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1
00:00:05,557 --> 00:00:07,455
[HUMMING]
2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,011
Oops.
3
00:00:36,277 --> 00:00:40,592
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
4
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:43,457
♪ And tell me who
can stop my heart
5
00:00:43,595 --> 00:00:45,183
♪ As much as you
6
00:00:45,321 --> 00:00:47,254
♪ Let's take
each other's hand
7
00:00:47,392 --> 00:00:50,464
♪ And jump into
the final frontier ♪
8
00:00:59,162 --> 00:01:01,199
PAUL: Okay, Mabel,
let me ask you.
9
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:03,235
She's your mother,
so you know her.
10
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:06,100
Which do you think
she would rather have
for Mother's Day?
11
00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:10,518
Choice A,
a lovely scarf. See?
12
00:01:10,656 --> 00:01:12,831
That she can wear
about the neck,
13
00:01:12,969 --> 00:01:14,867
and when she gets older,
about the head.
14
00:01:17,974 --> 00:01:19,009
All right, sure.
15
00:01:19,148 --> 00:01:21,253
Or potential
gift number two,
16
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:23,290
nut clusters.
17
00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:26,810
Okay.
18
00:01:26,948 --> 00:01:27,915
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
You know what?
19
00:01:28,053 --> 00:01:30,607
You're really not
helping much here.
20
00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,092
And need I remind you
21
00:01:32,230 --> 00:01:33,748
that both our names
are gonna be on this gift,
22
00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,785
so you might wanna shape up,
my little honey.
23
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:37,925
Yeah.
24
00:01:38,063 --> 00:01:39,651
Hey, Paulie,
James home?
25
00:01:39,789 --> 00:01:41,756
Uh... No. She and Fran
went to Nike town.
26
00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:43,793
Great.
Marvin, bring it in.
27
00:01:44,311 --> 00:01:45,243
Bring what in?
28
00:01:45,381 --> 00:01:47,037
It's my Mother's Day gift
for James.
29
00:01:47,176 --> 00:01:49,454
I brought it today
because I'm working
on Sunday.
30
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:50,800
A rocking chair?
31
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:51,904
Yes.
32
00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:52,974
That's
a great present.
33
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,666
I know. She can sit,
she can rock.
34
00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:56,046
Oh, look at this.
35
00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:57,358
She can hold Mabel,
36
00:01:57,496 --> 00:01:59,188
she can rock her
to sleep, and she
can sing to her.
37
00:01:59,326 --> 00:02:00,361
She could sing.
Of course.
38
00:02:00,499 --> 00:02:02,260
Old MacDonald,
farmer in the dell,
39
00:02:02,398 --> 00:02:03,882
do you know
the muffin man?
40
00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:06,643
I get it. All songs
would work with the chair.
This is...
41
00:02:06,781 --> 00:02:08,197
This is a great present.
42
00:02:08,335 --> 00:02:09,439
Well, thank you.
43
00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,165
You know what this means,
don't you?
What?
44
00:02:11,303 --> 00:02:13,271
My wife is getting a better
Mother's Day present from you
45
00:02:13,409 --> 00:02:14,444
than she is from me.
46
00:02:14,582 --> 00:02:15,790
Why? What are you
giving her?
47
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:17,067
Ah, nut clusters.
48
00:02:18,759 --> 00:02:19,691
Nut clusters?
49
00:02:19,829 --> 00:02:20,795
Or a scarf.
50
00:02:21,313 --> 00:02:22,245
Anything else?
51
00:02:22,383 --> 00:02:23,833
Maybe nut clusters
and a scarf.
52
00:02:24,558 --> 00:02:26,249
[LAUGHS]
I know what you do.
53
00:02:26,387 --> 00:02:27,802
You're keeping
the standards low.
54
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,908
That way, next year,
Mother's Day
rolls around,
55
00:02:30,046 --> 00:02:31,289
and you get her
like a pizza
or something,
56
00:02:31,427 --> 00:02:32,807
you're a big star.
57
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,464
Okay, here's
what's gonna happen.
58
00:02:34,602 --> 00:02:35,914
I'm giving her
the rocking chair.
59
00:02:37,674 --> 00:02:38,641
What's the matter
with you?
60
00:02:38,779 --> 00:02:40,298
Please? Let me give her
the rocking chair.
61
00:02:40,436 --> 00:02:42,058
It's such a great present.
62
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:43,266
Paulie, come on.
Please?
63
00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:44,716
Listen, I'll give her
the rocking chair,
64
00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:46,200
you can give her
the scarf,
65
00:02:46,338 --> 00:02:47,305
and then you keep
the nut clusters
for yourself.
66
00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:48,375
I know how much
you like them,
67
00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:49,790
and everybody
walks away happy.
68
00:02:49,928 --> 00:02:52,310
You would do that.
You would steal
my thunder like that.
69
00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:53,552
Yeah.
70
00:02:54,277 --> 00:02:55,485
That hurts, Paulie.
71
00:02:55,623 --> 00:02:57,763
Oh, come on.
She's my wife,
72
00:02:57,901 --> 00:02:58,971
and I've been
wracking my brains.
73
00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:00,835
I'm totally
out of ideas now.
74
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,182
Oh, Paul...
75
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,494
Ye of little imagination.
76
00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:05,564
What's that?
77
00:03:05,702 --> 00:03:07,566
Mother's Day offers
the imaginative man
78
00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:09,016
a wealth
of possibilities.
79
00:03:09,154 --> 00:03:10,328
Listen to him,
Paulie.
80
00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:11,398
When it comes
to Mother's Day,
81
00:03:11,536 --> 00:03:12,571
Marvin
is the champ.
82
00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:13,986
All right, champ.
83
00:03:14,124 --> 00:03:15,574
I'm serious. Tell him what
you're doing for your mom.
84
00:03:15,712 --> 00:03:17,818
You know those
giant video screens
in Times Square,
85
00:03:17,956 --> 00:03:19,026
about a block high?
86
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:20,096
It's amazing.
87
00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:21,339
I'm having
a Mother's Day message
88
00:03:21,477 --> 00:03:22,857
displayed for her there.
89
00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,515
It'll be dazzling
and special,
90
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:27,862
and she'll love it.
91
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,693
Okay. I'm giving Jamie
the video screen message.
92
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,212
No way!
Yes, I am.
93
00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:33,351
Come on, come on.
I'll give you
the rocking chair,
94
00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:34,593
you can give it
to your mother.
95
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:35,870
You give Jamie
the scarf,
96
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,078
and then you guys
split the nut clusters,
97
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,321
and everybody
walks away happy.
98
00:03:38,459 --> 00:03:40,289
Wait a minute.
I don't even like
nut clusters.
99
00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:42,498
I'll eat the nut clusters, all
right? I'll eat the nut clusters
and I'll return the scarf.
100
00:03:42,636 --> 00:03:44,776
We'll both have
a little message up on
the Times Square board.
101
00:03:44,914 --> 00:03:46,191
You can give Jamie
the rocking chair,
like you wanted.
102
00:03:46,329 --> 00:03:47,261
Everybody walks away
happy.
103
00:03:47,399 --> 00:03:48,952
Not everybody.
Yeah, but I do.
104
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:54,510
PAUL: All right,
what do you think
of this?
105
00:03:54,648 --> 00:03:57,582
"To Jamie,
you're some kind of mom."
106
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:59,031
Will she like that?
107
00:03:59,169 --> 00:04:00,136
Or you think,
like, maybe
she'll be wondering,
108
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:01,896
you know?
"Okay, I'm some
kind of mom,
109
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,829
but maybe he doesn't
know what kind."
110
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:05,659
I can't imagine anybody
taking it that way.
111
00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:06,798
What do you think,
Marvin?
112
00:04:06,936 --> 00:04:08,040
You stole my idea.
113
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:10,733
Don't be like that, Marvin.
114
00:04:11,630 --> 00:04:13,114
Why don't you have
some joy in your heart
115
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,840
that you reached out,
and you helped your brother?
116
00:04:14,978 --> 00:04:16,635
Drop dead.
If you can.
117
00:04:16,773 --> 00:04:19,259
"You're some kind
of mom"?
118
00:04:19,397 --> 00:04:20,777
Did a light bulb
appear above your head
119
00:04:20,915 --> 00:04:22,883
before you thought
of that one?
120
00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:24,816
What are you putting
up there, big shot?
121
00:04:24,954 --> 00:04:26,576
Oh, wouldn't you
like to know?
122
00:04:26,714 --> 00:04:29,027
Well, if you're
gonna mock me,
I'd like to see.
123
00:04:29,165 --> 00:04:30,235
Okay.
124
00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:31,823
Just so you know
what true artistry is.
125
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,032
Look at this.
126
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:35,758
MAN: Next, please.
127
00:04:35,896 --> 00:04:39,279
"Is there anything purer
than your sweet love
128
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:41,488
in Earth beneath
or sky above?"
129
00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:43,524
What?
No, nothing.
130
00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:45,008
It's a little schmaltzy,
you know?
131
00:04:45,940 --> 00:04:46,907
No.
132
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:48,633
Hey, hey, hey,
easy, easy.
133
00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,462
Okay.
That's all I need
is this criticism
134
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,464
from the author
of "you're
some kind of mom."
135
00:04:52,602 --> 00:04:54,190
All right, Marvin.
136
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,916
What else have you
written, Paul?
137
00:04:56,054 --> 00:04:57,435
"Get well soon"?
138
00:04:57,573 --> 00:04:58,919
Just keep reading.
Now, what you got?
139
00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:01,439
"No sunset has your warmth.
140
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:03,268
No ocean
has your depth.
141
00:05:03,406 --> 00:05:05,512
You hold me
when I ache.
142
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:07,893
You stroke me
when I wepth."
143
00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:11,828
What?
144
00:05:13,451 --> 00:05:14,417
"Wepth"?
145
00:05:15,591 --> 00:05:16,557
What about it?
146
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:18,870
Nothing.
147
00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:21,804
"Always thinking
of your milky skin."
148
00:05:21,942 --> 00:05:23,495
Hmm.
149
00:05:23,633 --> 00:05:25,497
"Your raspy
little laugh,
150
00:05:25,635 --> 00:05:28,328
the time we talked
till dawn."
151
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,537
This is your actual
biological mother?
152
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:32,677
Read the ending.
153
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:35,887
Oh. "Oh, so sweet,
so coy, so sassy.
154
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:38,993
I'll always love you,
my beautiful Cassie."
155
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,065
Cassie's...
My mother.
156
00:05:42,203 --> 00:05:43,998
Of course she is. Okay.
All right, all right.
157
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:46,346
And then after
they show the message,
158
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:48,624
I'm gonna
have them scan in
a picture of her.
159
00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:50,211
I'm gonna do that.
That's a great idea, Marvin.
160
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,661
Thank you for that idea.
161
00:05:51,799 --> 00:05:52,973
MAN: Next, please.
162
00:05:53,594 --> 00:05:54,733
Hi. How are you?
163
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,666
Here's what I've
come up with so far.
164
00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:59,462
Is to my wife.
"To Jamie, you're
some kind of mom."
165
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,050
What do you think
of that?
166
00:06:01,188 --> 00:06:02,810
"You're some kind
of mom." Is that good?
You like that?
167
00:06:02,948 --> 00:06:04,605
It's the best one
we've ever had.
168
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:14,166
Wow. Isn't this lovely?
169
00:06:14,304 --> 00:06:15,927
Wait till you hear what
I'm doing for Jamie.
What?
170
00:06:16,065 --> 00:06:19,517
At exactly 7:37,
I'm gonna take her up
to the Marriot Marquis,
171
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,277
and we're gonna look
out the window,
172
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,452
and she's gonna see
this huge and gigantic
Mother's Day greeting
173
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,489
That I wrote up on
the Times Square screen.
174
00:06:26,627 --> 00:06:29,389
Wow. You are really
pulling out all the stops.
175
00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:32,046
And I should know
because I'm still using
176
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:34,290
The bath powder
you gave me last year.
177
00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:38,501
Ma, you know, don't you?
178
00:06:38,639 --> 00:06:40,434
There's a big surprise
for you, too.
179
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:43,264
Me? I don't need a fuss.
I've had 'em.
180
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,508
I'm ashamed to tell you
how many Mother's Days.
181
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,166
What kind
of surprise?
182
00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:49,236
What's that?
183
00:06:49,374 --> 00:06:50,410
What kind of surprise?
184
00:06:51,238 --> 00:06:52,170
A present.
185
00:06:52,308 --> 00:06:54,517
Big, very thoughtful
present.
186
00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:57,209
And a card. A card
and present together
with the card. One second.
187
00:06:57,934 --> 00:06:58,866
Okay, I got
a big problem.
188
00:06:59,004 --> 00:06:59,902
I forgot to get mom
a present.
189
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,662
Oh, Paul.
190
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,560
I was so busy
with the Jamie stuff,
I totally slipped my mind.
191
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,078
Did you get her
anything?
192
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,494
Yeah.
Make it
from both of us.
193
00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:07,047
No.
Oh, come on.
Why not?
194
00:07:07,185 --> 00:07:08,151
Because it's not
the kind of thing--
195
00:07:08,289 --> 00:07:09,221
Oh, Debbie,
please, please?
196
00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:10,982
Debbie please what?
197
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,019
Okay. Uh, Ma,
you remember last week
198
00:07:14,157 --> 00:07:16,021
when I took you to see The Scarlet Pimpernel?
199
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,920
Yeah.
Yeah, well,
that was from Paul, too.
200
00:07:24,202 --> 00:07:25,203
Told ya.
201
00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:28,689
I'm sorry, Ma.
It's just--
202
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:30,933
In my myopia,
I forgot.
203
00:07:31,071 --> 00:07:32,106
Fine.
204
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:33,453
In my myopia,
I'm saying.
205
00:07:33,591 --> 00:07:35,316
Paul, please,
it's nothing.
206
00:07:36,490 --> 00:07:38,354
Really?
Nothing.
207
00:07:39,217 --> 00:07:41,115
She says it's nothing,
but in fact...
208
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:42,151
Yeah.
It's something.
209
00:07:42,289 --> 00:07:43,670
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
210
00:07:43,808 --> 00:07:45,948
Now, hold the calendar
a little higher.
211
00:07:46,086 --> 00:07:47,018
Point to the date.
212
00:07:48,053 --> 00:07:49,676
What's the matter
with this damn thing?
213
00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:51,954
Oh, Burt, are you okay?
214
00:07:52,092 --> 00:07:53,611
Hey, how are you?
Jamie Buchman?
215
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:54,991
Uh, no, but--
216
00:07:55,129 --> 00:07:56,027
I don't care
who you are.
217
00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:57,131
Just sign here.
218
00:07:57,856 --> 00:07:59,513
Okay.
Here you go.
219
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:00,756
"Klondike Pete"?
220
00:08:00,894 --> 00:08:02,309
Yeah, well, you don't care
who I am. There you go.
221
00:08:04,863 --> 00:08:07,383
More flowers for you.
Oh! From Mark and Fran.
222
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:08,453
Oh, how sweet.
223
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:09,523
Isn't that nice?
I'll put this
224
00:08:09,661 --> 00:08:11,836
with the other
743,000 flowers.
225
00:08:11,974 --> 00:08:13,976
Oh, how nice.
Ma...
226
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:15,805
I'm saying, "how nice."
227
00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:19,153
Okay, I think we should
open some presents.
228
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,707
There's a good idea,
opening gifts.
229
00:08:20,845 --> 00:08:24,158
Oh, what a lovely looking
rocking chair.
230
00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,402
Good idea.
We'll start with
something big.
231
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,025
No. I think there may be
something here for you, Deb.
232
00:08:29,163 --> 00:08:32,926
Oh, from Ira. "With love
to my favorite mother
Jamie."
233
00:08:33,961 --> 00:08:35,238
Oh, my God!
234
00:08:35,376 --> 00:08:37,620
[MOCKING]
Oh, my God.
235
00:08:48,182 --> 00:08:49,114
Cake?
Yeah, cake.
236
00:08:49,252 --> 00:08:50,840
Cake!
That's a good idea.
237
00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:52,532
Come on in
and have some
of Jamie's cake.
238
00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,085
Cake for all the mothers.
239
00:08:54,223 --> 00:08:55,396
Later for me.
240
00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:03,784
[GOOFY MUSIC PLAYING]
241
00:09:24,184 --> 00:09:25,323
Help me!
242
00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:27,359
Ma? Oh, my God!
243
00:09:27,497 --> 00:09:28,706
Sylvia!
Are you okay?
244
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:30,121
I've broken a leg.
245
00:09:30,259 --> 00:09:31,225
Are you sure?
246
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,675
Oh, it's definitely broken.
247
00:09:32,813 --> 00:09:34,643
All right, Sylvia.
Don't move. I'm gonna
call an ambulance.
248
00:09:34,781 --> 00:09:36,990
Oh, no, no,
please, dear.
249
00:09:37,128 --> 00:09:38,474
Finish your cake,
250
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,580
then we'll
worry about me.
251
00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:49,002
DEBBIE:
How do you feel, Ma?
252
00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:50,486
I'm fine, thank you.
253
00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:51,970
Don't be so concerned.
254
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:53,006
It's only a limb.
255
00:09:53,144 --> 00:09:54,145
Oh, Ma.
256
00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:57,976
You know
what's really killing me?
257
00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,150
The cling.
258
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,220
The what?
259
00:10:00,358 --> 00:10:01,566
The static cling.
260
00:10:01,704 --> 00:10:04,017
My pants are clinging
to the sheets,
261
00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:05,570
it's driving me crazy.
262
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:08,055
God bless you,
Sylvia,
263
00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:10,333
worrying about
static cling at
a time like this.
264
00:10:10,471 --> 00:10:12,128
Do me a favor.
Get me the static guard.
265
00:10:12,266 --> 00:10:13,509
It's in my purse.
Thank you.
266
00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:14,614
Sure, Ma.
267
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:16,167
You poor thing.
268
00:10:16,305 --> 00:10:18,410
I feel so terrible
that this happened.
269
00:10:18,548 --> 00:10:21,621
All I can say is
better me than you.
270
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,588
Found the doctor.
271
00:10:23,726 --> 00:10:25,866
Mrs. Buchman,
hi, I'm Dr. Hill.
272
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:27,454
Doctor,
thank goodness.
273
00:10:27,592 --> 00:10:28,800
Let's take a look,
shall we?
274
00:10:28,938 --> 00:10:29,974
Yes.
275
00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,113
[SCREAMS]
276
00:10:32,355 --> 00:10:33,322
Mrs. Buchman--
277
00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:34,357
You do what
you have to do.
278
00:10:34,495 --> 00:10:35,427
Okay.
279
00:10:35,565 --> 00:10:36,497
Ow.
280
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,534
Oh, boy, Mom's got
some grip, huh?
281
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,156
How would you
describe the pain?
282
00:10:40,294 --> 00:10:41,571
Like a squeezing
sensation.
283
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:44,747
I can't even
feel the pinky.
It's so.
284
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:46,369
Your mom's pain.
285
00:10:46,507 --> 00:10:47,957
Of course, of course.
286
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:50,753
It's unrelenting
and severe.
287
00:10:50,891 --> 00:10:52,790
Oh, my little
fragile dove.
288
00:10:53,342 --> 00:10:54,274
Ah! Ohh!
289
00:10:54,412 --> 00:10:55,344
Bad there?
290
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:57,242
Oh, my God.
291
00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,589
You go ahead.
Do what you have to do.
292
00:10:59,728 --> 00:11:01,661
You're a very brave woman,
Mrs. Buchman.
293
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:03,455
I know.
294
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:06,113
All right.
I wanna send you over
for a couple of X-rays,
295
00:11:06,251 --> 00:11:07,149
just in case.
296
00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:08,460
Oh, my God.
297
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:10,117
Why don't you all
meet her back here
298
00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:11,153
in about 25 minutes?
299
00:11:11,291 --> 00:11:12,223
Okay, okay.
300
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,465
Bye, Ma.
We love you.
301
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:14,743
We'll see you shortly,
sweetheart.
302
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:15,847
Courage, Sylvia.
303
00:11:17,538 --> 00:11:19,713
Best mom in the world,
that's what you are.
304
00:11:19,851 --> 00:11:22,060
I'd wave,
except for the pain.
305
00:11:23,165 --> 00:11:24,511
Those darn Amish.
306
00:11:24,822 --> 00:11:25,995
Amish?
307
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:27,514
Well, they invented
the rocking chair,
didn't they?
308
00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:28,860
I don't think
it was them.
309
00:11:28,998 --> 00:11:30,241
I forgot my coat.
I'll meet you down there.
310
00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:32,277
They invented
the shoehorn
years ago.
311
00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:44,738
Hi, Sylvia.
312
00:11:46,464 --> 00:11:48,224
I was, uh...
You know...
313
00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:51,089
I was just
testing it out.
314
00:11:51,227 --> 00:11:52,194
How'd that go for you?
315
00:11:53,298 --> 00:11:55,576
Oh, fine. It's fine.
316
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,854
Responded well,
the leg?
317
00:11:56,992 --> 00:11:58,959
Surprisingly well, yes.
318
00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:01,065
Sylvia, you didn't actually
hurt your leg, did you?
319
00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:03,412
Sure, I did.
Sylvia.
320
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,553
Well, for your information,
even as we speak,
321
00:12:06,691 --> 00:12:11,282
I'm in the midst
of wave upon wave
of searing pain.
322
00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:12,628
Sylvia.
323
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,700
I mean,
walk a mile in my shoes
before you judge.
324
00:12:15,838 --> 00:12:17,771
Not that you could,
in my condition.
325
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:20,636
Sylvia.
326
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:23,604
All right.
I didn't hurt my leg.
327
00:12:24,847 --> 00:12:27,850
I mean, you have one baby,
and suddenly I'm nothing.
328
00:12:27,988 --> 00:12:28,920
What?
329
00:12:29,058 --> 00:12:30,197
I mean, it's not
that I begrudge you
330
00:12:30,335 --> 00:12:32,303
the outpouring of love
from your family.
331
00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:33,442
No, of course not.
332
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,168
Except when it comes
at my expense.
333
00:12:36,065 --> 00:12:37,032
I understand.
334
00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:38,965
I'm so ashamed.
335
00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:40,345
Oh, no.
Sylvia, don't be.
336
00:12:40,483 --> 00:12:41,691
No, I'm ashamed.
No, don't be.
337
00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:43,245
I'm telling you
I'm ashamed!
338
00:12:43,383 --> 00:12:45,005
Then be ashamed,
be ashamed.
339
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:47,111
For God's sakes,
someone says
they're ashamed,
340
00:12:47,249 --> 00:12:49,147
let them be ashamed.
341
00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:54,912
I shudder to think of
the weakness of character
that I have shown.
342
00:12:55,636 --> 00:12:56,568
Sylvia.
343
00:12:56,706 --> 00:12:57,777
You won't tell anyone,
will you?
344
00:12:57,915 --> 00:12:58,847
No. Of course not.
345
00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:00,676
Because I would die
of the humiliation.
346
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:01,884
I won't tell them.
347
00:13:02,022 --> 00:13:03,748
They'll take the x-rays,
they'll be negative,
348
00:13:03,886 --> 00:13:05,888
I'll limp around a little,
I'll get a little better,
349
00:13:06,026 --> 00:13:08,270
and then it'll be like
our little secret.
350
00:13:08,408 --> 00:13:09,409
I promise.
351
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:11,860
Thank you.
352
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:12,930
You're welcome.
353
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:14,794
You're a good girl.
354
00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:17,382
Thank you.
355
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,143
Maybe I should've
given you...
356
00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:21,801
A fairer shake
all these years.
357
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,768
Why, Sylvia--
358
00:13:23,906 --> 00:13:25,425
Yeah, yeah, right.
What's done is done.
359
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,512
Boss.
360
00:13:43,650 --> 00:13:45,134
Marvin, what are you
doing here?
361
00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:47,240
It's only
half an hour until your
Times Square message.
362
00:13:47,378 --> 00:13:48,862
Cassie and I
just had a fight.
363
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,450
Cassie?
My mother.
364
00:13:50,899 --> 00:13:52,003
Oh, yeah.
365
00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:53,522
A fight? About what?
366
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:55,800
She got real flirty
with the taxi driver.
367
00:13:55,938 --> 00:13:57,215
I hate
when she does that.
368
00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:59,079
Oh.
And I told her so.
369
00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:00,943
I said, "how do you think
that makes me feel?"
370
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:02,393
One thing led to another.
371
00:14:02,531 --> 00:14:04,222
She said she didn't
need this crap.
372
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,742
She got out of the cab
and rushed home.
373
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:08,088
Wow.
374
00:14:08,226 --> 00:14:09,193
Women.
375
00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:10,953
Yeah, yeah.
376
00:14:11,091 --> 00:14:12,023
They just don't get it.
377
00:14:12,161 --> 00:14:14,129
No. You know what?
They really don't.
378
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,821
But it hurts so much.
379
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:19,513
Hey, Marvin,
we've all been
there, you know?
380
00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:20,652
Well, sort of.
381
00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:24,277
Hey, boss,
will you do me a favor?
382
00:14:24,415 --> 00:14:25,312
Will you talk to her?
383
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,589
What, me?
384
00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:29,385
Yeah. Just tell her
how bad I feel,
385
00:14:29,523 --> 00:14:31,077
and how much
I love her.
386
00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,906
Ask her if she'll
ever see me again.
387
00:14:33,044 --> 00:14:35,391
Marvin,
I don't wanna meddle
in family business.
388
00:14:35,529 --> 00:14:37,877
But I feel so empty
without her.
389
00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:41,363
The air's a dusty gray,
390
00:14:41,501 --> 00:14:43,744
food has no taste,
391
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:47,507
and sleep is
just a shallow,
sarcastic illusion.
392
00:14:47,645 --> 00:14:49,267
You haven't even
been to sleep yet.
393
00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:50,441
I'm predicting.
394
00:14:50,579 --> 00:14:53,547
Marvin, I will go,
I will talk to her.
395
00:14:53,685 --> 00:14:55,032
You take care of this,
okay?
396
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,274
I will.
Okay.
397
00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:57,379
Thank you.
398
00:14:58,449 --> 00:15:00,140
And tell Cassie
that I love her.
399
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:01,210
Cassie?
400
00:15:01,348 --> 00:15:02,453
My mother.
401
00:15:09,287 --> 00:15:10,254
Mom?
402
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:11,911
Hi. Oh...
403
00:15:12,049 --> 00:15:14,810
All you people,
you walk so quietly.
404
00:15:16,018 --> 00:15:18,193
Wow. Somebody seems to be
feeling a little better.
405
00:15:18,331 --> 00:15:20,436
Ohh... I only wish.
406
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:23,923
The X-ray girl noticed
that my polish was chipping,
407
00:15:24,061 --> 00:15:25,234
so I fought
through the pain.
408
00:15:25,372 --> 00:15:26,753
Oh.
409
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:28,824
You fought through
the pain to polish
your toenails?
410
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,688
What? When a woman's
in pain,
411
00:15:30,826 --> 00:15:31,965
she needs
to feel pretty.
412
00:15:32,379 --> 00:15:34,485
Yes.
413
00:15:34,623 --> 00:15:36,694
Sylvia, doesn't
it hurt your leg
to bend it like that?
414
00:15:36,832 --> 00:15:39,283
Well, I'm
obviously in shock.
415
00:15:39,421 --> 00:15:40,940
Wait a minute,
wait a minute, Ma.
416
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:42,734
Wasn't it the other leg
that you hurt?
417
00:15:42,872 --> 00:15:45,634
Deb, I'm sure Sylvia knows
which leg she hurt.
418
00:15:45,772 --> 00:15:48,948
No, she's right because
when we found you,
419
00:15:49,086 --> 00:15:50,397
you were
on your right side.
420
00:15:50,535 --> 00:15:51,916
Remember, you fell on
your right side,
421
00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:52,952
which means
you would've broken
the right leg.
422
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,091
You don't know that.
423
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,299
How else would that
have happened?
424
00:15:55,437 --> 00:15:56,403
Maybe she bounced.
425
00:15:59,579 --> 00:16:01,270
She bounced
from the left side
over to her right side.
426
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:02,720
Maybe.
427
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:04,101
You know, when
you come to think of it,
428
00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:06,551
how did you catapult
out of that chair anyway, mom?
429
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,725
Well, I--
Debbie...
430
00:16:07,863 --> 00:16:11,522
Clearly she lost control
of the chair.
431
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:12,730
Lost control?
432
00:16:12,868 --> 00:16:14,594
What is it,
a Lamborghini now?
433
00:16:16,251 --> 00:16:18,184
She lost control
of the chair.
434
00:16:18,322 --> 00:16:21,981
She was rocking excitedly,
and she lost control.
435
00:16:22,119 --> 00:16:24,362
She catapulted herself
out of the chair,
436
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,226
and onto the floor,
437
00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:29,229
landing on and severely
injuring her left leg,
438
00:16:29,367 --> 00:16:31,921
whereupon
she apparently bounced,
439
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,994
coming to land
on her right side.
440
00:16:35,615 --> 00:16:36,892
Is that right,
Sylvia?
441
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,273
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
uh-huh.
442
00:16:38,859 --> 00:16:39,964
See?
Yeah.
443
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,071
What?
444
00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:45,211
Nothing. I just find it
hard to believe
445
00:16:45,349 --> 00:16:47,523
that my mother would
just bounce over
like that.
446
00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:51,148
My God, my God, my God.
What are you saying?
447
00:16:51,286 --> 00:16:53,667
Are you saying that
she faked an injury?
448
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,462
And why? Just
to get attention?
449
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,532
Is that what
you're saying?
450
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:57,602
No, of course not.
451
00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:59,156
Then come on,
apologize to your mother.
452
00:16:59,294 --> 00:17:00,226
No. We weren't
saying anything.
Jamie, I--
453
00:17:00,364 --> 00:17:02,780
You both apologize
to your mother.
454
00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:04,506
I'm sorry.
Sorry, Mom.
455
00:17:04,644 --> 00:17:06,266
No, really, we were
very thoughtless.
456
00:17:06,404 --> 00:17:07,819
Thoughtless,
thoughtless,
thoughtless.
457
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,408
Thank you. Jeez.
458
00:17:10,546 --> 00:17:12,410
I can only hope
that my children
have more respect
459
00:17:12,548 --> 00:17:14,033
if I ever injured myself
on Mother's Day--
460
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,344
Jamie...
Yeah?
461
00:17:18,313 --> 00:17:20,487
I think I made my point.
462
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:24,284
Well, Mrs. Buchman,
your fibula and tibia
are integrated,
463
00:17:24,422 --> 00:17:25,872
longitudinally aligned,
464
00:17:26,010 --> 00:17:28,426
and still articulating
in concert with your femur.
465
00:17:28,564 --> 00:17:29,496
What?
466
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:30,704
You're fine.
467
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,430
Isn't that nice?
468
00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:36,296
But considering the pain
that you are clearly in,
469
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:37,573
something
is probably amiss,
470
00:17:37,711 --> 00:17:39,299
and we really should
immobilize the leg.
471
00:17:39,886 --> 00:17:41,094
Immobilize?
472
00:17:41,232 --> 00:17:43,510
The cast should stay on
for six to eight weeks,
473
00:17:43,648 --> 00:17:45,271
and then we'll
take it from there,
all right?
474
00:17:45,719 --> 00:17:46,686
Good.
475
00:17:47,307 --> 00:17:48,688
A cast? Really?
476
00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:50,690
This is the price
you pay
477
00:17:50,828 --> 00:17:52,968
when you take
a horrible spill.
478
00:17:55,522 --> 00:17:56,489
Okay.
479
00:17:56,627 --> 00:17:57,697
In a moment,
someone will be in
480
00:17:57,835 --> 00:17:59,008
to wheel you
up to orthopedics.
481
00:17:59,147 --> 00:18:00,286
Why don't you guys
meet her up there?
482
00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:01,356
Okay.
483
00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:02,495
Great, fine.
Okay, good.
484
00:18:02,633 --> 00:18:04,013
Hold tight, buttercup.
485
00:18:05,222 --> 00:18:06,188
See ya.
486
00:18:07,224 --> 00:18:08,466
What a good Ma.
487
00:18:09,364 --> 00:18:10,330
All right.
488
00:18:14,438 --> 00:18:18,097
I can't believe that
I accused my own mother
of faking an injury.
489
00:18:18,235 --> 00:18:19,650
I know, sweetie.
We've all had a tough day.
490
00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:21,686
And on Mother's Day,
I-- Ohh!!
491
00:18:21,824 --> 00:18:22,998
What?
492
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,896
Now we're gonna miss
your Mother's Day
surprise.
493
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:25,966
Why?
494
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:27,830
Because
it's across town,
495
00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:29,315
and we gotta be there
in just a minute.
496
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:30,833
Can't we make it
if we hurry?
497
00:18:30,971 --> 00:18:33,112
Maybe, but don't you think
we should be here for mom?
498
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,355
I think we can go.
499
00:18:39,842 --> 00:18:40,774
[DOOR OPENS]
500
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:41,844
Did you talk to her?
501
00:18:41,982 --> 00:18:43,225
Yes, Marvin, I did.
502
00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:44,295
And?
503
00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:46,435
And she is
a very lovely lady.
504
00:18:46,573 --> 00:18:47,505
And?
Really lovely.
505
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,783
And I must say,
attractive and youthful.
506
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:50,853
And?
507
00:18:50,991 --> 00:18:52,510
And I told her
what you said.
508
00:18:52,924 --> 00:18:53,856
And?
509
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:55,306
And she forgives you.
510
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:56,687
Really?
Yes.
511
00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:58,378
Wow.
512
00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,104
Thank you, boss,
thank you.
513
00:19:00,242 --> 00:19:01,381
No problem.
Thank you so much.
514
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:02,796
Listen, do me a favor,
will you, if you don't mind?
515
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:05,316
Stick around till closing
and lock up for me.
516
00:19:05,454 --> 00:19:06,386
Why?
517
00:19:06,524 --> 00:19:08,112
Nothing.
I got a little date.
518
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:11,736
With who, Cheryl?
519
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:13,152
Uh... No.
520
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:14,601
Molly.
521
00:19:14,739 --> 00:19:15,809
Uh, no.
522
00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:16,948
Rebecca?
523
00:19:17,432 --> 00:19:18,364
No.
524
00:19:19,261 --> 00:19:20,228
Sarah?
525
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:21,815
No.
526
00:19:23,023 --> 00:19:24,508
Oh, God.
Marvin.
527
00:19:25,509 --> 00:19:27,096
You're going on a date
with my mother.
528
00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:28,857
It is not a date.
529
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:30,755
Where you taking her?
530
00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:32,343
Actually, we were
thinking of staying in.
531
00:19:32,481 --> 00:19:33,517
Baaaa!
532
00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:42,905
What it is,
it's just the tallest,
533
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:44,873
most elaborate
Mother's Day card ever.
534
00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:45,977
Oops. Sorry.
535
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:47,634
Just hope
we didn't miss it.
536
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:50,982
Oh...
537
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,777
Maybe it's after
this lame one.
538
00:19:54,331 --> 00:19:56,056
"You're some kind of mom."
539
00:19:56,816 --> 00:19:57,920
Bet a light bulb
really went off
540
00:19:58,058 --> 00:19:59,059
over that guy's head.
541
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:01,993
Yeah.
542
00:20:02,131 --> 00:20:03,581
That is lame, huh?
543
00:20:03,719 --> 00:20:05,445
It's not even clear.
What is that?
544
00:20:05,583 --> 00:20:06,722
"Some kind of mom"?
545
00:20:06,860 --> 00:20:08,276
What kind of mom
is she, guy?
546
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:10,830
I don't know if anybody
would be thinking that.
547
00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:13,108
Well... Whatever.
548
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,213
So I guess
we missed it.
549
00:20:14,351 --> 00:20:15,490
Oh, honey!
What?
550
00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:19,148
"Is there anything purer
than your sweet love
551
00:20:19,287 --> 00:20:22,669
in Earth beneath
or sky above?
552
00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:25,189
No sunset
has your warmth.
553
00:20:25,879 --> 00:20:27,743
No ocean has your depth.
554
00:20:27,881 --> 00:20:30,263
You hold me when I ache.
555
00:20:30,401 --> 00:20:33,404
You stroke me
when I wepth."
556
00:20:36,165 --> 00:20:38,029
Honey, is that
your message to me?
557
00:20:40,204 --> 00:20:41,205
Yes, it is.
558
00:20:53,976 --> 00:20:55,254
You really know me.
559
00:20:56,910 --> 00:20:58,257
If not me, then who?
560
00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:24,352
And then she told me that
she never really loved me.
561
00:21:25,905 --> 00:21:27,734
And then she held me
one more time,
562
00:21:28,977 --> 00:21:31,220
and then she opened the door,
and she just left.
563
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:32,877
[SOBBING]
564
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,156
She just walked
right out of my life,
565
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,331
and she's never
coming back again.
566
00:21:40,402 --> 00:21:43,785
And I'm never ever gonna
see your mother ever again.
567
00:21:45,959 --> 00:21:47,340
I-I'm sorry, boss.
568
00:21:47,961 --> 00:21:49,169
I really am.
569
00:21:50,585 --> 00:21:51,551
So...
570
00:21:51,689 --> 00:21:52,759
She's available.
571
00:22:39,254 --> 00:22:41,808
And then she told me that
she never really loved me.
572
00:22:43,154 --> 00:22:45,018
And then she held me
one more time,
573
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:48,643
and then she opened the door,
and she just left.
574
00:22:48,781 --> 00:22:50,127
[SOBBING]
575
00:22:51,231 --> 00:22:53,372
She just walked
right out of my life,
576
00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:55,581
and she's never
coming back again.
577
00:22:57,686 --> 00:23:01,207
And I'm never
ever gonna see
your mother ever again.
578
00:23:03,071 --> 00:23:04,728
I-I'm sorry,
boss.
579
00:23:05,349 --> 00:23:06,764
I really am.
580
00:23:08,007 --> 00:23:08,939
So...
581
00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:10,078
She's available.
39708
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