Original subtitles

Wonderful.

Wonderful.

You're a beaut.

I dream of gods like you.

Okay, oh, that's nice. Magnifique.

That's good.

That's good.

That's nice.

Very good.

Very good.

That's nice.

That's beautiful.

Oh la la.

Okay, pose there so I can --

That girl is a pawn. Goddamn pawn.

She's the best I have.

Tres bien!

I like.

I love you.

I love you.

Ooh, more, more.

Magnifique.

I love you.

I dream of you. I love you. -Roger.

Roger, tone it down.

[somber, wistful string music]

I adore you.

Roger.

Don't bite.

[answering machine] Hi, there -- -I want to gobble you up.

Roger.

This is you know who! [indistinct]

Why don't you turn that off?

[shushes]

Roger.

You're perfect.

I love you, mon chéri.

I'll ask you again, marry me.

Roger, I'm too young to make that commitment, to you or to anyone.

I want to kiss you all over.

I wish you'd love me the way I love you.

I get excited every time I take your picture.

I want to kiss your toes.

I want to kiss your leg,

your waist,

your beautiful breasts,

your lips.

There.

Your pussy.

Eat me.

Lick my pussy.

Oh, lick my pussy.

That's it, spread my lips.

Oh, yes.

[moans]

Suck on my clit.

Suck.

Oh, yes.

Just flick your tongue on my clitoris.

Yes, like that.

Oh, yes.

[moans]

Oh, yes.

Again, baby.

On, lick those juices.

I want you to drink them.

Oh, yes, swallow them.

Oh, yes.

[moans]

Oh, yes.

[moans]

Oh, god, it's coming.

[moans]

[moans] Oh, yes.

[moans] Oh, yes.

Oh my god.

[maons] Oh, yes.

[moans]

[buzzing]

Oh shit, the door.

Yes.

Telegram for Ms. Consuelo.

I didn't know anyone still sent these things.

Roger, could you give the man a dollar?

Thanks.

What is it?

What is it, my darling?

Oh, shut up.

Let me preface my worth by telling you that both I, myself,

and the entire staff of Wesley, Wesley & Caragan,

extend our sympathies to you in the aftermath of this tragic event.

We were all very fond of your grandfather.

As you know, his fortune was not insubstantial.

His cash holdings, both national and international, amount to over $15 million.

Add to that real estate, factories, and equipment, total several million more.

You have been named as the sole heiress to his estate.

There is, however, one condition which I think I should bring to your attention.

Your grandfather was concerned for your protection after his death.

He wanted to make sure that you were not alone against the world.

He therefore stipulated as a condition of the will that you wed.

I can take care of myself, Mr. Wesley.

I'm sure you can, my dear.

However, you will not receive one penny of the estate

until you're committed to a state of legal matrimony.

Otherwise, the entire estate will be transferred to various charities.

Your grandfather has generously provided you with one month

with which to find yourself a husband.

I know he meant a lot to you.

My grandfather was the only one who ever cared.

You know we love you here.

You don't have to work today.

I will.

I won't be in this business much longer.

What?

I'm getting married.

Not to that phony French man?

Of course not.

Who?

I don't know,

but I have 30 days to find him

and then I'll never have to lie down in front of a camera

for the rest of my life.

It's marry or bust my ass in this lousy business until the age spots hit in.

Who's next?

Sit down.

Hi.

Tell me, Mr...?

Meredith.

Mr. Meredith, why do you want to become my husband?

My family is one of the wealthiest in the nation.

We own several petroleum refineries, a string of leather factories.

Your fortune would be stabilized by the addition of my own.

I see.

I'm also very good in bed.

Next.

You understand my position?

I'm obligated to take a husband.

What do you have to offer?

Thank you.

Next.

You're aware that this would be strictly a business relationship?

Oh, that would be just dandy.

I want a man who's completely uninterested in sex with me.

Believe me, I'm the man.

We'd really see each other quite infrequently.

Fine.

I'd like to do this as soon as possible.

Terrific.

Can you meet with my Rabbi in the morning?

Pardon me?

About the conversion.

Roger, what are you doing?

I thought that I would throw my cap into the ring.

Eat your cap.

Yes.

Jesus, you're pretty good for an older woman.

Ow.

Hey, Danny, I forgot how sensitive the old -- the little lady is.

[soft rock music]

You'd better be easy down there, or she'll bite your nose off.

I'll tell you, after this, I'm through with teenagers.

Yes, me too.

[moaning]

Let's try something else.

Come on.

Switch.

Wow.

Wow.

Oh, look at that.

So wet.

[moaning]

Yes, let's try it this way.

Come on.

Oh, good.

Stick it right in there.

Come here.

Stick it in my pussy.

Right there.

[moaning]

Oh, oh.

Oh, fuck.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.

Yes.

Oh.

Daddy.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, cum too.

[moans]

Oh, I love that.

[moans]

Oh, make me cum.

Yes.

Good.

Oh.

Not so much.

Aha.

Oh, yes.

Uh.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah.

Ah.

Oh, god.

Ah.

[heavy breathing]

Ah.

I'm cumming.

Ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

[moaning]

Ah.

Yes.

What's the matter?

I'm sorry that I insulted you about being old.

I mean, you're not that old, anyway.

It's not that.

Well, tell us.

It's Babe.

Mm.

We're going to lose her unless

I can find some way to prevent her from getting married.

That dead grandfather of hers and his multinational corporations.

Imagine him trying to marry her off to a perfect stranger.

Well, I'll marry her.

Hey, so will I.

Oh, no you don't.

You're both mine.

Take it easy.

I mean, somebody's got to do it.

Yes, I know, and when they do, she's through with us.

Why should she have to work modeling

when she can earn a fortune on the interest alone?

I'm so sorry to disturb you at home,

but an urgent business matter has come up.

I see that your company has been having problems.

I want to help with McLow & Rubbers, financially.

Yes, I thought that you would be interested.

I have a young lady with quite a sizable sum at her disposal.

This would be a rather unorthodox investment.

However, my client will salvage your company in return for your

hand in marriage.

[dial tone]

Mr. Laboo, I'm so thrilled you could make it here on such short notice.

Your ideas of fast food smoked clam pies sounded magnificent.

They are delicious pies.

Yes, I'm certain they are.

My client, in exchange for your hand in marriage,

will market those pies from Seattle to Secaucus.

You have a good product.

Yes. Now, let's arrange a meeting right away

and set a date for the marriage. Let's say...four weeks from today.

No.

No, no.

This is pie-baking season.

I bake until October.

We'll marry then.

My client must marry immediately.

I am sorry, but the pies are first, always first.

Though, I should love to take you up on such a marvelous offer.

The pies, they --

I know.

They come first.

Ever heard of Villa Tampons?

They invented toxic shock.

All your doing?

Yep.

I can make anybody broke. For the right price, of course.

15 mill.

No problem.

When's the date?

The 14th.

Great.

You've got yourself and a bride.

Ms. Karen.

We're in business, or shall I say out of business.

If you'll just send the young woman to my priest in the morning.

Priest?

To conversion.

Conversion?

Forget it.

[indistinct chatter]

Another?

No, I better not.

How much do I owe you?

$23.50.

My purse.

It was here just a moment ago.

Oh, damn it.

No, Mr. Wesley.

Not yet.

I know, only a few days left.

Finding someone isn't as easy as it sounds.

Good day.

Damn it.

[traffic noise]

[moody music]

Whatever I can tell you, I will tell.

This land, all of it, is a blessed ground.

For we, faithful to our queen [indistinct].

This country, my dear man, is honored [indistinct] history

than in the hearts of the people.

Lo, talk to the city.

Is it thus the rousing guard that brings me to the battleground?

Look, the hound that chaseth begs my cozening.

Well, take your fittest standings

and once more lime your twigs to catch this wary bird.

I'll leave you.

And at your dags discharge, make towards like the longing water dog

that coucheth "iil the fouling piece be off,

then ceaseth on the prey with eager mood.

All right, kids, I think you've got your bits down.

Aye.

That will doeth, Freddie boy.

I warrant thee.

You mean we can finally go?

For t'will be very late 'er we get home.

Oh, Sara, stick around.

Let's practice the Act 4 speech one more time.

Give the girl a break, Chad.

I know that you would rehearse all night, but this isn't the royal Shakespeare.

I'm going anyway.

For that speech.

Come on, let's go.

I still think Marlowe was the match of Shakespeare any day.

Make love to me.

No one could even touch his depiction of evil.

Let me try.

Sara.

Yes, darling?

Do you think we're neglecting the Greeks?

Fuck my ass.

[funky rock music]

[moans] Oh, oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

[moans]

Yes.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Fuck my ass.

Oh, yes.

Harder.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

[funky music]

Oh, oh.

[moans] Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Oh.

[funky rock music]

Oh, oh.

Oh, oh.

Be resolute, mistress mine.

Now, farewell and see you confess nothing in my case.

Hello.

Who are you?

My name is Dory, but don't let me disturb you.

Continue.

You're really quite good, you know.

How much did you hear?

I caught your last speech and the tail end of the love scene.

Gee, I thought Sara and I were --

Oh, Christ.

Don't worry about it.

You really love the theater.

Don't you?

My mistress, Dory,

it is indeed true love which I feel greater than any which ruleth the world.

Why, Chad Collins, you two-timing son of a bitch.

Aren't you going to go after her?

No.

Women.

They take up so much time.

Not all women do.

Some women would give you all the freedom you want.

I'd like to meet that kind.

You would.

Times must be tough. Financially, I mean.

Yes.

No one wants to ask the classics anymore.

Not even on television.

What I could do with a little nest egg.

You'd like to produce?

Would I?

I bet you'd mount a big, big production.

Shakespeare on Broadway.

Corneille, Racine, Aeschylus, Sheridan, Ben Jonson, Joseph Papp move over.

I'd mount the biggest, most lavish productions America has even seen.

No.

The world.

You would.

By jove, indeed.

You'd spare no expense, let's say, on a production of Sophocles.

Nothing could give me greater pleasure.

You, Barbara N. Consuelo, take this man, Charles A.V. Collins,

to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or for worse,

in sickness and in health, il death do you part?

I do.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Remember, this is strictly a business relationship.

Congratulations my dear.

Beautiful ceremony.

If you ask me, it's never going to last.

[Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" plays]

It's all mine now.

All yours.

Congratulations, you are now a very wealthy woman.

[applause]

Here they are, everybody, the bride and the groom.

[applause]

Well, you did it, kid.

You're hitched.

Good luck.

Don't be so glum, Freddie boy.

We are on our way to the top.

Just think, the biggest, most opulent Sophocles ever.

My dear, I have a feeling that marriage will be the best thing

that ever happened to you.

You do?

Well, thanks.

I hope I'll be seeing you from time to time.

I hope so, too.

Who knows?

You might even come back to work.

There'll always be a place for you at the agency.

Oedipus Rex, a rock nudie musical.

Chad, darling.

Isn't it wonderful?

I still don't believe it, Broadway after all these years.

Good luck.

He's a very lucky man.

Jack, don't.

I don't even know what you're doing here.

I loved you once.

Do you love Chad?

Carla, where have you been?

Hey, your grandfather would have been very proud of you.

Yes.

Chad, don't you think you'd be selling out?

My ideas shall remain firm.

Chad's certainly got some grand, hasn't it?

Yes, sometimes I think a bit too grand.

Well, the bigger, the better.

Confidentially, Babe is the richest woman in North America.

This is the way I see it.

We fly in Brando to play Creon, and maybe Jane Fonda for Jocasta.

Well, what about me?

The chorus, darling.

You can do better than that, can't you?

I'm not going to let you go away so easily.

I want you.

Well.

Well, hell, you only get married once.

Don't forget, I can really act.

Oh, yes.

Suck me.

Deep.

Take it all, baby.

[moans]

That's good.

[moans]

That's it.

Nice.

Nice and slow.

Just the way it used to be.

[moans]

Oh, yes.

That's it.

Take it.

[moans]

That's it.

Oh, gosh.

I feel so good.

[moans]

That's it.

[moans]

Oh, Jack.

You feel so good.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

Oh.

[moans]

[upbeat music]

That's it.

Take that pussy.

Oh, fuck me.

You're tight and wet.

Oh, god.

Take that pussy.

[moans]

Oh, baby, take that pussy.

Yes.

Oh, god.

[moans]

Oh, that's it.

[moans]

You sure can act.

Oh, I'm going to cum.

I'm going to cum.

[moans] [laughs]

That feels so good

[moans]

Looks like it wasn't for me.

[moans]

Yes, even better.

Oh, Jack.

Oh.

Oh, Jack.

Take it deep.

Take it hard.

[moans]

Oh, Jack.

Oh, Jack.

So good.

Oh, Jack.

Oh.

Oh, Jack.

Even better.

[moans]

Oh, Jack.

Oh.

Oh, Jack.

Oh.

That's it.

[moans]

[mellow, bluesy music]

Take that pussy.

Oh, fuck me, baby.

[moaning]

I'm cumming.

[moans]

Fuck me. Oh, fuck.

[moaning]

You're so good, oh god.

Feels so good.

Deeper.

That's it, take that pussy.

Oh, yes, so tight.

[moaning]

Oh, I'm going to cum.

More.

[moans]

Oh, yes.

Oh, god.

Oh, don't cum inside me.

Hold on.

Let me see it.

[upbeat music]

[moans]

Oh, so beautiful.

[moaning]

Oh, Jack.

[moans]

Oh, that's so good.

[moans]

Oh, Jack.

Cum all over.

[wistful orchestral music]

For Christ's sake, Roger, will you leave them alone?

It's their wedding night.

Oh, excuse me.

No, I'm sorry, I wasn't looking.

Oh, they're probably wondering what happened to us.

Look, everybody, the bride and groom have returned.

Wedding song, please.

[applause]

Okay, smile for the camera.

Show the derriére.

That is not nice.

That is disgusting.

Forget it.

It will not work.

Mike, can you do something for her?

Touch her up or something.

I'm a makeup man, not da Vinci.

Look sexy, smile.

That's sexy?

Okay, put the hand on the back of the head and the hand behind the back.

The head in the back of there.

Okay, now suck on the cheeks.

I think I'm stuck.

Stuck?

I must have Babe back.

I cannot work with the others.

They are not good, they are... how do you say?

Shit.

Thank you, deary, your check is in the mail.

Yes, thank you.

Well, move or something.

We're at your service, madam.

Yeah, yeah.

For God's sake, sit down. You're making me nervous.

[wistful orchestral music]

No. Well, just this time.

But don't do it again until I finish my glass.

Yes, madam.

My name is Babe.

Ask me how I like being married.

No, madam.

No, madam.

Well, I've got it.

Yes, madam.

Shut up.

Both of you don't talk til I tell you to talk.

Now, that's better.

At least you're learning who's boss.

Now, stand over there and jerk off for me.

Yes, madam.

[moody music]

Look at this, nice, big cocks rising in the air.

Yes, beat that meat.

Slowly.

Now fast.

Faster.

Come on, move.

Move.

Put some spit on your hands and put it on your cock and beat it.

Stroke it up and down.

Wouldn't you just love to stick those cocks inside my pussy,

inside my wet pussy?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, you can't.

Just keep beating your meat.

Keep it up.

Yes, like that.

Come on, stroke those beautiful cocks.

Yes.

I want to see you cum all over yourself.

Hurry up and cum.

I want you to hurry up and cum all over yourself.

Beat it.

Beat it harder.

Stroke it.

Stroke it.

I want to see cum.

I want to see cum all over your body.

Oh, yes.

Look at that beautiful, white cock.

Rub it on your chest.

Take your fingers and rub it through your chest.

Like that.

It's hot, isn't it?

It's hot.

[moaning]

The wife life luxury.

Wow.

I don't care how much they cost,

I want real Trojans.

No, you don't find them in a drugstore, you idiot.

Find out if the shepherd knows his lines, will you?

This way, fellas.

Easy with that.

Hurry up with those props.

Tell you what, take the rock downstage and take the head upstage,

and I don't know, we'll just go from there.

Try it again, honey.

You will cum?

Oedipus, I think I'm worthy to --

Cum, honey, cum.

I couldn't get it right at home.

I couldn't get it right here.

I could never get it right.

Where are my phalluses, Monty?

They should have been here yesterday.

Watch out for the sheep shit.

Somebody get me some paper towels.

What's so funny?

The biggest production in the history of Broadway theater,

$5 million already spent, another 8 million slated.

The new Oedipus must run twelve years to capacity crowds

to recoup its initial cost.

Producer/leading man, Chad Collins, says after his Oedipus is completed,

he plans on putting together similar complex productions of Ben

Johnson's Volpone

and Norton and Sackville's Gorboduc.

What?

Insiders predict the biggest bomb since Hiroshima.

[laughs]

Well, they will be able to enjoy her fortune for a little while.

[laughs]

Good morning, babe.

Sleep well?

Coffee?

[moans]

I think married life agrees with me.

I feel great.

How's your play doing?

Producing isn't easy.

It's not just a cocktail at Sardi's and a night on the town,

it's a real challenge.

Making phone calls, moving people here, there.

Meetings.

You sure do spend an awful lot of time with that silly play.

Silly?

Yes, silly.

You could spend at least one night at home,

if for no other reason than appearance's sake.

You certainly don't seem to miss me.

You've had a slew of callboys in and out of here the last two weeks

that could satisfy the entire female population of Indianapolis.

You're right.

I don't miss you.

I don't miss you one little bit.

Wake up.

Wake up.

Get out of my house.

Goddamn.

Just get out.

Get out!

Get out!

Both of you!

Out!

[door bell ringing]

Oh, shit.

Who is it?

Yes?

You called?

Oh, come in

Nice place.

Real nice.

So are you.

Have a seat.

Would you like to watch some TV?

[Kissing]

[moaning]

Oh, you're so sweet.

Thank you.

Did you ever do this before?

I don't usually make a habit of it, no.

Oh, good.

I just love to have a virgin.

Well, you've got one.

Pretty pussy.

That's right.

Lovely.

How long have we worked together?

Six, seven, eight years, maybe.

Am I right or wrong?

Then speak.

What's happened?

What's going on?

Your agency used to be the best.

Ron, be patient.

With the board of directors spitting fire down my neck,

you want me to be patient?

Jesus H. Christ, I can't afford to be patient.

I've got to find someone else to handle these fights.

Please, Ron, wait 'til next Tuesday.

Next Tuesday, is it?

What then?

The goddamn apocalypse?

Almost the opening of Oedipus?

Well, so what?

Wait 'til next Tuesday.

Be nice to me.

♪ You smile and I respond ♪

♪ We Kiss, the past is gone ♪

♪ Love was born today ♪

♪ And if there is no past ♪

♪ There can be no questions asked ♪

♪ You're the only one I know ♪

JAnd sol

♪ Let me give you, for a start ♪

♪ A yesterday, my heart =

♪ The hands of time will tell ♪

♪ Together, we would learn ♪

♪ That there might come a day ♪

I When we reach the end, we smile ♪

♪ The past is gone again ♪

♪ Love is born that day ♪

♪ Let me give you, for a start ♪

♪ A yesterday, my heart =

Have you seen Chad?

He's in the dressing room upstairs.

I wouldn't go in there.

[upbeat music]

[moaning]

That's good.

Yes, baby.

[Kissing]

Oh, yes.

Oh, I feel so good.

Oh, yes.

[knocking]

Five minutes, Mr. Collins.

Get out of here.

[knocking]

Yes?

Chad.

Babe.

You know something?

I finally figured it out.

I love you.

Good luck, my darling.

[car honking]

[dramatic horn music]

You are versed in all things.

While you have no eyes, in your mind, you see our city is afflicted.

We are in your hands.

Alas, how terrible is wisdom when it brings no profit to the man?

This is why.

What is this?

How sad you are now.

For God's sake,

if you know of anything, do not turn away from us.

All of us kneel to you.

I say that with those you love best,

you live in foulness, shame, unconsciously, and do not see where you are in calamity.

[chanting]

I have a deadly fear that the old seer had eyes.

Oh, Oedipus, unhappy Oedipus.

That is all I can call you and all I shall ever call you.

This is a terrible sight for men to see.

I've never seen a worse -- poor or rich.

What madness has come over you?

What evil spirit --

Amen, as thieves,

behold this Oedipus, who knew the famous riddler and was noblest,

for every no man's fortune or success and lo,

in what a pit of direous woe he now has plunged.

From hence the lesson draw how no man happy 1il you see the closing day

until he passed the board which severs life with death.

What are these newspaper men doing, anyway?

I'm starving.

I couldn't eat a thing.

Yes, neither could I.

Is it hot in here?

Is it just me?

It's you.

Shh, shh, reviews are in.

Guess what?

Guess what?

Well, what do you expect from Clive Barnes, anyway?

Here. Read it yourselves.

My God, it's a fucking hit.

[screams]

Way to go.

[cheering]

Film rights sought for $35 million.

[cheering]

"Chad Collins' Oedipus is the greatest adaptation

from the history of the American community."

[cheering]

On the house.

I love you.

Oh, Chad.

[moaning]

Oh, yes.

Oh, Chad.

Babe?

Yes.

I have to know.

Please, be honest with me.

Do you mind?

No.

My success, my career, it's going to take a lot of work and a lot of time.

Darling, I think that's wonderful.

I'm so proud of you.

Chad, I want to go back to work, too.

Why, honey, that's fine.

I can see it now.

You playing Ophelia to my Hamlet,

we'll be the greatest stage couple since Lunt and Fontanne.

No, Chad.

I'm not an actress.

I'm a model and I want to go back.

Then do it.

We're waiting to give you your checks on the way out.

I want to tell you I'm going to miss you.

It was wonderful working with you.

What's the story?

Story is we're out of business.

I did not ever want to...to have to... but I must go back to Sears Roebuck,

to photograph those itty-bitty brats.

Shit.

What are you going to do, Dory?

I don't know what I'll do.

I'll miss the agency.

It was my life.

Now get out of here.

All of you, scram, before I start crying.

Bye, Dory.

So long.

You rock.

Why?

Hi, there?

I said hi.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Well, sure, it isn't a social call, I'm here to work.

You are a rich woman.

Can't a rich woman work, too?

You mean it?

Dory, what's with you?

[laughter]

Roger, Mikey, Danny, Bob, get your asses in here, we've got work to do.

Beautiful.

Very nice, nice.

Tres bien.

Love it.

[speaking in French]

Oh la la, beautiful.

Growl.

[camera shutter clicks]

Oh, good.

Looks sexy, sexy.

Okay.

[camera shutter clicks]

Nice, nice, nice. Hair's good.

Smile. Good.

Go take the napkin. [camera shutter clicks]

Pose the bodies.

Okay.

I love it. [camera shutter clicks]

Good.

Okay, and nasty.

Look nasty.

Bon, trés bien.

That is it, babe.

Perfect.

♪ You smile and I respond ♪

♪ We Kiss, the past is gone ♪

♪ Love was born today ♪

♪ And if there is no past ♪

♪ There can be no questions asked ♪

♪ You're the only one I know ♪

JAnd sol

♪ Let me give you for a start ♪

♪ A yesterday, my heart =

♪ The hands of time will tell ♪

♪ Together, we would learn ♪

♪ That there might come a day ♪

I When we reach the end, we smile ♪

♪ The past is gone again ♪

♪ Love is born that day ♪