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1
00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:06,316
[Paul] Do we have
any cantaloupe?
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,718
[Jamie] It's out of season.
3
00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:08,952
Cantaloupe doesn't
go out of season.
4
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,220
It's a year-round fruit.
5
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,322
There's no such thing
as a year-round fruit.
6
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,656
Bananas are a year-round fruit.
7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,958
Then have a banana.
8
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:16,860
I don't want a banana.
I want a cantaloupe.
9
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:19,830
It's out of season. Cantaloupe
doesn't go out of season.
10
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,098
[whimpers]
11
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,054
♪♪ [theme]
12
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:36,346
♪ Tell me why I
love you like I do ♪
13
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:40,350
♪ Tell me who can stop
my heart as much as you ♪
14
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,352
♪ Let's take each other's hand ♪
15
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,686
♪ As we jump into ♪
16
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,356
♪ The final frontier ♪
17
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,025
♪ Mad about you, baby ♪
18
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,982
♪ Yeah ♪
19
00:00:56,724 --> 00:01:00,036
Come on, honey.
The bus is coming.
20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,527
Oh, never mind.
21
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,642
If I made these,
would you eat them?
22
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,978
Would you make
those? If you'd eat them.
23
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,646
Yeah. Sure, whatever.
24
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:10,947
Oh, God, it's two pages.
25
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,181
Forget it. I'm not making them.
26
00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,983
Ooh, I had my heart
set on them, too.
27
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,007
Here we go. Come on.
28
00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,282
All right, very good.
29
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:33,336
I wonder if ES and
BL are still together.
30
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,138
I think so. I think they are,
31
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,339
because they were
on the right track.
32
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,675
These are good people.
They took the bus.
33
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,010
They saved their money.
With the money they saved,
34
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,680
they bought a nice
little house upstate.
35
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,683
Tree-lined street.
Good school district.
36
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:49,018
Unfortunately, the
neighbor's kids are hooligans,
37
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,688
and every Sunday, they
pelt the house with eggs.
38
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:54,023
The police have to come, but
there's nothing you can do, sadly,
39
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,025
because there's no
proof. There's no proof.
40
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,695
Got a pen? For what?
41
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,131
"Bliss or blunder? Perfect
mate or big mistake?"
42
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:04,301
Oh, no, no, no.
Come on, it's a quiz.
43
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,969
What kind of quiz?
Can you win a boat?
44
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,305
No. Then what
good comes of this?
45
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:10,140
All right, fine. I'll
take it for both of us.
46
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,808
No, you can't. You
can't do that. Why not?
47
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,142
Because then it's skewed.
48
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,312
In or out? All right, go.
49
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:19,771
"Question one... Do you
believe in love at first sight?"
50
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,121
Do you still have
the Sunday Times?
51
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,655
Last one right here.
52
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:26,756
Thanks.
53
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,058
Hey, what are you doing?
54
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:29,793
My parents' obituary is in here.
55
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,729
Oh, gee, go ahead. Both of them?
56
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,198
It was an earthquake.
57
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,821
Really?
58
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:39,324
Beams hit them.
59
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,605
Beams?
60
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:42,839
It was very fast.
61
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,463
The ground just
swallowed up their house.
62
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,111
What?
63
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:49,246
What, nothing?
64
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,270
Thanks.
65
00:02:57,444 --> 00:03:00,423
"J. Stemple."
66
00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:03,160
Stemple.
67
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:05,795
Can you believe that girl?
68
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,164
Hi.
69
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,766
What are you doing
with my dry cleaning?
70
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:13,970
Well, you dropped the slip last
night as you hijacked my newspaper.
71
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,071
How did you find her?
72
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,174
I went to the dry cleaners.
73
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,441
And they told you
where I worked?
74
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:22,245
Well, I told them I was
your house boy, Coco.
75
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:24,314
He thinks I have a sexy voice.
76
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:27,884
He's a nice guy, and
he's cute. He is, isn't he?
77
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,687
And he gets that little twinkle
in his eye. I know. He's so cute.
78
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,889
Tell me something about her.
79
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,658
Jamie? Well, I
could tell you this.
80
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,494
I think she likes you.
81
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,129
No. You think?
82
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:40,497
Yeah, I think.
83
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,999
Yeah, because... Well,
you can sense these things,
84
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,668
because when you
know somebody that long,
85
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,370
you can sort of read the signs.
86
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,674
What signs?
87
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,530
Fran told me.
88
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:55,200
I thought about
you too last night.
89
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:58,681
And then, when you
found me here today,
90
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,105
it's like it was too
good to be true.
91
00:04:02,309 --> 00:04:06,511
And though you seem
to be this nice guy...
92
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,614
I can see why you're troubled.
93
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,297
You realize if this
doesn't work out,
94
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,299
I'm going to have to
blow my brains out.
95
00:04:16,323 --> 00:04:18,134
That's good. So long
as there's no pressure.
96
00:04:18,158 --> 00:04:19,158
Yeah.
97
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:25,530
I just don't want to
be disappointed again.
98
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,569
I'll do my best.
99
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,652
Okay, come on. Next question.
100
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,922
"On a scale from 1 to
10, rate your sex life."
101
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,625
It only goes up to 10?
102
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:45,328
It doesn't bother you that we
haven't had sex in five days?
103
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:48,331
Hello.
104
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,333
I just don't understand
why it doesn't bother you.
105
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:53,069
It's been almost a
week. It's not a week.
106
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,705
Sunday will be a week.
What's going on with us?
107
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,674
What's going on is that
we're married five months,
108
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,931
and the sexual part is over.
109
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,947
See, I thought you
understood that. I'm sorry.
110
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,237
That's what happens now.
111
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,627
Well, I'm stumped. It beats me.
112
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,630
We know how to do this.
113
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,299
What is it... Let's
just go back to basics.
114
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,635
Arousal. Arousal.
115
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,659
Yes.
116
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,775
Arouse me.
117
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,601
How you doing? Nice to see you.
118
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:01,225
How are you? Nice
to see you. Good.
119
00:06:04,298 --> 00:06:05,298
Hmm.
120
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:08,745
What... What is this?
121
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,279
I thought we could have sex now.
122
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,981
Then we wouldn't
have to do it later.
123
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,316
Are you eating?
124
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:15,685
I'm nibbling your ear.
125
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,722
I like that.
126
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,056
And I'm going down your body.
127
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,958
I love that.
128
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:26,963
And I am kissing your knees.
129
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,820
What niece? I
don't have a niece.
130
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:31,968
Your knees.
131
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,337
Oh, my knees.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
132
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,439
Come on, get with the
program here, babe.
133
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,975
All right. Okay.
134
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,119
I'm, um... What?
135
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,148
I'm kissing your chest.
136
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,315
I'm enjoying that.
137
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:49,318
I'm enjoying watching
that from here.
138
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,486
Keep watching.
139
00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,856
Well, you bet.
140
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,325
I'm kissing down your body.
141
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:57,493
My tongue is just around
your... [phone beeps]
142
00:06:57,517 --> 00:06:59,162
Hold on a second.
I have another call.
143
00:06:59,186 --> 00:07:00,397
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
144
00:07:00,421 --> 00:07:01,986
You're right. Let's do it.
145
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,368
Just like that?
Bing, bang, boom?
146
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:08,571
At this point, I'd
settle for the boom.
147
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,873
You don't want
the bing and bang?
148
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,440
I did when we started. And now?
149
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,943
I'm over it.
150
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,578
You're a very complex woman.
151
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,713
You don't want the boom?
152
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,614
Of course I want the boom.
153
00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,616
Guys always want the boom.
154
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,351
We only made up the
whole bing and the bang
155
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,742
just to get the boom.
156
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:28,324
I thought you liked
the bing and the bang.
157
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:31,294
I love the bing and the bang. I
don't always need it. Neither do I.
158
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:32,295
So then what are we arguing...
159
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:34,159
We're not. All right.
160
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,299
"Would you say you
get along all of the time,
161
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,402
some of the time,
none of the time?"
162
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:41,959
All of the time. Yeah, right.
163
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,808
Yeah, I can't.
164
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,309
Lisa, I got to go. All right.
165
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:49,311
I will see you when you get
here. Hurry up. Good-bye.
166
00:07:49,335 --> 00:07:51,815
Okay, I get it.
You're mad. Okay.
167
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:55,484
How long are you going to go without
talking to me? A week? A month?
168
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,653
Eventually, you
got to talk to me.
169
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:59,491
You got to come home
and say, "Honey, look
170
00:07:59,515 --> 00:08:01,397
how much money we
made on your investment."
171
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:03,259
You want to know the truth?
172
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,595
We would never have had
to gone out in the first place
173
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:09,165
if you didn't let our mothers tag
team you on our damn call waiting.
174
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,599
So this whole thing is my fault?
175
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:12,101
Yeah, you're the one
who wanted call waiting.
176
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,268
I didn't want call waiting.
177
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,371
I'm perfectly happy
with a busy signal.
178
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:16,840
That's because you don't
have that many friends.
179
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,274
I have plenty of friends,
180
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,943
but I'm not so worried
about getting back to them.
181
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,111
I'm not like you. Oh, what if
someone's trying to get us?
182
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,612
What if they want to get us?
183
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,796
Well, they got us,
baby. You happy now?
184
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,118
Hey, there's my beautiful bride.
185
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:30,820
Yeah, bite me.
186
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,955
All I want you to do is
admit you were wrong.
187
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:36,192
Listen, I may have been a
few minutes too impulsive.
188
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,393
No, that's not it.
189
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,961
I was... I...
190
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,698
Listen, it's not impossible
that my judgment was impaired
191
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:42,965
by the enthusiasm...
192
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,101
Can you just say you were wrong?
193
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,203
I'm saying this is not the
most right I've ever been.
194
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,605
You are pathetic.
195
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,473
I hate that you're
being this way.
196
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,976
Well, good, because I hate that
you made plans with your sister
197
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,311
on the first Saturday I'm
not working in five weeks.
198
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,781
I didn't know you weren't
working, for the 416th time.
199
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:00,049
I said to you Thursday...
200
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,751
You said you thought
you might not have to.
201
00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:02,785
You never confirmed.
202
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,920
I never confirmed?
203
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,956
What, are you TWA?
204
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,324
Why don't you just
say it? Say what?
205
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,726
That I'm driving you nuts.
206
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,861
Why would I say that?
Because it's true, isn't it?
207
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,429
No, it's not. You can't say it?
208
00:09:13,453 --> 00:09:15,598
I'm driving you nuts. You
know what? Yes, you are.
209
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,033
You're driving me nuts.
210
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,434
Okay then.
211
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,835
No, it's not okay,
212
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:21,237
because you don't
realize what a nut...
213
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,371
You've become nuts.
214
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:23,940
You're just nuts. You're nutty.
215
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:26,275
Everything is nutty. You've
become quite the nut, my little friend.
216
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:31,414
And I'll be honest... Yes, you asked
me. Yes, you're driving me crazy.
217
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,950
Well, why didn't you
just say something?
218
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,707
Because it's all right.
219
00:09:37,644 --> 00:09:40,412
Who would you say
really runs your household?
220
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,921
Honey?
221
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,271
This is new.
222
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:14,657
How did Murray do
with the mouse today?
223
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,659
There is no mouse.
224
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,661
Oh, there's no mouse? What's
he been chasing all week?
225
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:22,665
He thinks there's a mouse, so he
runs after nothing 90 miles an hour,
226
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:28,338
and slams into the wall
with this pathetic, furry thud.
227
00:10:28,362 --> 00:10:29,627
[thud]
228
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,676
Hey, this is really low.
229
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:34,966
How do you do this?
230
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:47,660
[thud]
231
00:10:57,056 --> 00:10:58,322
[thud]
232
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:01,971
Murray, go get the mouse.
233
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,472
He doesn't want to.
234
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,974
Murray, look. Go get the
mouse. He ain't interested.
235
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,141
Here it comes, here it comes.
236
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,643
Murray, here comes the mouse.
237
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,811
Here comes the mouse.
238
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,267
[thud]
239
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,316
Son of a bitch.
240
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,607
Aw.
241
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,609
Look at you.
242
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,993
Hey, isn't that our bus?
243
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,783
All right, very good.
244
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,637
Okay. Let me see.
245
00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,338
Wait. What are you doing?
246
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,708
I just want to see if we're
winning. You can't score till the end.
247
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,010
Just give me round
numbers. Are we happy?
248
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:42,678
We're very happy.
249
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,347
I know we're happy. It's nice
to have it confirmed numerically.
250
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,016
Wouldn't that be horrible? What?
251
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,684
What if we take this whole test
252
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,019
and find out we're miserable?
253
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,353
I'd leave you.
254
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:54,023
You'd leave me?
In a heartbeat, baby.
255
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,357
That's very sweet.
256
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,026
Sure, but if the
magazine says...
257
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,360
Remember I took
that nutrition quiz,
258
00:11:58,384 --> 00:11:59,695
found that I have no potassium.
259
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,630
Got that big jar
of Banana Power.
260
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,298
Did you ever take
that Banana Power?
261
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,633
Not once.
262
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,070
Why did you buy it?
Because the magazine said.
263
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,971
There it is. Oh, no,
that's not our bus.
264
00:12:08,995 --> 00:12:10,773
All right, give me
another question.
265
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:14,231
"Does your spouse still find the
little things you do endearing?"
266
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:18,902
[slurps]
267
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,610
[slurps]
268
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:29,582
[slurps]
269
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,488
[gargles]
270
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:57,308
♪♪ [Paul hums]
271
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:07,085
[snores]
272
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,638
Hey, what are you, nuts?
273
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:19,597
We talked about
that. Don't do that.
274
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,280
You're nuts.
275
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,103
You're a big, nutty nut.
276
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,787
Watch me.
277
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,412
Voilà.
278
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:43,666
[Woman on TV] Oh, darling,
we'll never be apart, ever.
279
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,402
♪ Matty told Hatty ♪
280
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:48,771
♪ About the thing she'd done ♪
281
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:50,673
♪♪ [vocalizes]
282
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:54,343
♪ Wooly bully, wooly bully ♪
283
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,312
♪ Wooly bully ♪
284
00:13:56,336 --> 00:14:00,871
♪ Wooly bully, wooly bully ♪
285
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:27,143
How long are we
going to be doing this?
286
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:30,368
"Do you enjoy spending time
with your spouse's family?"
287
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,539
I'm going to say yes anyway.
288
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:39,654
Look, you have a husband
and I have a husband.
289
00:14:39,678 --> 00:14:42,425
We're women. We're a family.
290
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:46,328
And you can talk to
me about how you feel.
291
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:47,785
I want you to.
292
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,365
Paul, you know who I
ran into? Gloria Black.
293
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:56,839
I just don't want
to sit with Betty.
294
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,675
Betty's not coming.
It doesn't matter.
295
00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,644
You just can't seat
people willy-nilly.
296
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,278
This is not willy-nilly here.
297
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,948
You put Estelle Morris
with the depressives. Why?
298
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,950
Why do you think, Mom?
299
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,534
She's better. She's not better.
300
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,291
Listen, I wouldn't put Charlie near
the bar. You're asking for trouble.
301
00:15:16,315 --> 00:15:18,961
Oh, let's change
Charlie with Anna.
302
00:15:18,985 --> 00:15:20,295
Which one is Anna?
303
00:15:20,319 --> 00:15:21,296
The big one.
304
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,464
The Fosters are coming.
305
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,465
Yes. Where?
306
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,300
Right here. [doorbell buzzes]
307
00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:27,970
All right, nobody's
changing anything.
308
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,305
[doorbell buzzes]
[overlapping chatter]
309
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:32,975
The Gunderlatts
just bit me in the ass.
310
00:15:32,999 --> 00:15:34,309
Pop, I was getting
worried about you.
311
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,611
You'll never guess
who I saw. Who?
312
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,947
Regis Philbin. Where?
313
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,714
Downstairs. Come
on, let's go down.
314
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:40,882
I'll introduce us.
315
00:15:40,906 --> 00:15:42,151
Dad, the second
act's about to start.
316
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:43,319
We have time.
317
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,121
You know what? It
probably wasn't even him.
318
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,889
What? I don't
know Regis Philbin?
319
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,323
Yes, of course.
320
00:15:48,347 --> 00:15:51,127
You are the foremost Regis
Philbin spotter on the planet.
321
00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,194
What are you so upset about?
322
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:53,496
He's not upset. I'm not upset.
323
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,997
There he is.
324
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:56,331
Don't point at him. Where?
325
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,666
Fourth row.
326
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:59,502
All, right, Pop. Dad, come on.
327
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,836
Hey, that's him. All right.
328
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,605
Didn't I tell you? Honey,
that actually is him.
329
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,607
I'm very excited.
Okay, Dad, come on.
330
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,944
Dad... Here,
hey... Hello, Regis!
331
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,413
Hey, James, how you doing?
332
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:11,414
Good. We're just running down...
333
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,282
One thing, all right?
334
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,650
It's totally up to you,
335
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,585
but I was talking to
this buddy of mine
336
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,287
who does these comic
book conventions.
337
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,989
And again, totally up to you.
338
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,624
But if we wanted to
make a little extra money,
339
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,593
just taking your
picture with the people,
340
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,594
stuff like that... No.
341
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,628
Totally up to you. I know.
342
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:27,629
Easy money. I know.
343
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,698
I think you should move.
344
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,567
So okay, you'll think about it.
345
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,711
Your mother was
in labor for 26 hours?
346
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,306
I had a very big head.
347
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,308
Tell her I appreciated the
accommodations back then.
348
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,843
I am out now.
349
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,346
And get over the scampi.
350
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:46,315
Mrs. Buchman, hold on
one second. I got another call.
351
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,650
Hello, Buchman residence?
352
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,118
Oh, hi, Mrs. Stemple.
353
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,087
Jamie, it's your
mom. No, forget it.
354
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,421
No, she sounds happy.
355
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:53,655
Of course she sounds happy.
356
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,024
Tell her to call
back when she's not.
357
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,326
Mrs. Stemple, can
you hold on a minute?
358
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:01,096
Mrs. Buchman, can I tell you
something? Go ahead, darling.
359
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,765
Last Labor Day, when Jamie's
parents had that big barbeque...
360
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:04,934
No, no, no.
361
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:06,268
Jamie's mother spent 20 minutes
362
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,804
telling me how
wonderful you were.
363
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,773
They had a barbeque
and didn't invite us? What?
364
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,957
I'm sure she
meant to invite you.
365
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,611
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
366
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:18,613
Hold on a second.
367
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,316
Mrs. Stemple?
368
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:21,772
Uh-huh.
369
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,453
I'm going uptown.
370
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,121
Do you think that
she would like a lift?
371
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,623
That's all right.
You don't have to.
372
00:17:27,647 --> 00:17:29,325
So you don't want
me to give you a lift?
373
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:33,596
No, I would love a
lift. Thank you, Mom.
374
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,632
Did you hear that?
She called me "Mom."
375
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:38,456
You don't have to do that. Okay.
376
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:44,228
"Do you share your
fantasies with your spouse?"
377
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:47,598
Put down "Yes,
but I don't advise it."
378
00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:53,404
Brinkley, David.
Brinkley, Christie.
379
00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,221
You know, if you don't mind,
380
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,611
I'd love for you to rub
some of this oil on my back.
381
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,049
I just like this so much.
382
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,934
You know, it's
okay to do it hard.
383
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,435
I'm sorry, am I
being too gentle?
384
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,271
No, it's just perfect.
385
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:16,571
I just want you to know
386
00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,608
that you can't do it
too hard, or too soft.
387
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,278
Everything you do is just right.
388
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:25,181
That's what I think. Thank you.
389
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,615
You're being like a child.
390
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,518
You play some video game
one time, and you have to have it?
391
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:32,621
It's not a video game. I keep
telling you, it's not a video game.
392
00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,289
All right, what
is the difference?
393
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:35,791
It's so... You can't
even compare.
394
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,627
It's like on this, you can
do anything you want.
395
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,796
You can ski on the Alps.
396
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,299
You're riding a raft
through the Colorado River.
397
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,966
You're in the space shuttle.
398
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,302
You're flying over the Earth.
399
00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,969
You can sing on Broadway.
400
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,238
You're on-stage, you're singing.
401
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,306
And everything
you do, it's like...
402
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:54,076
It's like you're doing it. You're
right there. You're doing it.
403
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,778
Could we do these
things together?
404
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,313
Of course. Yeah.
405
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,015
What did you do?
406
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:02,707
I gave Christie
Brinkley a massage.
407
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,560
She had an itch.
408
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,595
Listen, it's phenomenal.
409
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,597
You really... You can't
believe what this is.
410
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:18,267
You... It's like...
411
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:19,935
I'm like... It's Christie
Brinkley, right,
412
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,603
so I'm looking at
Christie Brinkley.
413
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,605
I'm talking to
Christie Brinkley.
414
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:25,607
Christie Brinkley is
talking to me. We're talking.
415
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,610
Christie Brinkley and I
were... You could see her.
416
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,946
I could feel Christie Brinkley.
417
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,614
It's so funny.
418
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,950
They had lotion and this oil,
419
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,952
so she asked me to put
her... So I'm putting this lotion,
420
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,621
and I'm rubbing
oil right on her.
421
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:43,245
And I'm telling you, you
have never felt skin like this.
422
00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:48,753
You're a little, little man.
423
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:55,304
All right, so how did we do?
424
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,972
What, very happy?
Blissful? Ecstatic?
425
00:19:57,996 --> 00:19:58,996
What are we looking at?
426
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,644
Carry the one.
427
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:03,934
Well?
428
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:06,951
Wait a second.
429
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,323
Wow.
430
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,612
Really?
431
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:20,517
♪♪ [theme music]
432
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,538
♪ Tell me why ♪
433
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,173
♪ I love you like I do ♪
434
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,941
♪ Tell me who ♪
435
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,411
♪ Can stop my heart
as much as you ♪
436
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,346
♪ Tell me all your secrets ♪
437
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,280
♪ And I'll tell you
most of mine ♪
438
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:41,049
♪ They say nobody's perfect ♪
439
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,686
♪ Well, that's really
true this time ♪
440
00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,521
♪ I don't have the answers ♪
441
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:47,355
♪ I don't have a plan ♪
442
00:20:47,379 --> 00:20:48,924
♪ All I have is you ♪
443
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,026
♪ So darling, help
me understand ♪
444
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,828
♪ What we do ♪
445
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,029
♪ You can whisper in my ear ♪
446
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:56,932
♪ Where we go ♪
447
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,134
♪ Who knows what
happens after here? ♪
448
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,604
♪ Let's take each other's hand ♪
449
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:05,541
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier ♪
450
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,042
♪ I'm mad about you, baby ♪
451
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,345
♪ Final frontier ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
452
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:12,636
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I'm mad about you ♪
453
00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:17,440
♪ Final frontier ♪
454
00:21:24,016 --> 00:21:25,949
What do they know?
455
00:21:31,557 --> 00:21:34,517
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
456
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:40,030
♪♪ [theme]
30748
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