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WOMAN: Previously
onMad About You...
2
00:00:04,418 --> 00:00:05,660
I was just thinking...
3
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,490
And no implication here
but I was gonna leave
4
00:00:07,490 --> 00:00:09,285
so do you want to split a cab?
5
00:00:09,285 --> 00:00:11,632
Actually,
I thought I'd take a walk.
6
00:00:11,632 --> 00:00:14,152
Okay.
Do you want to split a walk?
7
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,843
-What's the matter with you?
-I know.
8
00:00:15,843 --> 00:00:17,914
I don't know what's going on.
I mean, I-- I--
9
00:00:17,914 --> 00:00:20,227
I really wanted to go with her.
10
00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:22,091
Jamie and I aren't doing
so great right now.
11
00:00:28,235 --> 00:00:29,374
We have to talk.
12
00:00:29,926 --> 00:00:31,824
I kissed Doug Berkus.
13
00:00:31,824 --> 00:00:33,481
I got to get out of here.
14
00:00:33,481 --> 00:00:35,552
I can't really be here
right now.
15
00:00:35,552 --> 00:00:37,313
-Where are you going?
-I don't know where.
16
00:00:37,313 --> 00:00:38,900
-Are you coming back?
-I don't know.
17
00:00:38,900 --> 00:00:40,454
Shouldn't we talk about this?
18
00:00:40,454 --> 00:00:43,457
No. I can't talk about this now.
I can't talk.
19
00:00:43,457 --> 00:00:45,114
Okay, wait, just wait.
20
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:47,806
What's gonna happen now?
What happens now?
21
00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:49,325
I don't know, I don't know.
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,293
I'm-- I'm...
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00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,193
I don't know.
24
00:00:56,642 --> 00:00:59,576
-I got nothing to say to her.
-He's got nothing to say to her.
25
00:00:59,576 --> 00:01:02,545
-He has nothing to say to you.
-He has nothing to say to me?
26
00:01:02,545 --> 00:01:05,548
Listen, my parents don't know
anything about this, so...
27
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,101
And they don't need to know,
so...
28
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,965
Can we just pretend,
for at least the afternoon,
29
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,449
that we're still us.
30
00:01:10,449 --> 00:01:11,519
Okay.
31
00:01:12,451 --> 00:01:15,834
If we could either move
the anniversary party
32
00:01:15,834 --> 00:01:17,870
-or the engagement party--
-[SNORTS]
33
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,735
"Engagement party."
Thank you, sweetheart.
34
00:01:21,219 --> 00:01:24,256
All right, why don't we cut
to the chase, okay?
35
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:25,706
Who's gonna change
the party date?
36
00:01:26,327 --> 00:01:27,915
I give you $10,000.
37
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BOTH: Sold.
38
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♪ [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
39
00:02:43,991 --> 00:02:45,889
ZIGGY: May I
have your attention, everybody?
40
00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:47,891
May I have your attention?
41
00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:50,687
Why aren't you standing
next to your wife?
42
00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:52,413
Because I'm not.
43
00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:54,139
May I have your attention,
everybody?
44
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:55,830
I know it's none of my business.
45
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,039
Go stand next to your wife.
46
00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,662
Tabbouleh?
47
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:02,354
-[GROANS]
-[CLATTER]
48
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:04,356
May I have your attention?
49
00:03:05,806 --> 00:03:09,465
I'll give you each 60 bucks
for your attention.
50
00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:15,402
Suckers. I would've gone to 80.
51
00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,475
First, let me say that I am sure
52
00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:23,720
that you are as surprised
as I am to be here
53
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,827
to toast my son's engagement.
54
00:03:26,827 --> 00:03:29,001
I thought for the sure,
the kid was gay.
55
00:03:29,692 --> 00:03:31,452
[LAUGHTER]
56
00:03:32,591 --> 00:03:36,423
My son, Sanford,
met a wonderful girl.
57
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:40,185
Dumped her and then met Lisa.
58
00:03:41,428 --> 00:03:43,395
But I kid. I kid.
59
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:49,643
And I look forward
to the nuts and bolts
60
00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:53,440
of the 218-page pre-nup
being hammered out
61
00:03:53,992 --> 00:03:57,651
and we can all gather together
at the wedding
62
00:03:57,651 --> 00:03:59,722
to say, "Go figure."
63
00:04:02,380 --> 00:04:04,968
And so now, we raise our glasses
64
00:04:04,968 --> 00:04:08,351
-to my son, Sanford...
-GUESTS: Hear, hear.
65
00:04:08,351 --> 00:04:10,974
...and to his fiancée, Lisa.
66
00:04:10,974 --> 00:04:12,459
Enjoy yourselves.
67
00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,737
And for God's sake,
don't break anything.
68
00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:16,256
[LAUGHTER]
69
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,292
Ahh.
70
00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:21,537
You know, you got to come
to my club next weekend
71
00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:25,195
and then I'll tell you
all about dookie ball.
72
00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:27,853
-"Dookie ball"?
-Yeah.
73
00:04:28,371 --> 00:04:30,062
It's gonna sweep the nation.
74
00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:33,894
-Honey, congratulations.
-Oh, thank you.
75
00:04:35,033 --> 00:04:36,931
I'm not feeling great.
I'm gonna go.
76
00:04:36,931 --> 00:04:39,520
-Did you talk to him?
-This isn't the time or place.
77
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,040
Okay, okay but at least
come say goodbye to Sanford.
78
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:44,422
Happiest day of my life.
79
00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:47,459
-You got a great girl there.
-Don't I, though?
80
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:49,634
Hey, Sanford, Jamie wants
to say goodbye to you.
81
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:52,257
-I wish you every happiness.
-Thanks.
82
00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:53,465
Amen.
83
00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:54,570
There you are.
84
00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:56,813
Burt and Sylvia.
I'm so glad you could make it.
85
00:04:56,813 --> 00:04:58,850
We wouldn't have missed it
for the world.
86
00:04:58,850 --> 00:05:00,507
I wanna tell you, kids,
one thing.
87
00:05:00,507 --> 00:05:02,647
In the end,
money means nothing.
88
00:05:02,647 --> 00:05:04,545
Oh, I wouldn't say nothing.
89
00:05:04,545 --> 00:05:05,753
It means something
90
00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:07,962
but it means very little
compared to love.
91
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:11,138
Dad, that's true.
But trust even more than love,
92
00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:14,037
don't you think? Because really,
what's love if there's no trust?
93
00:05:14,037 --> 00:05:16,592
Hmm, maybe you're right.
Trust above everything.
94
00:05:16,592 --> 00:05:18,663
Yeah. You hear that, honey?
95
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:21,010
Apparently,
trust above everything else.
96
00:05:21,010 --> 00:05:22,114
I'll talk to you later.
97
00:05:22,977 --> 00:05:24,910
Where you going?
I didn't say-- He said it.
98
00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,430
-Did I say something wrong?
-No, no. She's just...
99
00:05:35,404 --> 00:05:38,234
-Hey, hey.
-You are such a jackass.
100
00:05:38,234 --> 00:05:40,029
-I'm a jackass?
-Yes.
101
00:05:40,029 --> 00:05:42,169
Fine, so leave me
for another guy. why don't you?
102
00:05:42,169 --> 00:05:44,413
I'm not leaving you. God.
103
00:05:44,413 --> 00:05:45,897
You're hitting me. Interesting.
104
00:05:46,484 --> 00:05:47,519
What do you wanna do?
105
00:05:48,865 --> 00:05:50,073
I don't know.
106
00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:51,385
You wanna go home and talk?
107
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,870
No, no I can't go home.
I don't like our home.
108
00:05:53,870 --> 00:05:55,458
Do you wanna go somewhere else
and talk?
109
00:05:56,286 --> 00:05:57,633
-Not particularly.
-Okay, fine.
110
00:05:57,633 --> 00:05:59,289
-Where you going?
-If you don't wanna talk--
111
00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:00,601
-Who said I didn't wanna?
-You.
112
00:06:00,601 --> 00:06:02,776
-I did not.
-I just said, Do you wanna talk?
113
00:06:02,776 --> 00:06:04,433
I didn't like
the way you said it.
114
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,990
I'm so tired
of not talking to you.
115
00:06:09,990 --> 00:06:11,232
Then talk to me.
116
00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:19,240
-How you doing?
-I'm fine.
117
00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,624
I don't trust you anymore.
118
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,351
Well, if you're never gonna
trust me again--
119
00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:28,008
-Did I say that?
-No, but the way--
120
00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,941
Why don't you stop
putting words in my mouth.
121
00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:31,425
-I'm sorry.
-Thank you. Geez.
122
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,911
All right. Go ahead. Go ahead.
123
00:06:35,705 --> 00:06:39,157
You don't trust me anymore...
Because...
124
00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,124
Because?
125
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:46,026
Because I kissed another man?
126
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:50,099
Yeah. That's certainly
not a plus, you know.
127
00:06:50,444 --> 00:06:52,032
That's not something
that exactly
128
00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:53,413
endears you more to me.
129
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:57,037
Okay, listen to me.
130
00:06:58,072 --> 00:06:59,833
I am so sorry.
131
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,595
I could not be more sorry.
132
00:07:03,595 --> 00:07:07,081
If I have to apologize every day
for the rest of my life,
133
00:07:07,081 --> 00:07:09,670
then I will, okay?
I am that sorry.
134
00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:32,624
I thought you did
a very nice job at the party.
135
00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:35,075
Thanks.
136
00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:40,460
How does this happen
all of a sudden?
137
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,014
It's not all of a sudden.
138
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,639
Why do you think I kept saying
we need time together?
139
00:07:48,571 --> 00:07:51,125
Why I kept pushing for us
to get away together?
140
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,058
I knew something was going on.
141
00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:54,853
-With Berkus?
-With us.
142
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,581
This guy is not the problem.
143
00:07:59,548 --> 00:08:00,825
You kissed him.
144
00:08:02,412 --> 00:08:03,448
You know?
145
00:08:04,242 --> 00:08:05,623
You kissed him. Do you know
146
00:08:05,623 --> 00:08:07,417
what that's like for me
to have to imagine?
147
00:08:08,177 --> 00:08:11,421
That another guy's lips
were on your lips.
148
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:15,736
What kind of kiss was that?
You never even told me.
149
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:18,739
Like where--
Where were his hands?
150
00:08:18,739 --> 00:08:20,465
-Where were your hands?
-Stop it. Stop it.
151
00:08:20,465 --> 00:08:22,502
What were you doing? Seriously.
Like you stroking his hair--
152
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,227
-Really, stop it.
-Pulling him close to you.
153
00:08:24,227 --> 00:08:26,195
-You really wanna know?
-Yeah, I would like to know.
154
00:08:26,195 --> 00:08:27,403
-You're doing what?
-Fine.
155
00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:30,233
-He leaned in, I--
-Shut up. Shut up now.
156
00:08:30,233 --> 00:08:32,270
Well, then stop asking me
about it.
157
00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:34,652
How do I know
that this never happened before?
158
00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:37,378
-Because I'm telling you.
-So what's that?
159
00:08:37,378 --> 00:08:40,140
Honesty's your strongest
personality trait right now?
160
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,624
Actually, yes.
161
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:43,384
How do I know
what happened in Albany?
162
00:08:43,384 --> 00:08:45,559
-Nothing happened in Albany.
-Okay, says you.
163
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:46,940
I didn't even get to Albany.
164
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:49,736
I turned around and came back
because I wanted to be with you.
165
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,327
Well, I don't know, you know.
I just--
166
00:08:56,225 --> 00:08:57,433
I just--
167
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:02,818
-I just hate this.
-What?
168
00:09:02,818 --> 00:09:04,164
I just hate this.
169
00:09:04,164 --> 00:09:05,717
I'm gonna be 40 years old,
170
00:09:05,717 --> 00:09:08,030
and I'm standing in a park,
asking you questions like,
171
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,583
"Where were the guy's hands?"
172
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,689
I mean, it's just so...
173
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,415
It's just so pedestrian.
174
00:09:16,452 --> 00:09:18,247
Who said we're not pedestrian?
175
00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:20,525
I just always assumed
that you and I
176
00:09:20,525 --> 00:09:23,148
would be immune
to this kind of crap.
177
00:09:23,666 --> 00:09:25,288
Well, we're not.
178
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:29,465
When I started working
so hard this year
179
00:09:29,465 --> 00:09:31,053
and had to put in longer hours--
180
00:09:31,053 --> 00:09:33,642
-I always supported you.
-Yes, you did.
181
00:09:33,642 --> 00:09:36,092
I said you go
you do what you have to do.
182
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:37,369
-Yes, you did.
-Why?
183
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,268
Because I believed in you,
and I trusted you--
184
00:09:39,268 --> 00:09:40,614
No, because you liked it.
185
00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,927
I like what? I liked
you working with this guy?
186
00:09:42,927 --> 00:09:45,239
No. Me not being around.
Because that meant it was okay
187
00:09:45,239 --> 00:09:47,207
for you to not be around.
So that way
188
00:09:47,207 --> 00:09:49,243
everything was even
and nothing would be your fault.
189
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:52,108
-What wouldn't be my fault?
-Whatever is wrong with us.
190
00:09:52,108 --> 00:09:55,180
However much we drift apart,
however much we don't talk.
191
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,526
When don't we talk?
192
00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:58,218
Come on.
193
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,703
In the last three months
how many times
194
00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:02,532
have we eaten dinner together?
195
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,398
How many times have we done
something fun on a weekend?
196
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,574
When was the last we made love
because we wanted to
197
00:10:09,574 --> 00:10:12,128
not because
it was good clinical timing?
198
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:13,992
Tell me. When?
199
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:15,615
I don't know.
200
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,375
Is that what you want
out of marriage?
201
00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:20,689
Don't you think
we deserve better?
202
00:10:21,793 --> 00:10:24,382
First, I don't know anybody
who talks more than we do.
203
00:10:24,382 --> 00:10:27,040
I wouldn't wanna know anybody
who talks more than we do.
204
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,628
We're talking
but nobody is saying
205
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,147
the nasty, old, ugly truth.
206
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,529
-Which is what?
-This isn't working.
207
00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:37,671
I reach out for you
and you're not there.
208
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:39,397
I'm certainly not there for you.
209
00:10:39,397 --> 00:10:40,605
You've been working--
210
00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:42,296
Yes, I've been working
and you've been working
211
00:10:42,296 --> 00:10:44,195
and we're killing ourselves,
212
00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:46,369
and saving and planning,
and for what?
213
00:10:46,369 --> 00:10:48,613
For this baby that's not coming.
214
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:52,030
We've been trying a year
and it's not happening.
215
00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:53,238
What? Is that my fault?
216
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,551
No, it's not.
217
00:10:55,551 --> 00:10:58,002
God, what is wrong you?
It's like you're a child.
218
00:10:58,002 --> 00:11:00,452
-Thank you.
-Is that what you think I just--
219
00:11:00,452 --> 00:11:02,178
Well, the way you said it--
220
00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:05,665
-I'm not saying that!
-Okay. Fine. All right.
221
00:11:07,425 --> 00:11:09,565
It's just, you know,
it's not something
222
00:11:09,565 --> 00:11:11,740
that makes me feel
particularly swell,
223
00:11:11,740 --> 00:11:14,363
you know. I'm not exactly
doing my job in that department.
224
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:17,953
-You were tested. You're fine.
-So were you.
225
00:11:18,781 --> 00:11:20,714
-Yeah, but come on.
-What?
226
00:11:21,819 --> 00:11:23,234
Let's stop kidding ourselves.
227
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:25,098
If there's something wrong,
it's me.
228
00:11:25,098 --> 00:11:26,409
No. No.
229
00:11:26,893 --> 00:11:30,068
Look, the truth is,
you can always have kids,
230
00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:31,311
-whereas I--
-What's that mean?
231
00:11:31,311 --> 00:11:32,553
It means what it means.
232
00:11:32,553 --> 00:11:35,798
You can have kids,
so if I can't, then, fine.
233
00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:37,731
All right, fine. You'll move on.
234
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,526
-Move on?
-Yes, you'll leave--
235
00:11:39,526 --> 00:11:41,424
-Leave?
-You could.
236
00:11:41,424 --> 00:11:42,771
That's what you think?
237
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:44,462
If I was in your place,
238
00:11:44,462 --> 00:11:46,809
and it's my one chance
to father a child--
239
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:48,259
Well, then shame on you.
240
00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:52,366
Shame on you
if that's what you think of me,
241
00:11:52,884 --> 00:11:54,161
that I would leave you?
242
00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:57,544
I'm not saying you will.
243
00:11:57,544 --> 00:12:00,685
No, but if I do, in case I do,
you go find another guy
244
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,480
and why don't you leave me
first?
245
00:12:04,585 --> 00:12:05,725
Maybe.
246
00:12:11,420 --> 00:12:13,353
How can you doubt my love
for you?
247
00:12:16,183 --> 00:12:17,529
Because I do.
248
00:12:24,813 --> 00:12:26,124
Well, then, you know what?
249
00:12:27,229 --> 00:12:28,817
You will never get it.
250
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:31,336
-What?
-You just--
251
00:12:34,305 --> 00:12:35,755
If you can't have kids,
252
00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:37,791
I can't have kids.
253
00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:40,967
Whatever happens to you
happens to me.
254
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,419
Whatever happens, happens to us.
Do you not get that by now?
255
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,147
I thought I did.
256
00:12:52,841 --> 00:12:55,326
You know, I don't know
how to be a better husband.
257
00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:57,052
I really don't
258
00:12:58,363 --> 00:12:59,917
and I think
I'm pretty damn good.
259
00:13:00,538 --> 00:13:02,091
-You are.
-Thank you.
260
00:13:02,989 --> 00:13:06,509
-And so am I.
-Yes, you are. Yes, of course.
261
00:13:06,509 --> 00:13:09,202
I think we're both
pretty damn good.
262
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,002
And yet, nobody here is happy.
263
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:26,909
I told you.
264
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,881
-What?
-I told you when I met you.
265
00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:34,020
Two people--
266
00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:36,229
Together forever...
267
00:13:37,402 --> 00:13:39,439
It's not realistic.
I think it's--
268
00:13:39,888 --> 00:13:41,268
I think it's too hard.
269
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:47,343
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
270
00:13:49,069 --> 00:13:50,519
So maybe this is it.
271
00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:53,246
You know,
we gave it our best shot.
272
00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:56,007
This is as far as we got.
273
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,839
It's a lot farther
than most people get, you know.
274
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:03,843
Maybe.
275
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:10,297
Really?
276
00:14:12,196 --> 00:14:14,232
I don't know
how to do better than this.
277
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:22,102
So...
278
00:14:25,243 --> 00:14:26,831
Sew buttons.
279
00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:37,911
Um, would you do me a favor,
and...
280
00:14:40,017 --> 00:14:42,743
Would you tell your sister
that I'm sorry? I don't--
281
00:14:42,743 --> 00:14:43,883
Okay.
282
00:18:38,945 --> 00:18:40,291
Am I dreaming?
283
00:18:49,473 --> 00:18:52,717
I'm sorry.
I'm really just so sorry.
284
00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:55,720
You don't have to be sorry.
I'm the one who has to be sorry.
285
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,517
I just want you.
286
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:01,312
I love you.
287
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:05,903
I just love you.
288
00:19:11,771 --> 00:19:13,980
-I don't care how hard it is.
-I don't, either.
289
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:17,156
I do really-- I love you,
290
00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:18,605
is the thing.
291
00:20:02,373 --> 00:20:05,342
[ALARM CLOCK TICKING]
292
00:20:10,726 --> 00:20:12,314
[ALARM CLOCK DINGS]
21222
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