All language subtitles for enMad.About.You.S04.E21.1080p.WEBRIP-Amazon The Award,

♪ [THEME MUSIC PLAYS]

[LAUGHING]

[GRUNTS FROM TV]

-[WOMAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
-[FUMBLING WITH LOCK]

-Hey.
-Hi, sweetie.

-How you doing?
-Good.

I thought you decided
not to grow a beard.

No, I'm not. I just--

I've been so busy working,
I haven't had a chance to shave,

-I'm so busy.
-You were busy today?

Yeah, just doing some collating.

I had to do collating
on the computer.

That's what I'm doing now,
collating.

-You didn't pick up the mail.
-I had no time,

just running around
back and forth.

-Because you were busy?
-Very busy.

I understand.

What did I miss?
Anything important?

Bills, solicitations.
Oh, something for Murray.

What's that?

This is all stuff sent to me
at the Explorer Channel.

I guess they forwarded it
to you.

This stuff's like a month old.

Look at it.
We were invited to a screening

of The Adventures
of Flounder Boy.

Now we missed it.

-The Silver Sprocket Awards.
-Really?

-I wonder if you were nominated.
-For what?

They butchered everything I did.
They totally destroyed Weed.

Weed.
You were nominated for Weed.

-Get out of here.
-Oh, my God. Look at that. See?

-Vindication.
-I don't care.

-Care!
-No.

-When is it?
-What's the difference?

-I'm not gonna go.
-It's tomorrow.

Do you believe
they waited this long

to send this to me?

That's all right.
I'm not gonna go to this.

-You have to go.
-No, why?

Just so I can wear a tuxedo?

You'll look very handsome
in a tuxedo.

So I can sit with
the very people who fired me?

Yes, that's exactly
why you should go.

This will give you a chance
to display your class,

your dignity, your panache.

Hey, I don't display my panache
to anybody but you.

That's private.

-You have lovely panache.
-Thank you.

What if I go and I lose?

If you lose,
then with as much grace

and equanimity
as you can muster,

you give them the finger
and run away.

I'm not gonna go to that.

Honey, the other thing
is the contacts, the networking.

I bet you get a dozen job offers
if you go.

I don't want to go and sit
with those people, you know?

But you won't be by yourself.
I'll be there right next to you.

-Because you're my woman.
-Yes.

-You're my wife.
-Yes.

-My soul mate.
-Yes.

-Well, you're very good to me.
-Yes.

-You take care of me.
-Yes.

-You nurture me.
-Yes.

-You feed me and clothe me.
-Yes.

-Wait a second.
-What?

-Mommy?
-All right.

IRA: Paulie, what do you mean
you're not going

-to the Sprocket Awards?
-I'm not gonna go.

Here you go. Adventures of Flounder Boy.

There's a 7:30, 8:00,
and a 9:30.

-You pick one.
-You're going to the awards.

I'm not gonna go.

Paulie, it's a once
in a lifetime opportunity.

Picture it. "And the winner is
Paul Buchman for..."

-What's it for?
-Weed.

[LAUGHS] "...Weed."

-Can I get a bag?
-What, for that?

-Yeah.
-[SCOFFS]

There you go.

I'm telling you, Paulie,
you go there,

you bite the hand
that feeds you,

because you know what?
Revenge is sweet, my friend.

And I'm telling you,
winning is the greatest revenge.

And the early bird
catches the cliché.

-Are you gonna do it?
-I think I am.

-Good. Attaboy.
-Yeah.

You go get yourself a tuxedo
and you do it.

-All right. Thank you.
-All right.

-Can I get a bag for this?
-Get out of here.

Hi, honey, it's me.

Just wondering
what you wanted to do tonight.

If you're not busy with
an award's dinner or anything,

we could sprawl on the couch
eating bad Chinese, watching TV,

or we could get dressed up,

go to the Silver Sprockets,
you could win an award

and then drunk with victory
and champagne,

you could ravish me repeatedly
in any manner you see fit,

but you know, whatever.
Your call.

-Oh, boy.
-JAMIE: What's the matter?

-We have one hour.
-What?

-You, me, train, Albany.
-You, me, train, Albany?

Yes, Albany, yes.

Doug, I'm really gonna need
a verb of some kind.

It's the state
fundraiser tonight.

Brockwell can't make it.
We've got to go in his place.

We've got one hour
to make the train.

Tonight? No, no, no.
I can't go to Albany tonight.

You, me, train, Albany,
tonight, yes, must.

Can't, really can't.

Paul has been nominated
for an award tonight,

and he won't go
unless I go with him.

-Oh yes. Is that for Weed?
-Yes, it's for Weed.

-What about it?
-Hey, hey, take it easy now.

I liked Weed,remember?

You know, I'm not happy
about this either, Jamie.

You should've heard me
yell at Brockwell.

-You did?
-Oh, yeah.

I gave it to him good.

He can't just change
people's plans

-at the last minute.
-What did he say?

Well, he wasn't there,

but when he checks
his voicemail,

he's gonna get an ear full.

Is he crazy?
He can't just do this to us.

-People have lives.
-Well, speak for yourself.

-I'm calling Brockwell.
-No, no, no, you can't.

He's gone already.
Where is he?

He had tickets for Showboat.

-You, me, Albany?
-Yes, must.

Paul, mad.
Me, really screwed.

[DOG GROANS]

I don't want to, I have to.
What would you do?

All right.
Let's go to the Sprockets.

Let's network. Let's schmooze.
I will tell you.

If I win, I've got a speech

that's just gonna
blow their minds.

I walk in there. I got the
best-looking woman on the joint.

I got my chest
filled with pride.

I got my cummerbund
fastened nicely.

-I can't go.
-What do you mean?

I can't go.

-What do you mean you can't go?
-I can't go.

There's been a last minute
change of plans.

I have to go to Albany.

-With who? Berkus?
-Yes.

Well, that just...
That stinks.

If that wasn't rented,
I swear to God...

Honey, I did everything I could
to try to get out of it.

-Oh, did you really?
-Yes.

Well, I'm very upset about this.

I got all psyched to go
and the thing that fortified me

was that you were gonna be there
with me.

Maybe we can get somebody else
to go with you. Ira or Mark?

I don't wanna go
with anybody else.

I don't wanna go at all.

I would've gone with you,
but now that's over.

So forget it. Listen--
I'm not gonna win anyway.

I don't know what to say.

-When will you be back?
-Tomorrow.

[SCOFFS]

Great.

-I said I was sorry.
-PAUL: No, listen.

We all make choices
and, you know, you made yours.

You could've gone
to this thing with me,

or you could go to Albany
with Berkus,

so that's what you're gonna do,
so fine.

You go with him. I'm not going.
That's my decision.

Honey, I will be there
in spirit.

Okay. That may be the most
meaningless thing

you've ever said to me.

All right. Look.

I cannot make waves
at work right now.

It happens, if you recall,

that I'm the only one
in this family

-with a job right now.
-Listen.

I could say, "If you love me,
go to the Sprockets."

And I could say, "If you
love me, go to the Sprockets."

-Just go.
-We'll see.

-I can't stand this.
-It'll be okay.

-I have to go.
-So go.

You go.

I will be at the Radisson
in Albany.

Good luck.

Yeah, where are you going?

Syracuse with Rin Tin Tin
or something?

All right. Name your poison.
Five card stud, deuces wild?

I don't play poker.

How about Gin?
Penny a point?

-I don't know how to play Gin.
-Old Maid?

Crazy Eights? Go Fish?

-We'll cut. High card wins.
-Doug.

52 Pick Up?

Croton-on-Hudson's
the next stop.

We'll have about five minute
before we have to change trains.

-Why don't you call him?
-Thanks.

Hi, honey, it's me.

I wish you were there,
although I'm glad you're not,

because that must mean
you decided to go.

In a way, I wish you were there
so I could talk to you,

but in a way
I'm glad you're not there,

because I'm really glad
you decided to go to the awards.

-And...
-[TRAIN WHISTLES]

I just wanted to say
I'm proud of you.

I'm really, really proud of you
and I miss you.

Okay? Bye.

-It's time to go. Okay?
-Okay. Wait.

-CONDUCTOR: All aboard.
-We don't have time, Jamie.

-All aboard.
-Just one second.

CONDUCTOR: Poughkeepsie, Rhinecliff, Hudson, Albany,

Rensselaer and Schenectady,
last call.

Come on.

Honey, it's me. I love you.
I love you. Okay?

-DOUG: Hold it.
-JAMIE: Wait. Wait.

Hold the train. Hold the train!

[SIGHS]

-What're we gonna do now?
-Teach me how to play Gin.

Paul, I'm very proud of you.

-Really? For what?
-For showing up.

Just sitting there
with the people who fired you.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't.

I don't have the strength
of character--

-Well, thank you very much.
-No, let me finish.

The strength of character
to degrade myself,

to humiliate myself in front
of those-- I couldn't do it.

I just couldn't.
I admire you, Paul.

Thank you. Can I have something
very powerful, please?

Make it two.

So what're you gonna say
if you win tonight?

Oh, don't you worry.
I've got a speech.

I've got a whole speech
prepared. It's a showstopper.

Yeah? Let me hear it.

No, no, no,
I'm not gonna give it away,

but let me just say this.

Revenge is sweet,

and winning
will be the best revenge.

That's a little cliché,
don't you think?

Don't worry about it.

Did you see any Explorer Channel
weasels here?

Look at you. Look at you.

Straighten yourself out.
Oh, you look just terrible.

-You're a mess.
-All right, Mark. Come on.

No, hold still, will you please?
Please, just-- Okay.

-All right. All right.
-Okay. There, there.

-Now you look like somebody.
-Okay. Thank you.

You know what?
I'm gonna call my wife.

-Oh, yeah? Where's she staying?
-She's in Albany.

She's at the Radisson.

Oh, the Radisson in Albany
is fantastic.

In the morning, they serve you
this complimentary hot coffee

with this bun with a glaze.

Oh, just thinking about it
makes my mouth water.

Just a second.
Hi, Jamie Buchman, please.

Oh, can I leave a message?

Tell her, her husband called
and just say,

"I went to the thing...
Sprockets. Sprockets."

S-- Just leave it "the thing".

"I went to the thing
and I love you."

Not you, her. I don't know you.

I'm sure
you're a very nice woman.

Just put down "I love you"
and she'll know what's up.

Okay. Thank you very much.

-You ready?
-Tell me I can do this.

Yes, you can. Look at me.
Look at me. Hey.

-Huh?
-Look at me.

You have very long lashes.

-A quick phone call.
-All right. I said I was sorry.

-Gin!
-Oh, now, come on, what is this?

Are you sure
you never played Gin before?

No, I'm hustling you, sucker.
I'm up four cents. Pay me.

Now, you could let me win one.
It wouldn't kill you.

Actually, it would.
You don't know me.

-Apparently not.
-I'm very competitive.

I like winning. I hate losing.

Yeah, but to cheat at Gin,
Jamie--

-I wasn't cheating.
-It's a friendly game.

I wasn't cheating.

See? That's why I wanted
to go with Paul tonight.

I gave him this whole speech
about grace and dignity.

The truth is,
I wanted him to win.

I know. I feel bad.

Oh, come on. It's not your fault

we're trapped in Croton,
playing Gin.

Yeah, but I obviously
don't mind it as much as you do.

Actually, I don't.

-No?
-No. Gin!

MAN: I loved the film you did with the lion and the jackal,

and the jackal and the lion.

Lion, jackal.
Jackal, lion. Lion, jackal.

Back and forth.
Back and forth.

And who's gonna win?
And who's gonna eat?

And all this time, I'm thinking,

"Why can't they all
just get along?"

Tell me. What sort of films
do you make?

-Oh, I'm not a filmmaker.
-Really?

No, no, I'm a doctor.
Gynecologist.

You know, we're thinking
of starting a medical channel.

Perhaps you'd like
to give us a call,

-share some of your thoughts.
-Oh, that's great, yeah.

[COUGHING]

-Are you all right?
-I'll be right back.

Can I have a beer so big,

it hurts you to lift it
a little bit?

SARAH: Well, who knows
better than you do? [LAUGHS]

I hate these things.
I hate these things.

I hate these things.

How do you feel about
these things? You like them?

I really don't.

Could I have a glass
of champagne, please?

Champagne.
That's what I should've had.

-What did you get?
-I got a beer.

Oh, that's what I wanted,
a beer.

Watch this.

Okay. So where's your date?

My date?

-Big guy, tuxedo.
-Oh, my date.

Oh, he's not my--
Well, he's inside.

Champagne,
that was a very good call.

So what do you do?

If I say I'm a filmmaker,
will you think I'm pretentious?

-Of course.
-Okay.

But only because I am too.

What, a filmmaker
or pretentious?

Both.

Well, good for us then, huh?

I am pretentious filmmaker,
Sarah.

Sarah,
pretentious filmmaker, Paul.

-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

I am going to go back inside,
smile and be phony.

Let me see.

Hi. Oh, I saw your film.
Love it, love it, love it.

That's very good.
Go get 'em.

This is crazy.
We're never gonna make it.

Yes, we will.
The train'll be here any minute.

And so what at this point?

We're gonna get there,
it'll be a thousand o'clock.

We'll shake three hands,

show our faces for eight seconds
and get back on the train.

What difference does it make?

It makes a difference, Jamie.
You know it does.

-Doug, I want to go home.
-No, you can't.

-What about Brockwell?
-Brockwell? What about him?

He's somewhere listening
to Old Man River right now.

-[TRAIN WHISTLES]
-See? That's our train.

No, it's not. That's the train
back to the city.

-No, it's coming from that way.
-No, it's coming from that way.

-I'll tell you what.
-No.

Yes, if that's the train
back to New York,

-we're getting on it.
-That's not even an option.

Oh, come on. It's totally fair.

If that's the train
back to the city,

-we get on it.
-I cannot do that.

Well, I have to,
and so should you.

Have a life
for once in your life.

I do, such as it is,
and it's that way.

Well, mine is that way.

[COUGHS]

Excuse me.

I've got an emergency C-section.

I'm gonna go with you.

You'd rather come with me
to the hospital,

watch me perform a C-section,

than stay here,
possibly win an award?

-Yes.
-Can I tell you something?

-What?
-That is sick.

-I wanna go with you.
-You can't come with me.

-I'm gonna come with you.
-You can't.

I have to.

You cannot come with me
and that is final, Paul.

Now, I want you
to march in there

and you sit yourself
at the table there

like a young man.
Do you understand me?

-Okay.
-Okay.

All right. I'll see you later.
Good luck.

Okay.

Hi, how are you?
I admire your work very much.

Darling, you're a genius,
and I don't say that word often.

Okay. That's enough.
You want a beer?

-Please.
-Two, please.

ANNOUNCER: The nominees for outstanding achievement

-in nature films--
-Is that your category?

Oh, yeah, I guess so.

You're not going
to go back inside?

No. No, 'cause the truth is,
I don't care.

Really, I don't. I don't care.

I don't care about any of this.
It's just stupid, you know?

It's ridiculous.
The whole thing is ridiculous.

Awards, you know?
Awards, they're insulting.

They're insulting and stupid.

ANNOUNCER:
And the winner isWeed,

Paul Buchman, Director.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

Yeah! All right.

Boy, this feels really,
really good.

Explorer Channel,
this is for us, you know?

Couldn't have done it
without you.

I really must say,
the Explorer Channel,

I wanna thank them
for their vision

and their moral fortitude,

and for believing in me,
you know?

I was just a guy with a weed
and a dream,

-and they made this--
-MAN: Yeah, Paul!

Yeah! Boy this is a...

Um...

Wait. Okay, you know,

I wanna say, when I was a kid,
I will say this.

The very first time that I saw
The Wizard of Oz,I--

-♪ [CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYS]
-[APPLAUSE]

[PAUL CHEERS]

RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry. There's no answer in that room.

Would you like to leave
a message, sir?

Sir? Sir?

Sir?

-Hey.
-Hey. You're back.

Hey, ta-da.

[CHUCKLES] Good for you.

Still don't care?

Well, boy,
as bourgeois as it sounds,

I must tell you,
it feels very good to win.

-You didn't know that?
-No, no, I didn't.

I've never won anything ever,
never.

-Losing's bad. Winning's good.
-Yeah, there's no comparison.

-Well, enjoy it. I have to go.
-What-- No, no.

You're not gonna leave now,
are you?

Oh, yes, it's that time.

[STUTTERS]
So, now a person like you,

if they're leaving,
they would go where?

-Home?
-Probably.

Why?

No why. I was just thinking,

and no implication here,
but I was gonna leave,

so do you wanna
maybe split a cab?

Actually, I thought
I'd take a walk first.

Oh, okay.
Do you want to split a walk?

You know what? It's okay.
Better off. Forget it.

Very nice to meet you.

-Okay.
-Okay.

-You sure?
-Yeah, okay, I'm sure.

Okay.

What?

Take a walk?

The Thin Blue Line
is really suspense film

-disguised as a documentary.
-You know something?

You really are
a little pretentious.

I told you so.

So what happens now?
You're gonna actually go home?

Yes, shouldn't you?

I should. Yeah, I should.

I just don't particularly
want to.

Well, what then?

We can't, can we?

No, we really can't.

Maybe some other time.
No, maybe some other life.

I got a little voice
inside my head right now.

-I just wanna kill.
-[LAUGHS]

It's really loud.
I can hear it too.

[CHUCKLES]

-I'm going to get into the cab.
-Please.

-It was really nice meeting you.
-Nice to meet you.

Okay, bye.

-Hi.
-Hey, what are you doing here?

I came home.

-Did you get my message?
-No, did you get mine?

-No.
-I never went to Albany.

-I won.
-I know. Congratulations.

How do you know?

Because I went to the banquet
straight from the train station,

I must have just missed you.

-You went to the banquet?
-Yeah.

-When was that?
-I guess just after you left.

Come to bed.
You can bring that with you.

Okay. I'll be right in.

-Okay. I love you.
-I love you.

-Hey, James?
-Yeah?

-I'll be right in.
-Okay.