Original subtitles

[announcer] The Adventures of Batman with Robin, Boy Wonder.

Batman and Robin, Dynamic Duo against crime and corruption,

whose real identities as millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne

and his young ward, Dick Grayson,

are known only to Alfred, the faithful butler.

Ever alert, they respond swiftly to a signal from the police.

And moments later, from the secret Batcave deep beneath Wayne Manor,

they roar out to protect life, limb and property

as Batman and Robin, caped crime fighters.

Batman and Robin, scourge of Gotham City's kooky criminals:

The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime.

The Penguin, pudgy purveyor of perfidy.

And the cool, cruel Mr. Freeze.

Watch out, villains, here come Batman and Robin.

[narrator] The Drilred Puzzle Factory in Gotham City,

where the Prince of Puzzlers practices a new kick, painting.

Hey, that's beautiful, Riddler. Want I should cut it up into a puzzle?

Might as well, Jigsaw.

The new art museum rejected this masterpiece.

But I shall avenge my wounded vanity.

Gee, what can you do to an art museum?

[Riddler] What happens when you remove the R from the word "varnish"?

You make it "vanish." Ha-ha-ha.

And that, men, is what we're gonna do to the new museum.

[alarm ringing]

[narrator] That night, at Gotham City's art museum,

a burglar alarm summons the police.

We didn't steal nothing yet, Riddler.

What kind of caper is this?

What do you call a Russian fish?

A red herring. Ha-ha-ha. Come on.

[narrator] Meanwhile, in stately Wayne Manor…

Excuse me, Mr. Wayne. It's the hotline.

Thank you, Alfred.

Yes, Commissioner Gordon.

Oh? We'll meet you at the museum.

What baffles me, Caped Crusaders, is that nothing is missing.

Nothing has been harmed.

Thank goodness they did not spoil my painting.

This is Mr. Pier Van Shmeer. He painted this mural.

- My pleasure, sir. - [Robin] This is beautiful, Mr. Van Shmeer.

But what do these words on Sir Jonathan's scroll mean?

What words? I did not paint words.

"When is a museum like an inflated balloon?"

Holy brainteasers. Sounds like the work of the Riddler.

This is vandalism. Look, more on the sword.

"Why does the king raise his sword?"

I've got it. A museum is like an inflated balloon

when it is blown up.

And the king raises his sword to knight Sir Jonathan.

That mean the Riddler intends to blow up this museum tonight.

[Gordon] Good grief.

I'd better throw a cordon of police around the building at once.

Wait. The sight of police will scare off the conundrum criminal.

Let Robin and me stake ourselves out in the museum, alone.

Well, yes. Perhaps that will be better.

Good luck, Dynamic Duo.

And now, my quiz-lings, it's time to set the big blowup.

But, Riddler, why are you so set on blasting the art museum?

Jigsaw, once we blow all those beautiful pictures to bits,

we will have created the most challenging jigsaw puzzle

the world has ever known. Ha-ha-ha.

All quiet here on the first floor, Robin.

- How are things upstairs? - No action here either, Bat—

[rustling nearby]

Uh-oh. Visitors.

The Boy Wonder. Grab him before he alerts Batman.

[over radio] And take him to puzzle factory.

The Riddler.

[laughing]

[Riddler] I'm the first fisherman to catch a sardine already in the can.

Ha, ha. Take him away.

Gone, with Robin.

[narrator] Moments later, the police commissioner's daughter,

librarian Barbara Gordon,

is in her father's office when he learns of Robin's capture.

And you overheard Riddler say something about a puzzle factory?

I'll check it out, Batman, at once.

Puzzle factory? Hmm. I wonder.

See you later, Dad.

[Barbara] "Drilred Puzzle Company."

Hmm. I always was suspicious of that name. Now I'm sure.

To the Bat-closet.

[narrator] The secret Bat-closet

where Barbara switches to crime-fighting Batgirl.

[Barbara] I'll give the Riddler something to puzzle,

by wearing another costume over this.

[whirring]

[dings]

These are all the puzzle factories, Batman.

Thank you, Alfred. "Ajax Puzzle Company, Gotham Puzzle,

Drilred Pu—" Wait.

These letters are a jumbled version of the name "Riddler."

[Riddler] This jigsaw is used to cut giant puzzles.

Now, riddle me this, Boy Wonder. When is a villain like a clown?

When he takes a tumble, which is what you'll do soon.

Wrong. A villain is like a clown when he's cutting a caper.

In this case, a crusading caper,

which is what I'll do soon.

[Riddler laughs]

Robin? But I thought—

- Guess again, Batman. - Batgirl.

But why the disguise?

I figured if Riddler sees another Robin,

he may think he's captured the wrong one, and—

Good thinking. Let's go.

[alarm ringing]

Look, somebody trying to break in through the roof door.

Must be Batman. Good.

Come. We'll slide the paper floor over the acid tank.

See you later, Robin.

Crossword, you designed this trap. Now answer this question:

Where would the secret button be that slides the paper floor out?

Uh, I give up, Riddler.

Idiot. That's not a riddle. I'm asking you where the secret button is.

Oh, sorry, boss.

Uh, it's in the doorjamb. There.

Ah.

Now we conceal the tank of acid.

[laughs]

Now, when the Dynamic Bore opens that door and steps on the floor,

he will be no more.

[laughs]

- Hold it, Batgirl. - Aah!

Oh, boy. That first step is a dandy.

Stay close. Come on.

[narrator] Batman and Batgirl come ever closer

to the thin paper floor over the tank of acid.

Elsewhere in the factory, the Boy Wonder struggles to free himself,

knowing it is imperative he warn Batman of the terrible trap Riddler has set.

Put on your mask and wait here while I see what's on the other side.

Right.

[narrator] No, Batman. No.

Can it be the canny king of conundrums has concocted a cute camouflage

that will cancel the careers of the courageous Caped Crusaders?

Whatever you do, stay tuned for the thrilling action-packed conclusion,

coming up next.

[narrator] Emerging from the Riddler's labyrinth,

Batman and Batgirl arrive at a door

which, unknown to them, leads to a vat of fuming and fatal acid,

concealed under a paper floor…

while in another room, Robin struggles desperately to free himself.

Got to break loose. Must warn Batman

about acid trap.

The jigsaw. If only I can reach it.

There.

[Batgirl] Wait a second, Batman, until I adjust this mask.

Got one foot free.

Let's try for one hand.

Hope I'm not too late to save Batman.

Stay here until I see what's beyond the other door.

Stop, Batman!

Watch this.

- A paper floor. - Over a tank full of acid.

[Batman] Thanks, chum. Guess I'll have to swing across.

Holy carbon copy. Who's that?

It's Batgirl. Tell you about it later. We've got to get her across too.

Caught you again, Boy Wonder.

Bye-bye, Batman.

We're taking your Robin to another nest.

They think she's me.

Yes. She's in bad trouble. Come on.

Come on, Riddler, Batman will be here any second now.

I know. I'm just making sure he'll follow us.

Throw the Boy Wonder in, and let's go.

[doors close]

They got away with Batgirl.

Riddler wants to capture us too. He left a clue.

"Prince" means the Prince of Puzzlers.

What happens when he makes photo enlargements?

[Robin] He blows up pictures.

- The art museum. - Yes.

We've got to beat him there, Robin. Fasten seat belts.

Handle those eggs gently, Crossword.

Gee, Riddler, what do we need eggs for?

Riddle me this.

What happens when you fill an empty eggshell with nitro?

It becomes an egg-splosive.

[laughs]

Here's our chance to gain on them. Set amphibious controls.

[Robin] Amphib controls, check.

I'll go in soon as you get set on the roof.

Check. I'll cover you from there.

Like busy little hens, we'll lay an egg-splosive in every room of the museum.

[Batman] Hold it, Riddler. Your plan has already laid an egg.

That's far enough, Batman.

Take one more step, and this egg-grenade scrambles the Boy Wonder.

[laughs]

Riddle me this, Riddler.

When is a Boy Wonder like a kid with the measles?

When he breaks out?

[Batman] Ha-ha-ha. Correct.

Impossible. If Robin's escaped from this truck,

he really is a Boy Wonder.

Thanks for the compliment, old buddy.

Thanks, Batman. At a time like this, it pays to be yourself.

Won't need this anymore. Let's join Robin.

No. You go for the police while we hold these rascals here.

Oh, no. I— Okay, boss man.

Get him, Jigsaw, now.

Thanks. Think we can take all these guys?

We've got to keep them here until police arrive.

Hey, Caped Crusaders, what comes after a summer? Ha, ha.

A fall.

[Riddler laughs]

We'll take them to the puzzle factory.

Crossword, you follow in the Batmobile. Quick.

[Riddler over PA] Ha-ha-ha. I've designed this special puzzle game

for you, Dynamic Dum-Dums.

I hope you like it. Ha, ha.

Lights. That door is unlocked.

The idea is to reach it without stepping on the explosive eggs.

Now, to make it easy for you, I'll release you from the cylinder, so…

Is he kidding? This is too easy.

Not so, Robin. Look.

[Robin] Holy mackerel.

How do you avoid stepping on them if you can't see them?

[laughs]

What have you got when two smart eggheads

hit the egg-splosives?

Scrambled eggs.

[laughs]

There's a ventilating fan above us.

If I set my electromagnetic Bat-power-pack on reverse…

- It could reverse the direction of the fan. - Keep your fingers crossed, chum.

[Robin] It's working, Batman.

[Crossword] Hey, why is he reversing the fan?

I don't know, but—

Why, that sneaky creep. Look.

The steam's nearly all gone.

Yes. Let's go, but be very careful.

Get them, men. Grab them.

[Batman] A riddle, Robin. How do you test the strength of a Batrope?

With a few jerks.

[villains grunting]

Let's see you riddle yourself out of this, Riddler.

Oh, no. You didn't save any for me.

Nice work, Dynamic Duo.

Gee, commissioner, I was just kidding around.

Having a little fun.

So how much time can a judge give me for that?

That's easy, Riddler.

What is it that seems to run on forever until it comes to a period?

A long sentence.

[heroes laughing]

[narrator] Citizens of Gotham, take heart. Criminals, take heed.

The Bruce Wayne Foundation is building an ultramodern crime lab

to serve the city's law enforcement agencies.

Mr. Wayne, every citizen of this town

will be most grateful to you for this crime lab.

[narrator] Not so, Commissioner Gordon. Not every citizen.

Not the Riddler, who watches from his newest home base,

the Dirdler Computer Service Company.

[Punchcard] That's trouble, Riddler.

That crime lab's gonna put our crime computers out of business.

We must prevent that, Punchcard.

We must persuade Mr. Wayne to abandon the project.

Yeah? How? Riddle me that.

How do you make a rich guardian do what you want?

You take his ward.

His ward. Dick Grayson. Ha!

You sure are smart, Riddler.

[narrator] Later, baffled by a cryptic message from the Riddler,

the police commissioner and his daughter, librarian Barbara Gordon,

try to solve the riddle.

[Barbara] "Abandon crime lab or consider this riddle.

'What will I have when the hair of my heir loses its color?"'

Hmm. "Heir" could mean son.

But what will he have when his son's hair loses its color?

He'll have a gray son. Grayson.

He's threatening to abduct Dick Grayson.

My stars.

Uh, sorry. Gotta run now. See you later, Dad.

[narrator] Within minutes, Barbara Gordon,

in her secret identity as Batgirl,

races in hopes of foiling the Riddler's plan.

Meanwhile, the Dynamic Duo as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson,

enter stately Wayne Manor.

- Alfred? - Funny. He's always here to greet us.

Holy surprise package.

- [Riddler] Hold it right there, Mr. Wayne. - The Riddler.

With a riddle. When is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush?

[laughs]

When it's an ambush.

No crime lab, Mr. Wayne. Promise, or there'll be no Dickie boy. Clear?

Don't let him scare you.

[Batgirl] Uh-oh. The Riddler is already here.

[Riddler] Can't four big men handle one teenage kid?

Geronimo!

- Thanks, Batgirl. - Hurry. Untie the others.

Run for it, Dick. Quickly.

Grab her. Grab her. Let go of me.

[Batgirl] Thanks for the lift.

Quick, after her. Don't let her get away.

[Dick] Careful. It's dangerous to fool around on diving boards.

Yeah?

You fellows really go off the deep end for a girl.

[Dick] Anyone for croquet?

Good work, Dick. Call the police. Hurry.

[gasps]

Ah. Take her, men. Now, Mr. Wayne, we've got our hostage.

Call off your crime lab or you'll never see Batgirl again.

Come on. We've gotta get Batgirl out of trouble.

To the Batcave, chum. On the double.

- Yes, commissioner. - The Riddler just phoned in another riddle.

"When is a double-crossed mastermind like a funny comedian?"

When he brings the house down.

He's warning us that if we go ahead with the crime lab, the walls will come down.

- Contact you later, commissioner. - Holy Jericho.

How can the Riddler make the walls come tumbling down?

I don't know, Robin. Let's check the construction site. To the Batmobile.

A riddle, men. If you had sandwiches here and rotten apples there,

which would you use to feed a hungry man?

Uh… The sandwiches here.

Correct. The sand which is here is what you'll use to weaken the concrete.

Mix a lot of sand into these cement bags.

[Punchcard] No, Caped Crusaders.

Ain't been a soul in this pit since the workmen left at 5:00.

[Riddler] They won't spot Batgirl in those dark shadows.

[narrator] Searching desperately for some way to attract Batman and Robin,

the girl crime fighter spots the construction crew's steam whistle.

[whistling]

Batman, there is someone down there.

Come on, Robin. Let's go have a look-see.

- There she is, Robin. - [Riddler] Let's get them, men.

Oh!

Up you go, chum.

Good thinking, Batgirl. Anytime you need us, just whistle.

Thanks, Boy Wonder.

[Batman] Sorry if I "board" you.

[Data] There's Batgirl and Robin.

That was a lead-pipe cinch.

There's more. Come on.

Punchcard, get Batman.

[Batman] Punch that on your card.

Batman, mayday!

[splashes]

- Help! - [Batman] One minute, Robin.

Stand aside, Crusaders. Let me by, and I'll let you go.

Riddle me this, Riddler. What kind of mill makes tire treads?

Uh, a treadmill?

That's my cue.

Stop it. Please. Turn it off.

That's what I call a running gag, Batman.

[siren wailing]

Here come the police for the wrap-up.

[Gordon] Good work, Crusaders.

I assure you, Mr. Wayne will be very grateful.

Yes, I'm sure he will.

Say, commissioner, how's your daughter, Barbara?

Oh, keeping herself busy.

She told me she's going to start working evenings at the Wayne Foundation.

[Batgirl] Well, I didn't tell a fib. This is the Wayne Foundation.

[theme music playing]