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1
00:00:01,768 --> 00:00:03,302
[doorbell rings]
- marie, door!
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,404
- I'm in the kitchen.
3
00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:08,140
Put your pants on
and get it yourself!
4
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:12,044
- I got pants on.
5
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:13,078
[doorbell rings]
6
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,713
I'm comin' already!
7
00:00:18,251 --> 00:00:19,651
Marco.
8
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:23,255
- Is this a bad time?
9
00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:24,323
- No, no, no.
10
00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:27,059
For you, I zip.
11
00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:28,594
Hey, come on in.
12
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,130
It's, uh, good to see you.
13
00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,032
- Nice seeing you.
14
00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:34,666
Maybe sometime we play bocce,
like in Italy.
15
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,769
- Yeah, great.
16
00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:38,504
So how do you like
livin' in america?
17
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,472
How's the restaurant business?
18
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,141
- Ah, it's not like home.
19
00:00:42,143 --> 00:00:45,644
Everybody, they steal here.
All the time.
20
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,613
- They don't steal in Italy?
21
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:52,151
- In Italy,
they steal only once.
22
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,719
- You want a beer?
23
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,387
- Is your wife here?
24
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,823
- Yeah, but she
won't bother us.
25
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,324
Sit down.
Open your pants.
26
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,629
- Who is it--oh!
27
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:06,765
Hello, marco.
What a nice surprise.
28
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,200
- Buon giorno.
29
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,668
- Yeah, buon giorno.
30
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:12,071
That's italian
for "beer, marie!"
31
00:01:12,073 --> 00:01:14,773
- Right away, frank.
32
00:01:14,775 --> 00:01:16,742
Would you like it
in a bottle over your head
33
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:19,278
Or in a can somewhere else?
34
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,748
- Scusa, marie,
but I come to see you.
35
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:23,849
- Really?
36
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,350
- My daughter stefania says
37
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:27,186
You're a great teacher
of piano.
38
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:30,656
With respect,
I ask you for favor.
39
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,758
Could you teach me?
40
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,326
- What, are you kidding?
41
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:37,663
- My mother, all her life,
she loves music.
42
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,731
She always wants me
to play.
43
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,734
But then when she gets sick,
I promise her to learn...
44
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,736
Then she die.
45
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,338
- Oh...
46
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,507
- So you're off the hook.
47
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:52,511
- Frank!
48
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,747
That is the sweetest thing
I have ever heard, marco.
49
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:57,649
- But it was
a long time ago.
50
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,618
I'm afraid now,
maybe I'm too old.
51
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:03,222
- Oh, no, you're never too old
to do something for your mother.
52
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,124
Come on,
I'll teach you right now.
53
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,358
- Now?
54
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,129
We're gonna
have a beer here!
55
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:11,697
- Beer?
56
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:17,236
Here is a man who thirsts
for something more than alcohol.
57
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:20,672
Here's a man who wants
music in his life.
58
00:02:23,843 --> 00:02:26,612
- I could use a little music
in my life.
59
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,881
The sweet sound
of the white coats
60
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:31,550
Coming to take you off
to the nut farm.
61
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,422
- You gotta believe.
62
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:39,658
- I can't believe
the jets are going to win.
63
00:02:42,595 --> 00:02:44,263
- Hey, dad,
the jets just tied it!
64
00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,430
- Give it up, papa!
65
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,266
- Get away from me,
ya moron.
66
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,669
- What's with you?
67
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,171
- The jets, man.
They tied the game.
68
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,505
- Would you can it?
69
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,440
I'm trying to watch
the game here.
70
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,643
Chips, debra!
71
00:02:57,645 --> 00:02:59,945
- Hey, dad,
if you're gonna be like that,
72
00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:02,514
Why don't you just go watch
the game at your own house?
73
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,316
- I can't.
74
00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,452
Your mother's giving marco
another piano lesson.
75
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,621
- Didn't he have one
yesterday?
76
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,356
- Every day...
77
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:14,193
For two weeks now.
78
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,594
- Marco?
79
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,462
The only thing I see
that guy playing
80
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,464
Is the organ
in a haunted house.
81
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,601
- [chuckles]
82
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,869
- That's a good one.
83
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,771
- It's not just
the lessons anymore.
84
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:27,372
They're hanging out now.
85
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,374
They're friends.
86
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:33,412
- [sarcastically]
chips, frank.
87
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,814
- Wait, wait, wait.
What do you mean, friends?
88
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,816
- They're together
all the time playing piano,
89
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,418
Swappin' recipes.
90
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,853
Sometimes they sit
and listen to opera...
91
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,655
And cry!
92
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:46,425
- Sounds like this is bothering
you a little bit, frank.
93
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,860
- Opera, just what
the world needs...
94
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:51,396
More fat women screaming.
95
00:03:57,637 --> 00:03:59,438
- You know what I think?
96
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,841
I think maybe you're
a little bit jealous, frank.
97
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:03,875
- Shut up.
98
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,510
- [laughing]
99
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:06,945
[baby talk] are you
a little jealous, frankie?
100
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,447
Are you just
a little bit jealous?
101
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,848
- No, don't do that, honey.
102
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,450
- Yeah, careful.
Watch your finger.
103
00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:14,353
- All right!
104
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,355
So I'm a little jealous!
105
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,457
He shouldn't be with her!
106
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,592
He should be with me!
107
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,732
- What?
- Huh?
108
00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,533
- He was my friend first!
109
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,336
We played bocce in Italy.
110
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:35,774
Now he comes in the door--
it's like I don't exist.
111
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,609
- Oh, cheer up, dad.
112
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:41,947
I'm sure there's a guy
out there for you somewhere.
113
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:46,385
- Yeah, maybe marco
has a brother...
114
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,720
In the bell tower.
115
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,825
- I want him out of my house.
116
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,527
- So throw him out.
117
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,063
- Ray, let your parents
work this out for themselves.
118
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,432
- I'm just saying, you want
someone out of your house,
119
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,566
You throw 'em out.
120
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:04,636
- Yeah, you're the expert.
121
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:07,072
- You, out!
122
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,308
I'm kidding.
You stay.
123
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,711
- Hey, he can't just
throw him out.
124
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,579
I mean, marco's not
the kind of guy you mess with.
125
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,081
- Marco?
126
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,750
That guy's no bigger
than a bag of laundry.
127
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,585
- Remember when he took over
nemo's pizza?
128
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,421
And I said,
"what happened to nemo?"
129
00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,790
And he looked at me
with that face and said,
130
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,459
"he go away."
131
00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:29,828
Has anybody seen
nemo since?
132
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:30,896
Huh?
Postcard?
133
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,064
Anything?
No.
134
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,732
Marco knows how
to make people go away,
135
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,102
And that's all
I'm saying.
136
00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:39,538
- He don't scare me,
and I'm throwing him out!
137
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,872
- Oh, wait a minute, frank.
138
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:42,607
Why don't you just
tell marco how you feel?
139
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,743
That you want to be
his friend too.
140
00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,779
- What am I, wearing a skirt
and mary janes?
141
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,651
I'm throwin' him out!
142
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:55,420
- Say hi to nemo for us.
143
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:00,892
- And stay out!
144
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,367
[piano notes plinking]
145
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:12,504
To learn this
before my birthday party.
146
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:15,674
- You should have great
for your birthday, not me.
147
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:18,043
- Nonsense.
You're gonna be wonderful.
148
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,678
But keep practicing,
149
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,046
And then later,
we'll make biscotti.
150
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,749
- I like your biscotti.
151
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,817
- I'll go make us
some tea.
152
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,590
- [practices piano]
153
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:33,892
[hits wrong note]
154
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,494
Mm, mm, mmh!
155
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,732
- Listen, marco...
156
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,934
I got somethin'
to say to you.
157
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,003
- And I got somethin'
to say to you.
158
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,671
Sit!
159
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,643
I cannot help
but notice
160
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,879
Every time I have a lesson,
you leave.
161
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,113
It's rude.
162
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,516
- I'm sorry.
163
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,588
- No, it is rude of me
to invade your house
164
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,958
And take you away
from your beautiful wife.
165
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,927
- My what?
166
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,500
- Forgive me.
167
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,702
You open your house to me,
168
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:21,039
And I stink it up.
169
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:24,576
- Oh, hey, hey,
it doesn't bother me at all.
170
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,912
- You are too kind.
171
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,580
Now, what do you want
to say to me?
172
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,516
- Uh...
173
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:33,952
You play poker?
174
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,688
- I'm good at poker.
175
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,191
- There's a game
at my lodge tonight.
176
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:40,459
You in?
177
00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,860
- It would be honor,
178
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,762
But first I buy you dinner
at my restaurant.
179
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,798
- Don't have
to ask me twice.
180
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,200
- Teatime.
181
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,668
- Uh, marie,
I'm takin' marco
182
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:51,236
To the lodge for poker.
183
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,572
- But marco hasn't finished
his lesson yet.
184
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:56,975
- Marie, I'm done
with piano.
185
00:07:56,977 --> 00:08:00,212
I tried,
but I cannot make it work.
186
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,813
- You're quitting?
187
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,150
You can't quit.
You promised your mother.
188
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,553
- I know.
I know, but...
189
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,255
She's dead.
190
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,633
- But she can still see you.
191
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,802
- I'm sorry, marie.
192
00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,237
You come to have dinner
with us.
193
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,738
- No, no.
I don't think so.
194
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,073
Why don't you boys
go to the lodge?
195
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,208
- You're gonna love
the lodge, marco.
196
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,545
They got cards, checkers,
a swimming pool.
197
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,847
It's great.
Everybody swims naked.
198
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:39,618
- Is this a heated pool?
199
00:08:48,127 --> 00:08:51,129
- He'll be back.
200
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:54,599
One look at frank naked--
he'll be back.
201
00:08:57,803 --> 00:08:59,070
[kids screaming]
202
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:02,674
- Stop it right now!
Go to sleep!
203
00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:06,077
- No, no.
204
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:09,614
No, it's nothing.
Debra's readin' them a story.
205
00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,783
All right, listen, remember,
we're teeing off at 7:00.
206
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:15,053
Oh, don't be late.
All right.
207
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,789
- Why didn't you
come up and help me?
208
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,558
- I was talking
to gianni.
209
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,893
- Didn't you hear
the screaming?
210
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:25,030
- I heard you screamin'.
211
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,666
- I'm gonna kill
your father.
212
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:33,238
- Oh, no, mom.
Don't.
213
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,674
- Marco is my friend.
Now I never see him anymore.
214
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,175
He's always with your father.
215
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:41,613
They're watching sports
or swimming nude at the lodge.
216
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:44,883
- There isn't enough
chlorine in the world.
217
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,888
- I mean, for the first time in
I don't know how long,
218
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,890
I had a real companion,
219
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,058
Someone I could talk to.
220
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,693
Do something, raymond.
221
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:55,794
- Me?
What?
222
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:57,228
- Talk to your father.
223
00:09:57,230 --> 00:10:01,032
- No, no, stick to the plan
where you kill him.
224
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:03,234
- Tell him to leave
marco alone.
225
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,370
- Ma, I don't want to get
in the middle of this.
226
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,905
- I don't want you
in the middle.
227
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:08,840
I want you on my side.
228
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,308
- No, look, mom,
I think you and dad
229
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,177
Can work this out yourselves,
right, deb?
230
00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:13,812
- No, ray.
231
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,147
Tell your father to
give her back her friend.
232
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,950
- What happened
to "stay out of it"?
233
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,885
- I feel for your mother.
234
00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,288
- You do?
- Yes.
235
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,723
- Do you think it's easy
236
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,257
For marie to meet people
and make friends
237
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,726
When she spent
her whole life
238
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,361
Stuck in a house
with a lump of a husband
239
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,229
Who, instead of puttin'
his own kids to bed,
240
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:35,000
Is on the phone with his pals
makin' a golf date?
241
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:41,272
- Why can't you just hate
one man a time?
242
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,376
- Hey, marie,
tick-tock.
243
00:10:44,378 --> 00:10:46,845
Where's my dinner?
244
00:10:48,881 --> 00:10:51,316
- Raymond has something
to say to you.
245
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,751
- What?
246
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,285
- [mumbling]
what...
247
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,421
- Stay away from marco.
- Yeah.
248
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,294
- Since when do you
tell me what to do?
249
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:08,900
- I'm not--I'm not talking.
They are.
250
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,036
- Marco was my friend.
251
00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:13,171
- Oh, yeah?
He traded up.
252
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:18,243
- That's it, frank.
That's it.
253
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,745
You are not invited
to my birthday party.
254
00:11:20,747 --> 00:11:23,348
- Who needs an invitation?
It's at my house!
255
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,150
- Not anymore!
256
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,018
I'm gonna have it right here
at raymond's house.
257
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,187
- Thanks a lot!
- What did I do?
258
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,789
- Forget it!
259
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:32,457
I'll just go to the lodge
with marco.
260
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:35,026
- You can't; I've already
invited him to the party,
261
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,762
And he's gonna play "happy
birthday" to me on the piano.
262
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:41,933
- Where's my dinner?
263
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,768
- At the lodge.
264
00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:52,010
- Next time,
you mind your own business!
265
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,281
[door slams]
266
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:00,885
- What?
267
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,454
- You're really with
my mother on this, huh?
268
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:05,356
That's the horse
you're backin'?
269
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,860
- Better my horse
than your jackass.
270
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,262
- Hey, my jackass
happens to have a point, okay?
271
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,931
He's right.
272
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,199
If marco's
gonna be with anybody,
273
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,067
It should be him, not her.
274
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,036
- What, your mother's
not allowed to have a friend?
275
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,306
- Not a male friend, no.
She's my mother.
276
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:22,440
- So?
277
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,175
- So she's a married woman.
278
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:26,077
It's creepy.
279
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:30,115
- So does that mean that
I can't have any male friends?
280
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:32,250
- You can have as many
male friends as you want,
281
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,286
As long as they're all gay.
282
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:41,960
- You know, ray, I may have
some problems with your mother,
283
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,828
But she can be friends
with whoever she wants,
284
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,131
And I'm gonna do
whatever I can to encourage her.
285
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,499
- All right, fine!
286
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:51,536
But from now on in my head,
marco's gay.
287
00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,110
[doorbell rings]
288
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,311
- Oh.
289
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:04,916
Marco.
290
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,118
- Happy birthday, marie.
291
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,488
- This is my cousin gina
292
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,791
And my nephew gerard.
293
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,059
And this my dear friend
marco foganolo.
294
00:13:15,061 --> 00:13:18,196
I found him in Italy.
295
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,566
- How do you do?
296
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,369
- Isn't he delightful?
297
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,238
- He looks so authentic.
298
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,075
- I never met an italian
from Italy before.
299
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:34,579
[slowly]
hello...
300
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:42,353
- Where's frank?
301
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:43,888
- Oh, frank's not coming.
302
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:44,989
- Why not?
303
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:48,593
- He's sick--
swine flu.
304
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,095
- Come on, ray, are you gonna
sit there all day?
305
00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,297
Just join the party.
306
00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,499
- No, no.
It's not right.
307
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:58,203
My mom and her...
Boyfriend.
308
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,971
- I thought you made him gay.
309
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:04,142
- Yeah, well, I'm the only one
who knows that.
310
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,911
No, I mean, come on,
my dad should be here.
311
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,113
- Hmm, what is it
that you miss the most--
312
00:14:09,115 --> 00:14:11,482
The burping,
the finger in the frosting,
313
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,419
His wiping his mouth
on the curtains?
314
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:18,857
- If you must know, I miss
the shirttail out the fly.
315
00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,596
- Aaaarh! Come on!
316
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:25,563
[groaning]
317
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,304
- Be careful, robert,
you'll scratch the finish.
318
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,875
- Ma.
319
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:38,643
Ma, why is your piano
comin' into my house?
320
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,211
- Oh, it's for the party.
321
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,646
Marco's gonna play me
"happy birthday."
322
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,048
- Uhhh!
323
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,552
Thanks, everybody.
I got it.
324
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:53,157
Yeow!
Ooh! Gaw!
325
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:58,363
Ooooh!
326
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,531
Oh!
327
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,534
- Is it your back?
328
00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:12,210
- No.
I'm from japan.
329
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:15,046
I bring greetings
from the emperor.
330
00:15:19,018 --> 00:15:20,518
- Ray, get him some ice.
331
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,087
- Fabulous party.
332
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,362
- Aah!
333
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,231
What are you--
334
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,499
Where'd you come from?
335
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,034
- The laundry room.
336
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,169
- How long you been
hiding in there?
337
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:42,674
- Long enough to see you
could use some new underwear.
338
00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:48,146
- Yeah, well,
I could use some now.
339
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:50,982
- Get marco in here.
I want to talk to him.
340
00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,117
- Ray,
where's the--
341
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,485
What are you doing here?
342
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,688
- Burping.
343
00:15:56,690 --> 00:16:01,192
Now maybe I'll wipe my mouth
on the curtain.
344
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,729
- Uhh, uhh,
uhh, uhh, uhh, uhh...
345
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,297
- Aw, come on.
346
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,635
It's not like
it's a grand piano.
347
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,603
- What are you doing here?
348
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:15,039
- I'm just stopping by
to see if my friend marco
349
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,708
Wants to play some bocce.
350
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:19,410
- Well, he doesn't,
because he's here for me.
351
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:21,245
- Well, he'd rather be with me.
352
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:22,580
He likes me better.
353
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:25,350
- Ha!
Nobody likes you better.
354
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,452
- Oh, yeah?
Let's ask him.
355
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:29,153
- Oh, you can't
do that, frank.
356
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,655
- Well, why not?
Bring him in here.
357
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,291
- Hey, mind your own business.
- You scared?
358
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,593
- Frank, you are ruining
my birthday party!
359
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,228
- You've ruined
everything else!
360
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,563
Marco!
361
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,732
- Excuse me,
how's that ice coming?
362
00:16:40,734 --> 00:16:44,669
- All right, robert.
Jeez.
363
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:46,671
- Hey, marco.
364
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,740
Whose friend
do you want to be?
365
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,476
- Frank, I thought
you had the swine flu.
366
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,777
- She told you that?
367
00:16:52,779 --> 00:16:55,613
You will stop at nothing.
368
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,215
Who do you want
to stick with,
369
00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:58,616
Me or the liar?
370
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,754
- You want me
to choose?
371
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,288
- That's right.
372
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:05,590
She thinks
you like her better
373
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:07,191
And want to be her friend.
374
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,526
- Why shouldn't he
be her friend?
375
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,761
They enjoy each other.
376
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,696
- Sure, now,
377
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,631
But he's gonna find
it's a quick trip to nagville.
378
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:17,702
Am I wrong?
379
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,504
It's already started
with the piano lessons.
380
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,105
You said yourself
381
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,507
You didn't want
to play piano anymore.
382
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:25,610
- Somebody could have told me.
383
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,216
- Why can't I be
both your friends?
384
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,351
- Well, for one thing,
385
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:34,585
I find that people
who like me
386
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:38,056
Generally can't stand him.
387
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,257
- Ma, I don't get this,
388
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,525
There's got to be
plenty of ladies
389
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:41,826
You can be friends
with out there.
390
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,729
Hit the bingo circuit.
391
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,764
- What about your father?
392
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:51,102
There's enough naked, wrinkly
old men at the lodge for him.
393
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,839
- Please, I'm already
in the vomiting position.
394
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:58,676
- So pick already.
395
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,511
- I don't like this.
396
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,080
This is not right.
397
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,582
This is not
a husband and wife.
398
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:08,786
Before my wife died,
we were friends.
399
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,427
- Are you gonna pick or not?
400
00:18:21,733 --> 00:18:23,367
- This is what you really want?
401
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:28,506
I choose frank.
402
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,274
- Yes.
403
00:18:35,747 --> 00:18:37,115
- I'm sorry.
404
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,850
- No, listen,
I understand.
405
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,618
- I did not want to choose.
406
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,453
- You don't have
to explain, marco.
407
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,622
Why don't we all
have some cake?
408
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:51,362
- Hey, marie,
wait a second.
409
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,235
You take him.
410
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,305
- No, that's okay, frank.
411
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,741
You don't have to do that.
You keep him.
412
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,214
- No, I don't want him anymore.
413
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,416
- I want you two guys
to go and have fun.
414
00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,818
Go to the lodge.
415
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,554
- Nah, I got plenty of friends
at the lodge,
416
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:20,358
So, uh...You take him.
417
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,627
- Frank, I don't want him
all the time.
418
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,630
Can't you take him
some of the time?
419
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,832
- So now you're
sticking me with him?
420
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,935
- This is so typical of you.
421
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,739
- Hey.
Cake!
422
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:40,511
- All right, so you should play
"happy birthday" on the piano.
423
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,248
- All right, I'm gonna play
a dirty version, though.
424
00:19:44,250 --> 00:19:46,651
[singing] tiny butt day to you
425
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,488
- Rejected by both of them.
426
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,658
Boy, I know how that feels.
427
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,194
That's all right, marco.
Let it out.
428
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,596
Let it all out.
429
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:04,202
That's it.
430
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,375
- So that was a good party.
431
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,744
- What? How was that good
for your mother?
432
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,379
You guys made her
lose a friend.
433
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,248
- Aw, come on.
Don't start.
434
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,550
- Listen, ray,
I want to tell you something.
435
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,485
If I meet somebody
and I want to be their friend,
436
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,988
I'm not gonna tolerate
any of your caveman crap.
437
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,624
I don't care what sex they are;
a friend is a friend,
438
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,893
And I can be friends
with whoever I want.
439
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,761
[doorbell rings]
440
00:20:32,998 --> 00:20:35,533
- Hello. I am looking
for my father.
441
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:36,968
He is here?
442
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:40,004
- No, no, he isn't,
but come in, friend.
30536
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