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www.titlovi.com
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ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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The year is 50 B.C.
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All of Gaul is under Roman occupation.
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All of it?
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No!
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One village of indomitable Gauls
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keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
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And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
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in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
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What I love in life
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Is wandering day and night
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In the forest what's really fun
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Is going for a wander with my chum
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It rhymes.
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Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
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Too much meat.
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- Too much meat?
- Sure.
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Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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Supper, too!
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Not to mention ale.
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It can't be good for us.
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What else is there to eat?
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I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
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00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,332
vegetables.
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00:02:07,999 --> 00:02:09,082
Veg...
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00:02:09,082 --> 00:02:10,332
Vegetables?
28
00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:18,082
You make me laugh, Asterix.
29
00:02:19,082 --> 00:02:20,249
Hear him, Dogmatix?
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00:02:20,915 --> 00:02:23,749
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
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00:02:23,749 --> 00:02:24,790
Vegetables!
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You can laugh.
33
00:02:26,915 --> 00:02:30,665
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
34
00:02:30,665 --> 00:02:32,124
Same with the magic potion.
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Could be, it's bad for our systems.
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Where's the data, honestly? Where?
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Above all, do we really need it?
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00:02:42,790 --> 00:02:43,624
You okay?
39
00:02:43,624 --> 00:02:44,624
No, I'm not okay.
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I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
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Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
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You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
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00:03:07,665 --> 00:03:09,290
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
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Ave! Sorry, we're lost.
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00:03:14,499 --> 00:03:16,499
Who knew we're so near the village?
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00:03:16,499 --> 00:03:18,499
Me. I kept telling you.
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- Didn't.
- Did.
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And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!"
49
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"They get up my nose."
50
00:03:24,582 --> 00:03:26,457
"They can shove their menhirs."
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I'm a terrible liar.
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Leave this to me.
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I'll show you I don't need this.
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Strength is here.
55
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And here.
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Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show.
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Hello.
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Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
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You plan to step in?
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00:03:57,374 --> 00:03:58,957
No, not allowed.
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00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,249
Help me, silly!
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Harder!
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00:04:28,582 --> 00:04:29,540
Not fair!
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00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:32,165
Cheat!
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00:04:32,957 --> 00:04:35,915
Not at all. Without it, same result.
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00:04:42,624 --> 00:04:43,999
You don't have to.
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I do.
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{\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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Where is everyone?
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It's hardly fresh.
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00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,790
- And you are?
- What?
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00:05:32,790 --> 00:05:34,165
No, nothing.
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00:05:34,165 --> 00:05:37,415
{\an8}Getafix, he won't let me
smoke my boar in the house.
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00:05:37,415 --> 00:05:40,665
{\an8}Just because
Mr. Asterix has decided to quit
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00:05:40,665 --> 00:05:42,040
doesn't mean I have to.
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Panacea!
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Panacea!
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Morning, girls.
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00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,707
- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
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00:05:52,665 --> 00:05:53,749
Hi, Panacea.
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00:05:53,749 --> 00:05:54,832
Hi, Obelix.
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00:05:57,249 --> 00:05:58,707
I just wanted to say...
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00:06:00,457 --> 00:06:02,957
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
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00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:06,082
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
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See you.
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00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:14,832
She refused it.
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She refused my menhir.
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Obviously. It weighs a ton.
89
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What use is it? Put it on her finger?
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00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:23,040
Getafix, your sickle.
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00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,582
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
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00:06:24,582 --> 00:06:25,665
Slow down.
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00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:29,332
Say...
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00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:36,249
{\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet.
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{\an8}Not everyone else's.
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Getafix, what's wrong?
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I'm sinking.
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00:06:44,457 --> 00:06:45,582
You're sinking?
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00:06:45,582 --> 00:06:47,165
It must be quicksand.
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00:06:47,165 --> 00:06:49,832
There is no quicksand in the region.
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If you ask me, someone needs to know.
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:01,290
{\an8}Excuse me.
105
00:07:02,249 --> 00:07:05,832
{\an8}Some nights, my voice just wants to scream
106
00:07:05,832 --> 00:07:07,582
Shut it, will you!
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{\an8}For once, I had a customer.
108
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:17,624
{\an8}For once, you have fresh fish!
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What? My fish isn't fresh?
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00:07:27,124 --> 00:07:28,165
{\an8}I'll take a look.
111
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{\an8}for Louise and Marcel
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Hold still.
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Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn.
114
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You were hit?
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00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:03,082
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
116
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:04,915
My friends, how are you?
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I come from China to ask for help.
118
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It's nuts!
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Why are you blond?
120
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I was going to say.
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I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been.
122
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Please... No slip-ups.
123
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No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
124
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I'll explain. Come on.
125
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That one...
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The beautiful girl fast asleep
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is a princess.
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Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
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You do know where China is?
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- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
131
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That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay.
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Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
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She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
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A beautiful woman.
135
00:08:56,957 --> 00:09:00,124
A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh!
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Go ahead, laugh.
137
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,040
Share with us your Alpha male experience.
138
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Alpha male, just try to touch her.
139
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- Be my guest.
- All right.
140
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There you go!
141
00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,540
You drank potion?
142
00:09:44,165 --> 00:09:44,999
No.
143
00:09:45,874 --> 00:09:46,999
I don't get it.
144
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I get what's going on.
145
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And you'd better stop right now.
146
00:09:52,207 --> 00:09:55,457
Princess and I are more than friends, see?
147
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- You are?
- We are.
148
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Princess...
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We have arrived.
150
00:10:06,999 --> 00:10:08,082
What is all this?
151
00:10:08,790 --> 00:10:10,832
- It's the chief!
- Run!
152
00:10:11,332 --> 00:10:13,999
Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls.
153
00:10:15,332 --> 00:10:17,624
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
154
00:10:18,374 --> 00:10:21,415
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
155
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Really?
156
00:10:22,707 --> 00:10:25,082
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
157
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,415
- No.
- He's a crook!
158
00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:29,415
He sent me. Let me explain.
159
00:10:29,999 --> 00:10:32,415
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
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daughter of the Empress of China.
161
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,457
Who's she?
162
00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:40,165
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
163
00:10:40,832 --> 00:10:44,457
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
164
00:10:44,457 --> 00:10:45,999
Getafix, is China far?
165
00:10:45,999 --> 00:10:48,999
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
166
00:10:55,624 --> 00:10:58,874
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
167
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and not devoid of emotion,
168
00:11:00,707 --> 00:11:03,874
allow me to give you a potted version.
169
00:11:03,874 --> 00:11:06,665
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
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00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:09,999
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
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00:11:09,999 --> 00:11:11,749
over her nation's six kingdoms.
172
00:11:11,749 --> 00:11:16,624
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes
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who secretly covet her throne.
174
00:11:20,082 --> 00:11:23,707
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
175
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whom you met in the village.
176
00:11:25,624 --> 00:11:27,249
So this is a flashback.
177
00:11:31,707 --> 00:11:33,249
Another vase?
178
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:38,165
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
179
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:42,290
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
180
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:44,457
Sa See, for your security, you know...
181
00:11:44,457 --> 00:11:49,040
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
182
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,499
I want to see Gaul.
183
00:11:50,999 --> 00:11:54,415
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
184
00:11:54,415 --> 00:11:55,499
The answer is no.
185
00:11:57,082 --> 00:11:58,582
Here, open this one.
186
00:12:00,374 --> 00:12:03,540
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
187
00:12:04,165 --> 00:12:05,624
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
188
00:12:06,582 --> 00:12:07,415
Sa See!
189
00:12:14,749 --> 00:12:16,249
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
190
00:12:19,707 --> 00:12:22,415
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
191
00:12:22,415 --> 00:12:24,249
while your people endure famine.
192
00:12:24,249 --> 00:12:26,040
If I may, Your Majesty,
193
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:30,082
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
194
00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,707
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
195
00:12:32,707 --> 00:12:34,040
Who is he?
196
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,999
Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor.
197
00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:39,874
In Rome, he wielded power and influence.
198
00:12:40,374 --> 00:12:43,999
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
199
00:12:44,582 --> 00:12:46,957
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
200
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:48,999
Before I leave,
201
00:12:48,999 --> 00:12:51,790
have you considered my marriage proposal?
202
00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:53,499
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
203
00:12:53,499 --> 00:12:54,624
And?
204
00:12:55,332 --> 00:12:56,582
It made us laugh.
205
00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,207
Make a woman laugh and...
206
00:13:03,290 --> 00:13:04,332
Sorry.
207
00:13:04,915 --> 00:13:07,540
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
208
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:08,915
then so be it.
209
00:13:15,124 --> 00:13:15,957
Ka Ra Tay...
210
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:20,999
My faithful warrior,
211
00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:22,790
fetch my daughter.
212
00:13:46,457 --> 00:13:47,915
This is China.
213
00:13:48,457 --> 00:13:51,707
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
214
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,207
For a Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
215
00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:56,624
Ekonomikrisix!
216
00:13:56,624 --> 00:13:58,707
Get it into your head!
217
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:01,124
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
218
00:14:01,624 --> 00:14:02,999
We are Gauls.
219
00:14:02,999 --> 00:14:03,999
Gotix?
220
00:14:03,999 --> 00:14:05,915
As usual, we make all the efforts.
221
00:14:06,624 --> 00:14:07,499
Only you?
222
00:14:10,707 --> 00:14:12,332
Laugh? You're laughing?
223
00:14:12,332 --> 00:14:14,624
Am I laughing about going blond?
224
00:14:15,290 --> 00:14:17,832
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
225
00:14:17,832 --> 00:14:19,957
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
226
00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:21,957
Put those helmets on! There!
227
00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:23,582
Let's go!
228
00:14:23,582 --> 00:14:24,915
China is ours!
229
00:14:26,582 --> 00:14:27,665
No snooping.
230
00:14:28,249 --> 00:14:29,707
You need help?
231
00:14:29,707 --> 00:14:31,249
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
232
00:14:32,124 --> 00:14:33,457
They're genuine Louboutix?
233
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:35,165
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
234
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,874
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
235
00:14:37,874 --> 00:14:41,749
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
236
00:14:43,457 --> 00:14:46,457
Give my stall some space. Scram!
237
00:14:47,374 --> 00:14:48,540
You nincompoop!
238
00:14:49,374 --> 00:14:50,874
Sorry, Her Majesty.
239
00:14:50,874 --> 00:14:52,499
Sorry for my nephew.
240
00:14:52,499 --> 00:14:55,165
He has his mother's temper.
241
00:14:55,165 --> 00:14:56,665
True, everybody says so.
242
00:14:56,665 --> 00:14:59,665
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
243
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:01,915
I'll take them out of his wages.
244
00:15:01,915 --> 00:15:04,082
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
245
00:15:04,082 --> 00:15:06,165
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
246
00:15:06,790 --> 00:15:08,624
No one shakes hands here.
247
00:15:08,624 --> 00:15:10,290
- No one.
- Not one.
248
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,290
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
249
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:14,999
Gorgeous.
250
00:15:17,415 --> 00:15:19,040
Bankruptix, the nephew.
251
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,332
I have my mother's temper.
252
00:15:21,332 --> 00:15:22,415
As well as...
253
00:15:23,165 --> 00:15:24,165
her eyes.
254
00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,665
I envy you your blond hair.
255
00:15:29,332 --> 00:15:32,582
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
256
00:15:32,582 --> 00:15:34,332
Nature decided for me.
257
00:15:34,332 --> 00:15:36,249
Your Imperial Majesty,
258
00:15:36,249 --> 00:15:41,707
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
259
00:15:41,707 --> 00:15:42,999
the honour's all ours.
260
00:15:44,124 --> 00:15:45,124
Come in.
261
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:47,332
A great vintage.
262
00:15:47,332 --> 00:15:50,499
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
263
00:15:51,999 --> 00:15:53,665
On the nose, fruity notes.
264
00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:55,290
There's sunshine.
265
00:15:56,249 --> 00:15:57,707
There's pine and shade.
266
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,915
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
267
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:01,124
Bananas.
268
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,790
And dates.
269
00:16:02,790 --> 00:16:05,915
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
270
00:16:10,207 --> 00:16:11,540
I want Gaul of it
271
00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:22,165
I'll take the lot.
272
00:16:25,582 --> 00:16:26,832
Perfumes from Gaul?
273
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:28,749
But of course, Princess.
274
00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:30,749
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
275
00:16:30,749 --> 00:16:32,290
Like me and my sales team.
276
00:16:33,624 --> 00:16:35,374
This is the latest creation
277
00:16:35,374 --> 00:16:38,290
that every Gaul lady
would die for. Amphor.
278
00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:39,832
Amphor?
279
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:41,415
I adore!
280
00:16:41,415 --> 00:16:42,749
I adore, too.
281
00:16:42,749 --> 00:16:44,165
Archers! Loose!
282
00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:45,207
Watch out!
283
00:16:53,165 --> 00:16:54,582
Sa See, are you hurt?
284
00:16:54,582 --> 00:16:55,999
No, mother, I'm fine.
285
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:56,915
Anything broken?
286
00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:58,707
No, I'm fine.
287
00:16:58,707 --> 00:17:00,082
I meant the stock.
288
00:17:00,082 --> 00:17:01,165
Nice.
289
00:17:01,165 --> 00:17:02,582
Hey, Empress!
290
00:17:02,582 --> 00:17:03,915
Come out, hands up!
291
00:17:03,915 --> 00:17:06,124
And no one will get hurt.
292
00:17:06,665 --> 00:17:07,749
You're encircled.
293
00:17:07,749 --> 00:17:09,082
And slanted!
294
00:17:11,332 --> 00:17:14,124
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
295
00:17:14,124 --> 00:17:15,582
And I added "And..."
296
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:21,040
There's another exit?
297
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,707
Yes. My secret passage.
298
00:17:22,707 --> 00:17:24,665
In case customs raid...
299
00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:26,415
I mean, in case of fire.
300
00:17:26,415 --> 00:17:28,124
It's the fire escape.
301
00:17:28,999 --> 00:17:31,249
Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go.
302
00:17:31,249 --> 00:17:33,040
No, Mother. Flee with us.
303
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,165
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
304
00:17:35,165 --> 00:17:36,790
The traitor wants you.
305
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,124
Let's go.
306
00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:41,290
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
307
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:44,499
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
308
00:17:44,499 --> 00:17:45,957
Like a ship's captain.
309
00:17:47,915 --> 00:17:49,290
Go home and fetch the others.
310
00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,665
What? Uncle Mahmood?
311
00:17:50,665 --> 00:17:52,499
No! Our other home.
312
00:17:52,499 --> 00:17:53,874
- That home?
- That home!
313
00:17:53,874 --> 00:17:54,915
It's miles away!
314
00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:56,040
So get going!
315
00:17:57,165 --> 00:17:58,124
No, wait!
316
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,499
Take good care of the princess.
317
00:18:00,499 --> 00:18:02,040
We are not losing this sale.
318
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,540
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
319
00:18:13,124 --> 00:18:14,499
I'll work it out later.
320
00:18:14,499 --> 00:18:15,707
Take care, Unc!
321
00:18:20,749 --> 00:18:22,874
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
322
00:18:22,874 --> 00:18:23,957
Leave this to me.
323
00:18:24,915 --> 00:18:27,165
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
324
00:18:32,665 --> 00:18:34,540
I went in there and...
325
00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:36,874
What happened?
326
00:18:36,874 --> 00:18:38,665
You got kicked in the head.
327
00:18:39,332 --> 00:18:41,082
All right, I get it now.
328
00:18:41,082 --> 00:18:43,207
So who's laughing now, Empress?
329
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:45,415
Excuse me a second, who are you?
330
00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,707
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
331
00:18:49,749 --> 00:18:51,749
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
332
00:18:51,749 --> 00:18:54,207
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
333
00:18:54,707 --> 00:18:56,665
A shifty little fish!
334
00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:58,874
Scour the kingdom!
335
00:18:58,874 --> 00:19:00,415
Offer a handsome reward!
336
00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:03,665
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
337
00:19:06,249 --> 00:19:07,499
I know my daughter.
338
00:19:07,999 --> 00:19:09,415
She'll come for revenge.
339
00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:12,665
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
340
00:19:12,665 --> 00:19:14,832
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
341
00:19:14,832 --> 00:19:18,832
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
342
00:19:18,832 --> 00:19:20,832
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
343
00:19:20,832 --> 00:19:23,832
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
344
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:26,624
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
345
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:27,999
What?
346
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:31,249
It's tricky.
The other four kingdoms' princes hate you.
347
00:19:31,249 --> 00:19:33,749
They claim you're not Emperor material.
348
00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:37,040
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
349
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,707
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
350
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:41,624
A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them.
351
00:19:41,624 --> 00:19:43,499
In combat, it's hopeless.
352
00:19:43,499 --> 00:19:46,249
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
353
00:19:46,249 --> 00:19:47,499
Naturally.
354
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:49,707
My idea...
355
00:19:51,665 --> 00:19:53,457
Take them away! Let's go!
356
00:19:53,457 --> 00:19:54,749
Take it easy!
357
00:19:54,749 --> 00:19:57,540
Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares.
358
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:59,540
China is ours!
359
00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:32,999
Princess, it'll be fine.
360
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,124
I'm here for you.
361
00:20:35,290 --> 00:20:36,374
I'm here.
362
00:20:38,374 --> 00:20:39,915
Don't worry. We'll help you.
363
00:20:39,915 --> 00:20:43,624
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
364
00:20:43,624 --> 00:20:44,540
No!
365
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,124
Not a chance.
366
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,957
Was it just me or did her story drag on?
367
00:20:52,332 --> 00:20:56,415
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
368
00:20:57,082 --> 00:20:58,415
Vitalstatistix,
369
00:20:58,415 --> 00:20:59,790
it's a tradition
370
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:01,915
for us to help those in need.
371
00:21:02,499 --> 00:21:04,582
Not forgetting Bankrup...
372
00:21:05,290 --> 00:21:06,207
Tis.
373
00:21:06,207 --> 00:21:07,582
Bankruptix.
374
00:21:08,124 --> 00:21:09,540
The answer's no. There!
375
00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:11,082
It's often been yes.
376
00:21:11,082 --> 00:21:11,999
But it's no.
377
00:21:12,665 --> 00:21:14,082
I'm not feeling it.
378
00:21:14,082 --> 00:21:15,582
China's unknown to us.
379
00:21:15,582 --> 00:21:17,332
We don't know where it is.
380
00:21:17,332 --> 00:21:18,290
Sure we do.
381
00:21:18,290 --> 00:21:19,374
Even I know.
382
00:21:19,874 --> 00:21:22,540
It's the way where the sun rises.
383
00:21:23,290 --> 00:21:24,540
Stumped him.
384
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,749
I don't know and I decide.
385
00:21:26,749 --> 00:21:28,832
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
386
00:21:28,832 --> 00:21:31,332
I depart to save my mother and country.
387
00:21:31,332 --> 00:21:32,665
Princess!
388
00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:36,582
I'm up for it.
389
00:21:37,124 --> 00:21:39,874
And anyway, I'm free right now.
390
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,332
I'm free too.
391
00:21:42,332 --> 00:21:44,124
I want to go too.
392
00:21:44,124 --> 00:21:46,290
You two! Who's in the chair?
393
00:21:47,582 --> 00:21:48,957
You're chief now?
394
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:51,415
Discussion over. It's no.
395
00:21:51,415 --> 00:21:53,415
Are you out of your mind?
396
00:21:54,124 --> 00:21:55,707
Some village chief!
397
00:21:56,207 --> 00:21:58,082
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
398
00:21:58,082 --> 00:22:00,082
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
399
00:22:00,082 --> 00:22:02,957
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
400
00:22:03,540 --> 00:22:04,582
You and your Gaul!
401
00:22:05,332 --> 00:22:06,874
All because it's too far?
402
00:22:06,874 --> 00:22:08,707
As if you'd be going!
403
00:22:10,082 --> 00:22:12,499
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
404
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,457
If some idiot writes our history one day,
405
00:22:16,457 --> 00:22:19,915
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
406
00:22:19,915 --> 00:22:21,665
Dogmatix travels more than you.
407
00:22:22,499 --> 00:22:23,624
Hear that, Dogmatix?
408
00:22:26,415 --> 00:22:27,624
Stones fired!
409
00:22:27,624 --> 00:22:31,040
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
410
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,499
But anything more delicate, you're out?
411
00:22:42,707 --> 00:22:43,707
All right, go.
412
00:22:46,790 --> 00:22:48,540
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
413
00:22:49,332 --> 00:22:52,832
So you're starting on a journey
414
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:55,915
So we're parting tonight
415
00:22:57,957 --> 00:22:59,249
My heart has turned to...
416
00:22:59,249 --> 00:23:00,290
jelly
417
00:23:08,915 --> 00:23:12,874
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
418
00:23:12,874 --> 00:23:15,999
Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace,
419
00:23:15,999 --> 00:23:19,457
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
420
00:23:19,457 --> 00:23:22,082
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
421
00:23:22,082 --> 00:23:23,749
I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:23,749 --> 00:23:26,624
Know what? I've had it up to here!
423
00:23:31,915 --> 00:23:33,374
May I ask what you're doing?
424
00:23:33,374 --> 00:23:35,915
Packing my trunks and heading home.
425
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,624
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
426
00:23:39,124 --> 00:23:41,957
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
427
00:23:41,957 --> 00:23:43,415
What do you mean?
428
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,499
You can't be serious.
429
00:23:47,832 --> 00:23:49,915
What do you mean, another man?
430
00:23:50,582 --> 00:23:53,290
What is this? Infidelitatis?
431
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:54,249
Nailed it.
432
00:23:56,374 --> 00:23:57,290
And...
433
00:23:58,832 --> 00:24:01,707
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
434
00:24:03,082 --> 00:24:04,290
Tabascos!
435
00:24:05,624 --> 00:24:06,457
Tabascos?
436
00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:07,582
The Greek?
437
00:24:11,207 --> 00:24:13,290
Tabascos the Greek!
438
00:24:13,290 --> 00:24:16,249
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
439
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:19,790
to shack up with a gym teacher?
440
00:24:21,415 --> 00:24:24,207
Well, we'll discuss this after the lions.
441
00:24:25,207 --> 00:24:27,165
I forbid you to harm him.
442
00:24:28,207 --> 00:24:29,790
I love him, you hear?
443
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:31,499
You love him?
444
00:24:32,915 --> 00:24:34,124
You love him?
445
00:24:35,665 --> 00:24:36,957
What's he got that I don't?
446
00:24:36,957 --> 00:24:39,290
He's an international gymnast.
447
00:24:39,290 --> 00:24:41,874
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
448
00:24:43,999 --> 00:24:46,082
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
449
00:24:46,707 --> 00:24:50,499
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
450
00:24:50,499 --> 00:24:53,165
{\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
451
00:24:54,874 --> 00:24:56,707
May I, O Caesar?
452
00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:59,457
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
453
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:04,249
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
454
00:25:04,249 --> 00:25:05,165
Ave, Caesar!
455
00:25:05,165 --> 00:25:07,957
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
456
00:25:16,249 --> 00:25:18,124
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat,
457
00:25:18,124 --> 00:25:22,582
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
458
00:25:22,582 --> 00:25:26,249
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
459
00:25:26,832 --> 00:25:29,540
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
460
00:25:29,540 --> 00:25:31,290
Some men have neither.
461
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:35,707
She's a looker.
462
00:25:36,207 --> 00:25:37,082
Well, half-pint?
463
00:25:37,082 --> 00:25:41,124
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
464
00:25:41,124 --> 00:25:43,624
in return for modest military support.
465
00:25:43,624 --> 00:25:47,249
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
466
00:25:47,249 --> 00:25:51,332
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
467
00:25:51,332 --> 00:25:53,540
I have conquered enough.
468
00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:56,915
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
469
00:25:56,915 --> 00:25:59,624
I love when you say that. Love it!
470
00:25:59,624 --> 00:26:01,957
What a way with words. Right?
471
00:26:01,957 --> 00:26:04,082
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
472
00:26:04,082 --> 00:26:08,207
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
473
00:26:08,207 --> 00:26:09,707
Vade retro, both of you.
474
00:26:09,707 --> 00:26:11,332
Caesar, may I point out,
475
00:26:11,332 --> 00:26:13,124
in terms of going down in history,
476
00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:15,707
in China, you are unknown.
477
00:26:15,707 --> 00:26:17,290
What was I saying?
478
00:26:18,665 --> 00:26:20,540
That's quite enough!
479
00:26:21,957 --> 00:26:24,457
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
480
00:26:24,457 --> 00:26:25,832
Unknown?
481
00:26:25,832 --> 00:26:26,915
Alas!
482
00:26:38,749 --> 00:26:40,290
He speaks the truth.
483
00:26:40,290 --> 00:26:41,540
In China, at least.
484
00:26:41,540 --> 00:26:43,957
It's all good, don't worry.
485
00:26:44,457 --> 00:26:47,999
Scar Dee Kat, step forward
to discuss our alliance
486
00:26:48,499 --> 00:26:49,540
with your land
487
00:26:49,540 --> 00:26:51,832
that will soon know my name!
488
00:26:54,165 --> 00:26:57,665
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
489
00:27:01,957 --> 00:27:04,499
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
490
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:07,790
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
491
00:27:08,374 --> 00:27:09,707
I added boar stomachs.
492
00:27:10,915 --> 00:27:13,415
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
493
00:27:14,499 --> 00:27:15,624
The sunroof!
494
00:27:16,915 --> 00:27:18,082
You know what?
495
00:27:18,082 --> 00:27:19,540
I made a perfect chariot.
496
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:20,957
Magnificent.
497
00:27:25,415 --> 00:27:26,290
Let's go!
498
00:27:27,915 --> 00:27:29,957
Princess, if you'd care to board.
499
00:27:34,207 --> 00:27:35,040
Too bad.
500
00:27:36,957 --> 00:27:38,290
We'll have a great trip.
501
00:27:40,124 --> 00:27:43,540
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
502
00:27:43,540 --> 00:27:46,874
but Obelix tells me
you don't need it, so I...
503
00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:48,749
No, that's fine.
504
00:27:51,624 --> 00:27:52,790
But just in case.
505
00:27:54,374 --> 00:27:55,707
I'm cutting down.
506
00:27:55,707 --> 00:27:58,124
Watch out, I beefed it up.
507
00:28:04,290 --> 00:28:05,374
You had some?
508
00:28:06,624 --> 00:28:08,290
No, just a quick taste.
509
00:28:08,290 --> 00:28:09,665
Just to see.
510
00:28:12,374 --> 00:28:13,624
Good luck, Princess.
511
00:28:14,374 --> 00:28:15,249
As for you two,
512
00:28:15,749 --> 00:28:17,665
be brave, reckless
513
00:28:17,665 --> 00:28:20,165
and disingenuous. In a word...
514
00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:21,665
Be Gauls!
515
00:28:23,790 --> 00:28:24,832
Hold on tight.
516
00:28:25,332 --> 00:28:28,165
It'll be much faster than on the way here.
517
00:28:30,874 --> 00:28:33,290
Sorry but can I just point out,
518
00:28:33,957 --> 00:28:37,874
the bard's role is
to celebrate heroes and their exploits?
519
00:28:39,332 --> 00:28:41,582
If I never travel, what am I?
520
00:28:43,082 --> 00:28:43,999
Excellent idea.
521
00:28:44,915 --> 00:28:46,457
Cacophonix will go with...
522
00:28:51,499 --> 00:28:53,040
They forgot me.
523
00:28:53,874 --> 00:28:56,832
They forgot me!
524
00:29:02,415 --> 00:29:05,749
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
525
00:29:05,749 --> 00:29:09,332
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
526
00:29:09,332 --> 00:29:11,332
is faster than the Silk Road.
527
00:29:12,082 --> 00:29:14,790
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
528
00:29:14,790 --> 00:29:16,165
thanks to Obelix,
529
00:29:16,165 --> 00:29:18,374
they reach northern Africa.
530
00:29:24,957 --> 00:29:26,457
Rub and wring.
531
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:28,915
Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu.
532
00:29:31,790 --> 00:29:32,915
Rub...
533
00:29:33,957 --> 00:29:35,124
and wring.
534
00:29:42,082 --> 00:29:43,290
No, not again.
535
00:29:44,874 --> 00:29:46,790
All good? Enjoying the show?
536
00:29:46,790 --> 00:29:49,582
Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up.
537
00:29:50,707 --> 00:29:53,332
Not coming up! What are you doing?
538
00:29:53,332 --> 00:29:54,457
Same as you.
539
00:29:54,457 --> 00:29:56,290
She knows you peep?
540
00:29:56,290 --> 00:29:57,665
I might tell her.
541
00:30:01,374 --> 00:30:02,207
Sublime!
542
00:30:03,124 --> 00:30:04,915
She's learning to do laundry
543
00:30:04,915 --> 00:30:08,457
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
544
00:30:09,457 --> 00:30:12,207
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
545
00:30:12,207 --> 00:30:13,290
Don't make me laugh.
546
00:30:13,790 --> 00:30:16,874
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn Deaf?
547
00:30:16,874 --> 00:30:20,207
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
548
00:30:20,207 --> 00:30:21,290
Really?
549
00:30:21,915 --> 00:30:23,165
No way!
550
00:30:23,165 --> 00:30:25,082
My friends, once and for all,
551
00:30:25,082 --> 00:30:28,124
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
552
00:30:29,374 --> 00:30:31,457
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
553
00:30:31,457 --> 00:30:33,290
I love weddings. Love them.
554
00:30:33,290 --> 00:30:35,207
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
555
00:30:35,207 --> 00:30:37,499
Know what? You'll be my best man.
556
00:30:38,499 --> 00:30:40,624
Thank you. I was never anyone's best man.
557
00:30:40,624 --> 00:30:43,624
Can you stop being so gullible?
558
00:30:43,624 --> 00:30:44,915
It gets annoying.
559
00:30:44,915 --> 00:30:47,540
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
560
00:30:47,540 --> 00:30:49,082
They're not in love.
561
00:30:49,082 --> 00:30:51,624
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
562
00:30:51,624 --> 00:30:52,832
It's on.
563
00:30:52,832 --> 00:30:56,082
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her
564
00:30:56,832 --> 00:30:59,040
you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
565
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:03,457
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
566
00:31:03,457 --> 00:31:04,957
What about it?
567
00:31:04,957 --> 00:31:06,207
Your moustache...
568
00:31:07,374 --> 00:31:08,415
sucks.
569
00:31:11,665 --> 00:31:12,582
So lame.
570
00:31:15,415 --> 00:31:16,332
I went too far.
571
00:31:16,332 --> 00:31:17,582
Not the moustache!
572
00:31:17,582 --> 00:31:19,165
I know, but he pushes me.
573
00:31:19,165 --> 00:31:21,040
Sure but not the moustache!
574
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:22,957
What's he doing?
575
00:31:23,707 --> 00:31:25,957
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
576
00:31:25,957 --> 00:31:28,082
He's something else, your friend!
577
00:31:28,082 --> 00:31:29,124
She's coming our way.
578
00:31:31,874 --> 00:31:32,749
What's up?
579
00:31:32,749 --> 00:31:36,124
Nothing. We're just looking for a date.
580
00:31:37,165 --> 00:31:38,374
For the wedding.
581
00:31:38,374 --> 00:31:40,165
No, to eat. The fruit!
582
00:31:40,165 --> 00:31:41,207
At the wedding.
583
00:31:41,207 --> 00:31:42,582
No, to eat here.
584
00:31:42,582 --> 00:31:43,665
I'm the best man!
585
00:31:44,249 --> 00:31:46,832
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
586
00:31:48,249 --> 00:31:49,374
Yes, let's go.
587
00:31:51,540 --> 00:31:53,540
Is it so hard to let me do the talking?
588
00:31:59,749 --> 00:32:01,249
'Night, Smartypants!
589
00:32:02,790 --> 00:32:04,374
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
590
00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,165
'Night, Veggie Lover!
591
00:32:07,749 --> 00:32:10,415
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
592
00:32:10,415 --> 00:32:12,124
'Night, Fake Blonde!
593
00:32:12,124 --> 00:32:14,624
Can't you just say goodnight?
594
00:32:15,665 --> 00:32:16,707
It was him.
595
00:32:16,707 --> 00:32:18,040
'Night, Ka Ra Tay.
596
00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:26,415
You think Mother's still alive?
597
00:32:26,415 --> 00:32:29,874
The Empress is
the daughter of the heavens.
598
00:32:30,374 --> 00:32:31,582
No harm can come to her.
599
00:32:35,415 --> 00:32:37,790
'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it!
600
00:32:37,790 --> 00:32:41,582
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
601
00:32:41,582 --> 00:32:45,374
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
602
00:32:45,874 --> 00:32:47,540
- Enough!
- Yes.
603
00:32:47,540 --> 00:32:48,540
Sorry.
604
00:33:08,832 --> 00:33:11,374
Hello, how are you?
605
00:33:11,374 --> 00:33:12,749
Good trip?
606
00:33:28,582 --> 00:33:31,665
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
607
00:33:31,665 --> 00:33:34,290
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
608
00:33:34,290 --> 00:33:37,749
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
609
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:42,165
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
610
00:33:42,165 --> 00:33:43,249
You too, merchant.
611
00:33:43,832 --> 00:33:46,540
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
612
00:33:46,540 --> 00:33:47,957
Balls for you!
613
00:33:52,915 --> 00:33:53,957
Day one.
614
00:33:54,582 --> 00:33:57,749
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
615
00:33:59,415 --> 00:34:00,249
you two...
616
00:34:03,124 --> 00:34:04,290
We have two lives.
617
00:34:04,290 --> 00:34:07,374
The second begins
when we see we have only one.
618
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:09,999
I thank you.
619
00:34:13,832 --> 00:34:15,749
That's what I call an Empress.
620
00:34:16,332 --> 00:34:17,207
Love it.
621
00:34:17,207 --> 00:34:19,957
We have two lives and it ends when...
622
00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:22,207
The second life begins with...
623
00:34:23,790 --> 00:34:26,624
We have two lives and when they begin...
624
00:34:27,457 --> 00:34:28,457
I thank you.
625
00:34:35,249 --> 00:34:36,207
Meanwhile,
626
00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:39,207
Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat
627
00:34:39,207 --> 00:34:42,874
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
628
00:34:42,874 --> 00:34:44,040
Or almost.
629
00:34:45,624 --> 00:34:46,832
This is the Silk Road?
630
00:34:46,832 --> 00:34:49,249
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
631
00:34:49,915 --> 00:34:51,957
Woopsus, what is this route?
632
00:34:51,957 --> 00:34:54,749
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
633
00:34:54,749 --> 00:34:56,415
I can't work like this.
634
00:34:56,415 --> 00:34:57,915
It's just impossible!
635
00:34:58,707 --> 00:35:00,540
Join the army, they said!
636
00:35:04,707 --> 00:35:06,915
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
637
00:35:06,915 --> 00:35:08,999
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
638
00:35:08,999 --> 00:35:10,249
So we'll go right.
639
00:35:10,790 --> 00:35:13,832
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
640
00:35:13,832 --> 00:35:16,540
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
641
00:35:16,540 --> 00:35:17,999
The upstart!
642
00:35:17,999 --> 00:35:19,790
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
643
00:35:20,499 --> 00:35:22,249
Risklus, imperial security.
644
00:35:24,124 --> 00:35:27,915
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
645
00:35:27,915 --> 00:35:30,124
Still on the campaign in Milan.
646
00:35:30,124 --> 00:35:32,082
He's not reading my pigeons.
647
00:35:33,749 --> 00:35:34,999
Caesar, I'm here.
648
00:35:35,957 --> 00:35:38,749
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
649
00:35:38,749 --> 00:35:39,999
What do you want?
650
00:35:40,540 --> 00:35:44,082
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
651
00:35:44,082 --> 00:35:46,915
She has demands. For respect or something.
652
00:35:46,915 --> 00:35:47,874
I beat her?
653
00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:49,499
Are you nuts?
654
00:35:50,207 --> 00:35:51,249
Show her in.
655
00:35:54,665 --> 00:35:55,499
Tapioca!
656
00:36:01,999 --> 00:36:04,124
So, Carioca, what do you want?
657
00:36:04,124 --> 00:36:08,082
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
658
00:36:08,082 --> 00:36:10,249
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
659
00:36:11,749 --> 00:36:14,999
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
660
00:36:15,582 --> 00:36:17,040
I'm sure I have no idea.
661
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,707
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
662
00:36:19,707 --> 00:36:21,582
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
663
00:36:21,582 --> 00:36:22,665
Right...
664
00:36:23,707 --> 00:36:26,999
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
665
00:36:26,999 --> 00:36:28,082
It's a start.
666
00:36:28,082 --> 00:36:32,374
And let's talk about
the role of women in Roman society.
667
00:36:32,374 --> 00:36:35,540
Look closely and it's all about men here.
668
00:36:35,540 --> 00:36:37,290
Gladiators? Men.
669
00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:38,790
Senators? Men only.
670
00:36:38,790 --> 00:36:40,415
Legionaries? Men only.
671
00:36:40,415 --> 00:36:42,040
Caesars? Men only.
672
00:36:42,540 --> 00:36:43,832
You want a Julia Caesar?
673
00:36:47,999 --> 00:36:49,749
You want Rome run by a woman?
674
00:36:52,165 --> 00:36:53,040
I see.
675
00:37:01,499 --> 00:37:03,249
Back to our friends.
676
00:37:03,249 --> 00:37:08,332
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
677
00:37:08,332 --> 00:37:12,207
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
678
00:37:12,207 --> 00:37:16,249
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
679
00:37:16,249 --> 00:37:17,582
Yes, like the canal.
680
00:37:23,707 --> 00:37:27,374
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
681
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:30,874
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
682
00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:37,415
Dare to come and cast the first stone
683
00:37:40,624 --> 00:37:43,165
To fall for one head over heels
684
00:37:43,165 --> 00:37:45,082
leaves a wound that never heals
685
00:37:45,082 --> 00:37:49,290
But the love you feel is the real deal
686
00:37:52,415 --> 00:37:55,040
So don't be harsh or disapprove
687
00:37:55,707 --> 00:37:58,540
When a woman falls in love
688
00:38:00,499 --> 00:38:02,874
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
689
00:38:02,874 --> 00:38:05,582
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
690
00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,665
See? That's Gaul for you!
691
00:38:13,665 --> 00:38:15,165
I love this place.
692
00:38:15,165 --> 00:38:17,624
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
693
00:38:19,582 --> 00:38:20,582
Same here.
694
00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:27,957
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
695
00:38:27,957 --> 00:38:30,249
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
696
00:38:30,249 --> 00:38:33,124
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
697
00:38:33,124 --> 00:38:35,249
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
698
00:38:35,249 --> 00:38:39,165
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
699
00:38:39,165 --> 00:38:41,582
a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy.
700
00:38:41,582 --> 00:38:43,540
And to clean me out!
701
00:38:44,374 --> 00:38:46,915
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
702
00:38:46,915 --> 00:38:49,374
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
703
00:38:50,207 --> 00:38:51,999
What brings you blondies here?
704
00:38:51,999 --> 00:38:54,374
Looking for the best ship's captain.
705
00:38:55,415 --> 00:38:56,624
He's your man. Titanix!
706
00:38:58,707 --> 00:38:59,582
He's reliable?
707
00:39:00,082 --> 00:39:02,874
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
708
00:39:03,999 --> 00:39:05,082
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
709
00:39:05,082 --> 00:39:06,540
Anything for a Gaul!
710
00:39:07,540 --> 00:39:09,207
Normally, mutts stay outside.
711
00:39:09,207 --> 00:39:10,832
But you're a real cutie.
712
00:39:17,290 --> 00:39:19,665
We're looking for a boat to China.
713
00:39:19,665 --> 00:39:22,499
China by sea? Too much hassle.
714
00:39:23,332 --> 00:39:24,832
Here's what I got for you.
715
00:39:24,832 --> 00:39:26,707
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
716
00:39:26,707 --> 00:39:29,874
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
717
00:39:31,165 --> 00:39:31,999
Tasty.
718
00:39:33,582 --> 00:39:35,040
Another time.
719
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:37,249
This is worth more than your boat.
720
00:39:38,207 --> 00:39:39,790
Why didn't you say so?
721
00:39:40,374 --> 00:39:41,415
So how's it...
722
00:39:41,415 --> 00:39:44,457
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
723
00:39:44,457 --> 00:39:46,915
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
724
00:39:46,915 --> 00:39:49,624
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
725
00:39:49,624 --> 00:39:50,874
A problem, Tipsy?
726
00:39:50,874 --> 00:39:53,457
These gents want to dip into my pockets.
727
00:39:53,457 --> 00:39:57,415
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
728
00:39:58,749 --> 00:40:01,040
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
729
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:02,707
What do you want with the lady?
730
00:40:04,332 --> 00:40:05,249
You're the lightweight.
731
00:40:10,665 --> 00:40:11,665
Screwy.
732
00:40:11,665 --> 00:40:12,957
Princess, in Gaul,
733
00:40:12,957 --> 00:40:15,665
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
734
00:40:16,540 --> 00:40:19,040
flyweights don't listen.
735
00:40:46,624 --> 00:40:47,624
He's a lizard!
736
00:40:55,790 --> 00:40:56,624
What is this?
737
00:41:07,915 --> 00:41:10,790
A very, very strong batch. He overdid it.
738
00:41:11,707 --> 00:41:13,665
Give me a drop. No one will know.
739
00:41:13,665 --> 00:41:14,790
No chance.
740
00:41:18,707 --> 00:41:20,374
One's yours. Take your pick.
741
00:41:20,957 --> 00:41:22,332
The big guy, I guess.
742
00:41:25,415 --> 00:41:26,499
Gentlemen...
743
00:41:35,915 --> 00:41:39,415
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
744
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:41,207
So it will hurt less.
745
00:42:00,290 --> 00:42:03,499
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
746
00:42:03,499 --> 00:42:05,624
containing a drop of magic potion.
747
00:42:05,624 --> 00:42:07,540
A kind of pick-me-up.
748
00:42:07,540 --> 00:42:10,332
We market it as an invigorating drink...
749
00:42:10,332 --> 00:42:12,749
I'll come up with a name for it.
750
00:42:13,249 --> 00:42:17,832
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
751
00:42:17,832 --> 00:42:19,124
we'll make a killing.
752
00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:21,957
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
753
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,082
What's that?
754
00:42:24,665 --> 00:42:25,874
It's tai chi.
755
00:42:25,874 --> 00:42:28,832
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
756
00:42:29,832 --> 00:42:31,790
It's crazy, us meeting now.
757
00:42:31,790 --> 00:42:35,165
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
758
00:42:35,790 --> 00:42:38,707
Balance, nutrition, energies, everything!
759
00:42:39,665 --> 00:42:41,207
The two of us are so connected.
760
00:42:47,124 --> 00:42:48,874
- Done?
- Meditation.
761
00:42:48,874 --> 00:42:50,665
- Great!
- No talking!
762
00:42:56,874 --> 00:42:58,165
It's a fine coin.
763
00:43:00,915 --> 00:43:01,915
That's you?
764
00:43:02,582 --> 00:43:05,124
Yes. A gift from my mother.
765
00:43:06,290 --> 00:43:07,332
That's real love.
766
00:43:10,707 --> 00:43:11,999
When I received it,
767
00:43:12,915 --> 00:43:13,832
I didn't smile.
768
00:43:14,957 --> 00:43:16,415
Don't worry, Princess.
769
00:43:16,915 --> 00:43:18,624
I'll rescue your mother.
770
00:43:19,707 --> 00:43:20,582
I'm here for you.
771
00:43:21,790 --> 00:43:23,374
Quick correction, sorry.
772
00:43:23,374 --> 00:43:24,957
We are here for you.
773
00:43:24,957 --> 00:43:28,582
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
774
00:43:29,582 --> 00:43:30,915
Excuse me.
775
00:43:30,915 --> 00:43:32,290
Princess...
776
00:43:38,082 --> 00:43:39,207
What are you doing?
777
00:43:39,207 --> 00:43:40,999
That was two balls!
778
00:43:40,999 --> 00:43:42,832
Put one back. That was two balls!
779
00:43:42,832 --> 00:43:45,540
Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls.
780
00:43:45,540 --> 00:43:47,165
It's extra jailtime for me.
781
00:43:48,707 --> 00:43:50,790
By the way, did you think over
782
00:43:52,165 --> 00:43:53,040
my offer?
783
00:43:55,999 --> 00:43:57,540
Playing hard to get.
784
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,915
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
785
00:44:00,915 --> 00:44:02,707
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
786
00:44:02,707 --> 00:44:04,457
If we get out one day,
787
00:44:04,957 --> 00:44:07,332
would you like to keep trading in China?
788
00:44:07,832 --> 00:44:09,832
- Sure.
- So shut up.
789
00:44:11,749 --> 00:44:13,957
They put us together to torture me.
790
00:44:14,624 --> 00:44:15,874
Let's not exaggerate.
791
00:44:17,082 --> 00:44:18,415
Perhaps it's...
792
00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:20,707
destiny bringing us together.
793
00:44:21,207 --> 00:44:22,957
Maktub, as they say back home.
794
00:44:24,207 --> 00:44:26,624
You're very beautiful in a temper.
795
00:44:45,499 --> 00:44:46,332
Gents!
796
00:44:46,332 --> 00:44:49,165
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
797
00:44:49,165 --> 00:44:51,665
Who are the predators here?
798
00:44:51,665 --> 00:44:53,415
- We are!
- Bang on!
799
00:44:54,957 --> 00:44:57,207
Ship ahoy!
800
00:44:58,332 --> 00:44:59,415
Thanks, lookout!
801
00:44:59,415 --> 00:45:00,540
Just doing my job!
802
00:45:00,540 --> 00:45:03,499
No lavish ship will escape us.
803
00:45:03,499 --> 00:45:04,832
We sleep tonight in silk!
804
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:20,874
The Gauls?
805
00:45:20,874 --> 00:45:23,290
It's the Gauls!
806
00:45:25,999 --> 00:45:27,165
Peek-a-boo!
807
00:45:27,665 --> 00:45:28,582
Hi, guys!
808
00:45:33,374 --> 00:45:34,582
Not the Gauls!
809
00:45:34,582 --> 00:45:35,582
Why us?
810
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,332
There are other ships.
811
00:45:39,249 --> 00:45:41,665
Morning, could you pretend not to see us?
812
00:45:41,665 --> 00:45:43,249
But we have seen you.
813
00:45:43,249 --> 00:45:44,624
That's fair.
814
00:45:45,749 --> 00:45:46,790
Prepare our defences!
815
00:45:46,790 --> 00:45:47,874
Let's go!
816
00:45:52,415 --> 00:45:54,332
Freshly painted too!
817
00:45:54,832 --> 00:45:56,207
Watch out now!
818
00:46:00,957 --> 00:46:02,624
Don't think I enjoy it.
819
00:46:03,915 --> 00:46:04,999
No, wait.
820
00:46:05,957 --> 00:46:07,457
Watch some Chinese fighting.
821
00:46:25,832 --> 00:46:27,082
What now, skipper?
822
00:46:28,499 --> 00:46:29,707
I'm not feeling it.
823
00:46:29,707 --> 00:46:31,665
Let's go anyway. Attack!
824
00:46:35,499 --> 00:46:36,707
No, go back!
825
00:46:36,707 --> 00:46:38,290
Michel, go on!
826
00:46:52,665 --> 00:46:54,124
That's gotta hurt.
827
00:47:02,415 --> 00:47:03,707
That's too many feet!
828
00:47:05,082 --> 00:47:06,374
Let me through.
829
00:47:10,124 --> 00:47:11,374
Sorry, skipper.
830
00:47:11,374 --> 00:47:12,707
Where you going?
831
00:47:12,707 --> 00:47:14,374
Going out like a prince.
832
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:17,207
Behind you!
833
00:47:21,624 --> 00:47:23,415
Cool it, crazywoman!
834
00:48:03,874 --> 00:48:04,749
Comrades,
835
00:48:05,249 --> 00:48:07,415
official reason for us sinking,
836
00:48:07,415 --> 00:48:09,540
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
837
00:48:19,499 --> 00:48:20,499
May I?
838
00:48:21,082 --> 00:48:21,957
Yes.
839
00:48:25,915 --> 00:48:26,874
Beautiful.
840
00:48:28,457 --> 00:48:29,749
I wanted to say,
841
00:48:30,415 --> 00:48:31,915
you fight fabulously.
842
00:48:32,832 --> 00:48:33,832
Thank you.
843
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:37,374
How come you never use the potion?
844
00:48:37,374 --> 00:48:38,624
I'm not allowed to.
845
00:48:40,582 --> 00:48:43,332
Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many.
846
00:48:45,999 --> 00:48:49,082
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
847
00:49:38,790 --> 00:49:39,957
Obelix?
848
00:49:41,915 --> 00:49:42,915
Mummy!
849
00:49:48,374 --> 00:49:49,874
The feeling is extraordinary.
850
00:49:50,374 --> 00:49:52,874
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
851
00:49:52,874 --> 00:49:54,624
falling in love, so I hear.
852
00:50:21,374 --> 00:50:23,790
Having found their way again at last,
853
00:50:24,290 --> 00:50:26,540
Caesar and his powerful army
854
00:50:26,540 --> 00:50:29,874
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
855
00:50:29,874 --> 00:50:31,624
the Mongolian steppes,
856
00:50:31,624 --> 00:50:34,290
and finally reach the gates of China,
857
00:50:34,290 --> 00:50:36,624
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
858
00:50:36,624 --> 00:50:38,707
is perfecting his dastardly plan
859
00:50:38,707 --> 00:50:40,874
to conquer all six kingdoms.
860
00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:48,707
Ave!
861
00:50:49,207 --> 00:50:50,165
This is the war?
862
00:50:50,165 --> 00:50:51,457
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
863
00:50:51,457 --> 00:50:53,040
allow me to introduce...
864
00:50:53,540 --> 00:50:57,165
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
865
00:50:57,165 --> 00:50:58,749
and everything will be fine.
866
00:50:59,290 --> 00:51:02,290
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
867
00:51:02,290 --> 00:51:05,665
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
868
00:51:07,582 --> 00:51:09,332
Aren't you overthinking it?
869
00:51:09,332 --> 00:51:11,665
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
870
00:51:12,249 --> 00:51:13,707
the greatest Chinese strategist,
871
00:51:13,707 --> 00:51:15,290
who wrote The Art of War.
872
00:51:15,999 --> 00:51:17,207
The Fart is Raw?
873
00:51:18,832 --> 00:51:22,832
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
874
00:51:23,665 --> 00:51:26,165
{\an8}- All right. If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
875
00:51:26,165 --> 00:51:27,207
{\an8}Exactly!
876
00:51:28,540 --> 00:51:29,707
He's hard work.
877
00:51:29,707 --> 00:51:30,915
A maniac.
878
00:51:30,915 --> 00:51:34,082
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
879
00:51:34,790 --> 00:51:37,415
I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
880
00:51:41,707 --> 00:51:43,374
Biopix, new chapter.
881
00:51:43,374 --> 00:51:45,999
After Caesar the Seducer,
882
00:51:46,665 --> 00:51:48,040
Caesar the Strategist.
883
00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,665
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
884
00:51:50,665 --> 00:51:52,415
- Helmet!
- Gallopus!
885
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:05,040
Sword!
886
00:52:08,624 --> 00:52:09,499
What on Earth?
887
00:52:09,499 --> 00:52:11,874
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
888
00:52:13,290 --> 00:52:15,082
Any news of Antivirus?
889
00:52:15,082 --> 00:52:17,249
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
890
00:52:17,249 --> 00:52:18,457
All right, let's go!
891
00:52:23,540 --> 00:52:24,415
All together!
892
00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:29,207
Goose bumps.
893
00:52:29,207 --> 00:52:30,457
Same here.
894
00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,332
Antivirus, I love you!
895
00:54:04,457 --> 00:54:07,124
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
896
00:54:07,624 --> 00:54:09,457
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
897
00:54:09,457 --> 00:54:11,499
You wanted Antivirus,
898
00:54:11,499 --> 00:54:13,415
I gave you Antivirus.
899
00:54:13,415 --> 00:54:16,499
Now go back to your chariot races.
900
00:54:18,415 --> 00:54:21,207
Why talk when you can fly?
901
00:54:45,790 --> 00:54:47,457
A walk in the park!
902
00:54:49,915 --> 00:54:51,290
In a few days,
903
00:54:51,290 --> 00:54:53,040
I shall be master of China.
904
00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:58,290
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
905
00:54:58,874 --> 00:55:01,165
Veni, vidi, vici.
906
00:55:02,165 --> 00:55:04,457
Caesar, you spoil me.
907
00:55:04,457 --> 00:55:06,415
I've got it word for word.
908
00:55:06,415 --> 00:55:08,999
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
909
00:55:08,999 --> 00:55:10,832
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
910
00:55:11,999 --> 00:55:13,790
And Antivirus? Not here?
911
00:55:13,790 --> 00:55:15,165
He's sleeping.
912
00:55:15,165 --> 00:55:16,165
Sleeping?
913
00:55:16,165 --> 00:55:17,332
I'm here, Caesar.
914
00:55:17,332 --> 00:55:19,707
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
915
00:55:21,457 --> 00:55:24,040
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
916
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,082
The trickiest.
917
00:55:26,374 --> 00:55:28,332
Our victories echo around the land.
918
00:55:28,332 --> 00:55:30,165
And the Ku Koos never give up.
919
00:55:30,165 --> 00:55:33,415
Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo.
920
00:55:35,124 --> 00:55:38,124
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
921
00:55:38,874 --> 00:55:41,707
His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
922
00:55:41,707 --> 00:55:44,582
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
923
00:55:44,582 --> 00:55:46,374
The man in the bamboo mask.
924
00:55:46,874 --> 00:55:47,749
A death
925
00:55:47,749 --> 00:55:51,332
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
926
00:55:52,499 --> 00:55:53,540
By the way...
927
00:55:54,999 --> 00:55:56,582
you seem a bit cuckoo.
928
00:55:57,207 --> 00:55:59,582
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
929
00:55:59,582 --> 00:56:00,624
I mean...
930
00:56:03,624 --> 00:56:05,082
you're totally cuckoo, right?
931
00:56:11,457 --> 00:56:16,207
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
932
00:56:16,207 --> 00:56:18,290
What do you stand to gain,
933
00:56:18,290 --> 00:56:20,374
Deng Tsin Quin?
934
00:56:21,665 --> 00:56:23,915
You plan to give me a Caesarian
935
00:56:23,915 --> 00:56:25,957
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
936
00:56:25,957 --> 00:56:27,207
No.
937
00:56:27,790 --> 00:56:29,082
I'd never do that.
938
00:56:29,665 --> 00:56:30,665
Really?
939
00:56:31,999 --> 00:56:32,832
I would.
940
00:56:33,624 --> 00:56:35,165
At the drop of a hat!
941
00:56:36,665 --> 00:56:37,624
Good one!
942
00:56:39,749 --> 00:56:41,415
Tell me, O Caesar,
943
00:56:42,082 --> 00:56:44,124
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
944
00:56:44,124 --> 00:56:45,790
is highly respected in China?
945
00:56:46,540 --> 00:56:47,499
That's true.
946
00:56:47,499 --> 00:56:50,874
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
947
00:56:51,457 --> 00:56:53,624
What's she like in real life? Cool?
948
00:57:08,624 --> 00:57:10,165
Home at last.
949
00:57:11,540 --> 00:57:14,457
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
950
00:57:15,915 --> 00:57:18,040
Don't bother. They have no idea.
951
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,040
I smell them, though.
952
00:57:20,874 --> 00:57:21,957
What sweet scent!
953
00:57:22,540 --> 00:57:23,499
Titanix,
954
00:57:23,499 --> 00:57:25,665
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
955
00:57:25,665 --> 00:57:28,457
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
956
00:57:28,457 --> 00:57:30,124
to prove the earth's round.
957
00:58:00,624 --> 00:58:02,665
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
958
00:58:08,249 --> 00:58:10,957
Ka Ra Tay, how will we find
your master here?
959
00:58:10,957 --> 00:58:12,332
He will find us.
960
00:58:30,457 --> 00:58:32,165
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
961
00:58:33,915 --> 00:58:35,207
The bald guy's a friend?
962
00:58:36,582 --> 00:58:38,707
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
963
00:58:40,540 --> 00:58:44,332
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
964
00:58:45,457 --> 00:58:47,790
Why all the mystery?
965
00:58:47,790 --> 00:58:49,207
I've lost my appetite now!
966
00:58:52,124 --> 00:58:53,707
He's never like that.
967
00:58:55,124 --> 00:58:59,165
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
968
00:58:59,165 --> 00:59:00,957
Can we talk honestly?
969
00:59:01,790 --> 00:59:05,249
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
970
00:59:06,457 --> 00:59:08,874
But it's really tense between you two.
971
00:59:08,874 --> 00:59:10,707
The tension's getting to us all.
972
00:59:11,374 --> 00:59:12,415
- It is?
- Yes.
973
00:59:13,582 --> 00:59:15,290
I have an idea for you both
974
00:59:15,290 --> 00:59:19,082
and honestly it will do you
the world of good.
975
00:59:21,749 --> 00:59:23,665
Obelix, we need to talk.
976
00:59:24,207 --> 00:59:25,374
I'm all ears.
977
00:59:25,374 --> 00:59:29,290
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
978
00:59:31,207 --> 00:59:32,207
For sure.
979
00:59:33,832 --> 00:59:36,082
I think it would be simpler...
980
00:59:36,790 --> 00:59:38,999
if she moved to our village.
981
00:59:38,999 --> 00:59:40,124
All right.
982
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:42,457
You and I are...
983
00:59:42,957 --> 00:59:44,540
We've lived together for ages.
984
00:59:45,332 --> 00:59:47,332
We never said it was for life.
985
00:59:48,540 --> 00:59:49,790
Seeing as, originally,
986
00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:52,124
it was my parents' hut...
987
00:59:56,165 --> 00:59:57,915
You'd like me to move out?
988
00:59:59,082 --> 01:00:00,082
Yes.
989
01:00:04,082 --> 01:00:05,582
What a relief!
990
01:00:05,582 --> 01:00:08,999
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
991
01:00:09,582 --> 01:00:10,415
Really?
992
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,457
I'm in love, too.
993
01:00:15,957 --> 01:00:16,957
You're in love?
994
01:00:17,957 --> 01:00:19,040
Beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
995
01:00:22,790 --> 01:00:23,624
Ka Ra Tay?
996
01:00:24,540 --> 01:00:25,832
Our Ka Ra Tay?
997
01:00:26,332 --> 01:00:27,165
Seriously?
998
01:00:29,915 --> 01:00:30,874
What's so funny?
999
01:00:32,165 --> 01:00:33,374
I'm just surprised.
1000
01:00:33,374 --> 01:00:34,707
By me falling in love?
1001
01:00:35,374 --> 01:00:36,582
Come on, Oby...
1002
01:00:36,582 --> 01:00:37,665
Don't Oby me.
1003
01:00:38,165 --> 01:00:39,207
No more Oby!
1004
01:00:40,832 --> 01:00:41,665
What's funny?
1005
01:00:41,665 --> 01:00:43,332
I've no right to love?
1006
01:00:43,832 --> 01:00:45,124
No rights at all!
1007
01:00:45,124 --> 01:00:47,040
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1008
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:48,999
- It is not!
- It is!
1009
01:00:50,124 --> 01:00:52,207
No magic potion for Obelix.
1010
01:00:52,207 --> 01:00:53,499
No love for Obelix!
1011
01:00:53,499 --> 01:00:56,582
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1012
01:00:57,374 --> 01:00:58,332
Poor Obelix!
1013
01:00:58,332 --> 01:00:59,749
Now I'm not allowed
1014
01:00:59,749 --> 01:01:03,124
to roast my wild boar in my own hut!
1015
01:01:03,707 --> 01:01:06,499
Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut!
1016
01:01:06,499 --> 01:01:09,499
- Correct!
- And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1017
01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:11,999
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1018
01:01:11,999 --> 01:01:12,999
For your sake!
1019
01:01:13,499 --> 01:01:14,457
Your health!
1020
01:01:14,457 --> 01:01:16,624
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1021
01:01:16,624 --> 01:01:18,040
Because you're fat!
1022
01:01:20,415 --> 01:01:22,665
I am curvaceous!
1023
01:01:23,499 --> 01:01:24,624
But at least I'm...
1024
01:01:25,124 --> 01:01:26,332
strong.
1025
01:01:26,332 --> 01:01:28,415
There we go. Thank you!
1026
01:01:28,415 --> 01:01:31,207
You think it's easy always being weaker?
1027
01:01:31,707 --> 01:01:33,082
Dependent on a flask!
1028
01:01:33,082 --> 01:01:34,332
Serves you right!
1029
01:01:34,832 --> 01:01:36,124
There, I said it!
1030
01:01:37,540 --> 01:01:40,499
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1031
01:01:42,124 --> 01:01:44,207
Speak freely.
1032
01:01:56,499 --> 01:01:58,332
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1033
01:01:58,332 --> 01:01:59,540
What now?
1034
01:01:59,540 --> 01:02:01,707
We protect the princess's identity.
1035
01:02:03,165 --> 01:02:04,457
What brings Caesar to China?
1036
01:02:04,457 --> 01:02:07,582
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1037
01:02:09,957 --> 01:02:11,374
News flash!
1038
01:02:12,374 --> 01:02:13,665
People of China,
1039
01:02:13,665 --> 01:02:16,290
Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar
1040
01:02:16,290 --> 01:02:18,832
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1041
01:02:18,832 --> 01:02:20,207
of the ex-Empress.
1042
01:02:21,249 --> 01:02:24,749
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1043
01:02:25,915 --> 01:02:29,874
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1044
01:02:29,874 --> 01:02:30,915
Nobody told me.
1045
01:02:30,915 --> 01:02:32,790
By papyrus? You're not in the group?
1046
01:02:32,790 --> 01:02:34,749
I never am!
1047
01:02:34,749 --> 01:02:36,749
I am Princess Sa See!
1048
01:02:36,749 --> 01:02:39,082
Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens,
1049
01:02:39,082 --> 01:02:41,624
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1050
01:02:41,624 --> 01:02:43,082
Arrest her!
1051
01:02:49,790 --> 01:02:50,665
Hey, doggie.
1052
01:02:51,540 --> 01:02:52,374
Bring it on.
1053
01:02:52,374 --> 01:02:55,665
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1054
01:02:55,665 --> 01:02:58,207
must prepare for a world of pain.
1055
01:03:00,082 --> 01:03:01,374
I said that?
1056
01:03:07,707 --> 01:03:09,915
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1057
01:03:09,915 --> 01:03:12,707
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1058
01:03:13,915 --> 01:03:15,124
You're kidding me.
1059
01:03:17,665 --> 01:03:18,665
You good?
1060
01:03:22,665 --> 01:03:23,582
We can start?
1061
01:03:24,207 --> 01:03:25,874
- Toilet break.
- Sure.
1062
01:03:25,874 --> 01:03:27,165
Not buying it.
1063
01:03:57,415 --> 01:03:58,415
Wring!
1064
01:04:21,582 --> 01:04:22,790
How about that.
1065
01:04:28,457 --> 01:04:31,165
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1066
01:04:31,165 --> 01:04:32,624
For what we get paid...
1067
01:04:34,457 --> 01:04:35,749
Act like we never met?
1068
01:04:35,749 --> 01:04:36,790
We never met.
1069
01:05:31,999 --> 01:05:34,415
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1070
01:05:34,415 --> 01:05:35,624
Yeah, I saw that.
1071
01:05:35,624 --> 01:05:37,624
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1072
01:05:38,499 --> 01:05:39,749
What's this?
1073
01:05:42,915 --> 01:05:44,040
Insane! So tight.
1074
01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:45,915
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1075
01:05:45,915 --> 01:05:48,082
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1076
01:05:49,790 --> 01:05:50,915
A problem?
1077
01:05:50,915 --> 01:05:51,999
Maybe.
1078
01:05:52,957 --> 01:05:54,040
Potion's worn off?
1079
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:55,749
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1080
01:05:57,582 --> 01:05:58,457
We'll talk later.
1081
01:05:59,249 --> 01:06:00,415
Ready when you are.
1082
01:06:19,374 --> 01:06:20,499
Halt!
1083
01:06:25,290 --> 01:06:27,124
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1084
01:06:32,457 --> 01:06:34,124
SOAPS by CLEO
1085
01:06:36,582 --> 01:06:38,374
Who whistled?
1086
01:06:49,332 --> 01:06:50,457
I go off to war.
1087
01:06:51,374 --> 01:06:53,374
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1088
01:06:53,957 --> 01:06:55,707
No messages, no news.
1089
01:06:55,707 --> 01:06:57,374
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1090
01:06:57,374 --> 01:06:59,457
Time to snap out of it!
1091
01:06:59,457 --> 01:07:02,249
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1092
01:07:02,249 --> 01:07:04,749
- We've gone a bit flat.
- He's right.
1093
01:07:04,749 --> 01:07:06,374
You messaged her?
1094
01:07:06,374 --> 01:07:09,374
No, we said no messages. We play it cool.
1095
01:07:09,374 --> 01:07:12,290
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1096
01:07:12,290 --> 01:07:14,415
Butt out, cupcake!
1097
01:07:14,415 --> 01:07:16,374
Come again, sentry?
1098
01:07:16,374 --> 01:07:19,707
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1099
01:07:19,707 --> 01:07:22,915
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1100
01:07:22,915 --> 01:07:24,665
Shut your trap!
1101
01:07:28,290 --> 01:07:29,915
Who wears the toga at home?
1102
01:07:30,415 --> 01:07:31,332
Who's the boss?
1103
01:07:31,957 --> 01:07:32,874
I am.
1104
01:07:33,415 --> 01:07:34,499
Anyone hear that?
1105
01:07:35,124 --> 01:07:36,665
Who's the boss?
1106
01:07:38,040 --> 01:07:39,499
- I am.
- There you are!
1107
01:07:39,499 --> 01:07:41,457
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1108
01:07:41,457 --> 01:07:43,082
Our champion! Number one!
1109
01:07:43,999 --> 01:07:45,707
The only message is,
1110
01:07:45,707 --> 01:07:48,874
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!"
1111
01:07:48,874 --> 01:07:51,707
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1112
01:07:55,665 --> 01:07:56,957
You're right. Scribe!
1113
01:08:08,374 --> 01:08:09,749
Better!
1114
01:08:09,749 --> 01:08:13,332
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1115
01:08:14,290 --> 01:08:17,374
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1116
01:08:18,457 --> 01:08:19,707
Ave, me!
1117
01:08:19,707 --> 01:08:23,874
There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful!
1118
01:08:23,874 --> 01:08:25,665
The Queen of Egypt?
1119
01:08:25,665 --> 01:08:27,665
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1120
01:08:28,582 --> 01:08:30,499
They're not singing anymore...
1121
01:08:30,499 --> 01:08:33,499
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1122
01:08:33,499 --> 01:08:35,249
- Send.
- Yes!
1123
01:08:39,290 --> 01:08:40,540
Pigeon!
1124
01:08:43,874 --> 01:08:44,999
A bunny!
1125
01:08:46,082 --> 01:08:47,040
It's a bunny.
1126
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,415
Scary!
1127
01:08:48,999 --> 01:08:50,624
A raccoon!
1128
01:08:54,332 --> 01:08:55,249
A goat!
1129
01:08:56,082 --> 01:08:57,290
A billy goat.
1130
01:09:03,332 --> 01:09:05,040
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1131
01:09:14,207 --> 01:09:15,332
From Cleopatra.
1132
01:09:15,332 --> 01:09:16,332
Already?
1133
01:09:17,915 --> 01:09:18,749
Read it.
1134
01:09:30,457 --> 01:09:32,999
- Don't understand a word.
- I don't understand.
1135
01:09:35,290 --> 01:09:36,915
"I wanted to apologise
1136
01:09:37,874 --> 01:09:39,082
for my behaviour."
1137
01:09:39,082 --> 01:09:40,457
"I went too far."
1138
01:09:40,457 --> 01:09:41,582
For sure.
1139
01:09:42,749 --> 01:09:46,665
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1140
01:09:47,249 --> 01:09:49,915
"Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon."
1141
01:09:50,707 --> 01:09:52,040
"Your loving Cleo."
1142
01:09:53,457 --> 01:09:55,124
Stop the pigeon!
1143
01:09:55,124 --> 01:09:56,665
Cancel the pigeon!
1144
01:09:56,665 --> 01:09:58,499
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1145
01:09:58,499 --> 01:10:00,915
Sent is sent. I beat him?
1146
01:10:01,499 --> 01:10:02,624
Everybody out!
1147
01:10:07,707 --> 01:10:08,915
I said everybody.
1148
01:11:26,832 --> 01:11:28,749
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1149
01:11:28,749 --> 01:11:29,999
- Hands off.
- What?
1150
01:11:29,999 --> 01:11:31,374
They're offerings.
1151
01:11:32,040 --> 01:11:33,707
Sorry. I didn't...
1152
01:11:41,374 --> 01:11:42,374
Hold on.
1153
01:11:42,374 --> 01:11:44,415
Move along. Have a good evening.
1154
01:11:44,999 --> 01:11:45,874
Good luck.
1155
01:11:46,374 --> 01:11:47,832
Just a beggar.
1156
01:11:53,332 --> 01:11:54,457
Master Sill Lee.
1157
01:11:55,332 --> 01:11:56,374
Sorry.
1158
01:11:57,332 --> 01:12:00,040
Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee.
I thought...
1159
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:03,374
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1160
01:12:03,874 --> 01:12:05,624
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1161
01:12:06,332 --> 01:12:09,415
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1162
01:12:09,415 --> 01:12:10,749
It's beyond me.
1163
01:12:10,749 --> 01:12:13,915
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1164
01:12:13,915 --> 01:12:16,874
Try to take back your coin,
1165
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:18,415
little grasshopper.
1166
01:12:22,790 --> 01:12:24,624
It's too easy. You're blind.
1167
01:12:24,624 --> 01:12:28,082
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1168
01:12:29,790 --> 01:12:31,332
You saw that coming?
1169
01:12:33,332 --> 01:12:34,832
There we are!
1170
01:12:35,374 --> 01:12:36,665
It was his game.
1171
01:12:36,665 --> 01:12:37,874
Leave him.
1172
01:12:37,874 --> 01:12:39,040
Little grasshopper!
1173
01:12:39,624 --> 01:12:40,915
Sir, over here.
1174
01:12:41,749 --> 01:12:44,207
You are as swift as a cobra.
1175
01:12:44,207 --> 01:12:45,290
Yup, Sill Lee.
1176
01:12:45,290 --> 01:12:47,874
Can we move on to important matters?
1177
01:12:54,040 --> 01:12:55,582
By Toutatis!
1178
01:12:55,582 --> 01:12:59,499
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1179
01:12:59,499 --> 01:13:01,624
Do not touch.
1180
01:13:02,582 --> 01:13:03,457
Hard to resist.
1181
01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,207
I see
1182
01:13:05,207 --> 01:13:07,249
an old abandoned temple.
1183
01:13:07,249 --> 01:13:09,207
The temple in Xuan.
1184
01:13:09,707 --> 01:13:13,332
Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner.
1185
01:13:14,499 --> 01:13:16,582
After releasing her,
1186
01:13:16,582 --> 01:13:19,624
you must go with all speed
1187
01:13:19,624 --> 01:13:21,415
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1188
01:13:21,415 --> 01:13:25,707
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1189
01:13:26,290 --> 01:13:28,332
You will encounter
1190
01:13:28,957 --> 01:13:30,082
the hideous...
1191
01:13:30,082 --> 01:13:32,082
the unsightly...
1192
01:13:32,082 --> 01:13:36,207
the monstrous crown prince,
1193
01:13:36,207 --> 01:13:37,624
Prince of Ku Koo,
1194
01:13:37,624 --> 01:13:40,915
the man in the bamboo mask.
1195
01:13:42,915 --> 01:13:44,665
Don't worry, it's fake.
1196
01:13:44,665 --> 01:13:46,540
Good luck!
1197
01:13:47,124 --> 01:13:49,582
We must go our separate ways.
1198
01:13:50,290 --> 01:13:51,457
Grand master,
1199
01:13:51,957 --> 01:13:53,665
are you done with the ball?
1200
01:13:55,499 --> 01:13:56,582
Yes.
1201
01:14:00,457 --> 01:14:01,540
Holy cow!
1202
01:14:04,624 --> 01:14:06,582
There you are. You broke it.
1203
01:14:06,582 --> 01:14:08,332
He said do not touch.
1204
01:14:10,332 --> 01:14:11,415
He's right.
1205
01:14:12,332 --> 01:14:14,165
I said do not touch!
1206
01:14:20,165 --> 01:14:21,165
Why'd you touch it?
1207
01:14:27,207 --> 01:14:29,749
Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors...
1208
01:14:33,915 --> 01:14:35,290
Princess Sa See?
1209
01:14:35,290 --> 01:14:38,665
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1210
01:14:39,249 --> 01:14:40,124
And a dog.
1211
01:14:55,499 --> 01:14:57,999
You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in!
1212
01:14:58,790 --> 01:15:00,457
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1213
01:15:00,957 --> 01:15:02,290
- Asterix!
- What?
1214
01:15:02,290 --> 01:15:04,165
Why are we running?
1215
01:15:04,165 --> 01:15:05,999
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1216
01:15:05,999 --> 01:15:08,040
No more potion with the Princess.
1217
01:15:08,040 --> 01:15:10,040
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1218
01:15:10,540 --> 01:15:12,665
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1219
01:15:12,665 --> 01:15:13,832
Come on!
1220
01:15:15,624 --> 01:15:16,624
Fast!
1221
01:15:17,332 --> 01:15:18,415
Faster!
1222
01:15:22,957 --> 01:15:24,374
He does this on purpose.
1223
01:16:17,249 --> 01:16:18,332
All right.
1224
01:16:23,665 --> 01:16:26,790
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1225
01:16:27,832 --> 01:16:29,082
So, our last night...
1226
01:16:29,957 --> 01:16:31,249
I was thinking...
1227
01:16:31,915 --> 01:16:33,999
maybe as a memento...
1228
01:16:33,999 --> 01:16:34,915
Majesty!
1229
01:16:36,707 --> 01:16:37,790
Gave me a fright!
1230
01:16:37,790 --> 01:16:39,374
We'll get you out.
1231
01:16:39,374 --> 01:16:40,624
Who's that?
1232
01:16:42,707 --> 01:16:43,999
Stand back.
1233
01:16:54,790 --> 01:16:55,790
All good?
1234
01:17:04,040 --> 01:17:04,874
Sorry.
1235
01:17:17,707 --> 01:17:18,582
Rise.
1236
01:17:20,332 --> 01:17:21,165
Let's go.
1237
01:17:21,165 --> 01:17:22,665
Jump. We'll catch you.
1238
01:17:22,665 --> 01:17:24,499
What? Jump?
1239
01:17:24,499 --> 01:17:26,249
I can't leave right now!
1240
01:17:26,249 --> 01:17:28,457
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1241
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:30,874
In two balls, the guard caves.
1242
01:17:30,874 --> 01:17:33,540
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1243
01:17:34,165 --> 01:17:34,999
Are you sure?
1244
01:17:35,999 --> 01:17:36,999
Yes.
1245
01:17:37,999 --> 01:17:38,957
As you wish.
1246
01:17:42,457 --> 01:17:43,332
Take care.
1247
01:17:44,290 --> 01:17:45,540
And keep your head.
1248
01:17:47,790 --> 01:17:49,249
You're afraid for me.
1249
01:17:50,499 --> 01:17:54,457
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1250
01:18:02,332 --> 01:18:03,999
She's so impressive!
1251
01:18:05,374 --> 01:18:06,374
Thank you.
1252
01:18:07,957 --> 01:18:08,874
Mother!
1253
01:18:09,540 --> 01:18:11,165
What joy to see you again.
1254
01:18:21,624 --> 01:18:23,165
- Alert!
- Run!
1255
01:18:23,165 --> 01:18:24,165
They've escaped!
1256
01:18:35,082 --> 01:18:36,582
Which way now? Which way?
1257
01:18:38,124 --> 01:18:39,124
Wait.
1258
01:18:40,124 --> 01:18:42,207
Good. We lost them.
1259
01:18:42,207 --> 01:18:44,540
Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help.
1260
01:18:44,540 --> 01:18:46,457
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1261
01:18:47,290 --> 01:18:49,415
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1262
01:18:51,165 --> 01:18:52,457
Bankruptis.
1263
01:18:52,457 --> 01:18:54,999
We already met at the market.
1264
01:18:55,707 --> 01:18:56,749
That's right.
1265
01:18:57,540 --> 01:18:59,249
Life's full of surprises.
1266
01:19:01,624 --> 01:19:03,374
Attention issues for the Empress.
1267
01:19:04,582 --> 01:19:07,790
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1268
01:19:07,790 --> 01:19:11,207
Meanwhile I'll rally
our army and followers.
1269
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:13,290
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1270
01:19:13,957 --> 01:19:15,707
I shall honour you, Mother.
1271
01:19:15,707 --> 01:19:16,874
You'll be proud of me.
1272
01:19:18,749 --> 01:19:20,082
I'm already proud of you.
1273
01:19:21,999 --> 01:19:23,165
Let's go, Ka Ra Tay.
1274
01:19:40,749 --> 01:19:42,124
This will end badly.
1275
01:20:04,999 --> 01:20:07,040
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix.
1276
01:20:09,040 --> 01:20:09,874
Obelix, too.
1277
01:20:12,665 --> 01:20:15,707
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1278
01:20:16,749 --> 01:20:17,832
So let's go.
1279
01:20:19,249 --> 01:20:20,790
Obelix, come on.
1280
01:20:29,207 --> 01:20:31,832
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1281
01:20:32,915 --> 01:20:35,082
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1282
01:20:39,415 --> 01:20:41,957
Got a kick but not all bad.
1283
01:20:42,707 --> 01:20:43,832
It's relaxing.
1284
01:20:43,832 --> 01:20:44,957
Rice wine.
1285
01:20:45,582 --> 01:20:48,790
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1286
01:20:51,290 --> 01:20:52,374
You see...
1287
01:20:52,374 --> 01:20:54,124
At times like this...
1288
01:20:57,499 --> 01:20:58,499
I miss her.
1289
01:20:58,999 --> 01:21:00,790
What's with the music?
1290
01:21:00,790 --> 01:21:01,790
A full band?
1291
01:21:01,790 --> 01:21:03,207
Four and a singer.
1292
01:21:03,707 --> 01:21:05,582
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1293
01:21:05,582 --> 01:21:06,790
It's practical.
1294
01:21:07,790 --> 01:21:09,915
I always have my favourite music.
1295
01:21:11,499 --> 01:21:12,332
Know it?
1296
01:21:12,332 --> 01:21:13,707
Sure, obviously.
1297
01:21:14,832 --> 01:21:17,082
Now that's what I call music.
1298
01:21:18,249 --> 01:21:20,457
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1299
01:21:34,082 --> 01:21:35,290
Amore!
1300
01:21:36,374 --> 01:21:37,374
What are you doing?
1301
01:21:39,249 --> 01:21:41,624
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1302
01:21:43,457 --> 01:21:44,332
Know what?
1303
01:21:44,332 --> 01:21:46,957
Your libation brought back the urge.
1304
01:21:49,624 --> 01:21:52,624
I shall become the next Emperor of China.
1305
01:21:53,207 --> 01:21:54,082
Wow...
1306
01:21:54,082 --> 01:21:56,874
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1307
01:21:57,665 --> 01:22:00,415
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1308
01:22:17,832 --> 01:22:20,207
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1309
01:22:20,207 --> 01:22:21,582
Yes, next one.
1310
01:22:23,540 --> 01:22:25,707
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1311
01:22:25,707 --> 01:22:29,707
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1312
01:22:29,707 --> 01:22:31,457
the man in the bamboo mask.
1313
01:22:31,957 --> 01:22:33,040
Keep up.
1314
01:22:36,790 --> 01:22:37,957
I am To Fu.
1315
01:22:38,957 --> 01:22:41,999
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1316
01:22:42,582 --> 01:22:43,957
Can you prove
1317
01:22:44,665 --> 01:22:46,790
you really are Princess Sa See?
1318
01:22:47,957 --> 01:22:50,624
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1319
01:22:50,624 --> 01:22:54,332
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1320
01:22:55,582 --> 01:22:57,249
You could be a spy
1321
01:22:57,874 --> 01:22:59,040
in the pay
1322
01:22:59,040 --> 01:23:00,624
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1323
01:23:03,165 --> 01:23:03,999
The coin!
1324
01:23:09,915 --> 01:23:13,415
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1325
01:23:15,415 --> 01:23:17,540
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1326
01:23:17,540 --> 01:23:19,290
We must be careful.
1327
01:23:19,915 --> 01:23:22,332
His Highness, the Prince...
1328
01:23:22,332 --> 01:23:23,457
of Ku Koo!
1329
01:23:35,832 --> 01:23:36,832
What the heck?
1330
01:23:37,457 --> 01:23:39,624
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1331
01:23:39,624 --> 01:23:40,707
In his house.
1332
01:24:03,332 --> 01:24:04,332
Princess Sa See,
1333
01:24:04,332 --> 01:24:06,999
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1334
01:24:06,999 --> 01:24:09,624
We support your mother, our Empress.
1335
01:24:11,332 --> 01:24:12,332
Thanks.
1336
01:24:12,999 --> 01:24:14,124
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1337
01:24:14,707 --> 01:24:16,999
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1338
01:24:17,749 --> 01:24:19,582
On the contrary, it suits you.
1339
01:24:21,207 --> 01:24:22,624
Nobody ever said that.
1340
01:24:22,624 --> 01:24:24,582
I never wanted to say it.
1341
01:24:39,999 --> 01:24:42,165
That's love at first look.
1342
01:24:42,165 --> 01:24:44,624
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1343
01:24:47,415 --> 01:24:49,374
Back to the friend zone.
1344
01:24:50,707 --> 01:24:51,749
Let's go.
1345
01:24:53,207 --> 01:24:54,707
We have a country to save.
1346
01:25:08,707 --> 01:25:10,874
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1347
01:25:11,374 --> 01:25:12,540
No way out.
1348
01:25:13,040 --> 01:25:14,915
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1349
01:25:18,957 --> 01:25:20,332
Here we go again.
1350
01:25:20,332 --> 01:25:21,582
Blah-blah time.
1351
01:25:33,499 --> 01:25:35,332
I am Princess Sa See.
1352
01:25:35,332 --> 01:25:37,707
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1353
01:25:39,457 --> 01:25:40,874
Sa See darling,
1354
01:25:40,874 --> 01:25:42,540
we can marry at last.
1355
01:25:42,540 --> 01:25:46,040
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1356
01:25:46,915 --> 01:25:49,749
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1357
01:25:49,749 --> 01:25:52,207
I have a question for you.
1358
01:25:53,540 --> 01:25:54,874
How many?
1359
01:25:54,874 --> 01:25:56,249
Ten thousand.
1360
01:25:56,249 --> 01:25:59,874
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1361
01:26:06,040 --> 01:26:09,249
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1362
01:26:09,249 --> 01:26:10,332
You're wonderful.
1363
01:26:10,332 --> 01:26:11,999
You miscounted, Princess.
1364
01:26:11,999 --> 01:26:13,665
Ten thousand plus two.
1365
01:26:13,665 --> 01:26:14,999
If you still need me.
1366
01:26:14,999 --> 01:26:16,249
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1367
01:26:16,249 --> 01:26:17,457
It's us!
1368
01:26:17,457 --> 01:26:18,374
The crazies!
1369
01:26:18,374 --> 01:26:19,665
Not plus two.
1370
01:26:19,665 --> 01:26:20,874
Plus three!
1371
01:26:21,457 --> 01:26:23,165
The man in the bamboo mask.
1372
01:26:25,082 --> 01:26:25,999
Gross!
1373
01:26:25,999 --> 01:26:27,874
Poor guy's blond!
1374
01:26:27,874 --> 01:26:28,915
It's not too bad.
1375
01:26:28,915 --> 01:26:30,540
Not plus three. Plus four!
1376
01:26:31,249 --> 01:26:32,374
I'm the man
1377
01:26:33,165 --> 01:26:34,290
with feather feet!
1378
01:26:34,290 --> 01:26:35,582
What is this?
1379
01:26:42,082 --> 01:26:44,415
Why talk when you can run?
1380
01:26:56,874 --> 01:26:59,124
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1381
01:26:59,124 --> 01:27:00,915
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1382
01:27:03,832 --> 01:27:04,915
Substitute!
1383
01:27:09,124 --> 01:27:10,499
Antivirus!
1384
01:27:47,374 --> 01:27:49,249
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1385
01:27:49,832 --> 01:27:50,874
Not enough for four.
1386
01:27:50,874 --> 01:27:52,124
"Not enough for four!"
1387
01:27:55,832 --> 01:27:57,207
The cheats!
1388
01:27:57,207 --> 01:27:58,374
Won't help them.
1389
01:27:59,915 --> 01:28:01,790
Charge!
1390
01:28:19,040 --> 01:28:20,040
Yes?
1391
01:28:20,582 --> 01:28:21,582
Of course.
1392
01:29:11,249 --> 01:29:12,207
Help me.
1393
01:29:12,790 --> 01:29:13,874
Pipe down.
1394
01:29:13,874 --> 01:29:14,957
You've got gall.
1395
01:29:15,499 --> 01:29:16,332
Gall...
1396
01:29:16,332 --> 01:29:17,415
Gaul!
1397
01:29:30,332 --> 01:29:31,665
Can I join in?
1398
01:29:31,665 --> 01:29:32,999
Yeah, sure.
1399
01:29:32,999 --> 01:29:34,082
Archers!
1400
01:29:35,040 --> 01:29:35,957
Prepare!
1401
01:29:36,540 --> 01:29:37,540
Draw!
1402
01:29:38,040 --> 01:29:39,124
Loose!
1403
01:29:40,499 --> 01:29:42,790
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1404
01:29:45,707 --> 01:29:46,707
Arrows!
1405
01:30:01,290 --> 01:30:02,749
You can't be serious.
1406
01:30:02,749 --> 01:30:04,165
Don't judge me.
1407
01:30:06,790 --> 01:30:07,749
I feel it.
1408
01:30:08,999 --> 01:30:10,457
I feel it rising.
1409
01:30:13,624 --> 01:30:14,749
It's insane!
1410
01:30:16,207 --> 01:30:18,290
That's it?
1411
01:30:20,999 --> 01:30:22,374
No way! It's a joke.
1412
01:30:32,290 --> 01:30:33,457
I smell victory.
1413
01:30:35,290 --> 01:30:36,457
A particular scent?
1414
01:30:37,665 --> 01:30:39,790
Do readers care for such details?
1415
01:30:39,790 --> 01:30:41,207
It sets the scene.
1416
01:30:42,999 --> 01:30:44,665
The scent of laurels.
1417
01:30:44,665 --> 01:30:47,457
Excellent!
1418
01:31:09,624 --> 01:31:10,582
Thanks.
1419
01:31:10,582 --> 01:31:11,832
You're welcome.
1420
01:31:15,165 --> 01:31:17,082
We fell out but I can help out.
1421
01:31:17,665 --> 01:31:18,499
Sure.
1422
01:31:18,499 --> 01:31:19,499
I'm on your side.
1423
01:31:21,165 --> 01:31:21,999
Sure.
1424
01:31:23,540 --> 01:31:25,082
You'll always be my chum.
1425
01:31:28,249 --> 01:31:29,082
Sure.
1426
01:31:30,415 --> 01:31:31,749
Sorry, Obelix.
1427
01:31:56,582 --> 01:31:57,540
Stop!
1428
01:32:12,082 --> 01:32:13,499
Before I die...
1429
01:32:14,915 --> 01:32:16,665
I must tell you, Princess...
1430
01:32:42,707 --> 01:32:43,540
Look!
1431
01:32:45,290 --> 01:32:47,082
Just when all seems lost,
1432
01:32:47,665 --> 01:32:49,290
the Empress arrives,
1433
01:32:49,290 --> 01:32:52,332
followed by her army and entire people.
1434
01:32:52,332 --> 01:32:53,790
They are all there,
1435
01:32:53,790 --> 01:32:57,415
marching across the middle kingdom
1436
01:32:57,415 --> 01:32:59,874
to the scene of the final battle.
1437
01:33:16,915 --> 01:33:18,832
- What on Earth is this?
- Not sure.
1438
01:33:18,832 --> 01:33:21,374
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1439
01:33:21,915 --> 01:33:23,290
Pine boxes maybe.
1440
01:33:32,249 --> 01:33:33,790
I am Empress of China.
1441
01:33:33,790 --> 01:33:36,415
I order you to leave my empire forthwith.
1442
01:33:37,457 --> 01:33:38,540
Never!
1443
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,207
She has a temper. Reminds me of someone.
1444
01:33:43,165 --> 01:33:44,290
Your Majesty!
1445
01:33:45,165 --> 01:33:47,499
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1446
01:33:47,499 --> 01:33:50,207
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1447
01:33:50,207 --> 01:33:53,124
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1448
01:33:53,124 --> 01:33:55,540
my army will reduce you to dust.
1449
01:33:56,374 --> 01:33:57,540
What's that?
1450
01:33:58,082 --> 01:33:59,040
A local proverb?
1451
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:01,790
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1452
01:34:07,499 --> 01:34:08,749
How many of you?
1453
01:34:08,749 --> 01:34:10,040
He's at it again.
1454
01:34:10,665 --> 01:34:11,499
One
1455
01:34:12,040 --> 01:34:12,874
million!
1456
01:34:15,999 --> 01:34:17,082
Game changer.
1457
01:34:18,790 --> 01:34:21,040
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1458
01:34:21,040 --> 01:34:23,124
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1459
01:34:24,124 --> 01:34:25,207
Don't desert us.
1460
01:34:25,207 --> 01:34:26,707
There's a million of them.
1461
01:34:27,499 --> 01:34:28,499
It's not my war.
1462
01:34:34,290 --> 01:34:35,582
I can't go like this.
1463
01:34:38,665 --> 01:34:39,707
Rear up!
1464
01:34:51,249 --> 01:34:52,374
Got your message!
1465
01:34:52,374 --> 01:34:55,332
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1466
01:34:56,582 --> 01:34:58,290
It's been a tough day.
1467
01:34:59,124 --> 01:34:59,957
A tough day.
1468
01:35:39,249 --> 01:35:40,832
That feels good.
1469
01:35:42,332 --> 01:35:44,332
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1470
01:35:44,832 --> 01:35:47,415
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet,
1471
01:35:48,124 --> 01:35:51,999
but also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1472
01:35:55,290 --> 01:35:57,957
And now the Empress will speak.
1473
01:35:59,999 --> 01:36:01,082
Valiant Gauls!
1474
01:36:02,165 --> 01:36:03,957
You have my eternal gratitude.
1475
01:36:04,707 --> 01:36:06,749
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1476
01:36:06,749 --> 01:36:09,249
I insisted we come to help.
1477
01:36:10,665 --> 01:36:12,499
We made this long journey
1478
01:36:12,499 --> 01:36:14,540
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1479
01:36:23,249 --> 01:36:24,790
That's my cousin Remix.
1480
01:36:25,374 --> 01:36:27,165
A specialist in world music.
1481
01:36:27,999 --> 01:36:29,207
He's my cousin.
1482
01:36:29,207 --> 01:36:31,499
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1483
01:37:18,165 --> 01:37:20,665
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1484
01:37:20,665 --> 01:37:21,832
We're chiefs.
1485
01:37:21,832 --> 01:37:24,499
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1486
01:37:24,499 --> 01:37:25,832
Don't you agree?
1487
01:37:28,207 --> 01:37:30,082
And I'm not done.
1488
01:37:30,082 --> 01:37:32,415
And behind every great man
1489
01:37:32,415 --> 01:37:33,582
is a great woman.
1490
01:37:33,582 --> 01:37:36,665
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1491
01:37:36,665 --> 01:37:39,415
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1492
01:37:40,790 --> 01:37:41,749
We'll talk at home.
1493
01:37:43,415 --> 01:37:44,332
Mimenta!
1494
01:37:44,957 --> 01:37:47,540
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1495
01:37:51,165 --> 01:37:52,915
I thought he'd never leave.
1496
01:37:54,624 --> 01:37:57,624
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1497
01:37:59,165 --> 01:38:00,165
However...
1498
01:38:00,832 --> 01:38:02,040
I lost my heart.
1499
01:38:02,790 --> 01:38:03,874
Now, now.
1500
01:38:04,374 --> 01:38:06,624
Well then, where's my little heart?
1501
01:38:09,624 --> 01:38:10,707
Bankruptis, look.
1502
01:38:11,290 --> 01:38:13,040
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1503
01:38:13,957 --> 01:38:15,040
Classy!
1504
01:38:21,999 --> 01:38:22,832
One more plate.
1505
01:38:22,832 --> 01:38:24,957
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1506
01:38:25,957 --> 01:38:27,749
- I won't crack.
- Silly me.
1507
01:38:29,124 --> 01:38:30,707
Still don't miss it?
1508
01:38:31,207 --> 01:38:32,332
Not at all.
1509
01:38:32,832 --> 01:38:33,832
Honestly...
1510
01:38:34,332 --> 01:38:35,499
the smell is vile.
1511
01:38:36,790 --> 01:38:38,707
There are still triggers, though.
1512
01:38:39,665 --> 01:38:41,915
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1513
01:38:43,374 --> 01:38:44,374
Hi, Obelix.
1514
01:38:45,082 --> 01:38:45,915
Panacea.
1515
01:38:46,957 --> 01:38:47,874
I'm interrupting?
1516
01:38:48,915 --> 01:38:50,165
I can see I am.
1517
01:38:50,832 --> 01:38:51,999
You ignore me now.
1518
01:38:53,415 --> 01:38:54,624
Are the rumours true?
1519
01:38:54,624 --> 01:38:56,082
You and Ka Ra Tay?
1520
01:38:57,082 --> 01:38:57,999
Seriously?
1521
01:38:57,999 --> 01:39:00,207
Long-distance relationships don't work.
1522
01:39:00,207 --> 01:39:02,165
Honestly, her there, you here...
1523
01:39:02,165 --> 01:39:03,082
And I'm here.
1524
01:39:03,665 --> 01:39:06,374
Waiting for you for months, worried sick,
1525
01:39:06,374 --> 01:39:07,915
and you fall in love?
1526
01:39:08,790 --> 01:39:09,957
Don't you love me?
1527
01:39:10,874 --> 01:39:12,249
Is that a yes or a no?
1528
01:39:12,249 --> 01:39:13,582
You wanted me.
1529
01:39:14,082 --> 01:39:15,332
Is it a yes or a no?
1530
01:39:15,332 --> 01:39:17,374
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1531
01:39:17,374 --> 01:39:18,457
Panacea...
1532
01:39:19,749 --> 01:39:20,624
Don't bother.
1533
01:39:20,624 --> 01:39:23,499
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1534
01:39:25,290 --> 01:39:27,415
It's time for me to do the same.
1535
01:39:27,415 --> 01:39:28,457
Nothing personal.
1536
01:39:29,540 --> 01:39:30,582
Excuse me...
1537
01:39:31,415 --> 01:39:32,374
You're nuts.
1538
01:39:34,165 --> 01:39:35,457
But I'd...
1539
01:41:59,249 --> 01:42:00,207
Good, wasn't it?
1540
01:42:00,707 --> 01:42:02,457
Everyone had a great time.
1541
01:42:04,207 --> 01:42:05,415
Yes, a fine feast.
1542
01:42:08,415 --> 01:42:10,624
So Ka Ra Tay has gone home?
1543
01:42:10,624 --> 01:42:12,540
Sure. It's a long ride.
1544
01:42:14,582 --> 01:42:16,207
She said I'm her true love.
1545
01:42:17,415 --> 01:42:18,415
Did she?
1546
01:42:19,082 --> 01:42:19,915
Wonderful.
1547
01:42:21,082 --> 01:42:22,207
Even so...
1548
01:42:22,790 --> 01:42:23,707
she didn't stay?
1549
01:42:23,707 --> 01:42:25,540
She'd have loved to, but...
1550
01:42:26,040 --> 01:42:29,290
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1551
01:42:30,165 --> 01:42:31,790
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1552
01:42:32,290 --> 01:42:33,124
As grown-ups.
1553
01:42:34,249 --> 01:42:35,082
As grown-ups?
1554
01:42:35,665 --> 01:42:36,499
Yes.
1555
01:42:39,040 --> 01:42:40,624
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1556
01:42:46,165 --> 01:42:47,499
One for the road?
1557
01:42:47,499 --> 01:42:49,374
I wouldn't say no.
1558
01:42:58,665 --> 01:42:59,790
My chum!
1559
01:43:15,749 --> 01:43:16,832
{\an8}THE END
1560
01:43:16,832 --> 01:43:19,290
{\an8}For Ren� Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1561
01:44:18,749 --> 01:44:20,290
You don't want me to sing?
1562
01:44:25,249 --> 01:44:26,540
I'm gonna sing anyway
1563
01:44:28,624 --> 01:44:30,415
You don't want me to sing?
1564
01:44:32,165 --> 01:44:34,124
You don't want me to sing
1565
01:44:34,124 --> 01:44:35,374
The surprise!
1566
01:44:35,374 --> 01:44:37,124
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1567
01:44:39,832 --> 01:44:42,707
So what is it? My voice or just me?
1568
01:44:42,707 --> 01:44:45,332
So is it me or my voice?
1569
01:44:46,332 --> 01:44:49,249
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1570
01:44:49,249 --> 01:44:50,999
Or is it just me?
1571
01:44:51,749 --> 01:44:54,457
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1572
01:44:55,749 --> 01:44:57,499
Don't do this, don't do that
1573
01:44:57,499 --> 01:45:00,332
Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it
1574
01:45:00,332 --> 01:45:03,249
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1575
01:45:28,415 --> 01:45:29,874
Caesar said,
1576
01:45:29,874 --> 01:45:31,999
"I want it gleaming when I get back."
1577
01:45:32,832 --> 01:45:33,915
So buff!
1578
01:45:34,749 --> 01:45:35,999
Buff, buff, buff!
1579
01:45:38,415 --> 01:45:39,624
That's the spirit!
1580
01:45:43,040 --> 01:45:44,290
You keep Gaul.
1581
01:45:44,290 --> 01:45:46,374
I take China, rest of the world.
1582
01:45:46,374 --> 01:45:47,749
It'll go gangbusters.
1583
01:45:47,749 --> 01:45:50,040
Take it or leave it right now.
1584
01:45:50,624 --> 01:45:52,165
What might go gangbusters?
1585
01:45:52,165 --> 01:45:54,040
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1586
01:45:54,040 --> 01:45:55,832
Top-notch merchants like me,
1587
01:45:55,832 --> 01:45:58,624
we read your lips
even five kilometers away.
1588
01:45:58,624 --> 01:46:00,624
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1589
01:46:00,624 --> 01:46:02,915
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1590
01:46:04,999 --> 01:46:07,874
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1591
01:46:07,874 --> 01:46:10,374
So just send him a message.
1592
01:46:10,374 --> 01:46:13,499
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1593
01:46:13,499 --> 01:46:16,165
It's in the bag. The rascal will be back.
1594
01:46:17,165 --> 01:46:20,040
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1595
01:46:22,999 --> 01:46:25,915
Flat out. You got a pigeon charger?
1596
01:46:26,499 --> 01:46:28,415
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1597
01:46:29,707 --> 01:46:31,499
With an Egyptian connector!
1598
01:46:32,290 --> 01:46:33,624
Why Egyptian?
1599
01:46:44,749 --> 01:46:47,249
Are you done making a ruckus?
1600
01:46:47,832 --> 01:46:49,499
We're trying to sleep!
1601
01:46:55,124 --> 01:46:56,040
Sorry.
1602
01:47:00,040 --> 01:47:01,874
Goodnight!
1603
01:47:01,874 --> 01:47:04,124
Goodnight, little Gauls!
1604
01:50:32,957 --> 01:50:35,165
EXCELLENTCOM
1605
01:50:38,165 --> 01:50:42,165
Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com
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