All language subtitles for enMad.About.You.S04.E20.1080p.WEBRIP-Amazon The Weed

-Ok?
-Mmm-hmm.

Is this your card?

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

JAIME: All right. Come on. Look at these brochures with me.

-What do you got?
-Amish Country, the Pocono's,

-Hershey, Gettysburg.
-Gettysburg?

Is there an address?

All right. Why is everything
in Pennsylvania?

-What's wrong with Pennsylvania?
-Nothing.

Pennsylvania is a fine state.

It's one of the original 13.
The Keystone State.

-Got Quakers, a lot of Quakers.
-I love Quakers, Quaker oats.

-Quaker furniture.
-That's Shaker.

Whatever. How about New York,
our own state?

New York State,
The Empire State?

Many fine
tourist attractions there.

Massachusetts always reliable.
Why don't we go to Canada

and visit all the natives
to the North.

Well, why? Why are they
any better than Pennsylvania?

All right. I'm just gonna ask.

You have some discount from work
with Pennsylvania Tourism.

-Oh, aren't you so smart.
-So why don't you just say that?

I didn't want to prejudice you
against Pennsylvania.

I will call the travel
agency guy. I'll do it.

-When?
-As soon as I'm finished.

I can't do it
until weed is done. I can't.

Well, you can't let them
get to you like this.

You know, what it is with them?
See, they don't understand

film making as metaphor,

-as film making as poetry.
-As art.

Yes, but not in a mocking tone
you just said it.

-I'm not mocking.
-Yes, you are.

You know, you're the one
who wanted me to work

-for the explorer Channel.
-I did not.

Yeah, you did. Now you see

this is the price you pay
when you work for the man.

What are you? Shaft?

I didn't want you to work
for the Explorer Channel.

I only wanted you to work
for the Explorer Channel

if you wanted to work
for the Explorer Channel.

And if I didn't want you to work
for the Explorer Channel?

Then I didn't want you to work
for the Explorer Channel.

I don't remember
that part of the conversation.

It's true.

-How do you remember that?
-I eat right.

My memory
is just as good eating crap.

Okay, now where is my pants?

-Paul?
-Yes, Hollis?

-You wearing a watch?
-I am wearing a watch.

Well, would look at it?

Because we've been trying
to light this weed

-for two hours.
-Okay. You know, what, Hollis?

It's not easy
to light weed just properly.

-Am I right, Bobby.
-I guess.

Thanks for backing me up.

-What are you doing?
-Nothing.

You're casting your shadow
on the weed.

I'm trying to light a weed,
and you see a big shadow here.

Where is the continuity?

Yesterday wasn't this leaning
to the south, yesterday,

and now it's kind of leaning
to the west.

I don't think it's the same.

What's the difference?
It's a weed.

It's a weed.
What's the difference?

It's a weed. It happens to be
the star of the show.

The film is called "Weed."

Great, so we'll put
a little string on it

-and hold it up. Okay?
-You know what?

Hollis, it's not a puppet.
Okay? Do you understand?

It's a living thing.

You know, as well as I do
we can put a string on this weed

and be out of here
in five minutes.

Hey, you're not gonna ruin
my film.

Paul, it's a weed, weed.

-You're a weed.
-Fine. I'm a weed. I'm a weed.

By the way,
who ate all the doughnuts?

Why was Brockwell taking money
from a reputed crime boss?

Well, it was some spare change
for cab fare.

He had no idea.

-He left his wallet at home.
-Yeah,

and you think the grand jury
is gonna believe that?

Oh, we're screwed.

Months of planning a campaign,
and all up in smoke.

Okay. Maybe we're not.
Maybe he won't get indicted.

Oh, don't be so optimistic.
You'll get my hopes up.

There goes my entire weekend.

-Oh, what were you gonna do?
-Nothing, I have no plans.

-I have no life. How about you?
-I used to have a life.

Hi, sorry I'm late.

You're not late.
You're early for tomorrow.

We ate your Kung Pao.

Oh, that's okay.
I had lunch with Mark.

-Two hours?
-I chew slowly.

Come on.
We got a lot of work to do.

We're gonna be here
all weekend as it is.

-We are?
-What?

Well, Mark and I are going down

to the Pennsylvania
Dutch country tonight.

To what?

-Yeah, we're gonna go--
-What made you decide on that?

Well, I was looking
through those brochures

you had on our desk.
Is something wrong?

Well, Paul and I were thinking
of going away this weekend.

-You were?
-You were?

-We talked about it.
-Well, come with us.

No, no, no, she can't
and neither can you.

You've gottta help me
to prep Brockwell

for a grand jury testimony
on Monday.

-Can you change your plans?
-Our deposit is non-refundable.

You know how Mark
is about stuff like that.

-How?
-Cheap.

All right. It's okay.

Paul wouldn't have been able
to go anyway.

-If you want me to stay, I will.
-Okay.

-I can't. I just can't.
-Go.

It's all right.
We'll take care of it.

-You're not mad?
-No.

-Don't be mad.
-I'm not mad.

-I am not mad.
-Thank you.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hope the Amish wrap her
in a quilt

and beat her with a hoe.

PAUL: Great Bobby, that's great Bobby, the light was great...

You know, if I knew

we were gonna work
these kinds of hours,

I'd taken better care
of myself years ago.

[VIDEO TAPE REWINDING]

Look at this. This is the shot
they wanted me to use.

It just ruins it.

It stinks up the whole piece.
Don't you think?

I don't care anymore.

It's two in the morning.

-Don't you have a life?
-That's the shot

that I would have used.
That's the great angle.

But they said it makes the weed
look too ominous.

Why didn't you just put a string
on the cacamanee weed.

I'd have been home by eight.

Arrest me for taking
a little pride in my work.

Arrest you?
I'd like to kill you.

Come on.
Let's get this over with.

Just pick an angle
and let me go home.

-Okay. I don't even know--
-Just pick an angle.

Okay.

-Let's just go with that.
-Good.

No, no, no, no.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

PAUL: Must I do
everything myself?

Get outta here!

Did you ever see Citizen Cane?

-Yeah, great movie.
-Well, this ain't it.

-This is Weed.
-I know. I know.

-But--Ow!
-What's the matter?

My tooth.
I think I got a cavity.

Why don't you eat more cookies?

Leave me alone, would you?

You know what,
I don't think I like this.

-I don't like it at all.
-Oh, boy.

It's no good. It's no--
There's something--

What did that mean?
I don't have a life?

-What?
-You said I don't have a life?

Well, look at you.
You're a young man.

You're not sleeping.
You're never home.

All you do is work.

And your teeth
are falling out.

-Well--
-Pick an angle.

This is what it takes
to work for a big company.

Well, then maybe you shouldn't
work for a big company.

What does that mean?

Nothing. Pick an angle.

Are you telling me
I should quit?

Pick an angle.

What are you saying
that I should just say

I'll walk in there and say
"You guys can't tell me

what to do with my movie.
Hey, what did you do?

I picked you an angle Corasella.

-Yeah, but I don't like that--
-Moving on.

PAUL: All right. That's great, Bobby. That's great, Bobby.

The light looks great.
Leave it. Leave it.

All right, let's get ready to shoot this thing.

-Come on, people. Come on---It's 4:00 a.m.

-What are you doing?
-I'm working.

-You're staring at a weed.
-It's my job.

Oh, all right, Honey, come on.
Come to bed.

Stare at the weed
in the morning.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Okay.
Did you just see it move?

-No.
-You don't see the weed wafted.

It wafted, ever so slightly,
but it was a waft.

Sweetie,
you really need to relax.

-Get your mind off of work.
-Hey, I have to--

Let's just see what else is on.

-What are you doing?
-It's all right.

Come on let's just see.

Look there we go.

It's your favorite infomercial,
the Abflexer.

You've always wanted
an Abflexer.

Look a women's prison movie,
very sexy.

Cool. The woman on the left,
in the robe,

her name is Mimsy.

She's innocent.
She's been framed.

There's a big fight,

you know, climactic show down
in the shower,

a lot of bloodshed,
and a whole lot of tears.

And in the end,
justice will prevail.

-So you've seen this before?
-Part of it.

WOMAN ON TV: 'They are all girls, girls with the big G'...

You know, I came this close
to quitting today.

-You did?
-Yeah, but I didn't

and decided
I'm gonna stick it out.

I'm gonna do my time
like Mimsy.

But I'll tell you.
If I'm accused of something

-that I didn't do --
-You may have to make

-a break for it.
-I may.

I understand.

When you're done with Weed,
we have to go away.

See that angle? Okay.
That's the angle

I should have shot
the weed from.

See from under the weed.
Like the weed's point of view.

-Bye-bye.
-Now you're gonna change it?

Fran and Mark went
to Pennsylvania Dutch Country

this weekend.
Doesn't that sound nice?

I don't know when I can, honey.

-Did you call the travel agent?
-Not yet.

-Oh, gladiator movie.
-Honey, come on. Come to bed.

Okay. Did you realize

if the hair styles in this movie
are historically accurate,

it means the popodure
has been around for 2000 years.

All right. You know what?
Stare at your weed.

I'm finishing the pie.
All right?

PAUL: Scene 8, take 47.

Action.

Yeah, yeah.
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.

Hey, hey, hey,

What's the matter?
That was great.

-Oh, you thought that was great?
-Yeah, I did.

Paul?
Yes, Hollis?

We've done 47 takes
of this shot.

Believe me
when I say we have it.

Okay. Believe it when I say,
we don't.

-We do. We do.
-We don't. We really don't.

Hold it. I think we maybe
should take a break here.

What?
I don't wanna take a break now.

Because everyone is tired
and hungry.

Who's tired? Who's hungry?
Here have these.

Throwing chips, huh?
Wasting of chips.

Sorry, Paul,
can't let that one slide.

You know what?
Just get off the set, please.

-Excuse me?
-I like you off the set.

Get off the set.
You're banned for my set.

Sorry.
You can't ban me from the set.

-It's public street.
-Oh, really?

Hey, is that your pen?
Go get it.

Fetch, fetch.

Oh, you're so clever.
Get off the set.

Paul, I think you're being
a little unreasonable.

Give me my chips.

You turned on me, Bobby,
and you know what?

I never saw that coming.
I trusted you.

What? What?
You're kidding me, right?

Get off.
I want you off the set too.

Get off the set.
Join your friend there.

You know what?
I'll do this myself.

Take me up.
Everybody off the set.

Everybody. Come on.
You're all banned.

You're banned. You're banned.
Curly, you're banned. Out.

Let's go. Let's go. Everybody.

-Hey, hey, what do you do here?
-I live here.

I don't care. Get out. Get out.
Off the set. Go. Go. Go.

Watch out for the weed.
Jesus, do you see the weed?

Do you not see the weed?
It's a huge weed.

All right.

This is better.

Okay.
Now we can work.

Excuse me?
Buddy, pal?

Excuse me?

I can't get down now.

[USING MEGAPHONE]
Okay. I may have overreacted.

All right. Here we go.

Two knee braces,
two ankle braces,

and the ace bandage.

-Thanks.
-It looks like it hurts, huh?

Have you ever jumped off
a crane?

-Can't say that I have.
-I wouldn't rush to do it.

They're driving you nuts,
over there, huh?

Like you wouldn't believe it.
I'm so ready to quit.

Paulie, you do not want
to do that.

You know, to a certain point,
it's a question of dignity.

It's a question
of self-respect and honor.

-What's that on your sweater?
-It's a Twinkie filling.

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

-Excuse me?
-Yes, ma'am.

-Do you carry sweat socks?
-Yeah, sure.

-See right over there.
-And what about rifles?

-Aisle 9.
-Thank you.

Paulie, I just think
you're not thinking straight.

I mean,
this is not the time.

I'm telling you to be thinking
about quitting your job.

Why are you not supporting me
on this?

I am supporting you.

Where would I find tetherballs?

Those are right around
the corner.

How about blow guns?

-It's aisle 9.
-Aisle 9.

I'm telling you.
You have no idea what it's like.

I mean, I'm showing them
my movie tomorrow.

I guarantee you

whatever it is I like
in the film,

they're gonna want to change.

-So what?
-What do you mean "so what?"

So, Paulie, sometimes in life
you've got to sacrifice.

I know but to go to work
everyday and be miserable.

Where are you sitting right now?

-What? Where?
-Here.

Who built this place
from a vacant lot?

-So?
-Your father.

Well, you think
he resented sacrificing for you?

I would imagine so.
No, no, no, Paulie, no,

the answer is no.
Our parents they Went to work.

They went to wars.
They stayed married.

They didn't belly ache about it.

What can I tell you? So we're
not a very hearty generation.

-Do you sell windbreakers?
-Yes, ma'am aisle 2

And hatchets?

-Aisle 9.
-Aisle 9.

Boy, aisle 9 has really changed.

NARRATOR: And so ultimately
the weed survives.

[UNCOMFORTABLE COUGHING]

Well, Paul, congratulations.
It was great.

Great, just great, Paul.
Loved it. It's perfect.

[PHONE RINGING]

Thank you.
You hear that, Hollis?

-Wouldn't change a thing.
-Wouldn't change a thing.

Hollis, you hear that?
Wouldn't change a thing?

Nothing, sir?

Well, maybe a few small things.

-Like what?
-"Like what?"

Frankly, the weed
just isn't as sympathetic

as we hoped it to be.

Yes, yes.

I mentioned this to Paul
numerous times.

-I have it here in my notes.
-Be that as it may.

Focusing on the weed now.
Couldn't the weed be nicer?

-"Nicer"?
-Nicer, nicer.

This is just our opinion.

-You do what you think is right.
-Thank you.

Do what I think is right,
Hollis. Thank you.

Because I've got to say
what you just saw,

I think it reflects us.
That's what we want.

That's the essence
of the weed's reality.

What if we play up

the street smart side
of the weed?

Yes, yes, yes,
that is brilliant.

Make it street "savvy,"
kind of a happening weed.

-Oh, maybe give it a nemesis.
-Yes, I love that. Love it.

Could you just shut up
for just one second?

Maybe what we need is somebody
to root against?

To root against?
A nemesis for the weed.

What is that like a hat
or something?

-A cat.
-Wait, wait, wait a minute.

-Like a crazed gardener?
-Crazed gardener.

What? What? What?
A crazed gardener?

You see. This is
what I have to work with.

These are the suggestions
he makes.

-I wasn't making a suggestion.
-You just were.

-No, I wasn't. I just simply--
-Yes, yes--

Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen,
please.

I'm must say
I'm very disappointed

in both of you.

We sent you out
to make a film about a weed,

a friendly, upbeat film

that would come in on schedule
and on budget.

Now, somebody please tell me.
How did this happen?

Sir, I have it all
right here in my notes.

-What do you have in your notes?
-Everything.

You have nothing.
You have nothing.

-Show me. Show me.
-No.

Show me in your notes.
Show me.

All right. All right. All right.
Enough. Enough. Enough.

Well, I see no constructive
solutions forthcoming

from the two of you.

I, on the other hand,
have a very simple fix.

How can they fire both of us?

The place has no idea
what it's doing.

They're all screwed up.

-Well, their loss.
-Their loss.

We were a great team.

We were the best, man.

Hollis and Paul.
Paul and Hollis.

Forever.

You know, I played it all wrong.

No, no, no, I did.
I did. It was me.

No, no, no,
I was too eager to give in.

No, listen, I could have been
more compromising.

Well, we couldn't help it.

You know what?
That's who we are.

Yeah, I'm just a straight arrow,

-by the book, button down--
-Brown noser.

-Yes, I am.
-Hey, hey, I have my faults too.

You know, I'm a stubborn
single minded fiercely,

-uncompromising--
-Pain in the ass?

Well, here's to us.

Here's to a great film maker.

And here's to...

Here's to you.

-Okay. All right. All right.
-I love you, man.

All right.

-I really do.
-Okay.

You know you're right.

As of this moment,
I'm turning over a new leaf.

Good for you.

What are you writing now,
Hollis?

Oh, nothing.

DOUG: I'll be the DA.
You can be Brockwell.

Now, Mr. Brockwell,
on March 9--

Aren't you gonna make me swear
to tell the truth,

the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?

-So help you God?
-Yes.

No. Now, Mr. Brockwell,
on March 9--

Aren't you gonna ask me
to state my name?

Would you state your name,
please?

Lance Brockwell.

Now, Mr. Brockwell,
on March 9th,

did you accept $14

from reputed Russian mob boss,
Yuri "Potatohead" Bulkov?

Yes.

-Can I ask you something?
-Yes.

-That's your Brockwell?
-Yes.

It's a lousy Brockwell.

-It's better than yours.
-I don't think so.

Oh, hey, I spoke to my friend

who's head of tourist part
of Massachusetts.

He's gonna set you guys up
with a whole weekend

-get away package.
-Really?

-Yeah. I hope that's okay.
-No, it's great.

I don't know when
we'll able to do it.

Paul's busy with his film, but--

-Weed.
-Weed.

-That's very sweet.
-Oh, okay.

Well, let's get back
to work, huh?

One of us has to be Bulkov.
Why don't you be Bulkov?

-Why don't you be Bulkov.
-No, no. You be Bulkov.

-I don't want to be Bulkov.
-I don't want to be Bulkov.

Come on, honey,
you're gonna miss it.

I can't believe
you're gonna watch it.

Oh, how can I not watch it?

Well, it's just good
to see you happy again.

I'm happy. I'm thrilled.
Getting fired was so liberating.

It's gonna be the best thing
that ever happened to me.

You're in such deep,
deep denial.

It's not denial. It's ecstasy.

You're gonna get
something great. I know it.

-Do I look worried?
-No, that's what worry's me.

Come on.
Why don't you get fired with me?

We'll stay home.
We'll be happy as clams.

I can't. Big mama
has gotta bring home the bacon.

You hear that? Mama is gonna
bring home some bacon.

[DOOR BUZZER]

-What did you forget.
-I love you.

-It's gonna be fine.
-I know.

See you,
you could never lose your job

and even if you did,
you would find work in a minute.

You know why?
Because you're very good.

[DOOR BUZZER]

How often
is there a world premiere?

-Now, you're gonna be late.
-Doug will cover for me.

All right. Now, you know,
if they left in the crane shot

and they didn't redo
the narration,

and they didn't put in
that stupid music,

-it might not be that terrible.
-That's the spirit, honey.

NARRATOR: Next on the Explorer Channel,

a weed is terrorized by a cat
and a crazed gardener

on the world premiere of Weed.

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