Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:04,737
- So you're stuck
with debra's parents
2
00:00:04,739 --> 00:00:07,473
For the whole weekend?
3
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:09,174
- Well, we hardly
get to see them,
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,709
So when they
come to town,
5
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,379
We want to spend as much time
as possible with them.
6
00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,589
I've been told
that's how I feel.
7
00:00:26,259 --> 00:00:27,659
- I don't know.
8
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,361
There's something
about debra's mom.
9
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,730
She gives me the willies.
10
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,067
- What about the husband?
He's the weird one.
11
00:00:35,069 --> 00:00:37,603
He got all that lotion
on him.
12
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:39,238
He's all
slick and moist,
13
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,641
Like a beaver
running through the woods.
14
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:44,243
[doorbell rings]
15
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:45,444
- Ray,
could you get that?
16
00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:48,213
- Come in!
17
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,748
- Get the door,
ray.
18
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:52,284
- All right.
19
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:55,654
Come in!
20
00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:57,823
- Oh, hello,
raymond.
21
00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,426
- Hey, there, uh,
debra!
22
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:03,362
- Happy turkey's eve,
raymond. Wah!
23
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:05,731
- Hey, same to you.
Deb! Oh, okay.
24
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,567
- Hi, mom, dad.
You made it.
25
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,569
- Mm-hmm. In record time.
- Yeah?
26
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,105
Your mother kept
an eagle eye out for smokies.
27
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,473
- Ah. [laughs]
- warren.
28
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:15,674
- Hi, grandma.
Hi, grandpa.
29
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,643
- Hi, kiddies.
Hi there, babies.
30
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,245
- Oh,
isn't this nice?
31
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,713
Connecticut grandma
and grandpa
32
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:24,750
And regular grandma
and grandpa.
33
00:01:26,519 --> 00:01:27,820
Who wants tootsie pops?
34
00:01:27,822 --> 00:01:29,321
- Me! Me! Me!
35
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,695
- Oh, lois.
[laughs]
36
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,330
[kissing]
37
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,565
- Hi, marie.
- Hi.
38
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:43,135
- Marie,
you're looking wonderful!
39
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,304
- [laughs] oh, I just think
I look a wreck.
40
00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,840
I've been
helping debra cook.
41
00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:50,642
You can imagine.
42
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,812
- I'll get the rest.
- Oh, and, robert,
43
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,814
How nice
that you're here.
44
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:01,854
Oh.
45
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,705
- Oh, he had to go.
He's--
46
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:22,708
He's--he's, uh,
passing a stone.
47
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,211
- Could you get up, frank?
And would you give me those?
48
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:27,913
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
49
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,681
- Pants, dad.
Pants, pants.
50
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,683
- Oh.
51
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:39,158
- You want them up or down?
What kind of party is this?
52
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:41,693
[laughter]
53
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:44,329
- You can never complain
about my parents again ever.
54
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,198
I mean it.
55
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,799
- Okay, well,
this is all of it.
56
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,268
- Whoo, you got that?
- Yeah.
57
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,537
- Oh, my goodness.
58
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,939
How long are your relatives
staying, dear?
59
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,674
- Well, we hardly get to see 'em
when they come to town,
60
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,844
We want to spend as much time
as possible with them.
61
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:05,918
- This is for our trip
to baden-baden in germany.
62
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:08,220
- It's in
the schwarzwald,
63
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,789
Right on the banks
of the oosbach.
64
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,392
- Oosbach? You know,
there are plenty of places
65
00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:15,727
With funny-sounding names
right here in the u.S.
66
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:16,929
- That's enough,
frank.
67
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:19,198
- Milwaukee.
- Dad.
68
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,567
- Lake tahoe.
69
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,302
- What's funny about that?
70
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:27,239
- Tahoe.
- [chuckles]
71
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:31,376
- Actually, baden-baden
has the most amazing spa.
72
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,979
- It is amazing,
or as they say,
73
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:36,615
Erstaunlich.
74
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:40,552
- I got spit
all over me here.
75
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,888
[buzzer]
- ooh, my yams.
76
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,289
- Plenty of marshmallows,
right, marie?
77
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,857
- Of course.
- Because
78
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:47,926
Without the marshmallows,
it's a damn vegetable.
79
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,628
- I know, frank.
80
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,530
- I'm right in the middle
of my yams, so, ray,
81
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,398
Could you show
my parents upstairs, hon?
82
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,768
- Uh, yeah, all right.
It's just--it's up those stairs.
83
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,637
- Take them
up to the room, ray!
84
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:01,006
- Ah. We hardly get to see you.
When you come,
85
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,308
We want to spend as much time
as possible with you.
86
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:06,745
- It's so nice of you
87
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:07,980
- Cape cod.
88
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:10,816
- Okay. Dad--dad,
we get it.
89
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,588
- I like
the "cod" part. [laughs]
90
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:24,696
- So this is it.
The bedroom.
91
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:29,001
- You mean,
das shlaufzimmer.
92
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,870
- Yeah,
that's what I mean.
93
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,305
- It's so nice of you
94
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,340
To give up your room
for us, raymond.
95
00:04:35,342 --> 00:04:37,542
I hope we're not
putting you out.
96
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:39,278
- No, no, no,
except for the part
97
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:40,512
Where I got to get out.
98
00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:43,882
[laughter]
99
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,517
Okay.
100
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,954
Uh, I'll just get
my jammies.
101
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,391
- You know what's the best thing
to sleep in?
102
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,726
- A hotel?
103
00:04:57,430 --> 00:05:00,399
- Nothing.
Au naturel.
104
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:03,402
It really gives the body
a sense of freedom, huh, honey?
105
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,937
- Oh, let freedom ring.
Ha ha.
106
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:11,810
- Oh, yeah,
this is wunderbar.
107
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:16,415
- Ah.
Nice firm mattress, huh?
108
00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:19,685
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
109
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,054
Oh, this will be great
for my hip.
110
00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:42,007
- My pillow.
111
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,955
Debra.
112
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,461
Debra.
- What?
113
00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:07,733
- Does your father shower
before he goes to bed?
114
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:11,870
- I don't know.
115
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:17,476
- We have to get
a new bed.
116
00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,011
- Would you just
go to sleep?
117
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,747
My goodness,
you should be happy
118
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:25,150
To have some normal people
in the house for a change.
119
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,621
- Hey, say what you want
about my father,
120
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:33,925
He's never been naked
in our bed.
121
00:06:33,927 --> 00:06:38,130
Except for
that one super bowl.
122
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:41,800
- You told me
he was wearing underwear.
123
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,136
- Just socks.
124
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,940
- We got to get
a new bed.
125
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:54,646
- [grunts]
126
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,981
Where are you going?
127
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:59,451
- Thirsty.
128
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:03,422
You know, if you listen
real careful,
129
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,425
You can hear
my pillow screaming.
130
00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:18,170
- Everybody's getting naked
in my bed except me.
131
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:26,511
- I am getting
something to drink.
132
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:27,913
- Well, you have to
do the homework.
133
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:31,783
- I was doing the homework,
commandant.
134
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,985
- No, you weren't
doing it right.
135
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,921
The binder says to list
136
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,757
Our partner's positive
qualities with examples.
137
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,192
Now, have you
done any of the--
138
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,927
- Fine.
139
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:46,865
"warren is very, very good
at being controlling."
140
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,500
- "controlling"
has two "l"s.
141
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,701
Let me see
what else you wrote.
142
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,203
- Get away from me.
- Lois,
143
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,838
Show me
what you wrote.
144
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,806
I don't want to look
ridiculous this week.
145
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,976
- That's right. All you
care about is how you look.
146
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,178
Well, I don't even
want to go to this thing.
147
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,047
Why can't we just go
to baden-baden
148
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,549
Like we told
everybody?
149
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,693
Well, maybe it's what
I need right now.
150
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,161
- [spitting]
151
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:19,231
- This thing is going to be
a waste of time.
152
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,600
- You are
so damned negative.
153
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,902
You don't think
we need a little help?
154
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,570
How about the sex?
What about the sex?
155
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,106
- I am not withholding sex
from you. I am tired.
156
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,976
Can't I ever be tired?
Is that allowed?
157
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:35,280
- Well,
I'm never too tired.
158
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,983
Put that on the list.
That's a good quality.
159
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,784
- Oh, yes,
you'd like
160
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,653
For everyone to see that,
wouldn't you?
161
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,255
- What?
All of a sudden
162
00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:47,292
Discussing our sex life
is verboten?
163
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,261
- Ugh. That face.
164
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:50,662
- What face?
165
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,930
- Your language face.
166
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:55,166
"verboten,
oosbach."
167
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,738
- I never make that face.
168
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,273
- You have a face
for everything.
169
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:05,210
Here is your
"how is my hair?" face.
170
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,711
Oh, and my favorite,
171
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,915
"we're out of vermouth?"
172
00:09:13,152 --> 00:09:15,253
- I need the vermouth
173
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,289
To put up
with your phoniness.
174
00:09:21,260 --> 00:09:24,296
"oh, we're off
to baden-baden.
175
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:29,968
Oh, robert, how wonderful
to see you again."
176
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,771
[kissing]
177
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,773
Come on, you know
the guy freaks you out.
178
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,676
- You are
exactly the same,
179
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:39,177
And these
are not the people
180
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,346
To tell that you're going
to marriage counseling.
181
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,081
- Lois, it's only
for a week.
182
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,318
- Oh, yes, only a week
of marriage counseling
183
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,019
In new jersey.
184
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,822
It's like getting shot
and then hung.
185
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:55,794
- Hanged.
186
00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,228
- What's going on?
187
00:11:04,730 --> 00:11:06,197
- What happened to you
last night?
188
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,999
Did you go over
to your parents' to sleep?
189
00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:13,838
- Why didn't I
think of that?
190
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,206
No, I slept
in the damn garage.
191
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:17,676
- What?
You slept in the car?
192
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:26,251
- No,
I slept on the sled.
193
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,153
- Honey, why?
194
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,754
- I was trapped
down there.
195
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,023
Your parents
were down here yapping,
196
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,794
And I fell asleep,
waiting for them to go upstairs.
197
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,363
- What, so you were hiding
from them?
198
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,965
- They were talking
about personal stuff.
199
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:45,804
- So?
200
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:49,140
- You want to know
what they were saying?
201
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:53,211
- "what's that smell
in the garage?"
202
00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,420
- It was about their trip...
203
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,757
Their fakey-fake trip...
204
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,095
To that foreign place.
205
00:12:10,097 --> 00:12:12,130
- What, baden-baden?
206
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,032
- Mm, see?
You want to know.
207
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:19,437
They're not really
going there.
208
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:22,474
They're going
to new jersey.
209
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,344
- New jersey?
210
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,180
- For a week
with a marriage counselor.
211
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,416
That's right.
212
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,055
- Huh.
213
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,456
- "huh?" that's it?
214
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,024
That's all you're gonna say?
"huh"?
215
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,227
Come on, this is
big doings here, sister, huh?
216
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,796
She--he hates
that she's a phony,
217
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:48,800
And she hates
his "oosbach face."
218
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:52,971
- You know what, ray?
That--it's a private matter.
219
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,206
And my parents,
unlike yours,
220
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,442
Don't feel the need
to inflict their lives
221
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,477
On everybody else.
222
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,780
- Or maybe they're
a little embarrassed
223
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:05,216
Because, as it turns out,
they're not so perfect.
224
00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,285
- Yeah, or maybe
they're just trying
225
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,154
To work out their problems
before their marriage
226
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:11,156
Degenerates
into a screaming match
227
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,924
Like your parents'.
228
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:16,060
Arguing about how deep
a pan is before it's a pot.
229
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,229
[as frank] "if it's
3 inches, it's a pot.
230
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,831
Everybody knows that,
marie."
231
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,232
[as marie] "if you can't
boil an egg in it,
232
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,968
It's not a pot,
you jackass."
233
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,542
- Hey, either way,
234
00:13:30,544 --> 00:13:32,410
Your perfect little
connecticut,
235
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,445
"oh, oh, make sure
you cut the crust
236
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:38,483
Off my cucumber sandwich"
parents are frauds.
237
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:39,951
- You listen.
238
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:42,921
If my parents
lit an orphanage on fire
239
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,289
On christmas eve,
240
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,291
They wouldn't be as bad
as your parents!
241
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,492
Huh?
- Yeah.
242
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,928
Oh!
243
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:52,263
Dropped the turkey.
Dropped the--
244
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,240
I always wondered
where the flavor came from.
245
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:44,415
- Ooh, no running
on thanksgiving.
246
00:14:47,119 --> 00:14:48,586
- Where am I sitting
today, deb?
247
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,355
- Uh, between my mom
and your mom.
248
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:00,899
- Got any hard cider?
249
00:15:02,334 --> 00:15:05,970
- Oh, the parade is on.
I love the parade.
250
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,208
What are you doing?
- What?
251
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,576
- You--you turned off
the parade
252
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,411
Just 'cause I said
I loved it?
253
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,414
- That was
a coincidence.
254
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,949
- Change it back.
255
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,918
- No.
256
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,553
- I'm scraping the marshmallows
off the yams.
257
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,026
- Your parents
are a treasure.
258
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:30,628
- Hey, hey, happy turkey day,
you in-laws.
259
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,264
- Hey there.
- Yes, raymond, thanks again
260
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,066
For the lovely
accommodations.
261
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,935
- The coziest b & b
on long island.
262
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,236
- [laughs]
263
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:40,071
- Think it'll be as cozy
over in europe?
264
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,272
- Oh, I doubt it.
265
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,541
- [chuckles]
so do I. Yeah.
266
00:15:45,244 --> 00:15:48,012
- So where you keeping
the libations locked up?
267
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,014
It's got to be after 5:00
somewhere in the world.
268
00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:52,016
- [laughs]
- I'm with you, warren.
269
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,385
Let's get snockered.
- [laughs]
270
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,956
- Uh, debra,
let me help you.
271
00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,724
- Oh, thanks, mom.
Yeah, right here.
272
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,193
So how's it going?
273
00:16:02,195 --> 00:16:03,394
- Yeah,
how's it going?
274
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,629
- Everything's fine.
275
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,097
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm.
276
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,298
- I bet you're real excited
277
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,534
About your trip
to haagen-daagen.
278
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:13,104
- Ray...
279
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:15,006
- What?
I'm having a conversation.
280
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,408
I can't talk
to my wife's mother?
281
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,979
- Pumpkin, can I interest you
in an aperitif?
282
00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:22,747
- Oh, that would be
lovely.
283
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:26,617
- Hey, marie, beer!
284
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,620
- Get it yourself.
285
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,089
- Here you are,
meine liebchen.
286
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:33,524
- Oh, thank you,
darling. Mwa.
287
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,662
Oh, just the way I like it.
Wunderbar! [laughs]
288
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,264
- Mom, mom,
that's enough.
289
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,166
- What do you mean,
dear?
290
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:45,370
- It's enough, okay?
I know.
291
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,739
- What? What's enough?
What do you know? What?
292
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,478
- Uh, no--nothing, marie.
It's private.
293
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,546
- Private?
What do you mean, private?
294
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,548
Hey--private.
295
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,218
- Uh, no, you know what?
Uh, it's nothing, really.
296
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:02,086
I-I don't know
what I'm talking about.
297
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:05,056
I'm sorry about that, mom.
Okay, let's all, uh, eat.
298
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:07,091
- Oh, that sounds like
a good idea, debra.
299
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,559
Everything
looks delicious.
300
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,194
- Good, okay, mom, you sit here.
Dad, you can sit--
301
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,462
- No.
302
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,564
- What?
303
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,099
- I don't want
to do this anymore.
304
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:17,068
- Warren.
- No,
305
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,669
I don't have anything
to hide.
306
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,239
I'm tired
of these pretensions,
307
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:24,675
And I'm tired
of this charade.
308
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,577
As it happens, uh,
309
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,479
We're not going
to baden-baden this week.
310
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:31,616
We're going
to piscataway.
311
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:35,386
- Hey,
that's funny-sounding.
312
00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:40,391
- Lois and I are going for
a week of marriage counseling.
313
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,592
- [gasps]
314
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:45,063
- Well, it's not
a full week.
315
00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:46,697
So can't we talk
about something else?
316
00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,433
- Yeah. [clears throat]
- robert,
317
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,602
Has your stone passed?
318
00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,312
- I will never
understand you.
319
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,716
- I'm sorry,
but it's not healthy
320
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:08,519
To go on pretending
that everything is fine
321
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,254
When it isn't.
322
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,589
- Ma, you want to
put the turkey down?
323
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,858
- No.
324
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:17,128
- Who are you
to talk about healthy
325
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:20,131
With your
anal-retentive behavior?
326
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:21,399
Why don't you
tell everyone
327
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,134
About how you keep
your left socks
328
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,535
In your left drawer
329
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:27,438
And your right socks
in your right drawer?
330
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,774
- What's wrong with that?
331
00:18:39,418 --> 00:18:41,319
- Maybe dr. Sheely
will have something to say
332
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,688
About all of your
pent-up hostility.
333
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,124
- My hostility?
- That's right.
334
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:48,426
You ought to see this woman
in traffic.
335
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,861
Curses like a stevedore.
336
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:52,330
- Well, it's not because
of the traffic, warren.
337
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,866
It's because
of your insane whistling.
338
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,168
- The whistling
drowns out the profanity!
339
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:00,438
- Well, pucker up, warren,
because here it comes!
340
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,441
- Okay, mom, dad,
please just calm down.
341
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:05,343
- Why did you tell debra
about this?
342
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,278
- I didn't tell debra.
- Then how did she know?
343
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,381
- Ray heard you.
He was hiding in the garage.
344
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:18,589
- I wasn't hiding,
all right?
345
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:21,459
I checked the oil,
okay?
346
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:24,462
And it's a good thing I did,
because we're a quart low.
347
00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:27,465
- Well, wonderful.
348
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:29,433
Now everybody knows.
349
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,502
I hope you're happy,
warren.
350
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:35,573
- Sweet bastard,
I'm getting happy. [laughs]
351
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,314
- Is everything
all right, dear?
352
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,350
- Oh, he is
just impossible.
353
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:48,386
- Go on.
354
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:51,489
- Mo-mom, are you--
- oh, it's--
355
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:54,258
It's all right, dear.
We're talking.
356
00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:58,229
- I am so tired of my opinion
counting for nothing.
357
00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,831
Everything has to be
his way.
358
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:02,733
I'll swear,
ever since he retired,
359
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,635
It's not like
I'm his wife anymore.
360
00:20:04,637 --> 00:20:07,238
I'm his employee,
361
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,974
And it's all I can do
to keep from strangling him.
362
00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,713
- I feel
so close to you.
363
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:28,459
- Do you know
he makes me iron his jeans?
364
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:31,462
He insists
that they have a crease.
365
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:34,232
- At least
he can wear jeans.
366
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,500
I mean, the last time
I got a pair for frank,
367
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:39,570
It was from
the maternity jeans.
368
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,973
And--and I told him
they were just stretchy.
369
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:45,309
- [laughs]
370
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:54,018
- Oh, my god.
371
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,895
- Hey, your parents seem to be
doing okay. It's nice.
372
00:21:04,897 --> 00:21:06,897
- It's not nice.
373
00:21:06,899 --> 00:21:10,568
My father just said,
"holy crap."
374
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:13,037
- What? You always wanted
our parents to get along.
375
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,940
- Yeah, but I didn't want
my parents to convert.
376
00:21:18,377 --> 00:21:20,578
Look at 'em.
- You're right, marie.
377
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,847
Debra could get this rug
a lot cleaner.
378
00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:24,982
- [mumbling]
379
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:28,619
- Ohh, frank,
I got to tell you,
380
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,322
I overdid it this year.
Ah.
381
00:21:38,363 --> 00:21:40,631
- You know
what you need, pal?
382
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:43,501
A pair of my special
stretchy pants.
27082
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof