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1
00:00:04,330 --> 00:00:07,330
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars,
2
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,660
Saturn, Uranus,
Jupiter, Pluto.
3
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:12,460
You lose.
Wait, wait, wait.
4
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:13,930
Murray,
this very nice lady
will be walking you.
5
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,660
Neptune! Neptune!
It's too late.
6
00:00:15,730 --> 00:00:17,660
Pick up some milk
while you're out.
It is not! No, no, no!
7
00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:19,030
Let's play again!
Let's play again!
You lost. You lost the game.
8
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:21,460
Wait! Mercury,
Venus, Earth, Mars,
9
00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:24,300
Saturn, Uranus,
Neptune, Pluto.
10
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,900
Jupiter.
11
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,230
You, you, you, you...
12
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,300
Hi. I'm Burt Buchman.
13
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,800
Yes, I'm Burt Buchman.
How are you?
Nice to meet you.
14
00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,830
I have reservations
under Buchman.
15
00:01:11,900 --> 00:01:14,130
Please, call me Burt.
16
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,430
They're not going
to ask our names.
17
00:01:16,500 --> 00:01:17,960
You never know.
I know.
18
00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:19,900
I'm telling you,
one little slip
19
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:22,300
then no all-paid
vacation, no resort,
20
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,730
no eat-till-you-puke buffet.
Like that.
21
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,160
Like that, we're back
on the road to Dullsville.
22
00:01:27,230 --> 00:01:28,830
Dullsville?
23
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:30,830
To Dullsville, yeah.
24
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:32,230
Boringtown.
25
00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:34,430
Rutland.
26
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,430
Yawnburg.
27
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,300
Mount Otony.
28
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,460
Get it?
I get it. I just didn't know
we lived there.
29
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:46,860
I'm just saying
it's good to get away
once in a while.
30
00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:48,460
That's true. It is.
31
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,460
Smell me.
32
00:01:50,530 --> 00:01:52,800
Very nice.
Hi. Burt Buchman.
33
00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:56,100
My lovely-smelling
wife, Sylvia.
34
00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,430
Why would he
surprise your mother
with a non-refundable trip?
35
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,100
"Why"? Why did he
make me take flute?
36
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,700
He told her this place
was supposed to be paradise?
Yes, he did.
37
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,830
So?
She said
it's not for her.
38
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,830
Oh! Oh! Did we lock
the apartment?
39
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,660
Yes, we did.
I don't remember
locking it.
40
00:02:11,730 --> 00:02:13,260
I must've locked it.
No, I'm gonna call...
41
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:15,000
I did! I did!
I did! I did!
Are you sure?
42
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:17,100
Yes, I did. I did.
I just want to make sure
everything's taken care of
43
00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,730
so we can enjoy
the next five days.
44
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:20,960
Five days.
45
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:22,500
Murray will be fine.
46
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,800
WOMAN ON PA:Ladies and gentlemen,at this time,
47
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:26,000
we'd like to beginboarding flight 827...
48
00:02:26,060 --> 00:02:29,130
That's us, Burt
and Sylvia Buchman.
49
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,030
They're not going
to ask our names.
50
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,560
Just...
Do me a favor.
51
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:34,730
Just be my mother
till we get
off the ground, please.
52
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:38,060
All right. What?
I can't wait to get you
in that hotel room!
53
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,230
Now I'm not interested.
54
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,560
No, no. Come on,
come on, come on.
55
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:48,660
(CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING)
56
00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:51,100
There's like a whole
ocean out there.
57
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,700
This is
the exact same room
as in the brochure.
58
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,000
I know.
Oh, and, uh...
59
00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:58,330
There you go.
Thank you very much.
Thanks.
60
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:01,200
Seemed pretty happy.
61
00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:02,830
What'd you give him?
Gave him, uh,
eight beads.
62
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:04,200
That's $35.
63
00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:07,860
I know.
64
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:11,160
Look. Fruit.
65
00:03:11,230 --> 00:03:12,500
You hear music?
66
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,500
Yeah, I do.
What is this?
67
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:18,500
Huh? That's a, uh...
What is that?
It's a breadfruit.
68
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,030
How do you eat it?
69
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,030
You get another one,
you get a couple of slices
of ham,
70
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,230
and you got yourself
a little sandwich.
71
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,860
Where's the remote,
do you think?
72
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:29,130
We're not gonna watch TV!
We're in paradise!
73
00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,430
I'm not gonna watch.
I'm just gonna turn it on.
74
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,460
It's probably
with the TV.
75
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:37,600
All right,
so where's the TV?
76
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:42,000
I don't know.
Maybe it pops up.
77
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:50,060
Doesn't pop up.
This is nuts.
78
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,730
I'm gonna call
the front desk.
Honey?
79
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,400
Wait a sec. There's no...
Wait, wait, wait...
Honey?
80
00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,830
"Leave yourself behind.
At Hotel St. Nicole,
81
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,500
"you will enjoy a relaxing
tropical atmosphere
82
00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,200
"with none
of the distractions
of modern life.
83
00:04:00,260 --> 00:04:04,330
"No phones, no TV,
just you and paradise."
84
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,860
What, are they kidding?
85
00:04:05,930 --> 00:04:07,830
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
86
00:04:07,900 --> 00:04:09,500
That's just wrong.
87
00:04:10,730 --> 00:04:12,030
Hi!
Hi!
88
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,600
Hi! I'm Trish Dawson.
Yes.
89
00:04:14,660 --> 00:04:16,060
We spoke last week.
90
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,730
We did?
Burt?
91
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,300
Trish!
Hi!
92
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,960
Hi. Come on in.
93
00:04:22,030 --> 00:04:23,760
This is my wife.
Honey, look, it's...
94
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,630
I know. I know.
Hi, Trish.
Hi!
95
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,330
So this is your room,
and you share the terrace,
96
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:30,900
and I have
a few things for you.
97
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:32,800
Oh, boy, and we
didn't get you
anything.
98
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:39,900
Okay, here's your, um,
schedules and activities.
Oh, good.
99
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,900
Here's the table numbers
and your cabana locations.
100
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,830
This is the tide schedule.
101
00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:47,500
Here's a map
of the island,
102
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,860
and our complimentary
shell diary.
103
00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:51,760
And here's a list
of four other couples
104
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:54,000
we think that you are
really gonna like.
105
00:04:54,060 --> 00:04:55,300
Other couples?
106
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:57,860
Based on our conversation,
we tailor-made your week
107
00:04:57,930 --> 00:04:59,930
just to fit
your personal profile.
108
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,200
Now, if there's
anything else you need,
you please let me know.
109
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,360
We will.
Yes.
110
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,360
Believe me
when I tell you,
111
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,100
this is going to be
the vacation
112
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,600
that Burt and Sylvia Buchman
have always dreamed of.
113
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,460
I've never been
more afraid in my life.
114
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,460
Can I just say I loved you
in The Lion in Winter?
115
00:05:28,700 --> 00:05:30,330
I'm very fair.
116
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,260
What'd you put on,
number 45?
117
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:33,660
What, you're kidding?
118
00:05:33,730 --> 00:05:35,660
You squeeze this,
a sweater comes out.
119
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,800
(GRUNTING)
120
00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:41,330
What's the matter?
121
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,030
I'm supposed to be my father.
You sit, you announce it.
122
00:05:46,730 --> 00:05:48,230
This is nice,
isn't it?
123
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,430
Mmm-hmm.
124
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:54,000
"I hear Genevieve had
an eventful voyage."
125
00:05:54,060 --> 00:05:56,160
Who's that?
126
00:05:56,230 --> 00:06:00,260
(READING IN FRENCH)
127
00:06:00,330 --> 00:06:01,430
What are you doing?
128
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,530
I am looking
for a man named Guy.
129
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:06,660
Don't look for
a man named Guy here!
130
00:06:06,730 --> 00:06:08,030
My French final's
in two weeks.
131
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,330
What happened to
leaving ourselves
behind?
132
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,560
All right. Tres bien.
133
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:15,160
All right. Come on,
isn't this nice?
134
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:17,260
Mmm-hmm. It's paradise.
135
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:20,200
That's right.
And plenty of it.
136
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:21,700
MAN: Burt and Sylvia!
Yes. What happened?
137
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,930
Sam and Fritzi Frank.
Hi.
138
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,760
FRITZI: Hello!
Hello.
139
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:27,900
You're on our list.
We're on the list?
140
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:29,860
Yeah, sure.
You're on the list.
141
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:31,960
(GRUNTING)
Oh!
142
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:35,760
Is this paradise
or what?
143
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,300
Yes, it is.
144
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,760
Yeah, sure. I understand
you're in the business.
145
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:41,360
In the business?
In sporting goods, yes!
146
00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:43,700
Sporting goods,
yes, for years. Yeah, sure.
147
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:44,860
Yeah, sure.
148
00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,200
I hear you like canasta.
149
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:47,400
From whom?
150
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:48,900
It's on the list.
151
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,630
So how's business?
152
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:51,830
Business?
Business is good, good.
Very good.
153
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,560
For you?
How's business for you?
154
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,030
Balls.
Mmm?
155
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:59,930
Balls, balls, balls,
balls. That's all anybody
wants, is balls.
156
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,430
Yeah. Well, kids.
Go figure.
157
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,060
You want me to spray you?
Excuse me?
158
00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:06,360
The bugs. They will
eat you alive.
159
00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:08,500
I don't see any bugs.
Ah! That's why they call 'em
"no-see-'ems."
160
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,060
You'll thank me later.
161
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,100
What do they do
with all these balls?
162
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,660
Nothing like
100 hands of canasta
What do they do
with all these balls?
163
00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:12,730
Nothing like
100 hands of canasta
164
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:12,800
Well, uh, uh...
Hey, welcome
to paradise.
165
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,630
to help you work up
an appetite.
Well, uh, uh...
Hey, welcome
to paradise.
166
00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:14,700
to help you work up
an appetite.
167
00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:15,160
Uh-huh.
to help you work up
an appetite.
168
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:15,230
Uh-huh.
169
00:07:15,230 --> 00:07:15,900
Burt, Sylvia, hi!
Uh-huh.
170
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:17,100
Burt, Sylvia, hi!
171
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,730
Hi.
Are you having
a good time?
172
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,030
Oh, the very best.
173
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,630
Oh, here's
your afternoon schedule.
174
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,130
I put you at table 17.
175
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,830
I want you
to enjoy your lunch.
Okay.
176
00:07:25,900 --> 00:07:27,530
Table 17 would be...
177
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,830
Eat first,
and then
I'll spray you!
178
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,100
Think this is...
This is table 17, I think.
179
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:36,030
So what do we got
to do today?
180
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,460
We eat, and I have
an archery lesson.
181
00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:39,530
You have a burro ride
on the beach.
182
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,430
And then
we're back together
for "Simon says."
183
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,730
I'm riding a burro?
184
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,260
Let's blow it off.
185
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:47,160
Can't. Can't blow it off.
Why not?
186
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:50,060
Because Burt Buchman
wouldn't blow off a burro.
187
00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:52,100
We can't do this.
What are we gonna do?
188
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,860
Well, tonight,
for example, karaoke.
189
00:07:54,930 --> 00:07:56,500
God help us.
190
00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,830
It'll be fine.
It'll be just fine.
191
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:01,030
Splink! Splink.
192
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,730
Excuse me?
193
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,700
My father. You never noticed
my father can't put
ice in a drink
194
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,400
without saying
"splink, splink"?
195
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:08,600
What does it mean?
196
00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:10,500
It means "splink!"
197
00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,630
I don't know. It's just
actually kind of fun.
Ready? Splink, splink.
198
00:08:13,700 --> 00:08:15,830
I'm really tired
of being your parents.
199
00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:19,100
Well, we already
left ourselves behind.
So who else you got?
200
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,830
Hi.
Bonjour.
201
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,760
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
You speak French.
202
00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:24,030
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
203
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:25,730
(WAITER INQUIRING
IN FRENCH)
204
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,630
(ORDERING IN FRENCH)
205
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:30,800
(INQUIRES
IN FRENCH)
206
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,130
Yeah, uh...
207
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,800
I'm gonna have a, uh...
208
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:36,600
Give me a Reuben
and, uh,
209
00:08:36,660 --> 00:08:38,600
the fries
of your people.
210
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,260
(ASKING FOR CLARIFICATION
IN FRENCH)
211
00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:47,630
(RESPONDING IN FRENCH)
212
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:48,800
(REPLIES IN FRENCH)
213
00:08:48,860 --> 00:08:49,800
(THANKS IN FRENCH)
214
00:08:51,100 --> 00:08:52,230
Hi.
215
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,430
Hi.
216
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,900
My husband and I
went to Europe last year.
217
00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,760
(MUTTERS IN AGREEMENT)
218
00:08:58,830 --> 00:09:00,900
What part of France
are you from?
219
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,600
We never...
Paris.
220
00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:06,630
I'm Louise.
This is Ron.
221
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,760
Hi. I'm Paul,
and this is my wife...
222
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,360
Simone. Bonjour.
223
00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:16,260
(ENUNCIATING)
I love your accent.
224
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:18,630
(IN FRENCH ACCENT)
Thank you, and I love yours.
225
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,700
Oh! You speak English.
226
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,760
A little.
227
00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,060
Listen, we are not...
228
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,830
Uh, very comfortable,
oui, with the English.
229
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,630
Oh, no, no.
You're doing just fine.
230
00:09:29,700 --> 00:09:31,630
We're not French.
Non. Just me.
231
00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:34,330
Uh, my husband
is a diplomat.
232
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,260
Oh! Really?
That's so interesting!
233
00:09:37,330 --> 00:09:40,160
Oui, oui. More interesting
than the ride on the burro.
234
00:09:40,230 --> 00:09:41,930
No?
235
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,300
LOUISE: I beg
your pardon?
236
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,030
Um, it is an idiom.
I do not know how to say.
237
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,630
(LOUISE CHUCKLING)
238
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,360
How did you two meet?
239
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:51,160
Ze peace talks.
The peace talks?
240
00:09:51,230 --> 00:09:53,030
Oui, oui,
ze peace talks.
241
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:56,930
I was selling crepes,
and my cart had a flat.
242
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:00,330
You know,
it is the same story
since time began.
243
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,130
Oh, I must say,
you two are just the most
fascinating people.
244
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,860
Yeah. You have no idea.
245
00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:10,730
What were you doing?
I don't know. It was fun.
246
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,500
That's fun?
Lying to nice people
is fun?
247
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:16,160
Every vacation,
Lisa and I
would have a contest.
248
00:10:16,230 --> 00:10:19,630
We'd go down to the boardwalk
and see who could be
the most people.
249
00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:21,130
Well, look
what happened to her.
250
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,330
Oh, all right.
251
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,660
Don't knock it
till you've tried it.
252
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,600
Hey!
Honey!
253
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:28,360
Honey,
are you all right?
Yes, thank you.
254
00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:29,930
Hi.
BOTH: Hi.
255
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000
Everything okay
out here?
256
00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:32,400
I'm fine, thanks.
What happened?
257
00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:35,100
He was just trying out
a new routine.
Routine?
258
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,530
We're circus people.
259
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,530
Really?
260
00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,700
Absolutely.
Isn't that
right, honey?
261
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,860
Yes. Uh, fifth-generation
circus people.
262
00:10:42,930 --> 00:10:45,460
Wow! I love the circus!
263
00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:47,630
So what do you do?
264
00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,000
Uh... Well, you see
what I did there?
Yeah.
265
00:10:50,060 --> 00:10:52,300
Picture that higher up
and in tights.
266
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,600
That's great!
So what do you do?
267
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,760
I, uh...
She's a contortionist.
268
00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:58,460
I'm a contortionist.
Yeah.
269
00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:00,660
You know what?
Show him the thing
you've been working on.
270
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,400
What thing?
271
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,730
The new thing
where you put both feet
behind your head and you spin.
272
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,200
Not without a net.
273
00:11:07,260 --> 00:11:09,360
Come on, come on,
let's do it, huh? Come on.
274
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,430
Hop up.
275
00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,100
I wouldn't say
I invented it,
276
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,530
but I said to Lipton,
277
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:18,630
"You got a cup.
You got noodles.
You do the math."
278
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,660
Actually, I should be
head rodeo clown,
279
00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:27,700
but it's just
a big boys' club.
280
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,060
Oh, yeah, I've been
on the Calypso
281
00:11:29,130 --> 00:11:31,660
about eight,
nine years now.
282
00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:33,960
Jacques is a
nice man. Nice man.
283
00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:37,730
You have to remember,
don't touch his hat.
284
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,230
Well, sure, it's
a little dangerous,
285
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:41,530
but, heck, they don't
dismantle themselves.
286
00:11:43,730 --> 00:11:44,200
(CALYPSO MUSICPLAYING ON STEREO)
287
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,460
I'm sorry.
That's why they call it
the Secret Service.
(CALYPSO MUSICPLAYING ON STEREO)
288
00:11:45,460 --> 00:11:47,330
I'm sorry.
That's why they call it
the Secret Service.
289
00:11:50,930 --> 00:11:53,660
Sweetie, come on.
This music's gonna
make me nuts.
290
00:11:53,730 --> 00:11:56,260
Tika-tika-tika-tika...
291
00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:57,830
Turn it off.
292
00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,230
If I could turn it off,
293
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,860
I wouldn't be sitting here
going "tika-tika-tika-tika."
294
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,160
All right,
one second.
295
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,560
Seriously. It's like
we're in hell
296
00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:06,800
and Don Ho
is the deejay.
297
00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:09,830
I'm ready.
What is that?
298
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:12,660
Oh, good. The Van Runks
want to have dinner
with us tonight.
299
00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:14,630
We can't do that.
So? They were nice.
300
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,100
No. They have, like...
301
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,330
He wants me to make him
a sport coat.
302
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,330
Will you just admit
you had fun?
303
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,900
It was fun
for one night.
304
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,860
Honey, honey, the Shapiros.
Where were we last night?
305
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:26,000
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Who were we?
306
00:12:26,060 --> 00:12:27,830
Who were we?
Wait, wait, wait!
307
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,060
Hey, Giuseppe!
Hey, buon giorno!
308
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,030
You know what,
I'm actually starting
to like this place.
309
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,300
Sure. All we do
is eat and lie.
What's not to like?
310
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,760
Hey, Vinnie.
311
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:41,930
How's this?
312
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,430
That's good.
You just want
to watch the hook.
313
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,000
What was that?
314
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,930
I told him I'm a
professional bowler.
315
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,430
Where did you
get that?
316
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,700
At ease.
317
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,060
What did we do
last night?
We were interesting.
318
00:12:58,130 --> 00:12:59,760
Let's never do
that again.
319
00:12:59,830 --> 00:13:01,230
I'll see you later.
Where are you going?
320
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,500
To get my shoes.
Sylvia has a golf lesson.
321
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,430
What about me?
Do you want to come?
322
00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,300
Nah. It's enough
that you asked.
323
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:09,600
I'm gonna
check out the lagoon,
take a nap, whatever.
324
00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:10,860
All right.
I'll see you at dinner.
325
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:12,460
All right, have fun.
Okay.
326
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:13,530
Hello.
327
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,100
Oh, hi!
328
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,700
I've been looking
for you.
329
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,860
I know, I know.
I'm sorry about
the cheese-tasting thing.
330
00:13:18,930 --> 00:13:20,060
It's just that
it was so hot.
331
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,560
That's not the problem.
There's a problem?
332
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,700
Oh, yes. I have been
having trouble
333
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,060
making
the seating arrangements
for tonight's dinner.
334
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,760
Uh-huh.
335
00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:31,800
It seems that the Reznicks
want to have dinner with
the astronaut and his wife,
336
00:13:31,860 --> 00:13:34,700
and the Duvalls
are dying to dine
with the cellists,
337
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,400
and the Nagles have
a million questions
338
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:38,760
for the couple
who discovered Velcro.
339
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:41,060
So?
340
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,600
So I have
checked it out,
341
00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:46,030
and it seems that
they're all staying
in your room.
342
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:47,660
Well, that hardly
seems possible.
343
00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:49,530
Exactly.
So we're all clear, then?
344
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,860
No.
All righty.
345
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,930
What is going on here?
Nothing.
346
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,530
Is this some sort
of a con game?
No.
347
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,560
Are you from
another hotel?
No!
348
00:13:57,630 --> 00:14:00,130
Because if you're not
Burt and Sylvia Buchman,
We are!
349
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,130
I'm going to be forced
to turn this matter
over to security...
350
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,460
All right,
all right, all right.
I will tell you the truth.
351
00:14:05,530 --> 00:14:05,660
Go on.
352
00:14:05,660 --> 00:14:06,630
Yes?
Burt.
Go on.
353
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:07,260
Yes?
Burt.
354
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:07,400
It's my husband.
Yes?
Burt.
355
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:07,460
It's my husband.
356
00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:08,560
Yes?
It's my husband.
357
00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:09,600
It's my husband.
358
00:14:10,130 --> 00:14:12,100
This is very hard
for me to talk about.
359
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:13,160
Try.
360
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,900
He's not well.
361
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,100
In what sense?
362
00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,930
In the sense that he's...
363
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,330
What?
Uh, well...
364
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,030
What?
Sort of...
365
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,300
What?
366
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,530
(WHISPERING)
Insane.
367
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:32,100
Insane?
Yeah, well, we don't
like to use that word.
368
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,460
I--I just... I...
369
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:34,960
I'm sorry.
I had no idea.
370
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:37,530
His doctors suggested
we get away
371
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:38,760
and it seemed
like a good idea.
372
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:40,060
I thought I could
control him
373
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,260
but I never should've
brought him back to the sea.
374
00:14:42,330 --> 00:14:44,630
He looks at the ocean,
and memories
start coming back,
375
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,600
and the voices...
It's...
376
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,800
Well, is--is
he dangerous?
377
00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:52,760
Not at all.
I have a golf lesson.
378
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,960
I'm so sorry.
Thank you.
379
00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:57,860
Is there anything
that we can do?
380
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:01,000
No, no, thank you.
Actually, we could use
some more towels.
381
00:15:03,830 --> 00:15:05,260
You ever had this juice?
What is it?
382
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,500
Guava.
Guava?
383
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,030
Guava.
384
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,230
I like papaya.
385
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,030
Guava. Guava.
386
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:14,130
Guava. The juice
that's as much fun to say
as it is to drink.
387
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,860
Guava.
388
00:15:15,930 --> 00:15:17,830
Mr. Frank,
could I speak to you
for a minute?
389
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:18,960
Sure.
Hi.
390
00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:20,000
Hi, Trish.
391
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,330
Splink, splink.
392
00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:28,060
Guava.
393
00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:29,330
Guava, guava.
394
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,200
Splink.
Splink, splink.
395
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:32,930
Guava, guava,
splink, splink.
396
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:37,460
See you.
397
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,400
Let that be a lesson
to the rest of you.
398
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,360
Hi.
Hi.
399
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:18,860
I'm thinking about
renting a boat.
400
00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:21,460
Ah! Do you like boats?
401
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:26,500
Love boats.
I like boats, too.
402
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,360
Yeah, right, well,
then you can be
my very best friend.
403
00:16:30,260 --> 00:16:32,700
Are you a sailor, sir?
404
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,500
Yeah, you can
call me Popeye.
405
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,300
Okay. And where are we
going today, skipper?
406
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,800
Who knows?
Maybe Canada.
407
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,600
Yeah, eat me some bacon,
drink me some beer.
408
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:50,230
Oh, I don't know.
Canada? It's pretty far away.
409
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:53,460
All right, then
I'll just paddle around
till the rope says no.
410
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:55,600
Very good, sir.
Oh, hey, look at that.
411
00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:58,160
Our boats seem to be
all rented out.
412
00:16:59,730 --> 00:17:01,900
All right, then
we'll just have to
attack by air.
413
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,500
(CHUCKLING
CONDESCENDINGLY)
414
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:10,300
(CALYPSO MUSICPLAYING ON STEREO)
415
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,930
(GRUNTING)
416
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,560
How do you expect me
to take a nap around here
417
00:17:14,630 --> 00:17:16,860
with this tika-tika-tika-tika?
418
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,930
There's the speaker!
419
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:22,560
(GRUNTS)
420
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,730
Can't stop the music.
Can't stop the music.
421
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:33,430
Here you go,
tika-tika-tika.
422
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,600
Here, tika-tika-
tika-tika-tika.
423
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:36,630
Come here.
424
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:48,330
May I help, sir?
Yeah, two, please.
425
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,300
Yes, of course.
426
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:55,730
Thank you.
427
00:18:03,360 --> 00:18:05,060
Is that all right?
428
00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:06,660
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
429
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,830
How you doin' today?
430
00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:12,730
Hello.
431
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,500
Can I borrow
that knife?
That knife?
432
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,260
Yeah.
Why?
433
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:21,200
I just wanna butter my roll.
Oh, I'll butter
your roll for you.
434
00:18:21,260 --> 00:18:23,530
No, you don't have to...
No, really, I do.
435
00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,500
Thank you.
436
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:29,760
Hey.
437
00:18:29,830 --> 00:18:31,430
Hi. Hey,
how was your lesson?
438
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:33,800
It was good.
How was your day?
Uh, good.
439
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:35,230
Did you talk
to anybody?
440
00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:36,660
Not really. Why?
441
00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,360
Okay, here's the thing.
Madam?
442
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:40,100
Monsieur.
443
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,560
Thank you.
444
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:44,400
When you get a chance,
can I get a knife, please?
445
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,060
What's going on?
446
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:51,730
Okay, you're gonna laugh.
Hi!
447
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,330
Oh, oh, Trish, I don't know
if you've done
tomorrow's schedule,
448
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,730
but I'd love to get in
on that parasailing.
449
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,400
We have a lovely
lanyard class.
450
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,760
I don't want to take
a lanyard class.
451
00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,400
My guests find it
very soothing.
452
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:05,400
Okay. Well, what about
the parasailing?
453
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:07,230
You can make a key ring.
I already have a key ring.
454
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,330
All right, all right,
just settle down.
Settle down.
455
00:19:13,060 --> 00:19:15,300
What's going on?
All right, all right. Um,
456
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:18,300
it's possible
that some people here
457
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,460
may think you're a little
458
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:21,500
crazy.
459
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,100
Why would they
think that?
460
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,700
Because I might've
told them that you were.
461
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,100
You might have?
462
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,530
I'm sorry. What's-her-name
heard us telling people stuff,
463
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,360
and I had to say something.
464
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:31,800
So that's what
you came up with?
That we're crazy?
465
00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:34,930
No, just you.
Boy, I'm hungry.
466
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,200
Are you ready
to order?
467
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,630
Uh...
Yeah, listen,
468
00:19:37,700 --> 00:19:40,160
I don't know
what you heard.
I'm not crazy.
469
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,500
I'll come back.
470
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,700
Uh, I'm-- I'm not crazy.
471
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,200
Of course not.
472
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,530
And I'm not a diplomat.
Of course not.
473
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:51,560
I'm a filmmaker.
474
00:19:51,630 --> 00:19:52,760
Really?
Yes.
475
00:19:52,830 --> 00:19:53,900
Are you
Alfred Hitchcock?
476
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
No, I'm not
Alfred Hitchcock.
477
00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,730
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Is there a situation?
478
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,500
Yes, there's a situation.
You told everybody
that I'm crazy?
479
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,100
I had a responsibility.
480
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,530
You want to know the truth?
Okay, here is the truth.
481
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,800
We came on vacation,
and we got a little
carried away.
482
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:16,130
We're not doctors.
We're not diplomats.
483
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,930
We're not astronauts.
We're not rodeo clowns.
484
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,230
I am not my father.
She is not my mother.
485
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,030
This whole trip
has been one big lie.
486
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,830
And I gotta tell you,
I'm getting a little tired
of being everybody else.
487
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:28,500
I am Paul Buchman,
488
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,900
I'm a documentary filmmaker
from New York,
489
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,030
and I can butter
my own roll.
490
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,860
This is my wife,
her name is Jamie,
491
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,100
she runs a PR firm
out of our living room,
492
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,860
and she has a French exam
in two weeks.
493
00:20:42,930 --> 00:20:45,500
All right?
Do you understand this?
We are who we are,
494
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,330
and from now on,
that's all we're gonna be.
495
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,700
Thank you.
Does everybody
understand?
496
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:53,860
Has everybody
got that?
497
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,130
PAUL: So I don't really need
your lanyard class.
498
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:03,660
Ooh, I like your lanyard.
499
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:04,930
Thank you.
500
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,760
(CALYPSO MUSICPLAYING ON STEREO)
501
00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,000
Come on, honey.
If you can't beat 'em,
join 'em. Come on.
502
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:27,760
Hey, dig me.
503
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:29,560
I'm Harry Belafonte.
33952
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