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Hello, it's Dr. Benjamin. I'm in the office now.

Are there any messages for me?

Okay. Thanks very much.

Who is it?

So he just walks up to me

and starts unbuttoning my blouse...

and everybody's downstairs having dessert.

And the whole thing is incredibly erotic

because I don't even know his name.

And he starts to kiss me...

And we're on the bed...

and... He takes his hand...

and... you know what he does?

Um...your time's up.

We'll have to pick it up next time.

I don't know, I don't know.

Nothing makes any sense.

Why fight it? What's the point?

There is no point. That's my point.

Well, Mr. Hausman, life is difficult,

but it's better than the alternative.

That's beautiful. Where did you get that? In a fortune cookie?

We do our best, Mr. Hausman.

What's this, a door?

For 14 months, I didn't even know it's a door.

Mr. Hausman.

Mr. Hausman!

Why don't you come inside and we'll talk about it?

Oh, this is nice.

Look at that guy double-parked.

The world really sucks.

Mr. Hausman...

I don't want to talk about it.

I'm sick of talk. I want some action.

It's more like, who am I, really?

Who am I?

Am I wife, Mrs. Irwin Mondragon

of New York City and great neck?

Or am I mother, daughter, travel agent?

Or am I merely perhaps... patient?

Your patient.

What do you think?

He has a wonderful sense of humor.

He's a fabulous cook.

I think I could be faithful to him.

What does he do?

He's a mounted policeman.

We met in the park.

He was on his horse.

He's gonna leave his wife.

Well, he is!

Your time is up, Mr. Arnold.

All right Murphy, a patient's admitted

with a massive barbiturate overdose.

What's the procedure?

Narcan or lorfan. I.V. or intramuscular.

Right. What else?

What else?

Dr. Benjamin - excuse me?

The presentation has changed

from 3:00 to 4:00 today.

You have a seminar tomorrow at 8:00.

Dr. Cole wants your opinion on a case.

What else? - Your wife called.

She said don't forget Dr. Jaffe's birthday present.

Oh, God. Anything else?

She said try to be home on time.

Hello, Mr. Zuckerman.

Hello, Dr. Benjamin.

Any better today?

No.

Mr. Zuckerman used to teach economics

at uh...where?

Wisconsin.

And about five years ago,

he lost his position because of...

well, tell the other doctors.

Rays.

Mr. Zuckerman feels

that there are these sinister rays and voices

beaming into his head

from the top of the world trade center

and scrambling his brains, with a result

that he has been unable to secure other employment.

Is that a fair description?

Oh, yes.

What was your last medication?

Thioridazine, 150 milligrams.

But it's not working.

Mr. Zuckerman,

I've been studying your problem,

and I'm gonna prescribe a protective hat.

What's that?

I want you to wear this.

It'll prevent the rays from getting to your brain.

They will bounce off it.

What's this, egg salad?

No, that's a special anti-ray substance,

hydrogen bisulfite.

It's...pentagon stuff.

Any better?

Yes. Yeah, that's good.

Great.

Thanks, doc.

* Happy birthday, dear Otto *

* happy birthday to you *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

"To Otto, with love and affection,

Katie and Saul."

Saul, I gotta talk to you.

Huh?

I gotta talk to you.

Okay.

Go on.

I have a patient in her 20s,

typical anxiety neurosis.

She just walks into the office.

A face, a body, a voice.

God help me.

I mean, I'm a big boy. I know the rules.

I love Brenda.

But, my god, this is different.

There's something about her.

She's fresh, smart, she's intuitive.

She wrote a play!

Even her name is special - Chloe.

Chloe Allen.

Don't tell me names!

Oh, god. I'm sorry. No names.

All right, Saul. I'm losing my mind.

I can't concentrate.

All I can think

is how can I get her to run away with me.

I have these fantasies, I get dizzy.

I'm just going straight to hell!

It's terrible! I'm taking her money!

I feel so guilty!

So refer the case.

Send her to somebody else.

I think Sam feldman has a free hour.

Are you crazy?!

Ha! Ha! Give her up?

Give her up,

and get another patient like Mrs. Debona?

She has a mustache!

I'll kill myself, I swear it!

It's not that bad.

At least you're not sleeping with her...Are you?

No.

Come on, we have to be strong.

You're an ethical man.

Not in here, I'm not. I have evil thoughts.

Honey? The cake.

Just a second, dear.

You can't throw everything away

over a little counter-transference.

You're right.

She'd never have me anyway.

Brenda looks great, huh?

She looks terrific.

I've got to pay more attention to her sexually.

Maybe tonight.

Sounds like a good idea.

Yeah...well, okay.

Thanks. I'm okay now.

Yeah?

Yeah, I just needed to ventilate a little.

So...the apartment looks great.

What did you do, paint it or what?

Did you do something to your hair, Otto?

Not bad, huh?

I had it styled. 70 bucks. Vidal sassoon.

What do you think?

It makes me look younger, right?

That was a nice party.

Otto looked a little strained tonight.

No, he's fine.

Just a little problem at the office.

Hello?

Brenda, what's wrong?

My god!

Otto collapsed. His heart.

Really? Is it serious?

Dr. Benjamin: Hello?

Woman: Hello, Dr. Benjamin?

This is Dr. Benjamin.

Oh, hi, my name is Chloe Allen.

I was given your number by Dr. Jaffe's service.

I was a patient?

Dr. Benjamin?

Miss, um, Allen?

Hello.

I am Dr. Saul Benjamin.

Would you come in, please?

Take a seat.

So, how can I help?

I'm not sure.

Thank you for seeing me so quickly.

Not at all.

Such a terrible thing - Dr. Jaffe.

Yeah. Yes, it was a tragic loss.

Tell me, why did you go into treatment originally?

About a month after I came to New York,

I started to get these attacks. What do you call them?

Anxiety attacks?

Anxiety attacks.

Go on.

Well, I'd be somewhere, in my apartment or a store,

and suddenly my heart would start beating

and my head would start buzzing

and everything would become confused

and I'd feel dizzy.

You know what I think?

I think it's being alone in the city

for the first time.

I'm from this very small town in Illinois,

which is very different from New York.

I thought my anxiety attacks were -

being in the city alone for the first time.

Of course, I am nervous about the play, too.

You see, I wrote a play, which is -

Hey, what is this?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

I'm just having a little fantasy.

That's some nothing.

Haven't you read what I wrote

on counter-transference, by any chance?

Of course.

And you're still going to treat her?

Why not?

You're infatuated with her.

After five minutes?

Who are you kidding? Five seconds.

I think she likes you, too.

Really? How do you know?

Look at the pupils. Wide open.

Sexually receptive.

How do you know about that study?

They only did that last year.

I try to keep up with the literature.

Don't worry. I can handle it.

Sure.

Think I can't?

I'm sorry. Your time is up.

We'll have to stop for now.

Allen: I wrote a play about a year ago,

and I sent it to Joe papp down at the public theatre.

And he loved it,

and he showed it to Ted caruso,

and Ted loved it!

And they're gonna do a workshop production of it,

which is an incredible break for an unknown playwright.

Ted?

Ted caruso?

Oh, the actor!

The actor, yes.

So you wrote a play

and Ted caruso is going to appear in it?

Right.

He's done his three big films,

and he wants to get back to basics.

You know, off-Broadway, no money, the theatre.

How's it going?

Fine.

Ted's a little tense.

He tends to break things in the apartment.

Oh, the apartment. You're living together?

Yeah, well, he has a key.

What would you like to see happen to this relationship?

I don't know. Anything.

Um...tell me a bit more about this...Actor.

I don't know, I don't know.

I'll tell you, man,

you sure are full of surprises here.

First you tell me

I'm the most fascinating person you ever met, right?

And then the next minute,

I can't get a straight answer from you.

Can I stop?

I'm gonna stop here, okay?

I'm sorry.

Yes, Ted, what is it?

I don't know, man. I don't know.

Who is she?

Who are you? Who am I?

Maybe it needs a better line or something.

That's a new line.

It feels artificial.

It doesn't look artificial.

It feels artificial.

But it doesn't -

yeah, but I say it feels artificial!

Anybody got a nail?

Yes, here somewhere.

Well, have you got any ideas?

Who? Me?

What do I know?

I'm not the writer. I'm just an actor.

But I'll tell you something.

I've got to act truth.

I wish people would understand that.

You got to respect his intuition.

Why?

Because he sells a lot of tickets.

Chloe, could I talk to you for a minute?

Look, Chloe, this is a work process here,

you understand?

You gotta get used to the agony, the defeat,

the victory, the confrontations.

But you gotta remember, it's still me, Teddy.

One minute it's fine, the next it needs work.

Chloe, are you getting enough rest?

You're making everybody crazy.

That's why I get all that money.

I embody unpredictability.

Can we talk about the scene?

Oh, yeah, sure.

What do you want to talk about?

Ted, I don't think it needs to be rewritten.

If you'd just give it a chance,

I think that line was really good.

I think we could have an important play here

if you would take it seriously.

I'm taking it seriously!

You got people willing to put up money,

you got actors, you got stagehands.

Ted, please don't get crazy.

I'm not getting crazy.

I just don't think it needs to be -

yeah, but I do,

and I am the one who has to go out there!

This isn't amateur time back in "illi-noise!"

This is the theatre!

The sacred professional theatre!

This is not a building, it is a temple!

And you gotta respect that!

And if certain people cannot be flexible,

then they ought to forget it!

Forget the whole thing!

Okay?

Do you think he's using his position to manipulate you?

No, you see, the thing with him

is he's an artist, he's emotional.

That's why he's so good on stage -

that sense of danger.

And he's always so guilty and vulnerable afterward.

I wish you could meet him. It's - it's...

It's really hard not to like him.

Now I'm defending him.

Something wrong?

I had...Oh, nothing.

No, go on.

I had the weirdest dream last night.

Tell me.

Forget it.

No, just forget it, forget it.

No, tell me.

No, no, no.

Tell me, tell me.

No, really, never mind, really.

No, no.

It's kind of intimate - what they call a "sex" dream.

Everything is useful.

I'd like to make a suggestion.

It may make you feel a little strange,

but I think ultimately, it will be of use.

I was in a strange, new place - a room.

And there was this strange man there,

but I seemed to know him, also.

And we were making love.

And he was very wise and gentle and kind.

And you were touching me -

excuse me?

I didn't catch the last few words.

I said he was touching me?

R...right.

Sorry.

Anyway, he knew just what to do.

Do you know what I mean?

His name was herzog!

Herzog. I mean, I don't know anybody named herzog.

What does this name bring to mind?

Nothing, really.

Well, I - there's that book, what's that book?

Um..."herzog" by...

By bellow something, bellow...What's his name?

I don't remember his first name,

which is odd because I read the novel.

Saul.

What?

Saul bellow.

The author's first name is Saul.

Oh, boy.

Really?

I'm sorry.

Hello, darling? Look okay?

It looks great.

Saul! Katie!

Hi, Sam.

Hello, doctor.

Well, he certainly doesn't repress anything, does he?

No, not a thing.

What do you think?

Extreme homosexual panic with pre-psychotic overtones.

I knew there was something about it I liked.

I'm gonna buy it... As an investment.

Speak of the devil, there's the artist.

Jac...

Could you come over here for a moment, please?

How are you doing?

Sold two, holds on three.

And I think the critic from art news is here.

Jac applezweig,

I'd like you to meet my husband

Saul Benjamin.

Dr. Fessner.

Pleased to meet you.

Nice stuff.

Why don't you go into my office

and we'll talk.

Jac, take him on the grand tour.

You're a shrink.

Right, right.

Your wife told me. She's a dynamite lady.

Thank you.

So what do you think? Does it get you hot?

Well, it's very vivid stuff.

Vivid?

You're an analyst, right?

What I want to know is, does it get you horny?

Uh...well, I...

See that guy in the picture there?

That's me.

I idealize a little.

I play with the proportions.

Do you think it's sick to play with the proportions?

I think we can all dream...A bit.

Do you think I need treatment?

This is pretty sick stuff here, right?

It's hard to be purely erotic.

Most of the time you end up with filth.

Maybe I should come to see you.

You seem to be functioning very well.

Yeah, now, but about 10 years ago,

I was doing a lot of drugs and it blew my mind.

I went to see this lady shrink.

I knocked up her daughter.

They both moved in with me.

I moved out. They went gay.

That women is more screwed up than I was.

Anyway, I've got to say hello to some people.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Ted, is that you?

It's embarrassing.

Nothing is embarrassing to the analyst.

Well, there I was in the middle

of this obscene phone call, and I thought of you.

Oh? Why?

I thought you'd know what to say to this creep

to scare him away.

You felt the need of someone strong and supportive.

I guess so.

Like the man in the dream.

The dream?

From the last session? The strange room...

Oh, that dream.

Well, feelings towards the analyst are an inevitable

and valuable part of the treatment.

I never had any feelings like this toward Dr. Jaffe.

I never had any...Fantasies.

Fantasies?

What kind of fantasy?

It's too weird.

Oh...no, you should let me decide that.

Sometimes when I'm sitting here,

I wonder what it would be like

if you leaned over and kissed me.

Well, that's perfectly...

How often does this fantasy occur?

Oh...

Hmm. Um...Are you having one now?

Dr. Benjamin...

Dr. Benjamin,

your next patient, Mrs. Mondragon.

Did you...Forget?

Dr. Benjamin.

Dr. Benjamin.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Maybe it's broken?

No, she should push the door when the buzzer sounds.

There, she's in.

Go on.

I think my time is up.

Okay...well, I'll see you next time then.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Your door doesn't work again.

Ah...mrs. Mondragon, I-I can't see you today.

Something came up. I'm really sorry.

Who are you?

Line?

"Bill."

Bill. Bill Robinson.

So, how does it feel to be an obsessive-compulsive?

Shhh.

You're cracking.

Don't you know the warning signs?

I'm in full control.

Sure you are.

"...i got started out there,"

it's like, "you are full of surprises."

It means nothing.

I'm getting hung up here.

I can't work like this. I'm gonna take five.

See, he's giving her a hard time.

I wrote an interesting paper about a play - "oedipus."

Did you ever read it?

What?

Yes, yes, of course.

Excuse me.

Attractive young woman.

Hi, clo.

Your new scene is... Wonderful.

Oh, thanks.

Catch you later.

Listen, Ted, that new scene -

it's good, it's good.

Could I talk to you for a minute?

Allen: What did she want?

Caruso: Who? Treva?

She wanted to run some lines.

I tried to get rid of her.

Allen: She's not having problems...?

Caruso: Nah, she's a good kid.

She's okay, but she has a quality.

Allen: I thought if there was some line...

Look, uh, Chloe.

I, uh... I want to apologize

about blowing up the other day at rehearsal.

Oh, Ted.

No, no, I feel terrible about it.

Sometimes my instrument gets too keyed up and...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, we're all tense. It's all right.

Oh, please.

We're still friends?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

There you go.

Look at you.

Ted...

Somebody there?

Hello?

Hey, can I help you?

Do you got a problem or what?

Greeks.

Hello. Can I speak to Dr. Geller?

Larry, Larry, hi.

It's Saul. I have to see you right away.

Saul... You look terrible!

What in the hell's happened?

It happens.

Counter-transference.

Want a cookie?

No, thank you.

It's very compelling.

What?

Compelling. The counter-transference.

Of course, it's compelling!

It comes from the bottom, the muck.

Want to sleep with this patient?

Yes.

Hmm?

For god's sake, I-I called her on the phone,

and when she answered, I-I hung up.

I'm her analyst,

and I made a prank phone call to her.

This afternoon I followed her into the theatre.

He kissed her, that pretentious little shit!

It was terrible. I nearly got caught.

As long as you don't do anything foolish.

I-I get so jealous I can't listen.

And the fantasies are starting again.

Relax. Take a tranquilizer.

You can handle it. I trained you.

I know what I'm talking about.

It's not that my life's been that terrible, you know?

Maybe it would have been better if it were,

then I'd have a reason to change it.

It's when your life is just tolerable.

Sometimes I think that's the real horror.

A slow...Quiet...Death of the soul.

Larry?

Larry, for god's sake! Larry!

Eh? So... What do you think?

There, boy, there.

Perhaps you'd like to examine

why you came 35 minutes late

for your session today.

I forgot.

You forgot your analytic session?

I've been under so much pressure lately.

Oh, yeah?

There was a crazy hanging around the other night.

A guy in the costume room.

Did you get a look at him?

No, he ran out into the street.

Ted and I were going over some lines,

and this creature jumps out at US.

It was strange.

Ah-choo!

Bless you.

Thank you.

You were... Going over some lines?

Yeah. Why?

In the costume room?

Mm-hmm. Why?

It just seems an odd place to run a scene.

Why?

In the costume room?

Then what happened?

Everybody was so rattled, we called off rehearsal,

Ted took me home.

And then what?

That's it.

That's it? Go on.

We had some wine and we talked.

Some wine?

Why? Is something wrong?

No. Why?

It sounded like you disapproved.

What makes you think that?

The tone of your voice.

There was no tone in my voice.

Yes, there was.

No, there wasn't.

I think there was.

Arrrrrr!

It's all right.

Do you think we could get back to the subject?

Right. Sure. What was it?

I think it would be -

damn!

I think it would be very fruitful

to examine, in some detail,

this obviously destructive relationship

and the drinking of wine at all hours

and god knows what!

Nothing happened.

Uh-huh.

I swear.

Anything that happens goes in my journal.

Journal?

You keep a journal? Like a diary?

Yes.

What do you write in it?

Things.

Things you have difficulty expressing in here?

Is that against the rules?

The only rule is to say what comes to mind.

Listen, are you okay?

Yeah. Why?

You're not angry with me?

Of course not. I'm your analyst.

Yeah.

Well, I see by the clock that your time is up.

Oh, right.

I'll see you next time.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Yes?

Dr. Benjamin, this is miss Allen.

Did I leave my wallet on your desk?

Just a minute. I'll see.

Oh, thank god. I thought I lost it.

Well, I'll be late for rehearsal.

Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

It is my professional opinion,

as the person who invented psychoanalysis,

that you are now "nutsy fagin."

I have to see what's in that diary.

It's for her own good.

What of the analytic contract?

She left her purse with her keys in it.

She wants me to see it.

You never heard of a freudian slip?

No. What's that?

Listen to this. "Thursday, Dr. B."

That's me.

"Dr. Benjamin.

"Underneath the cool fa�ade, a kind, gentle man,

enormously sexual."

See?

I see that you are flushing a brilliant career

down the toilet.

Well...

Look, I, uh...

I really think I should come up

and we should discuss that last scene -

oh, I don't think so. No, thanks, Ted.

It's okay. Come on.

Eh, come on.

I have hands like her father.

Congratulations.

A fetishist and an obsessive.

You'll be very happy together.

Caruso: You know, most actors would play him like a villain.

It's okay, but it's not... It's not really.

It's much too easy.

What you have to do

is look at it from his point of view.

Right? He was short,

he was a king, and he had a heart.

Ted...good night.

Okay, look.

I admit that killing the two kids...

...art, you, me, life, truth, the audience.

That's the point.

Now take Shakespeare.

Shakespeare was a professional. He knew what he was doing.

Shakespeare called actors

the abstract and the brief chroniclers of their times.

I mean, he was very heavy.

He was - he was a great writer.

Ted, I am really wet and exhausted, okay?

I like you wet.

No, Ted, no.

Ooooh. "No, Ted, no."

Hey, I see you got the Chekhov book

I told you about, huh?

You know he died on my birthday?

It's great stuff, man. Great stuff.

Evans wants me to do "the sea gull" with Vanessa.

If this were a dream,

I would interpret it in this way.

You and I are in the womb of this woman.

The tub represents the woman.

And she is giving birth to US.

What? What?

Okay, maybe not.

Ted, I wish you'd go. This is very destructive.

Oh, yeah? Says who?

Dr. Benjamin.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

El shrinko, right?

Don't you know they're the enemy?

They never have any fun,

they never want anybody to have any fun.

Good night!

Am I getting the brush here?

Caruso: Chloe?

Come on, what's happening, man?

I'm taking a shower, Ted. Good night.

Hello.

Hello.

It's Dr. Benjamin.

Hi.

Please don't scream or be upset in any way.

Oh, no, no.

It's all right. I stole your keys.

What?

You forgot your purse and I took the keys out.

Oh...why?

Your journal - I read it.

I think you ought to know that.

Oh...oh, my.

Try to remain calm.

No, I'm calm.

Why are you in my bathtub?

I have to speak to you.

Yes? Why?

I can't treat you anymore.

Why not?

I'm in love with you.

Listen, do you want to come out?

No, this is fine for now.

Just wait here a minute.

Oh, okay.

It's okay. He's gone.

This is a nice place. Did you do it yourself?

Your hair is wet.

It's very simple.

Whenever we humans start thinking of ourselves

as something better, something loftier,

than the monkey or the rabbit or the fruit fly,

then mother nature steps in

and reminds US what we really are - animals.

This is my great lesson. You can take it or leave it.

Are you okay?

Mm...sure.

Don't worry. It'll all work out.

Saul, I want you to go back into analysis.

No.

You want to throw everything away

over a little counter-transference?

It's not just a little counter-transference.

What is it, true love?

I have real feelings for her.

You're in no condition to recognize a real feeling.

Why not?

Because you're in a neurotic state.

Those are the real feelings.

Saul, she's a patient. What if she sues?

It reflects on the entire community.

Sues? For what?

Who knows? They find something.

Breach of contract, malpractice, rape.

Rape?

Rape! Rape!

Did you read about that moron in California?

Had sex with a patient. They awarded her $3 million.

They put a very high value on sex in California.

Very funny.

Anyway, she's not my patient anymore.

Since when?

What do you mean, since when?

At what point did she stop being your patient?

After you screwed her? Before?

During?

For god's sake man, she's a child!

You can't mess with her life like this.

Give it a decent interval.

If it's genuine, it'll survive

and you can see her with a clear conscience.

But as of now, you've gotta break it off.

Hi.

Hi.

You're looking very scrubbed this morning.

Oh...I'm good in the morning.

It's part of the old midwestern thing.

Would you like to order?

Yeah, I want two scrambled eggs,

large order of orange juice, double order of bacon,

a pot of tea, glass of milk,

and a English muffin.

Black coffee. Thank you.

You didn't sleep.

Oh, not a lot.

Neither did I.

What was it you wanted to talk to me about?

Look...chloe...I'm not sure what happened last night.

I've been under a bit of a strain lately.

I've given it a lot of thought,

and I think that it wouldn't be a bad idea

if we didn't see each other for a while.

What it is

is a technical problem called "transference."

What's that?

It's something that happens in analysis

when a patient takes feelings he has

towards real people in his life,

and transfers them onto the analyst,

who is not a real person.

Well, you're not gonna treat me anymore.

Treat you?

We've been to bed.

There's no way in the world

I could ever be your patient again.

Analyst.

What?

There's no way in the world you could be my analyst.

Right, that's what I said.

Sorry.

What I'm saying is...

It's very important that we give this...

A decent interval.

We both can evaluate.

Evaluate? What are we gonna evaluate?

US...the relationship.

I don't know.

I'm more of a jump-right-in kind of person.

We'll get you into treatment with a good man.

No, thank you.

I don't think I could stand any more treatment

till I got a little stronger, you know?

Oh, well.

I gotta go.

I'm gonna be late for my rehearsal.

Look, if I didn't bring this up now,

you'd eventually develop feelings

of anger and betrayal.

Eventually?

Oh, come on. Not like this.

I'm thinking maybe if I change careers.

Maybe if I became a nutritionist.

I'm very psychic about people and what they eat.

Sometimes I pass someone on the street...

Remember I told you when I was 5,

I was so happy until my turtle was suffocated in the closet?

...starts undoing my blouse...

And I still don't remember his name...

And everybody's downstairs eating peach cobbler...

And he starts to kiss me...

And then he takes his foot...

I knew it.

He goes to a police convention

and picks up some trash.

But Cal... Cal is different.

Cal was in Vietnam.

He doesn't talk much, but the sex is fabulous!

Yes.

Allen: Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't know who else to call.

Chloe, are you all right?

I don't know.

I'm sitting here in the theatre.

Everybody left 'cause rehearsal is over,

and I can't leave.

I had a dream last night.

Excuse me, Mr. Arnold.

I'll be with you in a moment.

You can't leave?

I got dizzy, went into a cold sweat,

and my head started beating.

Oh, my goodness.

I was having intercourse with my mother,

and my father was taking photographs.

That's a wonderful thought, Mr. Arnold.

Try and hold it in your mind.

You...you're alone?

It's happening again. I cannot stop trembling.

What the hell's going on?

You're having an anxiety attack.

Then I sprouted wings

and flew around the room like a bat!

Saul, can you come and get me, please?

Mr. Arnold is having a breakthrough

after three years.

Saul, for god's sake, please.

Please!

Mr. Arnold, I am very...Very sorry.

I am a doctor.

Please take me to Lincoln center.

Who's that?

It's doctor... Um...It's me.

It's okay. I'm here.

My god, Saul, I'm sorry. This is so embarrassing.

Don't be silly.

What's wrong?

It all closed in.

What?

Everything.

I started to go outside,

and suddenly everything seemed so threatening to me.

The stairs and those people out there in the street

and the elevator.

And then my heart started beating.

I -

it's okay.

It'll pass. It always does.

Feeling better?

Are you ready to go?

Where?

Out.

What do think will happen?

I'll die.

Oh, no.

What? What?

Will I really never see you again?

No, no, no... Of course you will.

But you said -

no, no.

I didn't mean it.

You won't go away?

No.

You'll stay with me?

Now what?

We get the check!

The end of life's great feast, death,

brings US the check.

I'm crazy about you.

That's my service.

I better check it. It might be an emergency.

Money...money.

I have endless supplies.

Oooh, are you okay?

Benzodiazepine and alcohol.

Did I take all my clothes off

at any point during the ravioli?

I don't think so.

Good evening, your fathernesses.

Oh, service, it's Dr. Benjamin.

Right. He did?

Could you give me the number?

Emergency.

Suicidal patient.

Hello?

Mr. Hausman, it's Dr. Benjamin.

What seems to be the trouble?

You didn't think I'd do it?

What?

O.d.

You took an overdose of what?

Supponeryl. About a dozen.

Supponeryl?

Yep.

White box? Instructions in French?

Yeah, a friend of mine brought them from Paris.

What you have there are suppositories.

What?

Sleeping suppositories.

They're inserted rectally.

I would recommend a coffee enema -

black, no sugar.

Sorry.

What?

Mr. Hausman, I said it's quite late.

I think you should go home,

and why don't we meet tomorrow at your regular time?

No, no, no. No regular time.

This is it.

I haven't actually taken them yet,

but I will.

I gotta have a session now.

No, that is impossible, Mr. Hausman.

Perhaps you could phone Dr. Feldman.

You're my doctor!

I'm gonna be over your office in 10 minutes!

If you're not there, let it be on your conscience!

Hello, Mr. Hausman.

I'm at this great party and...

And she says from nowhere,

"I'm going to acapulco with Ryan."

This little nothing secretary.

I set her up -

her own apartment, credit cards - bonwits!

Not even a secretary, a receptionist.

She can't even type, for Christ's sake!

This is it. I can't take it anymore.

What am I gonna do?

My life is over!

* embrace me *

* you sweet, embraceable you *

of all the goddamn...

* embrace me *

* you irreplace... *

what are you on, anyway?

It's more important

what you think I'm on, Mr. Haus...

Hey, doc!

Diazepam, 20 milligrams.

Methaqualone, 50 milligrams.

Get up. Walk, walk.

Alcohol. Bardolino.

Ludes? What are you trying to do,

kill yourself?

Have you ever been in love, Mr. Hausman?

Hello, operator. I need an ambulance.

You're a real screw-up, you know that?

Psychiatry is a young science, Mr. Hausman.

Science?

How are you feeling, by the way?

How am I feeling?

$8,000 in 14 months. That's how I'm feeling.

They ought to recall your little leather couch.

I'm sorry. Your time is up now.

You look a little shaky, a little queasy.

You want me to ride home in the cab with you?

No, no, I'm all right.

Here.

Okay.

It's got everything in there.

Okay.

Thanks for your help.

Oh, sure.

Okay.

Go ahead. Get rest.

I will. Goodbye.

Saul.

Hi. I tried calling home, but there was no reply,

so I took a chance on coming down.

What's wrong?

Um, something...

Something happened with one of my patients.

What's the matter?

I'm not disturbing your work?

No, just some cataloguing.

I need a glass of water.

Drink? Why don't we go out and have a drink?

Katie, I had this funny idea.

Oh.

Hello.

You remember jac?

Hi, jac.

I thought you said he works late.

Katie: Jac, please.

Things like this wouldn't happen

if you paid a little more attention to your wife.

What kind of things?

Saul, I'm having an affair with jac.

Sweetheart, what's so funny?

Aren't you gonna say anything?

I've fallen in love with a patient.

What?

An analytic patient.

I was with her this evening,

and I came here to talk about it with you,

and here we all are.

Oh, my god.

Wh-who is it? Mrs. Mondragon?

No. No, this is...

This is someone who just walked into the office.

Jac, could you come out and bring the vodka?

Him, huh?

I can't help it, Saul.

He's weird as hell, but I like him.

It's like... Well, I don't know what.

Sex with a martian.

Oh, hell, we screwed it all up, didn't we?

No. It's all for the best.

Hi.

If you're not absolutely sure,

I can always go to a hotel.

Think of me as a hotel.

I don't like it.

In my personal opinion, it stinks.

You are jumping to conclusions, Lionel.

The man is admitted to the emergency room

in the middle of the night,

giggling, singing, drugs, alcohol.

Let me see that.

Larry, a member of "the society."

Besides which, he moves in with this girl.

He moved in?

Without a decent interval?

Oh, my!

Rumors...cheap gossip.

Larry, I spoke with his wife.

The man is not sleeping at home.

So where's he sleeping, in a tree?

Dr. Singer, do you have to do that?

Yes.

I must be candid with you.

I may recommend suspension, possibly even termination.

Termination?

What is this? The CIA?

We're the society, Larry.

I have to weed out the bad apples.

I swear to you, Saul Benjamin is a prudent, sober physician.

I said, "how can you stand there

and say that to me?"

And she said, "oh, really?"

And I said, "get out."

Mrs. Mondragon...

What?

Um...turn around. I want to talk to you.

Mrs. Mondragon,

I have given this a lot of thought.

You're wasting your time here.

I can't help you.

What do you mean you can't help me?

There's nothing wrong with you that I can treat.

But what about my problems?

That's not problems you have, that's life.

I mean, you're a little tense,

you have some... Mild sexual conflicts.

Everybody has something.

But I've tried to be a good patient.

You've been a wonderful patient,

Mrs. Mondragon,

and it's been an honor knowing you.

Then what will I do with the hour?

Uh, I don't know.

It's a nice time of day. Jog, walk...Um...

Why don't you take a lover?

You don't look too good to me.

No, no, no, I feel...I feel fine.

Well, I see our time is up.

Take care of yourself and...

Have a happy life.

Dr. Benjamin: Good morning, ladies and gentleman.

My name is Dr. Saul Benjamin, and from now on,

I'll be here at the shelter every morning

so that we can meet and discuss any problems you may have

as a result of living in the street.

Uh, should any of you wish private counseling,

my fee will be 25 cents for a 50-minute session.

Now, if you're ever out on the street

and you need some sort of medical aid,

and... That's not unlikely -

hi, Marvin.

Hi.

Uh...

Saul, I have to talk to you right away.

Chloe, where have you been?

I've been calling.

Saul, hi. What's the matter?

The society's after me.

I have to defend myself tonight.

You have to do a favor for me.

Sure, why? What?

I have an appointment with a patient

in about half an hour, and I can't keep it.

All you have to do is meet him

and take him to the social security office.

He's afraid of the social security office.

Saul, is this one of your crazies?

Because -

he's perfectly harmless.

The thing is,

I have a run-through for Joe papp at 2:00.

It'll take 15 minutes at the most.

Please, you have to do it for me.

Chloe, please.

Mr. Zuckerman?

How do you do?

My name is Chloe Allen.

I'm a friend of Dr. Benjamin.

He was gonna come with you to go to

the social security office to get your checks,

but he can't make it, so I'm gonna go with you.

Um...it's just down the block.

We're gonna pick up that disability money?

Your money?

Mr. Zuckerman?

So...i don't know.

Can I help you with your -

sorry.

If you could buzz Mr. Mendez,

he knows about this.

Mr. Menendez is on the telephone.

Oh, my god! It's 2:00.

Can I make a call?

Woman: There's a pay phone in the lobby.

It's just a local call!

I'm sorry, it is against house policy

for applicants to make personal calls.

Is everything all right here?

Mr. Menendez, these people will not take a seat -

Mr. Menendez, thank god!

This is Mr. Zuckerman, Dr. Benjamin's patient.

You have the file on the desk.

Just complete it, have him sign it,

and you can put it through.

Allen: Thank you, Mr. Menendez.

All right, Mr. Zuckerman...

Have a seat.

What is your current address?

He doesn't have one. He lives in the street.

Which street do you live in?

All of them.

I thought if he just left an address -

would you permit me to conduct this interview?

Where would you like your checks mailed?

Neptune.

Neptune.

Is that Neptune street or Avenue or what?

The planet Neptune.

It has to be a place with a zip code.

Here's his address. It's his doctor's office.

All right, Mr. Zuckerman...

Sign here.

I can't do that.

Why not?

They'll take away my brain.

Noooo, they won't.

Sure, they will.

They already took away hers.

I'm afraid it's past my lunch hour.

He didn't mean it.

He's, you know...Uh...

He's...upset.

Mr. Zuckerman!

I gotta use the phone.

Can I please -

I gotta go. I just have to go.

Mr. Zuckerman.

Mr. Zuck...Erman.

I don't understand how you could walk out.

I had a run-through.

We're opening in three days.

It took me three months to set up that appointment.

I'm sorry.

Where's my white shirt? It's not upstairs.

Maybe the laundry?

You sent it to the laundry?

That's my only one!

The laundry bag. The bag. The bag on the stairs.

You know, it's really interesting

how you can just calmly sit there and write

during a major crisis.

I have to finish this scene. So I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

You think saying it is the same as being it.

Well...it's not here.

I have to meet the entire membership committee in an hour

without a shirt.

And I have no black socks.

Maybe we can ink in your ankles

with a magic marker.

Cuuuute...cuuuute.

Nothing makes an impression on you, does it?

Life is just one long, uninterrupted rehearsal.

I had to leave. It wasn't my fault.

I swear it.

You're right. It wasn't.

It's silly to expect you

to have a higher sense of responsibility

than you're capable of.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that women are more self-indulgent than men,

they give into their whims,

they act immorally and seductively

to get what they want,

and they have less guilt about it.

Women?

You feel you can blithely skip through life

and do whatever you please

because you've already been punished.

How?

You don't know?

You have no penises!

Oh, really?

The worst has already happened.

You have been castrated by god!

Envy of the male member!

Saul, I don't want what you've got.

I'm thrilled with what I've got.

You think you are,

but subconsciously you want one.

You all do.

We do, do we?

So, tell me this.

If we all want what you've got,

how come you're always running after what we've got?

What's that, a rebuttal?

No, I'm trying to understand.

You're saying that I left the social security office

this afternoon

because I've been castrated by god?

Yes.

They're gonna get you with a net.

Don't flaunt your ignorance.

The theory of castration

happens to be a cornerstone of all psychoanalysis.

Well, that's your theory. Stick to it.

You have a theory, do you?

Yes. I go to a doctor for help,

he turns up in my shower.

You wanted me to turn up. It's in your diary.

"Dr. B., enormously sexual."

Don't believe everything you read.

I'm a writer. I make things up.

You do, do you?

Yes. I take people from my real life,

and I put them into imaginary situations.

I guess we've both done a bit of that.

I guess so.

And I'll tell you something else.

I'm not your nurse or your wife

or whatever it is you think you need.

You want clean laundry? Go live with a chinaman.

Calm down. You're hysterical.

I'm not hysterical.

Ooooh!

What?

Flash Gordon.

Mr. Zuckerman. He came back.

This is wonderful!

Okay, that's it.

Just let me get him in here.

Where are you going?

To a hotel.

Just get that.

I've had it.

Let's forget the whole thing.

What do you mean?

You're crazier than Teddy!

Hold on, Mr. Zuckerman.

I can't help it. He's a patient.

He follows me around.

Yes, Mr. Zuckerman. I understand.

Chloe, he's apologizing! It's a breakthrough!

Hello?

Yes. Dr. Benjamin.

Yes, could you hold on one second?

Thank you very much.

Hold on, Mr. Zuckerman. I'll be right back.

Chloe!

Ahhh!

Mr. Zuckerman!

Mr. Zuckerman!

Oh...

Stet!

Yes, Mr. Fisher, what seems to be the trouble?

Hello.

Hello, Saul.

Come in.

You've been a bad boy.

Welcome, genius.

They're all here.

It looks like the Vatican.

Just some colleagues. I'll introduce you.

Who's the one with the glasses?

Maurice waxman.

Analyzed by Freud. Never misses a meeting.

They all have that look.

That comes from listening to everybody's nightmares

for 50 years.

May I present Saul Benjamin?

The membership committee.

Gunnar bergsen.

Harriet singer.

Maurice waxman.

Dr. Benjamin: Hello.

I'm Lionel gross.

Hello.

Harriet, why don't you and I and Dr. Benjamin

go somewhere and have a little chat?

Let's start with the hausman letter.

"Dear Mr. Hausman,

"after the bizarre events of last night,

"I cannot, in good conscience,

"continue as your analyst.

"Enclosed, please find a check for $6,500,

representing all fees paid since January 1st,"

et cetera, et cetera.

Signed, "Saul Benjamin, m.D."

You sent this letter?

Well, yes.

Let me understand.

You gave money back to a patient?

H-How did you get this?

He sent it to US. He was worried about you.

There's no need for him to be worried about me.

Maybe it's because the last time he saw you,

you were drunk and disorderly

in the emergency room.

But I returned the money because I wasn't curing him.

If I'm a plumber, I come to fix your sink

and it still leaks -

well, what about the mondragon woman?

You just terminated her... Like that?

What happened?

You couldn't fix her sink, either?

Very good. No, I couldn't.

There's nothing wrong with Mrs. Mondragon's sink.

Let's not make this difficult, Benjamin.

We're trying to determine your competence.

Dinner is served.

Thank god.

I'm starved.

These are perilous times, gentlemen.

Perilous times.

No rules, no standards.

Everybody's got a cure.

Everyone's a therapist.

Every moron's hanging out a shingle.

Bone massage...

Hostility training...

Gurus.

It's the goddamn middle ages!

I say, pull the wagons into a circle

and wait 'em out.

Right, Saul?

Oh, yes, absolutely. Wagons in a circle.

Why don't you have a little corn?

No, thanks. I don't like corn.

What's the matter?

Are you afraid of a little roughage?

Man: Hello, theatre?

This is Dr. Benjamin.

Miss Allen. Is she there?

I'm sorry. She still hasn't showed up.

Would you like me to take a message?

No. Thanks very much.

So, young fella, you're back in control?

Yes.

What was it? Too heavy a caseload?

I-I suppose.

The important thing is to give up this foolishness

with the street people.

Foolishness?

Schizophrenics don't get well, Saul.

There's no percentage in treating them.

What about the girl?

The girl?

The patient. The young one.

You think it's a secret?

Why don't you tell US about it, sweetheart?

Did they have sexual relations

on the couch?

Is this really relevant?

Let me tell you.

When a married analyst shacks up with a patient,

it's relevant.

But he's not seeing her anymore.

You've given her up, haven't you, Saul?

You've got to think of your colleagues.

What if she sues?

Or writes an article.

Could be a nasty business.

You're an analyst, sweetheart.

Try to act like one.

Go on, take some corn.

You're a bright fellow.

With a few sacrifices, you could go far.

You might even get to be one of US.

Think of it, Saul.

A member of the committee.

Oh, Saul.

Saul, you remember Ted, the actor.

Sir Ted now.

Oh, we've had a wonderful life.

We've lived everywhere.

Paris, Rome, the riviera.

We have three beautiful children.

It could have been US, Saul.

But you chose to be one of life's listeners

instead of one of the singers.

Bye-bye, Saul.

We'll send you a card.

No, no.

Geller: What's wrong, Saul?

The one good thing that happened to me

in my entire practice, in my entire life,

and...you want me to give her up.

Why do you want me to do that?

What am I doing here, anyway?

I mean, i-i-i don't want this.

I'm sorry, Larry. I better go.

Nonsense, Saul!

Sit down. Let's discuss it.

Nobody wants to lose you.

No, i-i-i really better go.

But before I go, I'd like to leave you all

with something to remember me by.

It's a trick. It's a magic trick.

Now, he does magic?

Yes. I'm gonna make myself vanish

from all of your lives.

Don't be a schmuck, Saul.

Do you want to spend the rest of your life

practicing in north Dakota?

No, it's okay.

I pull the tablecloth out from under the dishes -

Saul -

it's okay. It's a great effect.

You ready?

1...2...

Oh, my god!

3!

I did it!

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Man: Hello?

It's Dr. Benjamin. Has she come in?

I think they all left. I'll check downstairs.

Okay, thanks.

That was some magic trick.

I had to make sure.

What of?

That they would never, ever let me back in.

Good. Be independent.

I was. It builds character.

So, what will you do now?

I don't know, I don't know.

For the first time in my life,

I have this strange feeling of...Well-being.

I think that's what it is.

I feel...Pretty good.

Then this is goodbye.

You're leaving?

Didn't I mention?

I'm terminating. You're on your own.

Where are you going?

Mexico. Oaxaca... The mountains.

They're doing some interesting things -

psychotropic drugs, mushrooms, group dreaming,

religion, psychology, chemistry, all in one.

It's the future.

You?

Don't close your mind.

What happened to psychoanalysis?

Lying down on the couch?

It was an interesting experiment, that's all.

I never meant it to become an industry.

Well... Auf wiedersehen, saulie.

Don't forget me.

I had a few good insights, no?

Oh, the best.

Uh, I should have telephoned for a taxi.

I'll never get one at this hour.

Man on telephone: Hello?

What?

There's no one there.

They're probably still in the area.

Would you like me to check?

No. Thanks.

I knew it was you.

Chloe, what are you doing?

Walking.

In the middle of the night?

Where are you going?

To your office.

My office? Why?

I was thinking.

What about?

You...your patients.

Ah, my patients.

Mr. Zuckerman

and that man that always commits suicide

and that man that flies around the office.

Mr. Arnold is an accountant.

He has a very deep need to fly.

You worry about those people, don't you?

Sometimes.

I called you at the dinner.

They said you'd left early.

That's right.

How did it go?

You look great in your suit.

Did you impress the doctors?

I th- I think so, yes.

Then everything's okay?

Oh, everything's terrific.

Want to come home?

Yes. In a - in a little bit.

Let's walk for a while.

Okay.

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