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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,763 --> 00:00:09,319 "And all of the animals stopped and listened to the wonderful sound. 2 00:00:09,457 --> 00:00:11,666 "They had never heard anything so beautiful. 3 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,910 "It was a special day in the forest. 4 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:18,363 "It was the day Billy the Bullfrog got back his croak. 5 00:00:19,122 --> 00:00:20,641 "The end." 6 00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:22,574 Huh? What do you think of that story? 7 00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:23,747 [FART] 8 00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,370 [SNIFFING] 9 00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:32,170 Ew! Next time, just a little thumbs down will do fine. 10 00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:45,459 ♪ Mmm mmm mmm 11 00:00:46,908 --> 00:00:51,120 ♪ Tell me why I love you like I do 12 00:00:51,258 --> 00:00:54,261 ♪ Tell me who can stop my heart 13 00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:56,021 ♪ As much as you 14 00:00:56,159 --> 00:01:00,129 ♪ Tell me all your secrets I'll tell you most of mine 15 00:01:00,267 --> 00:01:02,062 ♪ They say nobody's perfect 16 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:04,443 ♪ Well, that's really true this time 17 00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,480 ♪ 'Cause I don't have the answers 18 00:01:06,618 --> 00:01:08,585 ♪ I don't have a plan 19 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,794 ♪ All I have is you, So, baby 20 00:01:10,932 --> 00:01:12,486 ♪ Help me understand 21 00:01:12,624 --> 00:01:14,488 ♪ What we do 22 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,490 ♪ You can whisper in my ear 23 00:01:16,628 --> 00:01:18,630 ♪ Where we go 24 00:01:18,768 --> 00:01:21,150 ♪ Who knows what happens after here? 25 00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:23,359 ♪ Let's take each other's hand 26 00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:26,672 ♪ And jump into the final frontier 27 00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,054 ♪ Ah ha ha 28 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:36,855 Okay, why? 29 00:01:36,993 --> 00:01:38,753 Why would Al Gore come to New York City 30 00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,859 When he knows all it's gonna do is screw up traffic 31 00:01:40,997 --> 00:01:42,343 and make everybody angry at him? 32 00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:43,586 He's gonna be on Conan. 33 00:01:45,346 --> 00:01:47,659 Oh, that's right. Plugging the new Al Gore cologne. 34 00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:50,903 Come on. We should leave early 35 00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:52,215 if we want to make it on time to the restaurant. 36 00:01:52,353 --> 00:01:53,320 Right. 37 00:01:54,321 --> 00:01:56,495 I wonder what this new "boyfriend" is like 38 00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:57,565 your mother wants us to meet. 39 00:01:57,703 --> 00:01:59,222 He is not her "boyfriend". 40 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,224 At no time did she use the word "boyfriend". 41 00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,295 She called him her "Gentleman friend". 42 00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:05,090 Gentleman friend? 43 00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,402 So, in other words, they're not, like... 44 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,611 Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't do that. 45 00:02:10,406 --> 00:02:13,374 [MABEL COOING] 46 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:20,312 There's tuna salad. 47 00:02:21,589 --> 00:02:22,763 No, no, thank you. 48 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,730 I... I was just... just wondering. 49 00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:26,491 What? 50 00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,113 How close you are to, you know, 51 00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:30,874 using the bottle at all, to any degree? 52 00:02:31,012 --> 00:02:32,013 Soon. 53 00:02:32,462 --> 00:02:33,463 'Cause... 54 00:02:33,601 --> 00:02:35,983 I know soon, but, like... Like when? 55 00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,088 Like soon. I don't wanna give this up. 56 00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:39,469 I love this. 57 00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:41,195 Who's saying give it up? I would never say give it up. 58 00:02:41,333 --> 00:02:42,714 I'm saying... Augment. 59 00:02:42,852 --> 00:02:43,956 Augment. 60 00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:45,855 The bottle in addition to the breast. 61 00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:47,443 Yes, but once they get ahold of the bottle, 62 00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:49,410 some babies lose interest in the breast. 63 00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:51,309 She'd have to be nuts. 64 00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:56,210 I would miss this time with her so much. 65 00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:58,212 It's just sweet, intimate... 66 00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,317 Ow! 67 00:03:01,871 --> 00:03:03,459 Even so. 68 00:03:03,597 --> 00:03:05,633 It's just, you know, when I see you feeding her, 69 00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,014 you guys... you're so close. 70 00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:10,086 You're close to her. You change her, you clean her. 71 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,985 I'm close to the bottom of her. 72 00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:16,748 I'd like to be close to the top of her. 73 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,577 I want some action on the way in. 74 00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,270 Soon. 75 00:03:21,408 --> 00:03:23,513 'Cause, you know, nutritionally, the bottle is fine. 76 00:03:23,651 --> 00:03:24,583 I know. Soon. 77 00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:26,344 [MABEL COOING] 78 00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:27,897 Plus, you'd be able to keep, you know, your clothes on in public, 79 00:03:28,035 --> 00:03:29,174 Which we used to enjoy. 80 00:03:30,865 --> 00:03:32,660 Soon. 81 00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:35,215 Okay. But you're definitely gonna do it, right? 82 00:03:35,353 --> 00:03:36,319 Soon. 83 00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:40,944 In India, a hurricane might be called a mon... 84 00:03:41,082 --> 00:03:42,222 Soon. Soon, yes. 85 00:03:48,366 --> 00:03:49,263 Can you believe it? She... She won't even 86 00:03:49,401 --> 00:03:50,885 let me feed my own child. 87 00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,162 Don't you understand? 88 00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:54,095 As far as the kid is concerned, you are done. 89 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,235 Okay? 90 00:03:55,614 --> 00:03:57,202 Finished. 91 00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:59,066 I mean, from now on, you are just the guy who sits in the chair 92 00:03:59,204 --> 00:04:00,688 and smells increasingly odd 93 00:04:00,826 --> 00:04:02,069 as the years go by. 94 00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:05,175 Everybody, say hello to Mr. Buchman. 95 00:04:05,314 --> 00:04:06,591 Hey-hey. 96 00:04:06,729 --> 00:04:08,696 [IN UNISON] Hi, Mr. Buchman. 97 00:04:08,834 --> 00:04:10,284 Hello, team. How are you doing? 98 00:04:10,422 --> 00:04:12,459 Oh, everybody say, thank you, Mr. Buchman. 99 00:04:12,597 --> 00:04:14,944 [IN UNISON] Thank you, Mr. Buchman. 100 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:16,186 [CHUCKLES] What is this? 101 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:19,189 Paulie, I give you the Turtle Bay Rangers, 102 00:04:19,328 --> 00:04:20,812 newest entry in the midtown 103 00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:22,020 Youth Hockey League, 104 00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:23,263 Sponsored by... 105 00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:26,542 [IN UNISON] Buchman's sporting goods. 106 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,164 Well, that's so cool. 107 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,339 Yeah. They've come here for their last-minute pep talk. 108 00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:32,444 Oh. From you, of course, Mr. Hockey. 109 00:04:34,343 --> 00:04:35,275 All right, men. 110 00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:36,862 In just a short while, 111 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,279 you will be faced with the greatest athletic challenge 112 00:04:39,417 --> 00:04:40,763 of your young lives 113 00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,799 against your sworn enemy, 114 00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:44,353 The Murray Hill Red Wings. 115 00:04:44,491 --> 00:04:46,009 Now, each of you may be wondering 116 00:04:46,147 --> 00:04:47,217 how you're gonna hold up 117 00:04:47,356 --> 00:04:48,322 in the heat of the battle. 118 00:04:48,460 --> 00:04:50,807 Well, until that opening face-off, 119 00:04:50,945 --> 00:04:52,499 you cannot know for sure. 120 00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:55,709 So what I want to tell you is this: 121 00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:58,505 You do what you feel. 122 00:04:58,643 --> 00:04:59,575 Okay? 123 00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:02,267 If you're tired, slow down. 124 00:05:02,612 --> 00:05:03,579 Huh? 125 00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:05,995 If you're afraid of the puck, run away. 126 00:05:07,203 --> 00:05:09,481 And, if you feel like giving up, remember: 127 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:11,172 Sometimes you really should. 128 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,760 All right? All right! 129 00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:15,211 Let's go out there and play some hockey! All right? 130 00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,626 Ice cream if you lose! 131 00:05:16,764 --> 00:05:18,076 [IN UNISON] Yay! 132 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:21,493 "Ice cream if you lose"? 133 00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:23,461 I was just being realistic. 134 00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:26,256 You could've held out the possibility that they could win. 135 00:05:26,395 --> 00:05:27,672 What, have you ever seen them play? 136 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,609 That is very generous of you 137 00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:35,335 that you would sponsor the kids like that. 138 00:05:35,473 --> 00:05:37,371 Eh, well, believe me... [LAUGHS] 139 00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:39,373 I'll get my investment back. 140 00:05:39,511 --> 00:05:40,788 Why? What does that mean? 141 00:05:40,926 --> 00:05:42,100 Well, you know, nothin'. It's just... 142 00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:44,033 It's good advertising, plus... 143 00:05:44,171 --> 00:05:45,172 Plus what? 144 00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:46,691 Nothin'. 145 00:05:48,693 --> 00:05:49,970 What? 146 00:05:50,108 --> 00:05:52,559 Paulie, let's just say that if the Rangers lose, 147 00:05:52,697 --> 00:05:53,663 I win. 148 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:01,982 Did you fix a youth hockey game? 149 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,295 Come on, they're gonna lose anyway. 150 00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,228 Only one of 'em can actually skate, 151 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,715 and then only in a big circle to his left. 152 00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,718 Hey, boss, what's the spread on the kids' hockey game? 153 00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:16,721 Oh, and what a fine influence you are on others. 154 00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,206 Hey, everybody. Hiya. 155 00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:20,759 There's my girls. 156 00:06:20,897 --> 00:06:22,899 Sorry we're late. Miserable traffic. 157 00:06:23,037 --> 00:06:23,969 Yeah, well, you know, 158 00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,557 Al Gore, king of late night. 159 00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:26,731 [MABEL FUSSING] 160 00:06:26,869 --> 00:06:28,042 We tried 6th, 8th, 161 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,181 10th, 12th, 162 00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:31,149 the west side highway... All jammed. 163 00:06:31,287 --> 00:06:33,945 Just miserable masses of people... 164 00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:35,567 Honey. What? 165 00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:37,914 Not... Not in the stockroom. 166 00:06:39,226 --> 00:06:41,780 Sweetie, when my breasts hear a crying child, 167 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:43,679 which they have since 14th street, 168 00:06:43,817 --> 00:06:45,405 very quickly the bar is open. 169 00:06:45,543 --> 00:06:47,993 Yeah, but she just ate before. 170 00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:50,340 I'm breastfeeding my child. Would you get over yourself? 171 00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:51,687 Ow! 172 00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:52,929 Paulie... 173 00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,448 Jamie should feel completely comfortable 174 00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:55,932 breastfeeding around me. 175 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,418 Oh. 176 00:06:59,695 --> 00:07:01,697 Okay. Admit. Come on, admit it. 177 00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:03,388 This makes you crazy. 178 00:07:03,526 --> 00:07:05,701 You don't know whether you should be embarrassed 179 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,392 or aroused or thirsty. 180 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:10,430 You don't even know where to put your eyes. 181 00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:11,879 Admit it. Do it. 182 00:07:12,017 --> 00:07:13,985 It doesn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. 183 00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:15,400 Get get... You're a big liar. 184 00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,608 Marvin, come on. 185 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:17,989 You, Marvin, who lives with your mother. 186 00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,956 This... 187 00:07:20,094 --> 00:07:21,682 This has gotta make you crazy, doesn't it? 188 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,063 Not at all. 189 00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:26,307 As a matter of fact, I find it very calming and healthy. 190 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,516 All right. You know what? 191 00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,827 Just do something else, will ya? Get outta here. 192 00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,691 Uncle Ira, I forgot my cup. 193 00:07:30,829 --> 00:07:32,244 Oh, hey, don't look there. Don't look... 194 00:07:32,382 --> 00:07:33,970 Don't look, don't look there. 195 00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,248 What? The kid's gotta eat. 196 00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:39,113 Yeah. Okay. 197 00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:42,082 You know what? 198 00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:44,256 You don't fool me, none of you. 199 00:07:50,711 --> 00:07:51,850 One little burp 200 00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:54,197 while mommy puts her bosoms away. 201 00:07:55,751 --> 00:07:56,752 [MABEL BURPS] 202 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,202 It's the knicks by five at the half. 203 00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,860 THERESA: Hi! Hey, Mom. 204 00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:04,242 [CHUCKLES] Hi. Where's my granddaughter? 205 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,415 Where is she? 206 00:08:05,554 --> 00:08:06,486 Look who's here. 207 00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:08,488 Oh, hello, sweetheart. 208 00:08:08,626 --> 00:08:09,972 Look how big she's getting. 209 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,456 She's so beautiful. 210 00:08:11,594 --> 00:08:13,182 Could we have some ice water for the table, please? 211 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,390 [IRISH ACCENT] I beg your pardon. 212 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:15,840 Uh, some ice water and some breadsticks, please. 213 00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:18,014 I'd love to help you, if only I worked here. 214 00:08:19,084 --> 00:08:20,154 Patrick, come here. 215 00:08:21,949 --> 00:08:23,537 THERESA: Look at that... 216 00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:26,885 Look at that face. Did you ever see anything so beautiful? 217 00:08:27,023 --> 00:08:29,198 So you're not the waiter? 218 00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:30,302 Waiter? 219 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,616 Oh, no, honey. This is Patrick. 220 00:08:33,754 --> 00:08:36,654 Patrick, this is my daughter Jamie and my son-in-law Paul. 221 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:37,793 Oh, pleasure to meet you. 222 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,104 The gentleman friend. 223 00:08:39,242 --> 00:08:40,485 Guilty as charged. 224 00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:42,936 I-I-I-I-I... 225 00:08:43,074 --> 00:08:44,109 Not at all. 226 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:45,732 Well, we'd better order. 227 00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,561 Patrick has to get to a matinee. 228 00:08:47,699 --> 00:08:49,563 Oh, what are you going to see? 229 00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,116 Oh, no, no, no. 230 00:08:51,254 --> 00:08:52,532 He's in the matinee. 231 00:08:53,671 --> 00:08:55,258 He's in Lord of the Dance. 232 00:08:56,846 --> 00:08:58,158 You're a Lord of the Dance dancer. 233 00:08:58,296 --> 00:09:00,574 And I might add, the very best one in the show. 234 00:09:00,712 --> 00:09:01,886 Oh, come now. 235 00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:03,508 No, you are. 236 00:09:03,646 --> 00:09:05,959 Frankly... he's better than the Lord. 237 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,550 Theresa, please. No, well, you are. 238 00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:13,345 I mean, the Lord is a good dancer, 239 00:09:13,483 --> 00:09:15,071 but you're a better one. 240 00:09:15,209 --> 00:09:16,556 Better dancer than the Lord. 241 00:09:17,487 --> 00:09:18,765 Are you familiar with the show? 242 00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,180 Oh, it's got wonderful staging 243 00:09:20,318 --> 00:09:22,423 and brilliant stories, lovely music. 244 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,047 Yeah, it's supposed to be, like, magically delicious. 245 00:09:26,427 --> 00:09:27,567 But, uh, we couldn't get tickets. 246 00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,016 Oh, well, you can now. 247 00:09:29,154 --> 00:09:30,880 Quite so. I'll see to it. 248 00:09:31,018 --> 00:09:32,986 A dancer? THERESA: Uh-huh. 249 00:09:33,124 --> 00:09:35,713 He's a dancer. I was a dancer. 250 00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,197 [LAUGHS] I mean... 251 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:38,957 Look at us. What are the odds? 252 00:09:39,095 --> 00:09:40,476 I would say long. 253 00:09:42,305 --> 00:09:43,859 I'd say the odds were long. 254 00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:45,239 Sweetie. Yeah, what? 255 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,931 I'm starving. What looks good here? 256 00:09:47,069 --> 00:09:49,589 You know what I think you'd enjoy here, love, is the shepherd's pie. 257 00:09:49,727 --> 00:09:50,900 THERESA: Shepherd's pie. Mm-hmm. 258 00:09:51,038 --> 00:09:52,177 Sounds Irish. 259 00:09:52,315 --> 00:09:53,351 And good. 260 00:09:53,489 --> 00:09:54,973 Oh, it's marvelous. 261 00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:57,355 It's marvelous. It's a real treat. 262 00:09:57,493 --> 00:09:59,081 And not just for the shepherd. 263 00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,772 [BOTH LAUGHING] 264 00:10:03,775 --> 00:10:05,225 Okay, so here's a question: 265 00:10:05,363 --> 00:10:07,020 Uh, how... How did you two meet? 266 00:10:07,158 --> 00:10:10,402 Well, he'd just finished doing the show... Well, I'd just finished... 267 00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:13,060 No, no, you tell it. No, you tell it. 268 00:10:13,198 --> 00:10:14,683 'Tis lovelier told by you. 269 00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,201 Oh, somebody tell it. 270 00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,998 All right. Well, I went to see the show... 271 00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:21,172 Uh, Lord of the Dance. 272 00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:22,242 THERESA: Lord of the Dance. 273 00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:24,071 And I found myself sitting there 274 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:26,487 absolutely enraptured. 275 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,903 "Enraptured"? 276 00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:28,973 Yes. 277 00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:30,664 "Enraptured." 278 00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:33,598 Yeah, so... So, Patrick, how long have you been in New York? 279 00:10:33,736 --> 00:10:36,014 Oh, six months. And you're here till... 280 00:10:36,152 --> 00:10:37,153 Indefinitely. 281 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:39,293 Oh. Aces. Sweetie... 282 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,019 So just so I understand this, 283 00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:43,539 You two would be what? The phrase would be what? 284 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:44,954 You're dating? 285 00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:46,646 Courting? 286 00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:47,716 Kidding? 287 00:10:48,544 --> 00:10:49,752 Sweetie, you know... 288 00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:50,960 Did you know 289 00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:53,687 that Patrick was voted all-county dancer 290 00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,275 when he was only five years old? 291 00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:57,691 Really? And that was, like, what, ten years ago? 292 00:10:59,175 --> 00:11:00,590 Sweetie... What'd I say? 293 00:11:00,729 --> 00:11:02,006 Jamie, don't start. 294 00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:04,284 What? What did I say? I just said he was young. 295 00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:05,665 That's enough. Have I insulted you? 296 00:11:05,803 --> 00:11:07,425 It's not an insult to say you're a young man. 297 00:11:07,563 --> 00:11:08,771 That's more than enough. 298 00:11:08,909 --> 00:11:11,325 What? You're having a December-May romance. 299 00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:12,499 PAUL: Sweetie. 300 00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:15,191 Or in this case December-early March, but... 301 00:11:15,329 --> 00:11:16,330 Bingo! 302 00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:18,850 Let's go, Patrick. 303 00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:21,784 You just couldn't help yourself, could you? 304 00:11:21,922 --> 00:11:23,993 The shepherd's pie. Maybe we'll get some shepherd's pie. 305 00:11:24,131 --> 00:11:26,616 Oh, now, why would you want to go and do a thing like that? 306 00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:36,523 Well, we can forget about those free tickets now, Ollie. 307 00:11:44,186 --> 00:11:46,809 [CELTIC MUSIC PLAYING] 308 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:54,886 Mom? 309 00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:56,577 Mom. 310 00:11:57,958 --> 00:11:59,995 What? You're not speaking to me now? 311 00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,859 I'm old. I can't hear you. 312 00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:02,963 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 313 00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,002 [SIGHS IN RELIEF] Oh, hi, Jamie. 314 00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,175 Hi, Patrick. 315 00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:09,487 Don't you talk to him. 316 00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,283 And off. And one, two, three, four. 317 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:20,084 Mom, I'm sorry, but what are you doing, 318 00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:22,396 dating a guy the square root of your age? 319 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,191 And just who are you to judge me? 320 00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,261 I'm your daughter. 321 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:26,504 PATRICK: And one... 322 00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:32,130 Listen, Missy, 323 00:12:32,268 --> 00:12:34,029 I don't need your approval. 324 00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,099 Of course you do. 325 00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:36,686 No, I don't. 326 00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:40,173 I just assumed that since I'm happy when you're happy, 327 00:12:40,311 --> 00:12:42,037 you should be happy when I'm happy. 328 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:43,659 But, mom, you're making a mistake. 329 00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:44,833 This is my life! 330 00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:46,144 Well, maybe... Whoa! 331 00:12:55,395 --> 00:12:58,950 Look, Patrick happens to be one terrific guy. 332 00:12:59,088 --> 00:13:00,952 Mom, when he's 60, you'll be 80. 333 00:13:01,090 --> 00:13:04,645 Look, I'm not marrying him. I'm only sleeping with him! 334 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,509 Hey, hey, hey! 335 00:13:06,647 --> 00:13:09,340 If you do marry him, when he's 80, you'll be 100. 336 00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:11,204 [THERESA SPUTTERS] Whoa! Whoa! 337 00:13:12,136 --> 00:13:14,966 JAMIE: When he's 96, you'll be 116. 338 00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:22,249 When he's 320, you're gonna be 340. 339 00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:25,011 Now that should be the worst problem in my life that I ever have, 340 00:13:25,149 --> 00:13:28,842 that I'm a 340-year-old woman dating a younger man. 341 00:13:28,980 --> 00:13:29,947 All right. Mom... 342 00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:32,294 What is it you want me to do, Jamie, huh? 343 00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:36,885 Do you want me to go home and sit in my room alone for the next 290 years? 344 00:13:37,023 --> 00:13:40,371 No, no, no. Of course not, no. 345 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,028 Well, all right. 346 00:13:42,925 --> 00:13:43,892 I'm sorry. 347 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,239 It's okay. 348 00:13:46,377 --> 00:13:49,829 Um, Patrick, I'd like to apologize to you as well. 349 00:13:52,693 --> 00:13:55,179 Hold that notion for a moment if you would, Jamie. 350 00:13:55,317 --> 00:13:56,249 It's, uh, curtain-call time. 351 00:13:56,387 --> 00:13:57,837 Oh, sure. Fine. Is that all right? 352 00:13:57,975 --> 00:13:59,286 Oh, go, go, go. 353 00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:04,636 Should we... 354 00:14:13,162 --> 00:14:15,544 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 355 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,616 [MABEL STARTS CRYING] Oh, oh, oh, I know that sound. 356 00:14:18,754 --> 00:14:19,893 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 357 00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:22,309 Oh, and I also know that, sadly, 358 00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:24,001 Mommy doesn't knock. 359 00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:27,901 Oh, please, let it be a soliciting wet nurse. 360 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,593 Uh... 361 00:14:30,731 --> 00:14:32,975 Boy, they played their little hearts out, Paulie. 362 00:14:33,113 --> 00:14:34,149 I really felt for 'em, you know, 363 00:14:34,287 --> 00:14:35,875 but they'll always be champions to me. 364 00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,049 Hey, you got change for a 50? 365 00:14:38,187 --> 00:14:40,362 I got a big problem here. What? 366 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,778 Baby is starving. Jamie's not home yet. 367 00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,262 So what's the big deal? Give her a bottle. 368 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,162 Oh, you don't understand a thing, do you? 369 00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,819 It's a very big deal. We've never given her a bottle. 370 00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,166 Haven't given her a bottle ever. 371 00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:52,305 And, you know, for Jamie, 372 00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:53,858 emotionally, that's a big step. 373 00:14:53,996 --> 00:14:54,928 [MABEL CRYING] Yeah. 374 00:14:55,066 --> 00:14:57,103 Okay, okay. You wanna go back in here? 375 00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,449 Okay, okay. 376 00:14:58,587 --> 00:14:59,588 [DOORBELL BUZZES] You just... All right. 377 00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:00,796 Well, you know... 378 00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,075 Sweetie, if I could lactate, you'd be so happy. 379 00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,628 And I'd be in a circus. 380 00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:09,287 Oh! Fixer! IRA: What? 381 00:15:09,425 --> 00:15:10,392 Corrupter! 382 00:15:10,530 --> 00:15:11,841 I don't know what you're talking about. 383 00:15:11,980 --> 00:15:13,533 Don't you lie to me, fixer! I saw you smirking 384 00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:15,776 after every Red Wing goal. Didn't! 385 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,020 I saw you high-fiving Marvin. Wouldn't! 386 00:15:18,158 --> 00:15:19,366 I saw you take that wad of money 387 00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,472 from the father from the other team. 388 00:15:21,610 --> 00:15:23,543 You saw that, did you? Fixer! 389 00:15:23,681 --> 00:15:25,959 All right, Frannie, come on. We apologize. We really do. 390 00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,305 We? Yeah, Paulie, Marvin and I, 391 00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,031 we've made a horrible mistake. Hey! 392 00:15:29,169 --> 00:15:31,723 You? A father, in on it?! 393 00:15:31,861 --> 00:15:33,449 No. No! You ruiner, you! 394 00:15:33,587 --> 00:15:35,313 You adverse influencer! 395 00:15:35,451 --> 00:15:37,039 Okay. First of all, you calm down. 396 00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:39,973 And also, by the way, you're a heck of a guy. 397 00:15:40,111 --> 00:15:42,493 Boys, do you have something to say to the two Mr. Buchmans? 398 00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:45,323 [IN UNISON] Thank you, Mr. Buchmans. 399 00:15:45,461 --> 00:15:47,153 No, no, the other thing! 400 00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:50,432 Tell the two Mr. Buchmans how disillusioned you are. 401 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:54,539 [IN UNISON] Our hearts are broken, Mr. Buchmans. 402 00:15:57,197 --> 00:15:58,164 I hope it was worth it. 403 00:15:58,302 --> 00:15:59,372 Fran, I... Frannie, please... 404 00:15:59,510 --> 00:16:02,513 Don't even try it. I break with thee. 405 00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:04,618 Both of thee. [MABEL CRYING] 406 00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,551 And for God's sake, that baby's hungry. Feed her. 407 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:09,623 Frannie, before you break with me, one quick question. 408 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:11,591 Jamie's late, so do you think... 409 00:16:11,729 --> 00:16:14,042 Do you think it would be okay if, without asking her first 410 00:16:14,180 --> 00:16:16,872 I gave the baby the bottle for the first time? 411 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,184 You're gonna do that? 412 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,048 I'm thinking I might. 413 00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:22,257 It's a good idea. 414 00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,064 P.A.: Ladies and gentlemen, 415 00:16:36,202 --> 00:16:38,135 commuter service will be temporarily delayed 416 00:16:38,273 --> 00:16:40,551 due to the visit of Vice President Al Gore. 417 00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:42,070 God! 418 00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:43,416 Are you okay? Oh, yeah. 419 00:16:43,554 --> 00:16:44,865 My kid is hungry. 420 00:16:47,282 --> 00:16:48,904 No, no, no. I'm nursing. 421 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,250 My daughter's at home, and she's hungry. 422 00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:51,976 Oh, man. How old? 423 00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:53,150 Three Months. 424 00:16:53,288 --> 00:16:54,496 You know, you really should consider 425 00:16:54,634 --> 00:16:56,670 introducing the bottle. 426 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,120 Okay, you know... You know I'm just saying, 427 00:16:58,258 --> 00:17:00,467 three months, at a certain point, you gotta cut the cord. 428 00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,264 And the last time you gave birth would be when? 429 00:17:08,786 --> 00:17:11,340 By the way, five across is not "Gridma." 430 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,349 All right, all right, all right. 431 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:21,833 "What to do if your baby is hungry 432 00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:23,214 "and your wife said she'd be home in an hour 433 00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:24,940 "and turns out she's a big fat liar." 434 00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:27,839 Amazingly, they don't have that. 435 00:17:28,392 --> 00:17:29,876 Paulie, books suck. 436 00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:35,192 You know what, give me the phone. 437 00:17:35,330 --> 00:17:36,469 All right, here we go. 438 00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:38,988 Let her suck on your finger, 'cause it pacifies her. 439 00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:40,162 Are you serious? 440 00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,577 No, that's a big prank. 441 00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:44,097 [SKEPTICAL] Okay. 442 00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:47,204 Wow! She could take my arm off at the elbow. 443 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,898 Hello. PAUL: Hey, Pop. 444 00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:53,141 Hey, it's me. Is mom there? 445 00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,971 No, she's at the damn pottery barn again. 446 00:17:57,006 --> 00:17:59,181 Okay, this is really more of a mom question. 447 00:17:59,319 --> 00:18:02,081 Club soda, and feather it with a tissue. 448 00:18:04,324 --> 00:18:07,016 Uh, no, I don't think that's gonna work here. 449 00:18:07,155 --> 00:18:09,778 Here's the problem: Jamie's not home yet, the baby's hungry. 450 00:18:09,916 --> 00:18:11,124 And we've never given her the bottle yet, 451 00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:12,401 and Jamie really wants it that way, 452 00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:13,851 so I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. 453 00:18:13,989 --> 00:18:15,266 Feed her. 454 00:18:15,404 --> 00:18:17,096 You think? Let me tell you a little story. 455 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:20,996 Your mother was dead set against getting an electric can opener. 456 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:23,309 Dead set. It was the antichrist to her. 457 00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:24,758 PAUL: Yeah. I bought it. 458 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,898 She never even noticed it. 459 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:28,797 Pop, you're a very smart man. 460 00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:30,730 Sure. Okay, thanks, bye. 461 00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:32,180 [PHONE BEEPS] 462 00:18:32,318 --> 00:18:33,629 All right, you know what? 463 00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:35,424 You watch the baby. I'm gonna make the formula. 464 00:18:35,562 --> 00:18:38,600 This is amazing. She can totally hang from my finger. 465 00:18:49,438 --> 00:18:51,302 For God's sake. 466 00:18:57,412 --> 00:18:59,552 What goes in first, the powder or the water? 467 00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:00,967 Huh? The water, the water, 468 00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,313 'cause you gotta stir the water 469 00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:04,108 while you add in the powder. 470 00:19:04,246 --> 00:19:05,765 Just dump it in first. 471 00:19:05,903 --> 00:19:07,318 Paulie, what smells, huh? 472 00:19:07,456 --> 00:19:08,802 That's this. That's what it smells like. 473 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,011 That can't be right. Everything for a baby smells good. 474 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,944 What... What's the expiration date? 475 00:19:13,082 --> 00:19:14,118 No, that's exactly 476 00:19:14,256 --> 00:19:15,568 how it's supposed to smell. 477 00:19:15,706 --> 00:19:16,810 I...I read about this. 478 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,157 Yeah? Yeah, I know what I'm doing. 479 00:19:18,295 --> 00:19:19,399 [MABEL FUSSING] I know what I'm doing. Yes, I do. 480 00:19:19,537 --> 00:19:20,814 Yes, I do. How's the temperature? 481 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:21,953 Temperature? Yeah? 482 00:19:22,091 --> 00:19:23,783 That's not bad. Yeah? Taste it. 483 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:29,892 How is it? 484 00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:30,997 You long for the days 485 00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:32,792 when you were just smelling it. 486 00:19:32,930 --> 00:19:34,932 Okay. Here we go, here we go. 487 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,140 We're gonna be all right. 488 00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:38,867 Daddy has made such a feast for you. 489 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,249 Oh, my goodness, a feast. 490 00:19:41,387 --> 00:19:42,560 It's gonna be all right. 491 00:19:42,698 --> 00:19:44,113 It's gonna be a little different, 492 00:19:44,252 --> 00:19:45,391 but it's gonna be all right. 493 00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:46,702 Paulie, are you sure about this? Yes. 494 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,532 Really? Yes. Would you shut up? 495 00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,050 My child is hungry, and I'm gonna feed her. 496 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,949 Just... Just sit down and don't talk. 497 00:19:52,087 --> 00:19:53,951 All right. Okay, here we go. Here we go. 498 00:19:54,089 --> 00:19:55,573 All right. Look what daddy made for you. 499 00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:57,334 It's Father's milk. 500 00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:01,648 Try it. You might like it. 501 00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:02,753 You might like it. 502 00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:03,892 Yeah. 503 00:20:04,927 --> 00:20:06,826 Oh, look at that. 504 00:20:06,964 --> 00:20:07,965 Look at that. 505 00:20:09,484 --> 00:20:11,210 Ohh. This is great. 506 00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:13,591 Can I do it? 507 00:20:17,181 --> 00:20:21,116 Could you possibly have like the smallest sense of the moment, please? 508 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,221 Sorry. 509 00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:24,844 Yeah. 510 00:20:24,982 --> 00:20:26,121 That's my girl. 511 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,640 [DOOR OPENS] 512 00:20:27,778 --> 00:20:29,573 Ohhh, thank God. 513 00:20:29,711 --> 00:20:31,368 Sorry, but we were really, really hungry. 514 00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:32,541 Starving. And so I'm sorry, 515 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:33,715 really sorry, really sorry. 516 00:20:33,853 --> 00:20:35,510 Thank God you did it. Really? 517 00:20:35,648 --> 00:20:36,787 Well, looks like she likes it. 518 00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:38,064 Yeah, okay, but now that you're home... 519 00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,100 No, no, no, no. 520 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,861 Really? Go ahead. 521 00:20:42,517 --> 00:20:43,966 You sure? 522 00:20:44,104 --> 00:20:45,416 You're doing great. 523 00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:49,248 [CHUCKLES] Okay. 524 00:20:50,663 --> 00:20:52,527 All right. Mmm. 525 00:20:55,184 --> 00:20:56,116 Ow! 526 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,532 Ooh! Kidding. 527 00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:05,643 I'm just so glad you're here, 528 00:21:05,781 --> 00:21:07,507 'cause I've wanted shepherd's pie 529 00:21:07,645 --> 00:21:08,819 for, like, five scenes now. 530 00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,717 I never got it, don't know how to do it, 531 00:21:10,855 --> 00:21:12,547 So just... Thank you. So, what do we do? 532 00:21:12,685 --> 00:21:13,720 Well, first you add your suet. 533 00:21:13,858 --> 00:21:17,103 Suet. Okay. There you go. 534 00:21:17,241 --> 00:21:18,449 Then you put in your kidneys. 535 00:21:18,587 --> 00:21:19,588 Kidneys. 536 00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:22,004 Don't be shy. Put 'em all in. All right. 537 00:21:22,142 --> 00:21:23,178 Do you have any more entrails? 538 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,662 PAUL: Entr... JAMIE: I don't... 539 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,801 No, no entrails. 540 00:21:25,939 --> 00:21:27,286 All right. Then put in the stick of butter. 541 00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:29,771 Butter. 542 00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:32,360 Now you add your gristle. 543 00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:34,396 Gristle? Yes. 544 00:21:34,534 --> 00:21:36,398 Well, you're the shepherd. 545 00:21:38,435 --> 00:21:39,781 [GOAT BLEATS] 546 00:22:34,663 --> 00:22:35,768 I'm just so glad you're here, 547 00:22:35,906 --> 00:22:37,666 'cause I wanted shepherd pie 548 00:22:37,804 --> 00:22:39,150 for, like, five scenes now. 549 00:22:39,288 --> 00:22:40,945 I never got it, and I don't know how to do it, 550 00:22:41,083 --> 00:22:42,671 So just... Thank you. So, what do we do? 551 00:22:42,809 --> 00:22:43,879 Well, first you add your suet. 552 00:22:44,017 --> 00:22:45,778 Suet. Okay. 553 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:47,227 There you go. 554 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:48,608 Then you put in your kidneys. 555 00:22:48,746 --> 00:22:49,782 Kidneys. 556 00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,163 Don't be shy. Put 'em all in. All right. 557 00:22:52,301 --> 00:22:53,613 Do you have any more entrails? 558 00:22:53,751 --> 00:22:54,856 Entr... I don't... 559 00:22:54,994 --> 00:22:55,995 No, no entrails. 560 00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:57,376 All right. Then put in the stick of butter. 561 00:22:58,998 --> 00:22:59,999 Butter. 562 00:23:00,137 --> 00:23:02,657 Now, you add your gristle. 563 00:23:03,347 --> 00:23:04,452 Gristle? Yes. 564 00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,385 Well, you're the shepherd. 565 00:23:08,559 --> 00:23:09,526 [GOAT BLEATS] 39547

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