Original subtitles

‐ So...

‐ So...

‐ No.

We have to talk about this before anything happens between us.

I want this all to be above board.

‐ Of course. So do I.

‐ So, Lucy's hand is... ‐ Broken.

‐ Because of the... ‐ Robot.

The automated little idiot came out of nowhere,

just as I was helping her move.

And not that anybody should be pointing fingers,

but I blame Elon Musk for some reason.

‐ But walk me through why she has to move back in with you?

Everything can't be Elon's fault.

‐ I think it can be.

‐ Look, she got really hurt, and I didn't know what else to do.

Her parents don't live here, and there's no one else to take care of her.

‐ You are so nice.

That's the thing I like about you the most.

That, and the...

dimples near your mouth.

Ah bap bap! Not so fast, sir.

I just want some reassurance on the details here, so that we can be...

clear that neither of us is doing anything wrong by‐‐

‐ Desperately wanting to kiss each other right now?

‐ That, yes.

‐ Okay. What do you need to know?

‐ Okay.

How long have you actually been broken up?

‐ Uh, like a month. ‐ A month?!

That is not that long! That's a blip! Are you sure it's over?

‐ It's completely mutually over.

Lucy's wonderful, but we're just not compatible.

You know, we‐we have different love languages.

She hates the way that I chew,

and I don't love how she talks to waiters.

‐ Okay. I believe you.

Well, maybe we should wait to do...

stuff until she moves back out.

When's she get her cast off?

‐ Like a month.

‐ A month?! That's forever!

‐ Look, why don't we just take things slow?

You know, we don't have to be physical.

It doesn't matter to me as...

as long as I get to see you.

‐ Really?

‐ Really.

Sorry.

It's Lucy. ‐ Oh!

‐ Hey! Hey.

I'm really sorry to bother you, but I fell in the bathtub.

‐ Lucy, I told you to wait until I got home to take a bath!

I know, I thought I'd be fine. I'm sorry.

‐ I'll be right there. Don't move. Thank you.

Sorry. Uh...

Kiss goodbye? ‐ Really?

A woman is on the bathroom floor!

Go!

STELLA: This is it.

Say goodbye to your dad's bar.

‐ Buh‐bye.

‐ I mean, you're literally taking down the patriarchy

and putting up a bar for women.

‐ Yeah. We're like Gloria Steinem and Ruth Bader Ginsburg,

fighting for a woman's right to drink too much rosé.

‐ And only one bathroom in a bar for women? Not on our watch.

This place is gonna be full of toilets. ‐ Totally.

Maybe we don't lead with that marketing‐wise though.

‐ Yeah, fair point.

Okay, let's do it. ‐ Alright.

‐ Oh wait! Glasses! ‐ Right.

This is way better than therapy!

Okay, let's stop for a sec.

‐ Your dad must've really been an asshole.

‐ You don't even know.

Oh. My hair's caught. Ow.

‐ Here, one second.

Wait, it's really stuck in there.

‐ How does your breath taste so pepperminty? We just woke up.

‐ I've been up for an hour.

I already brushed my teeth and put on some light foundation to get that

"She just woke up. How she can be that luminous" look.

‐ Isn't the point of doing all that not to tell me?

‐ Yes, absolutely.

But, I feel closer when we share things. ‐ Okay.

Is that why you think we should do a project together?

‐ I am convinced that a Woöm X Saaqq collab

is an incredible idea that will make us both look amazing to our bosses.

Yes.

‐ It would be good to have access to a female market

for our new product since it's unisex.

‐ Exactly, and if I bring a male audience to Woöm,

I'll be a hero.

Celeste will practically throw a parade in my honor.

Or just say hi when we're alone in the elevator together.

‐ I guess it could be fun working on something together.

‐ We'll be like a power couple.

You'll be the Beyoncé to my Jay‐Z.

‐ Interesting I'm not the man in that one.

‐ Well, you're a better dancer, and I look better in hats.

WOMAN : Welcome to my OnlyFans.

Lotus Dragon Bebe here.

This dance is for you.

‐ I mean, this is porn, right?

‐ This is incredible. She's hot.

‐ Where does one get a sword in modern‐day times?

‐ I just don't know if I wanna start my roster

as an independent publicist with a porn star.

‐ Whoa, OnlyFans is not porn.

Porn‐adjacent might be more fair.

‐ Sorry. "Erotic content creator."

She wants to meet with me.

‐ If I learned anything in business school, you always take the meeting.

‐ I'm not sure I know how to take someone named

"Lotus Dragon Bebe" to the next level.

‐ Her name is tongue‐in‐cheek.

‐ Like this picture? Lit‐literally.

‐ Okay, can't we as Asian women own our own sexuality, too?

I mean, I know I definitely do.

- What do you think, Jules? - Did you know

you can just order a broad sword on Amazon? It's a weapon.

I blame Elon Musk for some reason.

But about this, I'm with Stella. At least take the meeting.

‐ I think so, too. Jules,

speaking of meetings...

So, Celeste said I should pitch the collab with Saaqq to you first

because she wants you on board.

‐ I know, she CC'd me.

And, just a note for the future,

when you make the subject of an email

"opportunity of a lifetime, act now,"

it does make it look like insurance spam.

‐ Copy that. Um, so you'll help me

sell this idea to Celeste?

‐ Well, I don't know what I'm selling 'cause you refuse to say

what the product is.

‐ That's because it's a collab, and I'm waiting for my collab ‐orator

to pitch it to you or else it'll ruin it.

‐ Well, I'm excited to hear. ‐ You should be.

‐ So, how's it going with the bar, Stel?

‐ Pretty good. Liv and I started demo this week,

picked some paint colors, had sex, found an electrician...

‐ I'm sorry, what was that before the electrician?

‐ Yeah. Liv and I hooked up. Just happened.

‐ Well, uh,

that's amazing.

‐ Yeah. So amazing.

‐ We are so proud of you.

‐ Proud of me? For quitting my lucrative internship

for a totally unpredictable venture,

and then fucking my new business partner, or... what part?

‐ I think we meant more proud as in, um,

capital P "Pride"

kind of way.

‐ Hm. And the award for best performance by a supportive straight group of friends

goes to... Okay, real opinions, please.

‐ Tricky. ‐ Complicated.

‐ Turned on, yet concerned.

‐ I mean, I just want this bar thing to work out,

and I don't want the sex thing to get in the way.

Even though it was great.

Like really great.

‐ It could get messy still.

‐ Well, listen, what can I say? Life is messy.

You know, you have all these rules, and then one day,

they all go out the window and get hit by a delivery robot.

I saw Wes today.

‐ I thought you said his girlfriend moved back in because of her hand.

‐ Ex ‐girlfriend, and she did.

‐ Jules, I am telling you. Do not go there.

Take it from someone who was told one thing, and then got totally screwed.

‐ No, I know. And we're not gonna do anything

until she moves back out. It's just...

Hard.

‐ Okay. Are we actually seeing

Jules Wiley sexually frustrated?

‐ It's horrible! I feel like I'm in eighth grade.

‐ Well, I can tell you what I did in eighth grade,

and it involved ruining several electric toothbrushes.

‐ Very graphic.

‐ Seems to me like this is a DIY situation.

Oh my god. You haven't?

‐ You don't? ‐ Well...

I just kind of always had a boyfriend

who did the... penis.

What?! Stop! Look away!

‐ Sadly, this explains a lot.

‐ I wanna make a "don't be such a pussy" joke,

but it feels like it'll just be sad.

‐ So, as you can see, I've worked with

a lot of clients at my old firm who transitioned from...

less traditional mediums into all sorts of things.

Music, modeling, acting, whatever you're interested in.

‐ I mean, I'm interested in all of it.

Like, total domination, so...

‐ Well, I think if Bella Thorne can go from Disney to OnlyFans,

we can definitely reverse engineer that for your image, too.

‐ Reverse engineer my image?

‐ Uh... You know what I mean.

‐ Yeah, I do.

Were you in your high school's Future Business Leaders of America Club?

‐ It's called Phi Beta Lambda, and that was college.

‐ Hm.

Well, so...

I graduated from Brown,

I majored in art history,

and I bring in six figures making my own kind of art

with me as the subject.

I know exactly what I'm doing,

and I don't need my image cleaned up.

‐ Of course. You know, I'm just trying to help you be able to get

all the opportunities you're looking for.

‐ Well, I don't think I need some judge‐y uptight publicist working for me.

So, I'm good.

Actually, no.

I'm great.

You know, it was my friends who told me I had to take this meeting,

and I did.

So, thanks.

I'm just saying I think we need to be putting out more literature

on how often you're supposed to wash your bra.

People do not know.

‐ First of all, hard agree with that.

‐ Thank you!

‐ Second, are you guys sticking around

for the pitch Izzy and her boyfriend are doing?

‐ Big yes. She gave me the rundown, and I'm so excited.

I just love bad community theater.

‐ Yeah, plus we were promised free dinner.

‐ Someone say "free dinner"?

IZZY: Okay, you guys.

Thank you so much for staying late tonight.

Now, I am thrilled to introduce you to Liam,

senior brand director at Saaqq, and also

senior boyfriend director at our relationship

because he is my boyfriend.

‐ Hot start.

‐ I lost interest early on, but I respect you for this.

Okay then,

why don't you tell us what this mystery product is?

‐ Okay, picture this.

You're a young hot single out on the town.

‐ You're ready for a big night when you drop by your local watering hole.

‐ There you are, sipping a vod‐ton at the bar,

when suddenly, you lock eyes with a hottie across the room.

And in an instant,

you both know...

It's on.

‐ Wow. It's everything I wanted and more.

‐ Naturally, you both make your way to the bathroom

for an impromptu romp around.

‐ Naturally.

‐ What year do we think this is taking place in?

‐ But, shoot!

You didn't get a chance to freshen up down there.

‐ But worry not, sexy single, because you've got...

Faire à Mone.

The first pheromone‐based unisex genital spray

designed to both sanitize and seduce.

‐ It's cologne meets perfume meets Purell meets Viagra.

‐ For when you meet that special someone on the go.

‐ Smells like cum put on deodorant.

‐ Well... what'd you think?

‐ We know a female brand partner could really help us market it

since the spray's for everyone.

‐ For everyone...

who has sex in public bathrooms?

‐ Oh, that's just the example we use for the pitch.

We think there are a lot of places that people have sex unexpectedly.

I mean, the last time me and Liam went to Target‐‐

‐ Okay, I get it. I...

‐ So... you love it?

‐ I‐I would say more that I appreciate...

the notion behind its...

intention.

‐ So, it's a yes?

‐ Let me jump in. I think I can help here.

She's saying she hates it. I agree.

I'm getting that Jules finds this idea to be just, like,

complete trash. ‐ Even body language‐wise,

I'm feeling a "no" from her.

‐ Okay.

I just don't think Celeste is gonna like this idea.

I'm sorry.

‐ Okay.

Uh, thank you, Jules.

‐ Thank you.

And, um...

sorry?

‐ Hey, you have a sec?

‐ Hey. Yeah.

After the other day, I figured this talk was coming.

‐ I think this version of the budget's still missing a few things.

‐ The budget?

That's what you wanted to talk about? Budget?

‐ Yeah. I mean, money's kind of a crucial part

of this whole business thing we're doing, right?

‐ Right. Yeah, no. Of course.

‐ Uh, hey, I'm gonna go pick up Bruno, but take a look at that

and lemme know what you think tomorrow.

Later.

‐ Later.

Okay.

"Who wants to drink all this with me?"

"Later."

I mean...

‐ Sorry I'm late.

I had a very important email to send to Celeste

with the Saaqq collab pitch deck.

‐ You didn't... ‐ I did.

Um, can you guys scooch?

‐ Izzy, please! I was just trying to do my job

and also protect you.

Can we switch to being friends right now instead of coworkers?

‐ Is that an order, boss?

‐ This isn't easy for me either, Iz. I don't like being your boss.

‐ You're her boss now? ‐ Oof.

And that "oof" is coming from experience.

It's hard working with someone you're having sex with.

‐ That's so not the same thing. ‐ Truly different problems.

‐ I know. I just need to talk about my thing.

I mean, Liv is acting like we are two people

who haven't seen all of each other's body parts.

‐ Isn't that... good?

Same page kinda thing, no? I just figured

she'd wanna talk about how she was feeling.

And now, her ignoring it and acting like it never happened is just‐‐

‐ Exactly what you've done to every person you've slept with ever?

‐ A valid point that is very unhelpful in this moment.

‐ Wha...

Wait, now you're mad at me? No.

I'm just sitting next to Jules 'cause she looked lonely.

‐ Thank you! I was lonely.

‐ Ugh. You know what? I have no advice to give anyone about anything.

I am also being ignored by a beautiful woman right now,

and it is my fault.

‐ The Bebe is ignoring you?

‐ Yep. She said I was an uptight overachiever.

Thanks.

She thought that I was being judgmental, and, you know,

I guess she was right, but the thing is...

I really feel I can get her to the next level on her career.

She's smart, ambitious, really talented.

I blew it.

‐ Well, you can't just give up. You have to figure out a way to get to her.

‐ She does this erotic dance class once a week with some girls from the app.

‐ You want me to take an erotic dance class?

‐ To prove to her that there's more to you than her first impression. A lot more.

‐ And, it's Wes.

Decline.

‐ Proud of you.

‐ Madison, please tell Jules that I think that was a very strong move.

‐ Wow. That shows resolve, J.

Looks like you RSVP'd to that party of one.

‐ Okay, that is my least favorite way to phrase that,

but no. I did not. I...

I got too in my head.

‐ Did you try watching anything?

‐ Like sex footage?

‐ Okay, since that's what you just called porn,

I'm gonna go with no.

‐ It doesn't always have to be porn.

Sometimes, I just watch those last few episodes of Bridgerton, and...

Sorry. Forgot I was mad at you.

‐ Madison, you don't either, right?

‐ I am not that uptight! God!

And if you must know, I prefer girl‐on‐girl.

Not exactly sure why... ‐ Very common.

Jules, if you're gonna stick to your guns and not see Wes until his ex is gone,

it's business time.

And you work at home. Alone.

‐ I can give you timecodes.

‐ Okay.

I can do this. I'm a grown woman.

No one can see my internet search history except for me.

God help me.

‐ Heard you ordered a hot and steamy meat lover's.

‐ No, no, no! No sausage for me.

‐ I'm here to fix your pipes, ma'am.

I hear they're leaky. And wet.

‐ Nope! No leaks here. My pipes are clogged,

and that is how I like 'em.

‐ You've been a naughty girl.

‐ This is getting a little too male‐gazey for me.

‐ Then I've been a naughty girl.

‐ Thank god.

This feels normal. What's this one? ‐ Oh, everything is normal.

Except you're my step‐mom.

‐ No!

Delete search history forever!

‐ Hi.

‐ Wow! Hi!

You're taking this class?

‐ I came to say I'm sorry.

I guess I was being judgmental.

And I want to show you that I'm not uptight.

You know, I can hang and roll. All that.

Look, I think you're amazing, and I really would love to represent you.

LOTUS DRAGON BEBE: Well, you know what they say.

Don't tell me. Show me.

JULES: Madison!

MADISON: I love you guys so much right now.

I can't believe you came. I can't believe it either,

but we know you need other bad dancers to seem less pathetic, so here I am.

We saw you

talking with Miss Bebe. Did you guys smooth things over?

‐ I think I have to prove myself through dance.

‐ Well, this is an '80s movie, so that makes perfect sense. Can you dance though?

‐ Just get out of your head and into your heels.

‐ Hi, gorgeous creatures.

Get your kneepads! We're going hard today!

Okay, honeys!

We're building off the combo from last week,

so let me get my regulars up here...

come, come, come, come, come...

so we can show our newbies

what we're learning today.

Five! Six!

Five, six, ready, work!

Woo! Okay, let's make lines!

Break this down by eight counts.

Arch those backs, kitties!

‐ God...

I feel like Velma searching for her glasses.

Am I doing this wrong?

‐ You sure you want my opinion? Thought you hated my ideas.

‐ Izzy, please! I love your ideas, and I love you.

I just know what's in Celeste's head now,

and trust me. I don't want to be in there.

It's haunting!

I really was just trying to protect you.

‐ Less talking, more crawling.

‐ I know. Celeste replied to my email,

and she said it was the worst idea she's heard

since the flavored breast milk thing.

‐ Now, the kick!

Legs in the air, ladies!

‐ Is this the best time for that?

‐ What? The lighting in here is good.

Plus I haven't talked to Liv all day, so I thought it would be...

‐ Desperate? ‐ I was gonna say flirty, but.

‐ Okay, newbies. You're up.

‐ Let's see what you got. ‐ Hit it.

‐ Um...

I have a doctor's note.

‐ It's on the back of a business card

from Jim's Locksmith Service.

‐ They share an office.

I have a condition where I'm...

terrible at dancing,

so I'm just gonna... I'll be over here.

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ You got this!

‐ Five, six, ready, work!

LOTUS DRAGON BEBE: Okay...

Yes!

Damn, damn, damn, damn, oh!

Okay!

‐ You guys were so good.

I would've done it if I had any actual muscle in my body.

‐ Wait, a thumbs up? For that photo?

Okay, I feel crazy. I have to talk to her.

‐ It's weird to see her human.

LOTUS DRAGON BEBE: Hey, babes.

Wanna grab a smoothie?

Talk maybe me taking over the world

and you being the publicist to help me do that?

‐ I would love that.

‐ Okay, let's go.

‐ Love you guys.

‐ Um, can we talk?

‐ Yes. I have to admit

seeing how much worse you are at dancing than me

really helped complete the healing of my bruised ego.

‐ I was thinking what if I told Celeste to give you more responsibility?

Maybe not the sex spray thing. I mean,

definitely not the sex spray thing, but in general.

I know you can handle it.

‐ Really? ‐ Yeah.

If I can't use my power to help my friends,

what am I doing? ‐ Thanks, Jules.

I know it wasn't easy for you either. You have no natural bitch in you.

‐ Why are you pretending like we didn't sleep together?

‐ I'm not pretending we didn't.

Okay, I just don't wanna mess up our business.

‐ Neither do I. I mean, this is a huge risk for me.

‐ And you made me believe this dream was even possible.

I don't wanna lose that by doing...

Something dumb.

‐ Right.

Which is unfortunate because, I mean, the sex was‐‐

‐ Really fucking good.

‐ Actually, I was gonna say...

really fucking good.

‐ Um, this is dirty.

Office.

‐ Glad you called.