Original subtitles

(intense music)

(birds squawking)

(soft music)

- Pagans promoted homosexual acts,

and let's have a look at it.

Leviticus 18:22, "Thou shalt not lie with mankind",

"as with womankind."

"It is an abomination."

So they had a law governing this.

- They shall surely be put to death.

Their blood shall be upon them,

and that my friend is the cure for AIDS.

It was right there in the Bible all along.

And they're out spending billions of dollars

on research and testing.

It's curable, right there.

Because if you executed the homos like God recommends,

you wouldn't have all this AIDS running rampant.

"See, well I just don't believe that."

- I don't care what the news media pushes

and what the public school has to say,

this Bible said marriage is between a male and female!

- [Audience] Yeah!

- Praise be!

I was meant to tell you in the mid-90's,

about '94, '95, no later than that,

God will destroy the homosexual community of America.

- There's such a generation gap in the world today.

You're not from my world,

and I'm not from yours.

That's why my generation thinks we need

a constitutional amendment to protect the sanctity

of marriage that guarantees that in America

the only marriage to be recognized

is the marriage between a man and a woman.

- [Sally] In my opinion, the homosexual agenda

is a bigger threat than terrorism.

The homosexual agenda is destroying people's lives.

More people have died from AIDS

than have died from a terrorist attack

here in America.

- [Oral Roberts] I go to church too,

but you know it didn't make me queer.

And I wouldn't buy that 100%.

Please erase that from the tape.

Let's edit that out, will you?

- Woo, 1995 Oklahoma, gay's not good.

You don't go shopping together.

You don't necessarily go out and eat frequently together.

You have to be careful.

- Even with this bright lighting right here

on this front porch, you can see that the vandals managed

to still light the front of this truck on fire,

threatening they'll be back.

That same night, it may be a little tough to see,

but you can see that the wrote on the garage, CMG,

but that wasn't enough.

Let's take a bigger look right here.

You can see in the big white writing.

It says, gay must go and it's all over the home.

A charred truck threats I'll be back,

and in bigger writing for everyone to see,

gay must go.

The message is clear for Robert Stotler.

He's the gay man that lives behind these walls.

- [Robert] This is a big advertisement,

telling me I must leave.

- [Reporter] He doesn't wanna leave,

but Robert says he has no choice.

The state won't protect him.

- Right now, I live in fear.

I cannot live in this house.

My partner and I had a rent house in East Tulsa.

We had just gotten together,

so he still had stuff in it,

but we had another friend of ours stay in it.

The neighborhood I guess had gotten tired

of our other friend staying there.

- Even though this vandalism isn't considered a hate crime

under the Oklahoma State Statute,

if it were, it would carry anywhere

between one to 10 years in prison

with a very hefty fine.

But for right now, it's just vandalism,

and that could only carry about six months in jail

and a $500 fine.

- In 1995, there wasn't a place in Tulsa,

where gay people or transgender people

or females, there was not a place

where you could be who you were

and freely express yourself spiritually.

There was no, gay people could not go and hold hands

and be in the pews and worship God

without judgment following.

There was, in 1995 there wasn't a place

where you could be yourself and worship

as as gay person.

- I had received several comments in previous churches

that I had attended here,

and it probably played into one of the reasons

why I decided to stop going to church all together,

because I really did not feel

that I should be alienated

or that I should not attend church

because of the way that I am.

I believe God has created me

in his marvelous design,

and so I felt personally that if the church

was not going to accept me,

then I was not gonna be affiliated with them.

- Coming from back east,

Tulsa is a very conservative church town.

There's all these churches I've never heard of.

I didn't even know what a Baptist Church was

until I moved here.

- I haven't seen an anti-gay situation directly.

It's not directed at me,

but I have seen the attitudes

and comments said around that

have led me to believe that I can't open up

and be who I am.

- When I came to Oklahoma,

it seemed somewhat backwards

and just to be able to walk into a grocery store

and buy a bottle of wine,

that was unheard of.

You had to go to a liquor store.

I had been traveling with this gospel group.

I had been going to these churches.

I was dealing with the whole gay issue.

I was not really out of the closet.

I still had, was fearful going to Oral Roberts University.

Of course, you couldn't go the bars and dance.

They had their advisors there at the door.

I was asked,

it was to be a technical director

for this production company,

and the position was filled.

And so they asked, "How about if we incorporated you"

"into a team of dancers?"

And they asked me to dance.

And so I danced.

And after it, they came to me and said,

"It just seems to me that you are wrestling with something."

"We noticed that when you danced,"

"we just don't think that you are a good match"

"for the organization,"

"and we think you're wrestling with issues."

"Is that correct?"

And I knew what they were talking about.

And because of that,

they felt it would be infectious

for me to be involved with the group,

that somehow maybe I would be an influence

on the other artists.

That's what I got.

They didn't have to say it.

That's how they said it,

that I just seemed to be wrestling with something,

and they kinda left it at that.

And so I left a little bit upset

that I was not able to be a part of this organization

because of the way I danced.

Come on.

- I had a lot of self-hatred,

because I just thought,

"I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do,"

"and yet I can't overcome my sexuality, my homosexuality."

- I grew up as a Baptist for the first 30 years

of my life.

A pretty serious Baptist, 'cause my grandma lived

down the street and cousins across the street,

and we just went every time the door was open.

But in my 20s

when I discover that I'm gay

and it's really hard being gay and being a Baptist,

so I had basically had quit going to church,

because my sexuality and my spiritualness

could not fit into one hand.

I think that it was just always something on your mind.

I worked at a corporation,

so you don't take your partner to the Christmas party.

My parents were another generation.

My parents were born in the '20s.

I didn't share with my parents my sexuality.

I didn't feel that it was safe to do that.

Funny little things, when you sit down in the chair

to get your hair done.

I've probably colored my hair at times

when if it wouldn't be perceived

that I was gay, I probably wouldn't have colored.

So you do things, you do things.

You do funny things.

- I was going through counseling

and being prayed over and therapy

to kind work through my homosexuality,

and through a series of events,

it just was not working.

And finally I remember, I just broke down

and started crying,

and I just said, "God, I cannot do this anymore."

"I'm done."

"If you want to change me, you've gotta do it."

"But I'm not putting any more effort into this."

"I'm done, 'cause I can't do it anymore."

And it was almost like this boulder fell off of me,

because that was something I was carrying around.

It wasn't God put it on me.

It was something I was carrying, I didn't know it.

There was like a freedom of okay,

now we've kinda gotten past that.

- We tend to wanna separate our sexuality

from our Christianity.

And that's really hard to do,

because it's not something that you separate.

Being gay and being Christian is one thing.

It's not two different personalities you're living.

But yet back in 1995, that's what you were doing.

You were living one life as a gay person

and another life as a Christian.

And there was nothing there to say,

"Hey, let's bring this stuff together"

"and just be yourself"

"without having this duality of personalities."

- Scripture has been used for so much abuse

in the history of the world, and it's sad.

Because there's so many scriptures you can pick out

and pretty much clobber anybody for anything.

But I think if you do that,

you're missing the essence

of what Christianity is supposed to be

and what Christ's teachings were.

- Dealing with homosexuality is also dealing

with people's intimate sexuality themselves.

And people aren't used to dealing with that in public.

That's private.

That's intimate.

And when that gets dealt with in public,

it brings up a lot of fears that people have,

and that's a very difficult issue to negotiate in public.

(soft music)

- I was kind of surprised when Rick announced

that he had a calling and that he wanted to start a church.

And honestly, I wouldn't say that I was running

down a path skipping in joy,

because we were going to commit every weekend

to having to be in Tulsa and so forth.

- We started out trying to create an environment

and a church where all people were just accepted

no matter how they came through our doors.

And it was a place of safety.

It was a place where people could bring their children.

It would be a place

where people could recognize same-sex partners,

could answer the call,

regardless of their sexual orientation.

- Several of us that were involved

at the very beginning of this church

were involved with a large Episcopal Church in Tulsa.

We could sort of be ourselves.

There were certain things that we couldn't do.

And so it was like all of our spiritual needs

were not being met.

And so that was the main focus of this church

was so that no matter what your spiritual needs were

or what your needs personally were

that this church could meet those.

- Tulsa was experiencing some interesting changes

in that there were no, what we would call now

Open and Affirming churches that were sacramental in nature

or that would offer all the seven sacraments

as we would look at it for persons,

lesbian and gay persons.

It was felt that while we had some wonderful churches,

we had a shalom based Methodist ministry here in town,

we had the Metropolitan Community Church here at that time,

there weren't any churches that approached the worship style

in a Eucharistic or sacramental fashion.

- Being a liturgical church, you know exactly

what's going to happen.

It'll be different each week

depending on the hymns and the readings and all that.

But basically the service is going to flow the same way.

So no matter what kind of chaos there is going on

in your life, for that hour on Sunday morning,

you know exactly what's going on

and you can control it,

and it gives you a sense of peace.

I think for a lot of people,

that's why they're drawn to liturgical churches

is because there is that sense of history

and tying back and all of that.

- And so our model of worship is like that

of a Roman Catholic Church

or of an Episcopal Church, Anglican Church, Lutheran Church

in that you have Eucharist

or the liturgy brings the people together,

and it's really stayed pretty much the same

through all the centuries of the church.

And so you wouldn't find a great deal

of difference if you came to worship here,

if you attended any of those type of churches.

And so it follows a very set order of the Mass.

The rituals we do, whether it be the incense

of the bells that we use,

all those things tie us back

to the ancient church.

I think that's one of the things

that's very important to someone who's interested

in a liturgical church

is that sense of connectivity and history.

(soft music)

♪ Ave Maria ♪

- I had a friend that was an organist

and he was going to substitute

for this little church that was starting.

And they were meeting in a metal building.

(singing in foreign language)

And I remember going there a couple times

just to kind of see what it was like.

- In the original building that we were in

over on Utica, if you were the crucifer,

you had to be very careful carrying the processional cross,

because as you were going down the aisle,

you would hit the fluorescent lights

that were going across the ceiling.

Processional cross was made

out of a cross that was hanging on the wall

at Rick and John's house.

They took it down and put it on a stick,

and we still use that for Lent around here.

So we have, it ties us back to our original roots in that.

- The priest Rick Hollingsworth found out

that I was working, and I was dealing

with a local community theater here in town.

Rick said, "So you all know how to make costumes?"

And we said, "Well, yeah, we sew costumes."

He said, "Well, how about, would you be interested"

"in helping us sew a cope?"

- It's the old Scarlet O'Hara story.

- I don't care what you say, only give me the money.

I won't let Tara go.

I can't let it go while there's a breath left in my body.

- It came from drapes in our home. (laughs)

And so, yes.

Actually the first set of vestments that were made

at that time actually were table cloths,

and we had no money obviously for vestments

and some different things.

And so we had people in the parish who could sew.

- And Paul and I were just kinda looking at each other

going, "Okay, so this is just like a Carol Burnett moment"

"when she did the parody of 'Gone with the Wind.'"

And we're like going, "Okay, so we're living"

"this Carol Burnett moment, right?"

(audience laughing)

And we all started chuckling.

I said, "Well, don't you think the curtains look good"

"and could be used?"

Paul and I took some of the drapes home,

and we started to cut out the fabric,

and we made a cope for our priest,

since we were a poor parish.

We used what we have available,

and nobody knew the difference.

- In the original building, the metal building

as we refer to it, McDonald's was next door,

and you could hear people ordering at the drive-in window

next to us when service was going on.

And we shared space there.

A lot of times there were more people

in the altar party,

the priest and the deacon

and the crucifer and the organist, those people,

than there were in the congregation.

- We worshiped on Saturday nights.

The Unitarians worshiped on Sunday morning,

and the Methodists worshiped on Sunday evening.

- That's when we became the church of the box,

because we had to then put all of our stuff

in a box every Saturday night

and put it all away.

- The Methodists had the facility,

and so we had our box,

and we would carry our box.

And then, we moved up town

and went to the funeral home.

That was delightful, and we were very blessed

to be able to use Ninde's Funeral Home chapel.

- Because it was a funeral home,

the organ console was actually in another room.

And so they'd have to be in there playing

a separate room from us,

which was kinda difficult.

It was kinda rough sometimes as I recall.

It was sweet, I think,

and that's the best part about it.

It was sweet.

It was people trying to do a good thing.

- We have this friend, when he worked at the funeral home

is why they got that, 'cause he was involved

with the church, and if we all had dinner

on a Saturday night, he would end up taking people for tours

back in the funeral home late at night.

But I was too scared to ever go.

The chapel was on the side of the funeral home,

so you didn't think you were necessarily

in a funeral home.

- It was in kind of an interesting,

it was a beautiful space to be in.

It beat the metal building they were in before. (laughs)

- We did take a little bit

of heat in the religious community

regarding our validity and regarding what our purpose was.

And that was a little uncomfortable

during that time.

So we had to answer a lot of questions.

And then of course, meeting in a funeral home

and some other things, you can see

that that would not necessarily represent permanence.

And so we had to answer a lot of questions,

and people were very questioning

when they would come in to worship,

but that was a good thing,

because they could begin to question their faith

and begin to question maybe the church

of their childhood

and say, "How do I really feel about the dogma"

"or the ordinances of the church that I grew up in?"

"And how do I feel about that"

"as it relates to social justice issues"

"and God's love?"

And so it was really a good time

for people to explore that.

- And strengthen them to glorify God in this life

and in the life to come.

♪ Our souls inspire ♪

♪ And lighten with celestial fire ♪

♪ Thou the anointing Spirit art ♪

♪ Who dost thy sevenfold gifts impart ♪

♪ Thy blessed unction from above ♪

♪ Is comfort, life, and fire of love ♪

♪ Enable with perpetual light ♪

♪ The dullness of our blinded sight ♪

♪ Anoint and cheer our soiled face ♪

♪ With the abundance ♪

- May we praise in Christ's church,

Father Rick Hollingsworth.

(congregation applauds)

- It was more about validity of our orders.

Did we have valid orders from the Catholic tradition

or the Anglican tradition?

Being in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it was questioned

that we were breaking the commandments

as were outlined by the belief system of Leviticus

or Paul to the early church of some

of the sexual orientations issues.

- Different churches move at different speeds

in dealing with these issues.

And the same thing was true with slavery.

The same thing has been true with women.

The same thing is true with homosexuality.

Those are three huge issues

that not only the churches have had to deal with

but with cultures have had to deal with.

It's coming quickly.

And I think one of the primary reason is

is gays came out of the closet.

Straights had to deal with gays,

and they found out, "Well, wait a minute."

"They're just like me."

"My best friend is."

That's a whole different equation

than when it's just some kind of intellectual thought.

Then you don't, it's much more persuasive

when you deal with it at a feeling level,

and that I think has been the huge difference.

It's been the deal-breaker.

- We also took some heat in that area,

because we were living a lie

or we were an abomination,

because we allowed people to be openly gay or lesbian

at that time, and we welcomed that

and encouraged people to be who they were.

We didn't have just gay and lesbian,

nor do we have gay and lesbian people primarily

who attend here now.

We've been a church that has tried

to stay away from being a one-issue church,

because the church should not be a one-issue church.

We have many issues in our society

that need our attention.

And many of our parishioners had come

from a place of hurt and pain

from their religious experience before.

And so there had to be

and still continues to be a time of healing

where they can be in a safe space to talk about that.

- For the life of me, I wonder sometimes

why lots of people, women and gays in particular

even go to church, why they would even want to,

given the way churches have treated 'em.

I mean, I'm a white male.

I'm used to being in the winning group. (laughs)

I think, "I wouldn't come."

So it really always astounds me.

I was always amazed at the community of hope,

at these people, their hunger.

I mean, that would be the word I would use for religion

after it had abused 'em.

I think these historical trends

that have been put in place

since the enlightenment are inevitable.

They're not gonna go backward.

- We had families that have been isolated

because of this issue.

We've had children that have been isolated

because of this issue.

We've had people that have really been harmed by church

in a lot of ways.

So we had to create an environment

that we did not react to that

and do the very same thing

that had happened to many of us.

There were times when people would call

and say, "Is this the queer priest?"

"You're nothing but a faggot,"

and some different things in the time.

"You know what you're doing is not right."

Those type things.

"I know where you live."

I received a KKK call

at one point in time that we know where you worship

and those things.

So but those were few,

but they were still there.

I did at one point request

that the ushers be ever-vigilant

at our doors just in case something went awry.

(soft piano music)

- Where we are now has built

on the previous places we were.

So it's been a building process as we've gone along.

So I don't think we would be where we are now

without those early days of being in the metal building

and learning some things there,

and then moving from there to the funeral home

and then learning more things there

in a way to relate to people.

- We were looking at facilities

to move from the funeral home

to a building.

We really felt that we needed something

to enlarge our mission, something of more permanence.

And so we begin to look at that

and our theme at that time was,

do we need a building for our mission,

or do we have a mission for a building?

- Bishop Rick and I looked at every building in town

that was available to be a church,

whether it was a storefront, it was a church.

We laugh about the one that we almost bought

that had no running water

that was connected to the car dealership next door

with the garden hose for the water supply.

There were all sorts of weird little things,

and it was just one of those God things.

- And those are very important things,

because it's one thing to have a great facility

and a wonderful structure,

but it's another thing to really look

at what is the purpose of that.

And our purpose is to reach out beyond ourselves.

- We had a parish meeting

to vote on whether we wanted to buy a building or rent,

and we voted that we could spend $150,000 on a building.

When we came to look at this building,

we met with the elder from the Presbyterian Church

that was showing the building,

and we loved it.

And we said, "What's the cost?"

And he said, "$150,000."

So I said, "Let me go get my checkbook."

And so I went to the car and actually wrote a deposit check

to him then, because we knew

there were some other congregations looking at the building.

That was a real turning point

in the congregation, being able to move to our own building.

- We had purchased this building,

and I think it's well known

that it needed some work.

And so it was kind of exciting,

'cause we were all pulling together

and trying to get the building in usable shape,

and I remember when the sanctuary used to be green.

It's been painted kinda this cream color.

The carpet kind of a green color,

and there were some other changes.

But it was kind of exciting,

'cause it was something new.

- [Man] Well, this is where it all starts.

It is now the home of the Parish Church of St. Jerome's

where today we will celebrate our very first Eucharist

in our new home.

Here she is.

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful place than this,

and it's ours.

- Well, I'm gonna do it.

Let's give you all a hand.

(all clapping)

(joyful organ music)

♪ All thy works with joy surround thee ♪

♪ Earth and heaven reflect thy rays ♪

♪ Stars and angels sing around thee ♪

♪ Center of unbroken praise ♪

♪ Field and forest, vale and mountain ♪

♪ flowery meadow, flashing sea ♪

♪ Chanting bird and flowing fountain ♪

♪ Call us to rejoice in thee ♪

- In the beginning when the congregation was looking

at this building, there were some key people

that said, "We need to do this."

"Let's do this."

But there's a mortgage that's required.

- Church property in Tulsa is a little bit difficult

to come by if you're not a part of a large denomination

that will back up a loan or will assist

with financial sponsoring for those things.

And so when we did find this wonderful church building

that we're in now, Dr. Coffey

and Andrew Kinslow provided us the money,

so that we could go ahead and purchase the building.

And then they were our loan officers as it were.

Dr. Coffey was also one of our senior wardens,

was a very strong and very involved in the community,

not only was a pediatric physician,

not only with the health of children

but also in working with the HIV/AIDS community

and making sure that moneys were there for Tulsa Cares.

He was quite the foundational cornerstone

of what we are doing now.

- Robert grew up attending church on Easter and Christmas

and going to Sunday school sometimes

and that kind of thing

but never really being involved in church.

He had moved to Tulsa at the point

where we were buying the building,

and he and I had arranged for a second mortgage

on our house to be able to do some work

on the pool and the yard.

And so we basically bought the building,

carried the mortgage for the church.

Then the church paid us back over a certain period of time.

- Robert was very behind the scenes.

You didn't realize he was a huge part

of the starting of the church.

I think he really got involved with the church

'cause it was Andy's passion.

And Robert loved Andy so much

that he became more involved with the church.

- I was introduced to St. Jerome's by my brother

who was one of the first parishioners of St. Jerome's.

And I started coming occasionally with him

on special holidays.

And then when my mother became legally blind,

they decided she could not drive any more.

So she started coming to church with my brother,

and I started coming a little more often,

so that I could be with my mother and Charles.

Then my brother Charles joined Alcoholics Anonymous,

because he needed a god in his life.

And for a long time, that served as a god in his life.

And then he realized he maybe needed a little bit more,

and I think he met Rick and Robert Coffey

and became a member of this church

and found his god.

- It was a time for healing for Charles

to come back to the church

and to come back to the love he could experience

in the sacraments and his type of worship,

and he was very comfortable with that.

Charles had very definite opinions

on how things should be painted and done in the church.

And so he served on our vestry.

And not only did he assist the church financially,

but he also assisted the church in opinions

of what things should be painted

and how things should be replaced.

Charles was the one

who would paint his toenails different colors

for the feet washing on Maundy Thursday

to see if I would react.

He would break all the Lent rules

and eat chocolate all during Lent

or would bring Easter bunnies in

for after-service snacks during Lent.

That banter was delightful.

- The upkeep of the structure of the building,

there is a lot of repairs

that go into maintaining a structure such as this,

and we needed funding to maintain the structure.

- I don't think I've ever had a time

where I thought, "Wow, we're not going to make it,"

but I'm a very big budget versus actual girl.

And we consistently approved a budget

that was short 20, 30, $40,000 every year.

And so that requires a church to step out in faith

that you have pledges that say total 80,000,

and you've bot a budget of 120,000.

And year after year, the congregation approved that budget.

We have always in my time had to do Mardi Gras,

our annual fundraiser in the spring,

and those dollars along with people

that just reach into their pocket and give.

We've had people give thousands of dollars

to repair roofs.

We've had people give thousands of dollars

just at the end of the year

to finish out the year.

- I don't think we could have made it.

The structure as old as it is needs a lot of upkeep,

and that funding provided the avenue

to do the repairs that are needed.

- No one in the congregation knew

that we were carrying the mortgage of the building.

That was one of the things about Robert.

He never wanted a lot of attention for anything.

And so everything was behind the scenes on that.

But getting the building paid off was something

that was very, very important to him.

He didn't like credit card debt.

He didn't like debt of any kind.

And I think that was because he could say

that you could use that money for something else.

(soft piano music)

- [Bishop Rick] In sure and certain hope

of the resurrection to eternal life

through our Lord Jesus Christ

we commend to Almighty God our brother Robert

and we commit his ashes to their final resting place.

- His loss is one of those where,

I hate to put it this way,

but it's one of those moments where your faith is tested.

Even though I didn't know him as well as I wanted to,

it still hit home.

The realization that you're about to lose someone

that you care about and that you respect.

So it was a tough and still is a tough moment,

and we miss him.

We hope that he's proud of us

and what we've done since his departure.

- Well, it's a difficult time when you lose a primary leader

in your parish and to refocus that.

So it was a huge loss not only for the parish

but a huge loss for me as a friend.

- Charles was actually seven years older than I,

but everybody thought we were twins,

because we were so much alike,

which that always irritated me

since he was seven years older.

We were always best friends, I mean, always.

When I was born, I was his doll baby

that he rode around on his bicycle basket.

We have pictures of it.

It's embarrassing.

But I've never known life without Charles.

So everybody said we were like Siamese twins

only joined at the brain,

only you had to have a brain to be joined,

because we were so much alike in every way.

I miss him a lot.

- When you have things that happen in the parish

such as those losses,

then you have to reorganize yourself.

And anyone who's lost a very close friend knows that.

Some interesting studies say it takes five to seven years

to really overcome a significant loss in one's life,

and I don't know that you ever overcome,

but you readjust your life to living without that person.

- We have just finished up a huge Mardi Gras.

Preparations for weeks, huge night.

I think we've raised over 40,000.

It takes everyone to do that.

And unfortunately, just weeks later,

Dr. Robert Coffey passes away,

and the church has to rally again.

Shoot.

Because where else are you gonna have his service?

You have to have it here.

You can't go down the street.

Dr. Coffey's service has to be here.

So we have to rally again.

We're expecting 400 people

in a nave that holds 100.

Not very good numbers, right?

So we're running cables everywhere,

so we can broadcast.

We're bringing in chairs into the balcony.

We're moving the choir,

so that people can sit in our seats.

We're setting up the event center for a reception.

We're printing,

we're printing and printing and printing,

so that we have programs to hand out.

We're coordinating the ashes being delivered.

It takes all of us

and everybody rallies.

Everybody rallies.

And we've just rallied with Mardi Gras.

When one of your founding fathers passes away,

this is where you do the service.

- His service or the Celebration of the Eucharist

on that day was a very large service.

So it was probably the largest Mass

that we have had at St. Jerome's.

The balconies were full.

The aisles were full.

The undercroft was full.

We had cameras set up

and all of those things.

But I think what was wonderful

is if you looked out across the nave,

and you looked at it's really what church should have been,

all colors, all faiths, all traditions,

and all of 'em came together

to say goodbye to a sainted person.

- To this day, I still get people commenting to me

that they've never been to a funeral that felt so personal,

and I think a lot of that has to do

with the church family here.

It was a very formal service.

It was a traditional Anglican rite service,

but it was personalized to him.

And so everyone that was here

was able to understand who Robert was.

- [Bishop Rick] Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,

and dust to dust.

(soft music)

- Charles was a Pilar of this church

as was Robert Coffey and Andy.

I really think they had a large impact on this church

in every way.

Financially assisting in signing notes

and all of that.

Robert Coffey was a head of the vestry

the year I went on the vestry,

and I loved serving with Robert.

He was a great person and a great leader

and a really devout St. Jerome's person.

- We lost Robert,

and that was devastating for our whole community.

And one of the things that was very important to him

was that we pay off the church,

because he had been like senior warden.

He had been on the vestry

a number of different times.

And one of the things that was always important to him

was that we pay this building off.

Eventually we did.

That was after we lost Robert.

- When he died, that was one of the things that

there were two places that people could contribute money.

One was St. Jerome for the mortgage reduction fund.

And so any money that came in

went directly to pay for mortgage reduction.

And then about a year after that,

I did a matching of dollar for dollar

if someone wanted to make a contribution

to pay off the mortgage.

In Robert's memory, we did a matching

and paid off the mortgage the year after he died

and then had the mortgage burning shortly after that.

- We actually burned it in the church

and right there in front.

It was really cool.

To me, I think that's one of the high points

of my experience here.

- We realize his vision,

and through his vision

and what he wanted for our faith community,

we're able to come together

and be able to pay off this building

and become one of the few churches

in our denomination

that not only has a place to worship

but also has a building that's paid off.

- The tie to history is clear.

"The moral arc," as Martin Luther King said

of history, "is long, but it's in the bent of justice."

I believe that.

If I'm a theologian,

that's my theological belief.

I believe that.

But it's a rough battle.

It's not easy.

(uplifting organ music)

♪ Soar we now where Christ hath led ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

♪ Following our exalted Head ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

- After my mother passed away,

I decided to join the church.

I felt like I needed a god in my life,

and somehow coming to church made me feel closer

to my mother and of course to my brother

who was coming every Sunday.

I was raised Catholic.

I went to a Catholic school through the eighth grade,

and then I married my first husband

in the Catholic Church,

and then I divorced my first husband.

And I was all of a sudden excommunicated

from the Catholic Church.

- I tell people that we are an Anglican Catholic Church.

And so Anglicans and Catholics feel very comfortable here.

I tell 'em we're not Roman.

So there's no pope and there's no guilt.

And I think the thing they have the hardest time

wrapping their mind around

is that there's a Catholic Church that's not Roman.

In a world that's just like chaotic

and you don't know what you can count on

and you don't know what's gonna happen next,

I can come here and I feel a sense of peace and comfort.

It's very soothing for me.

- It got us out of this having to play gay person,

having to play straight person,

having to play a Christian person.

That's exactly what St. Jerome did.

It just fused it all together

to where we could just be ourselves.

- For a community of our size to be around

for 20 years is remarkable.

There have been lots of churches in Tulsa

that have sprung up,

and after four or five years, they're gone.

And this one has remained.

And actually we are now a recognized part

of the community.

- We actually began our food pantry with just cans

in a closet, and we began to hand those out.

And we saw that the need was greater.

And so we developed the Garden Grocery Food Pantry,

and we began to purchase food.

And we allowed people, we're an emergency food bank

and that we're supposed to assist people

who are in between maybe jobs,

people who are in between filing for disability,

social security to help with food items.

My joke is always, "If you don't like butter beans",

"you don't have to take the butter beans."

You can go and you can shop for what meets your needs.

- We have a mother that has five children.

Her husband's already died of AIDS,

and she's HIV positive.

Some days she just doesn't get to talk to anybody.

Everybody calls her with their problems,

and she doesn't have anybody to talk to,

because she doesn't wanna burden her children.

So she'll come here and ask us to pray for her,

and we'll just have prayer

and give her a hug.

And we just try to show 'em love and respect

and that's our main thing.

(soft music)

(congregation cheers)

(congregation clapping)

- St. Jerome will always have a special place in my heart,

not only because of the openness,

the welcoming nature, the feeling of family

that I feel here, but it's also the place

that I was able to walk down the aisle

with my partner and exchange vows

and hug each other and cry together

and be wed and truly receive all the sacraments

that the Catholic Church offer.

My partner is technically new to the faith,

and he's received baptism.

He's been confirmed.

We received marriage, sacrament of marriage in this church.

This place forever be a beacon

and a place of light to me,

because it's the only place I've felt

that I can truly be part of church,

I can truly be part of worshiping God

and not be worried about what society

or the community thinks about me.

- I think being an organization,

whether it's a church or whatever

has got a life cycle,

and it's sort of gone through its birth

and its growing up years and its teenage years,

which can be very rocky and somewhat rebellious, (laughs)

And in some ways maybe we are in our 20's or some odd.

And so now I think it's a good time

to think about, "Okay, who do we wanna be now?"

Like after you get out of high school or college,

it's like, "What direction do I wanna take my life now?"

Maybe that's kinda where we're at as a church is,

"Okay, we've come all this far,"

"and we've grown a lot, done a lot of things"

"and kind of experienced things together."

"So what do we wanna do next?"

And so that's gonna be kind of exciting I think.

- What I've learned is that there is a role

in St. Jerome's to continue,

because you are truly accepted here.

♪ People's need ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

- When you come here, you feel at home.

I mean, everybody, we're one big family here.

It's not like any other traditional church

that I've ever been to,

and I've been to 'em in Guatemala, Mexico,

all over the Midwest and on the West Coast.

And not one have I ever met

where the priest has gone out of his way

to come see you or in hospital,

or vestry members call you 'cause you are sick or something.

It's just a unique place.

- St. Jerome is like an oasis

or like the best kept secret in Tulsa

when it comes to worshiping.

- I think this church has made it through

all the ups and downs, because it's like your family.

Every family has issues,

and you work through them,

you come out better on the other side.

I think it's because of the connectedness

of all the people that are here

and how important this place is to each person

is the reason we've been able to make it through

some of those difficult times.

- I do not want gays to go back in the closet.

I do not want women to become subservient.

I don't want slavery.

Those are all biblical values.

That's why I go nuts with people.

They say, "Oh, we should have biblical values."

Have they read the book?

I mean, there's wonderful things in the book,

but there's also some bad things in the book.

And one has to be sophisticated enough

to deal with that.

- I think our greatest accomplishment is holding

to our mission or all-inclusiveness,

but I really still believe that

and our people act that out.

It's not that we do everything perfect.

It's not that we don't have our prejudices,

because we all have them.

- No one is considered to be an outcast at St. Jerome,

whether you're homeless, you're transgender,

you're gay, you're a divorced person,

you are whatever, you're welcome at St. Jerome.

We have a very, varied family,

and I think that's we're welcoming to everyone.

And I think that's one of the things

that has set us apart in the past

is that it doesn't matter who you are,

you're welcome here.

- I feel very safe here,

and I feel like this church is my family.

I sit here on that first row every Sunday

and I watch everyone come to communion,

and I think, "We're all God's children."

"We're all so different, but yet we're all a family."

- I watch these people love people.

I watch them love those who come through our doors.

I truly watch them act out the gospel of Christ,

and to create an environment of that

that really is what we do,

I think is our greatest accomplishment.

(inspiring music)

(soft piano music)