Original subtitles

My name is Sebastian, and yeah,

that's me when my mother used to dress me for preschool

like I was going to Studio 54.

Like most American stories,

mine starts a long time ago

on another continent,

specifically

the magical.

Island of Sicilia.

A lot of folks like to call Sicily the big ball

in front of the Buddha Italy,

which makes

sense because the world's been trying to kick our ass since the dawn of time.

For generations my people have been threatened by wars,

volcanoes and testicle crushing

speedos.

But we survived it all through one unstoppable force.

Family.

These are actual photos of my Sicilian ancestors.

Note the signature Maniscalco look with the curved spines

and the resting bitch face

like a bunch of pissed off candy canes.

Over the past few centuries,

these proud hunchback men have operated with one goal,

to

do everything you can to give your kids a better life

than the one you had.

For my father, this meant leaving his beloved Sicily for Chicago

so he and my mother

could give me opportunities they never got.

Like shovel and snow growing up we youthful mullet

and going to the prom looking like

a pit boss.

Growing up, my father busted his hump

to instilling me certain rules

of how a man should

operate.

Like, if you're awake, you should be working.

Question is, Manali heart, you gotta get in there, son.

I don't pay you by the hour, I pay you by the moon.

Guy with the ponytail.

That's my dad.

Did I mention he owns a salon?

The man comes from a long line of Sicilian hair stylists.

And don't you dare call him a Barber.

This man doesn't just cut hair, he creates styles.

It's beautiful.

See, I told you I'd cheekbones.

Under there, you just lose.

Michelangelo.

Digger, man.

Child labour laws were definitely broken.

But on the bright side,

I had the most realistic Chewbacca costume

in the history of

Halloween.

He taught me to always save your money.

No apps, no dessert,

and if you don't finish your main

you're paying for your own birthday

dinner.

And to be resourceful,

you want me to buy a skateboard I built.

You understand?

Next year, I'm going to build you one of those Nintendos.

But one exception.

Cologne never cheap out on your signature son

at bedtime.

Our house smelled like an Uber in Las Vegas.

The only time I saw my father smile

is when we did the chicken dance for my mother.

To me, this man was a God

and it was all working out great

until I grew up and fell for someone who was my complete

opposite.

Her name?

Was Ellie.

I mean, look at this girl, this style, the positivity, personality.

Yeah, this is my dream woman.

The bathroom.

Ah, so sorry.

I'm like this guy's charged him 15 dockless reveal

a parked at 9 blocks away.

Wait a minute, if you park that far away,

how are you so dry you sweat

just getting the

mounts?

You want one?

Yeah.

You know, everyone's done.

I should So fancy food of it opening.

And I was like, name one person that doesn't like a hot dog

and

she's an artist.

I mean, growing up, I wasn't even allowed to do it as a hobby.

So how's the show going?

Oh my God.

Freaking amazing.

Ohh.

My piece is sold out in like 15 minutes.

That's incredible.

No, right.

I mean, most of them went to this big decorator,

but they have clients all over the world.

I'm not complaining.

Ohh, you shouldn't.

Especially because they look kind of like you know.

Vagina.

Well, you know, if you just hang them horizontally.

They kind of look like sunsets.

Ohh yeah, right.

Since the day I met her,

she's been opening my eyes

to all kinds of new experiences,

like naps here.

The sun is coming through drips and beauty treatments.

That stuff looking good.

Wait, are you mad?

1342 years to discover avocado masks and last but not least.

Smiling.

OK.

Not natural.

That's That's not particularly natural.

But I you know what I think?

I think we just have to build these facial muscles.

So you just gotta practise.

Look at that.

That's right.

You look great.

Yeah, life with Allie was pretty perfect.

I don't think I could participate.

That's just ridiculous.

You promise I'll come on A public wedding proposals in Paris?

Think it's sweet.

When I proposed to you, It's gonna be intimate.

Just you and me the way it should be.

No one else.

Proposed.

You just said when I proposed approaches, I'm angry.

Words are just flying out of my mouth.

Well, just so you know,

the only way I will say yes

is if there is some element of public

humiliation involved.

That's what you send the relationship right now.

So we ain't doing that.

Ohh, we're not.

I'm not going.

But you're looking at these pace, Ellie.

I kind of need your help right now, right?

Dude, we are.

The truth was,

I had every intention of asking Allie to marry me.

I just needed the right place and time.

Yeah.

I see a guy.

I see you.

All right, pick it up.

Thank you.

Take a walk.

I'm on the phone with my parents and get this.

They're inviting us.

Out to the summer place for the big 4th of July weekend.

Baby, did you say us?

Us.

I thought this trip was for family only.

No, I mean, I'm so torn between thinking this is great news

or that I might be dragging

you into an Italian version of Get out.

I'm not sure.

Well, yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Mother.

Yes.

I'm asking him right now.

Please hold.

Yeah, he's a man crying.

That means it's a yes.

Yes.

I'm gonna keep the tissues.

So excited.

So yeah, I'm a big crier.

I love to just marinate my own tears,

but this was a huge deal.

Alice Summer Place wasn't just the perfect spot to propose,

it also meant her family

was starting to accept me.

Which was amazing because.

How do I put this out equally?

These people got class up the ass.

I mean, look at these people with their perfect postures

and their perfect teeth.

Even their dog went to better schools than I did.

I was intimidated,

which really didn't make any sense as their story

was also an immigrant

story.

For some reason theirs was considered more respectable

as it started 400 years ago.

Now this is an actual painting of Ellie's 10th great grandfather.

William Love Collins taking his family to America

on a little boat called the Mayflower.

You got it.

That one.

So while my father came to chase the American dream,

the Collins were the American dream

all the way up to Ellie's dad,

William Love Collins the 12th.

Only Italian guys I know with Roman numerals

after their names are Popes and Rocky Balboa.

Her dad is the chairman and CEO of the luxurious Collins Hotel Group,

which was awkward

as I happened to run a cool new boutique hotel

which was still in a lot of the Chicago

business.

Bottom line, his baby girl was dating the enemy.

But Bill wasn't even the scary parent.

That honour belonged to Ellie's mother,

whose actual birth name was Tiger MacArthur.

Play You don't know anything about me and this kid.

He's got claws as an Ivy League grad

turned senator for the state of Maryland.

It took her a long time to wrap her mind

around her beloved daughter dating

some working

class hotel manager.

How could I be anti immigrant when my daughter is dating the son of 1?

But this invite met.

I was finally breaking through.

A holiday weekend was my chance to charm the pleated pants off these people,

and if all

went well, I could ask for their daughter's hand in marriage.

So I had the girl I wanted to marry,

the perfect spot to propose to her.

And now I just needed the ring, which should have been easy to get.

I'll come on.

What do you mean, not going to give me the ring round the left it

for me to use when

I'm ready to get married.

Your grandmother left it with me

to make sure you just don't give it away to some Cortana.

That's what your grandmother did.

You come out of the garden so we could talk about this.

They're back, They're back.

They're messing with my girl, Goose.

Forget the good boots, they're the regular.

Can I have it?

You know, I don't know about this girl.

I gotta tell you, I'm not sure about it.

She put her feet up on my coffee table.

I don't know who put your feet up on your coffee.

My coffee table.

My feet.

What do you take this well?

What bites with rabbits?

You gotta be kidding me.

OK, here we are.

It's a possible possum.

Dead, dead.

Dead.

Gone.

Gone from this Earth.

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to set a trap.

I'm going to get my antifreeze my little.

When I was a kid, I thought everything

my dad did was normal.

There's some string beans went missing.

I'd wake up to a yard full of poison.

Squirrels, birds, chipmunks,

basically anything that ever helps Cinderella get dressed,

murdered in our backyard.

Could you just admit that Ali is not some butana?

I love her.

You love her.

Just give me the ring so I could propose.

You're really serious about this?

Yeah, Dad, She's the one.

She's the one.

Yeah.

OK, son.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to give you a ring.

Thank you.

But first I got to be the family.

What?

Why?

Why?

Things like collaboration only, Malato.

That's fine.

The hell does that mean you've got no respect for your roots?

You don't eat the fruit

and you make sure the tree ain't sick.

Put tradition.

I need to look at the mother and the father's eyes.

It to look them in the eyes to make sure there's no rot.

Because there could be right now that there is.

But there could.

That you know your mind.

People.

Yeah.

The fancier, the dirtier.

You never know what's going on.

They don't live anywhere near here.

At least that's the mobile phone.

Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime.

This is an important moment.

FaceTime.

Zoom.

What are you crazy?

I wanna do this next weekend

at their at their family's house in the country.

Well, hold on, hold on.

This is the first summer

since we have to say goodbye to you poor dear mother.

And you're going to leave me alone for God damn 4th of July.

Well, it's just that you know,

her family invited me to their summer house.

What is summer home?

Ohh, most people got one home,

but they got them for different seasons.

Oh that's nice.

And so they got more money than us.

Plus, it's just for one weekend.

Ohh well, weekend, he says one weekend.

50 years ago I come to this country to give you a better life.

50 years ago I skip every weekend as Sicily for you.

I joined the US Army to protect your freedoms.

And what thanks do I get?

You go celebrate the 4th of July with some of the families,

even me, to burn the sparklers

and eat hot dogs alone.

Hello.

Thank you.

This is incredible.

Cortana, I did a Crystal Calls on the appropriate spots.

Proper space shuttle.

Wait, what do you mean you're not coming?

I can't leave my father.

The 4th of July was their favourite holiday

because of his military background.

No, it's the only holiday.

You don't have to buy a gift.

I'm sorry, Ellie.

We'll just do it some other time.

Why don't we just bring him?

What?

I mean, if he.

Not support.

He's gonna flip out at her place.

There's all kinds of fun family activities,

there's fireworks,

there's even a huge clambake

with tonnes of fresh fish.

Fish.

Kind of perfect.

My father's getting a close up look at my new life

while I was trying to seal the deal

with Ellie's parents.

What an incredible idea.

Nah, I don't think so.

I should probably just stay here with him.

Come on.

We want our families to finally meet.

Why is your voice going up like that?

What's going on?

Are you?

Being nervous to break him?

Nervous.

Ohh no, no, no.

Alright, fine.

Don't bring him.

Don't come.

Don't have fun.

Sorry.

Alright, maybe I was a little scared

to bring my father into a Country Club environment

where he seen me playing racket sports,

riding around and golf carts and taking naps,

But I also knew that stubborn bastard

wouldn't give me the ring without a face to face

meeting.

Fine, you win.

I'll ask him.

Man, get all excited.

I'll even say yes, she I'm coming.

Wait, seriously.

Of course I'm coming.

Spend the whole weekend alone,

just the two of us in house burning the sparklers and

eating hot dogs?

Yeah, I'm coming.

That's the same example you used to guilt trip me into macro.

Can I say?

Got away with words.

All right, listen, if we're going to do this, dad,

you got to be on your best behaviour.

What do you mean, my best behaviour?

The the family is uptight.

They're not used to the whole all online, so.

If you were the son of telling me the father how to behave.

You hear this?

Just remember the main goals for you to meet the family

so I can get the ring and propose

to Ellie.

It's not for you to price cheque their antique coffee table.

Come on already.

I mean, how fast you're gonna stupid coffee table be.

I don't know, Dan.

All I'm asking is dial it down with it.

This is.

What is this?

Look at them.

Look at them.

Dial it down with all of this and that.

You know what he's worried about?

He's worried his immigrant father's gonna make him look like some kind of Goomba.

Let me tell you something.

You don't remember this because I'm your dad.

But a lot of people find me charming.

That's right.

Right, right.

Ladies at least stuck up.

Rich people.

They got a word for me.

I remember.

It's obnoxious.

Cologne.

No, No.

Refreshing.

He's refreshing.

He's so aboriginal.

I've heard that all the time, you know?

Then I promise you, all these parents could love me.

I don't know about you, but they don't love me.

Ladies, better get your dudes done by Thursday,

because the Maniscalco men, they're going

on vacation.

Each worried this kid is worried I'm not.

We don't get smoke here.

Blood.

Not much can be spent.

got us some luxury sedan for the price of a compact.

That's nice, but make you wonder

how much the compact you could have got for

and I took

the compact price and you had it on the House.

Maybe the bag?

Yeah.

Like 3 hours?

Yeah.

You guys looking for a ride?

Oh my God.

Ohh no.

Who's that ex-boyfriend.

First brother?

While I've made progress with Ellie's parents,

I'd yet to make any with the older brother.

His name was William Love Collins the 13th.

So everybody called this guy Lucky, and that's exactly what he was.

After graduating from Princeton,

back when you could bribe your kid into college, Lucky

was on deck to take over the hotel group

while working as a client liaison gentleman

who's ready to go hunt some endangered species.

I'm just kidding.

Unless you guys are down, I can figure something out.

This man travelling around the world

entertaining wealthy clients with all the rich kid

hobbies he had time to master.

We're talking skiing.

Snowboarding sucks yachting.

All the Country Club sports Looks like I gotta change my shoes

because I'm on the dance

floor.

What?

But I'd say his overall best skill was being a prick.

Areas I see you're still banging the bellboy walk.

I'm only joking.

Best combo styles?

Not much.

You must be Sebastian's brother's father.

S how are you?

No way.

Seriously, that's crazy.

Oh, let me go to you guys.

I'm an Angel investor in this new Anti Ageing Skin Cream for Men

and I'm I'll be a client.

This guy was ready to saddle up.

Let's go.

Ohh chopper time.

I don't think this is such a good idea.

You know, guys, come on, trust me,

The helicopter takes 20 minutes and the views are

magical.

Are you with me?

Come on, let's have some fun.

You are clear for take off.

Roger that Roger dude,

since Roger we got a super hot wife.

If you guys look up to your left,

you'll see the beautiful Roanoke River.

Baby look.

Sample.

It's nice, right?

Might be, ma'am.

That's fine.

OK.

Ohh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I got it.

I got it.

Had a couple too many G&T?

He's kidding.

The air don't work.

Not done.

It works.

It works

OK only a couple of minutes.

It's just a little warm bath.

We got a problem here.

We got a problem.

Oh my God really.

I can't breathe.

Take a bite out of the lemon.

Help with the noise?

Don't worry,

I'll cut it into pieces.

Hold on, we got a knife.

He's got a knife.

I've cut the lemon 32nd.

Track on that lemon suck just suck suck suck suck.

Do not vomit my bird.

Just breathe in through the nose.

Suck it.

Just suck it.

Suck the lemon.

I think we should turn around and freaking out.

You can't

bring it down.

We're coming back.

I knew I should have forced him to join the army.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laugh it up, laugh it up, guys.

OK, gentlemen, welcome to White Oak.

Paul.

Ohh boy.

OK, so that's the golf course

and then the tennis courts are back down there.

I'll probably look right there.

That's my childhood Fort.

We go there whenever I needed to get away from my family.

So basically all the time I wish I had one.

Oh my God.

It's Sergeant Feathers in his family.

What is the what are you doing?

What are you Is this saying she's crazy?

Be careful.

Get back in the car.

They're gonna eat you alive.

Ohh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're so beautiful.

So how much a Peacock costs anyway, Don't answer that.

I didn't know they had Peacocks in Virginia.

Ohh Well my grandfather brought 2 here decades ago,

but they didn't like their cages

so he decided to let them run free.

And now they pretty much just become the official mascots of our club.

Well they're bad luck.

if you ask me.

I don't like them.

They could have been more like a chicken or pigeon.

They just has fancy fenders so all of a sudden it gets more respect.

Hey guys, we're here.

Welcome to our house.

But get this.

I'm kidding me.

Which is like this course.

I love what the price is, right?

It's about Barker, the vaccine.

Ohh, Ellie Belly.

You know, looking back at this, my dad had to be overwhelmed.

And his own hands.

Yeah, it's called love and affection.

Then I, like you, wouldn't let me in the delivery room.

What else was I supposed to do?

Guys, come on.

Sebastian.

Hi.

Nice to see you.

Pleasure.

Well, you guys, so good to see you.

And you must be the charming salvage.

It's almost defying.

Take that.

It's just last week I was checking out your highlights on TV.

The fox ones?

is just like a black mamba and want to see

my tools into it.

We're gonna hit some old shadow.

Now tell me this,

Do you think I'm too old

to pull off a set of frosted tips?

Frosted tips.

Good one, Sir.

Solid gold.

Alright, I'm gonna hit the links.

Why don't you come inside and we'll give you the Grand Tour.

Don't worry about the bags, Wendell.

We'll take care of them.

That's a pretty big dog you got there.

Ohh, that's new.

We don't get too rough with him because we're afraid he'll kill us.

He's so big.

This is our house.

Ohh, this is our youngest son, Doug.

He's practising his sound balls.

Was that all was well?

Now Sound Ball is it's actually, it's an instrument.

It puts out this, this vibration

that relieves stress

and promotes relaxation.

He's he's learning to be a healer.

But we're we're just so proud of him.

You're so loud, Dad.

Ohh.

Sorry, sorry.

I'm gonna close the Playboy play.

Play to soothe the savage beast

where you don't have to shut them.

Wow, this house is amazing.

This is nothing.

You should see the place in aspirin.

Well, it's just.

The love this cocktail name all with something bastion.

Good eye.

The first commercial coal mine in the country

was right down the road from here

and this

piece is made out of the wood from one of the original mine cars

drenched in history

for edged good for you were using little wood like that.

This guy always gets on me about picking up trash

and putting into the house trash.

It's crazy stuff that people throw away these days

and it should be as painful and right

so I'm.

I take it?

Yes, yes, that is so true actually, though we did pay for this one.

King's ransom, if I must say,

but at least it's too rickety to put drinks on.

Worse.

You know ohh I'm good for you hanging up your kids artwork like that.

You know these these are.

Original Grandma Moses.

And I believe it.

We found them.

I'm sorry.

But no disrespect, I had no idea what was the matter.

Island.

Ohh this hungry for lunch I am.

We could all go down to the shows.

What a great idea.

Sweet.

Wow, that's This club is huge, though.

The way you were describing it,

I expected a place where they're serving grilled cheese

on a little window, you know?

Yes, I suppose they've fixed it up over the years,

but to us it will always be there.

This place was built by slaves, Douglas.

But I'm not allowed to tell the truth now.

How are we supposed to confront our problems

if we don't talk about it then?

No, it's true.

It's true the some of the the history down here

is just it's brutal.

It's just unthinkable.

It's not on the menu,

but you can order the club sandwich with lobster.

You know I can't even bring my girlfriend here

because I'm ashamed.

She's an African person.

See.

Is a person emailing you from Africa

and to whom you are sending back money.

We have yet to confirm whether she's a girl or a friend.

Keep me safe from negative energy.

Hi everyone.

Welcome to White Oak.

What can I get you guys?

Ohh.

No bread, please.

Do you have those crackers?

The seedy ones, Of course.

Do you have?

Does anyone want in on this?

Ever since I've had kombucha,

my BMS have been completely regular.

I've had no problem.

I remember Douglas, we don't talk about our BMS at the table.

Before I was drinking kombucha.

My faeces looked like ripped little pieces of paper.

And then after I started drinking their long soft plugs.

Well, all right.

Thank you for that.

Do you know what you want, Sebastian?

The cop salad.

Good choice.

What do you One of my sorority sisters?

So what?

Is that all you're going to get?

You're not going to get us started.

I'm just going to stick with the middle.

In a minute, Alright, Sit yourself.

What are you going to get?

The the BLC with the onion rings, but what's the price on that dish?

Ohh, I know we don't sell this Amazon.

Very silly, but we don't like to put prices on things

because it's just an annoying reminder

of money, right?

Ohh,

so everything's for free.

No, it is not free.

I wish it weren't.

So what would I do?

They believe they make up a price.

Well, then it's pumps on.

I'm talking to Bill here.

Are you Bill?

Hello.

Bill

is fine.

Everything has a sad prize.

And then they just said tally it up at the end of the week.

Put it on my bill and it's it's taken care of.

God.

OK, got it.

Well, Gloria, I would just love to chat with somebody who knows the prices.

Please, please.

It would be our pleasure to treat you.

I would love that.

And thank you to you.

But I think you're doing way, way, way, way too much already.

We are putting this up in your home.

That's enough already.

We we want.

We should not pay for the meal.

That a big deal.

I know it's not a big deal.

I'll make a big deal.

That's alright.

Don't worry about it.

It's OK.

So don't worry.

Just do me a favour.

Find out how much it is for the BLT once you get again.

It's the carb salad.

Cup salad.

Please, please.

No.

We'll take care of it.

We will be so much easier if you just let them.

Let him pay.

I don't know what you're so upset about.

I mean, I'm a working guy.

I like to pay my own way.

I don't want on anybody anything.

I'm upset because you're supposed to be getting to know Ellie's family

and instead you

made a big scene.

So what?

Who cares?

These people are strange.

Yeah, you think they are.

They are strange.

Are you kidding me?

They want to take a break from thinking about money.

Where I come from, that's called dying.

It's a different life, but you still got to try.

I just don't know.

Sebastian, I gotta tell you,

I don't know how you're gonna fit in.

It ain't normal.

I mean, your mother and me, we didn't raise you this way.

So, yeah, you raised me to marry an Italian who shouts

when she's happy and grows hair

in places I didn't even know could grow.

So what?

That's a real woman.

Your mother was a real woman who put real food on the table.

That's somebody who refuses a bread basket.

All right, then.

Even I have to admit the crackers were awful.

It's like emergency.

I don't know whether they eat them with my hands or just walk around and.

Exactly.

You notice how they tried to downplay how fancy it is?

Excuse me, I'm looking at this.

Excuse me.

I got eyes.

I could see.

Hello.

They walk around saying, ohh, yes,

the house is 60,000 square feet with 13 bedrooms,

but we like it because it's cosy

and they do the opposite with the furniture.

They make it sound more important than it really is.

It can't just be like a regular chair.

It's got to have like a whole back story.

And this is the chair Thomas Jefferson said.

And when he signed the Treaty of.

Who the hell cares for the toilets?

Were able.

Lincoln took a dump.

There's a plaque right there.

Ohh.

They had a place for his hat in there too.

I don't know if I'm in the house or in the museum.

So tell us what's new in Chicago.

Because they are,

yes.

It's great.

All my pieces from my last show sold out at the opening.

Something to crow about.

Now that you're getting all these contacts,

you could probably work from anywhere.

Right.

That's no Sebastian.

I love living in Chicago.

Ohh, let me miss having you there.

Indeed.

See you really do.

We really do.

These cheeks are respond to kiss on FaceTime.

Where's my

excuse me, excuse me?

You guys aren't supposed to be talking during his own.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

No, no.

This is.

This is wonderful.

Please keep bathing us in sound.

Yes.

Go with you.

Yeah.

Listen, we're here because I want to marry Ellie.

So it don't matter how it works with these people.

It works with her.

So come on tomorrow, please.

Can you give these people a chance?

Got it?

Got it.

No problem.

No problem.

Because at the end of the day, son, it's your life.

Michael.

Pink sheets what?

OK, I think we're in a dollhouse.

Mom, Dad, I would love to live closer.

You know that, but.

Sebastian has his dad.

And a great job working for the damn Hiltons.

Such a good gig.

Do you still have to have herpes to work there?

The point that you for that is that he loves it

and I couldn't just ask him to leave.

Sure.

But that house that you guys live in, it's so crazy.

I mean, the pharmacist, you don't go on vacation

because they're working and all that

Cologne they made my chopper smell like a Nordstroms.

And it When you guys gang up on me like this,

it's not fair.

And like it or not, Mom.

Dad.

Sebastian and I are very happy together and we're staying in Chicago.

I'm sorry, Dougie.

Open chakras like this.

I'm I'm gonna go call my girlfriend.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Ohh shit.

Bitcoins down.

Well, you look at us walking through a gated community

as guests,

not groundskeepers.

Just hope nothing gets stolen this weekend,

because these people love to blame the immigrants.

Look at this one.

Look at this one.

What she did.

Take the gym equipment home.

Hello, people.

Day, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's also a problem.

Cheerful.

Bringing me a break.

She's happy, Dad.

She probably had a father that let her sleep in past 5:45.

I mean, I can't stop thinking about how much work I'm missing.

I could have done 4 dies of a perm right now.

2 electric because I could have paid 2.

Hello.

Right.

Just talking about she's in a virtual bank.

Can't believe this.

We don't.

These people have jobs.

That's a holiday weekend.

Plus they got their money in the stock market,

that mayonnaise jars buried in their backyard.

Just relax.

Come on, Dad, It's a beautiful day.

What?

Back and forth, back and forth, we play this game.

The outfits, The wives with the kudos hanging out for everybody to see.

And when they hit a ball, it sounds like they have an orgasm.

They hitting the ball.

Come on.

The only reason I agreed the play

is so you could spend some time with Bill.

So just relax and do what we came to do.

Yeah, yeah, relax.

Look, I got sandals on.

Relax.

You look like the guy who killed John Wick's dog.

Who's that?

So Ellie tells me you're quite the player.

Couple lessons, we'll get ready to bring it.

I love my family everywhere

except on the tennis courts test box.

That's uncomfortable.

Let's do this.

Mom.

You ready?

Yeah.

It's time for times, baby.

For a bill that Yeah.

So how long you been in the hotel business as well?

50 years, long time my whole life, you know.

It's a, it's a I guess it's a pretty exciting thing to do.

I love it.

I love it.

I got, I got hotel, I got, I got hotels in my blood.

Just like you have hair in your blood, right?

I mean.

Governments, Because here comes the heat.

Oh my God, sorry.

What the hell was that, Sebastian?

Ellie told me You had game.

I've got, I got kicked out of Harbour for playing the sax.

I know it's a long story, but my dad, he got mad.

He said that's it.

You make it on your own.

He gave me one H1.

Yeah, that's impressive.

Well.

My father gave me a mule.

Next Day had died.

Ohh God, put the microphone in the pot and cook it.

What's that, Doug?

It's an adult colouring book.

Hey man, you want to take a break for some more water

or some more tennis lessons?

Life is going on.

You love tennis and it's like you're not even trying out here, Mom.

It's just a game.

Well.

Alright, at least take off this stupid tracksuit.

You must be sweating.

You're not cold.

Wait a second, are you embarrassed to play because your dad is watching?

Listen, he's not the biggest fan of sports like this,

and I don't really feel like going

over there and explaining to him

that I'm paying a guy to teach me how to play.

You should know that my mother was not a big fan of losing either.

Yeah, yeah.

Listen, at least, she stopped, chest bumping me.

The only breasts I want to feel his family are yours.

Not if you lose.

Sebastian, did Ellie ever tell you

about the guy she dated during her semester abroad

in Scotland?

Sorry.

Never lost a match with him on my team.

Wonder what he's up to?

Hey, you know what?

I'll play it by weekend.

Is that what you guys have?

Like a shot?

Is that cool, mom?

Until then, my nightmare

had been letting my father see me enjoy this life.

It's like the kick serve I learned from a Swedish pro named Johannes.

This would be the point of no.

Lovely.

One day.

You see this?

This is a game you could pick up fast.

Not at this level.

I, I Sebastian he's he's, he's got game.

Must be very proud.

Oh.

OK.

Are you OK?

No, I'm not OK.

So sorry.

What?

Ohh.

So it was an accident.

Get a small cup of ice water for his testing.

Sweetheart.

It's nice and cool my future.

No, no, no, no, no.

Squeeze, sweetie.

And when you want to play tennis like that?

It's not that big of a deal.

You know when you get that question,

you always give them the parent price for that.

You're telling me you pay the price for long hair blowout

for somebody to teach you a

game?

I mean, what am I going to say now?

Just imagine how he'd react if I told him the actual price was 80.

This thing I know you'll be serving me the bird craft.

Some familiar bird practise?

Come on.

It's a hobby that a lot of people have done.

Alright, stop acting like I'm joining a cult.

What is it called?

Welcome everyone to the S Collins.

Fun fact, I won this vote playing backgammon

with Sir Richard Branson.

So for us, every voyage is a Virgin one.

Now Bill and I have been talking

and we were gonna wait till the weekend to do this,

but now we're just too excited.

As a lifelong hotelier

and the father of the most wonderful girl in the world,

I have

to say he had just killed me.

Killed us.

We are dead thinking that you are working for our biggest competitor.

So go on.

Yeah, right now, OK.

On behalf of the Collins Hotel Group,

I would love you to join our side

and become the

new face of the luxurious 5 star experience that is Drumroll.

The Barrymore Hotel.

Yeah, not kidding.

Seriously.

This is your signature property,

the most prestigious hotel in DC?

Yeah, it better be.

We just spent $240 million restoring it.

Dan, I thought you were saying that job for me.

We regularly drug test.

Oh, OK.

Mom, Dad, this is so generous.

We wouldn't do this if we didn't think he was perfect for the job.

Come on, let's go get somewhere.

We'll take a look.

Let's let's take a look at what you're going

to be the new manager of now.

This is built in 1996.

Been completely restored down to the Danes and the door knobs.

Take a look.

Yeah, no.

Just getting the blood flowing.

Your faces get a little red.

Yeah, I I feel dizzy.

Yeah, me too.

Ohh, that's the Jackie.

She was never there.

This this painting in the lobby here looks.

Yes, we there's there's there's art.

We have.

Yeah.

I recognise that sunset.

Did you buy paintings?

Did she know we bought a few through this designer that we know.

We're we're supporting our baby's dream.

Let's see.

Ohh good.

I'll have some.

What are you thinking?

Yeah, well, that's a very generous offer,

but Sebastian obviously has to think about

that, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

Of course this would be a big move for everyone,

so please take your.

Talk it over, right, and then tell us what data is.

Then the moving drugs.

Ohh, this is so cool.

So cool.

Hey, as a possible member of our

family company, how about we celebrate with little Jeff booting?

Ohh, that sounds great man.

Come in.

Whoa.

This is amazing, Rocky.

You're looking too.

Feel like a fly.

Ohh actually smiled.

The smile is real.

Selco, would you like to borrow some swim trunks?

We have a hot tub upstairs.

I'm fine.

Hey.

I just wanted to thank you for looking after Ellie and Chicago.

We feel so lucky she's met your son.

He's a good kid.

Something in there?

I know you guys are closed, so if they do end up in DC.

We will take good care of him.

I wouldn't get your hopes up.

because I'm the only families.

I used to say the same thing about Ella.

Hey Dad, cheque it out like you guys.

Look at her, she's very athletic.

He's quite good.

He gets it from my side.

Look around.

Oh my God.

Ohh Shit.

Sebastian, your suit.

It's Versace if you like it.

Ohh you moron, it's not.

Ohh God mother go.

Nice shrimp.

I can't get it.

Where are you, good man?

What's the matter with you?

Pull up your pants.

I can't miss you.

Son your your sailors at half mast.

Ohh no it looks like it's full mask.

No.

That that is not appropriate.

Honey, my mom cannot see that.

Hey, do that say how to tick tock?

OK.

What the hell you doing?

Packing.

Going back to Chicago tomorrow morning.

What?

Are you crazy?

We're not leaving.

You even give me the ring yet?

Trust me, when I saw today you don't come back from.

Stop being so dramatic.

Nobody saw much.

Yeah, that's for sure.

Look, I know I haven't seen you naked since the delivery room,

but is it possible you

push?

Leno hasn't even grown since then.

Would you put the suitcase away?

Well, I'm gonna bring you home,

search up with some Italian girls,

hope you start over

fresh and even got a nice new hairstyle for you.

Dad, I'm in love with Ellie.

That wouldn't change if I accidentally showed my balls to the entire world.

Is that what you got planned for tomorrow?

because you don't.

I'm not pretending.

Are you serious?

you make a fool of yourself because you raised

me to be afraid of trying anything new.

I mean, God.

because I knew you.

You just sit here and judge what?

Your black shirt, your zipper purse,

your resting bitch face.

Like I don't have resting bitch face.

We look like Italian gargoyles.

You look like you're going to murder the entire neighbourhood.

You know what your problem is?

You're so negative you can't let yourself enjoy anything.

So you think I can either?

Dead Ellie is my future.

And I'm gonna keep an open mind about everything.

Ohh.

You mean everything.

Even a job offer?

Maybe it's a pretty good one.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

First, your mother is taken away from me.

Now you want to leave?

I'm not leaving you, Dad.

At least the best thing that ever happened to me.

And when I get married,

not if her family is going to be a big part of the package.

Now I want you to be a part of my life.

But if that's gonna happen, you gotta give me some effort.

I wanna see the salvo at the salon

that everybody loves.

And if I don't, I got no choice but to leave you behind.

Ohh, how could you say that?

How can you say that?

How how could you say that to your father?

You got no respect for your family.

I got enough respect and all.

We could go to bed angry

but not stinky.

Come on.

Come on, let's do our night spritz.

I miss you and I wish you were here for so many reasons.

So we really just.

For one, just tell me you might be in an asshole.

Are we really doing the right thing for our son?

Just give me some kind of sign something please.

Just let me know what you think.

I.

Can be some cyanide?

I love you.

Hi, Doug.

Ohh, what are you doing?

I was just serenading the Peacocks.

Ohh.

Would you be open enough to doing a healing session with me?

Healing session, It'll be very beneficial for you.

Well, that's a nice offer,

but I I don't know if I even know what you're talking about.

Well, just start by shutting your eyes.

And then really just focus on your breathing and your nose.

Our journals.

And if you can really try to connect to that little salvo.

That was afraid when you were young.

I don't even know where he is anymore.

It's so long ago.

You know, I'm in another.

I'm in another life.

Let me help you find him, OK?

Just stay with your breath.

Be a little silver, OK?

I feel better.

You do?

Yeah.

Thanks.

OK.

I'm gonna go to sleep.

OK.

Thank you.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

I'm glad I could help.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Big thank you.

Big help.

Yesterday was a day of regrettable firsts.

I yelled at my father

and I showed my balls to my future in-laws.

But who knows, maybe everybody forgot.

Well, there's the big swimmer.

Did you see the full moon last night?

Ohh, I'm talking about your butt it.

Ignore him.

His butt cheeks are the full.

Yes, I understand.

How you doing kiddo?

Umm, I'm alright.

Have you seen my dad?

Yes, he is out taking a walk with Ellie,

Doug and Tigger.

I'll walk.

Yes, he was.

He was a well here.

Speak of the devil says

why would I buy you escape

or when I can build you one?

Sleepyhead, I was just telling me about the time

I gave you a skateboard for Christmas.

You remember that?

I remember that, Yeah.

What time did you get up anyway?

I got up early.

I don't want to wake you.

So I snuck out to my Lord.

You watch TV, Fix one of their bannisters,

reorganised the spice rack.

Then when the sun came up, I started making breakfast.

Then I went for a walk to let them know.

The family.

Good people, these comes.

Good people.

Even the commie.

Oh, I'm a socialist.

But whatever you say, Chakrabarti.

No.

What's going on with you?

What's going on?

I'm doing what you asked me to do.

Making an effort like you ask.

No, I appreciate it.

But Jesus.

Assurance.

Yeah.

So what?

I've seen your legs before.

Yeah, you haven't.

That's right.

You're not too bad.

Look like pretzel sticks and socks.

Don't blame me.

This is what these people gave me, you know?

Look, I tell you, I want to get that.

I want to join the fun.

And I feel great that I can't wait to see what the universe suggests

after I open my

eyes.

We did a healing session together.

Yeah, little samples.

Not afraid anymore.

Ohh yeah.

I hope everyone's ready for Family Fun day.

I am Ohh, what's Family Fun Day?

What do you dance?

Everything you need to know is in the name.

Duh duh.

OK, so it's a big 4th of July tradition.

There's relay races and croquet and face painting

and a hot dog eating contest.

Just a lot of fun.

I know I'd asked the man to start making an effort,

but this was crazy.

I felt like I created a monster,

except instead of looking scary,

he was smiling, playing

games, trusting like the American flag.

The Maniscalco.

No angle.

I'm happy with my family.

There's fireworks.

Geez, I like.

Thought you would.

Sticks.

Take a look.

Nice Guys, and the winner of this year's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest

is Savanna

School.

My father was having a great time

and suddenly I was the one who was uncomfortable.

I wanted him to make an effort, not change who he was completely.

There he is, the MVP.

What are you doing checking out your hardware?

I just figured out how these people stay so rich.

They do everything on the cheap.

Yeah, that plastic.

Just enjoy it, will you please?

I mean, you kick some ass out there today

and I think these people are starting to like

you.

Yeah, yeah, come on.

It just being polite.

I'm serious.

Bill even has a signature set now.

Ohh.

Yeah.

What brand?

He won't divulge.

He won't divulge.

Ohh God, I've been looking all over for you.

So my mom just got invited to be on MSNBC in two hours.

That's great.

Yes, well, it would be.

But Tyler, while he's in Sedona and I have no one to do my hair.

So we were thinking maybe you could help her out.

I mean, that's like asking Van Gogh to do a :).

I'd be lying to you if I told you

I didn't have my eyes on your lustrous mate all weekend.

It's nice to finally get my hands up in the air.

I'm very grateful.

Are those?

Cigars.

Yeah.

Can I have one?

Ohh boy.

This day just keeps getting better and better.

Of course you can have one, you might guess.

Ohh.

Only the best.

Can I have one?

Ohh please join me.

OK.

All right.

Hello.

I never met a woman who smokes cigars before.

I got hooked in the Navy.

Wait a minute.

Your military.

I thought you went to one of those ID places I listed after graduation.

I just felt a duty to my country.

But mostly I did it to piss off my parents.

You.

Army.

Combat Cook.

Well, happy 4th to you.

You too.

You too.

So.

It's nice to have another actual event out here to celebrate.

Ohh.

How's it going?

I can't hear anything,

so they're either getting along

or they're quietly stabbing each

other.

Listen, I have great news.

OK, so that decorator that bought all my work,

they've already placed all the pieces.

They can't say where for privacy reasons,

but it probably means that they're going to

want a lot more.

That's great.

Wait, where's your voice going up.

Where's your face look like that?

What's going on?

Listen, babe, I don't know.