Original subtitles

Come on, Zenaida, don't run away from me!

Leave me alone, you hideous old man!

Calm down, carrion!

Zenaida!

Help! Please!

Let me in!

Open!

Zenaida!

Zenaidunia!

Come on, baby!

Cursed, beleaguered old man,

you should already be thinking about other things.

CURED OF THEIR FEARS THE DEVIL HAS INFILTRATED THEM

Gotcha!

Come on, dearest, I love you!

Disgusting old man,

don't you understand? Leave me alone

I'll leave you alone if I catch you!

You no longer have anywhere to run,

This night you are mine, Zenaida!

Well, hideous old man, try it!

Coming!

Gotcha!

Zenaida.

With this stick.... ay.

Zenaida!

I don't understand what is happening to this man,

The heartbeat is not normal.

The thermometer indicated 35 and dropped to zero.

Impossible!

He looks dead, but he is moving.

No pulse!

I don't understand, his blood pressure is very high!

Isn't he a mercenary?

I don't think so, poor old man.

I'll give him a serum, it will calm him down.

And, silly woman!

I thought I had seen everything in my career.

This needs to be reported to the medical center.

Yes, it needs to be reported.

I'm flying!

What a cold night.

I have to get to the castle.

But it's cold.

I will close the window.

Don't close!

Karle!

Master! But you scared me.

Igor!

No, no!

Igor!

No, master, please don't!

You are an idiot!

Please don't!

For 1500 years of my existence

I have not met a bigger fool than you.

How do I miraculously put up with you?

I really don't understand.

In other times I would have cut off your head myself

And I would throw it into the river to poison the fish.

Don't beat me!

It was just very cold.

You are a hopeless case.

Well, I forgive you.

Prepare the rooms.

Of course! As you wish.

Master, bed made.

Enough, Igor, enough.

Igor!

Please don't beat me!

It was an accident.

You are an accident of nature!

One of these centuries I will find another secretary,

Because you will make me die of rage,

Or you will make me a cripple.

Igor!

I'm going to kill you!

Or not,

Because I'm too tired.

You are probably asking yourself how a vampire can live in the Mexican capital.

It's really an amazing story.

My name is Magdalena Santos, I'm from Guadalajara

And I am an anthropologist specializing in indigenous peoples.

It all started some time ago.

With a group of professors, we were invited to the capital,

to investigate an important archaeological discovery.

Professor, I have been doing research, but something is not right.

I would like you to help me.

I would like to introduce you to the director of anthropology, Professor Solares.

What a pleasant surprise!

Meaning?

Ms.

We have yet to see such an attractive archaeologist.

Professor, I hope the research will be conducted professionally,

I didn't drive all that long to chat.

Of course, in the nearby pyramids

We discovered the greatest archaeological treasure,

What Mexican history has seen.

I can't wait to see these wonders.

When do we start the dig?

Tomorrow morning,

today we are throwing a party in your honor.

Miraculous Hippocrates Exorcist sorcerer Certified in Catemaco

Scorpion venom, To keep his mother-in-law up at night.

The liver of an elephant, To withstand taxes.

Horse sperm, To succeed Success in love.

Parrot saliva, To thrive in politics.

Rat's claws, to succeed In trade.

Itching powder, to succeed In dance.

And no, the other way around.

I need to concentrate.

Jacinto, will you be so kind as to stop making a fuss?

I can't concentrate, and I need to diminish this head.

Hippocrates, why do you like to cling so much?

Don't piss me off or I'll turn you into a toad.

Don't scare me, watch me shake.

Give watching is my favorite program.

Hippocrates, what are you doing!

Not at the toad! They will throw stones at me!

Hippocrates! Remember, I am your best friend!

The next morning, a group of workers,

professor and me

Together we entered the underground of the pyramids.

It's a fascinating place

Full of magic and mystery.

Professor Solares disagreed with the path I had chosen.

Sometimes I think he already sensed something.

Professor, where can we dig?

I believe about 20 meters in that direction,

as indicated.

Professor, there is a risk of a heart attack!

Trust me, I have everything well counted.

Okay, I will trust you.

But I urge us to be careful.

Yes, professor, but we are already close.

Professor!

Behind that wall is empty space!

Professor! Didn't I tell you? I was right!

Please keep digging!

Take a step back.

I said!

What emotions!

It worked!

Please take a look! I have never been so happy! Wonderful!

It worked!

We will go down in history, professor!

This is unbelievable!

It's wonderful!

I can't believe it!

Believe it, professor.

Let's go, carefully.

Lamp.

For the Child of Atocha!

Let's run, professor, let's run!

Calm down, Bernabé said.

Do not believe in superstitions.

Please light the torch.

There is something very strange about this.

This is not what we were looking for.

What's going on?

I have a strange feeling.

It has nothing to do with the period,

From which this pyramid originated.

I don't know,

coffin,

crucifix.

Guys,

search the place thoroughly.

Yes, professor. I'll be right back, Magdalena.

Magdalena!

Magdalena!

What's going on, professor?

Magdalena.

I don't understand what's going on here,

But we are surrounded by something bad,

satanic.

I have to tell you something.

I found frescoes that show the history of the tomb.

What are you talking about, girl?

This is a man who has killed many women

and was sacrificed by Aztec priests.

Let's go!

No, please, no!

No!

Don't kill us!

No!

No, please!

No!

Leave me alone!

If I understand correctly,

You saw a man kill your companions.

It's not human!

It's a devilish beast that I foolishly brought back to life.

I revived it!

Don't expect me to believe.

I swear to the doctor, it's true!

I will measure your pulse.

Please, doctor!

This is a very dangerous vampire,

Will kill many people.

Help me, please!

We must do something before the kingdom of darkness takes over the world.

You shouldn't say that, please calm down.

You don't believe me, do you?

How is it possible that all these people have mysteriously disappeared, doctor?

Maybe they were kidnapped?

And they will immediately call for help.

Are you accusing me of kidnapping them all?

Doctor,

Why don't we go to that tomb?

If it's not a vampire,

then maybe we can find out why she thinks so.

Thank you, even though you think I am not crazy.

Not yet.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm Detective Ochoa and I've been given this case.

We will see the tomb you are talking about

And we will investigate the disappearance of your co-workers.

It's here!

The entrance was here!

On the other side is a secret tomb!

This wall is as hard as a rock.

It really rocks.

It is impossible that there is something behind it.

Believe me, I saw a hidden tomb behind that wall.

He is there!

I have seen terrible things!

I will never forget it!

I am telling the truth!

Please calm down.

You are right, there is something strange here.

But I promise we will investigate it thoroughly.

I saw it!

Please calm down.

Believe me.

Injection.

No!

No, let me go! I'm not crazy!

No!

No, let me go!

Let's go.

They never believed what happened.

They put me in a straitjacket.

And they applied psychiatric treatment,

Which I never needed.

Only I knew that this nightmare

didn't just happen in my confused imagination.

Get to work! The customer has arrived!

Good morning. Good morning.

I am looking for two quacks, supposedly very good.

We are the best.

I am Miracle Hippocrates.

I am the Great Jacinto.

It's about his nose.

I am very pleased.

Enter the creature,

Here you will find the magic cure for your ailments.

But the body!

Please stop.

And say what you....

...going on with your soul

Sir, I have a love problem.

The man I love does not pay attention to me.

Impossible.

No matter what I do to show him how I feel.

That's awful!

This is my specialty.

Jacinto, prepare the operating room.

What?

Operating Room.

What is it, master?

Clean up your room, stupid.

And, yes.

Allow me...

Go now, go.

Heart problems are my specialty,

I will solve your problem.

Do you think he will notice me?

He will have to, daughter.

I will call on the Almighty to enlighten me.

We need to start with a cleanup,

to get rid of any jealousy

and bad energy,

Because you are trembling.

The hall is ready, master.

Well, you can undress.

What to do!

Please trust me,

We need to get a magical atmosphere,

so that the spell could work.

Do you want me to undress? Not here.

Let's all get naked!

No!

Please, we got rid of carnal contacts.

We are not interested in sex life,

We are looking for the spiritual world.

Well, if so, yes.

Ay, Hippocrates, you convinced her!

Now that impressed me,

And you always say, a better sparrow in a handful.

I even impressed myself.

Well, see this beautiful soul for yourself.

Master, what is the next step?

Now we will start the purification.

It is to make the evil lusts come out of your body.

This, if someone had cast a spell.

And that to be guided by the light.

And lead her straight to me.

What do you say, weirdo?

No, I will guide you

The way of the Lord Almighty.

Lie down, girl.

Yes, let him lie down, master.

Lie down, girl, lie down.

I will anoint her with this oil.

Master, can I anoint her first?

No, no, I have to go first.

Well, master.

Don't let the master be jealous

And he will give me some oil so that I can also anoint it a bit

You have,

anoint it.

I will anoint her master.

I will anoint the left leg, and the master where he wants.

How well do we anoint, no?

Wonderful anointing, master.

And here is what to anoint?

Of course!

Here I think it was already anointed, but

I'll go straight down

And I'll come back zigzagging.

Queen, the guy you were talking about....

Give me more oil, master.

No foolishness, so that I am not left without anything!

Queen, the guy you were talking about is some kind of fool

I could anoint you all day, lasciviously.

Laseczka, my queen.

Doll, why can't I kiss you?

You are despicable, not in a toad

Back in the toad?

I should anoint her first.

Hippocrates, don't be mean,

you want all the women for yourself.

Why are you doing this to me?

I don't want you to be a toad.

Do you know how much I felt like shagging her?

I'm glad you overcame your obsession,

It's been a long time, Magdalena

Yes, Doctor.

You can go out and face life without fear.

Magdalena,

The police wanted to put you in jail,

But I disturbed them.

Because I was sure you could recover.

Thank you very much, doctor.

I don't know how I could have been so stupid

And believe in this absurd nonsense.

Paranoia, Magdalena, is paranoia.

You were very sick,

But you cooperated.

You've been a good patient lately.

You don't know how happy I am to be back to a normal life.

Thank you doctor.

You're welcome. And take care.

Thank you, goodbye.

I had to pretend to be crazy,

So that after I was cured, they would let me leave.

But I knew the monster was on the loose,

And that he has harmed many other innocent women.

You are wonderful.

I have thought it over and will send my fiancé to hell.

Very good, love.

I'll see you my love quack.

Tomorrow I will come for another visit, okay?

Enough, Hippocrates! Release me!

I'm tired of being a toad,

I'm sick of frogs' legs.

Release me.

And you can see,

I've really had enough of you.

Listen, when you come tomorrow, why don't you bring someone for me?

Don't be rude!

I wanted to say why don't you come with another

A soul in need of help?

Of course, tomorrow I will come with my grandmother!

By.

Master, please get up, it's already night!

No lessons today, cursed knucklehead.

There is nothing worse than a dull vampire.

Master, please get up, there is a cross in the bed!

Darkness has come, you must find dinner.

Perhaps in the form of a woman?

Please remember,

If you don't eat,

You will be old and wrinkled again.

Igor!

Yes, master?

Not after the buttocks.

To make them glow!

I prepared pudding and bloody Marry,

So that you do not leave without dinner.

What are these abominations?

I need fresh blood!

Mother, but he's eating out of his mouth.

Where are you in such a hurry to go?

Who are you?

Please let me go!

Leave me alone!

Do you really want me to leave you alone?

Let me go!

Look into my eyes!

Hey, leave her alone! Don't touch her!

No, let him go!

Leave it!

Don't kill him!

No!

Help!

No!

No!

To all patrols,

I have a kill here,

I need support.

Get up!

Show your hands!

Stop or I'll shoot!

Catch it!

It is behind the car.

THE SUN OF THE NIGHT

Since no one believed me,

Brutal crime And I felt responsible for the release of this monster

I went to the national library,

To find anything that will help me find him.

Crime in La Merced

Praise be to God that you are already there,

enter.

Can a donkey come in?

Yes, please come in.

Come on, Jacinto.

Please enter.

And this is the boy.

You know what, I didn't ask my boss for permission,

Wait, I'll call her.

don't run away, don't be a cyclist.

Listen snot, talk to me in human terms.

What, dickens, do you want?

Polyglot!

I'll leave you to it, the lady calls.

Go ahead, I'll take care of everything.

Okay, listen up little brother.

Tell me, what did you smoke?

Looking for a bump? Good, no problem,

You slander of hell.

In the name of great power,

I command you, unknown spirit,

Give me a reason why you torment this innocent creature.

How innocent? Did you see what he did to me?

Me, my privilege,

I command you,

Demons, or demons,

let your madness end

And stop tormenting this poor child.

Run, or flee,

or Archangel Michael will put you in chains

With the help of two of his bodyguards.

I told you it was a cattle prod!

Maybe we should sell it to the circus, we will make a lot of money.

Guess what?

I have this snot up to my nose.

I'm off, Hippocrates.

Jacinto, don't leave me here alone.

Come on, can't you see that he's a nut?

Hippocrates, help me!

Oh you mischievous snot,

You torment me because you think I'm a hick.

Come to me,

TAKE ME.

I love you, baby.

Come to me,

take me

just for themselves.

Enjoy my body,

enjoy me,

embrace me.

Uu, how pretty.

No, Jacinto.

Hippocrates, I already like it.

Don't touch it.

Jacinto, can't you see? It's the same snot.

Well, yes, but what a beauty.

Don't pay attention to him, dear.

I am the woman of your dreams.

Do you smell it? It smells like sulfur, let's go.

It's a monster, don't you see?

On behalf of the spirits and myself,

I, Miracle Hippocrates,

I'm taming the creature's body,

I free them from spells, charms and incantations,

So that favors would flow down on them,

To end the pain,

So that the light of goodness comes back to him.

I draw three crosses,

That the evil spirits leave this body

and could have been cleaned up.

You and your sorcery can run to me for groceries.

You know what, Hippocrates?

This snot should be beaten decently on the snout.

And thus the boy was miraculously rescued

dez demon became a sweet, sensitive being, as before.

Without a doubt, these quacks are no ordinary charlatans,

They had something magical and wonderful about them to help people.

You will not escape me anymore.

What's going on?

Let it go!

What do you want?

What is it about?

Let it go!

Jasmina!

Where are you in such a hurry to go?

Let me go!

Calm down.

How do you feel?

I am furious.

These gorillas took my boyfriend and I don't know why.

Don't worry, your boyfriend wasn't worthy of you.

There are better ones in the world.

Do you think so?

I'm sure.

Look into my eyes.

Focus on the size of my being.

You're right.

He is not important,

let them take it away.

Will you come with me?

I like you.

You are the most fascinating man I have ever known.

I know, you will fade in surprise.

After a few days of searching

I found many crimes he may have committed.

And a message about these two people,

Of which the sixth sense hinted,

That they can help me in the fight against my dangerous enemy.

Detective Ochoa has not stopped searching for the mysteriously missing man.

Cockroach, cockroach, can't walk anymore

Because he lacks, because he doesn't have

Marijuana for smoking

Evening.

And who are you?

You are too beautiful to walk alone

At this time of night.

Don't talk nonsense.

You know what, you just want to sleep with me,

But know that I am not afraid of you.

Get out of here, now!

Batman!

You're not Batman, you're a regular sku...

Cockroach, cockroach

He can't walk anymore

Because he doesn't have one, because he lacks

Blood to suck

What is happening to me?

This has never been the case

What was in the blood of the cursed woman?

No, no!

I can see blurry.

I see two windows, which one is it?

Master!

What's wrong with you?

Paralysis, please.

On the full moon you will kill a deer,

You will cut off all his legs,

drink his blood

And in three days you will walk normally.

Thank you very much!

What's wrong with you?

I'm losing my voice.

On a full moon you will kill a canary and a lark,

Which sing beautifully,

cut off their heads and drink their blood

And in three days you will speak normally.

Thank you!

I have AIDS, please.

Do you know the swallows?

Should I cut off their heads?

No, listen to them for yourself,

because you're done, peasant

Once he starts walking, you will help him with his first steps.

Now go with the Almighty.

You know what?

What's that?

There is something very good about AIDS.

What's that?

Zdziele.

Herb?

What herb?

Split in the buttocks before use.

And be careful with whom you do your mischief.

You are infecting all of Catemaco!

Excuse me, sir.

Yes?

Did I find the Miracle Hippocrates?

I need help.

I am the Great Jacinto.

Enter, enter the heavenly creature,

Here you will find a cure for all your worries,

For all your afflictions.

How wonderful!

I ask.

I ask.

Master, another tormented soul has come for help.

And what tortured curves it has.

What can I help you with?

Sir!

Something terrible has happened,

I discovered the existence of a vampire!

Don't bullshit.

Sorry!

Sorry, but don't bullshit.

Was it a vampire?

You have to believe me!

I saw it with my own eyes.

It is real!

Killed many of my employees

And many women,

Here I have the evidence.

Well, please come in and calm down

And please tell us what the issue is.

Master, and maybe before he shows us the evidence,

then shall we anoint her, master?

I'm an archaeologist from Guadalajara

and came in for a checkup

I...

What do you want? I'm busy,

I want to ask you some questions,

Which ones?

May I come in?

Okay, go in, just don't steal anything.

Okay, say what you want.

A tall guy with a sinister look lives here, right?

Don't.

I haven't seen anyone like that.

Listen, dwarf, I know that one lives here

And you'd better tell me where it is.

Because if not, we'll talk about it at the police station.

Oh, how I am afraid!

You watch too much TV.

In the tower!

Nice to see you again.

I am also very pleased.

Especially since we have unbalanced accounts.

Yes, which ones?

You should not disturb me while I am eating.

I am very sorry,

But you are detained for murder.

Police officers are stupid after all

Take it!

Igor!

Destroy it!

I'm going to punish the dog, I'll be right back.

It's hard to get good service these days, huh?

Yes, quite hard,

But no matter.

I will take care of it personally.

And I assure you that it will be a pleasure.

A bulletproof vest won't help you this time.

One more step and I'll kill you.

Bulletproof vest...

Shoot, you idiot!

No, no!

No!

It was not easy to enlist them in the big city.

When they arrived they were happy,

although they did not cease to be surprised by various things,

The likes of which they had never seen in their village.

Hippocrates, you will see everything you taught me.

Wait!

Hey, you guys out there!

Stop the evil creatures from the abyss,

I chase away you evil spirits,

To go away and disappear without excuses

All the evil you have conjured up,

Or the sorcery you have wrought.

I exorcise you, demonic creatures,

So that the evil comes out of you,

To.

Ay, see what a nasty head, like an onion.

Not only horrible but also insolent.

Don't worry, Jacinto,

I will turn them into toads.

That's what it's all about!

Let me go, I didn't do anything!

Let me go!

We can fight, but one on one!

Shut up, you idiot.

I already told you.

Sure, a...

Yes, well.

Ey, where are you taking her?

Calm down!

Where are you going?

Let me go!

Please, sir, it's not their fault.

I'm very sorry, but I can't let them go,

For disorderly conduct on the street is 18h of arrest.

I have no words.

I will leave my address so they know where to find me.

Do not worry, tomorrow before seven o'clock they will be free.

Thank you very much, goodbye.

You're welcome.

It was one of those strange days,

When nothing is as it should be.

My friends were in prison, and I was at my breaking point.

Alone and empty-handed.

Destiny quickly confronted me with the past.

Many memories came back at the sight of the luminous advertisement.

I felt an unstoppable urge to visit this strange place.

What would you like to drink?

I'll have a lemonade, please.

We don't have lemonade.

Only sangría is served.

Well, it's sangría.

Crime in La Merced

Who are you?

Come.

I waited a long time for this moment.

What do you want to talk about?

You are Magdalena, aren't you?

How do you know my name?

I know a lot of things.

For example, the fact that you are a famous archaeologist,

You specialize in Aztec culture.

Did you spy on me?

On the contrary.

You were the one who researched me.

But it doesn't matter,

Without a doubt, you are the chosen one.

Chosen for what?

You will soon find out.

The phone is about to ring.

Will you answer, please?

Hello.

Is Vladimir there?

It's Yvonne Casas, I don't want to talk to her.

No, he is not there, who is talking?

Yvonne Casas.

Don't you know where I can find it?

He wants to invite me to a party, but I don't want to go.

I wanted to invite him to a party tonight.

Do you know where I can find it?

No, he is not coming back tonight.

But I can tell him something.

Thank you.

By.

Unbelievable.

You predicted what he would say.

I also know that you will fall in love with me

And from then on there will be no other man for you,

Nor another woman for me.

Master, car ready.

Damn, you're getting faster and faster,

you've already sucked it up.

You hit me with the door, idiot.

Cab!

Cab!

Magdalena, don't go away.

Why not?

You can't disappear from my life like that.

What do you say?

Look into my eyes.

Look into my eyes!

Car ready, master.

Idiot!

Now what have I done, my lord?

You bumped me into Batman pride.

Wait.

It was a pleasure to meet you, goodbye.

Cattle, lower the glass.

Idio...

Wait.

Magdalena.

You can't go yet

Why not?

I have to show you something,

But not here,

in the office.

Let me just take care of a small detail.

Master, don't overdo it.

Keep in mind that your power does not work on me.

I was just pretending.

But I don't!

No need to resort to violence!

Champion.

What's up, Igor?

Fuck you!

Ah, the mentality of small people.

Shall we go?

Shall we go?

After that strange night,

Jacinto, not knowing what happened

stole Hippocrates' book of spells

and began to prepare the potion,

That I would fall in love with him.

I met this wonderful man, the owner of this place,

took me to the office

And we made love like we had never made love with anyone before.

On the first date?

What kind of woman are you?

Magdalena.

What's going on with you?

You're kind of stunned.

Magdalena, your heliotrope tea for a hangover.

Drink.

Thank you, Jacinto

Don't worry about me,

was very good.

For the first time I feel full of life.

After the woman drinks tea,

man,

In this case, me,

must add a bit of elephant liver,

To withstand taxes.

Also, rat claws,

To succeed in the trade.

And freshly pulled teeth of a wild horse.

Ay, I don't have that.

And here we have a wild horse.

And if it's not wild, I'll work on it.

Come on, little one.

Magdalena, haven't you noticed that you are under the influence of a charm?

Don't try to change me,

haven't you noticed that I finally found true love?

Fucking horse

All for the Magdalena dupe.

But he whacked me.

And it's right on the nose.

Let's hope he doesn't break it for me.

And what happened to the vampire?

That's what you called me for.

Vampire?

For some reason, I'm all over it now.

Other than that, it's silly.

I only want to think about my new love.

As Jacinto curtsied after kicking his horse,

Hippocrates accidentally drank the second potion,

Which Jacinto prepared to complete the love spell

I don't know what it was, but it was delicious.

Why did I come here?

And, she will take a bath.

Will she take a bath?

She's going to take a bath!

She's going to take a bath, and I'm going to peep her!

No!

Love!

You were right, I am possessed by a vampire!

You need to regain your composure, Magdalena.

We must be strong to fight it.

But why me?

After I embraced him and felt his warmth

I felt caught in the snare of this wonderful man,

Which offered me protection.

He turned into the most handsome man,

I've ever seen.

And then I realized that he was the one.

How wonderful you are!

Don't.

Impossible.

No one knows who they are working for.

Okay, I'll at least look at it.

What a body!

In 1425

the last memory of the cruel murderer of the Dracula genus takes place.

The main features of this monster are

its youthful appearance

and interest in women with large breasts.

Let's see.

Oi!

You could be a victim!

I mean, does he like boobies?

Kurd's tastes are Western.

Ay, listen to this!

The vampire has to bite her three times,

To enslave her completely.

But why me?

He could have chosen another woman!

It was you who pulled the knife out of his heart,

Him is enough.

But you know what?

I am prepared to protect Magdalena.

Right.

Hippocrates, put it there, you need to protect the whole house.

Beloved, open your eyes.

Magdalena, my queen,

come to me/

Magdalene, Love,

I am finally with you.

I have come to take you forever.

Come to me, come to me.

Don't think so much.

Don't resist any longer.

Let me come in.

Don't resist destiny.

I need you.

Open the window, please.

I can't.

These underdogs protected the house with holy water,

Garlic and onion.

I can't do anything without your help.

What should I do?

Come to the door and invite me inside,

And we will combine our millennial destinies.

You are as beautiful as ever.

There is a mysterious glint in your eyes,

Who casts captivating spells.

Come on in, baby.

You can't guess how much I've been waiting for this moment.

Magdalena, never invite a vampire into your home!

Exactly!

Because you will double his powers and he will become invincible.

And you? Who are you?

I'm Great Jacinto, and there you have it!

You are an idiot, Jacinta,

All my ancestors are Jewish.

Yes? Then look what I have

Heil Hitler!

Suck it!

You used the Bat Bible!

Yes, Bat Hippocrates.

Then you'd better find Bat a bike, because you've pissed him off a bit.

Do something! Do something!

This one, I'll make friends with him so he doesn't get annoyed.

Do something!

No!

No, no, no!

Magdalena, call Bat ambulance,

And I'll stick it back in the uterus.

You know what, I don't need much,

lightly with a leaf is enough.

AJ, what a bat fuck.

And the vampire?

You know him, he flew.

His fart, I was already about to slap his face.

A ma- ma?

She stayed in Catemaco.

Ma- ma- Magdalena.

Meaning?

Where is it?

She was taken by a vampire,

going after.

Do you want to go to the restroom?

No, we are going for it.

Everything you see is yours,

this is your kingdom.

From here you will be able to rule the whole world.

What do you want from me?

For centuries I have awaited your arrival,

From now on you will be my eternal companion in the dark.

Why me?

You had the courage to free me from the captive dagger,

You interrupted my endless pain.

It's here.

Yes.

They must be in.

Wait a minute, without steam you can't enter.

The ladies are already inside, waiting for us.

No matter, fall.

We...

I said fall.

Pardon?

Go to hell!

Cursed villagers!

My love, I offer you everything I have,

My knowledge of the world and wealth.

You will be at my side to rule with me the forces of hell.

With me you will change,

Like a worm into a beautiful butterfly.

Come on, come on.

Why the hell did I have to be the one to change?

Because I am the sorcerer.

Besides, men are taller than women.

Like talking about politicians and their scandals.

Calm down already.

How do I calm myself down?

Hippocrates, as you have already turned me into a woman,

Did you leave me something of mine?

Just the fact that to pee you will have to sit down.

Calm down, honey, it's nothing.

Don't be complacent, your makeup will run off.

Eyeliner.

Why did I...

I just ...

Hippocrates, this is the last time you turn me into a woman.

Calm down!

What peace of mind? I'd rather be a toad then.

Already.

Didn't you see that when we went in he grabbed my ass?

Enough, I know it's hard to be a woman.

Have you seen this girl?

I've had enough.

I won't be able to go on like this.

Hippocrates, if I get pregnant won't you leave me?

Don't be obnoxious!

Finally, I met a companion as if from a dream,

She is so different from other women.

I like her style.

Good thing you powdered the nose, it stands out less.

Instead of heels, you should take crutches.

Hippocrates, you won't leave me alone, will you?

Why?

Did you see the way this guy looks at me?

Which one?

Ibid.

Don't worry.

Why?

He's not a guy.

And, good.

Worry about these two,

they're coming for you.

They go, they go, attention.

You're coming with us.

Take care, my love.

Don't let yourself get pregnant.

Don't leave me!

Say no to drugs

Hippocrates, don't leave me!

Come with me baby.

Hippocrates, he wants to get me pregnant!

No, I just want to invite you to dance.

- But not too close, dwarf. - Right.

Please bachelor.

What is it about?

You can hold my ass.

But at least take off your watch, guest.

You hooked me with a buckle,

Until my eyes bugged out.

After biting me a second time

The vampire chained me to the floor of his castle,

¿To check in on me the next night

The diabolical ritual of the third bite,

after which I would swap forever more

into a devilish creature like him.

Honey, wake up.

We go from there.

Magdalena.

What's going on?

Nothing, you've already been bitten twice by this scoundrel.

We're going to go from here to love.

No, we can't go.

Why?

He must be killed!

No, as if why?

Don't be like that.

Besides, we don't have anything.

We have,

I hid it last night.

You have.

Let's go.

But are you sure?

Let's go.

Let's go.

Ay, sweetie, let's go from here, it's terrible!

We will kill him today.

But why? The poor gentleman is sleeping, why should we disturb him.

Look, is there anyone there?

You see, there is no one.

Don't be a coward,

that's what I got you for.

It can't be done.

You are not fit for anything.

And you gave advice.

Bring it on!

You give! You are the one possessed

Break free, kill him.

Bring it on!

You're on your way!

I can't, he has power over me,

you do it, it's a man's job.

Hurry up!

I'll go for Jacinto, he's a good guy.

We must now, before it is too late.

This one time...

Come on, kill him!

...I need ...

Not this side!

And right, the other way around!

Why did you dare to enter my house?

It's not me, it's her.

Idiot!

Scabby worm!

Why did you dare to disturb my sleep?

And interfere between Magdalena and me?

Enough, please.

Magdalena, come here!

Come on, quick!

Love!

Let's go from there.

We need to kill him once and right.

No honey, come on, let's go

Let it burn on its own.

Caution.

Magdalena,

Running away to another city will not solve your problem.

I have to do something before this beast enslaves me.

But escape?

Wherever you go, he will find you.

This is a nightmare I can't wake up from.

The only good thing is that we got to know each other.

See him, yesterday we were almost killed by a vampire,

AND you're just back from a party?

On the contrary, it was you who left me at the disco.

Okay, forget it.

We need to think about what to do with this cursed vampire.

Don't worry,

I have an excellent plan, listen.

I chatted with Igor, he's an okay dwarf.

We had a heart-to-heart talk and agreed....

Please stand up, master.

The awaited hour has arrived.

Please stand up, third bite today.

As I recall...

What did you do last night?

At night?

The night I was attacked!

I was at the event, the master.

Come here, dwarf!

Idiot!

You went to a party

And you did not protect me from the sunrise.

Please don't beat me, master!

I had a five-hundred year gap,

please forgive me.

Right.

I'll forgive you this time,

Because today is my day.

The most important in my long existence.

Today I will finally have the woman destined for me,

We will be together and she will take care of me forever and ever.

Maybe you can stop being so persistent.

What are you whispering there?

Nothing, master.

Fly to meet your destiny.

Fly.

A strange night, a lot of people down there.

What's going on?

Is there a carnival or what?

I need to investigate this.

Excuse me, what's going on?

But what?

Why are there so many people?

Are they celebrating something, this late at night?

At night?

Are you the one who doesn't know?

This is the first in years.

Can you tell me what this is all about?

Ay, please, there is a solar eclipse in progress.

Ay, eclipse

The eclipse, the eclipse!

Take a look, it's already being unveiled,

comes out one side.

It's 14, please.

14?

Isn't it beautiful?

Igor!

You are a son of a bitch, Igor!

But this guy is twisted.

Scoundrels, scabby quacks!

It's an eclipse.

Igor didn't warn me about the sun!

Because you don't watch the forecast on TV.

You can't do anything, the sun weakens your powers.

You can't even fly!

You fell into a trap, Igor told us

And we came for you.

Kill you!

You are all stupid,

I can still go back to the castle and recuperate.

And I swear,

That later that night you will all die

There is no land where my power will not reach you.

Where are you going?

No, digging is not allowed.

What are you so upset about if you are winning?

How do you feel, Jacinto?

Oy, Hippocrates.

This vampire, with or without the sun, always has to give me a headache.

I think you already know what we have to do.

Let's catch him before he finds some dark place

and regain his powers.

Why don't you look for it yourself?

I always get a chuckle.

Because that's what I got you for, to get you first.

But good, now the level was more even.

And it's true.

Well, exactly how do I ...

Igor.

We'll get even in the castle.

You have betrayed the prince of darkness,

Now you will all die.

And you Magdalena, you will pay dearly for your betrayal.

The truth is that you have always tormented me!

Besides, why endure 1500 years with a difficult character?

Without you, I will own the entire fortune!

You won't have time to escape anymore,

The sun will come out soon.

I gave you life,

I feel responsible for it,

So I'll be the one to end your life.

No one can kill me,

Because I am invincible!

It's not for you!

No!

Right now, love.

It's all over now.

Jacinto and his vampires

After the death of the vampire, Jacinto inherited the cabaret

and organized an original dance show

With beautiful girls.

Be bolder, deadbeats!

Show your pinks.

Let the black eye be visible.

Move the corpse, move the corpse.

Good, good!

I'm already rich.

What a mistake I made living in dirty basements

full of dust.

Everything was old.

I ate insects from the canals,

And I prefer tropical insects.

Now kiss me, lover.

Igor became a millionaire and enjoyed life.

At the time, Hippocrates, my dear husband,...

see for yourself what happened to him.

...twins...

Bli- twins!

Yes, twins.

Twins, can I see them?

Which way?

Up here.

And here, thank you.

Love how happy I am.

Ay, love,

THEY'RE twins.

Are you satisfied?

I'm happy.

See how beautiful they are.

I'm just sick of the way they bite.

Do they bite? Toddlers have no teeth

Yes? Then watch them.

And so it was.

Hippocrates and I lived happily ever after.

I love him and he loves me very much too.

The only thing that disturbed our happiness was the following.

I could not convince him that our twins are his

And no one else.