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1
00:00:06,075 --> 00:00:08,008
What do you think
Janson's doing right now?
2
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:11,183
-Janson who?
-Our dermatologist.
3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,014
What's he doing?
4
00:00:14,531 --> 00:00:16,154
Yeah. What's he doing right now?
5
00:00:16,154 --> 00:00:17,948
Right now, 10:30
in the middle of the night?
6
00:00:17,948 --> 00:00:18,949
Yeah.
7
00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:21,469
Sleeping? Watching TV?
8
00:00:22,194 --> 00:00:24,058
Come on,
you can do better than that.
9
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,612
Okay. Janson...
10
00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:35,138
Janson is roaming the streets
with some cream and a laser.
11
00:00:36,312 --> 00:00:38,693
And he's removing things
from people,
12
00:00:38,693 --> 00:00:41,800
but without their permission,
almost against their will.
13
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,182
And then he runs, he runs away.
And he has a mask
14
00:00:44,182 --> 00:00:46,218
so you can't recognize him.
And the police chase him
15
00:00:46,218 --> 00:00:48,082
but he's fast
like the wind so eludes them.
16
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:51,810
You're very good to me.
17
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:56,470
♪ [THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
18
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,747
Can I just say that right now,
19
00:01:32,747 --> 00:01:34,853
I have everything
I need in life.
20
00:01:34,853 --> 00:01:36,096
I've got my special K.
21
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,994
I got a pretty girl
who likes me,
22
00:01:37,994 --> 00:01:39,202
sport section of the Times.
23
00:01:39,858 --> 00:01:41,791
Want to try the Honey Nut Bran?
24
00:01:41,791 --> 00:01:44,828
No, Cereals with a K,
can't beat them.
25
00:01:44,828 --> 00:01:46,002
Want the front section?
26
00:01:46,761 --> 00:01:48,315
Sports section, happy, happy.
27
00:01:49,454 --> 00:01:52,664
Nine thousand other fascinating
items in the paper.
28
00:01:52,664 --> 00:01:54,286
Yeah, but you know what?
Nah.
29
00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:57,565
"Deep Freeze
Grips Southern States."
30
00:01:58,290 --> 00:02:00,016
So? It's the south.
It will pass.
31
00:02:01,845 --> 00:02:04,124
"Hillary Clinton Embattled."
She's embattled.
32
00:02:04,538 --> 00:02:07,092
Can't you just leave her alone,
the nice lady.
33
00:02:07,679 --> 00:02:09,336
"Malaysia Signs Trade Pact."
34
00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:11,269
-Babe.
-JAMIE: All right, all right.
35
00:02:11,269 --> 00:02:12,511
[PHONE RINGS]
36
00:02:12,511 --> 00:02:15,238
Look at this, "Nickel Increase
in Subway Token Expected."
37
00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,171
This is the thing I worked on
with Brockwell.
38
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,517
-Hello.
-Hey, it's me.
39
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:19,725
-Hey, Mark.
-How you doing?
40
00:02:19,725 --> 00:02:21,141
-How you doing?
-I'm good. I'm good.
41
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,659
-You doing good?
-I'm fine. I'm good.
42
00:02:22,659 --> 00:02:24,040
-You doing good?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43
00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,628
-It's good. Except--
-What?
44
00:02:26,076 --> 00:02:28,631
-Nah... Nothing.
-What?
45
00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:32,117
-No, no, it's nothing.
-It's not nothing--
46
00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:34,361
It's stupid. I don't know
why I bring it up...
47
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:35,810
-Tell me. What is it?
-It's Fran.
48
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:36,880
-Fran?
-Fran.
49
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,158
-What?
-And Ira.
50
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,297
Fran and Ira?
51
00:02:39,297 --> 00:02:40,953
When is he gonna stop with that?
52
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,819
Mark, can I... I promise you
it is over with those guys.
53
00:02:44,819 --> 00:02:46,649
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, so you keep saying,
54
00:02:46,649 --> 00:02:48,202
so they keep saying, right?
55
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,929
But the thing is, yesterday,
I'm over at Fran's, right?
56
00:02:50,929 --> 00:02:52,551
And who stops by,
just out of the blue,
57
00:02:52,551 --> 00:02:53,828
out of nowhere?
58
00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:55,589
-Ira?
-Ira.
59
00:02:56,866 --> 00:02:58,039
Well, listen, they're friends.
60
00:02:58,039 --> 00:02:59,593
Yeah, you see, I don't buy that.
61
00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,181
-What is there not to buy?
-No, I don't buy that.
62
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,148
-Mark, they're friends.
-Who stops in the middle--
63
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:04,805
People go to
each other's homes--
64
00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:06,220
And it's upsetting me.
I'm telling you.
65
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,566
And I'll tell you something.
66
00:03:07,566 --> 00:03:08,843
-I'll tell, you.
-What?
67
00:03:09,396 --> 00:03:11,915
I'm starting to understand
crimes of passion.
68
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:13,745
[BEEP]
69
00:03:13,745 --> 00:03:15,264
You know? Hold that
very important thought.
70
00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:16,541
The thing is beeping. Hold on.
71
00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:18,957
Look. "Nickel increase
would fund street renaming."
72
00:03:18,957 --> 00:03:20,476
-What? Hello.
-Hey.
73
00:03:20,476 --> 00:03:22,478
Hey, Splinky,
how is it to be you?
74
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:23,858
-Iris.
-Iris?
75
00:03:23,858 --> 00:03:25,101
She's killing me.
76
00:03:25,101 --> 00:03:26,516
You know what?
Hold on one second.
77
00:03:26,896 --> 00:03:28,794
-Iris. She's killing him.
-Hey.
78
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:30,589
Hey. Okay.
So now she won't talk to me.
79
00:03:30,589 --> 00:03:32,384
-What did you do?
-I don't know.
80
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:33,454
She won't talk to me.
81
00:03:33,868 --> 00:03:35,284
All right.
Just wait on one second.
82
00:03:35,284 --> 00:03:37,217
-What should I do?
-This is Brockwell's big plan
83
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,184
to save the city,
rename the streets?
84
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:41,704
-What do you want me to do?
-I'll call Mark back.
85
00:03:41,704 --> 00:03:42,670
Hang on. One second.
86
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,880
Mark, Okay.
This is how over it is.
87
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,882
Ira now on the other phone,
complaining.
88
00:03:47,882 --> 00:03:49,712
He's being tortured
by another woman.
89
00:03:49,712 --> 00:03:50,713
Really?
90
00:03:51,714 --> 00:03:54,268
I swear to you right now
on the other line, tortured.
91
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,408
Oh, if I could only
believe that.
92
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,893
-Why wouldn't you believe it?
-It's not that.
93
00:03:58,893 --> 00:04:01,620
It's just something
that's getting me upset.
94
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:04,692
Okay. Okay.
Call me back. Call me back.
95
00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:08,593
It's like talking
to a neurotic auctioneer.
96
00:04:10,388 --> 00:04:11,561
-Ira?
-Yeah.
97
00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:13,494
I ask her like a hundred times
what's wrong.
98
00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,807
-Every time, the same answer.
-What?
99
00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,947
Nothing. Nothing.
Don't you understand?
100
00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:19,397
She will not talk to me.
101
00:04:19,397 --> 00:04:22,158
"Major streets to be given names
like Avenue of the Americas."
102
00:04:22,158 --> 00:04:23,780
"Avenue of the Americas"?
Have you been there?
103
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:25,748
They should just call it,
"Run For Your Life Boulevard."
104
00:04:27,474 --> 00:04:30,373
I mean, she'll just make faces.
It's like dating Harpo Marx.
105
00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:31,443
[BEEP]
106
00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,307
I'm sorry, you got to hang
on one second.
107
00:04:33,825 --> 00:04:35,551
-Hello. Hey.
-Hey.
108
00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:37,069
-It's mine or yours?
-Mine.
109
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,589
Oh, it's Special K time.
110
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:41,936
-What's going on?
-It's Mark.
111
00:04:41,936 --> 00:04:44,214
He's upset about Ira again
because Ira came over--
112
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:45,802
And Mark was there. I heard.
113
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,977
Ira was returning a crock pot.
114
00:04:48,564 --> 00:04:50,876
Fran, are you sure it's over
between you and Ira?
115
00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:52,568
-Yes.
-All right. Hold on a minute.
116
00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:55,605
Are you sure it's over
between you and Fran?
117
00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:57,607
-Absolutely.
-All right. Hang on a minute.
118
00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:59,747
-She says hello by the way.
-Oh, hello back.
119
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:02,094
Here's what we'll do.
We'll have dinner.
120
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:04,890
The six of us, you and Mark,
Me and Paul, Ira and Iris.
121
00:05:04,890 --> 00:05:06,823
This way, Mark will see
that it's really over
122
00:05:06,823 --> 00:05:09,412
and we'll make nice to Iris
and she'll talk to Ira again.
123
00:05:09,412 --> 00:05:11,000
-That's a great idea.
-All right, hold on.
124
00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,278
We'll have dinner.
The six of us.
125
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:15,556
You and Iris, me and Paul,
and Mark and Fran.
126
00:05:15,556 --> 00:05:17,489
This way, Mark will see
that's it's really over.
127
00:05:17,489 --> 00:05:18,663
We'll make nice to Iris
128
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:20,216
and she'll start talking
to Ira again.
129
00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:21,321
That's a great idea.
130
00:05:21,804 --> 00:05:23,357
Honey, we're gonna have dinner.
131
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,981
The six of us, you, me,
Mark, Fran, Ira and Iris.
132
00:05:28,776 --> 00:05:29,881
That's not a good idea.
133
00:05:30,985 --> 00:05:32,918
It will help knit them together.
134
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:34,472
-I don't wanna knit.
-Hang on a minute.
135
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:36,991
-He thinks it's a great idea.
-BOTH: Who?
136
00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:39,166
-Ira. He says hello by the way.
-Oh, tell him hello.
137
00:05:39,166 --> 00:05:40,409
I did.
You'll speak to Mark?
138
00:05:40,409 --> 00:05:41,548
-I'll speak to Mark.
-Okay.
139
00:05:41,548 --> 00:05:42,652
-Honey?
-I'll speak to you.
140
00:05:42,652 --> 00:05:44,067
-I'll speak to you.
-All right.
141
00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:45,068
-Honey?
-Hang on.
142
00:05:45,724 --> 00:05:47,864
-So you'll speak to Iris?
-Yeah, I'll speak to Iris.
143
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:49,418
She won't speak to me,
I'll speak to you.
144
00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:50,833
-I'll speak to you.
-All right.
145
00:05:50,833 --> 00:05:52,006
Honey, can I speak to you?
146
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,114
Can you just explain
one thing to me. Honey?
147
00:05:56,942 --> 00:05:58,772
-Honey?
-What?
148
00:05:58,772 --> 00:05:59,807
Pick up.
149
00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:02,741
-Who is it?
-Me.
150
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,402
-What?
-Why are we doing this?
151
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,852
Because they're our friends.
152
00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:13,511
Yeah, but it's gonna be, for us,
an evening guaranteed pain.
153
00:06:13,511 --> 00:06:16,376
-But we're their glue people.
-What?
154
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,481
We hold them together,
our little circle of friends.
155
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,414
-That's our job.
-How did we get that job?
156
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,036
Because we're the least crazy.
157
00:06:22,934 --> 00:06:24,832
Yeah, but by a little,
by so little.
158
00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:28,940
I think... They look up to us,
I think, socially.
159
00:06:29,492 --> 00:06:31,529
-They look up to us?
-Don't you think, a little?
160
00:06:31,529 --> 00:06:34,048
Huh! I don't know.
Let me think about it.
161
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,636
I'll call you back
from the living room.
162
00:06:40,917 --> 00:06:45,163
MAN: And so the swans of the Central Park boat pond
163
00:06:45,163 --> 00:06:46,647
stagger toward extinction
164
00:06:46,647 --> 00:06:49,926
while New York turns
an unfeeling ear.
165
00:06:50,858 --> 00:06:52,895
-That's so sad.
-[PHONE RINGS]
166
00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:53,896
It's so sad.
167
00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:56,416
-Hello.
-JAMIE: Put your TV on?
168
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,486
What?
169
00:06:57,486 --> 00:06:59,280
JAMIE: Two, four, seven, eleven
or New York one.
170
00:06:59,280 --> 00:07:01,006
-Put your TV on.
-Why?
171
00:07:01,006 --> 00:07:02,801
JAMIE: What is the big deal?
Put your TV on!
172
00:07:02,801 --> 00:07:04,147
All right. All right. All right.
173
00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:05,839
First of all,
let me say thank you...
174
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:07,392
-Hey.
-Hi.
175
00:07:07,979 --> 00:07:11,154
-Look at you. You're on TV.
-I'm on TV.
176
00:07:12,293 --> 00:07:14,882
-Look at you. Look at her.
-She looks damn good.
177
00:07:16,850 --> 00:07:19,128
Wait a second. You're on TV
178
00:07:19,128 --> 00:07:21,648
-and yet you're talking to me.
-I know.
179
00:07:21,648 --> 00:07:24,892
[CHUCKLES]
So, so signal me or something.
180
00:07:24,892 --> 00:07:26,722
Do something that, like,
only I can know.
181
00:07:26,722 --> 00:07:28,240
Okay. Okay. Watch. You ready?
182
00:07:29,759 --> 00:07:32,590
I love
183
00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:35,351
Greek dancing?
184
00:07:37,077 --> 00:07:39,769
-You, you, you. You love me.
-I do. I do. I do.
185
00:07:39,769 --> 00:07:41,840
-She loves me.
-She's a fine young woman.
186
00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:43,946
Can you do something else?
Do something else?
187
00:07:45,637 --> 00:07:48,398
All right. Watch this.
Watch very closely.
188
00:07:48,813 --> 00:07:51,091
This is the first
human breast ever
189
00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:52,230
on live television.
190
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,265
Get out of here.
191
00:07:53,645 --> 00:07:54,888
-Ready?
-PAUL: Yeah.
192
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:57,235
[CHEERS]
193
00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:01,722
-Hey, this is fun.
-It's a whole lot of fun.
194
00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:04,069
What are you looking at?
195
00:08:06,451 --> 00:08:07,625
What are you doing there?
196
00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:09,419
Just been making calls
about the dinner.
197
00:08:09,419 --> 00:08:11,007
Oh, boy, this dinner.
198
00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:12,422
Fran is nervous
because she's afraid
199
00:08:12,422 --> 00:08:14,355
Mark's gonna be uncomfortable but I mollified her.
200
00:08:14,355 --> 00:08:16,012
I have decided
to seek the office
201
00:08:16,012 --> 00:08:17,462
of Mayor of New York City.
202
00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:18,774
I'll mollify Mark.
203
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,501
-And then I'll see you later.
-One second.
204
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,950
My special assistant,
Doug Berkus,
205
00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,573
and my campaign chairpeople,
206
00:08:24,573 --> 00:08:26,920
Ms. Jamie Buchman
and Ms. Fran Devenow.
207
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,369
The dinner will be fun
but we--
208
00:08:28,369 --> 00:08:29,612
-James?
-What?
209
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,028
I have to go.
210
00:08:40,243 --> 00:08:42,936
I am a campaign manager
for a candidate
211
00:08:42,936 --> 00:08:45,352
for the office of the Mayor
of the City of New York.
212
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,009
You are very telegenic,
may I say that?
213
00:08:47,009 --> 00:08:47,975
You wanna hear my--
214
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:51,600
-My idea for this campaign?
-Yes, shoot.
215
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,017
Paul Buchman directs
Lance Brockwell's commercials.
216
00:08:55,604 --> 00:08:58,123
-Oh, no, no, no.
-Oh, why? You'd be perfect.
217
00:08:58,123 --> 00:09:00,505
-Oh, no. No, no, no.
-Oh, come on. You're a genius.
218
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,128
You'd work so much harder
than some higher...
219
00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:05,510
No, wait. Before you say no
just hear me out.
220
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:06,856
Okay.
221
00:09:08,789 --> 00:09:09,790
Please.
222
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:13,691
Sweetie, it's politics.
I'm not, you know...
223
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:16,797
I'm against... I'm not...
I'm like anti. I'm non--
224
00:09:16,797 --> 00:09:18,523
-You're apolitical.
-Apolitical.
225
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:20,421
I don't-- I mean,
you know, I'm Switzerland.
226
00:09:20,421 --> 00:09:22,251
You know what I mean?
I don't get involved.
227
00:09:22,251 --> 00:09:24,978
Switzerland would get involved
under certain circumstances.
228
00:09:24,978 --> 00:09:27,670
-Like what?
-Like if it's wife asked it to.
229
00:09:28,740 --> 00:09:30,397
You know what?
Plus, I've got to say.
230
00:09:30,397 --> 00:09:32,399
I'm not that crazy
about Brockwell.
231
00:09:33,780 --> 00:09:34,884
-Really?
-Yeah.
232
00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:37,611
To me, he's a little officious.
233
00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:39,613
Officious?
234
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:41,132
Yes, that's a word
I'm proud to know.
235
00:09:43,237 --> 00:09:47,656
Well, he is not officious,
at worse, he's indefatigable.
236
00:09:47,656 --> 00:09:50,037
-Is this like a contest now?
-And that's at worst.
237
00:09:50,555 --> 00:09:52,419
Plus, that whole renaming
the streets thing...
238
00:09:52,419 --> 00:09:55,456
It's a symbolic gesture.
It will make people feel good.
239
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:58,356
It raises their subway prices.
It will make them feel broke.
240
00:09:58,805 --> 00:10:00,600
And it's not
just street renaming.
241
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,394
They're building that school
in Staten Island.
242
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,155
They're gonna get rid
of those awful plates
243
00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:05,432
-on 8th Avenue.
-8th Avenue?
244
00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:06,916
You mean, Sophie Tucker Drive?
245
00:10:07,814 --> 00:10:09,194
It's a nickel.
246
00:10:09,194 --> 00:10:10,402
It's the principle of it.
247
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,301
Plus, and this is
the clincher for me,
248
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,543
it said in the article,
249
00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:15,097
because I'm reading
all the sections now,
250
00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,202
it says Brockwell in 1993,
251
00:10:17,202 --> 00:10:18,721
he was the Commissioner
of Parks.
252
00:10:18,721 --> 00:10:22,345
1993 is exactly the year
that the city turned its back
253
00:10:22,345 --> 00:10:24,106
on the swans,
the little darling swans
254
00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:25,486
in the Central Park boat pond.
255
00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,248
So, are you saying
you're gonna vote for Giuliani?
256
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,630
Yes.
257
00:10:31,492 --> 00:10:35,013
Well, obviously it's your vote
to do with it as you please.
258
00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:36,290
Oh, thank you.
259
00:10:36,290 --> 00:10:38,223
But that would be
a crushing mistake.
260
00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,880
-I don't believe it would.
-Well, I know
261
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,917
that it would be
a crushing mistake.
262
00:10:41,917 --> 00:10:43,677
Brockwell is smarter
than Giuliani.
263
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:46,162
-He has vision.
-Vision of what?
264
00:10:46,162 --> 00:10:47,543
Streets with new names?
265
00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:50,339
-Come on, the Nazis did that.
-Oh, don't start with the Nazis.
266
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:51,720
-Well, they did.
-You always do that.
267
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,169
You're gonna play
the Nazi card now?
268
00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:55,206
I'll tell you something else.
The Nazis were officious--
269
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,794
That is the cheapest way.
270
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,589
That is the cheapest way
to win an argument.
271
00:10:59,589 --> 00:11:02,040
-You just call in the Nazis.
-Only when it's appropriate.
272
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,870
You think I couldn't win
an argument that way?
273
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:05,043
Listen, what's the big deal?
274
00:11:05,043 --> 00:11:06,286
So, we'll vote
for different mayors.
275
00:11:06,286 --> 00:11:08,875
-Is that, like, a big deal?
-It is a big deal.
276
00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:11,187
Don't you agree
that our personal politics
277
00:11:11,187 --> 00:11:13,638
are reflections
of our moral color
278
00:11:13,638 --> 00:11:16,054
and that moral and intellectual
compatibility
279
00:11:16,054 --> 00:11:17,331
are elementally important?
280
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:21,611
I don't know what you just said.
281
00:11:23,303 --> 00:11:26,030
-A crushing mistake.
-Do you think so?
282
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,171
You should be supporting
your spouse. I support you.
283
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:30,275
Well, that's different.
284
00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,863
What are you gonna be?
Anti-swan?
285
00:11:32,726 --> 00:11:35,280
All right. Fine. You know what,
vote for whoever you want.
286
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,350
Thank you.
287
00:11:36,799 --> 00:11:38,767
-It's a crushing mistake.
-There it is.
288
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,785
A nickel.
That's all he said.
289
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:58,441
One puny, little nickel.
290
00:11:58,441 --> 00:12:01,375
And besides, Brockwell
is more educated than Giuliani.
291
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,274
He has more class than Giuliani.
292
00:12:03,274 --> 00:12:05,828
He's gonna make New York,
New York again,
293
00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:09,418
fun city, the big apple,
Gotham.
294
00:12:11,282 --> 00:12:13,249
I've never been more frightened
in my life.
295
00:12:14,803 --> 00:12:17,564
All I'm saying
is just meet with Berkus.
296
00:12:17,564 --> 00:12:20,049
Let him tell you a little bit
about Brockwell.
297
00:12:20,049 --> 00:12:21,741
How long have you
been waiting there?
298
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,881
If after that,
you still don't believe in him
299
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,330
and you don't wanna do
the spots,
300
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,125
then I promise you,
the issue is closed forever.
301
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:29,472
-We'll just agree to disagree.
-Okay.
302
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:32,682
-You'll meet with Berkus?
-Yeah, just stop yelling at me.
303
00:12:32,682 --> 00:12:33,856
You won't be sorry.
304
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,932
Look, I appreciate it,
I really do and I love my wife,
305
00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:44,004
but I just got to tell you,
I'm not interested.
306
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:46,041
I understand,
I understand completely.
307
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,111
No. You're just saying that
308
00:12:47,111 --> 00:12:48,698
so you can talk to me
into directing
309
00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:50,355
-this Brockwell commercial.
-No, no,
310
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:52,150
I respect your opinion, Paul.
I really do.
311
00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:54,808
Hey, look,
that street renaming thing,
312
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,189
not Brockwell's finest hour.
313
00:12:57,121 --> 00:12:58,847
Come on.
Emerson Boozer Avenue.
314
00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:01,435
Oh, and he did turn his back
315
00:13:01,435 --> 00:13:03,127
on the swans
at the boat pond, huh?
316
00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:06,026
-I know and that is so sad.
-So sad.
317
00:13:06,026 --> 00:13:08,132
And believe me, Paul,
he feels terrible about it,
318
00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:09,927
-he really does.
-All right. I believe you.
319
00:13:09,927 --> 00:13:10,928
WAITER: Here you go.
320
00:13:11,687 --> 00:13:14,241
Look. I am a big fan of Jamie's
as is Lance,
321
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:16,002
and if Jamie tells me
you're the man
322
00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:17,624
to direct this commercial
then you tell me
323
00:13:17,624 --> 00:13:19,695
what I got to do
to make it happen. Okay?
324
00:13:19,695 --> 00:13:21,455
Doug, I don't know
what to tell you.
325
00:13:21,455 --> 00:13:23,009
When you get right down to it,
326
00:13:23,009 --> 00:13:26,012
our visions of New York City
really aren't that far apart.
327
00:13:26,702 --> 00:13:29,118
-They're not?
-No, no, no, listen.
328
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:31,120
-Hear me out on this. Okay?
-Okay.
329
00:13:31,672 --> 00:13:34,227
We see a shining New York City.
330
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,125
Well, who doesn't?
331
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,991
A New York in which optimism
has replaced bleakness.
332
00:13:39,991 --> 00:13:42,028
-That would be nice.
-In which we face tomorrow
333
00:13:42,028 --> 00:13:43,961
with a spring in our step,
334
00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:46,549
knowing that we live in
the greatest town in the world.
335
00:13:46,964 --> 00:13:48,517
-And don't we?
-And we do.
336
00:13:48,517 --> 00:13:50,622
And we want people to recapture
that magical way
337
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,624
that we all used to feel
about New York, huh?
338
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,212
-Yeah, yeah.
-DOUG: Do you remember
339
00:13:54,212 --> 00:13:55,489
-when you were a kid?
-Sure.
340
00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:56,974
DOUG: Hey, going
to the Hayden Planetarium.
341
00:13:56,974 --> 00:13:58,630
In Fourth grade
that was my field trip.
342
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:01,461
-Okay, or the Met?
-I don't go, but I mean to.
343
00:14:01,461 --> 00:14:02,772
DOUG: Okay, sure.
344
00:14:02,772 --> 00:14:04,429
You're thinking,
"God, I can't believe
345
00:14:04,429 --> 00:14:05,914
that I get to live here."
346
00:14:05,914 --> 00:14:07,916
Well, I grew up in Queens,
but also nice.
347
00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:10,711
Sure. We want New Yorkers
to wake up to a new day
348
00:14:10,711 --> 00:14:12,506
and look out
and see the Statute of Liberty
349
00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:14,336
or the Empire State Building
350
00:14:14,336 --> 00:14:16,994
or the majesty
of the Sheep's meadow,
351
00:14:16,994 --> 00:14:18,685
and say, "Damn it!"
352
00:14:18,685 --> 00:14:21,274
"It's morning
in Central Park again."
353
00:14:22,723 --> 00:14:24,346
My God.
Did you just think of that?
354
00:14:24,346 --> 00:14:25,381
I just did, right there.
355
00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:31,905
NARRATOR: There's a new day
dawning in New York
356
00:14:32,388 --> 00:14:34,459
and a new spirit with it.
357
00:14:35,046 --> 00:14:37,738
It's a spirit that knows
that soon
358
00:14:37,738 --> 00:14:42,226
as sure as the sun will rise over Avenue of the Immigrants,
359
00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:46,471
New York will once again
be the City of Dreams.
360
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:51,545
Lance Brockwell for Mayor.
361
00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:54,169
It's morning
in Central Park again.
362
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:57,793
Oh, my God.
363
00:14:58,207 --> 00:15:00,761
-Oh, my God.
-Wow.
364
00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:02,625
What did I do?
365
00:15:03,212 --> 00:15:04,938
You're a genius.
366
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,733
I'm a manipulator of minds.
367
00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:09,322
I'm a propagandist.
I'm Leni Riefenstahl.
368
00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:12,014
-No, no, I don't think so.
-I am. I am Leni Riefenstahl.
369
00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:14,223
No, you're not. At least
be proud of your work.
370
00:15:14,223 --> 00:15:16,053
-I'm going to throw up.
-Oh, please don't.
371
00:15:16,053 --> 00:15:18,089
Oh, I'm going to go
straight to hell for this.
372
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:20,298
-Well, eat something first.
-Your table is ready.
373
00:15:20,298 --> 00:15:21,851
-Okay.
-Oh, my God.
374
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,440
We should do a media blitz
on this.
375
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,994
No, no, blitz, no blitz.
376
00:15:25,994 --> 00:15:27,685
Print ads, radio lifts.
377
00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:29,135
Sweetie,
we got to talk about this.
378
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:31,033
-We will, be a glue person.
-Oh, hi.
379
00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:32,345
-Hi.
-Is Ira here yet?
380
00:15:32,345 --> 00:15:33,553
-No, he's not.
-Good
381
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,935
because I need to soak up
the place for a minute.
382
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,938
You know, just get comfortable
to my surroundings.
383
00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:42,044
Okay. I'm fine.
Okay, sit down. Sit down.
384
00:15:42,044 --> 00:15:43,183
-Hey.
-Hey.
385
00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:44,978
-Hey, hey, hey.
-Hi.
386
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:46,911
-You know your ex-husband.
-Hi.
387
00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:49,431
-How you doing?
-Is Mark nervous?
388
00:15:49,431 --> 00:15:51,053
He's calming down
and so should you.
389
00:15:51,053 --> 00:15:52,503
Oh, cool as a cucumber.
390
00:15:53,193 --> 00:15:54,850
-Hey, what's up?
-ALL: Hey!
391
00:15:55,644 --> 00:15:57,646
Iris, you know Mark and Fran.
392
00:15:57,646 --> 00:16:00,304
Hi, so you're Mark which would
make you Fran.
393
00:16:00,304 --> 00:16:01,408
[CHUCKLES]
394
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:03,583
-See? She talks.
-Sure, to you.
395
00:16:04,549 --> 00:16:06,793
Listen,
I know that you and Ira--
396
00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:08,898
I'm not talking to him.
And I don't want to.
397
00:16:08,898 --> 00:16:11,487
-Don't ask me to talk to him.
-I wasn't going to but, okay.
398
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:12,557
Okay. Yeah, that's fine.
399
00:16:15,664 --> 00:16:18,149
Okay. So...
400
00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:31,300
-So how is everybody?
-Good. Good. I'm very good.
401
00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:33,371
-Good. Good, very good.
-I'm good. I'm good.
402
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:34,476
I'm good. I'm good.
403
00:16:37,306 --> 00:16:38,790
-How you guys?
-We're good.
404
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,206
We're good, very good.
405
00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:47,489
Hey,
maybe we can get some drinks.
406
00:16:47,489 --> 00:16:49,111
How about a little bruschetta
for the table.
407
00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:51,458
-That sounds great.
-Yeah, yeah. Good. Good.
408
00:16:54,703 --> 00:16:56,912
-Is it brusquetta?
-Brushetta.
409
00:16:56,912 --> 00:16:58,914
-I thought it was brushquetta.
-Brushquetta?
410
00:16:58,914 --> 00:17:00,295
The bread with the topping.
411
00:17:00,295 --> 00:17:02,918
-Yeah. Yeah.
-That's what I mean. Yeah.
412
00:17:06,784 --> 00:17:07,957
Oh, Paulie, Paulie,
413
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,891
congratulations on the Brockwell
for Mayor commercial.
414
00:17:10,891 --> 00:17:12,755
-Did you see it?
-What, are you kidding me?
415
00:17:12,755 --> 00:17:14,447
It's on all the time.
It's very impressive.
416
00:17:14,447 --> 00:17:16,000
-Isn't it?
-Sure is.
417
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,623
I got to say, I'm a little
of two minds about it because--
418
00:17:18,623 --> 00:17:20,936
That Brockwell commercial
is yours, Paul?
419
00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:22,455
-Yeah, well--
-Isn't it great?
420
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,215
It sure is. It's brilliant.
421
00:17:24,215 --> 00:17:27,908
It's moving and stirring.
It's brilliant.
422
00:17:27,908 --> 00:17:30,946
Well, I got to tell ya,
in my heart, I'm sorry--
423
00:17:30,946 --> 00:17:33,535
You directed
the Brockwell commercial?
424
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:34,639
I did.
425
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:37,746
First time since the campaign
of Edmond Musky
426
00:17:37,746 --> 00:17:40,197
that my mind was actually
changed by one of those things.
427
00:17:40,197 --> 00:17:41,267
-Really?
-Oh, yeah.
428
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,062
Wait. So, you were
gonna vote for Giuliani?
429
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,926
Yeah, but now that would have
been a crushing mistake.
430
00:17:47,756 --> 00:17:49,999
I was completely on the fence
about it until I saw it
431
00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:51,829
and now, I am a Brockwell guy.
432
00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:54,935
Oh, listen. Can I just say?
Before you choose,
433
00:17:54,935 --> 00:17:56,834
study both candidates,
look at the platform--
434
00:17:56,834 --> 00:17:58,939
Excuse me,
did you say he directed
435
00:17:58,939 --> 00:18:01,080
the Lance Brockwell
for Mayor commercial?
436
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,323
-Because my whole family--
-All right, listen,
437
00:18:03,323 --> 00:18:05,118
can you get us the bread with
he topping?
438
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,188
I'll be your best friend.
439
00:18:06,188 --> 00:18:07,672
-Brusquitta?
-Whatever it is.
440
00:18:07,672 --> 00:18:09,709
Family of 12, all voters.
441
00:18:09,709 --> 00:18:11,745
All right, good to hear.
Thank you so much.
442
00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,747
Listen,
you really can't be swayed
443
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:15,611
-by a piece of advertising.
-Come on.
444
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:17,613
Time out. You don't give
yourself enough credit.
445
00:18:17,613 --> 00:18:19,270
How about the part, all right,
446
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:20,927
where Brockwell feeds the swans?
447
00:18:20,927 --> 00:18:23,895
-Oh, so uplifting.
-So uplifting.
448
00:18:23,895 --> 00:18:27,002
And then when they say,
"As sure as the sun will rise...
449
00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:29,867
BOTH:
"Over Avenue of the Immigrants."
450
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:31,558
Listen. Listen.
No, wait a second.
451
00:18:31,558 --> 00:18:33,491
This is like I sold pudding
or a Coke.
452
00:18:33,491 --> 00:18:34,872
This is a moral thing here.
453
00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:37,288
Much more important than a Coke
because I'm telling you, Paul.
454
00:18:37,288 --> 00:18:40,049
Had you been there in '88
President Dukakis,
455
00:18:40,049 --> 00:18:43,260
by hand to God.
Do you remember '88, Fran?
456
00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:44,847
-How can I forget?
-Oh, yeah.
457
00:18:45,296 --> 00:18:46,435
-Hey, Ira, Iris.
-Ira Iris?
458
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:48,057
Ira, Iris.
459
00:18:48,057 --> 00:18:50,198
That' terrific,
Ira, Iris, Iris, Ira!
460
00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:52,131
All right, listen to me,
listen to me!
461
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:54,823
Hey, I disown, I hereby disown
that Brockwell commercial.
462
00:18:54,823 --> 00:18:57,032
That doesn't reflect my opinion.
That's not me.
463
00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:58,792
No, I was coerced,
and I was charmed.
464
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,208
There was some marital pressure.
465
00:19:00,208 --> 00:19:02,589
-Hey, hey, "marital pressure"?
-Yes.
466
00:19:02,589 --> 00:19:05,213
-From whom?
-Wait. Hey, guys, guys, guys.
467
00:19:05,213 --> 00:19:06,662
Fran, let me apologize.
468
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:08,354
I'm sorry I got nuts
about Ira yesterday.
469
00:19:08,354 --> 00:19:10,873
-It's all right.
-And, Ira, I got to apologize
470
00:19:10,873 --> 00:19:12,737
because you know a man
fears the worse.
471
00:19:12,737 --> 00:19:15,257
Hey, hey,
no apology necessary.
472
00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:17,363
Ira talks about you
all the time?
473
00:19:17,363 --> 00:19:18,502
-He does?
-Yes.
474
00:19:18,502 --> 00:19:20,228
-You do?
-If you were talking to me,
475
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:21,505
-you'd know that.
-PAUL: Listen.
476
00:19:21,505 --> 00:19:24,542
You know, Giuliani doesn't waste
your time with campaign fluff.
477
00:19:24,542 --> 00:19:27,614
-It's not fluff.
-It's total marshmallow fluff.
478
00:19:27,614 --> 00:19:31,998
May a say that you two make
a terrific-looking couple.
479
00:19:31,998 --> 00:19:33,689
-So handsome.
-He doesn't want
480
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,001
to rename the streets.
481
00:19:35,001 --> 00:19:37,348
He wants to make the streets
safe again for your babies.
482
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:38,936
-Their babies?
-Their babies.
483
00:19:38,936 --> 00:19:41,180
You know what, you're right.
You are a manipulator of minds.
484
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,078
-Come on. Come on.
-And you are a big
485
00:19:43,078 --> 00:19:45,770
tax payers money spender
on nothing.
486
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:49,153
By your logic, we shouldn't even
spend a nickel on city spirit?
487
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:50,775
-A nickel?
-Listen to this.
488
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:52,294
"Nickel" says subway girl
who thinks
489
00:19:52,294 --> 00:19:55,021
we need more symbols
and rallies, like who?
490
00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:57,057
-The Nazis?
-All right. There we go.
491
00:19:57,057 --> 00:19:58,818
No, no, no,
it's only a matter of time.
492
00:19:58,818 --> 00:20:00,233
You actual would be unable
493
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,201
to have a conversation
if there hadn't been Nazis.
494
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,650
-You know what?
-Are you guys okay?
495
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,997
-We're fine. You're deluded.
-We're dandy.
496
00:20:05,997 --> 00:20:08,379
The man
is a convicted swan killer.
497
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,933
-He's convicted?
-Not convicted, but you know it.
498
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:12,418
-I know it. Everybody knows it.
-Hey,
499
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:13,764
politics at the table is bad.
500
00:20:13,764 --> 00:20:15,628
-He started it.
-So you be the big person.
501
00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:17,906
-I'm always the big person.
-Yeah, big and wrong.
502
00:20:17,906 --> 00:20:19,148
-I'm not wrong.
-Oh, you're not?
503
00:20:19,148 --> 00:20:21,254
Well, you're not right,
so tell me what are you?
504
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,187
Listen to me.
If you guys are having problems,
505
00:20:23,187 --> 00:20:25,603
I could speak for all of us,
you can talk to us.
506
00:20:25,603 --> 00:20:26,984
-We're here to help.
-Yeah.
507
00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:28,606
-Sure.
-No, no, It's okay, really.
508
00:20:28,606 --> 00:20:30,436
I'm fine.
If she needs nothing more than
509
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,679
more parades and flag waving...
510
00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:33,853
All right, once again.
511
00:20:33,853 --> 00:20:35,372
...and marching bands,
and facetious hats--
512
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:36,821
Why don't you bring up
the Vikings?
513
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:38,927
See how much mileage
you can get out of them.
514
00:20:38,927 --> 00:20:41,585
Now you're just lashing blindly,
you're flailing,
515
00:20:41,585 --> 00:20:43,759
and I'll tell you something.
It's not attractive--
516
00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,244
[SCREAMING]
517
00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:50,387
What is the matter with them?
518
00:20:50,766 --> 00:20:52,630
Iris,
I'm sorry you had to see this.
519
00:20:52,630 --> 00:20:54,943
They're just nuts is
what they are.
520
00:20:54,943 --> 00:20:57,048
Frankly, I don't know
why we even invite them.
521
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,360
-I'll tell you why.
-IRA: Why?
522
00:20:58,912 --> 00:21:01,260
Because they look up to us
a little, socially.
523
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:03,227
-You think?
-Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
524
00:21:03,227 --> 00:21:06,368
-We hold them together.
-Huh? You may be right.
525
00:21:06,368 --> 00:21:07,404
Like glue.
526
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:18,277
Okay. Very simple.
527
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,589
What you want to do
is take Sophie Tucker Drive
528
00:21:20,589 --> 00:21:22,315
over to the Avenue
of the Immigrants
529
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:25,145
and then you make a left
on Boulevard of Dreams.
530
00:21:25,145 --> 00:21:27,803
Now Boulevard Dreams is one way,
so you stay on your right
531
00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:29,633
and you'll come
to Mario Procaccino.
532
00:21:30,392 --> 00:21:34,431
Yeah. Right. You make a right
on Mario Procaccino.
533
00:21:34,431 --> 00:21:36,536
Now, if you go left,
it's Mario Biaggi.
534
00:21:38,227 --> 00:21:39,884
That's right.
So Mario becomes Mario.
535
00:21:39,884 --> 00:21:41,576
Stay to your right.
It's Procaccino.
536
00:21:41,576 --> 00:21:44,199
You go across
Horace Clarke Avenue. Exactly.
537
00:21:44,199 --> 00:21:47,547
You see Zero Mostel Place
and Albert Shanker Circle.
538
00:21:48,617 --> 00:21:50,516
Now, be careful, because
it's tricky around the Circle.
539
00:21:50,516 --> 00:21:51,965
It's the third building
on the right.
540
00:21:51,965 --> 00:21:54,105
Now, if you hit Bella Abzug,
you went too far.
41214
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