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1
00:00:04,866 --> 00:00:07,593
She's so tiny.
I know.
2
00:00:07,731 --> 00:00:09,802
I love the way
her little eyelids
flutter.
3
00:00:09,940 --> 00:00:11,563
Really cute.
4
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:14,117
Isn't she just
the most beautiful thing
in the world?
5
00:00:14,255 --> 00:00:15,532
She looks like her mother.
6
00:00:18,259 --> 00:00:19,226
That one.
7
00:00:20,158 --> 00:00:21,331
[STUTTERS] I know.
8
00:00:23,126 --> 00:00:25,370
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
9
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,311
Need any help?
10
00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:38,003
No, sir, you
have done enough.
11
00:00:38,141 --> 00:00:40,419
You have delivered
a child, so
12
00:00:40,557 --> 00:00:44,389
from now on,
all the pain
will be mine.
13
00:00:44,527 --> 00:00:46,011
Although, you know what?
If you could take this one.
14
00:00:46,149 --> 00:00:47,944
It's biting me like
you wouldn't believe.
15
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,741
Hey, little sweetie,
here we are.
16
00:00:51,879 --> 00:00:54,295
All right,
sweet darling,
17
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,539
welcome to your new home.
18
00:01:01,302 --> 00:01:02,614
It's usually
neater.
19
00:01:02,752 --> 00:01:04,236
Hi, how are you?
20
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:08,344
Look at all these
presents you got,
21
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:09,828
and that's just
for being born.
22
00:01:09,966 --> 00:01:11,243
You wait till
you do something.
23
00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:13,832
Wow.
24
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:14,902
What?
25
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,077
Just this, this,
the three of us.
26
00:01:17,215 --> 00:01:18,250
Hmm.
We're here.
27
00:01:18,388 --> 00:01:19,769
We're all here.
28
00:01:19,907 --> 00:01:20,908
Yes, we are.
29
00:01:22,392 --> 00:01:23,393
It's something, huh?
30
00:01:23,531 --> 00:01:24,670
It is.
31
00:01:30,918 --> 00:01:33,023
So, you're saying
we have a baby now?
Good god almighty.
32
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,750
Okay, you know what,
this is gonna be okay.
33
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,442
It is?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure it will.
34
00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,340
[MURRY BARKS]
Hey, Murray.
35
00:01:39,478 --> 00:01:42,032
Hey, Murray,
look, look, look.
Look who's here. Look.
36
00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:44,587
A whole new person
for you to smell.
37
00:01:44,725 --> 00:01:47,348
Murray, say hello to...
38
00:01:48,177 --> 00:01:50,110
Possibly Julia?
Eh.
39
00:01:50,248 --> 00:01:51,456
For my uncle Jules.
40
00:01:51,594 --> 00:01:52,836
How about Lilly?
41
00:01:52,974 --> 00:01:54,528
Lilly.
For my aunt Lolly.
42
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:57,013
Lilly, Lolly...
Oh, all right.
43
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,084
Murray, you have
a sister.
44
00:01:59,222 --> 00:02:01,569
Look, sweetie.
What do you think
about that, huh?
45
00:02:01,707 --> 00:02:02,915
[MURRAY WHINES]
46
00:02:04,227 --> 00:02:06,195
[BABY CRYING]
Oh, oh, oh.
47
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,783
[IMITATING ALARM]
It's okay. What is it?
48
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:10,440
What is it?
What's the matter?
49
00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:12,477
All right, you have
to stop doing that.
50
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:14,651
Sorry.
Why is she crying?
51
00:02:14,789 --> 00:02:15,894
I couldn't tell you,
personally.
52
00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:17,378
Okay, sweetie,
what is it?
53
00:02:17,516 --> 00:02:18,931
Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh.
54
00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:20,416
What? What's...
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
55
00:02:20,554 --> 00:02:22,038
Okay, okay.
What?
56
00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:23,660
Aha!
57
00:02:23,798 --> 00:02:24,972
Already they do that?
58
00:02:25,110 --> 00:02:26,732
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
59
00:02:26,870 --> 00:02:28,838
Oh, you know what, sweetie?
We got one of those
changing tables
60
00:02:28,976 --> 00:02:30,529
you're supposed to use.
You put them right on
the changing table,
61
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:31,737
and then you don't
have to put the kid
right, right on the...
62
00:02:31,875 --> 00:02:33,049
On the table, which is
probably not the...
63
00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,499
Oh, okay, but
that table's good.
64
00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:39,055
May I please have
another diaper...
Sure.
65
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,919
Some Destine, and
some baby wipes, please?
66
00:02:41,057 --> 00:02:43,266
Coming right up.
Here we go.
67
00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:45,199
I'm lookin... crackers?
68
00:02:45,337 --> 00:02:46,890
Diaper, diaper,
diaper, diaper.
69
00:02:47,408 --> 00:02:48,409
Oh, okay.
70
00:02:48,547 --> 00:02:50,204
Diaper. Diaper.
71
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:51,930
Diaper.
Thank you.
72
00:02:52,068 --> 00:02:53,966
Oh, thank you.
73
00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:55,727
Okay.
74
00:02:55,865 --> 00:02:57,832
Maybe not the best trade
daddy ever made.
75
00:02:59,144 --> 00:03:01,560
Didn't really think
this one all the way
through, did I?
76
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:04,356
I can't... you know,
uh, hold on one second.
I'll be right back.
77
00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:07,325
All right. So,
the tape goes
in the front,
78
00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:09,672
you would think, so
it stands to reason
79
00:03:09,810 --> 00:03:11,467
that this
must be the front.
80
00:03:11,605 --> 00:03:16,057
[SIGHS]So we'll put this
under here,
81
00:03:17,093 --> 00:03:19,475
and we tape it down
on that side,
82
00:03:19,613 --> 00:03:21,615
and we tape it down
on this side,
83
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:23,755
and we have,
84
00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:25,860
and we have...
come here.
85
00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:27,793
This is a total disaster.
86
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,590
May I have another
diaper, please?
87
00:03:31,728 --> 00:03:33,868
That was the only diaper
they gave us, sweetie.
88
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,871
They sent us home
from the hospital
with one diaper?
89
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,563
Yes. Yes, it'll be okay.
It's okay.
90
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:40,012
Well, how's that?
91
00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:41,635
Is that better?
[CRIES]
92
00:03:41,773 --> 00:03:43,153
Oh, no, no, no.
That's a little
too tight. All right.
93
00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:45,639
Gonna be right back.
94
00:03:45,777 --> 00:03:47,399
Where are you going?
Incinerator.
95
00:03:57,409 --> 00:03:58,583
First poop.
96
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:02,449
You must be
very proud.
97
00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:04,105
Well, you know.
98
00:04:05,348 --> 00:04:07,281
Hey, is that... is that?
99
00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:08,903
My first husband, Hal.
100
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,319
Your first husband, Hal.
101
00:04:10,457 --> 00:04:12,044
My first husband, Hal.
102
00:04:12,182 --> 00:04:13,701
Both my husbands
have been called
Hal.
103
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,910
My second
husband Hal and I
have separated,
104
00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,085
and my first
husband Hal and I
are rekindled.
105
00:04:18,223 --> 00:04:19,224
All right?
106
00:04:20,398 --> 00:04:21,916
Great. Well,
good for you.
107
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:24,091
Boy, you know,
you're like that woman
in the song, Henry the Eighth.
108
00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:27,059
You know, she married
eight guys all named Henry.
109
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,717
Yes, I'm exactly
like that.
110
00:04:31,132 --> 00:04:32,893
Would you mind joining me
in the living room, please?
111
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,275
Sure. Pardon.
112
00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:36,724
They've had a child?
113
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:37,863
I'm afraid so.
114
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,109
Come on, stick.
Will you stick?
115
00:04:42,247 --> 00:04:43,283
It's okay.
116
00:04:43,421 --> 00:04:45,250
Bring me some tape.
Tape?
117
00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:46,976
Don't judge me.
Just bring me some tape.
118
00:04:47,114 --> 00:04:48,529
Okay.
119
00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:50,876
What's the matter,
you never heard of
taping up a diaper before?
120
00:04:51,014 --> 00:04:52,499
Oh, of course I have.
121
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,156
This is really hard.
122
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,572
Hey, I know.
123
00:04:56,710 --> 00:04:58,988
Don't patronize me.
No, no, no.
No patronizing.
124
00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:00,541
Hey, cutie.
125
00:05:00,679 --> 00:05:02,405
I don't understand why
I'm having so much trouble.
126
00:05:02,543 --> 00:05:04,200
It seemed so simple
at the hospital.
127
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:05,719
Well, you know what?
128
00:05:05,857 --> 00:05:07,307
It's gonna be okay.
It is?
129
00:05:07,445 --> 00:05:08,618
Yeah.
130
00:05:08,756 --> 00:05:09,999
Okay. Okay.
131
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,242
How does this look?
132
00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:14,244
That's... pssh.
133
00:05:14,383 --> 00:05:16,108
Liar.
[DOORBELL BUZZER]
134
00:05:16,246 --> 00:05:18,318
When she bends over,
everybody will think it's
the flag of Switzerland.
135
00:05:18,456 --> 00:05:19,560
That's good.
136
00:05:20,423 --> 00:05:21,597
Where is she?
137
00:05:21,735 --> 00:05:23,806
Hey.
Hey, uncle Ira.
138
00:05:23,944 --> 00:05:25,325
Say hi to uncle Ira.
139
00:05:25,463 --> 00:05:26,981
Hello, sweetie.
140
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,397
Hi, Snooky.
141
00:05:28,535 --> 00:05:29,881
Hi, muffin-face.
142
00:05:30,019 --> 00:05:30,951
You got a name yet?
143
00:05:31,089 --> 00:05:32,401
Kind of.
We're working on it.
144
00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:34,782
Okay, swaddling.
145
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,441
"Place baby diagonally
146
00:05:38,579 --> 00:05:41,789
With head above
folded corner."
147
00:05:41,927 --> 00:05:45,345
They mean folded corner
or the pointy
folded corner?
148
00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:47,968
Stop watching me.
149
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:49,452
Okay. Okay.
150
00:05:49,590 --> 00:05:50,867
Kitchen.
Sure.
151
00:05:52,731 --> 00:05:55,078
So, Paulie, I got
a gift for the baby.
152
00:05:55,216 --> 00:05:57,080
Oh, you didn't
have to do that.
153
00:05:57,218 --> 00:05:59,393
Whoa, whoa,
how much money
is in here?
154
00:05:59,531 --> 00:06:01,188
Thousand bucks.
155
00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:03,155
What is she,
Connie Corleone?
156
00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:05,019
Where did you get this?
157
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,607
Well, I won a little bet.
158
00:06:07,021 --> 00:06:08,091
On what?
159
00:06:08,644 --> 00:06:09,817
Women's basketball.
160
00:06:11,198 --> 00:06:13,338
Okay, you should
be in a meeting
all the time.
161
00:06:13,476 --> 00:06:14,512
JAMIE: Help me!
162
00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:16,652
What happened?
163
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:19,206
It's like a cruel riddle.
It's like some kind of
Rubik's cube.
164
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:21,277
Sweetie.
It cannot be done.
Do it.
165
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,210
Okay.
Get away.
Get away. Get away.
166
00:06:23,348 --> 00:06:25,177
Ira, will you
swaddle my child?
167
00:06:25,315 --> 00:06:26,593
Okay.
Get out of there.
168
00:06:28,491 --> 00:06:30,251
Sweetie, it will be okay.
169
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,358
No, it won't. That is
such a bunch of crap about
how okay it's gonna be.
170
00:06:33,496 --> 00:06:35,015
Okay.
Do you want to hear
a little secret?
171
00:06:35,153 --> 00:06:37,120
As parents,
we may suck.
172
00:06:37,258 --> 00:06:39,571
First of all,
can I just say I think
you're doing great?
173
00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:41,021
You do not.
Yes, I do.
174
00:06:41,159 --> 00:06:42,954
You do not!
Yes. Ira, don't I think
she's doing great?
175
00:06:43,092 --> 00:06:44,438
Please don't
make me talk now.
176
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:47,579
Well isn't there
somebody we could call?
177
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,650
Like a guy,
a swaddling guy?
178
00:06:49,788 --> 00:06:51,065
[BUZZER]
179
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,204
Who is it?
180
00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:54,241
THERESA: Oh!
Oh, thank living god.
181
00:06:54,379 --> 00:06:55,622
There's a great
swaddler right there.
182
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:56,933
Look how life provides.
183
00:06:57,071 --> 00:06:58,176
Hi, Ira.
184
00:06:58,314 --> 00:06:59,349
Theresa.
Hi.
185
00:06:59,488 --> 00:07:01,731
Hi, sweetie!
Hi, mom.
186
00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:02,836
Oh, honey.
187
00:07:04,872 --> 00:07:06,322
Hi. Hi.
188
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:08,773
How are you?
Oh, I'm good.
I'm good.
189
00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,878
How's the baby?
She's good.
190
00:07:11,707 --> 00:07:12,846
Was the traffic bad?
191
00:07:12,984 --> 00:07:14,468
No, it was very light.
192
00:07:14,606 --> 00:07:15,573
Good.
You're...
193
00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:17,229
Honey, I...
I can't breathe.
194
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:18,714
Oh, I'm sorry.
195
00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,301
I'm sorry.
I brought you
some things.
196
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,580
A tuna casserole
and some diapers.
197
00:07:22,718 --> 00:07:24,685
Oh, diapers and casserole,
my favorite.
198
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:26,480
Let's see her.
199
00:07:27,170 --> 00:07:28,620
Ohh! [HIGH-PITCHED]
200
00:07:29,414 --> 00:07:30,829
Will you look at that.
201
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:33,487
Oh, look.
202
00:07:33,625 --> 00:07:35,178
Oh, hello, precious.
203
00:07:35,662 --> 00:07:37,457
Hello, pumpkin.
204
00:07:37,595 --> 00:07:39,804
Hello, sweet-cheeks.
205
00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:40,977
No name?
206
00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:42,289
Not at all.
I'm sorry,
we don't.
207
00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:46,258
Interesting diaper.
I know.
208
00:07:46,396 --> 00:07:48,295
You know, it's funny
you should say that,
209
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,814
because anything
you can do to show us
210
00:07:49,952 --> 00:07:51,712
how to make it
less interesting
and more normal,
211
00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:53,196
we would love that.
Oh, no.
212
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:55,302
No, no, no.
213
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,510
No!
214
00:07:56,648 --> 00:07:57,615
Why not?
215
00:07:57,753 --> 00:08:00,238
Because,
when I had you,
216
00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:02,620
my mother
butted in, big-time,
217
00:08:02,758 --> 00:08:05,864
and I swore
to myself that I would
never, ever, ever
218
00:08:06,002 --> 00:08:07,452
be one of those
mothers who butts in.
219
00:08:07,590 --> 00:08:09,661
No, no. Please butt in.
I need you to butt in.
220
00:08:09,799 --> 00:08:11,698
I have no idea
what I'm doing.
Not a clue.
221
00:08:11,836 --> 00:08:13,078
Hey!
I'm saying...
222
00:08:16,323 --> 00:08:17,566
Well... all right,
223
00:08:17,704 --> 00:08:19,809
but I'm not...
I am not going
to butt in.
224
00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:21,086
I can pitch in,
225
00:08:21,224 --> 00:08:23,572
but just
a very, very little.
226
00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:25,988
That would be great.
Pitching in would be great.
[ALL TALKING]
227
00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:27,403
Please, a little
pitching in.
228
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,749
Okay.
229
00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:31,407
Ira, would you get
the changing table, please,
230
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,788
and bring it over here?
IRA: You got it.
231
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:35,480
Paul, I need some
baby wipes,
cotton balls,
232
00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:36,999
and a dry washcloth.
233
00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:40,312
Coming right up.
Oh, also some index cards
and a magic marker.
234
00:08:41,382 --> 00:08:44,178
Let's see if grandma
can still cut it.
235
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:45,663
All right, sweetheart.
236
00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:48,355
Here we go, darling.
Yes, here we go.
237
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:51,289
Okay. Now, the key
to diapering
238
00:08:51,427 --> 00:08:53,153
is a simple
mnemonic device.
239
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,638
S-w-e-e-t.
240
00:08:55,776 --> 00:08:56,881
Sweet.
Sweet.
241
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,641
"S", survey,
242
00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:00,505
"W", wipe,
243
00:09:00,643 --> 00:09:02,438
"E", entertain the baby,
244
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:03,715
coochie coochie, coochie.
245
00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:07,823
While we "E", ease out
Mr. Old, dirty diaper.
246
00:09:07,961 --> 00:09:11,481
"T", tie up
Mr. Old, dirty diaper.
247
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:14,139
♪ And send him
on his way ♪
248
00:09:15,762 --> 00:09:17,522
How is it me again?
249
00:09:17,660 --> 00:09:20,456
Now, it's time
for Mr. Clean diaper.
250
00:09:23,321 --> 00:09:25,910
We are so glad
you're here, believe me.
This is such a,
251
00:09:26,048 --> 00:09:27,981
somebody who's
done it, you know
what I mean?
252
00:09:30,431 --> 00:09:31,950
Sweet.
S-w-e-e-t.
253
00:09:32,088 --> 00:09:33,227
Yes. You may want
to write that down.
254
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,746
Hey, that's what
I'm doing.
255
00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:36,645
Okay, now,
swaddling is simple,
256
00:09:36,783 --> 00:09:39,061
just think of
the word "Tuba."
257
00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:41,270
Tuck under both arms.
258
00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:43,134
This is just brilliant.
259
00:09:43,272 --> 00:09:44,894
Look at that.
"Tuba."
260
00:09:45,032 --> 00:09:47,552
All right,
here we go, sweetheart.
261
00:09:47,690 --> 00:09:50,141
Now it's time to discuss
the crib placement.
262
00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:53,006
Mom, I'm so thrilled
with my "Sweet"
and my "Tuba,"
263
00:09:53,144 --> 00:09:54,732
I'm just gonna
perfect that for a while.
264
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:57,838
Oh, well, all right, honey.
I'm gonna go wash
my hands again.
265
00:09:57,976 --> 00:10:00,358
Remember, always wash
your hands and often.
266
00:10:00,496 --> 00:10:02,256
Awyhaof.
267
00:10:03,637 --> 00:10:04,707
What?
268
00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:07,710
Aw... aw... awyhaof.
Awyhaof. Awyhaof.
269
00:10:09,539 --> 00:10:12,059
No, honey, that
was just talking.
270
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:14,510
Oh, that's not a thing.
Okay, all right.
271
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:17,755
Honey, would you
help me, please,
with this?
272
00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:19,032
[BUZZER]
273
00:10:19,170 --> 00:10:20,067
Who's that?
274
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,138
It's me, Burt!
275
00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:24,209
Burt Buchman,
your father.
276
00:10:24,347 --> 00:10:25,659
DEBBIE: And
Joan and Debbie.
277
00:10:25,797 --> 00:10:27,661
Come in, family of ours.
278
00:10:27,799 --> 00:10:29,145
Ira. Hello.
279
00:10:29,283 --> 00:10:30,595
[BURT EXCITED]
280
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:32,632
Oh, there she is.
281
00:10:32,770 --> 00:10:35,013
Oh ho ho, doll-face.
282
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:36,705
Oh, hello, sugar.
283
00:10:36,843 --> 00:10:38,810
Hello... there.
284
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,743
No name yet?
BOTH: We don't have
a name.
285
00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:43,056
You know,
they got books now.
We're gonna look them over.
286
00:10:43,194 --> 00:10:44,436
We brought you
a tuna casserole.
287
00:10:44,574 --> 00:10:45,955
Great.
You like tuna casserole?
288
00:10:46,093 --> 00:10:47,232
Apparently tremendously.
289
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:48,958
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
Who's this?
290
00:10:49,096 --> 00:10:51,236
Your mother.
She's down
in the lobby.
291
00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:52,686
What's she doing
down in the lobby?
292
00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:54,861
SYLVIA: Hello.
Can anyone hear me?
293
00:10:54,999 --> 00:10:56,828
Yeah, ma...
I'm in the lobby.
294
00:10:56,966 --> 00:10:58,519
Can anyone hear me?
295
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,004
Why don't you just come up?
296
00:11:00,142 --> 00:11:03,076
I have what I believe to be
the beginnings of a cold,
297
00:11:03,214 --> 00:11:05,354
and I don't want to get
the baby sick.
298
00:11:05,492 --> 00:11:07,287
That's very considerate
of you, Sylvia.
299
00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:10,462
Oh, not at all.
I'm just so glad
to be here...
300
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,671
In the lobby.
301
00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:16,365
Later, Burt will describe
my grandchild to me.
302
00:11:16,503 --> 00:11:19,264
Burt, did you give them
the casserole and the book?
303
00:11:19,402 --> 00:11:21,128
Oh, oh! Yeah. Yeah.
304
00:11:21,888 --> 00:11:22,992
What is this more tuna?
305
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:24,856
Why don't we put these in
the fridge?
306
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:27,445
Yeah, you know what,
put it next to its friends,
the other casseroles.
307
00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:28,757
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
308
00:11:28,895 --> 00:11:30,344
I'm coming. Yeah?
309
00:11:30,482 --> 00:11:33,934
Listen, tape down
the button so I can hear.
310
00:11:34,072 --> 00:11:35,280
Want me to tape it?
311
00:11:35,418 --> 00:11:36,696
Sure, okay, ma.
312
00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:38,421
Can I say hello
to the baby?
313
00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:40,147
Sure.
314
00:11:40,285 --> 00:11:42,494
Hold her up to
the microphone
so she can hear me.
315
00:11:42,632 --> 00:11:44,255
Oh, you know, she's,
she can hear you.
316
00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:46,636
She can hear you, ma,
believe me. Babies in Japan
can hear you.
317
00:11:46,775 --> 00:11:48,673
Hold her up to
the microphone!
318
00:11:48,811 --> 00:11:50,537
I'm holding her!
I'm holding.
319
00:11:50,675 --> 00:11:52,953
Burt, is he
holding her up?
320
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,161
Uh-huh.
321
00:11:54,299 --> 00:11:55,956
Fine, leave her
in the bassinet.
322
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,062
How does she do that?
323
00:11:58,856 --> 00:12:00,754
Hello, sweet girl.
324
00:12:00,892 --> 00:12:02,894
Hello, my beautiful girl.
325
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,931
Hello, sweet girl
326
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:07,416
whose parents
should stop fooling around
and pick a name already.
327
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:09,176
We're trying.
We're still
working on it, ma.
328
00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:11,247
Murray, what
are you doing
down there?
329
00:12:11,385 --> 00:12:13,249
[MURRAY SNARLS]
330
00:12:13,387 --> 00:12:15,735
Murray, it's me, Burt,
331
00:12:15,873 --> 00:12:16,908
Burt Buchman,
332
00:12:17,046 --> 00:12:19,324
Paul's father.
[MURRAY SNARLS AGAIN]
333
00:12:19,462 --> 00:12:21,085
What's the matter
with him?
334
00:12:21,223 --> 00:12:22,569
He's sulking or something.
335
00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:24,364
He's scared
of the baby.
336
00:12:24,502 --> 00:12:26,262
Murray...
[SNARLS]
337
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:27,816
Some nut!
338
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,062
Oh, hi, Burt.
Hello. Hello.
[PLAYFUL CHUCKLE]
339
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,340
Honey, is this
a good time now?
340
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:37,791
Good time to...
To discuss
crib placement
341
00:12:37,929 --> 00:12:40,207
and its impact on her IQ.
342
00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,071
Jamie.
Oh, hello.
343
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,210
Hi.
Hi.
344
00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:44,971
Look who's here.
It's the gals.
345
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:50,459
You know, I think
it's just wonderful
346
00:12:50,597 --> 00:12:52,841
how the two of you
are sticking with it.
347
00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:58,708
Jamie, we need
a refrigerator
allocation discussion.
348
00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:00,538
This cottage cheese,
sentimental value?
349
00:13:00,676 --> 00:13:02,436
We were
wondering 'cause
it's blue now.
350
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,335
Okay. I'll be right there.
351
00:13:04,473 --> 00:13:06,095
Will you excuse me
for one second.
352
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,166
If it would
help, I could
eat something.
353
00:13:08,304 --> 00:13:09,547
Try the casserole.
354
00:13:12,032 --> 00:13:13,275
I'm gonna go.
355
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:15,035
What do you mean?
No, no, no, no,
where you going now?
356
00:13:15,173 --> 00:13:16,796
Oh, Jamie doesn't
want me here.
357
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:18,936
SYLVIA: You know,
excuse... hello!
358
00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,352
Listen, uh,
I'd like to make
a suggestion.
359
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:23,078
Ma, hang on one second.
360
00:13:23,216 --> 00:13:24,907
Believe me.
She really does.
I swear to you.
361
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:27,634
You know, I went through
a similar thing
with my mother.
362
00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:29,532
Yeah, okay, ma, you know,
it's hard to hear you now,
363
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:31,017
because I can't...
you're breaking up.
364
00:13:31,155 --> 00:13:32,812
I found that if I just...
[INTERCOM STOPS]
365
00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:36,746
Jamie very much
wants you here.
366
00:13:36,885 --> 00:13:39,163
No, she doesn't.
She's just
being polite.
367
00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:40,405
Not true.
368
00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:43,650
Paul, she's got you.
You know what to do.
369
00:13:43,788 --> 00:13:45,997
Ah! [CHUCKLES]
370
00:13:46,135 --> 00:13:47,723
Come on, you're
a natural father.
371
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,449
Oh, no, no, no.
372
00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:51,002
Well, you can
become a natural.
373
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:52,486
I don't think... no.
374
00:13:53,591 --> 00:13:55,593
You got all these books.
You can read books.
375
00:13:55,731 --> 00:13:57,043
Yeah, but the books,
it's not...
376
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:00,494
They have pictures.
377
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,807
Even the pic... no.
Pretty pictures.
378
00:14:02,945 --> 00:14:04,774
Between you and Jamie,
you can take,
379
00:14:04,913 --> 00:14:06,224
Jamie is... [MUTTERS]
380
00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:10,228
So, you want me to stay?
381
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:12,127
[APPROVING GRUNT]
382
00:14:12,265 --> 00:14:13,335
I'll stay.
383
00:14:21,895 --> 00:14:22,931
[FLOORBOARD CREAKS]
384
00:14:23,069 --> 00:14:24,035
Uhh! [STARTLED]
385
00:14:24,173 --> 00:14:25,312
Oh, good.
You're up.
386
00:14:26,831 --> 00:14:28,074
Hi. Nice
to see you.
387
00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:29,282
Is everything okay?
388
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,111
It's fine.
Time to feed the baby.
389
00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:32,561
What?
390
00:14:32,699 --> 00:14:34,114
Time to feed the baby.
391
00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:36,910
You have to feed her
every 2 and 3/4 hours.
392
00:14:37,048 --> 00:14:39,809
In other words, now,
so up and at 'em.
393
00:14:39,948 --> 00:14:41,501
No, no, no,
mom, whoa.
I was gonna
394
00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:43,641
feed her every four hours
or when she cries,
395
00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:45,298
you know,
every two or three, some...
396
00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:48,611
If you want your baby to
have to cry for her meals.
397
00:14:48,749 --> 00:14:51,097
I don't want her
to have to cry.
398
00:14:51,235 --> 00:14:55,964
Well, the crying
is about to begin,
so it's up to you.
399
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,482
Okay. Okay.
400
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,277
So we're up,
we're up,
we're up.
401
00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:00,761
We're up.
402
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,523
Oh, we're gonna go
over here to mommy
now, yes.
403
00:15:03,661 --> 00:15:04,973
Oh-ho.
404
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,941
Oh, my god,
she's beautiful.
405
00:15:08,079 --> 00:15:11,186
Honey, honey,
you don't want her
to just take the nipple.
406
00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:13,498
You want her to take
the entire areola.
407
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:14,775
I know. I know.
408
00:15:22,438 --> 00:15:24,751
She's just
the most beautiful...
Ow!
409
00:15:29,307 --> 00:15:30,964
She's like
a little angel... ow!
410
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:36,936
Look at her.
411
00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:39,731
What a thing, huh?
412
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:41,871
What a thing
this is.
413
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:44,184
Man, I'm hungry.
414
00:15:52,227 --> 00:15:53,297
How we doing?
415
00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:55,161
Just love this
so much.
416
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:57,611
Hey, little baby.
417
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:58,785
Trade you?
418
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:02,513
Okey-dokey.
That's enough.
419
00:16:02,651 --> 00:16:05,067
Oh, uh, mom, I think
she's still hungry.
420
00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,828
Honey, honey, no,
no, that's enough.
Come on.
421
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,106
Okay, sweetie.
422
00:16:09,244 --> 00:16:10,210
Okay.
423
00:16:10,348 --> 00:16:12,316
All right, sweetie.
Okay.
424
00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:13,834
Okay, honey.
425
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,905
You got her?
Yeah.
426
00:16:16,044 --> 00:16:18,218
All right. Now, Paul.
Hmm?
427
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:19,979
After the meal comes?
428
00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:22,395
Pie?
429
00:16:24,811 --> 00:16:26,571
Burping.
Burping. Good. Yeah.
430
00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:27,952
I knew that one, too.
431
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,127
Now, the best way
to burp, darling is,
432
00:16:30,265 --> 00:16:31,714
put her on your lap,
433
00:16:31,852 --> 00:16:33,440
and here's how
you remember it,
434
00:16:33,578 --> 00:16:37,203
gently rub, evenly pat,
securely held
435
00:16:37,341 --> 00:16:38,756
Or "Greps."
436
00:16:38,894 --> 00:16:41,862
Okay. Right there,
that's my favorite
one so far.
437
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,072
I think I'm just
gonna burp her
on my shoulder.
438
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:45,797
Uh, that would
be unfortunate.
439
00:16:45,935 --> 00:16:48,731
Well, I think it's
a perfectly good way
to do it.
440
00:16:48,869 --> 00:16:51,976
Well, yes,
unless you'd like her
to actually burp.
441
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:55,324
Mom, I'm gonna
burp my child
on my shoulder, okay?
442
00:16:56,291 --> 00:16:58,017
Oh ho. Fine.
[SARCASTICALLY]
443
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:01,468
Fine. Hmm?
444
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:02,676
Here we go.
445
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,368
Oh, now don't you
mutter at me, missy.
446
00:17:04,506 --> 00:17:06,508
If it were up
to me, I wouldn't
even be here,
447
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:09,028
but when
I wanted to leave
a long time ago,
448
00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:11,685
your husband wouldn't
let me out the door.
449
00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:13,860
Is that true?
450
00:17:19,866 --> 00:17:21,212
Excuse us.
451
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:22,282
You know what,
sweetie? Can I...
you know what?
452
00:17:22,420 --> 00:17:23,387
Stay.
453
00:17:26,321 --> 00:17:27,322
Hi, Sylvia.
454
00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,461
Oh, my god.
455
00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:30,359
I don't want the baby
to catch my cold.
456
00:17:30,497 --> 00:17:32,396
I can't believe
you're still here.
457
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,095
Sweetie, look.
458
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:44,132
Look.
459
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:45,478
There's your grandma.
460
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh, my goodness.
She's so beautiful.
461
00:17:52,312 --> 00:17:53,762
I can go home now.
Thank you.
462
00:17:53,900 --> 00:17:55,108
You're welcome.
463
00:17:55,384 --> 00:17:56,420
No,
464
00:17:57,214 --> 00:17:58,249
I mean,
465
00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:00,596
thank you.
466
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:04,911
All right, I'm sorry.
467
00:18:05,049 --> 00:18:06,775
I'm sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.
Just say it.
468
00:18:06,913 --> 00:18:08,156
I'm saying
I'm very sorry.
469
00:18:08,294 --> 00:18:10,848
Just, say, you're scared
I'm not gonna be
a good mother.
470
00:18:10,986 --> 00:18:12,021
That's not even true.
471
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,885
You know you wanna say it.
472
00:18:14,023 --> 00:18:15,404
You're not supposed
to be it yet.
473
00:18:15,542 --> 00:18:16,716
What?
474
00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:18,097
Nothing.
Good?
475
00:18:18,787 --> 00:18:19,857
Yeah.
Aha.
476
00:18:19,995 --> 00:18:20,996
Okay, you happy now?
Uh-huh.
477
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:22,515
Good.
So now what?
478
00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:24,241
So now I, you know,
479
00:18:24,379 --> 00:18:25,794
I tell your mother
to go home.
480
00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,934
What?
481
00:18:28,072 --> 00:18:30,454
I'm gonna go upstairs, and
I'll say, "Listen, we don't need
you. We're fine. Go home."
482
00:18:30,592 --> 00:18:31,593
And then what?
483
00:18:31,731 --> 00:18:33,146
Then she goes home.
484
00:18:33,284 --> 00:18:34,492
And then what?
485
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:36,322
Then we're in charge.
486
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:37,633
What, are you
kidding me?
487
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,085
She's the only person
in this house
488
00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:44,123
with any clue how to care
for a human life.
489
00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,503
Yeah, okay,
right now, but...
490
00:18:45,641 --> 00:18:47,333
I cannot even get
this child to burp.
491
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:48,748
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
Hey, she'll burp.
492
00:18:51,613 --> 00:18:52,545
Any luck?
493
00:18:52,683 --> 00:18:53,753
No, not yet.
494
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,208
I know.
495
00:19:09,355 --> 00:19:11,495
You, you know...
you know... you know
what it's like... [STUTTERS]
496
00:19:12,703 --> 00:19:14,463
Okay. You know...
you know, okay.
497
00:19:14,601 --> 00:19:16,776
Okay. Okay.
Perfect. Okay. Okay.
498
00:19:16,914 --> 00:19:17,846
You know,
you know how...
499
00:19:17,984 --> 00:19:19,468
Honey, before
you pull something.
500
00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,782
Mom, I think
you can go home now.
501
00:19:25,233 --> 00:19:26,406
Really?
Yeah.
502
00:19:28,374 --> 00:19:29,340
You want me
to go?
503
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:31,584
Mmm, mmm,
mmm, mmm.
504
00:19:31,722 --> 00:19:34,621
Oh, I just wish I could be sure
you'd be all right without me.
505
00:19:34,759 --> 00:19:35,691
Well, we can't...
506
00:19:35,829 --> 00:19:37,072
[BURPS]
507
00:19:39,385 --> 00:19:41,490
I'll leave
in the morning.
508
00:19:41,628 --> 00:19:44,459
[BURPS]
509
00:19:45,425 --> 00:19:46,806
What a little
goddess you are.
510
00:19:46,944 --> 00:19:48,187
Boy, even I feel better now.
511
00:19:49,774 --> 00:19:51,362
Ah, hold the lift.
512
00:19:52,536 --> 00:19:53,709
Hello.
Hello.
513
00:19:53,847 --> 00:19:54,883
Hello.
514
00:20:02,684 --> 00:20:03,995
Is that the child?
515
00:20:06,274 --> 00:20:07,309
Yes.
516
00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:08,448
Mm-hmm.
517
00:20:11,279 --> 00:20:12,280
What's its name?
518
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:13,557
They don't know yet.
519
00:20:13,695 --> 00:20:14,696
Ah.
520
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,045
Coochie coochie
coochie coo.
521
00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:21,323
[BURPS]
522
00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:29,745
Well, good night, then.
523
00:20:31,678 --> 00:20:33,473
Oh, I've got
a couple more mnemonics.
524
00:20:33,611 --> 00:20:34,923
Maybe I could
give them to you now?
525
00:20:35,061 --> 00:20:36,338
Sure, mom.
Good.
526
00:20:36,476 --> 00:20:39,824
Now, as to the temperature
of the room she sleeps in,
527
00:20:39,962 --> 00:20:42,517
remember, cooler
really is better.
528
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:44,001
"Crib."
529
00:20:45,002 --> 00:20:46,866
And the most important
one of all.
530
00:20:47,004 --> 00:20:50,352
Whenever you
go anywhere, no matter
what you're packing,
531
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:54,563
just remember, mothers
always bring extra love.
532
00:20:55,737 --> 00:20:57,463
Ma-bel. Okay.
533
00:20:57,601 --> 00:20:58,671
Ma-bel.
534
00:21:00,638 --> 00:21:02,157
Mabel.
Mabel.
535
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:03,745
Oh, I like that.
536
00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:05,505
I love that.
537
00:21:05,643 --> 00:21:07,024
Gosh, that wasn't
so difficult.
538
00:21:11,615 --> 00:21:14,134
And so, we are thrilled
and excited to tell you,
539
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:17,621
that after an exhaustive
search, we have finally
named our child.
540
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:19,519
Well, there we go.
541
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,384
We would like you
all to meet...
542
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:23,799
Mabel.
543
00:21:41,748 --> 00:21:42,715
[SNIFFS]
544
00:21:42,853 --> 00:21:43,750
Oh.
[SNIFFS]
545
00:21:43,888 --> 00:21:44,820
Whew.
546
00:21:44,958 --> 00:21:48,272
[BOTH SNIFFING]
547
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,355
Hey, eureka.
548
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:06,325
There you go.
37392
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