on the way home, and, um...

..well, she genuinely cares about that kid.

(SIGHS) Yeah.

For what it's worth.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

HARRY: Next time on Five Bedrooms...

Just gonna head out to the block for a bit.

- For how long? - Uh, a few nights.

Dr Sethi, you had sexual intercourse

with a patient in the workplace.

There are consequences.

I'm fucked, aren't I?

- What is wrong with Harpreet? - Nothing.

- Your mum's suspicious. - What?

Harpreet!

(WHISPERS) Shit. OK.

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