Original subtitles

Looking for Love tour night one.

What are you looking forward to the most?

It's the Looking for Love tour. I need to find the one.

GATA: He's worried about finding the one.

There's way too many hoes out here to be worried about one.

Me and you have entirely different philosophies

on dating; I love love, personally.

GATA: This dude is crazy.

He got his face on a whole tour bus out here,

and he's worried about love?

You can't let this opportunity pass you by.

DAVE: I've been waiting my whole life for this opportunity.

I'm just saying, I'm gonna use the social leverage

that comes with being a rapper to find the one more easily.

She'll see me clearer.

GATA: Well, I hope you see me, ladies,

'cause I'm in every city and I need

two bitches on me on both arms, like a Rollie.

Really? It has to be two women on both arms like a Rollie?

Like, let's... Women are not objects.

GATA: (SCOFFS) Fuck it. (LAUGHS)

?

(WHIRRING)

?

?

Oh, my God.

- Is this it? - This is her.

She is here, she is unbelievable.

Wow, you're pretty liberal with the pronouns.

- Hmm. - This is...

- unbelievable. - Yeah.

You really got to appreciate the craftsmanship, though.

- Look at these... - Yeah, pure milk of magnesia in there.

Design it that way.

Wait, how much did she cost, again?

Uh, like, $7,000.

- You paid... - There was a version

that cost 15 grand, by the way.

- Okay, so the class war is real. This is... - Yeah.

That one could stand and it could, like, totally speak.

It could be like, "Hi, Dave, how you doing?"

But this one's more than suitable.

Came with a nice, cute wig. She is a brunette.

- This is... Is this a tampon? - (GROANS)

I hope not. That would be such a burden for me to maintain.

I don't know what this is. It's cool-looking. I'll look it up.

- Hmm... - This is... Looks like a vibrator or something.

(SOUND FADING): This is crazy. So small...

_

What am I looking up again?

- The tampons. - Oh. Yeah.

Oh. That's to warm her orifices.

It's kind of cold-blooded.

I mean, that's good, my old way was so unwieldy.

- What was your... - If that's the right... You don't want to know.

It involved a stick and a space heater.

And don't worry, this is not gonna replace you in any way.

This is simply a tool to elevate masturbation.

- I wasn't. Should I be... - You shouldn't be.

Okay. I'm not weirded out by this, weirdly.

- You really get me. - Mm-hmm. Yeah.

But maybe don't fuck her while I'm in the house, you know?

I just don't know if I can unsee that.

- I can do that. - You can?

I can not do that.

- Thanks. - Yeah, sure.

What?

Yeah, I know, Robyn's leaving town soon

and you're excited about it, but I'm not.

I'm actually really dreading it,

and it makes me sad when I think about it.

Okay.

I'm gonna go read.

- Yeah. Okay. - Here. I will be in the home.

Understood. Yes. Don't fuck it now.

- Yes. - Sure.

Must be pretty cool to see your weird dreams

- become a reality. - It really is.

It really is.

?

? You don't even care about me ?

? Tell me why I care about you ?

? This ain't the movies ?

? But I think that you're the one ?

? Rachel, let me be your Mr. McAdams ?

? Rachel, they gonna call me Mr. McAdams ?

? I'll take your name, girl, facts ?

? It's insanely far-fetched, I ain't playing ?

? Why you think I've been rapping ?

? To be Mr. McAdams, say yes ?

? Don't lie to me, don't lie to me ?

? Don't lie, you think I'm fucking sick ?

? You think I lost my shit, you think I'm weird A. F. ?

? But that endearing freckle up on your chin is too much ?

? I got a freckle on my face, too ?

? I know you've dated Taylor Kitsch ?

? And I know you've seen Ryan Gosling's dick ?

? Ooh, aww, girl, I don't know it all, girl ?

? I just want to take you to a ball, have a ball, girl ?

? Valet will call me Mr. McAdams. ?

DAVE: Okay.

(WHISTLES)

- That's a big song. - Yeah.

Look at LD out here cheating on his girlfriend

- with a movie star. - Damn.

I mean, she's not my girlfriend, technically,

like, the terms have not been defined yet.

But, like, I'm just making a funny comedy song

about the concept of a dream woman

- that everyone's gonna relate to. - Mm.

But I would never cheat on a girl. Sorry.

I'm not a dirtbag like you, Gata.

- I'm a good guy. - Man, I was cheating out the gate.

I had girls doing my homework.

That's so cool to say.

- (CHUCKLES) - I'm gonna go do a verse pass, okay?

Start me up, Johnny.

It's "Beam me up, Scotty," you fucking idiot.

Hey, bro, I know you working on his shit,

but you need to turn that shit down.

- Look at this. - (MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE)

ANNOUNCER (OVER VIDEO): What happens when 15 horny singles

with moderate to severe mental health issues gather in one house

- in a tropical paradise... - Tropical paradise.

... and are told they can't have sex or freak out?

One way or another, someone's gonna get nuts.

Yo, what's up? What's really real?

It's your boy Gata.

I'm bipolar, I'm a sex addict.

I ain't never went a week without smashing a bitch.

You know I keep the hoes in rotation.

I'm gonna win me a million dollars on the Nut Haus.

ANNOUNCER: Nut Haus. This September.

GATA: Nut Haus.

If I fuck and nut, bro, or if I go nuts

and have an episode and go manic and ramp up too much,

I lose. But this show? (BLOWS RASPBERRY)

- Gonna be fire. - That is the dumbest fucking thing

I've ever heard in my damn life, Gata.

(LAUGHS): What the fuck are you talking about right now?

Bro, you just a hater, man. I'm tired

- of your hatin'-ass vibes, dawg. - (LAUGHS): I'm not...

I'm not hating, bro, I'm just being honest, dawg.

That shit is fucking trash.

- They're exploiting you. - Bro, just because you scared

to make a move and go after shit that you want in life,

that's your problem, but me?

I'm a rock star, dawg. I'm-a have moments where I look bad,

I'm-a have moments where I look like the man,

But you, you ain't never gonna have shit.

? It's insanely far-fetched, I ain't playing ?

? Why you think I've been rapping ?

? To be Mr. McAdams, say yes. ?

?

- Hey. - Hey.

(SIGHS)

- I'm nervous. - You okay?

- (LAUGHS) No. - What's going on with you?

Okay.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah. Repositioning.

Am I supposed to reposition?

- Is, like... What's going on? - No.

I'm-I'm, um...

I'm moving to L. A.

- You are? - Yeah.

Wow.

- Yeah. - That's awesome.

We talked about me getting out of Wisconsin

and just, like, finally having that push and, like,

I'm actually getting jobs here, which is really exciting, and it's...

- It's excit... That's why I'm here. - Yeah.

That's... It feels... It makes it all feel real now.

- You know? - Yeah. Yeah. It...

- The... us is real. It is real. - Yeah.

It's always been real.

You know, we've been dating and...

Yeah. W-We go on dates.

- Yeah. - We're dating.

Yeah.

You look terrified.

- Do I? - You look really freaked out.

You know what it is? I'm not freaked out.

It's just, like, for me, whenever I get, like,

new, big information, it just takes me a little while

to, like, wrap my head around things.

I'm a slow cooker, you know? You got to let me roast.

That's all that's happening. It's like, big information,

brain processing, neurons flying.

But, like, the neurons are, like, fireworks,

- and that's good. - Okay.

- Neurons? (LAUGHS) - Yeah, the... Yeah.

I th... I'm... I am so excited. Like, I was dreading you leaving.

- Okay. I'm excited. - Let's kiss.

Should we kiss and seal the deal?

- I want to fuck. - All right.

- Later, though. - Mmm.

- Congrats to us. - Mm.

- To... B-But you, especially. - Yeah.

- Mm. - Mm.

?

(DOOR CLOSES)

(KEYBOARD CLICKING)

_

_

_

_

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

Hmm.

(OVER EARBUDS): ? Mr. McAdams, say yes. ?

Wow.

Okay...

- I fucking love it. - Uh... You do?

- Yes. - Okay, 'cause obviously,

I'm being, like, intentionally silly

- at parts, but... - Right, right, of course, but...

Dave.

I-I love it.

- Your hands are as smooth as eggs. - Oh, thank you.

Would you ever be in the music video for "Mr. McAdams"?

Of course. I-I-I... Uh, how could I not?

- How could you not? That's what I'm saying. - Okay.

Um, like, are you thinking sex scene, or...?

- Mm-hmm. - Have you ever done one?

No, but I'm, I'm... I... I'm... I could.

Okay, well, we could talk about it.

I'm ready for that.

If that's what, if that's what you think the, um, creative calls for.

- Cool. - Which, I see it that way, too, personally.

- Yeah. - I don't want to intrude or say it like,

"Come," like, "fuck me on camera," but...

Right. Yeah. Well, you know what?

We can figure all the details out later,

but I mean, it will come down to scheduling...

- Mm. - ... you know. But I would like to come.

Do you like Drake?

Love Drake. My favorite artist ever.

I've actually been crafting a DM to him for about six weeks now

and I'm too big of a coward to send it

'cause it just has to be the perfect message.

I don't even know if he's gonna read it, but...

Well, we should just call him. I'll...

Oh, no, wait, he's in Ghana. Shit.

- Mm. - Tell you what.

Beat me at an arm wrestle,

and I will put you on a text with him right now.

- Hmm? - Okay. Fine.

- Well, let's fucking do this. Oh, my God. - That's right.

- You're gonna connect me to him? - Ooh.

Feel your heart racing.

Well...

It's like a bird.

I am a bird.

Well, if you're a bird, I'm a bird.

Yeah? Ah!

(WHISPERS): Fuck.

(MOANS)

Oh, my God, do you, like, lift weights?

- Jesus. - (SHUSHES)

Fuck.

Jesus.

Dude, like, wake up.

Mmm.

?

(GASPS) What the fuck?

Oh, no, if this lipstick isn't gonna come off... Fuck.

- (EXCLAIMS) Morning! - (SHOUTS)

- I see you met her. - What the fuck?

Doesn't she look so cool now?

- How could you do this? - She's so heavy.

She's, like, way heavier than I thought that she would be.

We're the same size, so...

You're not the same size. Are you 149 centimeters?

No, 'cause that's four foot nine. Are you a legal pygmy?

I don't know my height in centimeters. I...

Why did you put lipstick on her?

I hate lipstick.

What?

"Why did you put lipstick on her, comma,

I hate lipstick."

- She looks like a whore. - It is a whore, Dave.

You bought it to fuck it.

- No, I don't fuck it yet. - Okay, I'm sorry. I...

It-it'll obviously come off. I'll just fucking take it off.

No, I'm not using, like, other products that work

on human skin, like, this is machina.

Like, you don't understand how it all works.

It's g... If it's gonna work on human skin,

- it's gonna work on your... - I'm looking at her lips

right now, and they're, like, caking off

as I rub, so I'm, like, worried that there's permanent damage

- that can't be undone here. - Jesus Christ.

I'm sorry, but I never splurged on anything like this.

And it's, like, my thing and...

(EXHALES): Yeah.

Okay, well, yeah.

- I'm like... - We are...

- It's just, this is... - I'm sorry.

She's your...

stuff, and I shouldn't have...

No, I'm sorry.

It's just like...

Do you have any idea how long I've been looking forward to this?

How long have you been looking forward to this?

So long.

- So long? - Yeah, I was on that fucking tour,

just waiting to be in this bed with you,

but no, I was going city to city,

- trudging through this nation. - Mm. (LAUGHS)

- EMMA: What are you most excited about? - Meeting her.

My wife. Meeting her. I can't wait.

- GATA: Your wife? Bro. - I have a good feeling.

Man, fuck no, ain't looking for love on this tour, man.

I already know what it is. ? Light skin ?

? Dark skin, Puerto Rican, Asian. ?

- What do you want out of life? - Oh, you a hot Jewish rapper, bro.

What do you want out of life? Like, what are your goals?

I just want to make it to the top, bro, with you.

There's more to life than, like, fucking girls

- and, like, being rich. - ... model you thought I was.

- I'm Rick James, bitch. - (LAUGHTER)

Ideally, of course, it's something cute.

Like, I'm walking down the street and she walks out of, like,

a Barnes & Noble right as, like,

that guitar lick from Goo Goo Dolls' "Slide"

is playing. (IMITATES GUITAR RIFF)

I've never fucked back here, but let me tell you,

right here, on this mattress right here, though,

the middle of the hallway.

ELZ: Having to hear Gata have sex every night is so annoying.

MIKE: I am really happy for him, I'm not gonna lie.

ELZ: Dave has the most unused rapper dick ever.

If you're gonna wrangle the women, right?

- If you're gonna go out and you're gonna... - Yeehaw!

Say you're gonna do it.

- Do you know what my type is? - Yeah.

- Red hair... - What?

- EMMA: What's your type? - DAVE: I would say

girl next-door, sweet.

- No, because... Okay. - DAVE: Show me the...

- Oh, my God. - I have feet... hands for feet.

- What do you mean? - Look it, I could hold your hand.

GATA: Let me tell you what I need.

Every woman I don't got is the woman I need.

- You just make shit up. - Damn. Hey, this is ghetto poetry, man.

I'm telling you, when you run this back,

you gonna get some gems out of this, Emma, I'm telling you.

- (KEYBOARD CLICKS) - DAVE: I think it's all starting to come together.

It's... it is slow, though, just in the way it unfolds.

We're gonna have to shave some frames off the ol' tail of it.

Dave, I can't keep frame-fucking this shit every time we're together.

No one's gonna notice a two-frame difference.

I would notice the difference, every single time I watch it.

I can't watch this and be tortured

- and seeing it's erroneous. - Okay, hold on. Give me a sec.

This is an editing session. I mean, hello,

welcome to the industry, Emma.

- Geez Louise. - God, you're so annoying.

Okay. You know what you just earned?

You just earned a little over-the-shoulder Dave time.

Yep, okay. Let's abandon the micro stuff

and let's talk macro for a moment, huh?

Macro?

I'm trying to finish this for the screening.

I'm trying to help get us there.

Like, I'm trying to help that. I understand.

You're the one who set up a friends-and-family screening

without having me see the thing, it's like...

I'm not sure we're telling the right story, currently.

This should be a tale of a sweet man looking for love.

Not me and my hype man going across America

talking about who's getting sucked the most.

Listen, as the person trying to run Dave's foundation,

I would protect everyone a little bit more.

And not to pile on, but I-I would like

to cut the Robyn footage from the end.

It's a documentary about you looking for love.

- Yeah. - And all the Robyn footage is really cute.

That has to be the ending.

I-I don't even tell Robyn that "I love you."

Like, we're not even at that place in our relationship.

Why is everyone trying to force me to, like, advance

my relationship with this person? I don't even...

I am not trying to force you to advance

- your relationship. - We barely know each other yet.

It's called storytelling, Dave.

I know, it's also called my personal life, Emma,

- and it's like... - It this too personal for you?

- Yeah. - Because you asked me to film you taking a shit.

That's impersonal from my van...

I don't care. Anyone can watch me shit.

A child could watch me shit, I wouldn't give a fuck.

Look, can you show me what other end options could exist?

Here's what I had before the Robyn footage.

DAVE (OVER VIDEO): And if I'm not blown away,

it's not good enough, and I'm not gonna settle. So...

EMMA: So, how many stones are you gonna turn over to find her?

I'll turn over every goddamn stone in the world.

(KEYBOARD CLICKS)

Is this the only possible ending?

Will one of you fuckers come over here

and pull my bush? (CACKLES)

Film him, film him. It's perfect for the documentary.

MIKE: You're never gonna get this guy to sign a release.

He's drunk as a skunk.

I just fucked that skunk up

and deep throat his ass.

- Man... - Oh, the Jewish penis of the skunk, right?

You deep throat the two-inch stick of the skunk?

You're good with all this? Right, brother?

- Shit, yeah, man! - DAVE: What did Malcolm say?

BOTH: By any means necessary.

Dicky's looking for love, and I'm looking for bud.

(LAUGHTER)

- DAVE: Oh, my God. - EMMA: Make sure you're in focus.

DAVE: I don't even know if I'm in focus,

but this is the best shot. This is, like, iconic.

I don't know, I just...

I'm ashamed of the amount I smoke weed.

- But I can't stop. - GATA: Don't be ashamed.

- GATA: Just a part of the game. - EMMA: Yeah, why can't you just let go?

DAVE: What about you, Gata? What are your demons?

Not releasing semen is my demon.

DAVE: I feel like you're filling a void.

This guy right here is a deep thinker, dude.

- It's not that deep. - That's why all his songs

are so, like, complex and shit,

while I'm talking about, "I really be having it."

DAVE: When I started rapping is the first time I, like,

started getting high 'cause I just like escaped

who I... like, I'm just not, like, naturally, like, a rapper.

Like, I need to, like, go to another place to, like...

Dude, you got to tap out of that David Burd.

I... Yeah, I don't know.

It's like, why do I need to escape reality?

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

But my reality is, uh, good. I don't know,

I just think, even when my reality is good,

I think too much about what's not perfect about that reality.

EMMA: Like, why can't you just accept it?

I don't know. What... Don't ask...

- What are you doing? - DAVE: Why can't you accept...

- No, I don't want to be on camera. - Yeah, exactly. How do you feel?

You put up a wall for no reason.

Just let us love you.

- You're looking for love, too. - EMMA: Will you stop?

- ELZ: See? See? See how it feels? - I don't want to be on camera.

It's very invasive, isn't it?

When did you get so uptight?

S... Working with Dave.

ELZ: Working with Dave. You talking about working for Dave?

I'm not working for Dave.

Does... Is this the right frame?

'Cause I think it would be more impactful in a wide.

Where I'd be like, I'm more alone.

EMMA: It's a documentary.

(LAUGHTER)

CAROL: He's always been like that, his whole life.

EMMA: I mean, it's wildly difficult

working with Dave because he is an insane person.

DAVE: I don't want this footage, Emma.

(LAUGHTER)

MIKE: Fuck, marry, kill. I would...

fuck Gata, 'cause he... I know he's a good fuck.

- (LAUGHTER) - Uh, I would marry you.

Kill Dave is probably the thing that matters the most to me.

How do we kill Dave?

We'll say it on the count of three at the same time.

One, two, three.

- Strangulation. - Strangulate him with a pillow!

(BOTH CHEER)

- (LAUGHTER) - ELZ: I would...

- MIKE: Strangle with... Dawg. - (CHUCKLES)

I've never worked so hard for someone in my entire life.

And I worked at Outback Steakhouse.

He is...

the most difficult musician I've ever worked with,

and I worked with a lot of random rappers who are terrible,

and this man, for some reason, has just made life so difficult.

We used to take him shopping for those action figures.

- Oh, geez. The action figures. - Do you remember that?

DON: He would go back and forth about which one to get,

and he would analyze the pros and the cons...

- CAROL: Yeah. - ... of each one.

It was the, what did he call it? The no stone unturned...

- The "no stone unturned" method. - Yeah. Yeah.

- No stone unturned. - No stone unturned.

- No stone unturned. - Fuck that phrase.

I got so stressed out I had a kidney stone.

I pissed out a stone. A stone out of my penis.

EMMA: It became very clear that to properly document

this man looking for love,

I had to document how this man looks for everything.

So I started filming our edit sessions.

So we're gonna have to shave some frames off the ol' tail of it.

EMMA: No one's gonna notice a two-frame difference.

I would notice the difference every single time I watch it.

- I can't watch this and be tortured... - Okay, hold on.

- EMMA: Give me a sec. - This is an editing session.

I mean, hello, welcome to the industry, Emma.

- Geez Louise. - EMMA: Fine.

DAVE: Did you take my cheesesteak?

GATA: Nah. Was it good?

Honestly, it was very close to ideal.

The bread just, like, wasn't good enough.

I mean, the couch is nice and firm. It is a good couch.

It's almost everything you'd want in a couch.

I will say, like, the pillows are just, like, not quite right.

- (LAUGHTER) - ELZ: He's always been this way.

MIKE: That's Dave. He's never satisfied,

it's never finished, so we're never finished.

ELZ: As you fucking know, very annoying.

And then he'll say, like, one thing

like, "Love you, big cat," and it's like...

(WHISPERS): "You son of a bitch."

Some people are afraid of the hard work

and the ethic that LD has.

Some people are afraid of being pushed to the limit.

- It's the honest truth. - You're growing up.

I'm trying, bro.

So working with him is like working with a young Phil Jackson.

I can just envision that fool

saying, "Gata!"

Like, I can look in his eyes and tell

he want to bring the best out of me.

Or, like, Einstein, because he's Jewish.

(LAUGHTER)

When I met him, I thought he was a psycho,

because he said he was gonna be a famous rapper

and I was like, "What?"

He had a vision,

and it became a reality.

ELZ: I've been lucky enough to work with my best friend since I was six

and he's changed my life, so...

He's the closest male figure I've got.

And my dad never, you know...

I believe in Dave so fucking much it's ridiculous.

- EMMA: Will you ever be satisfied? - DAVE: Probably not.

At the end of the day, I'm gonna need something

other than, like, musical success to satisfy me.

- EMMA: Like what? - Like love.

DAVE: I believe in the truest form of love.

Someone's got to come along and save me from this, like,

self-fulfilling prophecy I'm in.

EMMA: How will you know it's her?

When I meet my dream girl,

boy, oh, boy, will it be evident.

It's like, I will know early on.

It's not the type of thing that you need to take time to figure out.

I'm just, like, not gonna get into a relationship

and then, like, let it slowly develop and, like...

If I'm not blown away, it's not good enough,

and I'm not gonna settle, so...

EMMA: So, how many stones are you gonna turn over to find her?

I'll turn over every goddamn stone in the world.

I'll turn over every goddamn stone in the world.

Is this the only possible ending?

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

(WHOOPING, WHISTLING)

ROBYN: I'm gonna go get some fresh air.

- DAVE: Okay. - EMMA: Hey, you guys.

Hi. Wow.

- EMMA: Yeah? - Did not see that coming at all.

So, like, what, all those editing sessions, like,

they weren't even real, it was, like, all a total charade?

I mean, it was very real.

Just not what you were expecting.

I got to be honest, I do feel manipulated.

But in the most artistic way possible.

Well, I learned from the best.

- I'm, like, blown away. - (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

I don't even have that many comments or notes.

Like, obviously, there's a few things we have to do

- before it goes, like, fully public... - Oh, Dave.

This isn't our thing.

It's mine.

I'm not compromising my vision for anything.

Are you being serious?

It's, like, the "Lil Dicky Looking for Love" documentary.

- I literally hired you and br... - You didn't hire me.

You didn't pay me.

You really want to do this? You want to play this game?

Okay, all that hidden footage type of stuff

that I never consented to,

can't use it, sorry, never gave my permission.

No, there were those fliers all around.

So, sorry.

There will be no more notes.

You're out of stones.

BINIAM: Emma?

- Yeah? Hi. - I'm Biniam.

BINIAM: Uh, Mike invited me. I work at A24.

- EMMA: Hi. - Man, that last scene...

It's pretty fucking wild, but...

I mean, I got to give her credit, though.

She did have this whole fucking vision and she just got it.

You know? And I certainly can't knock that, but...

You okay?

No. I feel pretty dumb.

- You feel dumb? - I just watched 90 minutes

of you "looking for love,"

and I was nowhere in sight, so...

Are you still looking?

Am I not the result that you wanted?

No.

I mean, yes.

Or...

Well, Emma went so rogue on the whole thing,

like, it's hard to pin this on me.

Yeah, sure is.

What about all the stuff that you said on camera?

Y-You talked at length about how,

when you met the right person, that you were

just gonna immediately know right away.

Like, when did you say that?

- The... - Look, it doesn't matter

when I said that, independent of

if it was before you or after you or, like...

I have been basing my philosophy and idea of love

on this, like, truly childlike belief

that love comes in and sweeps you off your feet

in a way where you know right when it happens,

and that's just not the way the world works,

- and that's okay. - I don't want to be,

this, like, sad fucking version of that.

I don't want to be the understudy

to this, like, grand version of love that you want.

I don't want to be the sad reality.

I want to be the thing that excites you.

You do excite me. It's like, that's not...

Look, I'm on the Looking for Love tour,

shooting a Looking for Love documentary.

During that whole shooting, I'm gonna be a guy

that more or less is, like, endlessly looking for love.

- That's my image at this point. - Dave, it's not your image, though.

Okay? It's not your image, it's just you.

You are perpetually looking for love,

but you don't actually want to find it.

Not true.

- That's not... - Maybe if I was Rachel McAdams,

I would've made your movie.

Maybe I, like... Y-You had no problem

writing a whole love song about her.

And yeah, I heard it. I'm sorry that I'm a human being with ears.

I heard the song.

I'm sorry you heard that out of context.

But like, that song doesn't mean anything.

Like the one that you wrote for me?

N-No. Not like that.

Dave, I am here, I'm in your house,

I...

I'm thinking that we're, you know, like...

falling in love.

And I feel like an idiot.

- You're not an idiot. - I feel really fucking stupid.

- You're not stupid. You're not doing anything... - Like, what am I doing out here?

- What am I doing out here? - I can't... Stop.

I think things are trending so well between us,

- towards a serious... - "Trending well"?

Do you hear yourself? "Trending well"?

How much data do you need to decide that I am worthy?

It's crazy, for someone who, like, builds an entire career

off of, like, making fun of his own flaws,

you expect everyone else to be perfect.

Work that out with yourself. (SCOFFS)

It's...

I don't expect perfection. I know that nobody's perfect.

I understand that, but, like, just like everything in my life,

I have such high expectations

and I try to have the highest level of achievement

- at all times, so when I'm talking about... - Oh, my God.

Women are not achievements, Dave. We're not achievements.

It's... (LAUGHS)

You talk so much shit

about Gata being this, like, misogynistic fuck,

but you're actually just as bad.

You're just lying to yourself and to everyone else.

Uh, what do you... uh, I don't know, what do you...

uh, what am I supposed to say? Like, I-I lo... I...

I'm not upset that you don't love me, okay?

I'm just sad,

because I'm pretty sure you do,

but you won't commit until you are 100% certain

that I am the absolute best that you can do.

That has nothing to do with me.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

So I'm gonna go.

(STAMMERS)

- Please don't. - Um...

You're a famous rapper. (LAUGHS SOFTLY)

So I'm sure your dream girl will just show up.

Robyn.

I didn't have any control over that documentary.

Like, it was not my vision at all.

I'm not your vision, either, Dave.

No one is.

Your vision is your vision.

(STAMMERS)

?

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTING, PANTING)

Fuck.

(GRUNTS)

?

(GRUNTS) Fuck.

Oh.

Fuck.

God...

?

(EXHALES)

?

(PHONE CHIMES)

? I'm a hopeless romantic ?

? I just got left, that hurt, she was my best and worst ?

? Come and collect your shirts ?

? It cannot get much worse ?

? Fuck it, I'm-a ball like Nerf, fuck it, I'm-a ball like Dirk ?

? Hoping that my heart don't burst ?

? Either way, I'll be Milly Rocking in this bitch ?

? Hey, time of my life ?

? I was just, we were just ?

- ? We were just ? - ? Chilling ?

? Getting high ?

- ? We were just ? - ? We were just ?

- ? Now we're just ? - ? I made you happy. ?

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