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1
00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,038
PAUL: Let me ask you something.
2
00:00:04,763 --> 00:00:07,041
How many calories you think
you burn off having sex?
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,147
I don't know. Maybe 300, 400.
4
00:00:09,837 --> 00:00:12,702
Okay. So that's pretty much
as if we had sex last night.
5
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,808
And because
I'm a very caring lover,
6
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,155
a little something for you.
7
00:00:18,363 --> 00:00:19,502
Thank you.
8
00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:21,366
So what are you doing today?
9
00:00:21,366 --> 00:00:23,816
I am gonna shower,
and then take it from there.
10
00:00:24,369 --> 00:00:26,785
-What about the interview?
-What interview?
11
00:00:26,785 --> 00:00:28,545
I thought you were meeting
with Channel 57.
12
00:00:28,545 --> 00:00:29,753
Oh, yeah,
that didn't feel right.
13
00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:31,962
Didn't feel right?
14
00:00:31,962 --> 00:00:34,034
No, 57.
It's just too high a channel.
15
00:00:36,174 --> 00:00:37,658
Honey, you've been out of work--
16
00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:39,660
No, no, between jobs.
17
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,835
You've been between jobs
for almost six weeks.
18
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:45,217
Do you think maybe something
is gonna feel right soon?
19
00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:47,081
Hey, I would love to feel right.
20
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,670
It's just the truth is there
aren't that many jobs out there.
21
00:00:49,670 --> 00:00:51,706
-There are plenty of jobs.
-Not at my level.
22
00:00:51,706 --> 00:00:52,949
And what level is that?
23
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,400
It's not a low level.
24
00:00:57,609 --> 00:00:59,059
The thing you have to realize is
25
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,922
my whole universe
is different now.
26
00:01:00,922 --> 00:01:02,234
I won a Silver Sprocket award
27
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:04,788
so I have to be very selective
about where I go next.
28
00:01:04,788 --> 00:01:07,032
Don't forget unemployment, 3:00.
29
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,622
Yeah, but you notice
this is the very best
30
00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:11,795
unemployment office they have
31
00:01:11,795 --> 00:01:13,556
with the good pens
and everything.
32
00:01:13,556 --> 00:01:15,627
-Hi, is Jonathan there?
-Who's Jonathan?
33
00:01:15,627 --> 00:01:17,007
-It's the caterer?
-Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:19,148
It's Jamie Buchman.
Thank you.
35
00:01:19,148 --> 00:01:21,081
I can't believe your sister
is marrying a guy
36
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,323
worth $400 million,
37
00:01:22,323 --> 00:01:23,945
and you have to do
all the planning.
38
00:01:23,945 --> 00:01:25,326
I want to do the planning.
39
00:01:25,326 --> 00:01:27,225
Jonathan, hi,
I just want to confirm the date.
40
00:01:27,225 --> 00:01:29,710
It's on the 12th. Okay.
Thanks a lot, Jonathan.
41
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,815
-Bye-bye.
-Which 12th?
42
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:35,371
-The 12th. This 12th. The 12th.
-No, no, no,
43
00:01:35,371 --> 00:01:37,097
-it can't be on the 12th.
-Why?
44
00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:40,065
The 12th. The 12th is my parents
anniversary party.
45
00:01:40,997 --> 00:01:42,861
You never told me
it was on the 12th.
46
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,483
I told you
it was on their anniversary.
47
00:01:44,483 --> 00:01:45,760
Their anniversary
is on the 12th.
48
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,141
It has been for years.
49
00:01:48,315 --> 00:01:49,695
Well, we're gonna have
to change that.
50
00:01:50,834 --> 00:01:53,182
Well, while we're at it,
can I move my birthday to June?
51
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,356
We have to change the party.
52
00:01:55,356 --> 00:01:57,807
-Change Lisa's party.
-I just booked a museum.
53
00:01:58,428 --> 00:02:00,603
Well,
I booked the 2nd Avenue Deli.
54
00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:02,156
Oh, well, then.
55
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:03,951
PAUL: And not just a deli.
56
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:06,022
I booked the back,
the Yank of the Goater Room.
57
00:02:06,436 --> 00:02:08,197
You have to book
that months in advanced.
58
00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:10,130
We'll have to get another deli.
59
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,545
There's no other deli
60
00:02:11,545 --> 00:02:13,133
and besides
that's where my father proposed.
61
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,411
Your father proposed
at the 2nd Avenue Deli?
62
00:02:15,411 --> 00:02:18,345
-Over a plate of garlic pickles.
-Wow.
63
00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:21,106
Actually, he had to stop
in the middle of the proposal--
64
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,866
"Sylvia, would you,
waaaa, marry me?"
65
00:02:24,282 --> 00:02:25,904
Very romantic man, my father.
66
00:02:26,629 --> 00:02:28,734
We have to figure this out.
I need your help.
67
00:02:28,734 --> 00:02:31,185
-What you want me to do?
-I want you to fix it.
68
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,118
-What are you doing?
-I'm going to work.
69
00:02:33,498 --> 00:02:36,811
-I'll-- I'll see what I can do.
-All right. Thank you.
70
00:02:37,364 --> 00:02:38,848
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
71
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,539
Thank you.
72
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,059
IRA: I thought you were signing up for unemployment.
73
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:44,992
PAUL: What? Does everybody
have to know about this?
74
00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:48,754
-I gotta talk to you.
-So talk. I'm listening.
75
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:51,964
It's about-- It's about a girl.
76
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:54,139
-What do you mean? For me?
-No.
77
00:02:55,313 --> 00:02:57,315
Hey, start talking, Paulie.
78
00:02:58,419 --> 00:03:00,766
Last Friday,
I went to the Sprockets
79
00:03:00,766 --> 00:03:02,112
I won the award, you know,
80
00:03:02,112 --> 00:03:04,736
and I-- I was there by myself
because Jamie's up in Albany,
81
00:03:04,736 --> 00:03:08,153
so there was this woman
at the bar,
82
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:10,155
and we started talking,
and she's like beautiful.
83
00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:12,157
She's just really sweet,
you know?
84
00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:16,057
She's into film and--
and intelligent and...
85
00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:18,922
-And what? What happened?
-And we took a walk.
86
00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:20,200
You and this woman?
87
00:03:20,683 --> 00:03:21,753
Yeah.
88
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:23,789
What the hell
is the matter with you?
89
00:03:23,789 --> 00:03:25,653
I know. I don't know
what's going on.
90
00:03:25,653 --> 00:03:28,449
I-- I-- I really wanted
to go with her.
91
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:30,831
Jamie and I, we're not doing
so great right now.
92
00:03:30,831 --> 00:03:32,453
-You're not?
-No.
93
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,904
Really? How come?
94
00:03:35,353 --> 00:03:36,768
Because-- I don't know.
95
00:03:37,665 --> 00:03:40,150
Oh, man, Paulie, I'm sorry.
I mean, what is it?
96
00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:42,083
Is it the whole thing
with the pregnancy thing?
97
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:43,844
Well, actually, yeah.
98
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:45,639
Or maybe the fact
that you're unemployed?
99
00:03:45,639 --> 00:03:46,847
That's not helping.
100
00:03:46,847 --> 00:03:48,607
Maybe it's the fact
that you haven't spent
101
00:03:48,607 --> 00:03:49,988
-much time together, huh?
-All right.
102
00:03:49,988 --> 00:03:52,577
So why do you even ask me?
Yes, it's all those things.
103
00:03:52,577 --> 00:03:54,130
I'm sorry. I had no idea.
104
00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:55,994
You guys have one
of the greatest marriages
105
00:03:55,994 --> 00:03:57,444
of anybody I've ever met.
106
00:03:57,892 --> 00:03:59,894
Well, thank you,
107
00:03:59,894 --> 00:04:02,621
but, I mean, I don't know
what to tell her.
108
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:03,967
Tell her? About what?
109
00:04:04,382 --> 00:04:05,900
About this woman.
110
00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:07,937
Why would you tell her?
What is wrong with you?
111
00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:10,353
If I don't tell her about
this, it's gonna get worse.
112
00:04:10,353 --> 00:04:12,873
Paulie, my professional advice
is you do not tell her.
113
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:17,187
Jonathan, don't tell me there's
no such thing as Egyptian food.
114
00:04:17,187 --> 00:04:18,430
Are there Egyptians?
115
00:04:19,431 --> 00:04:20,881
And how do they
nourish themselves?
116
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,125
That's right. Call me back.
117
00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:26,852
-Hey.
-Hey, where have you been?
118
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:28,337
What? It's 8:55.
119
00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:30,580
Oh, sorry.
120
00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:31,857
What's the matter with you?
121
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:36,068
-To tell you the truth--
-Wait. Wait until you hear this.
122
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,346
-What?
-Guess.
123
00:04:37,898 --> 00:04:39,313
I'm just not in the mood--
124
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,246
Oh, just guess. Give you a hint.
125
00:04:41,246 --> 00:04:42,316
Um...
126
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:44,284
You and Mark
are getting back together.
127
00:04:44,663 --> 00:04:45,733
Who told?
128
00:04:46,424 --> 00:04:49,599
It's your face.
It's either that or shoes.
129
00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:50,807
[WHOOPS]
130
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:53,776
Isn't it exciting?
I am so happy.
131
00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:55,812
It's like 1983 all over again.
132
00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:57,676
You remember
how we were in 1983?
133
00:04:57,676 --> 00:04:59,678
I only met you in '87,
but yes, yes.
134
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:02,992
Oh, you missed it.
We were great in '83,
135
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:06,306
but here's the part
that you cannot tell anybody.
136
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:08,549
I'm gonna quit.
137
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,310
Why?
138
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:13,105
You-- you love work.
You revel in it,
139
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,867
but to tell you the truth,
I'm sick of it.
140
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:18,007
Wow.
141
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:19,146
[SIGHS]
142
00:05:19,284 --> 00:05:22,252
-Maybe even have another kid.
-Fran, that would be great.
143
00:05:22,252 --> 00:05:24,324
Jamie, I am so happy. [SQUEALS]
144
00:05:24,772 --> 00:05:26,533
I am so happy.
145
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,500
-Are you happy?
-I'm very happy.
146
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,709
Now, you promise,
you cannot tell anybody yet.
147
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,848
No, no, no. Don't worry.
148
00:05:31,848 --> 00:05:34,195
I have to get out of the lease
on Mark's apartment.
149
00:05:34,195 --> 00:05:36,025
I got to pick up Ryan
from school
150
00:05:36,025 --> 00:05:37,509
and tell him the news.
151
00:05:38,096 --> 00:05:40,098
-What were you gonna tell me?
-Nothing.
152
00:05:40,098 --> 00:05:41,893
-Are you okay?
-No, I'm fine.
153
00:05:41,893 --> 00:05:43,791
-Good. I'll be back after lunch.
-Okay.
154
00:05:51,558 --> 00:05:52,593
[PHONE RINGING]
155
00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:55,458
-Lisa Stemple.
-Lisa, it's me.
156
00:05:55,803 --> 00:05:57,564
Do you have a minute?
I really need--
157
00:05:57,564 --> 00:05:58,737
LISA: Put that down.
158
00:05:59,669 --> 00:06:02,292
What is wrong with you?
Haven't you ever shopped before?
159
00:06:03,328 --> 00:06:06,262
-What did you want?
-Well, I was wondering--
160
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:08,229
Oh, by the way,
the Duchess of Gloucester
161
00:06:08,229 --> 00:06:09,748
is coming
to the engagement party.
162
00:06:09,748 --> 00:06:11,301
She eats like a pig.
163
00:06:11,301 --> 00:06:13,096
So we got to get more food. Okay?
164
00:06:13,096 --> 00:06:14,788
Now, what did you want?
165
00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:16,583
I don't know where to start.
166
00:06:16,583 --> 00:06:18,447
LISA: Oh, my God. I've gotta call you back.
167
00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:20,621
Some freak is taking advantage
of the mannequin.
168
00:06:20,621 --> 00:06:22,071
Put her down, sicko.
169
00:06:22,071 --> 00:06:23,728
I'll call you back. Bye.
170
00:06:24,107 --> 00:06:25,523
Okay, great.
171
00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:29,285
[SIGHS]
172
00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:31,977
-Hi.
-Hi.
173
00:06:31,977 --> 00:06:33,393
-You okay?
-Yeah.
174
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:36,050
Oh, yeah, head in the hands
universal symbol for okay.
175
00:06:36,050 --> 00:06:37,500
-No, no, no.
-Should I ask?
176
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:40,572
No, no, no, it's nothing.
It's-- it's no big deal.
177
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:44,093
I'm supposed to be at the Temple
of Dendur as we speak,
178
00:06:44,093 --> 00:06:46,406
arranging an engagement party
for my sister
179
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,478
and like 500 people
who apparently eat like 600
180
00:06:49,478 --> 00:06:50,789
and nobody knows what.
181
00:06:50,789 --> 00:06:51,825
But don't get me wrong
182
00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:53,723
I'm happy for my sister
who met a man
183
00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:56,761
who she's in love with
and who is in love with her.
184
00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:59,591
And who happens to be
worth $400 million.
185
00:06:59,591 --> 00:07:01,144
I'm trying to help her.
186
00:07:01,144 --> 00:07:03,008
I'm happy to help her,
and then...
187
00:07:03,388 --> 00:07:04,803
Fran just walked in
188
00:07:04,803 --> 00:07:07,737
and dropped
this life-changing news,
189
00:07:07,737 --> 00:07:09,532
which is-- which is great.
190
00:07:09,532 --> 00:07:11,500
It's just the timing
may not be great,
191
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,881
but... you can't control
everything,
192
00:07:13,881 --> 00:07:16,159
and... Paul is out of work.
193
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:17,782
And he doesn't seem
to be too eager
194
00:07:17,782 --> 00:07:19,439
to get back to work;
195
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,199
and we've been trying
to have a baby
196
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:23,063
since like before electricity.
197
00:07:23,615 --> 00:07:24,789
And...
198
00:07:25,272 --> 00:07:29,310
And we're failing for some
unknown mysterious reason.
199
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:31,623
Maybe it's a good reason,
and I don't even know
200
00:07:31,623 --> 00:07:34,005
if I would want to have a baby
at this point
201
00:07:34,005 --> 00:07:36,007
under these conditions.
202
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:39,148
I just-- I just I know it's not
happening like it's supposed to.
203
00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:42,116
-Which it?
-My life.
204
00:07:42,565 --> 00:07:44,705
I was-- I was on a path,
you know?
205
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:48,502
I felt like I was on a path, and
I was going to a certain place
206
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,780
I thought along a certain road
and now I don't know.
207
00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:53,542
I feel like I turned right
when I was supposed to turn left
208
00:07:53,542 --> 00:07:55,854
or I turned left when I should
have gone... straight.
209
00:07:55,854 --> 00:07:58,098
I don't know. It doesn't
even feel like my life anymore.
210
00:07:58,098 --> 00:07:59,513
It feels like a big jumble.
211
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:01,342
-Okay. It's okay.
-No, it's not.
212
00:08:01,342 --> 00:08:04,622
-It's not?
-No, it's not. It's a disaster.
213
00:08:04,622 --> 00:08:06,382
Maybe you're right.
I don't know.
214
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:08,073
Well, I can't figure it out,
215
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:10,351
and people have
their own problems
216
00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:12,837
which I understand
but I'm people too,
217
00:08:12,837 --> 00:08:15,253
and I think I'm the one
everybody comes to.
218
00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:16,979
And, now,
I need to go to somebody,
219
00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:19,395
and I can't go to anybody
because everyone's coming at me
220
00:08:19,395 --> 00:08:21,431
and I don't know
whether I'm coming or going.
221
00:08:21,431 --> 00:08:24,538
Jamie, Jamie, calm down.
It's all right. Hey, look, look,
222
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,575
I know I'm not exactly one
of your close friends
223
00:08:26,575 --> 00:08:27,714
and we just work together
224
00:08:27,714 --> 00:08:29,647
and we haven't known each other
all that long,
225
00:08:29,647 --> 00:08:31,752
-but I'm here for you.
-Thank you.
226
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,312
WOMAN: [ON TV] You do this
by taking your pulse.
227
00:09:14,312 --> 00:09:17,695
-WOMAN: [ON TV] And 1, 2, 3, 4.
-Hey, I don't have a pulse.
228
00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,800
WOMAN: [ON TV] 1, 2, 3, 4.
229
00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,905
-Hey.
-Hey.
230
00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,078
-Where's my pulse?
-What?
231
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,390
Show me a pulse. I don't--
232
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:24,736
-What?
-I'm supposed to have a pulse.
233
00:09:24,736 --> 00:09:26,186
-I don't have one.
-Move your hand.
234
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:27,912
-Is that in it?
-That's right, yeah.
235
00:09:27,912 --> 00:09:29,603
Okay? We're all right.
236
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:30,984
False alarm.
You know what, Murray?
237
00:09:30,984 --> 00:09:32,606
I think that's enough
for one day.
238
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,263
Don't stop on my account.
239
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:35,989
No, that's okay.
I was gonna stop anyway.
240
00:09:35,989 --> 00:09:37,680
I don't like to do this
in front of real people.
241
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:38,785
No, no, it's okay.
242
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,476
Don't think
I was doing this all day
243
00:09:40,476 --> 00:09:42,340
because I wasn't.
I had a very busy day.
244
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,929
-You can ask Murray.
-Don't worry about it. Thirsty?
245
00:09:45,895 --> 00:09:47,276
I must be.
246
00:09:47,276 --> 00:09:49,347
I got your favorite,
Grand Union. [GIGGLES NERVOUSLY]
247
00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:51,349
I don't know what it is.
248
00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:52,937
It tastes better
than any others, doesn't it?
249
00:09:53,420 --> 00:09:55,111
Ice. You want ice?
Let me get it.
250
00:09:55,111 --> 00:09:57,700
I don't need ice. I don't need--
It's okay. I'll take some ice.
251
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,117
Umm...
252
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:03,913
-So how was your day?
-It was good. I had a good day.
253
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,432
-Did you have a good day?
-Good.
254
00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:07,261
Good. So we both had a good day.
255
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,787
-You wanted ice.
-Or a hammer is good too.
256
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:22,069
I was thinking hammer
and nail and-- Forget it.
257
00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,521
Do you remember
when we went to Province Town
258
00:10:25,521 --> 00:10:26,971
and we got that little bud vase?
259
00:10:28,835 --> 00:10:29,870
Uhu.
260
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:33,115
That was nice, wasn't it?
261
00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:35,807
Uhu.
262
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:39,880
-Can I ask you something?
-What?
263
00:10:40,225 --> 00:10:42,089
-What's the matter with you?
-What?
264
00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:43,643
What the hell is wrong with you?
265
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:48,924
We have to talk.
266
00:10:49,856 --> 00:10:51,098
Uh-oh.
267
00:10:51,098 --> 00:10:52,134
What?
268
00:10:52,755 --> 00:10:55,551
It's just-- It's just that
in history of life
269
00:10:56,069 --> 00:10:58,347
no good news
has ever followed that sentence.
270
00:10:58,347 --> 00:10:59,935
It's never like
"We have to talk.
271
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,661
You are now the emperor
of Rome."
272
00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,734
You don't hear that.
273
00:11:06,424 --> 00:11:07,632
We have to talk.
274
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,671
Also that tone is not really
shouting a sense of good.
275
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:14,881
-I'm sorry, but we do.
-No, I know.
276
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,330
I know, come here because...
277
00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:19,126
I actually I wanna--
I got to talk to you too.
278
00:11:19,126 --> 00:11:20,783
-You do?
-Yeah.
279
00:11:20,783 --> 00:11:23,130
-Umm... Can I go first?
-Yeah, go ahead.
280
00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:36,557
I-- I-- A silly thing happened--
281
00:11:36,557 --> 00:11:37,662
[BUZZER]
282
00:11:37,662 --> 00:11:39,215
-Who is that?
-Who is it?
283
00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:41,114
BURT: It's pop. It's Burt.
284
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,737
It's your father-in-law,
Burt Buchman.
285
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,635
At least the man knows
who he is.
286
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:48,052
-Hi, Burt.
-Hi.
287
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,296
-Is this a bad time?
-No, no, no, what's up?
288
00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:52,642
Well, I would have called
289
00:11:52,642 --> 00:11:54,748
but your mother
always picks up the extension.
290
00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:55,887
What's the matter?
291
00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:57,440
Well, I know
you've been planning
292
00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,925
this 45th anniversary party
for us
293
00:11:58,925 --> 00:12:01,272
which is very sweet
and we thank you for it
294
00:12:01,272 --> 00:12:04,033
and it's been
a wonderful 45 years
295
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:06,415
but what I would like
to tell you is this.
296
00:12:06,415 --> 00:12:08,175
-What?
-I want to pay for it.
297
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:11,869
-No, no, no.
-No, no, look, I insist.
298
00:12:11,869 --> 00:12:14,492
I want you to take this money,
and I don't wanna hear anymore.
299
00:12:15,493 --> 00:12:17,460
All right, Dad,
when you're right, you're right.
300
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:22,017
Good.
Hey, can I use your facilities?
301
00:12:22,017 --> 00:12:23,501
-Sure
-I had a couple of --
302
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:24,847
PAUL AND JAMIE:
It doesn't matter.
303
00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,402
So you were about to tell me...
304
00:12:28,402 --> 00:12:30,266
-I'll tell you when he goes.
-No, tell me.
305
00:12:31,854 --> 00:12:34,063
It's weird. I don't know
how to even say this.
306
00:12:34,063 --> 00:12:35,168
[BUZZER]
307
00:12:35,168 --> 00:12:36,756
-What?
-Who is it?
308
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:37,791
LISA: It's me.
309
00:12:37,895 --> 00:12:39,966
I just wanted to run a couple of dresses past Jamie.
310
00:12:40,449 --> 00:12:41,795
You know, Lis--
311
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,004
It won't take a minute.
Is this a bad time?
312
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:46,110
-PAUL AND JAMIE: No, no, no.
-LISA: Okay.
313
00:12:46,110 --> 00:12:48,043
Don't go in the bathroom.
There's somebody in there.
314
00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,907
-Yeah, my father had a couple--
-LISA: Whatever.
315
00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:54,221
So anyway?
316
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:57,190
[BUZZER]
317
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:58,674
-Who is it?
-DEBBIE: Debbie.
318
00:12:59,157 --> 00:13:00,434
What's going on here?
319
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:03,334
-Deb?
-Is this a bad time?
320
00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:05,163
-JAMIE: No, no, no.
-No, no.
321
00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:07,545
I just came by, you know,
to ask you guys
322
00:13:07,545 --> 00:13:09,616
if it's okay If I bring Joan
on the 12th
323
00:13:09,616 --> 00:13:11,825
because, on the one hand
she's my girlfriend
324
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:14,103
but on the other hand,
I don't want mom and pop--
325
00:13:14,103 --> 00:13:16,554
Do you know you that your sister
is in the bedroom naked
326
00:13:16,554 --> 00:13:18,625
-with a tiara on her head?
-Yes, I know.
327
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:21,697
-Look who's here.
-Deborah, how are you?
328
00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:23,250
So why is she trying on dresses?
329
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,562
It's for her engagement party.
330
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:26,357
Oh, Lisa, I meant to tell you
congratulations.
331
00:13:26,357 --> 00:13:27,599
LISA: Thank you.
332
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,878
Actually met a man
worth $400 million.
333
00:13:29,878 --> 00:13:31,396
-Imagine that.
-Yep.
334
00:13:31,396 --> 00:13:32,777
Does he have a sister?
335
00:13:34,054 --> 00:13:35,400
[BUZZER]
336
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,712
-Who is it?
-JONATHAN: It's Jonathan.
337
00:13:36,712 --> 00:13:38,438
Okay.
I don't even know a Jonathan.
338
00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:40,164
-The caterer.
-JONATHAN: I have some delicious
339
00:13:40,164 --> 00:13:41,682
Egyptian titbits for you.
340
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,135
-I hope this isn't a bad time.
-No, no, no.
341
00:13:46,135 --> 00:13:48,137
Do you have
a large slotted spoon?
342
00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:49,621
In the kitchen.
343
00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,451
What do we think?
344
00:13:51,796 --> 00:13:53,073
It's very elegant.
345
00:13:53,073 --> 00:13:54,903
Yeah,
but it's riding up my butt.
346
00:13:57,906 --> 00:14:00,115
Nice. You can take the girl
out of the country
347
00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:02,427
but... can't get the dress out
of the girl.
348
00:14:06,121 --> 00:14:07,122
[BUZZER]
349
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,089
Who is it?
350
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:10,573
-MARK: It's Mark.
-Man.
351
00:14:10,573 --> 00:14:11,885
-FRAN: And Fran.
-Oh, man.
352
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,818
-Hummus?
-Not so much.
353
00:14:14,784 --> 00:14:17,546
All right. All right. All right.
What is this?
354
00:14:17,546 --> 00:14:20,307
It's something, isn't it?
Isn't it something?
355
00:14:20,307 --> 00:14:22,275
It's like we're teenagers
at the prom.
356
00:14:22,275 --> 00:14:24,898
It's like we're virgins
and we wanted you to know.
357
00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:27,280
We wanted you to be
the first to know in person
358
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,523
because this is isn't
the kind of news
359
00:14:29,523 --> 00:14:31,767
that you want to hear
like over some sort of--
360
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,563
-Is this a bad time?
-PAUL AND JAMIE: No, no.
361
00:14:34,563 --> 00:14:36,082
Fran and I
are getting back together.
362
00:14:36,082 --> 00:14:38,118
-Baba ghanoush?
-Not right now.
363
00:14:38,118 --> 00:14:40,362
[CHEERING]
364
00:14:40,362 --> 00:14:42,122
-I'm so happy for you.
-I knew it.
365
00:14:42,122 --> 00:14:44,573
That's wonderful.
We'll make a big announcement.
366
00:14:44,573 --> 00:14:46,333
We'll have a toast
at the anniversary party.
367
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,577
-MARK: So when is the party?
-It's on the 12th.
368
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:51,511
The what? The 12th is the date
of my engagement party.
369
00:14:51,511 --> 00:14:53,133
I know. We just realized that
this morning.
370
00:14:53,133 --> 00:14:55,895
So what are we gonna do?
We have to change one of them.
371
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,104
-Well, we can't change ours.
-We can't change ours.
372
00:14:58,104 --> 00:15:00,830
I'm not getting engaged
if you can't be there.
373
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:02,971
Well, I'm not having
an anniversary
374
00:15:02,971 --> 00:15:04,317
if you can't be there.
375
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:09,391
You know, Sanford's father,
Ziggy, is a very stubborn man.
376
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:11,531
And what is Burt Buchman?
A push over?
377
00:15:11,531 --> 00:15:13,050
A lightweight? A dog?
378
00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:14,810
No, I don't think
anybody was saying that.
379
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:17,468
-Tzatziki?
-Okay. You know what? Back off.
380
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:21,368
Let me tell you something
about Ziggy Klarik.
381
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:23,163
I wouldn't buy
a pair of jockey shorts
382
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:24,475
from that crappy store.
383
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:25,821
I haven't bought anything
in there
384
00:15:25,821 --> 00:15:27,064
since Kennedy was shot.
385
00:15:27,892 --> 00:15:29,894
That was just a big day for you,
wasn't it?
386
00:15:31,137 --> 00:15:32,690
Sure. Sure.
There was nothing opened.
387
00:15:32,690 --> 00:15:33,863
-I understand.
-[BUZZER]
388
00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:36,142
-I'll just get it.
-No. It's all right I'll get it.
389
00:15:36,142 --> 00:15:38,454
And let me tell you something
about Ziggy Klarik.
390
00:15:38,454 --> 00:15:40,008
He was a crook Ziggy Klarik.
391
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:42,148
-Is this a bad time?
-Who cares anymore.
392
00:15:42,148 --> 00:15:43,943
Hey, Sanford.
Burt, I'd like you to meet--
393
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,911
-A hoodlum, a liar--
-Burt--
394
00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:48,085
A red bastard.
395
00:15:48,085 --> 00:15:51,329
Burt, I'd like you to meet
Ziggy Klarik's son, Sanford.
396
00:15:51,329 --> 00:15:53,090
Sanford Klarik.
397
00:15:54,229 --> 00:15:55,955
A pleasure, a pleasure.
398
00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:58,612
I'm a friend of your dad's.
399
00:16:08,726 --> 00:16:10,003
What are the chances of that?
400
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,040
The one guy in the world
my father's angry at
401
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,455
and your sister marries his son.
402
00:16:13,455 --> 00:16:15,595
You were gonna tell me that
something happened you said.
403
00:16:15,595 --> 00:16:17,252
-What?
-You were saying...?
404
00:16:17,769 --> 00:16:18,770
Oh...
405
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:23,913
Come here.
406
00:16:25,087 --> 00:16:26,675
This is hard for me to say.
407
00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:31,438
I've been rehearsing this
all day, you know, and just...
408
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,476
And the more I say it,
no matter how I say it,
409
00:16:34,476 --> 00:16:35,546
it sounds bad.
410
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:37,858
I'm just gonna say it.
411
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:42,725
A little something happened.
412
00:16:43,174 --> 00:16:46,005
It didn't happen but...
it almost happened.
413
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:48,731
It started to happen.
It happened for like a second,
414
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:49,767
and...
415
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:52,425
and it's been bothering me
416
00:16:53,426 --> 00:16:55,635
because it shouldn't have
even happened. Not that it did.
417
00:16:55,635 --> 00:16:57,223
It didn't happen
but it started to--
418
00:16:57,740 --> 00:17:00,467
it started to begin
to almost possibly happen,
419
00:17:00,467 --> 00:17:02,538
and it's just--
it's just been bothering me.
420
00:17:02,538 --> 00:17:04,195
I kissed Doug Berkus.
421
00:17:06,646 --> 00:17:07,854
What?
422
00:17:09,649 --> 00:17:11,547
I kissed Doug Berkus.
423
00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:17,070
I-- I didn't kiss him,
actually, he... kissed me.
424
00:17:18,554 --> 00:17:21,005
But at least to some extent
I kissed him back.
425
00:17:21,454 --> 00:17:22,903
Actually,
I didn't kiss him back,
426
00:17:22,903 --> 00:17:25,492
but I didn't...
stop him instantly.
427
00:17:25,492 --> 00:17:28,323
I did stop him
but not immediately.
428
00:17:30,118 --> 00:17:31,222
What?
429
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,191
I kissed Doug Berkus.
430
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:33,112
Could you stay away from me
for a second, please?
431
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,011
Let me explain what--
432
00:18:36,011 --> 00:18:38,462
Yeah, just tell me
that didn't actually happened
433
00:18:39,221 --> 00:18:40,498
because that's the only
explanation
434
00:18:40,498 --> 00:18:41,913
I would like to hear right now.
435
00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:50,129
Paul?
436
00:18:53,062 --> 00:18:54,133
What?
437
00:18:55,996 --> 00:18:57,170
What?
438
00:18:58,896 --> 00:19:00,104
[SHOUTS] What?
439
00:19:01,312 --> 00:19:02,658
We're having trouble.
440
00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:06,593
You and I we're having trouble.
441
00:19:11,011 --> 00:19:12,151
I know.
442
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:14,705
-Do you?
-Yes.
443
00:19:16,224 --> 00:19:17,915
When you went
to Albany last week,
444
00:19:18,778 --> 00:19:20,538
this woman and I, um...
445
00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:24,093
-I...
-What? What?
446
00:19:24,093 --> 00:19:27,580
This sounded a lot worse
a little while ago.
447
00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:30,030
Um... This woman and I
took a walk.
448
00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:33,586
You took a walk as in...
449
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,070
No, no, we took a walk.
450
00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:36,451
We took a walk around the block.
451
00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,868
She got into a cab
and... I came home.
452
00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:44,183
But it wasn't just the walk,
you know?
453
00:19:47,082 --> 00:19:48,117
Wow.
454
00:19:48,739 --> 00:19:49,740
Wow?
455
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:52,570
You're gonna say wow?
You don't get to say wow.
456
00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,158
-You're not entitled...
-I'm sorry.
457
00:19:54,158 --> 00:19:55,884
-...to a wow on this one.
-I'm sorry.
458
00:19:57,644 --> 00:19:58,990
You kissed Doug Berkus?
459
00:19:59,577 --> 00:20:02,131
-Yeah, and you took a walk?
-Yeah.
460
00:20:05,342 --> 00:20:06,481
What are you doing?
461
00:20:07,896 --> 00:20:09,346
I'm putting my pants on.
462
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:12,590
-Why?
-Because I need my pants.
463
00:20:14,592 --> 00:20:17,354
I need to wear my pants
right now.
464
00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:20,495
-Should I put something on?
-Do whatever you want.
465
00:20:21,392 --> 00:20:22,945
You need to wear your shoes too?
466
00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:24,913
Yeah, I--
I got to get out of here.
467
00:20:24,913 --> 00:20:26,777
I can't really be here
right now.
468
00:20:26,777 --> 00:20:28,606
-Where are you going?
-I don't know where.
469
00:20:28,606 --> 00:20:30,436
-Well, are you coming back?
-I don't know.
470
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,196
I had some mints.
They were little mints.
471
00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:34,819
-Honey, it's 68 degrees outside.
-I know.
472
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:37,305
-You need your chess set?
-Yes, I do.
473
00:20:40,860 --> 00:20:42,171
Shouldn't we talk about this?
474
00:20:42,171 --> 00:20:45,140
No, I can't talk about this now.
I can't talk.
475
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:49,040
Okay. Wait. Wait.
What's gonna happen now?
476
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,180
-What happens now?
-I don't know. I don't know.
477
00:20:52,734 --> 00:20:53,804
I'm-- I'm--
478
00:20:55,668 --> 00:20:56,738
I don't know.
479
00:21:11,925 --> 00:21:15,515
♪ [THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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