Original subtitles

-Better man the baricades, doc.

Going to be a busy one.

-How many appointments did you make?

-The usual.

But then word got around it was your last day.

Looks like you're more popular than you thought.

-Uh, have them line up in an orderly queue.

And get their names and their symptoms.

The more information I have upfront, the quicker I can

deal with them.

-To be honest, sir, the whole system here needs a radical

overhaul, top to bottom.

-Well, it's a bit late for that.

-A bit late for you.

-A new doctor's keeping me on.

He eased his way into the transition.

And it'll be a chance to finally do things properly.

-This system works fine.

-Ok, everybody.

Ok.

Uh, seats for those who can't stand.

If there aren't enough seats, sit down on the floor.

No pushing.

No shoving.

I'll be taking names and giving out numbers.

-And one more thing.

Quiet!

Genuine medical complaints only.

I've no time for people who just want to chat.

Get that dog out of here.

Surgery opens shortly.

-Do you have a moment?

Good.

I accept your apology.

-I see.

-So before you leave.

I just want you to know that I'm not angry with you.

-Right.

-Just maybe disappointed.

-I had my reasons.

-Reasons or symptoms?

-Leaving a hotel isn't a medical condition.

-You conquered your blood phobia.

But you now have a fear of intimacy.

-Or maybe I just didn't want to be with you.

-No.

I don't think so.

I think it runs much deeper.

-It really doesn't.

-I helped you overcome the hemophobia.

I can help you beat this, too.

You just need to show a little backbone, Ellingham.

I'll see you in London.

I think you'll find when you leave this little biscuit tin

town behind things will seem very different.

-Those with pre-existing appointments get priority.

Otherwise, I'll call out your...

I'll call out your number when he's ready to see you.

-Oh, lovely.

Just like a raffle.

What will we win?

Is it a nice prize?

-No.

-Mrs. Wilson, bang on time for a 9:00.

Courtesy of Tommy's taxis.

Cheapest in town.

-Mrs. Wilson for you, doc.

-I'll wait here for you, love.

All part of the service.

-Sir, well, how many taxis do you have, anyway, Tommy?

-Just the one.

I'm the owner, the manager, and the worker.

-So technically, it should be Tommy's taxi, not taxis.

Are you all right?

-Oh, stupid migrate.

Don't suppose you've got a couple of paracetamol?

Uh, need more than one a shift.

Now I've got four or five in there.

-Should I ask the doc about that?

-So you're not going to give me another prescription?

-Well, considering you didn't finish the last one, no.

-Doc, Tommy here's got migraines.

All right if I give him a packet of paracetamol?

-How do you know it's a migraine?

-Because my head hurts.

Sharp pain right behind the eye.

Gor it right after for Andy Cooper.

Been bugging me all week, it has.

-Did paracetamol work?

-Yeah.

-Well, it wouldn't if it was a migraine.

How many did you take?

-Just two, if you don't count the couple I had before

breakfast, and the ones I had in the middle of the night.

-It's dangerous to take too many.

It's toxic for your liver.

Do you have any headaches or nausea?

-No.

-Hey, how come he gets to go before any of us?

-Yeah, I've got number five here.

What number have you got?

-Shut up.

Are you under any stress?

-Aren't we all?

-Look straight ahead.

Your pupils are reacting fine.

Any impairment to your vision at all?

-No.

I don't have time for this, doc.

Mr. Davidson ordered a taxi at 10:30.

If I don't shift it, he'll end up going with the competition.

-Most headaches pass naturally.

If you feel one coming on, lie down in a darkened room for

half an hour and see if that eases the symptoms.

If it doesn't, make an appointment to see the new

doctor on Monday.

Pauline, next patient, please.

-Number one.

-You'll need a lift to London, doc.

Don't forget, Tommy's taxis.

Get the best.

Cheaper than the rest.

-Paronychia, it's an infection of the nail folds.

Have you had your hands in water for prolonged periods?

Washing up without gloves, fishing?

-Not that I can remember.

-Hm.

Strange.

This is the second case we've had this week.

Do you know a Dan Gleebles?

-Yeah.

He's my husband's best friend.

-This disease is often transferable by holding hands

with someone who's already got it.

Right.

-I see.

Well, you'll need to apply a poultice.

And be careful who you hold hands with.

If your symptoms persist, make an appointment

to see the new doctor.

-Every night, doc, I'm asleep for two hours.

And bang, loud noise wakes me up.

Only nobody else hears it.

-It's called exploding head syndrome.

-Oh, my god.

-That's just the name of the symptom.

It correlates to stress or extreme fatigue.

It doesn't mean your head's actually going to explode.

-No, you can't.

You can't miss the show.

I've been rehearsing those kids for weeks.

Tap, two, three, step and kick.

-I don't have a choice.

The hospital can't fit in my appointment any other time.

-You should have gone private.

-Little bit pricey, that.

-Tell me about it.

Everyone's feeling the pinch, aren't they?

It's hard.

It's hard times.

And oh.

-Are you all right, Tasha?

-Oh, you what it's like.

You know, it's the last day of term.

It's always a hand full.

-But if you're feeling dizzy.

-No, no, no.

I'm fine.

Just a bit worn out, you know.

Skipped breakfast.

And it's the stress of it all.

Harbor day preparations.

And looking after the hubby and the little one.

You know, it's not easy having to do it all.

You'll find that out soon on your own.

-All right, surgery is now closed for lunch.

Please vacate the premises and come back at 2:00 pm.

Hang on to your number slips.

If anyone wants to argue, they can hand back their number.

And it's a long ways to wait for each surgery.

So I'm assuming no one wants that.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

-Where are they all going?

-I just shut the surgery down for lunch, give you some space

for a bit of a breather.

And also weed out any malingerers.

I doubt they'll bother coming back.

-That's quite efficient.

-Of course it is.

-Smell of chip fat is going to haunt me for weeks.

-Think of the benefits, though.

-I'm not sure we're making enough cash for it to be

worthwhile.

-No, not the money, son.

The real benefits.

-That we smell like a chip shop?

-The planet.

We're recycling this stuff, aren't we?

Helping to save the earth.

-Since when have you ever cared about that?

-Always.

I'm eco-friendly.

Green as they come.

-So if they weren't paying you for this stuff, you'd still

give to them for nothing?

-Oh, don't be stupid.

No.

They save some money.

We make some money.

And mother earth, well, she gets to sleep a

little easier at night.

-Very, very silly and dangerous.

Goodness me.

Martin.

-This is a bad time.

-No, no.

They were making good luck cards for me.

And some bright sport thought using superglue

would be a good idea.

-Uh, you could pick up some acetone from Mrs. Tishell.

Um, nail varnish remover, if you have any.

And that should do.

Plus soap and water.

-Sorry, what was that you wanted?

I have something for you.

-Oh, that's very nice of you.

Gregory, you go outside only when you're

clean and glue free.

And while you're waiting, you can think how silly it is to

play with glue.

Martin, you couldn't help me, could you?

-Hm.

Fine.

-Ow!

-Enough silliness.

If I have any more nonsense from you two,

you'll be in big trouble.

-Kick more, kick.

-Come on, people.

You've only got one more practice.

And then it's show time, you know.

We've got to reach the peak of our performance.

You've got to focus.

Ugh.

Ugh.

-Are you Ok, miss?

-No, I'm not.

It's your unprofessionalism that's going to drive me to an

early grave.

Right.

Come on.

Let's go from the marching.

We can do this.

Two, four, six.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

-I think it's important that we have all the financial

considerations covered for the child.

-Well, yes.

I assume that's what you meant.

Oh.

So this is what you have for me.

-Yes.

It's a spreadsheet of projected expenditure.

I've included a number of post-dated checks.

-Fine.

-Uh, Louisa, I think it's important that you check it so

that we are in agreement.

-I'm sure you've gone over it.

And I'm sure it's all perfectly

sensible and logical.

-Right.

Well, if you do have any questions.

-I said I'm sure it's fine.

-I appreciate that you may be somewhat upset with me.

-I'm not, really.

I...

I...

I just...

I just feel sorry for you.

First child, that special moment when you get to hold

it, and see its face for the first time, form a bond.

-Well, there have actually been a number of studies that

show that the baby doesn't...

-So is that it, then?

Is there anything else?

-No, that's everything.

Unless you have any problems or questions

about the birth process.

Give me a call.

-They have doctors and nurses at the hospital.

I'm sure they'll be perfectly capable of helping.

-Yes, I was just trying to say...

I'm expressing concern for your welfare.

-I better get back, then, before they find something

even worse than superglue to play with.

Good luck, then, with your move.

-Yes, you too.

I mean, wish you all the best.

-Is she your girlfriend?

-No.

-How tall are you?

Why do you look so sad?

-Glad I caught you, doc.

See you met the little one.

-Yes.

-I brought your costume.

Mom told you to stick in your bad last night.

Susie forgetful-head.

-Ta.

Bye.

-Yes.

-Idea for you, doc.

Sitting along in a dark room, I thought, sunnies.

Pretty smart, eh?

-No.

Not smart.

Not effective either.

-At least I look good in them.

I can't take time off.

If I don't work, doc, I don't get paid.

My company, my car, me, the driver.

I've got bills, big bills.

We can't all go swanning around in a suit.

-Stools to the left, chairs to the right.

My left, not your left.

I mean, right...

My right.

-Pauline.

-Hey, you.

I still got 10 minutes before lunch is over.

-So I was thinking, tonight, me and you, a drink.

Sort of a farewell to the dynamic duo.

You know, butch and Sundance, Bodie and Doyle, Eric and

Morecambe.

-No.

-It's just because after tomorrow you won't be around,

will you?

-Yes, I'm aware of that.

-That's probably for the best.

Avoid messy emotions, clean break.

-Careful with that.

Careful.

That's a surefire invitation for a slipped disc.

Stay back, lift with your knees.

-Can you give us hand, doc?

-With your history of back trouble, I've had enough

without adding you to my list of patients.

-Thanks for your help, doc.

Nobody can count on you.

-We'll miss him, though, won't we, our doc?

Yeah, probably not.

Come on.

-It's been killing me recently, both day and night.

-All right, roll over.

Have you been lifting heavy weights?

-No, I'm retired now, aren't I?

I live on my own.

When I think of all the girls I could have married.

-Stop talking.

-What's that bulge?

-What bulge?

-That bulge.

-Ah, nothing.

-Why do you keep a cricket ball in your trousers?

-Actually, it was in my pants.

-Right, your pants.

Why?

-Well, I had a truss for my hernia, didn't

I, to provide support.

But it wore out.

So I just use a cricket ball to keep it in.

-Why don't you just replace the truss?

-Nah.

It's always better to do things yourself.

-No it isn't.

-You think I'm an idiot, don't you?

-I didn't say that.

-It's written all over your face.

Small town yokel, don't know his ass from his elbow.

-Look, stuffing a cricket ball down your pants to ease the

condition of your hernia isn't in itself a particularly mad

thing to do.

I've seen worse in my time here.

But it's increased the pressure on your back, which

has caused you pain.

So yes, I do think you're an idiot.

-Told you.

-Bye.

So that was the last patient.

-Yes.

Yes, it was.

Pauline, we've worked together here for a number of years.

And I just want to say good luck.

-So we're done, then, doc?

-Hm, yes.

Um...

-You look like you want to say something else.

-Well, just that, um...

-yeah?

-I appreciate the help you've given me.

-Oh, thank god.

I thought you were going to say you were in love with me,

or something.

-What?

-Well, you know, all that bumping around, getting all

nervous.

-But that's absurd.

-Not really.

We have worked together for a long time.

And um, I've seen those little glances you give me.

Always asking me to work late, accidentally brushing your

hand against mine.

-I didn't.

-Are you sure you'll be fine in London, doc?

I mean, with the whole blood thing.

I won't be around to do it for you when you're hiding in the

corner like a little girl.

-I'll be fine.

Thank you, Pauline.

Goodbye.

-Thought you could use some company.

Something to eat.

-Uh, I'm just finishing off packing.

-I was hoping to spend some time with you

before you go, Marty.

-I didn't mean it like that.

-Strange to think this time tomorrow

you'll be back in London.

-It's not that strange.

-Will you miss us?

-I'll miss you, of course.

And I'm concerned for your financial situation.

-Oh, well, hopefully the bed and breakfast business will

help with that.

-Well, if it doesn't and you'd like some assistance.

-Thank you.

But I've been through worse and come out smiling.

That's life, isn't it, Marty?

Sometimes we have to face up to our responsibilities, no

matter how difficult they seem.

-I take it you're talking about Louisa.

-Yes, I am.

When are you planning to come back to see her?

It won't be long before the baby's born.

-I'm not sure that I can get away.

-Surely you want to see your own child as soon as possible.

-I really must get on with this packing.

-All right.

I won't say another word.

I'll just pop this in the over.

And then we can have our own little last supper.

-Careful.

-I said careful.

-Doc, when you've got some patient with a headache and a

sore throat, do you ring us up for advice?

-Of course he doesn't.

-No, just let us get on and do what we do best, all right?

Sorry, doc.

Let's do that again.

-What are you doing?

-I'm getting the place ready for the new doctor.

-Well, of course, yes.

-I'm going to add some sort of comments book for the

patients, so there's a decent level of feedback between them

and us.

-It's a surgery, not a knitting circle.

-Where's your desk?

-It's in a removal Van.

-And where's mine.

-It's here.

-Exactly.

So shh.

-Just a few left now.

-Fine.

What?

-Uh, there's something I wanted to talk to you about

before we left.

-What?

-It's, um, magical.

-He's finished.

Come back Monday.

Or head over to Weybridge.

-It's fine.

Come through.

What's the problem?

-Well, the thing is, doc, my wife's pregnant.

And I want to know if I'm going to be around to see our

little one grow up.

-Why wouldn't you be?

-This.

It's cancer, isn't it?

How long have I got left?

A year, two?

Oh, bloody hell.

You know it's bad when even the doctor has to look it up

in a book.

-It's a ganglion, the cyst of a joint.

Hold your hand up.

-Ow!

-Let me see.

Hm.

There are still boxes in this room.

-Dr. Ellingham.

Oh, I was just thinking about you.

-I, um, needed to come and see you before I left.

I have an outstanding bill to settle.

-Oh, yes.

Of course.

So London.

Must be nice this time of year.

I've never been there myself I'd love to go.

Course, not much fun by yourself.

I'd need someone to...

To invite me.

-It's the 14th, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Well, I know you'll probably be embarrassed by this, but I

got you a little farewell gift.

-Oh, that's generous.

-Oh, not really.

It was just a little something I knocked up.

It's a jumper.

-Ah.

It says Martin on it.

-Yes.

-Martin.

-Oh, thank you.

-It was a pleasure.

Goodbye, Martin.

-Come Elysse, that's it.

We're off.

It's happening.

Whoo-Hoo.

-Ooh, that's it.

Yeah.

Boy.

Oh.

-Everything all right?

-Oh, yeah.

Everything's great.

Do you know what the attention span of your average

school child is?

Can you imagine what it's like teaching them even the most

basic of routines?

It's like explaining algebra to a goldfish.

-Your speech is slurred.

Have you been drinking?

-No.

I never touch it.

-You feeling lightheaded or dizzy?

-Oh, no, it's nothing.

I've always suffered from low blood

pressure, if you must know.

It's just another burden I have to bear.

It's not easy being an artist in this time.

-If your symptoms persist, you should make an appointment

with the new doctor.

Actually, you should just make an appointment with the new

doctor.

-Well, if it gets you out of my way, I'll do that then.

Come on, kids.

Come on, my lovelies.

Whoo-Hoo.

It's happening.

-What's that you've got there?

-Mind your own business.

Shoo.

-What does shoo mean?

-It means go away.

-Then why didn't you say go away, then?

-Go away.

-Everything all right?

-I'm just waiting for a taxi.

I've got a check up at 3:00.

-Well, you should have said.

You know I would have been happy to give you a lift.

-I know.

And I'm grateful.

But everything considered, I need to start being a bit more

independent and look after myself.

-Fine.

If you do need anything.

-Sure.

Yeah, thank you.

Bye, Joan.

-I'll take that.

That's valuable.

-Hey, we are professionals, you know.

-Yes.

-You ready to hit the road, then, doc?

-Yes.

I'll, uh, just have one last look, make sure I haven't

forgotten anything.

-That could be classed as an offensive weapon.

-Special Harbor day cocktails available here.

Taking in lads and sons secret recipe.

Buy two, get one free.

-Lemonade, thank you.

-On the house for you, sir.

-Can't accept freebies, Mr. Large.

-Well, it's not exactly a secret recipe.

-Unless vodka and cranberry is a secret.

-Got a license to sell alcohol in a public area?

-Uh, absolutely.

-Yes.

-Sorry.

-Now kids, this is one of the most important

movements of your life.

The Harbor day dance, a day you will never forget.

Each one of you is an important cog

in our lovely machine.

Apart from you, I'm afraid, Susie.

Because I'm going to have to drop you back to the ensemble.

-What?

-Well, the thing is the main dancer has to have the style

and the grace to carry the audience into our world.

And I'm afraid you're just not cutting it.

-Mom.

-But don't you worry.

Because I'm going to take the part myself.

I mean, I'd rather not, obviously.

But you know, desperate times, and all that.

-Anyway, come on.

Let's get on our feet, have our usual warm up.

Hup to, hup to.

Come on with on with your arms as well.

That's it.

That's it, keep going.

-Were you ready, then?

-Yes.

Yes, we can go now.

-Hey, doc.

It looks like someone wants to say goodbye to you.

-Oh, go away.

-Oh, I'm glad I caught you.

Not...

Not right to leave without someone to wave you off.

Bye, Martin.

-Oh, god.

Disgusting animal.

-Buddy, bad boy.

Bad boy.

-She's a bit big for a school kid, isn't she?

-Can't dance, either.

-There goes the doc.

-It's Ok.

I'm here.

Nobody panic.

I have the situation under control.

-Coming through.

Move, dammit.

Everyone out of the way.

-The dynamic duo back together again, eh.

-Can you hear me?

-Yeah.

-You had a nasty fall.

-Yeah.

-Oh.

I've got no blood pressure.

Get a chair.

-Ugh.

-There you go, doc.

-Not there.

For her.

That's it.

-How bad is it, doc?

-Stop talking and give me some space.

-You heard the man, space.

Out of the way.

-Is she all right?

-No.

How did you feel before you fell?

-Heavenly.

I was dancing like an angel.

-What's wrong with her?

-It's difficult to tell.

Something's happened to the part of her brain that

controls speech and balance.

-Don't worry.

Me and the doc have got the situation under control.

-I thought it was stress.

Tommy says I take on too much.

-Tommy?

Tommy who?

Tommy's taxis.

-He's my hubby.

-Have you been getting headaches like him?

-Could you have ingested any solvents or poisonous

substances in the last 24 hours?

Do you help your husband clean the taxis?

Could you have accidentally drunk some windscreen wash?

-Uh.

What's wrong with me, doc?

-Your symptoms would suggest some sort of poisoning.

Pauline, call an ambulance.

-Doc, um, would biofuel, would that be a hazardous substance.

-Yes.

Why?

-Don't shout at us.

-Dad was selling the chip oil to Tommy and his wife, they

were, um, they were making their own taxi fuel.

-Saving a lot of money and helping the planet.

-And stupidly ignoring the dangers of inhaling methanol

fumes.

-You promised you wouldn't shout as us.

-No, I didn't.

Right, I need some alcohol.

-Got to stay focused, doc.

Although, a cold beer would go down a treat.

-You idiot.

The alcohol stops the body converting the methanol to

formaldehyde, which is a poison.

-Uh, we... we got some on the stool, doc.

-The purer, the better.

-I'll go.

-That'll do.

Is her husband involved in making the biofuels?

-Well, Tommy told us not to tell anyone else.

Because then his competitors would find out.

And he couldn't be the best and cheaper than

the rest, you know.

-Marty, Louisa was waiting for her taxi to

take her to the hospital.

-What firm did she use?

-Well, I don't know.

But it could have been Tommy's taxis.

-Hello?

-Louisa, are you in a Tommy's taxi?

-What?

Martin: Are you in a Tommy's taxi?

-Yes.

Why?

Martin: Get...

-Martin?

-Hello?

Hello?

-What?

Oh!

-Damn things don't work out here.

Black spot.

-Here you are, doc.

-Hm?

Uhm.

Right.

Pauline, I want you to hold this.

Keep administering the alcohol.

But don't overdo it.

25 milliliters every minute or so.

-25 milliliters?

-The same as you put in a gin and tonic.

-Ok.

-It's on the house, doc.

-Yeah, hello.

Martin: Louisa, where are you?

-Martin?

-Where are you?

Are you in that taxi?

-Well, yeah.

We're about halfway to the hospital.

-Where exactly?

-Ok, no need to snap.

We've just gone passed the old quarry...

Quarry entrance, which...

-Snowing.

Why is it snowing?

-Well...

Well, it's not.

-Can't see a bloody thing.

-God, Tommy!

Tommy!

Tommy!

-Louisa!

What are you doing?

-I needed to wee.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a bit shaken.

But it's Tommy.

He's breathing.

But i...

I can't wake him up.

-Are you in any pain or discomfort at all?

-No, I think Tommy's more urgent than me.

-Yes, yes, yes.

But you're sure you're all right?

-Yes.

I told you, yes.

-Oh, where's the nearest pub?

-Shouldn't we... we be looking for a hospital?

-No, his condition means he needs

alcohol as soon as possible.

Do you know or don't you?

-No.

-Have you got it?

-Yep.

Gently does it.

Medic: All right, love.

We'll get you in.

-Doc?

-Pauline, I'm about five miles east of portwenn on the trurer

road by the moor.

Where is the nearest pub?

-Um, there's the coach and four a few miles up the road.

-Get an ambulance to meet me there.

Right.

-Doc, I can still hear you.

Doc?

Hello?

You've got to hang up.

He has no idea how to use the phone properly.

-But what's...

What's wrong with him?

-Methanol poisoning.

God, oh.

Possible concussion.

-Right.

Let me give you a hand.

-No.

Not...

Not in your condition.

-But you're not exactly making a good job of it yourself.

-I can manage.

You're sure you're all right?

You'd say if you had any small aches and pains?

-Martin, I'm not the one you should be worrying about.

-Louisa, you're heavily pregnant.

And you've been a car accident.

-Martin, Tommy's the one you should be concerned about.

What's going to happen to him?

-If he doesn't get the right treatment, acidosis,

blindness, potentially death.

-What's happening?

Have they reached they pub yet?

-How's Louisa?

-Has the doc mentioned me at all?

-Will you all please shut up?

I can't hear them.

She's tell him off for dropping Tommy again.

He's says he's not doing it on purpose.

-I'm just saying you need to be more careful.

-Yes, I'm trying, thank you.

Right.

Vodka straight, quick as you can.

-Thinking he's had enough.

-This man needs alcohol now.

-Well, she shouldn't be drinking in her condition.

-I'm a doctor.

It's not one rule for you and one for everyone else.

-Shut up and listen to me.

Unless that man gets alcohol into his bloodstream

immediately, he may die.

Now either you get it for me, or be forced to come round

there and get it for myself, you officious little oaf.

Vodka, a whole bottle.

-Or I'll be forced to come round and get it myself, you

officious little oaf.

-Maybe I should be the one listening in.

After all, I do have the authority.

-Don't grab it.

-It's my jurisdiction.

-Great, I missed a bit.

-Here, try this.

-Oh.

Martin: Oh, he's coming round.

Martin: You have to drink it.

You've got to drink it.

-I don't want to.

-You don't have any choice, you selfish pig.

Just drink it.

Come on.

Martin: Open your mouth.

That's it.

-No, no, no.

-Maybe you should calm down a little, Martin.

-Idiots like this think they can do what they want,

regardless of the consequences, so long as

they're saving money, leaving people like me to clean up

their mess.

-He didn't know this was going to happen.

-He didn't think.

-People make mistakes.

People make a mess of things.

It's called being human, Martin.

Most of them learn from that, unlike some people.

I need to sit.

-Oh, god!

-I'm fine.

I'm fine.

No, I'm not.

-You hurt your back?

-No, no, the contractions are starting.

-Are you sure?

-Of course I'm sure.

Oh!

Ow!

All right.

Don't panic.

-I'm not.

Martin Stay calm!

Louisa: I am.

Don't shout at me to stay calm.

-Oh.

-We need a basin of some sort.

Come on, quickly now.

-We got a call about methanol poisoning.

-Uh, yes.

He is relatively stable now.

She, however, is not.

Baby.

-What?

-She's having her baby.

-No, your baby.

-Um, and I see we've got scissors and

gloves in your bag.

What we don't seem to have is any kind of sterile underlay.

-We might have something.

-What do you mean might?

Might's no good.

You either do or you don't!

God, useless.

-I can't do this.

-Just take a seat.

Right.

Now, is this your first baby?

-Yes, it is.

-Are you fit and well?

-Yes, she is.

-Don't worry.

We'll get your baby out safety, all right?

-Ok.

-I just need to feel where baby's head is.

-How far apart are the contractions?

-I don't know.

They've just started.

-Any sensation of rectal pressure?

The urge to push, or anything?

-Martin, stop bombarding me with questions.

-Louisa, it's important that we know what stage the labor

is at.

-And we're just getting to that.

-Well, get to that quicker then.

-Right.

Enough!

Martin, I want you to wait outside.

-What?

-I mean it.

Really, I really do.

Please.

-I'll be right outside, here.

-Give us a hand with the patient, will you?

-I'll be just out here, if you need me.

I want you to monitor his progress carefully.

Morbidity rates with this condition relate directly to

the time of consumption.

-Yeah, I know how to do my job.

Bit of advice, mate.

The less you speak, the better it is for everyone.

All right?

Head's up, mate, come on.

-Pull your knees up to your chest.

And spread them apart when you feel like pushing.

-Thank you, Martin.

I know that.

-And make sure you have your back and your

neck properly supported.

-Yes, Martin.

-She shouldn't have kicked him out.

-Oh, don't blame her.

He should learn to zip it, he should.

-Why doesn't he just tell her how he feels.

The stupid boy.

-She'll change her mind.

You know what she's like.

She'll want him there.

-I told you, Martin, stay out.

-Slowly now.

Just push when I say.

-Do you think I did the wrong thing?

-Push.

-I mean, it is his baby after all.

-You can't worry about that now.

There's more pressing matters.

This baby's coming fast.

Push.

-I've changed my mind.

-It's too late for that now.

This baby is coming, whether you want it to or not.

-No, I mean about him.

Let him in.

-Look, I know you don't want me in here.

But I have to tell you I was wrong.

-Please, come here.

-I was wrong about you, about leaving, about everything.

When I saw that taxi, I feared the worst.

-Can't take much more of this.

When I was born, I didn't hang around.

Just plop, out like that.

-I can see the head.

Come on now.

Keep going.

You're doing great.

Again.

Push.

One more, come on now.

Push, big one.

-It's not too late to have a bet on the baby's name.

Joan's been surprisingly popular at 3 to 1.

Vivian at 12.

Bert, he's at 15 to 2.

-Now Bert, honestly.

-And Martin, 500 to 1.

-One more now.

Push.

Again.

Push.

Big one.

-Congratulations.

It's a boy.

-It's a boy!

-It's a boy.

It's a boy.

Oh.

Oh, yes.

Martin.

-Just a minute.

-He has a little problem with blood.

-Sorry about that.

-Do you want to hold him?

-Um, no.

-No, of course not.

-Um, I mean, he's a baby.

I might drop him or do something wrong.

I don't think I'm very good with babies.

-You could learn.

-Yes, I could.

-Oh.

Don't worry.

You'll get used to him eventually.

Isn't he beautiful, though.

-Head's a bit misshapen.

-Martin.

-The pressure in the birth canal squeezes the plates of

the skull together so it can pass through.

Should rectify itself in six weeks or so.

If not, he might need a small procedure.

What?