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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:15,700 What? I just really, really love you. 2 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,060 Well, I really, really, really love you. 3 00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,500 Why must everything be a competition with you? 4 00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,830 How long does it take to watch a 90-minute documentary? 5 00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:07,000 I would think about an hour and a half tops, right? I told ya. 6 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,830 It's okay. It's okay. You know why? 7 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:14,400 'Cause it's him, and if you're going to do a documentary on the history of television, 8 00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:17,300 who would you get? Would you get somebody like him? No, no, you get him. 9 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,600 I told ya. Think he'll do it? 10 00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:22,560 I mean, you worked with him in the old days. Is he gonna do it? 11 00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:25,600 Yes, he'll do it. He'll do it. He'll do it. He'll do it. 12 00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:29,160 I used to love this guy. He's such a lovable legend. You know, he's just... 13 00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:30,230 (PHONE RINGING) He's him. 14 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,130 MAN: I said pumpernickel. 15 00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:38,200 I told ya. 16 00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,530 That's what you're wearing? Yeah. 17 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,530 To your meeting? Yeah. 18 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,000 Oh, no, it's lovely. 19 00:01:55,960 --> 00:02:00,030 Anyway, Aunt Lolly and I just had a ball at the matinee today, didn't we? 20 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:06,000 Those dancers, were they skinny. 21 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:10,360 Remember how skinny I was when I used to dance? That wasn't you. 22 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,700 Mama, I hate to keep you. Shouldn't you be getting back? 23 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,000 You know, the Connecticut Turnpike? 24 00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:17,460 What about it? She wants you on it. 25 00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:22,530 Okay. Good luck tonight and, uh, don't forget to comb your hair. 26 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,330 Okay. Bye, bye, Aunt Lolly. 27 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,930 You know, that woman is driving me nuts. I know. 28 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,660 When she picked me up this morning, I was a brunette. 29 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,530 I got him. JAMIE: Who? 30 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,830 Him. JAMIE: You got Alan Brady? 31 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,500 I got Alan Brady. Oh, congratulations. 32 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,860 Isn't that something? So, what did he say? 33 00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:44,630 He said, "I'll do it." No, tell me his exact words. 34 00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,560 All right. "I'll do it." God. 35 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,560 I'm telling ya. So, what is he like? 36 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,160 He's-- He's like him but in color. 37 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,430 Really? 38 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,300 Yeah, well, we only had 10 seconds together, 39 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,700 but guess who he's taking out to dinner tonight? You and me. 40 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,300 I can't. 41 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,430 (DOORBELL BUZZING) What do you mean you can't? 42 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:02,500 I have a meeting. What meeting? 43 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,660 See? I do too listen. 44 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,930 Hi. Hi. 45 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,260 Oh, the meeting. Yes, you have the meeting, the meeting. 46 00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,660 I know, with the guy from uptown. 47 00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:15,600 No, you're meeting him uptown. This is the guy from-- from Vermont. Not originally. 48 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,760 This is the guy... He's driving through Vermont from Canada. 49 00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,600 This is so sad. 50 00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:21,960 Well, she gave me the worst clues here. 51 00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:24,230 Oh, I will have you know that I was a charades champion 52 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,030 at camp Wankahana three years running. 53 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,260 Good. Listen, you got to come with me on this. 54 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,660 I'm sorry. Okay, what's this? 55 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,660 This is important. Well, so is this. 56 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,860 Geese, see? Yeah. 57 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:38,430 What's this? You can go without me. 58 00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,360 The Sting. Okay. 59 00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,760 He specifically said, "Bring the wife." 60 00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,230 "The wife?" My wife. 61 00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,400 You said, "The wife." 62 00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:49,100 The my-wife, the my-wife. I'm begging you. 63 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,660 "Bridge Over Trouble Water." Yes. 64 00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,400 JAMIE: Fine. I will be there as soon as I can. Thank you. 65 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,260 08:00, Antonios. The reservation is under his name. 66 00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,360 I might be a little late. All right. But not like too late. 67 00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:01,100 Okay. All right. Thank you. 68 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,400 You gonna wear that? Paul? 69 00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:08,800 What? Two words. First word. Sounds like duck. 70 00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,260 Second word, yeah? Off. 71 00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:19,230 He asked that you wait at his table. 72 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,530 His table? Yes. 73 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,160 This is his own table? Wow. Uh-huh. 74 00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:28,800 Dig me. I'm at Alan Brady's table. 75 00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:31,300 I have my own table. This is my table. Do you like my table? 76 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,060 It's my table. It's mahogany. 77 00:04:36,630 --> 00:04:40,760 What, what is this? Mr. Brady, how are you, sir? 78 00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,200 What are you doing? What? 79 00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,560 What are you doing? I was just sitting. 80 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,030 Where? Right here. 81 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,200 Where? At your table. 82 00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:48,830 Where at my table? Right here. 83 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,330 Where? In the chair. 84 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,630 What chair? This chair. 85 00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:52,730 Whose chair? Your chair. 86 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,700 A-ha. 87 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,830 Sit over there. I was sitting in your chair. 88 00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,200 I'm so sorry. I would think so. 89 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:03,230 And oh, my, my wife may be a little bit late. 90 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,130 Who? My wife. 91 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,360 Late for what? For dinner. 92 00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:09,400 You're bringing your wife? Well, you told me, "Bring your wife." 93 00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,660 Well, sure, bring your wife. Why don't you bring your mother? 94 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:13,200 Got any kids? No. 95 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:16,060 Oh, what a shame. I was hoping to feed a whole family. 96 00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,300 Maurice, free eats for everybody. 97 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,860 Really? Shut up. Get out of here. 98 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,330 You got a cigar? Cigar? No. 99 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,330 Give me a dollar. 100 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,400 It's a joke. It's a joke. 101 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,530 Where you going to get a cigar for a dollar now? 102 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,530 They don't know jokes. They don't know jokes. 103 00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:39,630 Hi. Sorry I'm late. Hey. Get out of here. 104 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,700 What? Get out of here. 105 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,060 I must have made a mistake or something. Well, no, no, no, no. 106 00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:46,800 I already told him you're here. Okay. Just sit down. 107 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,060 Not there, not there. What is the matter with you? 108 00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,500 Him--Him's the matter with me. 109 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,700 Who? Who, Brady. 110 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,130 What about him? He's so mean. 111 00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:59,730 Mr. Brady, let me introduce... This is my wife. Mr. Brady. 112 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,830 Call me Alan. I'm Jamie. 113 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,160 What are you doing sitting there? He told me to. 114 00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,430 There's a draft there. Take my chair. 115 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,430 Thank you. 116 00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,930 Tell me, have we ever met anywhere before? No. I'm sure I would remember. 117 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,100 Oh, yes, yes, you would. Well, anyway, what the heck. We're here now. 118 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,300 Where's my napkin? 119 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,300 I edited his show 12 years. Do you know what he gave me for Christmas? 120 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,100 What? A pineapple. 121 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,400 What, you mean like a fruit basket? I mean a pineapple. 122 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,530 All right. All right. Why am I unhappy? 123 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,660 What do you mean, you're not happy? 124 00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,260 Sam, you worked with me how many years? 125 00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,100 Sid. Exactly. 126 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,400 Tell him, am I happy? He's a miserable son-of-a-bitch. 127 00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:59,400 Hey, hey, hey, hey. No, no, no, no. Listen to him. He knows. 128 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,900 And why am I unhappy? I'll tell you why I'm unhappy. 129 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,730 I watched your film again last night. 130 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,100 I watched it with my wife and a watch. 131 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,930 You know what I found out? I'll tell you what I found out. 132 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,500 I'm in this for six minutes. 133 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,630 360 lousy seconds in the whole history of television, 134 00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,960 is that what you think I am? 135 00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:23,130 You talk now. Okay. 136 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,130 It's-- it's not that at all. It's just that, you know, it's only a 90-minute film, 137 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,530 and there's so much great footage out there. So, what I was trying to do is, 138 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,830 you talk again now? 139 00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,260 Where's the bowling pin sketch? Where's the piano player with the itch sketch? 140 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,200 Where's my singing with Fabian? 141 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:40,960 Look, kid, you want me to narrate this thing or don't you? 142 00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:43,960 Yes, yes. I am ecstatic. I am ecstatic that you're doing it. 143 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,530 HBO is ecstatic. Sid is ecstatic. Look at Sid. 144 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,160 All right. But look, I got to tell you, I worked a long time on this. 145 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:55,500 I really think that the way it is, it's just... It's perfect. 146 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,160 It stinks. Let me finish. 147 00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,700 Certain--Certain places still need a little work. It stinks. 148 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,260 None of it is good. That's all I'm saying. 149 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,900 Always good to see you, Sam. Say hello to Gladys. 150 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,760 It's Sid. Say hello to Sid. 151 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:11,030 Call me, kid, when you fix it. 152 00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,760 He's just so mean. 153 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,260 Well, isn't this exotic? I've always wanted to eat uncooked food. 154 00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:25,860 Mom, we can go someplace else. 155 00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:29,300 No. As long as I am with my two girls, I'm happy. 156 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,600 Well, any luck on the job market? No. 157 00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:36,660 You know what you haven't tried yet, Beanie? Fish throwing. 158 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,360 Excuse me? 159 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:42,360 You know, when they want to get a cod from the boat to the dock. 160 00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:44,230 Ma, I don't want to throw fish. 161 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:47,600 Well, what do you want to do? I don't know. 162 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,600 Jamie, have you and Paul thought any more about having children? 163 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,160 Oh, that's such good news. What is? 164 00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:56,530 You tell me. No, no, not yet. We're... 165 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,100 Well, when? I don't know. 166 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,760 Lisa, going out with anybody lately? 167 00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:05,030 Answer my prayers. No, no, no. 168 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,960 I've been to busy talking to Jamie 169 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,460 about how nice it would be for them to move to Connecticut. 170 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,030 You know, I've always said... 171 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,360 I can't leave New York with Lisa thinking of joining a cult. 172 00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:17,000 Again? 173 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,760 No, Mom, I won't, I mean I wouldn't... 174 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:25,500 You know, Jamie, she... Fish throwing, huh? 175 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:32,200 Ah, well, that's it. We don't have Brady, we have no deal. 176 00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,700 There's got to be somebody else. Who do you know? 177 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,130 Do you know George Gobel? Dead. 178 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,860 What about, what's his name, Charley Weaver? Dead. 179 00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,630 Tina Louise? 180 00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,030 I can't call her. 181 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,230 Look at him, he's so great. 182 00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,300 He's just... Who am I kidding? It's got to be him. It's got to be him. 183 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,960 (CHATTERING ON TV) 184 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:03,660 Wait a second. Wait a second. Hold on. Go, go, go back. Go back. 185 00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:04,830 (REWINDING) 186 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,630 Right there. 187 00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:09,360 You're wrong. You're absolutely wrong. 188 00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:13,030 Harry, if you don't stop flirting, I'm going home to mother. No, 189 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,530 I'm going to have Mother move in with us. How do you like that? 190 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,430 I do not flirt. Well, hello there. 191 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,030 It's all in your head. Harry, I'm at the end of my rope. 192 00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,760 I don't know what you're talking about. For you. 193 00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:27,860 You're imagining these things, I tell you. 194 00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:30,460 Why are we watching this? You'll see. Just a second. 195 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,460 Please, I spent the whole day with my mother. 196 00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:34,700 She kept talking and talking, and she didn't say anything. 197 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,900 The whole time this little noise in my head went eeek, eeek, 198 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,960 the whole time all day, eeek, eeek, eeek. 199 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,000 Just hang one second. 200 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,560 Madeline, you've got to forgive me, please. I beg you. 201 00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,630 I love you. I worship you. 202 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:53,230 It's you and only you for the rest of my life. 203 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,460 Oh, Harry. 204 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,060 It's cold out here. You shouldn't be out like that. 205 00:10:58,130 --> 00:11:00,130 Oh, thank you. 206 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,900 Oh, my God, that's my mom. I told you. 207 00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,900 Yes. Hi. Is Tennessee Ernie Ford there, please. 208 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:22,230 Oh, I am sorry. Well, my condolences. 209 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:26,160 Thank you. I don't believe this. Everybody is either dead or Alan Brady. 210 00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,930 Okay, see? Right there. 211 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,460 Wow, are you sure that's Mom? No. It's me. I was very big in the '50s. 212 00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:35,900 Well, how come she never told us? Because she's Mom. 213 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,200 She doesn't talk about stuff. She just talks. 214 00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,460 See, if I put his bowling pin sketch in here, 215 00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:43,300 then that puts Bonanza next to What's My Line, 216 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,830 which moves Loretta Young right in the middle of the Watergate hearings. 217 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,060 There's got to be somebody else. 218 00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,660 Look, right there, Pretty girl No. 3, Terry Cooper. 219 00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:53,530 Oh. Cool. 220 00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,530 Cool? 221 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,730 Don't you see? This explains why I'm so screwed up. I'm a showbiz kid. 222 00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:06,600 Sid, hi, Paul. Okay, Mr. Green Jeans? Ah, okay. 223 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,760 Where are you going? To tell my shrink we're gonna have to start all over. 224 00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,160 This is so cool. 225 00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,000 Do you believe this? 226 00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,700 We find out our mother had a whole life, and all she thinks of is herself. 227 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,730 Yeah, unbelievable. Hey, who played Little Ricky? 228 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,900 (DOORBELL BUZZES) 229 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,930 Who did you ignore before you met me? 230 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,530 Mom, hi. Hi, gang. 231 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,160 Well, hello. 232 00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:32,300 I was just in the city. So, I thought I'd bring you some food. 233 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,300 Why were you in the city? To bring you some food. 234 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,700 So, what's new? 235 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,900 Nothing. Paul is just working on his documentary 236 00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:43,800 on the history of television 237 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,400 with Alan Brady. 238 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:49,200 Oh, did I ever tell you I was on his show? 239 00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:53,860 No. Really? Well, I was. 240 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:56,230 How old are these olives? I don't remember. 241 00:12:56,300 --> 00:13:00,760 You know the rule. I can't believe you never told me this. 242 00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:03,900 I thought I did. Was he like a big meany back then, too? 243 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,730 He was him. How many times were you on? 244 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,800 Oh, five if you count the gorilla sketch. 245 00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,760 So, so how would you handle him? 246 00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,160 The gorilla sketch? 247 00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:17,530 This carrot is so bendy. What else did you do? 248 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,360 Oh, this and that. 249 00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,830 Okay. So I know he was really nice to Patti Page. 250 00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,500 So, how could I be more like Patti Page? 251 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,000 I'm rearranging your eggs. This and what? 252 00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,660 I mean like, if I stood up to him, would that be a real, real bad idea? 253 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,430 Will you excuse me, please? I'm trying to have a conversation with my mother. 254 00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,300 So am I. Well, I got here first. 255 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,230 Well, just talk about Alan Brady, please. 256 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,160 Mom, talk to me, okay? Sure. 257 00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,760 Smell this milk. Okay. My turn. 258 00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:45,730 So, so how did you-- how did you-- how did you handle him? 259 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,160 Oh, beats me. 260 00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:51,630 You were an actress? No. I was pretty. I had a lot of pep. 261 00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,600 So they put me in a couple of sketches. 262 00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:56,200 So, so you had, like, a whole life that we don't know anything about. 263 00:13:56,260 --> 00:14:00,430 See how I gave that one for you. No, no. It's no big deal. 264 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,030 I was young. I needed a job, and I had a connection. 265 00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,700 To Alan Brady? Uh-huh. 266 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,700 What connection? He used to date your Aunt Lolly. 267 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,930 Hey, barkie, another saki. 268 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,960 See, if I knew how to handle this guy... Did you ever tickle his ear? 269 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:21,000 I can't say that I have. Well, it works. 270 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,300 So you knew him really well? Oh, I knew them all in those days. 271 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,000 All those funny boys used to come up and do the Catskills. 272 00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:30,730 Aunt Lolly played the harp in Grosssinger's Lobby. 273 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:37,100 Get out of here. Oh, that Alan, was he cute and young. 274 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,000 I liked them young. Wow. 275 00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:43,600 Wow nothing. He was just like his act, 276 00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:46,360 six minutes of great material and no finish. 277 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,730 That's just a little bit more than I needed to know. 278 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,860 So, so what was he like? He was a man. 279 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,560 In other words, what? 280 00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:09,430 Well, we were a regular item, then he'd get the itch and start bird-dogging around. 281 00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,300 So--So now what, what did you do? 282 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,200 I gave what I got. 283 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,930 I'd samba with Sid Caesar 284 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,500 and go kayaking with Fat Jack Leonard, 285 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,430 and the next thing you know, he'd be crazy jealous 286 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,230 and come scratching at my door like Churchill's Pekingese. 287 00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:32,660 This is good to know. 288 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,230 Did you, did you ever go out with Milton Berle? 289 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,030 It's true. 290 00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,600 I don't know about this. 291 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,230 You want to change your film? No. 292 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,900 Do you want him to narrate? Yes. 293 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,330 Do you want to tickle his ear? All right. 294 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,030 (INTERCOM BUZZING) 295 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,530 Sid? He's in the elevator. 296 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,400 Did he see you? I'm wearing a hat. 297 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,930 All right. Well, here we go. 298 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,200 Bread him like a cutlet. 299 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,230 (DOORBELL BUZZING) 300 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,860 Okay. I'm here. Show me the changes. You, I like. 301 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,460 Honey, look. Oh, you shouldn't have. 302 00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,460 Why not? No, that's just--just an expression. 303 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:28,200 So is "May I take your coat?" 304 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,400 Sorry, of course. 305 00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:35,900 And Mr. Brady, may I say what an honor it is to have you in our home. 306 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,960 Lucky for you she asked me. (CHUCKLES) So, umm, dinner first or business? 307 00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:43,360 Well, you know what, I thought we would get business out of the way 308 00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:44,530 and then we could enjoy the evening. 309 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,060 Okay. Okay. 310 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,330 I'm not gonna change my film. 311 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,530 You ready to eat? I'll see. 312 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:55,600 Paul, Paul, Paul, do you, do you have a piece of paper? 313 00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:57,830 Sure. Thank you. 314 00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,960 "Have hearing checked." 315 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:05,960 Funniest thing, I thought I heard you say you're not going to change your film. 316 00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:08,800 Yeah, well, that's true. That's what I said. 317 00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:12,430 Look, Mr. Brady, I know that you're accustomed to getting things your way. 318 00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,660 But this is my show, and we have a verbal agreement, 319 00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,800 and I expect you to live up to your end of the bargain. 320 00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:20,230 I'm sorry that it comes down to this, but that is it, that is my final decision. 321 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,400 Oh, that was just adorable. Get my coat. 322 00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,260 Certainly. Hope everybody's hungry. 323 00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,630 Where are you going? Ah, Mr. Brady has to leave. 324 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,030 This is what I get for stepping off the mountain. 325 00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:38,930 You I still like. Mr. Brady, Alan, please don't go. 326 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,600 Honey, honey, we can't, we can't work it out. Of course, we can work it out. 327 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:45,230 There will be other movies. Not with Mr. Brady. 328 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,530 Will you two get away from me! 329 00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:53,530 Mr. Brady, please. Sweetie, it's over. 330 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,060 Really? Oh, it's over. 331 00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:58,860 Yeah, so why, why don't we just eat and move on. Okay? 332 00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:02,160 Mr. Brady, again, thank you and good evening. It was nice meeting you, kid. 333 00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:05,860 Give my regards to oblivion. 334 00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:09,160 Oh, this lasagna smells good. What did you put in this? 335 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,660 Oh, noodles and tomato sauce, 336 00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,860 (BLUBBERING) cheese. Oh, Paul. 337 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,200 It's okay, sweetie. I'm-- I'm sure everything, something will work out. 338 00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:27,130 I know. It's just we were counting on this so much. 339 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,200 Listen, Paul, I've got to talk to you. 340 00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:31,530 Oh, sorry. Yeah, this is not a great time. 341 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,160 Just come here. 342 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,700 Sorry folks, it will only take a second. Excuse me. 343 00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,900 Sorry I'm making it tough on you. Yeah, well. 344 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,000 Okay, okay, keep the pineapple. 345 00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,900 Sweetie, may I see you in the kitchen, please? 346 00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,300 All right. 347 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,230 Well, who's hungry? Load me up, baby. 348 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:05,660 Mr. Brady, you're absolutely right. I know I am. About what? 349 00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,600 If you don't feel comfortable with the film, if you are not happy with the film, 350 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,600 then I see no reason that you should do it. 351 00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,600 I see no reason either. It wouldn't be right. 352 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,130 It wouldn't be right at all. 353 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,730 All right, all right. What's going on here? Nothing. 354 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,900 Oh, mushrooms in here. Come on. Come on. Come on. 355 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,460 Well, it's just that everything has worked out. 356 00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:21,960 We found somebody else to take your place. 357 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,760 So, there is nothing for you to worry about. 358 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,430 Oh, fine, fine. 359 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,700 Who'd you get? Not that it matters. 360 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,900 Oh, nobody. Sid Caesar. 361 00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:36,330 I've heard of him. 362 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,030 Cheese, sweetie? 363 00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:41,960 Caesar is a genius. Brilliant physical comedian, 364 00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:45,400 which, by the way, is very important for a narrator. 365 00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,960 He does all those wonderful double takes 366 00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:55,200 that nobody will see, but it will be nice that they're there, and he does pantomime. 367 00:19:55,260 --> 00:20:00,500 Oh, that will come in handy. This is just delicious, sweetie. 368 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:10,030 You know what, kid, I can see you're in kind of a jam. 369 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,660 I am, huh? Yeah. Tell you what I'm gonna do. 370 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,600 I like you, and you're growing on me. Why don't I bail you out? 371 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:19,230 Really? What the heck. 372 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,200 (STUTTERING) Well, I don't know. 373 00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,260 You don't know? No. 374 00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,760 He's going to kill this yet. 375 00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:27,930 Yeah, well, it's just that you seem very uncomfortable with the film the way it is. 376 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,800 It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Just made a few suggestions. 377 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:34,900 That's the kind of a person I am. Whatever you want. Let's do it your way. 378 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,000 All right. Well, then, you got a deal. 379 00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:40,260 And I'll tell you what. I'll call Sid Caesar. I will let him down easy. 380 00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,360 I don't know why you made such a big fuss about this. 381 00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:45,900 Well, now that this is settled, let's sit down and eat. 382 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,700 Okay. Mr. Brady? Yes. 383 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,760 You're sitting in my chair. 384 00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:55,760 And? And I'm thrilled. 385 00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:59,560 So, you trip over the ottoman. 386 00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:02,460 You see, you're looking over there, not looking here, you trip over it 387 00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,000 and she helps you up. 388 00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,360 I don't know. Honey, he's our guest. 389 00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,730 If he wants you to fall, you should fall. 390 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,500 I don't know that an ottoman is funny, what if, and I'm just pitching, 391 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,460 if I trip over, like, a hat. See, that's never been done. 392 00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:16,760 You know why it's never been done? Why? 393 00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,860 It's stupid. 394 00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:21,800 All right, but, now, again, it's just an idea, instead of tripping, 395 00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:24,260 I'm walking, right, so, I come in, I'm walking 396 00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:27,000 on the ottoman, and then I keep walking. 397 00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:29,830 I'm really sorry about Paul. 398 00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,500 Would that be funny? No, my mother can do that. 399 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,830 All right. Now, this is, okay, 'cause you're expecting falling, right? 400 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:39,730 So, I'm walking and all of a sudden, I sit. 401 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,030 Sitting has never been funny. Never. Sitting. 402 00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:45,160 Whistler's Mother is sitting, who laughs? 403 00:21:45,230 --> 00:21:46,800 All right, let me just bounce this off of you. 31180

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