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1
00:00:04,763 --> 00:00:09,319
"And all of the animals
stopped and listened
to the wonderful sound.
2
00:00:09,457 --> 00:00:11,666
"They had never heard
anything so beautiful.
3
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,910
"It was a special day
in the forest.
4
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:18,363
"It was the day
Billy the Bullfrog
got back his croak.
5
00:00:19,122 --> 00:00:20,641
"The end."
6
00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,574
Huh? What do you think
of that story?
7
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:23,747
[FART]
8
00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,370
[SNIFFING]
9
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:32,170
Ew! Next time,
just a little thumbs down
will do fine.
10
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:45,459
♪ Mmm mmm mmm
11
00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:51,120
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
12
00:00:51,258 --> 00:00:54,261
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
13
00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:56,021
♪ As much as you
14
00:00:56,159 --> 00:01:00,129
♪ Tell me all your secrets
I'll tell you most of mine
15
00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:02,062
♪ They say nobody's perfect
16
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,443
♪ Well, that's really
true this time
17
00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,480
♪ 'Cause I don't have
the answers
18
00:01:06,618 --> 00:01:08,585
♪ I don't have a plan
19
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,794
♪ All I have is you,
So, baby
20
00:01:10,932 --> 00:01:12,486
♪ Help me understand
21
00:01:12,624 --> 00:01:14,488
♪ What we do
22
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,490
♪ You can whisper
in my ear
23
00:01:16,628 --> 00:01:18,630
♪ Where we go
24
00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:21,150
♪ Who knows what happens
after here?
25
00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:23,359
♪ Let's take each other's hand
26
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:26,672
♪ And jump
into the final frontier
27
00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,054
♪ Ah ha ha
28
00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:36,855
Okay, why?
29
00:01:36,993 --> 00:01:38,753
Why would Al Gore
come to New York City
30
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,859
When he knows
all it's gonna do
is screw up traffic
31
00:01:40,997 --> 00:01:42,343
and make
everybody
angry at him?
32
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:43,586
He's gonna be
on Conan.
33
00:01:45,346 --> 00:01:47,659
Oh, that's right.
Plugging the new
Al Gore cologne.
34
00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:50,903
Come on.
We should leave early
35
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,215
if we want to make it
on time to the restaurant.
36
00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:53,320
Right.
37
00:01:54,321 --> 00:01:56,495
I wonder what this
new "boyfriend" is like
38
00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:57,565
your mother
wants us to meet.
39
00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:59,222
He is not
her "boyfriend".
40
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,224
At no time did she use
the word "boyfriend".
41
00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,295
She called him
her "Gentleman friend".
42
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,090
Gentleman friend?
43
00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,402
So, in other words,
they're not, like...
44
00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,611
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Don't do that.
45
00:02:10,406 --> 00:02:13,374
[MABEL COOING]
46
00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,312
There's tuna salad.
47
00:02:21,589 --> 00:02:22,763
No, no,
thank you.
48
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,730
I... I was just...
just wondering.
49
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:26,491
What?
50
00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,113
How close you are to,
you know,
51
00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:30,874
using the bottle
at all, to any degree?
52
00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,013
Soon.
53
00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:33,463
'Cause...
54
00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,983
I know soon, but,
like... Like when?
55
00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,088
Like soon. I don't
wanna give this up.
56
00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:39,469
I love this.
57
00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:41,195
Who's saying give it up?
I would never say
give it up.
58
00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,714
I'm saying...
Augment.
59
00:02:42,852 --> 00:02:43,956
Augment.
60
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:45,855
The bottle in addition
to the breast.
61
00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:47,443
Yes, but once
they get ahold
of the bottle,
62
00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:49,410
some babies
lose interest
in the breast.
63
00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:51,309
She'd have to be nuts.
64
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:56,210
I would miss this time
with her so much.
65
00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:58,212
It's just sweet,
intimate...
66
00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,317
Ow!
67
00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:03,459
Even so.
68
00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:05,633
It's just, you know,
when I see you
feeding her,
69
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,014
you guys...
you're so close.
70
00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:10,086
You're close to her.
You change her, you clean her.
71
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,985
I'm close to
the bottom of her.
72
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,748
I'd like to be close
to the top of her.
73
00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,577
I want some action
on the way in.
74
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,270
Soon.
75
00:03:21,408 --> 00:03:23,513
'Cause, you know,
nutritionally,
the bottle is fine.
76
00:03:23,651 --> 00:03:24,583
I know. Soon.
77
00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,344
[MABEL COOING]
78
00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:27,897
Plus, you'd be able
to keep, you know,
your clothes on in public,
79
00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:29,174
Which we used
to enjoy.
80
00:03:30,865 --> 00:03:32,660
Soon.
81
00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:35,215
Okay. But you're definitely
gonna do it, right?
82
00:03:35,353 --> 00:03:36,319
Soon.
83
00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:40,944
In India, a hurricane
might be called a mon...
84
00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:42,222
Soon.
Soon, yes.
85
00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:49,263
Can you believe it?
She... She won't even
86
00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:50,885
let me feed
my own child.
87
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,162
Don't you understand?
88
00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:54,095
As far as the kid
is concerned,
you are done.
89
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,235
Okay?
90
00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:57,202
Finished.
91
00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:59,066
I mean, from now on,
you are just the guy
who sits in the chair
92
00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:00,688
and smells
increasingly odd
93
00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:02,069
as the years
go by.
94
00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:05,175
Everybody,
say hello
to Mr. Buchman.
95
00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:06,591
Hey-hey.
96
00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:08,696
[IN UNISON]
Hi, Mr. Buchman.
97
00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:10,284
Hello, team.
How are you doing?
98
00:04:10,422 --> 00:04:12,459
Oh, everybody say,
thank you, Mr. Buchman.
99
00:04:12,597 --> 00:04:14,944
[IN UNISON]
Thank you, Mr. Buchman.
100
00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,186
[CHUCKLES]
What is this?
101
00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:19,189
Paulie, I give you
the Turtle Bay Rangers,
102
00:04:19,328 --> 00:04:20,812
newest entry
in the midtown
103
00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:22,020
Youth Hockey League,
104
00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:23,263
Sponsored by...
105
00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:26,542
[IN UNISON]
Buchman's sporting goods.
106
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,164
Well, that's
so cool.
107
00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,339
Yeah. They've come here
for their last-minute
pep talk.
108
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:32,444
Oh. From you,
of course,
Mr. Hockey.
109
00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:35,275
All right, men.
110
00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:36,862
In just
a short while,
111
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,279
you will be faced
with the greatest
athletic challenge
112
00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:40,763
of your
young lives
113
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,799
against
your sworn enemy,
114
00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:44,353
The Murray Hill
Red Wings.
115
00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:46,009
Now, each of you
may be wondering
116
00:04:46,147 --> 00:04:47,217
how you're
gonna hold up
117
00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:48,322
in the heat
of the battle.
118
00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,807
Well, until
that opening face-off,
119
00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:52,499
you cannot
know for sure.
120
00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:55,709
So what I want
to tell you is this:
121
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:58,505
You do
what you feel.
122
00:04:58,643 --> 00:04:59,575
Okay?
123
00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:02,267
If you're tired,
slow down.
124
00:05:02,612 --> 00:05:03,579
Huh?
125
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:05,995
If you're afraid
of the puck,
run away.
126
00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:09,481
And, if you feel like
giving up, remember:
127
00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:11,172
Sometimes
you really should.
128
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,760
All right?
All right!
129
00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,211
Let's go out there
and play some hockey!
All right?
130
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,626
Ice cream
if you lose!
131
00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:18,076
[IN UNISON]
Yay!
132
00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:21,493
"Ice cream
if you lose"?
133
00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:23,461
I was just
being realistic.
134
00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:26,256
You could've held out
the possibility
that they could win.
135
00:05:26,395 --> 00:05:27,672
What, have you ever
seen them play?
136
00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,609
That is very
generous of you
137
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:35,335
that you would sponsor
the kids like that.
138
00:05:35,473 --> 00:05:37,371
Eh, well,
believe me...
[LAUGHS]
139
00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,373
I'll get
my investment back.
140
00:05:39,511 --> 00:05:40,788
Why? What does
that mean?
141
00:05:40,926 --> 00:05:42,100
Well, you know,
nothin'. It's just...
142
00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:44,033
It's good advertising,
plus...
143
00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:45,172
Plus what?
144
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:46,691
Nothin'.
145
00:05:48,693 --> 00:05:49,970
What?
146
00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:52,559
Paulie, let's just say
that if the Rangers lose,
147
00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:53,663
I win.
148
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,982
Did you fix
a youth hockey game?
149
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,295
Come on,
they're gonna
lose anyway.
150
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,228
Only one of 'em
can actually skate,
151
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,715
and then only
in a big circle
to his left.
152
00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,718
Hey, boss,
what's the spread
on the kids' hockey game?
153
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:16,721
Oh, and what
a fine influence
you are on others.
154
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,206
Hey, everybody.
Hiya.
155
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:20,759
There's my girls.
156
00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,899
Sorry we're late.
Miserable traffic.
157
00:06:23,037 --> 00:06:23,969
Yeah, well,
you know,
158
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,557
Al Gore,
king of late night.
159
00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:26,731
[MABEL FUSSING]
160
00:06:26,869 --> 00:06:28,042
We tried
6th, 8th,
161
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,181
10th, 12th,
162
00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:31,149
the west side highway...
All jammed.
163
00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:33,945
Just miserable
masses of people...
164
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:35,567
Honey.
What?
165
00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:37,914
Not... Not in
the stockroom.
166
00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:41,780
Sweetie, when my breasts
hear a crying child,
167
00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,679
which they have
since 14th street,
168
00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:45,405
very quickly
the bar is open.
169
00:06:45,543 --> 00:06:47,993
Yeah, but she
just ate before.
170
00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:50,340
I'm breastfeeding my child.
Would you get over yourself?
171
00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:51,687
Ow!
172
00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:52,929
Paulie...
173
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,448
Jamie should feel
completely comfortable
174
00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:55,932
breastfeeding
around me.
175
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,418
Oh.
176
00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:01,697
Okay. Admit.
Come on, admit it.
177
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:03,388
This makes you crazy.
178
00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,701
You don't know
whether you should
be embarrassed
179
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,392
or aroused
or thirsty.
180
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:10,430
You don't even know
where to put your eyes.
181
00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:11,879
Admit it. Do it.
182
00:07:12,017 --> 00:07:13,985
It doesn't make me
the least bit
uncomfortable.
183
00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:15,400
Get get...
You're a big liar.
184
00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,608
Marvin,
come on.
185
00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:17,989
You, Marvin, who lives
with your mother.
186
00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,956
This...
187
00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:21,682
This has gotta
make you crazy,
doesn't it?
188
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,063
Not at all.
189
00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:26,307
As a matter of fact,
I find it very calming
and healthy.
190
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,516
All right.
You know what?
191
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,827
Just do something else,
will ya? Get outta here.
192
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,691
Uncle Ira,
I forgot my cup.
193
00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,244
Oh, hey,
don't look there.
Don't look...
194
00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:33,970
Don't look,
don't look there.
195
00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,248
What?
The kid's
gotta eat.
196
00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:39,113
Yeah. Okay.
197
00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:42,082
You know what?
198
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,256
You don't fool me,
none of you.
199
00:07:50,711 --> 00:07:51,850
One little burp
200
00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:54,197
while mommy puts
her bosoms away.
201
00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:56,752
[MABEL BURPS]
202
00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,202
It's the knicks by five
at the half.
203
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,860
THERESA: Hi!
Hey, Mom.
204
00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:04,242
[CHUCKLES]
Hi. Where's
my granddaughter?
205
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,415
Where is she?
206
00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:06,486
Look who's here.
207
00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:08,488
Oh, hello,
sweetheart.
208
00:08:08,626 --> 00:08:09,972
Look how big
she's getting.
209
00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,456
She's so beautiful.
210
00:08:11,594 --> 00:08:13,182
Could we have some ice water
for the table, please?
211
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,390
[IRISH ACCENT]
I beg your pardon.
212
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:15,840
Uh, some ice water
and some breadsticks, please.
213
00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:18,014
I'd love to help you,
if only I worked here.
214
00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:20,154
Patrick,
come here.
215
00:08:21,949 --> 00:08:23,537
THERESA:
Look at that...
216
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:26,885
Look at that face.
Did you ever see
anything so beautiful?
217
00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:29,198
So you're not
the waiter?
218
00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:30,302
Waiter?
219
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,616
Oh, no, honey.
This is Patrick.
220
00:08:33,754 --> 00:08:36,654
Patrick, this is
my daughter Jamie
and my son-in-law Paul.
221
00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:37,793
Oh, pleasure
to meet you.
222
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,104
The gentleman friend.
223
00:08:39,242 --> 00:08:40,485
Guilty as charged.
224
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:42,936
I-I-I-I-I...
225
00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,109
Not at all.
226
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,732
Well, we'd
better order.
227
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,561
Patrick has to get
to a matinee.
228
00:08:47,699 --> 00:08:49,563
Oh, what are you
going to see?
229
00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,116
Oh, no, no, no.
230
00:08:51,254 --> 00:08:52,532
He's in
the matinee.
231
00:08:53,671 --> 00:08:55,258
He's in Lord of the Dance.
232
00:08:56,846 --> 00:08:58,158
You're a Lord
of the Dance
dancer.
233
00:08:58,296 --> 00:09:00,574
And I might add,
the very best one
in the show.
234
00:09:00,712 --> 00:09:01,886
Oh, come now.
235
00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:03,508
No, you are.
236
00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,959
Frankly...
he's better
than the Lord.
237
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,550
Theresa, please.
No, well,
you are.
238
00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:13,345
I mean, the Lord
is a good dancer,
239
00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:15,071
but you're
a better one.
240
00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:16,556
Better dancer
than the Lord.
241
00:09:17,487 --> 00:09:18,765
Are you familiar
with the show?
242
00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,180
Oh, it's got
wonderful staging
243
00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:22,423
and brilliant stories,
lovely music.
244
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,047
Yeah, it's supposed
to be, like,
magically delicious.
245
00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:27,567
But, uh, we couldn't
get tickets.
246
00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,016
Oh, well,
you can now.
247
00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:30,880
Quite so.
I'll see to it.
248
00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:32,986
A dancer?
THERESA:
Uh-huh.
249
00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:35,713
He's a dancer.
I was a dancer.
250
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,197
[LAUGHS]
I mean...
251
00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:38,957
Look at us.
What are the odds?
252
00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:40,476
I would say long.
253
00:09:42,305 --> 00:09:43,859
I'd say the odds
were long.
254
00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:45,239
Sweetie.
Yeah, what?
255
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,931
I'm starving.
What looks good here?
256
00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:49,589
You know what I think
you'd enjoy here, love,
is the shepherd's pie.
257
00:09:49,727 --> 00:09:50,900
THERESA:
Shepherd's pie.
Mm-hmm.
258
00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:52,177
Sounds Irish.
259
00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:53,351
And good.
260
00:09:53,489 --> 00:09:54,973
Oh, it's marvelous.
261
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:57,355
It's marvelous.
It's a real treat.
262
00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,081
And not just
for the shepherd.
263
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,772
[BOTH LAUGHING]
264
00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:05,225
Okay, so here's
a question:
265
00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:07,020
Uh, how...
How did you two meet?
266
00:10:07,158 --> 00:10:10,402
Well, he'd just finished
doing the show...
Well, I'd just finished...
267
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:13,060
No, no, you tell it.
No, you tell it.
268
00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:14,683
'Tis lovelier
told by you.
269
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,201
Oh, somebody
tell it.
270
00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,998
All right.
Well, I went
to see the show...
271
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:21,172
Uh, Lord of
the Dance.
272
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,242
THERESA: Lord of the Dance.
273
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,071
And I found myself
sitting there
274
00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:26,487
absolutely enraptured.
275
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,903
"Enraptured"?
276
00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:28,973
Yes.
277
00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,664
"Enraptured."
278
00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:33,598
Yeah, so... So, Patrick,
how long have you
been in New York?
279
00:10:33,736 --> 00:10:36,014
Oh, six months.
And you're here till...
280
00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,153
Indefinitely.
281
00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:39,293
Oh. Aces.
Sweetie...
282
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,019
So just so I
understand this,
283
00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:43,539
You two would be what?
The phrase would be what?
284
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:44,954
You're dating?
285
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:46,646
Courting?
286
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:47,716
Kidding?
287
00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:49,752
Sweetie,
you know...
288
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:50,960
Did you know
289
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:53,687
that Patrick was voted
all-county dancer
290
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,275
when he was only
five years old?
291
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:57,691
Really?
And that was, like,
what, ten years ago?
292
00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:00,590
Sweetie...
What'd I say?
293
00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:02,006
Jamie, don't start.
294
00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:04,284
What? What did I say?
I just said he was young.
295
00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:05,665
That's enough.
Have I insulted you?
296
00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,425
It's not an insult to
say you're a young man.
297
00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:08,771
That's more
than enough.
298
00:11:08,909 --> 00:11:11,325
What? You're having
a December-May romance.
299
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,499
PAUL:
Sweetie.
300
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:15,191
Or in this case
December-early March, but...
301
00:11:15,329 --> 00:11:16,330
Bingo!
302
00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:18,850
Let's go, Patrick.
303
00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:21,784
You just couldn't
help yourself,
could you?
304
00:11:21,922 --> 00:11:23,993
The shepherd's pie.
Maybe we'll get
some shepherd's pie.
305
00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,616
Oh, now, why would you
want to go and do
a thing like that?
306
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:36,523
Well, we can
forget about those
free tickets now, Ollie.
307
00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,809
[CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
308
00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:54,886
Mom?
309
00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:56,577
Mom.
310
00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,995
What? You're not
speaking to me now?
311
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,859
I'm old.
I can't hear you.
312
00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:02,963
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
313
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,002
[SIGHS IN RELIEF]
Oh, hi, Jamie.
314
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,175
Hi, Patrick.
315
00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:09,487
Don't you talk
to him.
316
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,283
And off. And one,
two, three, four.
317
00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:20,084
Mom, I'm sorry,
but what are you doing,
318
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,396
dating a guy
the square root
of your age?
319
00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,191
And just who are you
to judge me?
320
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,261
I'm your daughter.
321
00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:26,504
PATRICK:
And one...
322
00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:32,130
Listen, Missy,
323
00:12:32,268 --> 00:12:34,029
I don't need
your approval.
324
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,099
Of course
you do.
325
00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:36,686
No, I don't.
326
00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:40,173
I just assumed
that since I'm happy
when you're happy,
327
00:12:40,311 --> 00:12:42,037
you should be happy
when I'm happy.
328
00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:43,659
But, mom, you're
making a mistake.
329
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,833
This is my life!
330
00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:46,144
Well, maybe... Whoa!
331
00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:58,950
Look, Patrick happens
to be one terrific guy.
332
00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:00,952
Mom, when he's 60,
you'll be 80.
333
00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:04,645
Look, I'm not marrying him.
I'm only sleeping with him!
334
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,509
Hey, hey, hey!
335
00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:09,340
If you do marry him,
when he's 80,
you'll be 100.
336
00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:11,204
[THERESA SPUTTERS]
Whoa! Whoa!
337
00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:14,966
JAMIE: When he's 96,
you'll be 116.
338
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:22,249
When he's 320,
you're gonna be 340.
339
00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:25,011
Now that should be the
worst problem in my life
that I ever have,
340
00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:28,842
that I'm a 340-year-old woman
dating a younger man.
341
00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,947
All right. Mom...
342
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:32,294
What is it you want
me to do, Jamie, huh?
343
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:36,885
Do you want me to go home
and sit in my room alone
for the next 290 years?
344
00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:40,371
No, no, no.
Of course not, no.
345
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,028
Well, all right.
346
00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:43,892
I'm sorry.
347
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,239
It's okay.
348
00:13:46,377 --> 00:13:49,829
Um, Patrick, I'd like
to apologize to you
as well.
349
00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:55,179
Hold that notion
for a moment
if you would, Jamie.
350
00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:56,249
It's, uh,
curtain-call time.
351
00:13:56,387 --> 00:13:57,837
Oh, sure. Fine.
Is that all right?
352
00:13:57,975 --> 00:13:59,286
Oh, go,
go, go.
353
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:04,636
Should we...
354
00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:15,544
Okay. Okay,
okay, okay.
355
00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,616
[MABEL STARTS CRYING]
Oh, oh, oh,
I know that sound.
356
00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:19,893
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
357
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:22,309
Oh, and I also
know that, sadly,
358
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:24,001
Mommy doesn't knock.
359
00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:27,901
Oh, please, let it be
a soliciting wet nurse.
360
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,593
Uh...
361
00:14:30,731 --> 00:14:32,975
Boy, they played
their little hearts out,
Paulie.
362
00:14:33,113 --> 00:14:34,149
I really felt for 'em,
you know,
363
00:14:34,287 --> 00:14:35,875
but they'll always be
champions to me.
364
00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,049
Hey, you got change
for a 50?
365
00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,362
I got a big problem here.
What?
366
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,778
Baby is starving.
Jamie's not home yet.
367
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,262
So what's the big deal?
Give her a bottle.
368
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,162
Oh, you don't understand
a thing, do you?
369
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,819
It's a very big deal.
We've never given her
a bottle.
370
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,166
Haven't given her
a bottle ever.
371
00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:52,305
And, you know,
for Jamie,
372
00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:53,858
emotionally,
that's a big step.
373
00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:54,928
[MABEL CRYING]
Yeah.
374
00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,103
Okay, okay. You wanna
go back in here?
375
00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,449
Okay, okay.
376
00:14:58,587 --> 00:14:59,588
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
You just...
All right.
377
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:00,796
Well, you know...
378
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,075
Sweetie, if I could lactate,
you'd be so happy.
379
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,628
And I'd be in a circus.
380
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,287
Oh! Fixer!
IRA: What?
381
00:15:09,425 --> 00:15:10,392
Corrupter!
382
00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:11,841
I don't know
what you're
talking about.
383
00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,533
Don't you lie
to me, fixer!
I saw you smirking
384
00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:15,776
after every
Red Wing goal.
Didn't!
385
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,020
I saw you
high-fiving Marvin.
Wouldn't!
386
00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,366
I saw you
take that
wad of money
387
00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,472
from the father
from the other team.
388
00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,543
You saw that,
did you?
Fixer!
389
00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:25,959
All right, Frannie, come on.
We apologize. We really do.
390
00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,305
We?
Yeah, Paulie,
Marvin and I,
391
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,031
we've made
a horrible mistake.
Hey!
392
00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,723
You?
A father,
in on it?!
393
00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:33,449
No. No!
You ruiner, you!
394
00:15:33,587 --> 00:15:35,313
You adverse
influencer!
395
00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,039
Okay. First of all,
you calm down.
396
00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:39,973
And also, by the way,
you're a heck of a guy.
397
00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:42,493
Boys, do you have something
to say to the two Mr. Buchmans?
398
00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:45,323
[IN UNISON]
Thank you,
Mr. Buchmans.
399
00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,153
No, no,
the other thing!
400
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:50,432
Tell the two Mr. Buchmans
how disillusioned you are.
401
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:54,539
[IN UNISON]
Our hearts are broken,
Mr. Buchmans.
402
00:15:57,197 --> 00:15:58,164
I hope
it was worth it.
403
00:15:58,302 --> 00:15:59,372
Fran, I...
Frannie, please...
404
00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:02,513
Don't even try it.
I break with thee.
405
00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:04,618
Both of thee.
[MABEL CRYING]
406
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,551
And for God's sake,
that baby's hungry.
Feed her.
407
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:09,623
Frannie, before
you break with me,
one quick question.
408
00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,591
Jamie's late,
so do you think...
409
00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:14,042
Do you think
it would be okay if,
without asking her first
410
00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:16,872
I gave the baby the bottle
for the first time?
411
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,184
You're gonna do that?
412
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,048
I'm thinking I might.
413
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:22,257
It's a good idea.
414
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,064
P.A.: Ladies and gentlemen,
415
00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:38,135
commuter service
will be temporarily delayed
416
00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:40,551
due to the visit
of Vice President Al Gore.
417
00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:42,070
God!
418
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:43,416
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.
419
00:16:43,554 --> 00:16:44,865
My kid is hungry.
420
00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:48,904
No, no, no.
I'm nursing.
421
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,250
My daughter's at home,
and she's hungry.
422
00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:51,976
Oh, man.
How old?
423
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:53,150
Three Months.
424
00:16:53,288 --> 00:16:54,496
You know,
you really
should consider
425
00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:56,670
introducing
the bottle.
426
00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,120
Okay, you know...
You know
I'm just saying,
427
00:16:58,258 --> 00:17:00,467
three months,
at a certain point,
you gotta cut the cord.
428
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,264
And the last time
you gave birth
would be when?
429
00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:11,340
By the way,
five across
is not "Gridma."
430
00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,349
All right,
all right, all right.
431
00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:21,833
"What to do
if your baby
is hungry
432
00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:23,214
"and your wife said
she'd be home in an hour
433
00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:24,940
"and turns out
she's a big fat liar."
434
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:27,839
Amazingly,
they don't have that.
435
00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:29,876
Paulie, books suck.
436
00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:35,192
You know what,
give me the phone.
437
00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:36,469
All right,
here we go.
438
00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:38,988
Let her suck on your finger,
'cause it pacifies her.
439
00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:40,162
Are you serious?
440
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,577
No, that's
a big prank.
441
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:44,097
[SKEPTICAL]
Okay.
442
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:47,204
Wow! She could
take my arm off
at the elbow.
443
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,898
Hello.
PAUL: Hey, Pop.
444
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:53,141
Hey, it's me.
Is mom there?
445
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,971
No, she's at the damn
pottery barn again.
446
00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,181
Okay, this is really more
of a mom question.
447
00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:02,081
Club soda,
and feather it
with a tissue.
448
00:18:04,324 --> 00:18:07,016
Uh, no, I don't think
that's gonna work here.
449
00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:09,778
Here's the problem:
Jamie's not home yet,
the baby's hungry.
450
00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,124
And we've never given her
the bottle yet,
451
00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:12,401
and Jamie really
wants it that way,
452
00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:13,851
so I don't even know
what I'm supposed to do.
453
00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,266
Feed her.
454
00:18:15,404 --> 00:18:17,096
You think?
Let me tell you
a little story.
455
00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:20,996
Your mother was dead set
against getting
an electric can opener.
456
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,309
Dead set. It was
the antichrist to her.
457
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:24,758
PAUL: Yeah.
I bought it.
458
00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,898
She never even noticed it.
459
00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:28,797
Pop, you're
a very smart man.
460
00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:30,730
Sure.
Okay, thanks, bye.
461
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:32,180
[PHONE BEEPS]
462
00:18:32,318 --> 00:18:33,629
All right,
you know what?
463
00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:35,424
You watch the baby.
I'm gonna make
the formula.
464
00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:38,600
This is amazing.
She can totally
hang from my finger.
465
00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,302
For God's sake.
466
00:18:57,412 --> 00:18:59,552
What goes in first,
the powder or the water?
467
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:00,967
Huh? The water,
the water,
468
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,313
'cause you gotta
stir the water
469
00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:04,108
while you
add in the powder.
470
00:19:04,246 --> 00:19:05,765
Just dump it in first.
471
00:19:05,903 --> 00:19:07,318
Paulie,
what smells, huh?
472
00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,802
That's this.
That's what
it smells like.
473
00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,011
That can't be right.
Everything for
a baby smells good.
474
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,944
What... What's
the expiration date?
475
00:19:13,082 --> 00:19:14,118
No, that's exactly
476
00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:15,568
how it's
supposed to smell.
477
00:19:15,706 --> 00:19:16,810
I...I read
about this.
478
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,157
Yeah?
Yeah, I know
what I'm doing.
479
00:19:18,295 --> 00:19:19,399
[MABEL FUSSING]
I know what I'm doing.
Yes, I do.
480
00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:20,814
Yes, I do.
How's the temperature?
481
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:21,953
Temperature?
Yeah?
482
00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:23,783
That's not bad.
Yeah? Taste it.
483
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,892
How is it?
484
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:30,997
You long
for the days
485
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,792
when you were
just smelling it.
486
00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:34,932
Okay. Here we go,
here we go.
487
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,140
We're gonna be
all right.
488
00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:38,867
Daddy has made
such a feast for you.
489
00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,249
Oh, my goodness,
a feast.
490
00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:42,560
It's gonna be
all right.
491
00:19:42,698 --> 00:19:44,113
It's gonna be
a little different,
492
00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:45,391
but it's gonna
be all right.
493
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:46,702
Paulie, are you
sure about this?
Yes.
494
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,532
Really?
Yes. Would you
shut up?
495
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,050
My child is hungry,
and I'm gonna feed her.
496
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,949
Just... Just sit down
and don't talk.
497
00:19:52,087 --> 00:19:53,951
All right.
Okay, here we go.
Here we go.
498
00:19:54,089 --> 00:19:55,573
All right. Look what
daddy made for you.
499
00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:57,334
It's Father's milk.
500
00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:01,648
Try it. You might like it.
501
00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:02,753
You might like it.
502
00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:03,892
Yeah.
503
00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:06,826
Oh, look at that.
504
00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:07,965
Look at that.
505
00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,210
Ohh. This is great.
506
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:13,591
Can I do it?
507
00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:21,116
Could you possibly have
like the smallest sense
of the moment, please?
508
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,221
Sorry.
509
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:24,844
Yeah.
510
00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,121
That's my girl.
511
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,640
[DOOR OPENS]
512
00:20:27,778 --> 00:20:29,573
Ohhh, thank God.
513
00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:31,368
Sorry, but we were
really, really hungry.
514
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:32,541
Starving.
And so I'm sorry,
515
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:33,715
really sorry,
really sorry.
516
00:20:33,853 --> 00:20:35,510
Thank God
you did it.
Really?
517
00:20:35,648 --> 00:20:36,787
Well, looks like
she likes it.
518
00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:38,064
Yeah, okay, but now
that you're home...
519
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,100
No, no,
no, no.
520
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,861
Really?
Go ahead.
521
00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:43,966
You sure?
522
00:20:44,104 --> 00:20:45,416
You're doing great.
523
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:49,248
[CHUCKLES]
Okay.
524
00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:52,527
All right.
Mmm.
525
00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:56,116
Ow!
526
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,532
Ooh!
Kidding.
527
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:05,643
I'm just so glad
you're here,
528
00:21:05,781 --> 00:21:07,507
'cause I've wanted
shepherd's pie
529
00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:08,819
for, like,
five scenes now.
530
00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,717
I never got it,
don't know how to do it,
531
00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:12,547
So just... Thank you.
So, what do we do?
532
00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:13,720
Well, first
you add your suet.
533
00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:17,103
Suet. Okay.
There you go.
534
00:21:17,241 --> 00:21:18,449
Then you put in
your kidneys.
535
00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:19,588
Kidneys.
536
00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:22,004
Don't be shy.
Put 'em all in.
All right.
537
00:21:22,142 --> 00:21:23,178
Do you have
any more entrails?
538
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,662
PAUL: Entr...
JAMIE: I don't...
539
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,801
No, no entrails.
540
00:21:25,939 --> 00:21:27,286
All right. Then put
in the stick of butter.
541
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:29,771
Butter.
542
00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:32,360
Now you add
your gristle.
543
00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:34,396
Gristle?
Yes.
544
00:21:34,534 --> 00:21:36,398
Well, you're
the shepherd.
545
00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:39,781
[GOAT BLEATS]
546
00:22:34,663 --> 00:22:35,768
I'm just so glad
you're here,
547
00:22:35,906 --> 00:22:37,666
'cause I wanted
shepherd pie
548
00:22:37,804 --> 00:22:39,150
for, like,
five scenes now.
549
00:22:39,288 --> 00:22:40,945
I never got it,
and I don't know
how to do it,
550
00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:42,671
So just... Thank you.
So, what do we do?
551
00:22:42,809 --> 00:22:43,879
Well, first
you add your suet.
552
00:22:44,017 --> 00:22:45,778
Suet. Okay.
553
00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:47,227
There you go.
554
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,608
Then you put
in your kidneys.
555
00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:49,782
Kidneys.
556
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,163
Don't be shy.
Put 'em all in.
All right.
557
00:22:52,301 --> 00:22:53,613
Do you have any
more entrails?
558
00:22:53,751 --> 00:22:54,856
Entr...
I don't...
559
00:22:54,994 --> 00:22:55,995
No, no entrails.
560
00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:57,376
All right. Then put
in the stick of butter.
561
00:22:58,998 --> 00:22:59,999
Butter.
562
00:23:00,137 --> 00:23:02,657
Now, you add
your gristle.
563
00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:04,452
Gristle?
Yes.
564
00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,385
Well, you're
the shepherd.
565
00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:09,526
[GOAT BLEATS]
39547
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