All language subtitles for dont trust the bitch in apartment 23 s02e11 1080p web x264-strife (1)_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,129 IS IT TOO EARLY 2 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,129 FOR A DIET SODA? 3 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,590 (bottles rattle) 4 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:06,590 IT IS NOT. 5 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:11,094 GOOD MORNING, JUNE. 6 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,221 COME. TAKE A SEAT. 7 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,641 WHY ARE YOU 8 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,641 DRESSED LIKE THAT? 9 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,058 IT HAS BEEN ONE YEAR 10 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,058 TO THE DAY 11 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,687 SINCE YOU MOVED 12 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,687 TO NEW YORK CITY. 13 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,063 OH. I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 14 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,941 IT HAS BEEN. 15 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:23,941 ARE YOU FINISHED? 16 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,860 I ASKED YOU 17 00:00:23,983 --> 00:00:25,860 TO SIT DOWN TODAY 18 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,069 SO I CAN GIVE YOU 19 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,069 YOUR ANNUAL EVALUATION. 20 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,071 (sighs) THIS IS SILLY. 21 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,071 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. 22 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:30,865 I'M GONNA 23 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:30,865 BE LATE FOR WORK. 24 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,158 YOU GOT A "D." 25 00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,158 A "D"? 26 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,453 IT'S ALL SPELLED OUT RIGHT THERE 27 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,453 ON THIS SHEET OF PAPER. 28 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,038 WHAT DID I DO 29 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,038 TO DESERVE A "D"? 30 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,290 YOU TELL ME. 31 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,506 WAS THAT IN SLO-MO 32 00:00:45,004 --> 00:00:47,506 FOR YOU, TOO? 33 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,301 (Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT 34 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,301 PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪ 35 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,887 ♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪ 36 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,805 (whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪ 37 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,805 (buzzer) 38 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:57,349 ♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪ 39 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,101 ♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪ 40 00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:03,146 (sitar music playing) 41 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,940 YOGA, RIGHT? 42 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,940 OHH. 43 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,775 THANK YOU 44 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,775 FOR INVITING ME, LUTHER. 45 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,527 THIS IS JUST 46 00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:08,527 WHAT I NEEDED. 47 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,945 OH, TELL ME ABOUT IT. 48 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,112 AFTER A LONG WORK DAY, 49 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:15,116 I LOVE TO COME HERE 50 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:15,116 AND REALLY CONNECT WITH JAMES. 51 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,036 JAMES MARTINEZ, 52 00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,036 THE INSTRUCTOR. 53 00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,161 NAMASTE, LUTHER. 54 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:21,122 NAMASTE, JAMES MARTINEZ! 55 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,542 HIS FACEBOOK SAYS 56 00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,542 HIS MOM'S IN TOWN. 57 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:28,839 I BET HE'S OFF TO TAKE HIS MOM 58 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:28,839 SOMEWHERE NICE. 59 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,425 ANYWAY, YOU SHOULD COME 60 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:31,425 TO YOGA MORE OFTEN. 61 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,801 I CAN TELL 62 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:32,801 HOW STRESSED YOU'VE BEEN 63 00:01:32,843 --> 00:01:34,511 SINCE STARTING YOUR NEW JOB. 64 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,638 WORKING ISN'T HALF AS STRESSFUL 65 00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,638 AS LIVING WITH CHLOE. 66 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,724 THIS MORNING, SHE GAVE ME 67 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,724 AN EVALUATION 68 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,225 FOR MY FIRST YEAR 69 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,225 LIVING IN NEW YORK. 70 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,936 I GOT A "D." 71 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,646 A "D"? OH, HONEY, 72 00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:44,646 THAT CAN'T BE. 73 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,565 YOU'VE GOT A GREAT JOB, 74 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:46,565 YOUR SKIN IS FLAWLESS, 75 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,817 AND I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU 76 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,817 TO HAVE APPLES. 77 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,863 WAIT. 78 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,863 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME 79 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,322 YOU WENT ON A DATE 80 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:54,322 WITH A GOOD GUY? 81 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,075 I GUESS 82 00:01:54,364 --> 00:01:56,075 IT HAS BEEN A WHILE. 83 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,035 THAT HAS GOTTA BE IT. 84 00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,160 CHLOE IS ALWAYS 85 00:01:58,077 --> 00:01:59,160 YELLING AT ME 86 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,162 TO GET SOME MORE DUDES 87 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,162 IN MY DOG HOUSE. 88 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,165 SAY NO MORE, JUNE. 89 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,165 I HAVE THE PERFECT MAN FOR YOU. 90 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,795 JAMES' AGENT HAS 91 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,795 THIS CUTE ASSISTANT, WILL. 92 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,672 I DON'T KNOW. 93 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,672 I DON'T REALLY DO BLIND DATES. 94 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,051 ALTHOUGH I CAN HEAR 95 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:14,051 CHLOE'S VOICE IN MY HEAD-- 96 00:02:14,093 --> 00:02:16,177 "WOOF, WOOF." 97 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:19,765 THAT'S HER, BARKING AT ME 98 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:19,765 AND POINTING AT MY DOG HOUSE. 99 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,975 WHAT IS HE LIKE? 100 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:22,183 WILL IS JUST YOUR TYPE-- 101 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,185 THIN, WHITE, AND PUNCTUAL. 102 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,145 (crunches) 103 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,568 I HAVEN'T BEEN TO ONE OF THESE 104 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:31,568 SMALL PORN THEATERS IN FOREVER. 105 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,861 CHLOE, THIS ISN'T 106 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:32,861 A PORN THEATER. 107 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,404 THIS IS AN ART HOUSE CINEMA. 108 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,198 THEY SCREEN 109 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:37,198 CLASSIC FILMS HERE. 110 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,700 AND PORN ON TUESDAY NIGHTS. 111 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,202 BUT IT'S THURSDAY. 112 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,202 WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 113 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,664 OH, NO REASON. WE'RE JUST HERE 114 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,664 TO WATCH "ANNIE HALL," 115 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,206 PERHAPS THE GREATEST FILM 116 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,793 BY ONE OF THE GREATEST DIRECTORS 117 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,793 OF OUR TIME, WOODY ALLEN... 118 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,461 (loudly) WHO I HAVE 119 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,461 AN AUDITION WITH! 120 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,588 YAY, JAMES! THAT'S AMAZING. 121 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,424 (scattered clapping) 122 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,424 I KNOW, RIGHT? THANK YOU. 123 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,136 THE FILM'S CALLED 124 00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,136 "MONTE CARLO, MONTE CARLA." 125 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:59,220 AH. 126 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:59,220 IT'S THE LATEST IN HIS 127 00:02:57,176 --> 00:02:59,220 AROUND THE WORLD COMEDY SERIES, 128 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,221 AND MY FIRST 129 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,221 WOODY ALLEN AUDITION 130 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,223 SINCE HE BLACKLISTED ME 131 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:02,223 TEN YEARS AGO. 132 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,225 (laughs) 133 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,061 BOY, JAZZ SUCKS, HUH? 134 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,270 RIGHT? WHAT? 135 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,065 COME ON. IT'S A DEAD ART. 136 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,065 WE WERE ALL THINKING IT! 137 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,399 THIS IS MY SHOT 138 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,399 AT REDEMPTION. 139 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,152 I GET IT, AND TO SHOW 140 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,152 MY SUPPORT OF YOU, 141 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,444 I'M GONNA BUY 142 00:03:13,192 --> 00:03:14,444 THE MOVIE TICKETS, 143 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,821 BUT THEY'RE GONNA BE 144 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,821 FOR TUESDAY, 145 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,238 AND WE'RE GONNA SEE... 146 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,367 "NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN 147 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,367 WHO LIKE BIG BUTTS." 148 00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,203 (woman) ♪ OOH, LA LA LA ♪ 149 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,499 (cell phone chimes) 150 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:31,045 "SORRY. 151 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:31,045 RUNNING 15 MINUTES LATE." 152 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,048 NOT PUNCTUAL 153 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,048 LIKE LUTHER DESCRIBED. 154 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:35,132 HI. 155 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:36,341 JUNE? 156 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,135 WILL. BUT YOU JUST TEXTED-- 157 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,261 I LIKE TO UNDERPROMISE 158 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,261 AND OVERDELIVER. 159 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,347 I CAN SEE THAT. 160 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,347 NICE TO MEET YOU. 161 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,765 NICE TO YOU, TOO. 162 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,266 MEET. THERE WAS SUPPOSED 163 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:45,266 TO BE A "MEET" 164 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,894 IN THE MIDDLE 165 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,894 OF THAT SENTENCE. 166 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,772 YOU SERVED ME 167 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,772 A MEET-LESS SENTENCE SANDWICH. 168 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,900 WHAT ARE WE 169 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,900 TALKING ABOUT? (laughs) 170 00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,900 I DON'T KNOW. (laughs) 171 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,276 (vibrating) 172 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:55,276 UM... 173 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,321 (exhales) I'M SORRY. 174 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,321 THIS IS WORK. CAN I... 175 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,656 OH, SURE. 176 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,656 (beep) 177 00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,992 THIS IS WILL. 178 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,577 UH-HUH. 179 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,453 WELL, I-I'M NOT AT MY... 180 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,165 OKAY. I'LL GET RIGHT TO IT. 181 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,290 (beep) 182 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,292 I'M SO SORRY. 183 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,293 I'VE GOTTA 184 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,293 HEAD BACK TO THE OFFICE. 185 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:15,130 IS THERE ANY WAY THAT... 186 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,298 THAT WE CAN DO THIS EXACT 187 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,298 SAME THING TOMORROW NIGHT? 188 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,385 TOMORROW'S GREAT. 189 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,385 I'LL... YOU THEN. 190 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,303 YOU LEFT OUT "SEE" 191 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,303 ON PURPOSE. 192 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,264 I DID. 193 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,809 UGH. FORGOT THE OLIVES. 194 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:28,810 JUNE! 195 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:29,728 JUNE, HEY. DO WE HAVE 196 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:29,728 ANY OLIVES? 197 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,730 YEAH, THEY'RE IN THE FRIDGE. 198 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,315 (whining) EH. 199 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,316 SCREW IT. 200 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,236 GUESS WHAT? 201 00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,236 I'M NOT TELLING YOU THIS 202 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,320 BECAUSE I CARE 203 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,320 ABOUT YOUR DUMB GRADE, 204 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,782 BUT I AM GOING 205 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,782 ON A DATE TONIGHT. 206 00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:42,991 A SECOND DATE. 207 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,367 OOH, LOOK AT YOU, 208 00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:44,367 UPPING YOUR GAME. 209 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,703 THIS COULD BODE VERY WELL 210 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,703 FOR NEXT YEAR'S EVAL. 211 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,163 HOW MANY TIMES 212 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,163 HAVE YOU HAD SEX WITH HIM? 213 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,706 ZERO. WE'VE ONLY BEEN 214 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,706 ON ONE DATE. 215 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,374 (sighs) 216 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,334 (grunting) 217 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,255 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 218 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,255 SEEING IF YOUR "V" 219 00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,255 HAS BEEN STOLEN. 220 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,338 OH, GET OUT OF THERE. 221 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,339 YOU KNOW I DON'T DO THINGS 222 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,339 THAT WAY. 223 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,967 YOU DON'T DO THINGS 224 00:04:58,381 --> 00:04:59,967 ANY WAY. 225 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,718 THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 226 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,718 YOU DATE LIKE A QUAKER. 227 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,554 WE'LL SEE. MAYBE WE'LL SIT 228 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,554 ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE BOOTH, 229 00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,347 OR SPLIT A SWEET CREPE. 230 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,348 QUAKER WORDS! 231 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,601 I'LL BE AT 232 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,601 A GALLERY OPENING. 233 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,352 GONNA TRY 234 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,352 AND TURN SOME GAYS. 235 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,272 IT'S FUN. IT'S A SPORT. 236 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,648 AN OLYMPIC SPORT? 237 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,566 YEAH. MAYBE. 238 00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,860 (woman) ♪ OOH, LA LA LA ♪ 239 00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:20,862 AND SHE WAS JUST... PEEING? 240 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,405 YES. IN THE STREET. 241 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,867 BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. 242 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,867 GORGEOUS DRESS. PEEING. 243 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,953 AND SHE LOOKED OVER AT ME, 244 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,953 AND SHE GOES... 245 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,537 "SHH." 246 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,537 AW. 247 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,290 (vibrating) 248 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,251 (beep) 249 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,251 OH, IT'S THAT SAME CLIENT 250 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:34,251 FROM YESTERDAY. 251 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,295 BUT I'M--I'M NOT GONNA LET IT 252 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,295 RUIN OUR DATE A SECOND TIME. 253 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,378 IS IT JAMES? 254 00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,378 I BET IT'S JAMES. 255 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,672 NO, NO. 256 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,672 JAMES IS GREAT. 257 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,299 HE--HE JUST ASKS FOR 258 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:40,299 NORMAL STUFF LIKE SCRIPTS. 259 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,550 BUT WE ALSO REPRESENT 260 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,550 THIS OBNOXIOUS NOVELIST. 261 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,550 MM. 262 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,386 MY BOSS, DONNIE, IS CONVINCED 263 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,386 THAT SPAULDING IS A GENIUS, 264 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,472 SO I HAVE TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS 265 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:47,472 FOR SOME MANIAC. 266 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,224 I CAN TOTALLY RELATE. 267 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,392 MY ROOMMATE DRIVES ME NUTS. 268 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,271 SHE HAS RUINED AT LEAST 269 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,271 SIX OF MY HATS. 270 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,106 HAS SHE, UH, ORDERED YOU 271 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,106 TO GET CHARO TICKETS? 272 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,774 BECAUSE THAT'S 273 00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,774 WHAT I'M DEALING WITH. 274 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,777 HERE--CALL ME. DO YOU WANNA SEE 275 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:00,777 WHAT SPAULDING DID TO MY PHONE? 276 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,613 I'LL--I'LL--I'LL TURN ON 277 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,613 THE, UH, THE VOLUME. 278 00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,199 (vibrating) 279 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,407 (Charo's voice) CUCHI CUCHI. 280 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,407 CUCHI CUCHI. 281 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,492 (laughs) 282 00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:07,492 (laughs) 283 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,452 RIDICULOUS, RIGHT? 284 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,334 CUCHI SMOOCHIE. 285 00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,252 THAT WAS A NICE MOMENT, 286 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,213 AND I RUINED IT. 287 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,422 NOT--NOT THAT 288 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,422 I'M SORRY THAT I DID IT, 289 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,423 'CAUSE I'M NOT A QUAKER. 290 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,634 YOU'RE WEIRD. 291 00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,303 I LIKE YOU. 292 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:30,807 HEY, WILL. 293 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:30,807 SO I JUST GOT HOME. 294 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,434 I-I HAD 295 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,434 A REALLY GREAT TIME TONIGHT. 296 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,811 (Will) Me, too. 297 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,271 So there's this new 298 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,271 Thai place we should... 299 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,271 (Call Waiting beeps) 300 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,023 Oh. Hold--hold on. 301 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,274 (scoffs) It's Spaulding. 302 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,274 Let me call you back. 303 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,525 SURE. 304 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:40,525 (beep) 305 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,443 WILL? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG 306 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,443 TO PICK UP? 307 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,445 THAT WAS TWO RINGS. 308 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,445 AND WHERE ARE MY CHARO TICKETS? 309 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,073 (beep) 310 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,073 FRIGGIN' IDIOT. 311 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,449 I SWEAR TO GOD, 312 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,449 WHEN MOTHERS BIRTH MORONS, 313 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,535 ARE THEY DOING IT 314 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,535 JUST TO UPSET ME? 315 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,745 (door slams) 316 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,541 YOU'RE SPAULDING? 317 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,293 YEAH, 318 00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:58,293 CRISTINA GARDIACOS SPAULDING. 319 00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,460 THAT'S MY PEN NAME. 320 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,921 WAIT. 321 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,921 HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 322 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,463 I'M DATING WILL. 323 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,463 WHAT?! 324 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,465 WHY ARE YOU DATING 325 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,465 MY AGENT'S ASSISTANT? 326 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,134 WHY DO YOU HAVE AN AGENT? 327 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,095 JAMES AND I WANTED TO GET 328 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,095 BACKSTAGE AT THE GRAMMYS. 329 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,304 HE CALLED UP HIS AGENT, 330 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,847 WILL SHOWED UP 331 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,847 WITH BACKSTAGE PASSES, 332 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,183 AND WITHIN THE HOUR, 333 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,183 I WAS GETTING WRECKED 334 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,475 IN A DRESSING ROOM 335 00:07:13,225 --> 00:07:14,475 WITH CEE LO. 336 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,894 FUNNY TWIST--IT WASN'T 337 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:15,894 ACTUALLY CEE LO. 338 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,312 IT WAS A BOTTLE 339 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,312 OF CHOCOLATE SYRUP. 340 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,730 ANYWAY, 341 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:18,730 THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED 342 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,524 I NEED THIS KIND OF STUFF 343 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,524 TO HAPPEN ALL THE TIME. 344 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,902 I NEEDED 345 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,902 AN AGENT'S ASSISTANT. 346 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,486 BUT YOU'RE NOT A WRITER. 347 00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,487 YES, I AM. 348 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,782 I HAVE A PEN NAME, AND I WROTE 349 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,782 TWO PAGES OF A NOVEL 350 00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,367 CALLED "FIGS FOR MARIE." 351 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,286 I GAVE IT TO JAMES' AGENT, 352 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,286 AND HE SIGNED ME ON THE SPOT. 353 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,496 CHLOE, YOU CAN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE 354 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:35,496 OF WILL LIKE THIS. 355 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,664 TAKE ADVANTAGE? 356 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,376 JUNE, I GIVE MY AGENT 10% 357 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,376 OF EVERYTHING I MAKE. 358 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,295 TECHNICALLY, 359 00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,295 I'M PAYING WILL'S SALARY. 360 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,670 BUT YOU'RE NOT MAKING THEM 361 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,670 ANY MONEY. 362 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,423 EXACTLY. 363 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,508 I MAKE NOTHING, 364 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,508 AND I STILL GIVE THEM 10%. 365 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,136 THAT'S HOW GOOD 366 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,136 OF A PERSON I AM, JUNE. 367 00:07:49,177 --> 00:07:51,305 NO. WILL IS A GOOD PERSON. 368 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,099 BY "GOOD," YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T 369 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:54,099 MEAN GOOD AT HIS JOB. EXAMPLES-- 370 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:55,183 HE PUTS ME ON HOLD. 371 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,810 I WENT TO VOICE MAIL 372 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,810 LAST WEEK, 373 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,519 AND HE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN ME 374 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,519 THOSE TICKETS. 375 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,523 DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT 376 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:02,523 CHARO IS TO ME? DO YOU? 377 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:03,817 SHE'S MY CHER. 378 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,367 YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND YOUR 379 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,367 ANSWER IN THAT BOTTLE, JUNE. 380 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,535 ONCE AGAIN, CHLOE HA-- 381 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,913 BEFORE I EXPLAIN, HOW LONG 382 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,913 HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING? 383 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,206 I'VE HEARD ENOUGH 384 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,206 TO COMMENT. 385 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,834 HOW AM I GONNA TELL WILL 386 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,834 THAT WE HAVE THE SAME BITCH? 387 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,252 HE'LL PROBABLY 388 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,252 THINK IT'S FUNNY, 389 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,545 LIKE, IN A SMALL WORLD, 390 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,545 WHAT-ARE-THE-ODDS KIND OF A WAY. 391 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,547 LIKE HOW ME AND GERALD FORD 392 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,547 HAVE THE SAME BIRTHDAY. 393 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,549 JACK NICHOLSON 394 00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:28,549 AND PETER FRAMPTON. 395 00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,427 HUH. TWO TALENTS. 396 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,095 SEE? WHAT ARE THE ODDS? 397 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,557 (knock on door) 398 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,559 (whispers) 399 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:38,559 IT'S HERE. IT'S HERE. 400 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,602 OH! (giggles) 401 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,604 (exhales deeply) 402 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,151 (exhales deeply) 403 00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,151 IT'S BEEN TEN YEARS 404 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,363 SINCE I'VE HELD SCRIPT PAGES 405 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,363 BY WOODY ALLEN. 406 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,572 THE NAME OF THE FILM 407 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,572 IS "MONTE CARLO, MONTE CARLA." 408 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,574 OBVIOUSLY, I WILL BE CARLO. 409 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:54,617 YOU READ CARLA. 410 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,577 (clears throat) 411 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,039 (European accent) "CARLO, 412 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,039 WHY ARE YOU ACTING THIS WAY?" 413 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,581 "BECAUSE, CARLA, 414 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,417 I'M A WOMAN." 415 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,627 WHOA. COMPLEX CHARACTER. 416 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,753 LUTHER, KEEP READING. 417 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,839 "I AM GLAD 418 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,839 THAT YOU ARE A WOMAN, CARLO, 419 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,590 BECAUSE I'M A MAN." 420 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,800 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 421 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,800 WHAT--WHAT--WHAT'S HAPPENING? 422 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,302 I DON'T KNOW 423 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,302 WHAT'S HAPPENING. 424 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,762 WHATEVER IT IS... 425 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,762 IT IS GOOD. 426 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,764 (gasps) 427 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,764 (phone rings) 428 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,599 (ring) 429 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,767 DONNIE JARVIS' OFFICE. 430 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,602 WILL, I JUST GOT 431 00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,602 THE SCRIPT PAGES. 432 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,521 I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CHARACTER 433 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,521 I'M SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING. 434 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,771 Already on it, James. 435 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,857 MY FRIEND OVER AT HIS PRODUCTION 436 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,857 COMPANY FILLED ME IN. 437 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:26,900 OH, IS DARLA STILL THERE? 438 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,609 DARLA'S BEEN DEAD 439 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,609 FOR FIVE YEARS. 440 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,195 HERE'S THE DEAL-- 441 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,195 THE FILM TAKES PLACE 442 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,613 AT A MENS'-ONLY BACCARAT ROOM 443 00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,613 IN MONTE CARLO. 444 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,115 THE FEMALE LEAD DRESSES UP 445 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,115 AS A MAN TO SNEAK IN, 446 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,616 BUT LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW 447 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,036 that a male journalist 448 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,036 is dressing up as a woman 449 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,620 TO EXPOSE THE ARCHAIC RULES 450 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,620 OF THE CASINO. 451 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,082 AGAINST ALL ODDS, 452 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,082 THEY FALL IN LOVE. 453 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,501 OHH. OF COURSE. (laughs) 454 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,835 YOU'RE AMAZING, WILL. 455 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:45,835 THANK YOU. 456 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,546 (beep) 457 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,546 WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT? 458 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,922 I FOUND OUT 459 00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,922 THAT IF I GET THIS ROLE, 460 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,591 I'M GONNA WIN 461 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,591 AN ACADEMY AWARD. 462 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:51,591 (gasps) 463 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,635 SO DOES JAMES 464 00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,635 KISS YOU HELLO? 465 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,636 HE'S ALWAYS 466 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,636 KISSING ME HELLO. 467 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:56,888 (laughs) 468 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,639 FUNNY. SO... 469 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,641 DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT... 470 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:00,641 I DON'T KNOW, 471 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,894 HOW SMALL, UH, THE WORLD IS? 472 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,645 EVERY TIME I SEE 473 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,645 MY BUTCHER AT THE GYM. 474 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,856 MM. WELL, IT TURNS OUT... 475 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,276 MY BITCH IS YOUR BITCH. 476 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,238 I FOUND OUT LAST NIGHT 477 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,238 THAT MY ROOMMATE CHLOE 478 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,450 IS YOUR OBNOXIOUS NOVELIST. 479 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,450 HER PEN NAME IS SPAULDING. 480 00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:19,160 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 481 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,662 WOW. THAT'S CRAZY. 482 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,662 THAT--I CANNOT BELIEVE 483 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,541 THAT WE BOTH HAVE TO DEAL 484 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,541 WITH THE SAME... 485 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,750 NUT CASE EVERY DAY. 486 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,669 YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 487 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,669 SHE--SHE IS A TOTAL NUT CASE. 488 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,671 BUT I'VE LIVED WITH HER 489 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,671 FOR A YEAR, 490 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,674 AND I KNOW THAT 491 00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:33,674 DEEP, DEEP, DEEP... 492 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,136 DEEP, DEEP DOWN... 493 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,136 MM. 494 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,346 THAT SHE IS 495 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,346 A REALLY GOOD PERSON. 496 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,973 AND I BET THAT IF 497 00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,973 WE ALL GOT TOGETHER, 498 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,475 AND SHE HAD 499 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:41,475 A CHANCE TO KNOW YOU, 500 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,684 THAT THERE IS NO WAY 501 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,684 THAT SHE'D BE ABLE 502 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:47,314 TO CONTINUE 503 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:47,314 TO TREAT YOU BADLY. 504 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,690 OKAY. 505 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,943 BUT ONLY IF 506 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,943 YOU BUY THESE DRINKS. 507 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,861 YOU'VE GOT IT. 508 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,861 I'M KIDDING. GIVE ME THAT. 509 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,280 NO. 510 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,280 I'M SERIOUS. GIVE ME THAT. 511 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,156 NO. 512 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,156 I'M GONNA HAVE TO 513 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,156 TICKLE YOU. 514 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,282 YOU CAN'T HAVE IT. 515 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,575 (laughing) NO. NO. 516 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:58,575 TICKLING... 517 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,952 LOOK, GUYS, I UNDERSTAND 518 00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:00,952 YOU'RE TICKLING EACH OTHER, 519 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,703 BUT THIS IS A POPULAR PLACE. 520 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,122 IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA 521 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,122 ORDER ANOTHER ROUND, 522 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,624 I'M GONNA NEED THESE SEATS. 523 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,004 (exhales) GREAT REHEARSAL, 524 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,004 LUTHER. 525 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,964 I THINK WE'VE EARNED OURSELVES 526 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,964 AN AFTERNOON SNACK. 527 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,550 PEANUT BUTTER AND BANANA 528 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:15,550 ON WHEAT FOR YOU, 529 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,717 COLESLAW FOR ME. 530 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,676 (cell phone chimes) 531 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,515 DONNIE JUST SENT ME 532 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,515 AN E-MAIL. 533 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:22,765 HE SCHEDULED MY AUDITION 534 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:22,765 FOR 9:00 A.M. 535 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,101 9:00 A.M.? 536 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,101 THAT'S WAY TOO EARLY. 537 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,727 YOU'RE PUFFY. 538 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,727 YOU'RE SLEEPY. 539 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,313 MY INSTRUMENT IS COLD. 540 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,815 WHICH IS THE EXACT REASON 541 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,815 I KNITTED YOU THAT SCARF. 542 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,651 I'M NOT WEARING 543 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,651 A SCARF TO BED, LUTHER. 544 00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:33,943 WELL, YOU'RE NOT WEARING IT 545 00:11:32,691 --> 00:11:33,943 OUTSIDE, EITHER, 546 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,987 SO WHY DON'T I JUST 547 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,987 THROW IT IN THE TRASH? 548 00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:38,990 (sighs) 549 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,660 I'LL CALL WILL. 550 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,660 HE'LL FIX THIS. 551 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:41,660 (beep) 552 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:43,036 (telephone rings) 553 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,745 SAW IT. CHANGED IT. 554 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,745 YOU'RE AT 3:45. 555 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,540 OH! THE PERFECT AUDITION TIME. 556 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,748 YOUR STOMACH 557 00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:47,748 HAS FLATTENED SINCE LUNCH, 558 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,042 BUT YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY YET. 559 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,042 THANK YOU. 560 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,335 (beep) 561 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,004 WHEW. DISASTER AVERTED. 562 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,004 THANK GOD. 563 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,756 I'M SORRY, JAMES. I JUST 564 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,756 REALIZED YOU HAVE NO BANANAS. 565 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,758 I HAVE TO GET NEW BANANAS. 566 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,969 THAT'S AN AMAZING 567 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,969 VOCAL EXERCISE. 568 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,013 NO BANANAS, NEW BANANAS. 569 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:02,013 NO BANANAS, NEW BANANAS. 570 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,015 NO BANANAS, NEW BANANAS. 571 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,015 NO BANANAS, NEW BANANAS. 572 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,266 NO BANANAS, NEW BANANAS. 573 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,685 NO BA-- 574 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:06,685 NO BANANAS, NEW BA-- 575 00:12:06,725 --> 00:12:07,726 JUST ME. 576 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:16,361 OH. SO CHARO 577 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:16,361 OWNS THIS PLACE? 578 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,779 OH, MY GOD. MY AGENT'S 579 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,779 ASSISTANT IS HERE. DON'T LOOK. 580 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,616 CHLOE, I INVITED WILL HERE 581 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:21,616 BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE HIM, 582 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,951 AND I WANT YOU 583 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,951 TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE. 584 00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,951 GROSS. 585 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,662 OH, NO, CHLOE, 586 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,662 I LIKE WILL. 587 00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:26,871 AND I'M GONNA DATE WILL, 588 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,789 AND I CAN'T DO THAT IF YOU 589 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,789 KEEP MAKING HIM MISERABLE. 590 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,791 SO JUST TRY AND GET 591 00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,791 TO KNOW HIM AS A PERSON 592 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,960 AND NOT AS AN ASSISTANT. 593 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:34,795 COME ON. I'M BUYING. 594 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,715 OKAY, FINE. BUT I'M NOT 595 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,715 DOING THIS FOR YOU. 596 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,216 I'M DOING THIS FOR CHARO. 597 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,176 SHE COULD USE THE MONEY 598 00:12:38,258 --> 00:12:40,176 AFTER CUCHI WORLD 599 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,761 NEARLY BURNT DOWN 600 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,761 HALF OF ENCINO. 601 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,642 (June) HEY. 602 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:47,642 (Will) HI. 603 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,605 (sniffs) 604 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,607 (vibrating) 605 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,982 (beep) 606 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,982 THIS IS WILL. 607 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,693 GET ME A TOWN CAR. 608 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,693 MY ROOMMATE TRICKED ME 609 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,111 INTO HANGING OUT 610 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,111 WITH HER ANNOYING BOYFRIEND. 611 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,822 EW. HE'S STARING AT ME 612 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,822 RIGHT NOW. 613 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,742 (beep) 614 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,742 HA HA HA. 615 00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,076 (beep) 616 00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,076 THAT'S FUNNY. 617 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,746 SHE CALLED YOU FROM 618 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,746 RIGHT ACROSS THE TABLE. 619 00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,290 (laughs) 620 00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,290 NO. THAT ISN'T FUNNY. 621 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,833 I AM DONE TAKING YOUR CALLS 622 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,833 WHEN I'M NOT AT WORK. 623 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,503 THIS IS MY PERSONAL TIME. 624 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,503 I WANNA SPEND IT WITH JUNE. 625 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:16,837 IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN US, 626 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,508 THEN STOP TREATING ME 627 00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:20,508 LIKE YOUR ERRAND BOY. 628 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,428 I LIKE THIS SIDE OF YOU. 629 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,638 YOU'RE LIKE A HOMELESS LADY 630 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,056 WITH JUST ENOUGH FIGHT 631 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,056 INSIDE OF HER TO SURVIVE WINTER. 632 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,851 SERVANT! SANGRIA, PLEASE! 633 00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,229 SO I WAS LIKE, 634 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,148 "OF COURSE I CAN SLEEP 635 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:35,148 AT MACHU PICCHU. 636 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,733 MY GRANDFATHER BUILT 637 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:36,733 THIS PLACE." 638 00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:37,734 (laughs) 639 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,860 AMAZING. I HAVE GOTTA 640 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:39,860 GET TO PERU. 641 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,280 WELL, YOU GUYS, 642 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,280 THIS HAS BEEN VERY FUN, 643 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,865 BUT I THINK IT'S TIME I LEFT 644 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,865 YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS ALONE. 645 00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:48,244 DON'T FORGET YOUR TICKETS. 646 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,580 I WAS WRONG 647 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,580 ABOUT YOU, WILL. 648 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,706 YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO 649 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:51,706 WORRY ABOUT ME 650 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,874 INTERFERING WITH 651 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,874 YOUR RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE. 652 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:56,877 (giggles) 653 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,879 WOW, I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. 654 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,879 YOU WERE RIGHT. 655 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,048 SHE IS ACTUALLY 656 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,048 PRETTY COOL. 657 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,048 MM-HMM. 658 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,759 (vibrating) 659 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,886 IT'S MY BOSS. 660 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:05,886 HEY, DONNIE. WHAT'S UP? 661 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:06,805 WILL, MY MAN. 662 00:14:06,845 --> 00:14:07,888 Just got off the phone 663 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,516 with our favorite novelist. 664 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,891 She said you two 665 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,891 had dinner tonight. 666 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,769 YEAH, YEAH. WE WERE JUST-- 667 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,769 YEAH, SHE'S PRETTY UPSET. 668 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:13,894 Here's the thing, buddy-- 669 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:14,937 I'M ALL IN ON SPAULDING. 670 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,939 I CAN'T RISK 671 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,939 HER LEAVING THE AGENCY, 672 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,441 SO I'M SORRY, 673 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,441 BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE. 674 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,737 (beep) 675 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,737 CHLOE JUST GOT ME FIRED. 676 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:23,863 (door slams) 677 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,036 AHH. 678 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,913 (door opens) 679 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,208 (slams door) 680 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,208 YOU GOT WILL FIRED. 681 00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,835 JUNE, I'M TRYING TO READ. 682 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,713 WHY DO YOU DO THESE THINGS? 683 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,713 WE HAD SUCH A NICE TIME TONIGHT. 684 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,297 YEAH, 685 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,297 AND I REALLY LIKED HIM. 686 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,633 AND HE TOTALLY EARNED MY RESPECT 687 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,633 WHEN HE STOOD UP TO ME. 688 00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,218 I THINK HE'S GREAT FOR YOU. 689 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:46,427 THEN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? 690 00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:47,637 HE'S TERRIBLE FOR ME. 691 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,096 I CAN'T HAVE 692 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:49,096 MY AGENT'S ASSISTANT 693 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,640 STANDING UP TO ME LIKE THAT. 694 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,141 I NEED SOMEBODY 695 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,141 I CAN BOSS AROUND. 696 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226 SO YOU TWO CAN 697 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:53,226 BE TOGETHER, 698 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,769 AND JARVIS CAN HIRE 699 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,769 SOMEBODY ELSE 700 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,604 TO RECEIVE 701 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,604 MY NUMEROUS FAXES. 702 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,984 SO... 703 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:03,611 THIS IS BACCARAT? 704 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,154 I HATE IT. 705 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,865 (cell phone chimes and vibrates) 706 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,243 WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO, 707 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,243 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 708 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,952 (rings, beep) 709 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,952 YOU GOT JARVIS. 710 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:12,953 Donnie. Hey. 711 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,330 LISTEN, YEAH, 712 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,330 I NEED TO TALK TO WILL. 713 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,249 (laughs) No need 714 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,249 to go through Will. 715 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,418 YOU GOT THE MAN AT THE TOP. 716 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,418 Uh... 717 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,960 OKAY. WELL, LISTEN, UH, 718 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,796 MY AUDITION TOMORROW--THERE 719 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,796 SEEMS TO BE SOME CONFUSION. 720 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,757 IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE 721 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,757 AT 3:45, NOT 9:00 A.M. 722 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:24,965 What's wrong with 9:00 A.M.? 723 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,967 JUST GET IN THERE, 724 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,967 GET IT OVER WITH. 725 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:27,968 Get it over with? 726 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,470 WHAT ARE... I... 727 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,180 (stammers) 728 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:31,180 PUT WILL ON THE PHONE. 729 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,849 I'm gonna be real 730 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,849 with you, James, 731 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,016 THAT'S GONNA REQUIRE 732 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,016 A CONFERENCE CALL, 733 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,810 AND I DO NOT KNOW 734 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,810 HOW TO DO THAT. 735 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,895 WHAT'S GOING ON? 736 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,895 WHERE'S WILL? 737 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,978 Fired. 738 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,022 I FIRED HIM. 739 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,022 (phone rings) 740 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,399 ALL RIGHT. 741 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:41,399 JODIE FOSTER'S CALLIN'. 742 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:42,567 I'M GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THIS. 743 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:43,568 (beep) 744 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,028 JODIE! YOU GOT JARVIS. 745 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,029 DAMN IT. 746 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,030 (beep) 747 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,031 HOW THE HELL DO YOU-- 748 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,031 (beep) 749 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,157 JO-- 750 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,157 (beep) 751 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,368 (beep) 752 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,368 JODIE. Jo-Fo. 753 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,494 You there, gal? 754 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,579 (knock on door) 755 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,581 Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, 756 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,581 Jodie, Jodie, Jodie. 757 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,582 (beep) 758 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,417 JAMES, I NEED YOUR HELP. 759 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,835 JUNE, I WOULD LOVE 760 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,835 TO HELP YOU. 761 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,378 HELPING PEOPLE IS WHAT 762 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,378 I SAY IS MY THING. 763 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,004 BUT I GOT PROBLEMS 764 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,004 OF MY OWN. 765 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,214 MY AGENT'S ASSISTANT-- 766 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,214 I KNOW. 767 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,258 I'M DATING WILL, AND CHLOE 768 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,258 JUST GOT HIM FIRED. 769 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,175 WHAT? 770 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,886 CHLOE WROTE 771 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,886 TWO PAGES OF A NOVEL 772 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,095 SO SHE COULD 773 00:16:09,928 --> 00:16:11,095 GET REPPED BY DONNIE, 774 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,431 SO THAT WILL 775 00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:13,431 COULD BE HER ERRAND BOY. 776 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,724 AND NOW HE WON'T 777 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,724 TALK TO ME. 778 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,016 YOU'VE GOTTA 779 00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,016 GET HIM HIS JOB BACK. 780 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:17,268 (sighs) 781 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,979 UGH. LUTHER, MY PHONE. 782 00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,278 OH. SORRY, LUTHER. 783 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,905 IF I'D KNOWN 784 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,905 MY PHONE WAS IN MY POCKET, 785 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,824 I WOULDN'T HAVE 786 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:30,824 ASKED YOU FOR IT. 787 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,450 THAT SAID, I LIKED NOT HAVING 788 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,450 TO DO THAT MYSELF. 789 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,034 LET'S ADD "COMPREHENSIVE 790 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,034 PHONE RETRIEVAL" 791 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,286 TO YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION. 792 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,788 MM. 793 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,250 DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME? 794 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:44,044 HMM? THIS IS MY CAREER. 795 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,131 THIS IS NOT A DATING SERVICE. 796 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,131 THIS IS NOT A CONCIERGE. 797 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,759 I DID NOT EMANCIPATE MYSELF 798 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,759 AT THE AGE OF 14, 799 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,051 THEN HIRE MY UNCLE 800 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,051 AS MY MANAGER, 801 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,345 THEN FIRE HIM, 802 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:52,345 THEN HIRE MY MOTHER, 803 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,806 THEN FIRE HER, AND THEN 804 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,806 HIRE MY UNCLE BACK FOR THIS. 805 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,477 DONNIE, LOOK AT ME. 806 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,477 WHAT DO YOU SEE? 807 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,061 I SEE THE BEST. 808 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,730 THAT'S RIGHT. SO HERE'S WHAT 809 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,730 YOU'RE GONNA DO-- 810 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:03,648 YOU'RE GONNA HIRE WILL BACK 811 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,065 SO HE CAN GET ME 812 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,065 THAT 3:45 AUDITION TIME. 813 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,276 OTHERWISE, I HAVE NO CHOICE 814 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,276 BUT TO LEAVE THE AGENCY. 815 00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:08,528 BINGO BANGO, JAMES. 816 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,071 WILL, WELCOME BACK. 817 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,071 HAVE A RAISE. 818 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:11,948 THANKS, DONNIE. 819 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,240 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 820 00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:13,240 I'M SORRY. 821 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:15,075 DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS? 822 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,495 CHLOE, ENOUGH. STOP PRETENDING 823 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,495 TO BE A NOVELIST 824 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,539 SO YOU CAN BADGER WILL 825 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,539 FOR FREE STUFF. 826 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,081 I AM NOT PRETENDING. 827 00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,750 (Donnie) SHE'S A TALENT, JAMES. 828 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,084 SHE'S ONLY GIVEN ME TWO PAGES, 829 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,962 BUT THEY'RE SO AMAZING, 830 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,962 I KNOW THEM BY HEART. 831 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,756 "AS THE SUN SET 832 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:28,756 OVER THE GREAT DIVIDE, 833 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,008 "BUTTERFLIES 834 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,008 RAINED DOWN ON MARIE 835 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,552 LIKE FIGS IN JULY." 836 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,552 (mouths words) 837 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,387 MY WORDS. 838 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,973 (gasps) JAMES! 839 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,975 SHE STOLE MY NOVEL! 840 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:42,603 THOSE ARE MY EXACT WORDS, 841 00:17:39,017 --> 00:17:42,603 IN MY EXACT WORD ORDER! 842 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,146 SHE'S A FAKE. 843 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,146 OF COURSE SHE IS. 844 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106 I'M ABOUT TO 845 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106 SLAP ME A PLAGIARIST! 846 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,484 LUTHER. LUTHER. 847 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:48,484 PUT THAT HAND DOWN. 848 00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,152 YOU ARE NOT INNOCENT IN THIS. 849 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,779 IF YOU HADN'T TRIED 850 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,779 TO SET UP WILL AND JUNE, 851 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,113 NONE OF THIS 852 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,113 WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. 853 00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:55,115 YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE. 854 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,035 I'M REVOKING THE VISION PORTION 855 00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,035 OF YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE. 856 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,369 OH, NO. 857 00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,620 OH, JAMES, COME ON. 858 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,121 IT'S NOT LUTHER'S FAULT. 859 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,121 IT'S MINE. 860 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,916 LOVE IS YOUR FAULT, JUNE? 861 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,124 LET ME TELL YOU 862 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,124 WHAT I THINK ABOUT LOVE-- 863 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,126 I BELIEVE IN IT. 864 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,128 AND I BELIEVE THAT YOU AND WILL 865 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,128 AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP 866 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,589 IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS, 867 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,925 AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T INTERFERE 868 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:11,925 WITH MY BUSINESS. 869 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,634 ARE WE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE? 870 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:14,928 YES. 871 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:14,928 YEAH. 872 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,262 (deep voice) NO. 873 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,351 IT TOOK ME YEARS 874 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,351 TO WRITE THAT NOVEL. 875 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,144 FOUR TRIPS TO GEORGIA 876 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,146 RESEARCHING 877 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:26,146 BUTTERFLY MATING PATTERNS. 878 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,943 AND IT SHOWS, WHICH IS WHY 879 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:29,943 I CHOSE YOUR WORK TO STEAL. 880 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,070 OH. IT DOES SHOW, 881 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,070 DOESN'T IT? 882 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,822 EACH WORD IS THERE 883 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,822 FOR A REASON, YOU KNOW? 884 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,033 NOTHING GRATUITOUS. 885 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:37,033 NOTHING UNNECESSARY. 886 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,159 "GRATUITOUS" AND "UNNECESSARY" 887 00:18:37,075 --> 00:18:39,159 ARE THE SAME THING. 888 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,787 I WILL KILL YOU! 889 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, 890 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162 NO, NO, NO, NO. 891 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162 JAMES? 892 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,749 WHERE'S THE PORCELAIN WOLF 893 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,749 I BOUGHT YOU FOR CHRISTMAS? 894 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,085 SO... 895 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,170 YOU GOT YOUR JOB BACK. 896 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:50,170 WE CAN CELEBRATE? 897 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,548 UM, CHLOE SOLD ME 898 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,548 HER CHARO TICKETS. 899 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,175 JUNE, LET'S BE CLEAR-- 900 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,175 I REALLY WANT TO SEE 901 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,261 SOME FEISTY LATINA ENTERTAINMENT 902 00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,261 WITH YOU. 903 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,180 (laughs) 904 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,180 BUT THIS CHAOS WITH CHLOE 905 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,180 IS GETTING IN THE WAY. 906 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,182 I MEAN, SHE GOT ME FIRED. 907 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,102 WHY ARE YOU 908 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,102 STILL LIVING WITH HER? 909 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,186 YOU MAKE GOOD MONEY NOW. 910 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,186 YOU CAN MOVE. 911 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,480 I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S... 912 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,189 SHE'S MY ROOMMATE. 913 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,776 BUILDING. BUILDING. 914 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:11,776 BUILDING. 915 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:15,195 THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF OTHER 916 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:15,195 APARTMENTS YOU COULD LIVE IN, 917 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,364 ALL WITH SANER PEOPLE 918 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,364 IN THEM. 919 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:21,201 YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T HAVE TO 920 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:21,201 LIVE WITH CHLOE ANYMORE. 921 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,079 BUT I WANT TO. 922 00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,080 WHY? 923 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,665 BECAUSE SHE PUSHES ME 924 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,665 TO DO STUFF 925 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,416 I'D NEVER DO ON MY OWN. 926 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,209 IF SHE HADN'T 927 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,209 GIVEN ME A "D," 928 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,211 I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE 929 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,211 ON A BLIND DATE WITH YOU. 930 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,673 AND I NEVER WOULD HAVE 931 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:33,673 KISSED YOU IN THAT RESTAURANT 932 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,133 IF SHE HADN'T CALLED ME 933 00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,133 A QUAKER. 934 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:40,220 50-YEAR-OLD SCOTCH? 935 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:40,220 (laughs) WHAT? 936 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,221 I GUESS I JUST 937 00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,221 DON'T UNDERSTAND. 938 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,223 SO LET ME BE CLEAR-- 939 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,225 I, TOO, WOULD LIKE TO SEE 940 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,227 SOME FEISTY LATINA ENTERTAINMENT 941 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,227 WITH YOU, 942 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:50,272 BUT NOT IF IT MEANS 943 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:50,272 MOVING THERE, 944 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,274 THERE, OR THERE. 945 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,400 ACTUALLY, 946 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,400 THAT ONE'S A HOSPITAL, 947 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,945 BUT YOU--YOU GET 948 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,945 MY POINT. 949 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,240 WORKING FOR DONNIE 950 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,240 IS HARD ENOUGH. 951 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,703 I CAN'T DEAL WITH ANY MORE CRAZY 952 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:03,703 IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW. 953 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,496 I UNDERSTAND. THAT'S FAIR. 954 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:09,249 WELL, UH, CALL ME 955 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:09,249 IF YOU CHANGE YOUR JOB. 956 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,543 CALL ME IF YOU CHANGE 957 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,543 APARTMENTS. 958 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,545 (laughs) 959 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:16,256 JUNE. SEE, THIS IS 960 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:16,256 YOUR PROBLEM. 961 00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,424 IF THE MAN GOES THAT WAY, 962 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,135 YOU SHOULD GO THAT WAY. 963 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,261 I CAN'T GIVE YOU 964 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,261 WHAT YOU NEED. 965 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,764 I NEED YOU TO SHUT UP 966 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,764 AND GO TO THIS CONCERT WITH ME. 967 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,265 YOU'RE NOT GONNA 968 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,265 TAKE WILL WITH YOU? 969 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,266 NO, I WANT TO TAKE YOU. 970 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,644 AS FRIENDS OR... 971 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,104 YES. OF COURSE AS FRIENDS. 972 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,105 OKAY, GOOD. YAY. 973 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:32,314 "C"-MINUS. 974 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,274 I JUST RAISED YOUR EVALUATION 975 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,274 GRADE TO "C"-MINUS. 976 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,276 I LOVE CHARO. I HAVE ALL 977 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,276 27 OF HER RECORDS, 978 00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,570 EVEN THE ONES SHE RELEASED 979 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,280 AS APRIL LOPEZ/ 980 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,280 LUPE ZAPATA DE VEGA VALDEZ. 981 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,282 THOSE ARE HER TWO CHARACTERS 982 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,282 ON "LOVE BOAT." 983 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,492 I DID NOT KNOW THAT. 984 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:47,496 NOBODY DOES. THAT'S THE THING. 985 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:47,496 SHE GETS NO INK. 986 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,707 (clears throat) CHER COULD 987 00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:49,707 CHANGE HER TOOTHPASTE 988 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,292 AND THE GAYS 989 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,292 HAVE A WHOLE ROSE PARADE. 990 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,254 HOW ABOUT A ROSE PARADE 991 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:55,254 FOR CHARO, GAYS? 992 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:58,298 (door slams) 993 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:03,971 JAMES? WE'RE READY FOR YOU. 994 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,394 I HOPE I NEVER HAVE A CHILD, 995 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,354 BECAUSE I'LL HATE 996 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,354 TO TELL MY SON 997 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,899 THAT THE DAY HE WAS BORN WAS 998 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,899 THE SECOND-BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 999 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:16,358 DO YOU NEED SCRIPT PAGES? 1000 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,735 I DO NOT. 1001 00:21:20,738 --> 00:21:22,698 OKAY. READY WHEN YOU ARE. 1002 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,242 (quietly) OKAY. 1003 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,791 MM. 1004 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,834 THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 58730

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.