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1
00:00:07,421 --> 00:00:10,217
There's a nice
clean dog.
2
00:00:13,185 --> 00:00:15,360
This thing is great.
Tremendous suction.
3
00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:19,088
What are you doing?
4
00:00:19,226 --> 00:00:20,227
Just cleaning up Murray.
5
00:00:21,331 --> 00:00:22,677
With my breast pump?
6
00:00:25,887 --> 00:00:26,923
I'm gonna clean it.
7
00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:30,651
I'm just
doing his back.
8
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:33,792
It's fur.
9
00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:37,002
It was his idea.
10
00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:55,296
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
11
00:00:55,434 --> 00:00:58,092
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
12
00:00:58,230 --> 00:00:59,749
♪ As much as you
13
00:00:59,887 --> 00:01:03,580
♪ Tell me all your secrets and I'll tell you most of mine
14
00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,237
♪ They say nobody's perfect
15
00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:07,791
♪ Well, that's really true this time
16
00:01:07,929 --> 00:01:11,726
♪ I don't have the answers
I don't have a plan
17
00:01:11,864 --> 00:01:13,003
♪ All I have is you
18
00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:15,282
♪ So, darling
help me understand
19
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,386
♪ What we do
20
00:01:17,249 --> 00:01:19,217
♪ You can whisper in my ear
21
00:01:19,355 --> 00:01:20,942
♪ Where we go
22
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,393
♪ Who knows
what happens after here
23
00:01:23,531 --> 00:01:25,223
♪ Let's take
each other's hand
24
00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:28,433
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
25
00:01:29,641 --> 00:01:31,470
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
26
00:01:32,264 --> 00:01:33,403
♪ Yeah
27
00:01:34,577 --> 00:01:36,234
♪ I'm mad about you ♪
28
00:01:44,794 --> 00:01:47,314
Paul: Honey! Sarah
wants to know if
we have any cookies.
29
00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:49,005
Honey-- Whoo, hot
and moist on my face.
30
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,110
I know.
31
00:01:50,558 --> 00:01:51,525
Sorry.
32
00:01:51,663 --> 00:01:53,492
I'm cooking for my
mommy and me group.
33
00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:54,700
What are you
making, rubber?
34
00:01:55,253 --> 00:01:56,944
No. Mashed peas.
35
00:01:57,082 --> 00:01:58,532
That's good,
because regular peas
36
00:01:58,670 --> 00:01:59,843
Would be just
too appetizing.
37
00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:03,123
Honey, health. Healthy food
for the children. Health.
38
00:02:03,261 --> 00:02:04,331
Right.
What are you eating?
39
00:02:04,469 --> 00:02:05,435
Cocoa Puffs.
40
00:02:06,850 --> 00:02:08,369
[SNIFFING] Wow.
41
00:02:08,507 --> 00:02:09,888
What?
[SNIFFING]
42
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:13,167
I just never realized
that peas smelled
so much like monkeys.
43
00:02:14,272 --> 00:02:15,273
Don't make
fun of me.
44
00:02:15,411 --> 00:02:16,998
No, I'm not.
I'm really not.
45
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,310
I'm the one who got
Sarah involved in this
mommy and me group.
46
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:19,484
I'm trying
to sell it.
47
00:02:19,622 --> 00:02:21,589
I understand.
I admire you
for that effort.
48
00:02:21,727 --> 00:02:23,108
There is just nothin'
to eat, is there?
49
00:02:23,246 --> 00:02:24,592
Yes, and anytime
you want to food-shop,
50
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,042
don't think you'll be
hurting my feelings.
51
00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:29,666
Baby, is this,
is this you
or the powder.
52
00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:30,771
It's my
breast milk.
53
00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:32,462
What?
54
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:33,981
I really--
I do want to
taste this.
55
00:02:34,568 --> 00:02:36,017
So taste it.
56
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,019
Is that weird?
No, I think it's nice.
Taste it.
57
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,849
'Cause, you know,
it's you.
It is.
58
00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:42,265
This is your essence,
your life force.
That's true.
59
00:02:42,403 --> 00:02:43,611
This is
what nourishes
our daughter.
60
00:02:43,749 --> 00:02:44,716
Oh, honey,
please taste it.
61
00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:49,307
You know,
maybe later.
Okay.
62
00:02:49,445 --> 00:02:50,446
SARAH: Paul!
63
00:02:50,584 --> 00:02:51,688
Cookies!
64
00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:53,414
Not so much cookies.
How about some Cocoa Puffs?
65
00:02:53,552 --> 00:02:55,071
Great. And bring
sugar also.
66
00:02:57,004 --> 00:02:58,247
Sugar for
the Cocoa Puffs?
67
00:02:58,385 --> 00:02:59,351
Yeah.
68
00:02:59,489 --> 00:03:00,525
Okay.
69
00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:04,080
You know what, sweetie?
70
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,945
Little Claire may not
be such a fan of the,
uh, the mashed peas.
71
00:03:07,083 --> 00:03:08,326
Maybe some nice
mashed Twinkie.
72
00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:11,052
Here we go, here we go.
73
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,607
Some nice Cocoa Puffs.
74
00:03:13,745 --> 00:03:15,471
a little extra sugar,
and I'll, uh...
75
00:03:16,334 --> 00:03:17,369
I'll see ya
when you land.
76
00:03:20,614 --> 00:03:21,753
What are you
watching there?
77
00:03:21,891 --> 00:03:24,307
[WOMAN ON TELEVISION SINGING
CHILDREN'S SONG]
78
00:03:24,445 --> 00:03:25,481
Oh, well, then,
it must be good.
79
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,310
It's her favorite video.
80
00:03:27,448 --> 00:03:29,036
It's called
Teeny Tunes.
81
00:03:29,174 --> 00:03:30,624
She can't be reached
right now.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
82
00:03:30,762 --> 00:03:32,281
Wow. Who's that?
83
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:33,385
It's Ira!
84
00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:34,904
Hi, slinky.
Hey, Paulie.
85
00:03:35,042 --> 00:03:36,802
You know
Claire and Sarah.
86
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,666
Hi, Sarah.
Hi.
87
00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:40,012
Hello, Mabel.
88
00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:42,325
Guess what? Uncle Ira
brought you a present.
89
00:03:42,463 --> 00:03:43,740
Oh, look,
Mabel's saying,
90
00:03:43,878 --> 00:03:45,328
"What is it, Ira?
What is it?"
91
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:46,433
It's a watch!
92
00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:48,262
Mabel's first watch.
93
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,470
How great.
94
00:03:49,608 --> 00:03:51,334
And what
an appropriate
gift, too,
95
00:03:51,472 --> 00:03:54,061
'Cause, you know, at 1:35
she has an appointment
to spit up on herself.
96
00:03:55,511 --> 00:03:57,167
Mommy, I have to go
to the bathroom.
97
00:03:57,306 --> 00:03:58,583
Well, you know
where it is.
98
00:03:58,721 --> 00:04:00,205
I want you
to take me.
99
00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:03,277
[SIGHS]
Okay, but only
till you're 30.
100
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,831
Hey, is that--
101
00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:08,040
Is that that Teeny Tunesvideo?
102
00:04:08,178 --> 00:04:09,525
What, you know
about this?
103
00:04:09,663 --> 00:04:11,389
Yeah, it's like
the hottest
kids' tape around.
104
00:04:11,527 --> 00:04:13,805
It's unbelievable.
It's a woman
in a housecoat,
105
00:04:13,943 --> 00:04:16,186
Just ironing
and singing.
106
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:17,602
Yeah, you know,
it's weird, too,
107
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,569
Because I know of
at least three
adult videos
108
00:04:19,707 --> 00:04:20,881
which begin exactly
the same way.
109
00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:23,435
It's wild.
Kids love it.
110
00:04:23,573 --> 00:04:25,126
They just eat it up.
They stare at it.
111
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,164
They're hypnotized
by it. They just
sit there quietly.
112
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,303
It's great,
'cause the grownups,
113
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:30,822
the parents can just
live for a second.
114
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,133
We hate it.
Let me finish.
115
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,376
We hate them, though.
116
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:36,310
Why?
Because... Why?
117
00:04:36,448 --> 00:04:37,967
Because it's
like baby opium.
118
00:04:38,105 --> 00:04:40,038
Kids just stare at it,
and their brains shut off.
119
00:04:40,176 --> 00:04:42,454
James. She's
ironing and singing.
120
00:04:42,592 --> 00:04:44,456
Exactly. She's teaching
children nothing.
121
00:04:44,594 --> 00:04:46,562
These things ought to
open up kids' minds.
122
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,357
Ah, well, why don't
you write one if
you know so much?
123
00:04:48,495 --> 00:04:49,841
Oh, all right.
No, I'm just saying.
124
00:04:49,979 --> 00:04:52,119
Paulie could direct it,
I could produce it.
125
00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:53,534
I mean, what are we
talking about here,
126
00:04:53,672 --> 00:04:55,916
a $6 or $8 cost
per dozen?
127
00:04:56,054 --> 00:04:59,816
Each one for 19.95 times,
say, 60,000 units. That's--
128
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,199
Please write one.
129
00:05:05,028 --> 00:05:05,995
It's not a terrible idea.
130
00:05:06,133 --> 00:05:07,341
We could make
a little money.
131
00:05:07,479 --> 00:05:08,929
God, we'd be helping
parents out.
132
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,344
With a big
financial upside.
133
00:05:10,482 --> 00:05:12,519
We could teach kids
life lessons.
134
00:05:12,657 --> 00:05:14,383
Make a big, stupid
pile of cash.
135
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,764
I could actually get
excited about this.
Me, too.
136
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:18,663
Are we doing this?
Yes, absolutely.
137
00:05:18,801 --> 00:05:20,009
All right.
All right.
138
00:05:20,147 --> 00:05:21,113
Sweetie, what
do you think?
139
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,667
What happened now?
140
00:05:29,087 --> 00:05:30,399
Okay, all right, Pop,
141
00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:31,883
Again, here...
142
00:05:32,021 --> 00:05:33,056
Melon rinds,
143
00:05:33,194 --> 00:05:34,334
glass,
144
00:05:34,472 --> 00:05:35,473
utensils,
145
00:05:36,405 --> 00:05:37,923
anything that
isn't a liquid,
146
00:05:38,061 --> 00:05:40,616
not a friend
to the drain.
That's all.
147
00:05:40,754 --> 00:05:41,927
I know. I'm sorry.
148
00:05:42,065 --> 00:05:43,343
That's all right,
that's all right.
149
00:05:43,481 --> 00:05:44,689
So how are you
doing, Pop? Good?
150
00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:45,862
I'm good.
I'm very good.
151
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,174
Yeah? How'd everything
go at the doctor's?
152
00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:48,796
It went great.
153
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:50,073
He gave me these drops,
154
00:05:50,211 --> 00:05:52,697
These ginkgo
biloba drops.
155
00:05:52,835 --> 00:05:53,836
You ever hear
of those yet?
156
00:05:53,974 --> 00:05:55,285
Sure. Ginkgo biloba.
Yeah.
157
00:05:55,424 --> 00:05:58,668
Eight drops a day,
and now I hear better.
158
00:05:58,806 --> 00:06:00,118
I didn't know you had
a problem hearing.
159
00:06:00,256 --> 00:06:02,879
I didn't. I heard fine.
Only now, I hear better.
160
00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:04,122
I hear everything.
161
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,020
I hear stuff that
I never heard before.
162
00:06:07,228 --> 00:06:08,160
Like what?
163
00:06:08,298 --> 00:06:09,610
Rain.
164
00:06:10,266 --> 00:06:11,267
Birds.
165
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,649
All the wonders
of nature.
166
00:06:13,787 --> 00:06:14,788
SYLVIA: Burt!
167
00:06:14,926 --> 00:06:16,203
Also, some things
in the apartment.
168
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,033
You can't believe
the stuff I've heard.
169
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,415
You know
my favorite song?
170
00:06:21,553 --> 00:06:23,383
♪ The last time
I saw... ♪
171
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:24,970
Paris.
172
00:06:25,108 --> 00:06:26,282
♪ The last time I saw Paris ♪
173
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,733
I never heard the word
"Paris" until this week.
174
00:06:30,217 --> 00:06:32,599
All my life I thought
it was a song
about a blind man.
175
00:06:33,703 --> 00:06:35,843
It's a song about Paris.
That's unbelievable.
176
00:06:35,981 --> 00:06:37,914
I heard the doorbell ringing,
Uh-huh.
177
00:06:38,052 --> 00:06:39,157
The coffee
percolating...
178
00:06:39,295 --> 00:06:41,193
Yeah.
And I heard
you have a brother.
179
00:06:42,954 --> 00:06:44,093
[STAMMERS]
A what?
180
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:45,232
Right there.
181
00:06:46,302 --> 00:06:47,234
What are you
talking about?
182
00:06:47,372 --> 00:06:48,822
On the refrigerator.
There.
183
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,099
This?
Yeah, that's
your brother.
184
00:06:50,237 --> 00:06:52,273
Yeah, under
the banana magnet.
185
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,552
I thought this was like
your friend's grandson
or something.
186
00:06:54,690 --> 00:06:57,451
So did I, and
then the drops.
187
00:06:58,590 --> 00:07:00,143
I heard
your mother explain
188
00:07:00,281 --> 00:07:02,939
what that $12 check was
she wrote every month.
189
00:07:03,077 --> 00:07:04,976
Meet your brother,
Eddie Woo.
190
00:07:07,772 --> 00:07:08,807
Do I have
a foster brother?
191
00:07:08,945 --> 00:07:09,946
Your eastern brother.
192
00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:11,500
He's Thai.
193
00:07:11,638 --> 00:07:12,811
Oh, he's Thai.
194
00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:14,434
Eats everything
with mint.
195
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:20,992
Did you tell him yet?
196
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:22,200
Uh-huh.
You did?
197
00:07:22,338 --> 00:07:23,650
How did he take it?
He took it fine.
198
00:07:23,788 --> 00:07:25,686
Okay, please don't
talk about me
in the third person.
199
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,481
I don't like it.
200
00:07:27,619 --> 00:07:30,691
It doesn't mean
that we love you
any less, Paulie.
201
00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,279
I, I understand.
202
00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:35,040
Would you like us
to take you to Carvel
for a sundae?
203
00:07:36,973 --> 00:07:38,009
I think
I'll be okay.
204
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:42,220
IRA: A brother
in Thailand, huh?
205
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:44,153
The first Buchman
who can ride
an elephant.
206
00:07:44,291 --> 00:07:45,603
[CHUCKLES]
207
00:07:47,052 --> 00:07:48,571
Paulie.
208
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:49,917
Elephant. Yeah, hops
right on the elephant.
209
00:07:50,055 --> 00:07:51,367
Yeah, okay.
All right.
210
00:07:52,644 --> 00:07:53,783
So what do
we think?
211
00:07:53,921 --> 00:07:55,716
Well, if you keep
the sets minimal
212
00:07:55,854 --> 00:07:57,753
and you don't hire any
actors, it could work.
213
00:07:57,891 --> 00:07:58,857
Of course
it could work.
214
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,238
We can make
a very nice,
215
00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:01,791
very sellable
little film here.
216
00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:03,828
One that educates
and stimulates.
217
00:08:03,966 --> 00:08:05,657
And yet is
commercially viable.
218
00:08:05,795 --> 00:08:09,074
And yet doesn't pander,
but instead inspires
young imaginations.
219
00:08:09,212 --> 00:08:10,317
All right. Whatever.
220
00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:12,146
Whatever?
You say whatever--
221
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,872
All right, both of you,
I will turn this car around.
222
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,218
All right.
[CLEARS THROAT]
223
00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:16,979
James, tell us
what you got
on the script.
224
00:08:17,117 --> 00:08:19,533
Okay. The central
character is,
225
00:08:19,671 --> 00:08:20,879
you're gonna
love this,
226
00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:21,984
The Sandman.
227
00:08:22,743 --> 00:08:23,813
The Sandman?
228
00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:25,988
You mean, the guy
who puts you to sleep?
229
00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:30,579
Yes. I think the Sandman
could teach kids
what sleep is
230
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:31,787
and why they need it.
231
00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,029
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
232
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,652
'Cause they're never
gonna figure that out.
233
00:08:34,790 --> 00:08:36,101
Hey, you know what?
If we're collaborating--
234
00:08:36,239 --> 00:08:37,482
All right, all right.
Talking nicely.
235
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:38,863
We're talking nicely.
Everybody--
236
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:40,002
No, wait a minute.
237
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,382
Why do we need
a character like that?
238
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,798
Why can't
it just be a person?
239
00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:44,765
You know, like,
in a housecoat.
240
00:08:44,903 --> 00:08:46,077
Maybe ironing
and singing.
241
00:08:47,112 --> 00:08:48,597
It's already
been done, Ira.
242
00:08:48,735 --> 00:08:50,322
Yes, so we know
that it works.
243
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:51,600
We're trying to do
something better here.
244
00:08:51,738 --> 00:08:53,740
We want to edify,
not just anesthetize.
245
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:56,018
I have no idea
what she just said.
246
00:08:56,363 --> 00:08:57,329
Ira.
247
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:58,399
Listen to me.
248
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,953
The iron lady
in the housecoat
249
00:09:00,091 --> 00:09:01,989
is a beloved
national figure.
250
00:09:02,127 --> 00:09:03,888
I say we get an iron,
we get a housecoat,
251
00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:05,406
and we just roll tape.
252
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,925
I mean, how simple
can it be?
Are you just gonna make any--
253
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,893
All right, everybody.
Listen, James,
why don't you...
254
00:09:09,031 --> 00:09:09,963
The floor is yours.
255
00:09:10,101 --> 00:09:11,343
Okay.
[CLEARS THROAT]
256
00:09:11,481 --> 00:09:15,106
The Sandman is standing
over a crib, and he sings,
257
00:09:15,244 --> 00:09:18,316
[TALKING] "As the sun sinks
below the horizon
258
00:09:18,454 --> 00:09:21,768
"a handful of dust
I'll sprinkle your eyes in.
259
00:09:26,669 --> 00:09:29,396
"Sleep is a natural
phenomenon
260
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:31,881
"and with my help
it can go on and on."
261
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,577
That's all I got so far.
262
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:40,959
"I will sprinkle
your eyes in."
JAMIE: What have you got?
263
00:09:41,097 --> 00:09:43,306
I thought it was great.
Very clever, thank you.
264
00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:44,584
All right,
all right, look.
265
00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:46,482
Can the Sandman at least
be in a housecoat?
266
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,587
JAMIE: No.
267
00:09:49,278 --> 00:09:52,315
No. He has to be
in a sandman costume.
268
00:09:52,453 --> 00:09:53,938
What's a Sandman costume?
269
00:09:54,076 --> 00:09:56,043
You know, a long hat
with a ball on the end
270
00:09:56,181 --> 00:09:59,012
And the one-piece gold thing
with the little flap.
Oh, cool!
271
00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:01,186
All right. Is there
any reason why he
can't be ironing?
272
00:10:01,324 --> 00:10:03,257
DEBBIE: Ira?
JAMIE: You know what?
273
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,396
What do you think?
274
00:10:04,983 --> 00:10:06,122
Hmm?
275
00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:07,952
Choose. Rule.
Make a ruling.
276
00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:09,401
I-- Well--
277
00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:12,681
You know, it's a teeny,
little, teeny,
kiddie, tuney video.
278
00:10:12,819 --> 00:10:14,648
Oh, boy, you've never
been excited about this.
279
00:10:14,786 --> 00:10:16,063
I've never been-- What?
We've been doing this
280
00:10:16,201 --> 00:10:17,444
for, like, exactly 12 seconds.
So what?
281
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,342
Show some enthusiasm.
282
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,792
I don't-- You know, it's...
283
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,656
I, I like videos.
284
00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:24,934
I don't know why
we have to make one,
you know.
285
00:10:25,072 --> 00:10:26,729
I mean, I like pancakes.
I'm not opening an IHOP.
286
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:27,972
You know, so I don't...
287
00:10:30,526 --> 00:10:32,390
I have been
raising your child
for four months...
288
00:10:32,528 --> 00:10:33,702
Okay, here comes
the child-raising story--
289
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,358
Nine months
of pregnancy...
290
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:36,463
All right,
now the swelling.
291
00:10:36,601 --> 00:10:38,016
My ankles swollen
like redwoods--
292
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:39,569
All right. Here we go.
Sandman.
I'm excited, excited,
293
00:10:39,708 --> 00:10:41,537
Excited, very excited. Whoo!
Excited. Very excited.
294
00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:48,855
Hey, Paulie,
come on, would ya?
Hurry up!
295
00:10:48,993 --> 00:10:51,512
You know how much
these shyster
camera guys cost?
296
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:53,825
I'm just
making a point.
297
00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:57,518
So my friend who works
for the cable company
298
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,107
says he's gonna broadcast
the video for us.
How about that.
299
00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:02,006
Oh, that's good.
300
00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:03,697
It'll save people
the trouble of
actually buying it.
301
00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:04,974
All right.
302
00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:07,287
Come on, Paulie,
hurry up!
303
00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:10,048
All right. Sandman,
at your service.
[BELLS JINGLING]
304
00:11:16,434 --> 00:11:18,056
Sweetie, in terms
of the pregnancy,
305
00:11:18,194 --> 00:11:19,437
the humiliation,
the pain,
306
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:21,232
I would say
we're even now.
307
00:11:21,370 --> 00:11:22,716
Where's your sand pouch?
308
00:11:22,854 --> 00:11:24,753
What?
Where's your Mr. Sandman
sand pouch?
309
00:11:25,167 --> 00:11:26,306
[STAMMERING]
310
00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:28,135
Where do you think
Mr. Sandman
carries his sand?
311
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:32,174
In his Mr. Sandman
sand pouch?
Yes.
312
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:35,384
Well, I don't know what
I was thinking, forgetting
myself like that.
313
00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:38,180
Day one, you show up without
your Mr. Sandman sand pouch.
314
00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:40,838
Put it over your shoulder.
Don't wear it like a purse
315
00:11:40,976 --> 00:11:43,530
Hey, come on, before
we actually start
hemorrhaging money.
316
00:11:43,668 --> 00:11:45,221
You'll hit the,
the music there,
317
00:11:45,359 --> 00:11:46,809
and I'll mouth along
with the singer,
318
00:11:46,947 --> 00:11:47,879
And then you can get me
as I'm moving
toward the crib.
319
00:11:48,017 --> 00:11:48,984
Hey, creep.
320
00:11:49,674 --> 00:11:50,606
What?
321
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,746
Creep. You have to creep
toward the crib.
322
00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:54,230
Remember, you are
the Sandman.
323
00:11:54,368 --> 00:11:55,784
I know. The horizon,
sprinkle, sprinkle.
The sun sits below.
324
00:11:55,922 --> 00:11:57,337
James, James,
can we go?
325
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:59,097
Well, it's gonna be more
exciting if he creeps.
All right.
326
00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:00,271
Yeah, it's gonna
be a thrill ride.
327
00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:01,444
Okay, you
know what, Mr.
328
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,240
You okay there,
Mr. Director?
329
00:12:04,378 --> 00:12:05,517
Yeah. Yeah,
I think Hitchcock
330
00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:06,726
used to wear this
around, didn't he?
331
00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:09,038
All right, let's go.
332
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,522
Ira, you'll say,
"Action."
333
00:12:10,660 --> 00:12:11,696
Paulie,
you're the director.
334
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:12,973
Yes, but look
how I'm dressed.
335
00:12:13,111 --> 00:12:14,043
Are they gonna
listen to me?
[SCOFFS]
336
00:12:15,217 --> 00:12:16,459
Okay, here we go. Tony!
337
00:12:17,288 --> 00:12:18,289
All right. Lights.
338
00:12:18,841 --> 00:12:20,291
And,
339
00:12:20,429 --> 00:12:22,155
action!
[TAPE PLAYS TINKLY
MUSIC-BOX MUSIC]
340
00:12:25,020 --> 00:12:26,918
Wait, wait, wait.
Sweetie, what is that?
I don't know.
341
00:12:27,056 --> 00:12:28,678
What did we just
say about creeping?
342
00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:30,922
I thought
that qualified
as creeping.
343
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:32,855
So did I. I thought
it was great creeping.
344
00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:33,925
He was walking.
345
00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:34,995
James, he was creeping.
346
00:12:35,133 --> 00:12:36,583
He looked like a guy
getting the paper.
347
00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:39,103
Okay, when
you say "he,"
348
00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:40,483
I'm right here. Okay?
349
00:12:40,621 --> 00:12:42,209
James, perhaps
you want to show him
how he should creep.
350
00:12:42,347 --> 00:12:44,177
Happy to. How hard is it?
Creeping. He's creeping.
351
00:12:44,315 --> 00:12:45,937
Well, that's what
I was going for.
Well, it didn't--
352
00:12:46,075 --> 00:12:47,145
Can we shoot,
please?
353
00:12:47,283 --> 00:12:49,078
All right. We're back
to one, everybody.
354
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:50,804
All right,
here we go. Tony.
355
00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:52,185
This is gonna be
the winner.
356
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:53,289
And lights.
357
00:12:53,703 --> 00:12:54,635
And,
358
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,705
action.
359
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,811
[TINKLY MUSIC PLAYING]
360
00:12:58,950 --> 00:13:00,676
Sweetie, sweetie,
sweetie, sweetie.
361
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:01,884
What's wrong with that?
362
00:13:02,022 --> 00:13:03,472
What happened there,
the Sandman slip a disc?
363
00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:05,715
Whoa, that's very cute.
I was trying--
364
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:06,855
He was creeping.
365
00:13:06,993 --> 00:13:08,201
Okay, I'm pretty sure
that wasn't creeping.
366
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:09,823
I don't know what it was,
but I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
367
00:13:09,961 --> 00:13:11,514
Okay, listen, if that's
not creeping,
I don't know what is.
368
00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:12,895
Hey, either I was born
yesterday, or it wasn't--
369
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:15,277
Okay. The Sandman
cannot work like this!
370
00:13:23,285 --> 00:13:27,013
You know who would
really enjoy a copy
of your baby video?
371
00:13:27,151 --> 00:13:28,152
Who?
Your brother.
372
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:30,326
Ma--
373
00:13:30,464 --> 00:13:31,707
Don't be jealous.
374
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,122
I'm not jealous.
Why would I be jealous?
375
00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:35,193
What? You never heard
of sibling rivalry?
376
00:13:35,331 --> 00:13:36,816
I don't really think
of him as a sibling.
377
00:13:36,954 --> 00:13:38,162
Truck! Truck!
378
00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:40,992
What are you saying?
379
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,614
Outside.
Don't you hear it?
380
00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:44,927
Oh, yeah,
good for you, Pop.
381
00:13:45,065 --> 00:13:46,515
Big truck.
Yeah, good.
382
00:13:48,482 --> 00:13:50,864
Those drops
are incredible.
383
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:52,279
Ma, let me
ask you something.
384
00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:55,075
Eddie Woo lives
in a hut in Chiang Mai,
385
00:13:55,213 --> 00:13:56,456
So how's he gonna
watch a video?
386
00:13:56,594 --> 00:13:57,698
They sent us a tape.
387
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,321
Somebody over there
must have something.
388
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:03,325
All right. So I'm gonna
send my brother a video.
389
00:14:03,463 --> 00:14:06,362
Oh, good, because
you know how
he looks up to you.
390
00:14:09,227 --> 00:14:10,711
Eddie-- Eddie Woo
looks up to me?
391
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,679
My god,
he idolizes you.
392
00:14:17,097 --> 00:14:18,823
JAMIE: All right, everyone,
it's time for the video.
393
00:14:18,961 --> 00:14:20,756
I wanna watch
The Terminator.
394
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,862
Ha. What a
cutie she is.
395
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,002
Not gonna happen,
Claire. Get real.
396
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,900
I wanna watch
The Terminator.
397
00:14:27,038 --> 00:14:29,869
You know what, Claire?
This is actually a better
video for you to watch.
398
00:14:30,524 --> 00:14:32,492
[TINKLY MUSIC PLAYING]
399
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:39,706
♪ I'm the Sandman
400
00:14:39,844 --> 00:14:43,641
♪ As the sun sinks
below the horizon
401
00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:45,160
♪ I'm the Sandman
402
00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:46,678
I don't like this.
403
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:48,163
Turn him off.
404
00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:49,750
♪ Sprinkle your eyes in
405
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,614
Sprinkle
your eyes in?
406
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:53,133
[SHUSHING]
407
00:14:53,271 --> 00:14:56,274
♪ Sleep is a natural
Phenomenon
408
00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:57,724
♪ And with my help
409
00:14:57,862 --> 00:15:00,037
♪ It can go on and on
410
00:15:00,175 --> 00:15:02,832
He's scary.
411
00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:05,145
He's gonna throw
sand in my eyes.
412
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,941
[BABIES CRYING]
413
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:09,874
Mommy, it's scary.
414
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:10,944
Really?
415
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:12,773
CLAIRE: Scary
Sandman, Mommy.
416
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,057
So then
what happened?
417
00:15:20,195 --> 00:15:21,575
By the end of the song,
they were all crying.
418
00:15:21,713 --> 00:15:23,923
No.
Screaming
and wailing.
419
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,166
Even Mabel?
420
00:15:26,304 --> 00:15:27,996
Especially Mabel.
That's when she started
throwing up the baby food.
421
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:30,550
Sweetie,
no offense, but...
422
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:31,792
Video or no video,
423
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,794
that baby food of yours
was not gonna stay down.
424
00:15:34,761 --> 00:15:35,693
Did you see
the color?
425
00:15:35,831 --> 00:15:36,728
Yeah, that was
the color of peas.
426
00:15:36,866 --> 00:15:37,867
It was
the color of fear.
427
00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:40,594
It was peas, but...
428
00:15:42,596 --> 00:15:44,288
We'll just see
what the doctor says.
429
00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:46,290
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
430
00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:47,567
And you know what?
I'll tell you something else.
431
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:48,809
I find it hard to believe
432
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:52,020
that Sandman would cause
that much of a ruckus.
433
00:15:52,158 --> 00:15:54,332
[SCREAMING] It's him!
It's the Sandman!
434
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:55,782
[SCREAMING]
435
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:56,956
Mommy, the Sandman's
after me.
436
00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:59,130
The Sandman's
after us!
437
00:15:59,268 --> 00:16:02,375
Mommy, make
the Sandman
go away.
438
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,136
Why don't I--
I'll wait downstairs.
439
00:16:09,347 --> 00:16:11,004
[SANDMAN VIDEO PLAYING]
440
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:20,565
There's got to be
some detail,
441
00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:23,223
some subliminal
element
442
00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:26,019
That is just setting
these kids off.
443
00:16:26,157 --> 00:16:29,229
They say Boris Karloff used
to get this kind of reaction
when he went out in public.
444
00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,887
Thank you.
445
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:35,408
I'm just saying
he was a decent man
and people knew that
446
00:16:35,546 --> 00:16:37,617
in the end.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
447
00:16:37,755 --> 00:16:41,000
Good, so just,
after 35 years of
getting pelted with rocks,
448
00:16:41,138 --> 00:16:42,208
I should be okay, huh?
449
00:16:43,071 --> 00:16:44,106
Jamie, hi.
Hi.
450
00:16:44,244 --> 00:16:45,452
Hi.
[CLAIRE SHRIEKS]
451
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:46,867
Is that him?
Is that him?
452
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,076
Honey, calm down,
calm down.
453
00:16:48,214 --> 00:16:49,698
The Sandman is
not gonna talk.
454
00:16:50,871 --> 00:16:52,287
Oh, Sarah,
I'm so sorry.
455
00:16:52,425 --> 00:16:53,598
I just--
Ow!
456
00:16:57,154 --> 00:16:58,396
Sarah, I just
want to say
457
00:16:58,534 --> 00:16:59,846
I hope this
doesn't sour you
458
00:16:59,984 --> 00:17:01,192
on the mommy
and me group.
459
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:02,883
It really is
a worthwhile thing.
460
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,714
Yeah, no, no, I'm sticking
with the mommy and me thing.
Oh, good.
461
00:17:05,852 --> 00:17:08,303
But I think it might be
better if you skipped
a meeting or two.
462
00:17:10,236 --> 00:17:12,065
I mean, just until
everybody calms
down a little bit.
463
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:13,791
You know?
464
00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:15,551
And the mommies,
they all agree with me.
465
00:17:16,518 --> 00:17:17,795
You talked to
the mommies
about me?
466
00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:18,934
Oh, yeah.
467
00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:21,281
Oh, uh, okay.
468
00:17:21,419 --> 00:17:22,455
Okay, Claire,
turn around.
469
00:17:22,593 --> 00:17:24,353
Step, step, step,
out we go.
470
00:17:24,733 --> 00:17:25,699
So sorry.
471
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,322
PAUL: Bye!
[CLAIRE SHRIEKS]
472
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:29,393
JAMIE: Sorry!
473
00:17:33,259 --> 00:17:35,295
Was I just thrown out
of a play group?
474
00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,401
Sweetie, see,
without the sound,
just the picture,
475
00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:39,334
It's very cute.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
476
00:17:39,472 --> 00:17:41,508
What are you saying,
that my song
is the problem?
477
00:17:41,646 --> 00:17:43,614
Honey, I'm just
a man on the run
looking for answers.
478
00:17:44,891 --> 00:17:46,479
Hey.
Uh-oh.
479
00:17:46,617 --> 00:17:48,584
The sales figures
from our first weekend.
480
00:17:48,722 --> 00:17:49,689
PAUL: And?
Two!
481
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,104
200?
482
00:17:51,242 --> 00:17:53,106
No, two.
Two tapes.
483
00:17:53,244 --> 00:17:54,521
One 'cause
they were out of blanks,
484
00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:57,283
And the other
'cause it was free
when you bought a blank.
485
00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,768
Boy, that's just
really inspiring.
James...
486
00:17:59,906 --> 00:18:01,563
A housecoat
and an iron.
I begged you.
487
00:18:01,701 --> 00:18:04,497
All right, all right,
both of you. All right.
488
00:18:04,635 --> 00:18:06,292
Okay, Paulie,
we now enter
489
00:18:06,430 --> 00:18:09,398
what I find to be
the most rewarding phase
of any business venture,
490
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:11,193
recriminations.
491
00:18:12,401 --> 00:18:13,644
Well, I blame you.
492
00:18:13,782 --> 00:18:14,817
Yeah,
and I blame you.
493
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:16,923
Well, there you go.
494
00:18:17,061 --> 00:18:18,890
Paulie, let me
ask you a question.
495
00:18:19,028 --> 00:18:20,444
Why did you have
to act that way?
496
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:22,273
You know what?
You get what
you pay for,
497
00:18:22,411 --> 00:18:23,412
That's what
I always say.
498
00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:24,931
Yeah, well...
Ooh.
499
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:26,415
Have a little
sympathy for me
500
00:18:26,553 --> 00:18:27,865
'cause you know
I lost my shirt.
501
00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:32,594
What?
502
00:18:39,463 --> 00:18:40,567
What does that
taste like?
503
00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:43,950
Cocoa Puffs.
504
00:18:44,985 --> 00:18:45,917
Okay.
505
00:18:46,055 --> 00:18:47,126
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
506
00:18:49,956 --> 00:18:51,371
I hope you're happy.
507
00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:53,856
What's the matter?
We got a package
from your brother.
508
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:54,961
From who?
509
00:18:55,099 --> 00:18:57,274
BOTH: Eddie Woo!
Oh, it's my brother.
510
00:18:57,412 --> 00:18:59,034
He's very upset.
511
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,277
Listen to this.
512
00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:03,280
"Kill Sandman,
Mommy Buchman.
513
00:19:03,418 --> 00:19:06,593
Kill Sandman.
Sandman must die."
514
00:19:09,286 --> 00:19:10,942
Well, you know what?
Send him 20 bucks a month.
515
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,185
Let him get
some therapy, too.
516
00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:14,014
Don't make fun of him.
517
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,258
He hasn't had
the advantages
that you've had.
518
00:19:16,396 --> 00:19:18,260
I understand, Ma,
I really do.
519
00:19:18,398 --> 00:19:19,537
Yeah, you--
Airplane!
520
00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:20,711
Airplane!
521
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:23,955
Big airplane.
522
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:25,474
Oh, right.
Good, good, Pa.
523
00:19:25,612 --> 00:19:27,787
You are scaring everyone
in the Pacific Rim.
524
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:30,099
This is the first time
I've ever been
ashamed of you.
525
00:19:30,238 --> 00:19:31,170
Ma.
526
00:19:31,308 --> 00:19:32,516
Can't you just once
527
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:34,518
put your brother
ahead of yourself?
528
00:19:34,656 --> 00:19:37,106
Ma, if I could get rid
of the Sandman tomorrow,
believe me, I would.
529
00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:38,177
Why don't you?
530
00:19:38,315 --> 00:19:39,695
What do you
want me to do?
531
00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:42,181
Well, for god sakes,
do something.
532
00:19:43,561 --> 00:19:45,598
Hey, kids, guess what?
533
00:19:45,736 --> 00:19:48,842
Great news.
The Sandman is gone.
534
00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:51,949
There is
no more Sandman.
535
00:19:52,087 --> 00:19:55,297
See? The Sandman
is going away.
536
00:19:55,435 --> 00:19:57,610
That's right. See?
Good-bye.
537
00:19:57,748 --> 00:20:00,164
[SPITS]
Goodbye, Sandman.
538
00:20:00,302 --> 00:20:02,062
Sandman is gone. See?
539
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,582
Sandman shoes.
Sandman all gone.
540
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,171
Jump, jump,
he's gone. Okay?
541
00:20:07,309 --> 00:20:08,759
The Sandman is nuts.
542
00:20:08,897 --> 00:20:10,381
The Sandman was just silly.
543
00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,832
The Sandman
was a silly man.
544
00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:15,283
Oh, silly man.
545
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:17,733
He's so silly,
silly man.
546
00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:19,597
Look how silly he is.
547
00:20:19,735 --> 00:20:20,702
[CHILDREN GIGGLING]
548
00:20:22,704 --> 00:20:24,188
PAUL: You know what,
this is not any better.
549
00:20:24,326 --> 00:20:25,707
You should be happy
and relieved.
550
00:20:25,845 --> 00:20:26,777
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, sure.
551
00:20:26,915 --> 00:20:28,606
You should.
It's a big improvement.
552
00:20:28,744 --> 00:20:30,815
Look, Mommy,
it's silly man.
553
00:20:33,128 --> 00:20:34,957
You're right, honey.
It is silly man.
554
00:20:36,787 --> 00:20:38,823
Look, silly man!
555
00:20:38,961 --> 00:20:41,654
Oh, isn't that just
like you saw on TV?
556
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:43,276
Well, good
talking to you.
JAMIE: See you later.
557
00:20:43,414 --> 00:20:45,347
Nice to see you.
Bye-bye.
558
00:20:45,485 --> 00:20:46,762
PAUL: I think I liked it
better the other way.
559
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:48,316
At least kids respected
me a little bit.
560
00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:50,145
Silly man!
561
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,252
Silly man, do the
stomping thing,
silly man.
562
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:56,979
Um, silly man
doesn't really want
563
00:20:57,117 --> 00:20:58,429
to do the stomping
thing, okay?
564
00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,811
Oh, please?
565
00:21:00,949 --> 00:21:03,192
Oh, that's nice,
silly man.
Thanks a lot.
566
00:21:17,655 --> 00:21:18,587
Okay, this is it.
567
00:21:18,725 --> 00:21:19,692
Okay.
568
00:21:30,565 --> 00:21:31,531
Well?
569
00:21:36,225 --> 00:21:37,296
We have any cookies
in the house?
570
00:22:40,945 --> 00:22:42,084
Okay, this is it.
571
00:22:42,222 --> 00:22:43,223
Okay.
572
00:22:54,062 --> 00:22:55,063
Well?
573
00:22:59,757 --> 00:23:00,931
We have any cookies
in the house?
40704
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