Original subtitles

I finally go for a job and get professionally ghosted.

Ring, asshole!

Ring for me with this new job!

CAT LADY: Ring‐a‐ling!

Sorry, had to.

‐ Well, I'm thrilled my emotional turmoil is funny to you.

I finally decided to follow my dumb dreams.

The least you could do is be supportive.

‐ I am!

That's why I'm here to pick up the ladies.

Their time with you has come to an end.

The who what now?

‐ Good to see you, Madam Secretary.

‐ Madame Secretary?

‐ Secretary of Defense Mechanisms.

This team here has been providing you

with round‐the‐clock emotional protection.

‐ They've been protecting me this whole time?

How do I not know about that?

‐ That's why they call us the, uh, Secret Service, ma'am.

We've been working 24/7

to keep your expectations low,

guard your heart, deflect with humor,

and absolutely never let any hope get too high

in a way that will result in harm to you.

‐ Well, that all sounds extremely useful. You're leaving?

Well, you don't need them anymore!

You are now one of those people who puts themselves out there,

takes risks, goes for things. ‐ I guess...

‐ Let's roll, ladies!

‐ Wait, if you all go,

then I'm on my own! I won't make it!

‐ Be careful out there.

‐ Okay. Grand opening checklist. Booze and barware.

‐ Check and check. ‐ Band?

‐ Uh, still working on that.

‐ Bartenders and bouncers? ‐ Both hired.

‐ Okay, what about stuff with me and you?

‐ Haven't gotten there on the list yet.

It's alphabetical, so I'm still on B.

‐ Listen.

I need to know where we stand. Where you stand.

‐ I know. I just...

can't think straight right now, okay? I mean, can we just

get through the opening and then deal with us, please?

‐ Fine. I need to go get more toilet paper anyway.

You know, for what it's worth,

three ladies rooms was not the best idea.

‐ Holy shit! This is incredible.

‐ I think I found a way to get us to Greece on our birthdays.

‐ Our birthdays are this weekend.

You said there were no flights, so I said let's move on.

‐ And I smiled, but didn't listen.

I reached out to an old contact from my PR days.

She's a travel guru. She'll get us there.

‐ Women, get over here and get excited about this bar for women!

‐ Holy shit. ‐ This is gorgeous!

I am freaking out for you!

‐ Welcome to the Gi Spot.

Hard to find, but once you do, it's a real good time.

‐ Are those tiny bowls of free hair ties?

This place is the promised land.

‐ I hope other people like it as much as you guys do

because I am so nervous right now. Like, how do people do this?

‐ Well, maybe I can help with that. Look, I feel horrible for fucking up

your whole musical guest situation.

So, to make it up to you, I talked to someone at the LA Reporter,

and she's gonna interview you guys and cover the opening for their hot list.

‐ Oh my god, are you serious?

‐ Oh my god. Oh my god.

Delphine replied to the follow‐up email Madison insisted I write!

‐ I told you being proactive works!

Wait, did it work?

‐ I'm seeing "thrilled" and "jump on a call to talk about start dates."

I can't believe this!

‐ This was for the opening, but what the hell?

This is a big deal. ‐ Yes!

‐ Woo!

‐ Jules, how do you feel? ‐ Good! Like, really, really good!

Wait, what if I ask Fender and the band he's touring with

to be your music act for the opening?

‐ I mean, yeah, that would be amazing.

Do you think he'd do it?

‐ I think he would if he was my boyfriend.

‐ Uh, cheers to that.

‐ Wait, did you say fucking boyfriend?

‐ I think I did. I don't know.

I think I've been beating around the Australian bush for too long.

He's great, and‐and‐and...

I actually wanna go for it. ‐ Look at you, going for stuff.

‐ That's what she does these days. ‐ I'm gonna text him.

‐ I wanna win Liam back! ‐ Okay, we need more champagne.

‐ The other day, I was watching the auto‐generated montage

of all the pictures of us on my phone, and it just hit me.

I want him back.

‐ What do I keep saying about pro‐activity?

You need to reach out to him and tell him how you feel.

‐ With all due respect, that idea stinks.

I need to do something big and dramatic.

‐ Oh fuck. Speaking of big and dramatic,

I just realized if I quit,

I have to tell Celeste.

‐ You said you wanted to talk, so...

do you want to... talk?

‐ Yes. Um...

I do.

I just wanted to say...

Thank you so much for everything‐‐

‐ You're quitting? ‐ Um,

I kinda had a whole speech planned out.

‐ Okay, do your speech. ‐ It's been...

amazing working for you, Celeste‐‐

‐ So much for my legacy, I guess. ‐ Okay, I'm just gonna skip

to the main part you actually need to hear.

‐ Ah.

‐ You pushing me to take this promotion

and to really care?

It's what ended up helping me find something else

I care about a lot.

So, even though it's not your company,

that will always have started with you.

‐ Okay.

And as long as you're not leaving

to start yet another fucking women's lifestyle brand,

which you're not, are you? ‐ No.

‐ Then, I am genuinely happy for you.

‐ Honestly, you seem happy.

It's almost scarier than what I was expecting.

‐ Well, my divorce got finalized today,

so I guess I'm just having a moment.

‐ Wow, congratulations.

‐ I'm ready for some silence.

I've just been screaming for the past year or so.

I'm headed out tomorrow to a silent meditation retreat.

No phones, no talking.

Just the Maldives.

And you can sneak in wine if you pay the right people.

‐ Well, um...

Thanks again for everything. ‐ Okay.

Did you... want a hug?

‐ Not really. ‐ Great, thank you for that.

G'day, Jules, it's the guy you call Fender.

Congrats on the new job. And I'm in for the opening.

So, uh, can't wait to see you.

‐ Ooh.

Delphine, hi! I'm so excited.

What?

Okay, so what does that mean?

The budget?

So, like a few months or...

Wow, longer than. Okay.

Yeah, I'm sorry, too.

Yeah, thanks.

‐ Morning, superstar!

I got you a congratulatory latte from that place with the long fucking line.

‐ The job fell through.

Something about budget and the higher‐ups

in the department questioning if I have the right experience.

I found out last night after I quit.

‐ Oh my god, Jules. I am so sorry.

Did you sleep in that?

‐ I didn't sleep. ‐ We can fix this.

First, we create counterpoints.

Then, we reach out to other modern art museums in LA.

CAMLA is just one of the many options‐‐ ‐ Madison.

Madison, stop. Okay?

There's nothing we can do about this.

‐ So what, you just want to sit here and feel miserable?

‐ Well, that's better than trying to control things

and making myself miserable that way. Yeah.

‐ And that's what I do?

‐ If I didn't push the museum to give me an answer,

I would still have my old job right now.

‐ A job that you don't even want. That you never wanted.

Wow.

Okay, well, I'm not gonna sit here and feel like this is my fault.

I have to get to my travel guru meeting.

‐ I didn't mean it was...

Q: I don't subscribe to the pun aesthetic,

but I‐I do appreciate your sign.

‐ I appreciate your chef selection.

‐ We're texting already.

‐ Jules still isn't here yet? No.

No, she's bailing on her own goodbye lunch,

which is honestly a very me move.

‐ Okay, so I'm planning a grand gesture

to try and win Liam back. Here's the choices. Ready?

"A," float the idea of a threesome.

"B," make him his favorite dessert.

Or "C," send him a Cameo by Kelly Clarkson.

‐ Mm, this is so hard

because they're all equally so bad.

‐ I don't hate the Clarkson one.

‐ Okay. Alright.

Well, the time has come. I'm off.

Ready for the world to shut the fuck up.

What's the occasion?

‐ Oh, Jules' goodbye lunch.

‐ Well, there'll be some big shoes to fill around here.

I'm not paying for that!

SKY: So, are you gonna go out for the job?

Campaign to be the next right hand?

‐ Celeste is gonna pick who Celeste wants,

and I have to stop trying to force her

to notice me the way that I want her to.

Plus, I need to focus all my energy

on the one person who's noticed me all along. Liam.

Oh my god. I...

I still have his key.

What do you think his building's policy is

on releasing doves inside?

‐ Did Celeste leave yet?

I have to tell her that I un‐quit.

‐ That's like trying to unhookup with someone.

It can't really be done. I've tried it.

‐ She's gone, Jules. Turned her phone off, too.

‐ Gone? She can't be gone!

God, what am I thinking? I can't be a go‐getter. I have to...

to go get her!

‐ Run, you flaky bitch!

‐ Eleanor, you look exactly the same.

You have not changed at all.

‐ Well, I bought some new earrings.

That's pretty much it. They're jade.

‐ They're beautiful.

‐ So, what's up?

‐ I'm really hoping you can help me.

I am desperate to get to Greece with my best friend for our 30th birthdays.

‐ Oh, Greece is magical.

I had a one‐night stand there that lasted two years.

Her name was Soledad.

‐ Wow. Uh...

Yeah, so all the flights are sold out,

but I knew you always had ways of getting people places.

You know, like little inside track,

little back‐door emergency‐type situations.

‐ I can't do Greece. How about Moscow? Guy chartered a plane

for his two Komodo dragons.

They'll be in cages! At least, I think so.

‐ It has to be Greece. It has to be.

‐ No, it doesn't. You can go anywhere you want.

‐ No, I can't.

‐ Now, I remember you.

You're the one who hasn't changed.

You need to let go of your itinerary,

go somewhere else.

‐ I don't understand.

I mean, you have to make things happen.

You have to have a plan or else you're never gonna get anywhere.

‐ We all wind up going to the same place at the end anyway.

‐ Dead?

‐ Florida!

LIV: My dad was an immigrant.

He owned a bunch of liquor stores,

and then from there, he ended up

opening the bar. ‐ Wow. So, were you two close?

‐ No. He was a bit of a dick.

Uh, maybe don't write "dick" though. My mom will give me shit.

Fuck. Can you not write "shit" either?

‐ What about you, Stella? Did you come up through hospitality?

‐ Uh, no, actually.

I was in corporate finance before this, so...

‐ How long did you do that? ‐ Twoish... days? I mean, you know, three,

if you count the one where you fill out all the paperwork.

I just decided it wasn't the right fit.

You know, which is something I thought I wanted when I was at Wharton.

‐ Uh, what year did you graduate there?

‐ Well, you know, I technically still have a year left.

But, um... just trying to figure out

if I'm gonna finish it yet, so...

‐ I see.

And before business school?

‐ Uh, little bit of a lot.

Yeah. You know, I was kind of hopping,

um, hopping from one thing to another for a while.

Not that I do that, but...

‐ Well, now that you've landed here,

do you think this new venture

will be the thing you stick with?

‐ Oh yeah. No, definitely.

Yes.

Definitely, I mean...

We're in it.

Okay.

This is gonna be so romantic...

No one can resist.

Yes, I do love you, too. Okay.

LIAM: I'm sorry, but no.

I refuse to watch Real Housewives with you.

GIRL: God, you are so stubborn!

‐ He's with a girl?

God, hold on, hold on. Something's going on.

‐ No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

Oh... Oh!

Ow...

‐ Uh, Kelly, I gotta call you back.

‐ Oh my god, your cousin Kelly. ‐ Whoa...

Tell her I said hi.

‐ Celeste? Celeste!

GATE ATTENDANT : Flight PF210 to Singapore

continuing to the Maldives is now boarding.

‐ Celeste, wait!

What‐what are you doing here?

‐ You've made so much progress. Don't do this.

Don't un‐quit. ‐ I have to.

This isn't some stupid vision board, okay? This is my life.

‐ Exactly. This is your life.

So, don't panic and settle. Don't move backwards.

‐ I don't know if I can live like this. I'm not Madison.

‐ You don't have to be Madison, but you can't be me either.

I'm the old you. You have to keep moving forward.

You have to let me go, please.

‐ I'm so damn proud of her.

IZZY: Um...

So, I'm sorry about the whole

banana‐cream‐breaking‐and‐entering thing.

What's wrong? ‐ You have a little...

‐ Oh...

I should probably go.

‐ Izzy, wait.

You obviously came here for a reason.

I want to know what that is.

‐ Um...

I'm sorry that I pushed you away.

It was just so hard for me to believe that you loved me

when I didn't even love me.

But, I'm trying really hard not to be my own worst enemy anymore,

and I would like another chance with you.

And trust me, I know that...

I'm a lot,

but I also finally know that I'm enough.

Do I still have frosting on my face?

‐ No.

‐ That's awesome.

‐ Oh. Yeah, you still got something in your hair.

‐ Fuck you, vision board.

Shit! Shit! Fuck! Fuck!

‐ I arrived fashionably on time for your big night.

‐ Ah! Jules,

she named drinks after us.

I'm currently drinking a Fizzy Izzy.

A Fizzy Izzy?

‐ Can I recommend a Moscow Jules?

‐ Oh my god!

Mm! Ooh, she's strong.

‐ Hell yeah, she is.

‐ Ooh, um, so before Madison gets here,

she texted me last night that she couldn't make Greece happen.

And I know she's really upset,

so I'm doing a little surprise birthday thing at my house for her after this.

‐ Ooh, I love an after‐party vibe.

‐ I stayed up all last night planning it,

and I really think she's gonna love it. ‐ Oh.

‐ Hi!

Stel, there is a full‐on line outside.

People are annoyed in a way that is very, very exciting for you.

Ooh! Is this the cocktail menu?

‐ Yes. Oh my god.

An espresso Mad‐tini? I mean,

would it be your signature drink if there wasn't caffeine in it?

‐ I'm gonna cry.

‐ I'm gonna go say hi to Liv.

‐ Um...

I'm sorry Greece didn't work out.

‐ No, I'm sorry. You know, sometimes I push too hard.

‐ So, your guru couldn't help you?

‐ She did help, actually. So did you.

‐ Well, you helped me, too.

No matter what happens with this CAMLA thing,

it was the right move to move on from all my old stuff.

‐ Well, not all of it.

‐ Alright. I have your espresso Mad‐tini.

‐ You did good, Stella.

‐ Yeah, she's a pretty romantic lady,

aren't you, schmoop?

‐ Yes. He gets me,

and now he's got me. We're so happy for you guys.

‐ We don't even mind hearing the word schmoop.

That's how happy we are.

Ooh, Sky and Q just got here. Let's go tell them the news.

‐ Hi! ‐ Oh. Um, will you go tell them?

I want you to walk away, so I can talk about you.

‐ Oh. Okay.

IZZY: Wait, actually, I wanna tell them, too.

‐ Oh! My god. ‐ I heard this party needs

some musical entertainment. It's you!

‐ And not just me.

This is Josh, Sarah, Dave‐‐ Phantogram. Oh shit.

‐ Wait, wait, are you guys actually going to play?

‐ Is that okay? ‐ We don't have to.

‐ No, please! Please, yes. I'll help you set up.

So, I don't know who you are, but I'm very impressed.

‐ This is Fender, and, uh, me, too.

‐ Well, I can't take all the credit for getting them to play.

‐ I heard Fender was trying to help you out,

and I knew I owed you all a favor.

‐ Wow.

‐ Hi, Jules.

Can we talk for a minute?

It's okay if you don't want to though.

‐ Sure.

‐ Lots of reunions happening tonight.

Glad to be back. ‐ I'm glad you're back.

Thank you for doing this.

‐ Jules, can I ask you something?

Is that a tiny ball of complimentary hair ties?

‐ Yes. Yes, it is.

‐ I know I'm not the target demo, but I think this is my favorite bar.

‐ I just need to say that

I know I haven't exactly been ready to do...

this. Um... you?

‐ You haven't been ready to do me. Got it.

‐ But, I am now.

Um, I put that other thing to bed.

‐ Now, the word "bed" is in the mix.

‐ I'm attempting to be serious!

‐ Okay, good. I'm...

So, does this mean that we're finally gonna leave

an evening together together?

‐ Um, well, no. I still have to leave without you,

but it's Madison's birthday,

so it's a very different situation this time.

‐ Oh yeah? Why is it different?

‐ Did you know this place has three bathrooms?

‐ Oh.

‐ Anyway, yeah. So, I decided to start my own label

to compete with my dad, of course.

And, wow, do I know how you feel. It's so hard.

‐ Good for you. Your dad's a lot.

‐ Look, I don't expect you to totally forgive me,

but I just wanted to say I was sorry.

‐ Well, thank you. I'm about to turn 30,

and I just wanna have a clean slate.

Literally. I set my vision board on fire.

‐ Celeste had this sent to the office

from the Maldives for you.

‐ The package slip said it cost $4,700 to overnight it.

So, open it!

CELESTE: With silence comes clarity.

It's always been you. Be my right hand?

‐ Oh my god...

‐ Wow. ‐ I can't believe this!

‐ You deserve this, babe. ‐ Oh my god!

‐ Hey. Can we talk?

‐ Yeah.

Turns out, this idea of yours was a pretty good one.

People love it.

‐ I know. We did it.

So, you know

that I'm crazy about you and Bruno, okay?

And I was just torn before

because I was worried about hurting him

if things didn't work out between us.

‐ That's why I said from the beginning that we shouldn't involve Bruno

if you weren't ready.

‐ I know, but I wanted to dive in with you because that's what I do.

Okay? You know, and I realized in the interview today

that I may do that a lot.

So, I think

I just really have to push myself...

to commit.

‐ So, what does that mean?

‐ It means that I don't have to worry about hurting Bruno

if I just decide I'm not going anywhere.

And that's what I've decided.

‐ I'm glad you made that decision.

But,

I have to make one, too.

For me and for my son.

Listen, I'm so proud

of the business we've built.

And I wanna stay partners and do it together.

I do. But...

I can't do...

me and you anymore.

‐ Okay...

But I want to make this work.

‐ I don't wanna be a challenge you have to push yourself to live up to.

That's not what I want.

SARAH : Sound check. Mic one, mic two.

‐ The band is starting. ‐ Hm.

‐ We shouldn't miss it. ‐ Okay.

Check one, two, three. Check one, two, three.

Hey, everybody, we're Phantogram!

Welcome to the Gi Spot!

‐ Hi!

‐ Celeste asked me to be her new right hand.

‐ Izzy, that's incredible!

No one deserves it more than you.

MADISON: We are so happy for you.

‐ You okay? ‐ Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.

`

‐ What are we doing in your garage?

‐ Birthday surprise.

‐ Oh, you got me a car?

‐ Just wait for it.

‐ Are a bunch of people about to jump out and yell "surprise" at me?

Because I need to emotionally prepare for that.

‐ Not quite.

‐ Oh my god.

It's Greece.

‐ Whoa, Jules.

You did this?

Like, with a computer? ‐ Okay,

those museum people don't know what they're talking about.

‐ Happy birthday, Madison.

Figured you should get at least one thing you wanted by 30.

‐ I already had.

IZZY: Holy shit, Santorini?

STELLA: Let's party in Greece!