All language subtitles for American Dad s20e09 Saving Face.eng

[ Alarm beeping ]

Stan, what are you--
it's Saturday.

I thought your spin class
was cancelled.

I don't know, the alarm's
got a mind of its own.

[ Beeping continues ]
Wait a second.

Oh, my God,
it's my Peak Day alarm.

I set this years ago.[ Beeping stops ]

[ Groans ]
Why, you ask?

It's all here, in my vintage
issue of Men's Health.

Aside from correctly
predicting Zachery Ty Bryan's

A-lister career,
it has an article about

when a man hits the scientific
prime of his life,

his "peak,"
at the third month

of his 42nd year.
That's today.

What's it say about women?
When's my peak?

Oh, good Lord, that would
have been ages ago...

a-and stretching
far into the future.

Yes. Even my obvious lies
are at peak performance.

♪ Good morning, U.S.A.

♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪

♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say

♪ Good-- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.

Aah!

♪ Good morning, U.S.A.

Welcome back to "Morning
Mimosa" with Trish and Suze.

It's time to call
some of the men

who ghosted Trish
after one date.

First up on the list is
a humorless little schmuck

named Suckboi Tony.

Hey.

- Come on.
- What the [bleep]

It's time for
a thrilling Stan-nouncement.

Today, I have officially hit
"Peak Stan."

Everything at this moment in
my life is hitting its stride.

I've got it all--
wonderful wife, great kids,

fridge in the garage.

A blend of faculties
and experience

that are in total sync.

Cool, Dad, great.

Speak up, my boy,
can't hear you up at the peak.

Can we put
the TV back on?

Hayley, is that you?

Wind's whippin'
like a mother up here.

Be careful, Stan,
as they're constantly saying

on the series "The Crown,"

"Heavy is the head
that wears the crown."

What are you
talking about?

I think he's saying that when
you're on top of the mountain,

people are gonna try
to knock you off.

- Right, Klaus?
- Right.

Man, you always get me, Francine.

Meet me in the kitchen.

You may be right.

At the peak,
I'm most exposed.

But also at the peak,
I can see my enemies coming--

in every direction.

I can also see them not able
to handle the altitude.

Should've hired a Sherpa, haters.

Come on, honey, let's go
to the grocery store.

I want you
to see what it's like

when a man at his peak
buys baked beans.

So, Roger,
if you need pointers on how to maximize free samples

without these crummy farmers
giving you crap, just ask.

We do this a lot.

I like to grab a sample,

take a little lap,
come back and pretend

I'm a different
talking fish.

That was my tip.
I told you that.

No you didn't.
My oma taught me that

when I was a young ski jumper
in Dusseldorf--

Are you [bleep]
with me right now?

How did I end up
in this grouping?

Feel like I got put
on the practice squad.

Whoa.

Four bucks for one apple?

That's robbery,
I'll give two.

They're $4.
We have samples if you--

No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not trying anything.

I am in control
of this negotiation.

Take the sample.

- What is he doing?
- Is it even good?

The best
you'll ever have.

See, now you've overplayed
your hand

and just lost a customer.

I'm walking away.

Adios, señor.

Still got any
of those apples?

Sucker.
That's a fiver.

This is gonna be amazing.

People forget,
but apples can go toe-to-toe

with any fruit
out there.

Well, not peaches,
plums, pears, pomegranates, pineapples--

and those are
just the "P's"-- but a good apple is good.

What are you waiting for?
Get to munchin', bro.

Oh, no, I paid out the ass
for this thing.

The setting
must be perfect.

Every single bite
has to be savored.

My hands are empty.
Why are my hands empty?

I dropped the apple.
When did I drop the apple?

There it goes.

[ Gasps ]
Aah!

It went into
that tiny... sinkhole.

I know.

I thought for sure it would
go into that one.

Say, "Pe-e-e-e-eak."[ Camera shutter clicks ]

I'm ready now.

I'm thinking about
a prime filet.

You offering any discounts?

I've hit my peak, see.

Congrats there, friend.

Guess it's all downhill
from here.

[ Both chuckle ]

Wait. Wait.
Wait, what do you mean?

Don't you get it,
I'm at my peak.

Sure, but once you've gone
all the way up,

there's nowhere to go
but, uh--Farther up?

Uh, how about
a dry-aged steak?

Dry?

Aged?

Is that what I look like
to you?

Hey. I couldn't help
but notice you,

and I had to ask.

What's your number?

[ Giggles ]
Oh, Tom.

Hey,
are you hitting on my wife?

I was just joking about
what number she was in line.

Tom, your horniness
is a problem for our business.

Everybody's coming for me.
They smell blood in the water.

You're reading
way too much into this.

Oh, this is rich.

Even the flier guy
thinks I'm weak.

Stan,
they're on every car.

I'm not weak!

Alright,
update on the peak.

My enemies think
I'm on the downslope.

And thank you for warning me.
Your loyalty will be rewarded.

We were just teasing, Stan.

I wasn't even listening.

Don't take this
the wrong way, Dad,

but other people
don't spend a lot of time

thinking about
- your life. - Maybe.

But lemme bounce an idea
back at you.

I am Tom Brady.

[ All groan ]

People are jealous
and dying to see me lose.

But, like Tom, I'm starting
an anti-aging regimen.

Goop lotions and serums,

removing nightshades
from my diet,

and daily brain training,
like the crossword.

I don't know
any of these.

Point is,
with this regimen,

I can take my peak
and turn it into

a mesa.

Flat greatness. Forever.

Stan, I think you're going
about this all wrong.

And honestly?

Being pretty narcissistic.

Narcissistic?
I'm thinking about other people

and how they think
of me.

Huh, him again.

♪

Hmm, my curiosity is piqued.

Hi, there, Stan.

I'm Dr. Revánche.

Like I said
to the tech,

I don't want to do
anything crazy, just--

Freeze the peak.

You came
to the right place.

Look what I can do.

Damn, son,
bring a bucket and mop.

Am I right?
[ Laughs ]

But if I can be serious,
this is moving fast.

Maybe a tiny bit of Botox
to freshen up instead?

Of course.
Let's start small.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

That's the needle you use
for Botox?

This is the needle I use
for heart paralysis.

[ Grunts ]
I'm a bad guy.

Oh, that's...
honest, at least.

[ Body thuds ][ Groaning ]

[ Seagulls squawking ]

[ Saw whirs ]

Hello, Stan.

[ Gasps,
breathing shakily ]

Aah!
What did you do to me?!

Stan, don't worry.

You're going to love
your new face.

Although, your old one
is pretty nice, too.

[ Whimpers ]
You were right,

someone was coming
for you.

It was me.

I started with your face,
but trust me,

it doesn't end there.

I'm gonna take
your whole life.

[ Tires squeal ]

Aah!
Oh, my God, this is crazy.

And what is going on
with my voice?

Oh, I also switched out
your larynx with that guy's.

And I love it.

♪ Good morning,
alleywa-a-a-a-a-y ♪

My beautiful face.

My beautiful voice.

That doctor changed everything.

Oh, my God.

I guess it's the same.

Oh, my God, what are you
even going on about?

Sorry,
I was talking to myself.

So was I.

Not everything revolves
around you.

No. No.
Lose the hat.

You're right,
it's too much.

Okay. We are a family
at the table.

It is time
- for a meal. - Uh-huh.

- Yeah.
- Good summary, Dad.

What's going on
with your voice?

It's peaking,
along with the rest of me.

It's like
a second puberty.

There's a second puberty?

Oh, no.

Got you.
[ Screams ]

I said that
way too soon.

Stay where you are.
I said, "Got you."

- Cop tackle!
- Lemme go.

Who is that?

And why are they here?

I asked them
to stake out the house.

I noticed this man
following me,

and was afraid he might come
for my home and family.

Lies.
He's not who you think he is.

He stole my face
and my voice.

I'm Stan, not him.

How do you explain this, then?

Can't fake that.

You gotta believe me.

I just went to the doctor
to get Botox,

you know, to preserve my peak,
and maybe some lip filler--

I'll give ya
some lip filler.[ Grunts ]

He said lip.

Why didn't you punch him
in the mouth?

Oh, duh, of course.

Hey buddy, say that sweet,
sweet set-up line again.

C'mon.
If we retrace my steps,

I can show you
how he did it all.

Blammo.

Okay, let's go.

I don't think
it's coming back.

Let's just get
another apple.

No, that was a
once-in-a-lifetime deal.

I'm eating that apple.

You can't fit in there.

Sure I can.
Been in a weight-loss contest

with college friends,
so I'm slim right now.

Slacked off bad
the first week,

got chicken carbonara
from Domino's like 11 times,

but this week
I've only had coffee.

Okay, it's tight,
but not so bad.

Oh, no, oh, no,
I'm stuck, I'm stuck.

Pull me out, pull me out!
I don't wanna do this anymore!

[ Both grunt ]

[ Stomach rumbles ]

Dude.

I lied.
I had four Clif Bars

and a tub of strawberry
frosting this morning.

[ Crying ]

He made it.

Hi. Okay, it's way down there.
I'll be back.

If you don't hear from me
in a week, um...

Ya know what? Just give up.
Move on with your lives.

we'll all be fine.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Just ahead
is Dr. Revánche's office.

You'll see where
that monster duped me

and drugged me and set
his twisted plan in motion.

Buddy, it's empty.

I don't get it.

Just yesterday this was

a fully-functioning
doctor's office.

I mean, his receptionist,
Susan, sat right there.

She had a gruff exterior,
but she really went

to bat for me
with my insurance company.

Real Stan, why are we
indulging this guy?

We're trying to appease
a crazy person

because he knows
where we live.

- Plus, it's funny, right?
- I know.

He put his ads everywhere
on my drive to work.

I'll show you.[ Snickers ]

I swear, he had
like five ads in a row.

He couldn't have gotten rid
of them all.

Sir, you've peeled these ads
all the way back

to Old Hollywood.

Oh, wait, the flier
on my windshield.

Follow me.

I tossed it down here.

Is this it?

No, just a lotto ticket.

Ooh, someone left
a box unscratched.

Nope,
that was just bird shit.

Can we just arrest
this clown?

Say, this guy's clearly
going through something.

Ya know... maybe I can just
talk some sense into him.

I speak clown.

Why are you doing this?

You don't remember me,
do you?

Let me freshen
your memory.

Many years ago, I placed a bid
on my dream home,

but I had competition.

You.

So the sellers
asked each of us to write a letter

to help them decide.

I put my heart and soul
into that letter

but you must have put more
because you got the house.

And at the time,

I still believed
the world was a fair place.

Later on,
I ran into the sellers,

who informed me that
they only received one letter.

Look familiar?

"I like house.

Want to live there bad.

Other guy
seems like douche."

This is good. How come
you didn't get the house?

That was the letter
you wrote!

I don't know
how you did it,

but I know you made
my letter disappear.

Good instincts.

It was definitely me.

I took it and made
a clean getaway.

After that,
I was enraged.

I became consumed.

My wife couldn't dedicate
herself to a life of revenge,

so I ended it.

And soon I discovered
your weakness-- vanity.

So I planted the Peak Day idea
in your head

and led you
into my arms...

after med school,

a plastic surgery residency
in North Dakota,

and a couple years
keeping my [bleep] sister's

sandwich shop afloat
in Woodstock.

And now I have
what's rightfully mine--

the house and the family
I never got the chance to start.

[ Laughs maniacally ]

A security camera.

That'll prove everything.

I can't get through
to this guy.

Arrest him.

[ Both panting ]
We'll never catch him.

He had a crazy
head start.

He probably ran track.

And now I have
what's rightfully mine--

the house and the family I
never got the chance to start.

See? Told you
it was me, old friend.

Oh, my God,
you are you.

You look good, Stan.

Get a bucket
and a mop.

The voice is sexy, too.

Say "banana."

No. Stop making eyes at me
and listen.

I've been in hell.

But you can save my soul.

You're the linchpin
to my whole plan.

Oh,
I'm a great linchpin.

Reliable, strong, sexy,
charming when I need to be.

Ooh, and if your plan
involves walking,

I got a great
new set of sneakers.

Comfortable,
good price, brown.

Oh, and they got
the longest laces, Stan.

Shhhh.
Less, Tuttle.

Got ya.

Got it.

Oh. Lost it.

Got it.

Nope. Got it.

Got it, yes.

Can't hardly see a thing
in here.

An orange? Ech.
I don't want this.

Feel like I shoulda
thrown the orange.

As you can see, I've got
some heat on me right now.

So I need you
to take this tape and show my family

I am who I say I am.

I think
I'm getting a blister.

Maybe I should go home
and get a Band-Aid.

Just go.

I'm starting to panic, Stan.

Stop turning around
and talking to me.

Did that guy just step
out of the bushes?

Yeah.
And now he's talking to 'em.

You think
we should check it out?

Nah, now he's crawling back
into the bushes.

Just a nature freak.

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Tires squeal ]

Oh, my God,
he's got my family!

Looks like the Smiths
are going on vacation.

Let's check
the scanner.

Dispatcher: Officer Blatt,
Caruso, where have you been?

Officer down
at Sixth Street and Av--

Ugh, it's always bad news
with that guy.

Tell me about it.

Let's go get
some ice cream.

[ Engine starts, siren wails,
tires squeal ]

They're still gone.

We need to look for clues
to where he might be going.

Is this something?

Uch, yes,
that's an iPad.

I mean this.

Oh, my God.

Why would he do this
to her?

He's going to do surgeries
on them.

That Godless mons--
actually,

Steve might be able
to pull this off.

No, must find them.

Okay, Stan,
I'll go get my car.

Quiet. Let me think.
Where?

I remember him
testing the tools.[ Saw whirs ]

There was a bird...[ Seagulls squawking ]

...and a bridge.

A rickety wooden bridge.

Tuttle, where is the closest
rickety wooden bridge?

Uh, there's a pretty solid
one over at the library.

Rickety.
Rickety for Chrissakes.

Oh! There's one
at the Japanese tea garden.

Yes!
You're a genius.

You absolute fool.

This is not it.

I think-- ah--
it's not a bridge-- ow--

but there's a rickety dock
at the marina.

The bridge was a dock.

The bird was a seagull.

Yes, I was on a boat.

That also explains
this barnacle

that's been stuck on me
for days. Let's go.

[ Tires squeal ]

He must have them
on one of these boats.

Some kind of, I dunno,
surgery boat?

Do you know which one?

It could literally be
any of these.

Dr. Adrian Revánche:
♪ Surgery boat, surgery boat

♪ Cuttin' up faces
on a surgery boat ♪

♪ It's the eighth row over,
and the third boat do-o-o-o-wn ♪

Look, we're never gonna
find 'em if we stand around

listening to
this guy sing.

Let's split up and check
the boats one by one.

Go.

[ Saw whirring ]

Mmm.

Okay,
who wants to go first?

Please, no.

Please, sir,
have mercy.

I'll go. Always get the first
appointment of the day,

when the doctor's fresh.

Life hack
for you kids.

Stop.
You guys have to believe me.

That's not the Stan
you know.

Uh, yeah, we've pretty much
figured that out by now.

Ugh, will you please
just leave me alone?

Listen up, doc.

I'm only gonna
say this once--

fix my son's cheekbones,

then get the hell away
from my family.

Tell him, Dad.
Wai-- wuh?

[ Chuckles ]
Looking at you now,

I see that you need
a little touch-up.

Nurse, scalpel.

Still tied up
- over here. - Right.

I don't care how obsessed
you are with me,

you can't have my family.

You don't get it.

I don't want to have
your family.

I want to ruin them,

just like you ruined
my whole life.

[ Panting ]

Watch the face.
Watch the face.

Obviously, it's mine.

How dare you try to change
my family.

Let me tell you,
as a plastic surgeon,

your family
is far from perfect.

You bitch.

Maybe they're not
perfect to you,

but I love them all
as they are--

medium-looking.

Except my wife,
she's a [bleep] fox!

Time to face the music.

[ Groaning ]

I'm so sorry.

When I said I love
and accept you as you are,

I realized maybe that's what
I've been worried about

this whole time.

That once
I'm past my peak

you might not love
and accept me.

Just untie us.

Hold on,
I'm not quite done.

I realize now, though,
you'll never give up on me.

On good ol' Stan.

- Uch, take it off.
- Jee-zuss.

[ Moans ]
Get a bucket and a mop.

Whew!
Glad that's over.

Wait, is it over?

Hopefully Dr. Kalgary
can squeeze me in today.

Although,
I do like carrying around

this big 'ole
flappy face.

Stan.

Come on,
I'm kissing your ass.

Someone stop that apple.

Roger?

Whoa,
look at your face, dude.

What happened to you?

Hey.

That's a $4 apple.

What am I doing?
I'll just go buy another one.

Bye! Have a beautiful time!

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