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WOMAN ON RADIO: Good morning, Portwenn.

[ Smooth jazz plays]

Caroline here with you once again.

We have a special treat today.

Our very own Dr. Ruth Ellingham will be here in person

to pick our brains.

I hope she's gentle! Oh!

But first a traffic update.

There's a broken-down tractor blocking Fitzsimmons Lane,

so please find an alternative route

until Ned and Westy can move it out of the way.

Heh. What a disaster.

Morning.

Sorry.

Had to change Granddad's flowers.

-Sorry. -Yes.

Lumsden?

Right.

Martin, you'll have to hold the fort till Mel gets here.

What do you mean, hold the fort?

I can't be late on my first day back.

Louisa, could I have a word, please?

I'm sorry, but surgery opens at half past 8:00.

Please, Martin.

What time is your woman getting here?

8:15. And she's not mywoman.

-She's our child minder. -Well, youchose her.

After you frightened everybody else off.

-Morning. -You're late.

-Morning, Mel. -Sorry.

-Did you get held up? -Yeah.

-No harm done. -Yes, there is.

Surgery starts at 8:30.

You should be here in advance, as agreed.

Sorry.

Why are you scratching?

Itchy jumper.

[ Smooches ]

-Miss you. -What?

I said I'll miss you.

Yes.

He had a good feed at 7:00,

so perhaps try him again at 9:00ish.

Bye-bye.

-Bye, darling. -Bye.

You think about it.

Big house like that, it's a waste.

If you get someone in,

you can have company and split the bills.

Yeah, maybe. Seems disrespectful somehow.

Well, come on, then. Notes.

You owe it to him, sweet man that he was.

He'd expect you to share your good fortune.

You think about it.

[ Smooth jazz playing]

Here, they're lovely people there.

Oh, yeah?

I told 'em that the rooms at the Crab are a bit noisy

and they ask silly money, so they want to stay here.

-How do you mean? -Your room.

You can bunk in with me temporarily,

we see how it goes.

My room?

We can't afford luxuries. I mean, a room each?

I mean, that's daft in this current financial climate.

[ Up-tempo jingle plays]

♪ This is Radio...♪

♪ Portwenn♪

MAN: This is Radio Portwenn, serving...Portwenn.

[ Music stops ]

And we're back with Dr. Ruth Ellingham.

Dr. Ruth.

Psychiatry.

You reckon it works, then?

Well, I've devoted my whole life to it,

so, yes, of course I think it works.

Mm, it must be very interesting knowing what makes people tick.

The innermost workings of the human brain, so to speak.

Do you find it makes folk wary, though?

What?

Well, just sitting here with you now,

I find myself a bit in awe,

knowing you can see right through me.

I'm not judging you. I'm a doctor.

Some doctors can be quite judgmental, though.

Well, I'm not.

I think that's apparent in the book, isn't it?

I couldn't actually locate a copy until you brought this in.

You can get it at Stoneman's in Wadebridge.

-MAN: Call on line 3. -Just £15.99.

Just a minute. We have a call from...

-MAN: Cliff. -Cliff! Hello, Cliff.

You're on the air with Dr. Ruth.

Go ahead.

CALLER: Hello? Doctor?

RUTH: [ Sighs ]

Hello, Cliff.

CAROLINE: Have you read Dr. Ruth's book, Cliff?

[ Nasally ] Not exactly, but I could use some advice.

What sort of advice, Cliff?

I find it difficult to make friends.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't do this.

Oh, and why is that, Cliff?

That's the problem. I don't know.

I mean, I think I'm quite nice, but...

I just seem to put people off.

Why do you suppose that could be, Doctor?

[ Whispering ] Talk to him.

[ Sighs ]

Well, um, do you set yourself very high standards, Cliff?

Very.

And are you similarly critical of others

as you are of yourself?

Oh! That is brilliant.

Is it?

RUTH: Well, it's just a possibility.

But, the thing is, Cliff,

nobody likes being criticized all the time.

It's off-putting.

That is so true. Do you see that, Cliff?

Yes. Yes, of course.

Are you gonna give it a try?

Give what a try?

What the doctor said.

Oh, yes. Yes, I will.

Let's take a break and go down Mexico way.

[ Whispering ] Smashing.

[ Mid-tempo jazz music plays ]

[ Music continues]

[ Woman crying ]

Don't know why I bother.

I'm off, then, Doctor. Your aunt's on the radio.

-She's what? -Yeah. 5:00 roundup.

See you tomorrow.

Is that a rash? Let me look.

I'm perfectly all right, thank you.

-Night, Morwenna. -Bye.

[ Door opens ]

Morwenna, make an appointment for, um,

whatever her name is tomorrow morning, please.

Mel.

[ Sighs ]

How are you, James? Any itching?

[ Mid-tempo jazz music continues, stops]

CAROLINE: So, to sum up, your basic advice is,

basically, be the best you can be, right?

RUTH: No, that's not it.

-Is that Ruth? -Yes.

Perhaps if you'd read the book, you might understand.

CAROLINE: Well, thank you, Dr. Ruth.

That's been most interesting.

-What's she doing on the radio? -Flogging her book.

How was your day?

Yes!

It was weird being without you two,

but pretty good on the whole.

And how did you get on without me?

Fine.

[ Sea gulls squawking ]

Hello!

Hello.

-All right, Crystal? -Is it a double?

-A double what? -Bed.

In the room you're renting.

I haven't really decided yet about renting.

Is that Freeview or subscription?

-MORWENNA: I'm not sure. -MAN: 46-inch.

Nice, eh?

All right, then. We'll give it a try?

-They'll take it. -No, they won't.

I mean, well, I'm seeing other people.

Come on, Morwenna. It was my idea.

Crystal's been at home 19 years.

Now time she spread her wings.

I wasn't looking for a couple, actually.

You don't have to take him. She can come on her own.

-Oh, no, she can't. -No, I can't!

Sorry. No. Goodbye.

Tell you what, let's just try it tonight and see how we get on.

Snob.

He's fast asleep.

Yes.

What are you doing?

Um...

Come here and sit down, and I'll show you.

You see how this is worn, here?

On the hour, the lifting arm drops off this pin, you see?

And the striking mechanism is released.

[ Bell dings ]

It's our two-week anniversary tomorrow.

What is?

Our wedding anniversary. It's two weeks tomorrow.

That's not an anniversary, then, is it?

It's two weeks.

You see how this hole has become oval with wear?

You see, you can either

replace a section of the base plate there

or bore it out and fit a -- a larger pin.

Look. That's the, uh -- That's...

[ Snoring ]

[ Snoring continues ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

♪ ...has made all things well

♪ All things bright and beautiful ♪

♪ All creatures great and small ♪

♪ All things wise and wonderful ♪

♪ The Lord God made them all

Thank you.

Now, don't forget to look out for the new children

that are joining us this term.

Okay, you make sure they're all right, okay?

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Yeah. Ah. Yeah.

Now, listen up.

Now, members of the orchestra, you need to be here by 6:00...

-Sharp. -Okay? Sharp.

...for a refresher rehearsal with Miss Woodley

because the concert starts at 7:00.

Look forward to seeing you then.

Okay. Back to your classes now.

Thank you.

Don't be silly. Straight out. Come on.

Tonight's gonna be a disaster.

Children can't remember a thing after the holidays.

Oh, they'll be fine.

Go on. On you go.

A few of us are going for a bite after.

Probably the Crab. Do you want to come?

Um...

Or will you want to get back to Dr. Ellingham?

I mean, you'd both be more than welcome, of course.

But he doesn't really go out, does he?

Oh, he does.

I mean, he wants to, now we're married.

-Stop it. -He's coming to the concert.

-No. -Yeah.

No, he is.

But I think we should probably get back straight after.

We're not used to leaving James Henry with a sitter.

But you're both coming to the concert?

Yeah. Should be fun.

On we go.

Well, I never.

Come on. Hurry up.

[ Knock on door ]

Come in.

-What is it? -My appointment?

Oh. Yes.

Thank you.

-Morwenna? -What?

Will you look after James, please,

whilst I examine, um, Kelly?

Her name's Mel.

And I'm sorry, but I don't do babies at work.

Oh, come on. Just for five minutes.

-No. -Three?

Here, Doc. Give him here.

No.

Take off your blouse and sit on the couch.

MEL: Please.

Have you any symptoms, apart from the itching?

I do get a bit tired, but that's just life.

DOC MARTIN: No, it isn't.

[ Clears throat ]

-How old are you? -45.

-God. -What?

Do you take anyexercise?

Look, Doctor, I've got a tiny bit of itch,

and I'm actually not that bothered.

-Eww. -What is it?

-It's a fungus. -Fungus?

Candida intertrigo. It's a fungal infection.

-What, like a virus? -No.

It's a yeast that flourishes

in the moist folds of skin on fat people.

Excuse me?

-Do you bathe at all? -Yes, I do.

It's obviously time to step it up.

Get amongst these crevices and sluice them out.

Drying properly is important too.

-Use a clean towel. -My towels are always clean.

[ Water running ]

Hope this doesn't reflect the level of care

you're giving to our son.

Looking after him may seem easy,

but it still needs to be done to a standard.

I have standards.

You also have skin fungus.

Well, you mind him, then.

I only come here 'cause no one else would

and Louisa begged me.

And we pay you.

Right, well, I have other patients.

Well, you'll have to multitask, then, won't you?

Shouldn't be a problem, clever man like you.

Oh, come on. Don't be ridiculous.

Milly!

If I don't see Louisa,

would you explain to her why I shan't babysit this evening?

Bye, Morwenna.

Didn't work out, then?

I don't know how you put up with it.

[ Door opens ]

[ Door closes ]

Next patient.

So you're on the radio now?

Yes. Well, just the once.

You should do it again, definitely.

Caroline did suggest it.

Can you put these on my tab?

-You were brilliant. -No.

Oh, yes. Very much so.

Oh, hello.

-You were on the radio. -Oh, did you catch it?

Sort of.

It was for the book. The publishers make you do it.

Why are you carrying the baby?

Can you have him tonight? It won't be for long.

Louisa wants me to go to some thing at the school.

No, Martin.

I tried it, and it's one of the very few areas

for which I have absolutely no aptitude.

Right.

So, when are you gonna be doing it again, then?

What did you like about it?

Everything. All of it.

You and Caroline.

That bit where that guy phoned in.

Isn't that a bit odd

to come on the radio with your personal problems?

What else was he supposed to do?

I mean, Cliff... I think he was called Cliff.

He's in a tight spot, you're an expert --

So, what's odd about it?

Although I don't think he quite understood your advice.

No?

Well, perhaps I didn't explain it very well.

No?

His problem may not be exactly what I thought it was.

It may be that inside he feels a bit inadequate,

and so he compensates

by always pretending to be strong and important.

-That could annoy people. -Annoy them?

Well, put them off.

Maybe what he should do is forget about himself

and focus on them instead.

Think of something to admire about them.

Everyone likes to be admired.

He'd have loads of friends in no time.

It's just a thought.

Well, I must get on.

How often does it happen?

Um, it's difficult to say. I don't really count.

About 15 times a day is average.

-JAMES: [ Crying] -Anything between 10 to 20.

Sounds about right.

Right. Does it relieve the discomfort?

Not really, no.

Stay there.

[ Door opens ]

That's your last patient. I'm off.

[ Crying continues ]

Hi, Morwenna.

-Hello, Mrs. Ellingham. -Where's James Henry?

Been crying a lot.

Has he?

Hello. Where's Mel, the nanny?

-She left. -Left?

Yes, I've had to look after him and run a busy medical practice.

-Gone? -I know.

What actually happened, Martin?

You remember that itch that she had?

I prescribed a simple medical treatment,

and she flew off the handle.

Excuse me. I have a patient waiting.

But, Martin, it's the school concert tonight.

Who's gonna babysit?

Well, that's all right. I won't go.

But you're expected to go.

-By whom? -Me!

That's exactly the point, Martin.

Nobody expects you to go anywhere.

I'm sorry. You've lost me.

You should want to go.

You're married to the headmistress.

-[ Door opens ] -I do! I do want to.

But she walked out.

Mrs. Ellingham.

I hope I'm not late.

Late for what?

Your aunt said you needed a babysitter.

I gave her a hand a couple of weeks back.

How?

I was doing the electrics when you were at the lodge.

Oh! You'reMike.

DOC MARTIN: Keep out of this, Morwenna.

Mike fixed your electrics

when your auntie was looking after James.

She's no good with babies, but Al says Mike's a natural.

-Huge family. Loads of babies. -Right.

Not his own, of course.

You're the uncle, aren't you, Mike?

Well, I'm happy to help.

-If you need me. -LOUISA: Um...

There -- There you are. Nothing to worry about.

-Okay. -Oh, he's...

MIKE: [ Sniffs ]

Oh, someone needs a nappy change.

-He had a nappy change. -No, it's not the nappy.

MIKE: Come on.

Go and sit down.

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, come on. All right. It's not a zoo.

♪ What have we here?

♪ Still dejected, I fear

♪ Cheer up, Fox

♪ Less of the tears 'cause your supper is here ♪

♪ Cheer up, Fox

♪ If you don't eat, you'll be dead in a week ♪

♪ Heaven knows

♪ See what I've brought ya

♪ It ain't bread and water

♪ Cheer up, Fox

♪ Cheer up, Fox

[ Music stops ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

WOMAN: You read about all this bullying and so on.

And she's a bit of a sensitive child.

Likes the arts, that sort of thing.

I'm sure Leona will fit right in.

We'll keep an eye on her. Don't you worry.

Thank you.

Is your son musical, would you say, Dr. Ellingham?

-Well... -I don't know.

He's a baby.

Well, does he bob his head around

when music comes on the telly?

We don't watch the television.

-Good show. -LOUISA: Thank you.

Couldn't you just try a little?

Try what?

I mean, I know you're here and everything, and thanks for that,

but couldn't you just try talking a bit?

What's the point in talking

if you've got nothing to talk about?

To be sociable.

-MAN: Louisa! -[ Groans ]

-[ Thud ] -Whoops!

Very nice evening, Louisa. Good effort.

-Thank you. -Going for the bonus, eh?

He's not serious, Martin.

Head teachers have to meet a quota

for after-school activities

to qualify for an annual bonus, and it's a very small one.

You can always give it to me, you don't want it.

[ Chuckles ]

Dennis is the chair of the school governors.

Dennis, do you know my husband, Martin?

No.

I make it a point to steer clear of lawyers and doctors.

-Oh. -No offense, Martin.

I have heard about you, of course.

We're honored he could be here, Louisa.

Or has Mrs. Ellingham just brought you along

to butter me up?

You see, we're gonna build

the most wonderful gym installation out there.

But Dennis here thinks it's a tad expensive.

I just ask, is it the best use of limited finances?

Yes, I think it is.

But we're boring you, Dr. Ellingham.

Would you like to come to dinner?

If you have a partner or wife, you could bring them too.

What do you think, darling?

Well, yes.

That would be very nice. When?

Tonight.

Martin, we haven't got anything in.

It's a bit short notice.

Tomorrow, then.

Why not?

Why not?

What time?

-7:30. -Perfect.

Excuse me.

What?

LOUISA: Why him?

-I was just being sociable. -He's such a bore.

You seemed to like him.

-Look who's here. -Hello, Joe.

You look amazing, Louisa. Fantastic.

Really? Thank you.

I really admire your dress.

I admire you too, Doc.

Your tie.

Everything. Fantastic. Both of you, the same.

I bet you feel good.

You should do.

Nice to see you, Joe.

-DOC MARTIN: No, it's not. -JOE: Bye.

DOC MARTIN: Not to worry. I'll do some asparagus.

LOUISA: I don't have time to shop.

You don't need to go shopping. I can do the mackerel.

-How was the concert? -Lovely. Lovely, thanks.

Everything all right?

Six ounces of formula, 19:25.

Nappy replacement, 20:05.

Lights out, 20:14. Asleep at approximately 20:25.

Is this okay?

Sure.

What are you doing, exactly?

Maximizing storage.

Yeah, it drives my mum mad,

but she's a bit of a scatterbrain

at the end of the day.

I'll just pop up, see he's all right.

Yes.

Yes.

He's tidied up in there, too.

Yeah, it's a bit finicky, isn't it?

Is it?

What's all that with the dishes in the kitchen?

Rationalizing space.

Tidy house, tidy mind.

But it was tidy.

Yeah.

Martin.

Thanks, Mike. He's well away. And everything's so tidy.

You really shouldn't have.

It's no problem.

How much do we owe you?

£14 and 30 pence.

Oh, let's just call it £15.

Mike, thanks very much. You've been brilliant.

I've got the change if you want it.

No, don't be silly. And thanks for helping out.

Yes, we're actually looking for someone in the days --

No, I've got that sorted, actually, Martin.

So, Mike, thank you so much.

Good night.

Oh, I changed your circuit breaker

the other night with your auntie.

It's a common trip.

You really need a medium voltage.

-I'll bring one 'round. -Is what we have safe?

I wouldn't have used it otherwise, Mr. Ellingham.

Good night.

It's "Doctor." Thank you. [ Clears throat ]

So, what are we going to do?

I don't know, Martin.

I'm sure you'll think of something.

I can't find it anywhere.

It's just two sheets of paper with the school logo on the top

and a signature on the bottom.

I know I left it on the table.

Are you sure you haven't put it somewhere?

Where did you have it last?

Like I just said, on the table, before we went to the concert.

I bet Mike's put it somewhere.

It's not that. That's my PCT report.

I really ought to have my own office space.

Maybe you could get more work done when you're at the school.

Ohh...

Martin!

It's silly Daddy! [ Sighs ]

-All right? -Just bills, I'm afraid.

You're wanting a lodger, are you?

Yeah.

If you can hang on, my boy will be back next week.

It would suit him down to the ground.

Has he done his prison term, then?

50%.

He'll still have to be tagged. But it's a nice, big house.

He'd appreciate the space.

I don't think that's gonna work, George.

No, he's as quiet as a lamb on his medication.

It's tempting, but no.

[ Whispering ] How long this time?

[ Whispering ] It started Wednesday.

Wednesday evening.

Is it worse or better than the last time?

-It's difficult to say. -What?

It's difficult to say.

A bit worse, maybe.

Couldn't your missus have taken him to school?

There's plenty of people to help back there.

-What? -[ Door opens ]

[ Whispering ] Tiny Help are on the phone.

What?

The child-minder people -- Tiny Help.

Can they send someone?

What, like a babysitter?

Yes!

They are out of babysitters at the present time until Friday.

-Friday? -MIKE: Hello?

[ Knocks on door ]

-ALL: Shh! -JAMES: [ Cries ]

Sorry.

I was wondering if it's okay

to turn the power off for 30 seconds

while I fit this safety trip.

[ Crying ]

Here.

Give him to me.

Yes. [ Clears throat ]

Hi, chief.

Take the cat.

Thank you.

Now. Right. Now, please.

-I have a patient. -Right. Come on, then.

Al was right. You're amazing with him.

Mr. Tinner, I beg your pardon. Take your hands away.

Keep the stalks that long, do you?

Yes.

It's a common misconception that only the tips have merit.

Like eating the icing and throwing the cake away.

I can't find anything since Mike changed everything around.

It's actually quite a good system.

Ceramics and bakeware there. What are you looking for?

Wine glasses.

You want the left-hand cupboard of the dresser.

I've, um, persuaded him to come tomorrow.

-Who? -Michael.

Tomorrow?

And you didn't think to discuss it with me first?

Discuss what?

The person who's gonna be looking after our baby.

Louisa, this is a solution to our problem.

No, Martin, it's not.

We don't know anything about him.

-James Henry likes him. -He's a baby!

Well, let's try him until Friday and then make a decision.

What decision?

Whether to employ him on a permanent basis.

Oh, permanent?

[ Doorbell rings ]

We'll be coming back to this, Martin.

[ Sighs ]

-[ Laughter ] -Good evening.

-Hiya. -Evening.

Dennis. Hi, Karen.

-This is my husband, Martin. -KAREN: Hey.

How do you do?

[ Thud ]

-Doctor. -Come through.

Got a red and a white, just in case.

[ Laughs ]

-Have you been to a party? -No. Why?

I just wondered.

This hasn't changed since Jim Sim's time, has it?

No. No, not really.

Apart from the furniture, which is mine.

Ah.

Can I -- Can I give you a hand?

What are we having?

I think I knocked these two rooms into one myself.

It must be 20 years ago now. Something like that.

Working for old Danny Parton.

Got my own company now, of course.

Well done.

I'll put that in the refrigerator.

Oh.

Martin, are you doing the drinks?

Uh, yes.

We have a sherry or maybe something soft.

Oh, I'd love a glass of white, if I may.

They've been drinking already. Did you smell her?

-[ Laughter ] -How about you, Dennis?

Oh!

Never say no to a drop of red.

-Oh, God. -Right. Red.

Where's the little chap, then? Has he gone beddy-byes?

Yeah. Sorry. You just missed him.

Oh, I love babies.

Are you thinking about it?

Oh, we'd love kids, wouldn't we, Den?

My three, by my first marriage, they all flew the nest long ago.

Can't wait to have another crack at it.

Be a shame to waste all this youthful vitality, wouldn't it?

[ Laughter ]

-Sorry. -Oh.

Sorry. Martin doesn't drink.

Thanks.

-Dennis. -Aha!

-Would you like some red? -You bet.

Ah!

Actually, I think I'll join you.

Chin-chin.

Na zdravie!

Have you got any salt?

It's been seasoned.

That's fine. I'll just get some.

I tell you, they're gonna love

playing on that gym equipment, Dennis.

Well, if we hadn't wanted a head teacher with passionate views,

we shouldn't have chosen you, should we?

LOUISA: No.

Have you seen a major sporting event recently?

Have I what?

Have you, um, watched a football match or a horse race?

There was a Champions League, I suppose.

That was rubbish, wasn't it?

I love football.

-Do you never drink, Martin? -No, I don't.

Is that 'cause you don't like the stuff,

or is it on principle?

JAMES: [ Cries]

Uh-oh.

Oh! He sounds lonely.

-He'll settle in a moment. -He's fine.

Discipline, eh, Doctor?

You can't discipline a baby. They're so little.

Yes, you can.

Do you find it a problem having a good time,

letting your guard down, having a bit of fun, Martin?

You only live once, you know?

Why would it be fun

to pickle the neural pathways of my brain with alcohol?

Everybody knows the Department of Health guidelines,

more or less.

What you may not know is that excessive use of alcohol

has a devastating effect on fertility,

not to mention spontaneous abortion,

so if you want to have a baby --

It's difficult being a health professional

because you're never off duty.

Martin, will you go and check on James Henry, please?

-Yes. -[ Crying continues]

Excuse me.

[ Stifled laughter ]

Shh!

[ Crying continues]

[ Cranking ]

-[ Music box playing ] -He's dry.

You cannot invite people into your home

and then treat them like that.

I'm merely pointing out a few basic medical truths.

No, you weren't. You were being deliberately rude.

He was rude first.

Don't be so childish. Of course he's rude.

He's a moron.

But you knew that before you invited him to supper.

He's also chairman of the school governors,

so grin and bear it.

DOC MARTIN: When are they leaving?

LOUISA: Well, I don't know, do I?

But seeing as they're here, it's up to us to be nice, okay?

Why do they have to drink so much?

-It's disgusting. -Because they're drunks, Martin.

They can't help it.

He never used to be, but he wants to keep up with her.

Everybody knows it, but we don't judge.

Nobody's business but their own.

I'm sorry, Louisa, but I'm a doctor.

No, Martin, you're a host, and they're your guests.

So let's go down there, apologize,

and try to enjoy what's left of the evening.

All right?

-[ Music box continues playing] -You just wanted to say hello!

Look who's here to join the party.

Karen, Dennis, this is James.

James, this is Karen and Dennis.

[ Music box continues playing]

Oh, dear.

Get your stuff, Karen.

Why don't we all just have some coffee and calm down?

I'm sure we can work this out.

Does that happen much, with your arm?

No.

-Come on, Karen. -How often?

It's his arthritis.

Dennis, I'm so sorry.

DENNIS: Save it, Louisa.

We never really seen eye to eye.

Now it's in the open.

Come on, Karen.

The moron's taking you home.

Good night.

-[ Door opens ] -[ Sighs ]

[ Door closes ]

Well, that went well.

Why are you looking at me like that?

It's not my fault they're ghastly.

Then why did you ask them for dinner?

For you.

[ Sighs ] Martin.

Louisa.

Louisa.

[ Yawns ]

Morning. Sorry.

He'd sleep all day if you let him, that one.

So long as you weren't next to me, snoring.

You, uh, home today, then?

-But back next summer, right? -Definitely.

Oh, and the good news is

that they talked to a family they met in Polzeath --

moving in this afternoon.

[ Laughs ] For a fortnight!

'Tis handsome!

Good morning, Mr. Dodds.

Let me give you a hand.

Lovely vehicle. Top of the range.

Not cheap, but worth every penny, I should say.

A very wise choice.

Allow me.

Thanks.

My privilege.

Just glad to help a pillar of our community, Mr. Dodds.

You all right, Dennis?

You what?

I was... No offense.

I was just wondering if you were a teeny bit...

What?

Well, just a teeny bit tipsy.

You what?

Well, nothing wrong with that. Shows a sense of fun.

It's half past 8:00 in the morning.

Unusual, yes.

But is it possible that, despite your best endeavors,

a little bit of alcohol got left in your blood last night?

By mistake, of course.

Perhaps better to walk?

Idiot.

I could fetch your groceries if you like.

Don't forget your seatbelt.

[ Slurring ] Sorry. I'll pay for it.

Right.

Blow in there. Deep breath.

I most certainly will not.

You shouldn't have parked so close.

Right. You leave me no choice.

Dennis Dodds, I arrest you for --

Give it here.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Negative.

Of course it is. What do you think I am?

I'm not happy about this, Joe. I'm not happy at all.

Fancy another go?

You ain't heard the last of this.

You all right, Cliff?

LOUISA: I think I'll just look in

on my way to school and see him.

DOC MARTIN: Well, if you really want to.

Of course I don't wantto.

But they were our guests and they had a horrible time here.

We didn't insist that they turn up inebriated.

That's what some people call "merry," Martin.

You didn't need to make such a fuss about it.

[ Door opens, closes ]

You called him a moron and both of them drunks,

I seem to remember.

Doc. Louisa.

Oh, hi, Joe. Is everything all right?

-What do you want? -Official police business.

-Morning! -LOUISA: Mike.

-Hiya, chief. How you doing? -Nappy.

Can we talk somewhere in private?

Yes. Go through.

How do you cheat a Breathalyzer?

What?

I've just come from a DUI, and the perp cheated the test.

Driving under the influence. Dennis Dodds.

How do you know he was drunk?

Trust me, Doc. He was bladdered.

He couldn't keep his balance. Problems with his speech.

Then he blows into the device. Zero.

What else?

Well, he's chairman of the parish council.

He can make your life hell just like that.

I mean, what else did he do? Are you certain he was drunk?

He's known for it, Doc. Ask anyone.

All right?

Yes.

[ Doorbell rings ]

What?

Oh, hello, Karen. Sorry.

I just wanted to see how you are today.

You'll have to speak to Dennis. He's over at the new house.

Great. Thanks.

[ Saw buzzing ]

Dennis?

Dennis?

Dennis, can I -- can I have a word?

I just wanted to talk through last night and...

That was a very necessary wake-up call, as it happens.

-I'm grateful to you. -Oh.

I've been too easygoing,

letting you run rings around the governors' recommendations

with your snooty "I know best" attitude.

You seem to forget

who gave you the job in the first place, Mrs. Ellingham.

What I am.

That playground rubbish ain't gonna happen, for starters.

Dennis, look, if you've got an issue --

[ Sander whirring ]

[ Speaking indistinctly ]

Excuse me!

Dennis, I'm trying to talk to you!

-Dennis! -[ Whirring stops ]

Look, if you're cross with me, that's one thing,

but please don't take it out on the kids.

-Don't you -- -Get off.

You're rude, you're arrogant, and you're a drunk.

And you really need to take a long, hard look at yourself

and do something about it.

[ Thud ]

[ Laughs ]

Oh -- Ohhh!

-[ Thud ] -Dennis!

KAREN: Dennis?

Oh, God!

-Martin. -DENNIS: [ Groaning ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

Louisa?

Martin, it's Dennis Dodds. He's had a bad fall.

Where are you?

Um, Number 5 Tregellas Way.

You know, where the new builds are.

Just keep still. He's on his way.

I think I just winded myself.

-Look, keep still. -Oh!

Oh, God, you poor thing.

-What's happened? -I-I'm fine.

But he just fell from up there.

And I think he's still a bit drunk from last night.

No, he's not.

He just gets tired, and it makes his speech lazy.

Any loss of sensation that you're aware of?

No, I just winded myself.

DOC MARTIN: How about your sense of smell?

Oh, it's just the same, I reckon.

I haven't really got one these days.

Since when?

Oh, about a year, now you come to mention it.

Ow! I feel that.

I think it's Parkinson's.

Normally a person would stop blinking after a few taps,

but not if you've got Parkinson's disease.

Ow!

No, that's not arthritis.

I need to do proper tests, but that's what it is.

Dennis, darling.

You might have both noticed something was up

if you weren't drunk or hungover all the time.

I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry, Dennis.

There's a lot can be done nowadays

with the right medication and treatment.

Let's get you to the surgery.

-You all right to walk? -Yeah.

Just take it slowly.

I'm okay.

-DOC MARTIN: That looks nasty. -LOUISA: Mm.

-It hurts a bit. -Try not to touch it.

Your hand could be dirty.

I'll get some antiseptic and a dressing on it when we get back.

How did you do it?

-I walked into a glass door. -Why?

I didn't do it on purpose, Martin. It was an accident.

[ Sighs ]

Morning.

Al.

Door was open. There's nobody here, so...

Do you want an appointment, or...

AL: Uh...

[ Clears throat ] Uh...

Morwenna.

Um...

Can I live with you?

Well, not -- not like that, but as a lodger.

Because I've been sleeping with my dad.

It's, uh...

Yeah.

Please.

Well, it is a bit pricey, I'm afraid.

-How much? -Mind yourself on that step.

Um...

£50 a week?

Sit down there and wait. Louisa, you come through.

Martin, I think perhaps you ought to see Dennis first.

He's had it for months.

Five minutes won't make any difference.

LOUISA: I'll be quick.

So, yep. That's great.

And then there's the deposit.

Take a seat on the end of the couch.

I feel a bit of a fraud having you do this

while Dennis sits out there with all his trouble.

Shh, shh, shh.

What? What is it?

How often do you wash your hair?

Enough.

Why? What is it?

Seborrhea capitis.

-What's that? -Dandruff.

It's more common in women half your age.

Perhaps you're not rinsing properly.

I do rinse properly.

Hmm.

I'll get some cotton wool.

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