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1
00:00:10,630 --> 00:00:15,700
What?
I just really,
really love you.
2
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,060
Well, I really, really,
really love you.
3
00:00:20,300 --> 00:00:22,500
Why must everything be
a competition with you?
4
00:01:00,130 --> 00:01:02,830
How long does it take
to watch a 90-minute
documentary?
5
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:07,000
I would think about an hour
and a half tops, right?
I told ya.
6
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,830
It's okay. It's okay.
You know why?
7
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:14,400
'Cause it's him, and if you're
going to do a documentary
on the history of television,
8
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:17,300
who would you get?
Would you get somebody
like him? No, no, you get him.
9
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,600
I told ya.
Think he'll do it?
10
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:22,560
I mean, you worked
with him in the old days.
Is he gonna do it?
11
00:01:22,630 --> 00:01:25,600
Yes, he'll do it.
He'll do it. He'll do it.
He'll do it.
12
00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:29,160
I used to love this guy.
He's such a lovable legend.
You know, he's just...
13
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:30,230
(PHONE RINGING)
He's him.
14
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,130
MAN: I said pumpernickel.
15
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:38,200
I told ya.
16
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:47,530
That's what
you're wearing?
Yeah.
17
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,530
To your meeting?
Yeah.
18
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,000
Oh, no, it's lovely.
19
00:01:55,960 --> 00:02:00,030
Anyway, Aunt Lolly and I
just had a ball at the matinee
today, didn't we?
20
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:06,000
Those dancers,
were they skinny.
21
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:10,360
Remember how skinny I was
when I used to dance?
That wasn't you.
22
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,700
Mama, I hate to keep you.
Shouldn't you
be getting back?
23
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,000
You know,
the Connecticut Turnpike?
24
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:17,460
What about it?
She wants you on it.
25
00:02:17,530 --> 00:02:22,530
Okay. Good luck tonight
and, uh, don't forget
to comb your hair.
26
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,330
Okay.
Bye, bye, Aunt Lolly.
27
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,930
You know, that woman
is driving me nuts.
I know.
28
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,660
When she picked me up
this morning,
I was a brunette.
29
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,530
I got him.
JAMIE: Who?
30
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,830
Him.
JAMIE: You got Alan Brady?
31
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,500
I got Alan Brady.
Oh, congratulations.
32
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,860
Isn't that something?
So, what did he say?
33
00:02:41,930 --> 00:02:44,630
He said, "I'll do it."
No, tell me his exact words.
34
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,560
All right. "I'll do it."
God.
35
00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:49,560
I'm telling ya.
So, what is he like?
36
00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:52,160
He's-- He's like him
but in color.
37
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,430
Really?
38
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,300
Yeah, well, we only had
10 seconds together,
39
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,700
but guess who he's
taking out to dinner tonight?
You and me.
40
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,300
I can't.
41
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,430
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
What do you mean
you can't?
42
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:02,500
I have a meeting.
What meeting?
43
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,660
See?
I do too listen.
44
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,930
Hi.
Hi.
45
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,260
Oh, the meeting.
Yes, you have the meeting,
the meeting.
46
00:03:08,330 --> 00:03:10,660
I know,
with the guy
from uptown.
47
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:15,600
No, you're meeting him uptown.
This is the guy from--
from Vermont. Not originally.
48
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:18,760
This is the guy...
He's driving through Vermont
from Canada.
49
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,600
This is so sad.
50
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:21,960
Well, she gave me
the worst clues here.
51
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:24,230
Oh, I will have you know
that I was a charades champion
52
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,030
at camp Wankahana
three years running.
53
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:28,260
Good. Listen,
you got to come with me
on this.
54
00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:29,660
I'm sorry.
Okay, what's this?
55
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,660
This is important.
Well, so is this.
56
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,860
Geese, see?
Yeah.
57
00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:38,430
What's this?
You can go without me.
58
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:40,360
The Sting.
Okay.
59
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,760
He specifically said,
"Bring the wife."
60
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,230
"The wife?"
My wife.
61
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:45,400
You said, "The wife."
62
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:49,100
The my-wife, the my-wife.
I'm begging you.
63
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,660
"Bridge Over Trouble Water."
Yes.
64
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:54,400
JAMIE: Fine. I will be there
as soon as I can.
Thank you.
65
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:57,260
08:00, Antonios.
The reservation is
under his name.
66
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,360
I might be a little late.
All right.
But not like too late.
67
00:03:59,430 --> 00:04:01,100
Okay.
All right. Thank you.
68
00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,400
You gonna wear that?
Paul?
69
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:08,800
What? Two words. First word.
Sounds like duck.
70
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,260
Second word, yeah? Off.
71
00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:19,230
He asked that you
wait at his table.
72
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,530
His table?
Yes.
73
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,160
This is his own table? Wow.
Uh-huh.
74
00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:28,800
Dig me.
I'm at Alan Brady's table.
75
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:31,300
I have my own table.
This is my table.
Do you like my table?
76
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:35,060
It's my table.
It's mahogany.
77
00:04:36,630 --> 00:04:40,760
What, what is this?
Mr. Brady,
how are you, sir?
78
00:04:40,830 --> 00:04:42,200
What are you doing?
What?
79
00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:44,560
What are you doing?
I was just sitting.
80
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,030
Where?
Right here.
81
00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:47,200
Where?
At your table.
82
00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:48,830
Where at my table?
Right here.
83
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:50,330
Where?
In the chair.
84
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,630
What chair?
This chair.
85
00:04:51,700 --> 00:04:52,730
Whose chair?
Your chair.
86
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,700
A-ha.
87
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,830
Sit over there.
I was sitting in your chair.
88
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,200
I'm so sorry.
I would think so.
89
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:03,230
And oh, my, my wife may be
a little bit late.
90
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,130
Who?
My wife.
91
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,360
Late for what?
For dinner.
92
00:05:07,430 --> 00:05:09,400
You're bringing your wife?
Well, you told me,
"Bring your wife."
93
00:05:09,460 --> 00:05:11,660
Well, sure, bring your wife.
Why don't you bring
your mother?
94
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:13,200
Got any kids?
No.
95
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:16,060
Oh, what a shame.
I was hoping to feed
a whole family.
96
00:05:16,130 --> 00:05:18,300
Maurice, free eats
for everybody.
97
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,860
Really?
Shut up. Get out of here.
98
00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,330
You got a cigar?
Cigar? No.
99
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:26,330
Give me a dollar.
100
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,400
It's a joke.
It's a joke.
101
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,530
Where you going to get
a cigar for a dollar now?
102
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,530
They don't know jokes.
They don't know jokes.
103
00:05:37,530 --> 00:05:39,630
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Hey. Get out of here.
104
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,700
What?
Get out of here.
105
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,060
I must have
made a mistake or something.
Well, no, no, no, no.
106
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:46,800
I already told him
you're here. Okay.
Just sit down.
107
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,060
Not there, not there.
What is the matter with you?
108
00:05:49,130 --> 00:05:50,500
Him--Him's the matter
with me.
109
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,700
Who?
Who, Brady.
110
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,130
What about him?
He's so mean.
111
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:59,730
Mr. Brady, let me introduce...
This is my wife.
Mr. Brady.
112
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,830
Call me Alan.
I'm Jamie.
113
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,160
What are you doing
sitting there?
He told me to.
114
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,430
There's a draft there.
Take my chair.
115
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,430
Thank you.
116
00:06:14,530 --> 00:06:17,930
Tell me, have we ever met
anywhere before?
No. I'm sure I would remember.
117
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:23,100
Oh, yes, yes, you would.
Well, anyway, what the heck.
We're here now.
118
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,300
Where's my napkin?
119
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,300
I edited his show
12 years. Do you know what
he gave me for Christmas?
120
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,100
What?
A pineapple.
121
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:43,400
What, you mean
like a fruit basket?
I mean a pineapple.
122
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,530
All right.
All right.
Why am I unhappy?
123
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:48,660
What do you mean,
you're not happy?
124
00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,260
Sam, you worked with me
how many years?
125
00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,100
Sid.
Exactly.
126
00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,400
Tell him, am I happy?
He's a miserable
son-of-a-bitch.
127
00:06:55,460 --> 00:06:59,400
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
No, no, no, no.
Listen to him. He knows.
128
00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:02,900
And why am I unhappy?
I'll tell you
why I'm unhappy.
129
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,730
I watched your film again
last night.
130
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,100
I watched it with my wife
and a watch.
131
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,930
You know what I found out?
I'll tell you what
I found out.
132
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,500
I'm in this for six minutes.
133
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,630
360 lousy seconds
in the whole
history of television,
134
00:07:17,700 --> 00:07:19,960
is that what you think I am?
135
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:23,130
You talk now.
Okay.
136
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,130
It's-- it's not that at all.
It's just that, you know,
it's only a 90-minute film,
137
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:30,530
and there's so much great
footage out there. So, what
I was trying to do is,
138
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,830
you talk again now?
139
00:07:32,900 --> 00:07:36,260
Where's the bowling pin
sketch? Where's the piano
player with the itch sketch?
140
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,200
Where's my singing
with Fabian?
141
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:40,960
Look, kid, you want me
to narrate this thing
or don't you?
142
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:43,960
Yes, yes. I am ecstatic.
I am ecstatic
that you're doing it.
143
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,530
HBO is ecstatic.
Sid is ecstatic.
Look at Sid.
144
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,160
All right. But look,
I got to tell you,
I worked a long time on this.
145
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:55,500
I really think that
the way it is, it's just...
It's perfect.
146
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,160
It stinks.
Let me finish.
147
00:07:57,230 --> 00:08:00,700
Certain--Certain places still
need a little work.
It stinks.
148
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,260
None of it is good.
That's all I'm saying.
149
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,900
Always good to see you, Sam.
Say hello to Gladys.
150
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,760
It's Sid.
Say hello to Sid.
151
00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:11,030
Call me, kid,
when you fix it.
152
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:13,760
He's just so mean.
153
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,260
Well, isn't this exotic?
I've always wanted to eat
uncooked food.
154
00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:25,860
Mom, we can go
someplace else.
155
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:29,300
No. As long as I am
with my two girls,
I'm happy.
156
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,600
Well, any luck
on the job market?
No.
157
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:36,660
You know what you haven't
tried yet, Beanie?
Fish throwing.
158
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,360
Excuse me?
159
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:42,360
You know, when they want
to get a cod from the boat
to the dock.
160
00:08:42,430 --> 00:08:44,230
Ma, I don't want
to throw fish.
161
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:47,600
Well, what do you
want to do?
I don't know.
162
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,600
Jamie, have you and Paul
thought any more
about having children?
163
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,160
Oh, that's such good news.
What is?
164
00:08:54,230 --> 00:08:56,530
You tell me.
No, no, not yet.
We're...
165
00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,100
Well, when?
I don't know.
166
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,760
Lisa, going out
with anybody lately?
167
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:05,030
Answer my prayers.
No, no, no.
168
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,960
I've been to busy
talking to Jamie
169
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:09,460
about how nice it would be
for them to move
to Connecticut.
170
00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,030
You know,
I've always said...
171
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,360
I can't leave New York
with Lisa thinking
of joining a cult.
172
00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:17,000
Again?
173
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,760
No, Mom, I won't,
I mean I wouldn't...
174
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:25,500
You know, Jamie, she...
Fish throwing, huh?
175
00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:32,200
Ah, well, that's it.
We don't have Brady,
we have no deal.
176
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,700
There's got to
be somebody else.
Who do you know?
177
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:38,130
Do you know George Gobel?
Dead.
178
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,860
What about, what's his name,
Charley Weaver?
Dead.
179
00:09:40,930 --> 00:09:42,630
Tina Louise?
180
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:45,030
I can't call her.
181
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,230
Look at him, he's so great.
182
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:59,300
He's just... Who am I kidding?
It's got to be him.
It's got to be him.
183
00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:00,960
(CHATTERING ON TV)
184
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:03,660
Wait a second. Wait a second.
Hold on. Go, go, go back.
Go back.
185
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:04,830
(REWINDING)
186
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,630
Right there.
187
00:10:06,700 --> 00:10:09,360
You're wrong.You're absolutely wrong.
188
00:10:09,430 --> 00:10:13,030
Harry, if you don'tstop flirting, I'm goinghome to mother. No,
189
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,530
I'm going to have Mothermove in with us.How do you like that?
190
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,430
I do not flirt.Well, hello there.
191
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,030
It's all in your head.Harry, I'm atthe end of my rope.
192
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,760
I don't know whatyou're talking about.For you.
193
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:27,860
You're imagining these things,I tell you.
194
00:10:27,930 --> 00:10:30,460
Why are we watching this?
You'll see. Just a second.
195
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,460
Please, I spent the whole day
with my mother.
196
00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:34,700
She kept talking and talking,
and she didn't say anything.
197
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,900
The whole time this little
noise in my head went eeek,
eeek,
198
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,960
the whole time all day,
eeek, eeek, eeek.
199
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,000
Just hang one second.
200
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,560
Madeline, you've gotto forgive me, please.I beg you.
201
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,630
I love you. I worship you.
202
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:53,230
It's you and only youfor the rest of my life.
203
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,460
Oh, Harry.
204
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,060
It's cold out here.You shouldn't be outlike that.
205
00:10:58,130 --> 00:11:00,130
Oh, thank you.
206
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,900
Oh, my God, that's my mom.
I told you.
207
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,900
Yes. Hi. Is Tennessee Ernie
Ford there, please.
208
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:22,230
Oh, I am sorry.
Well, my condolences.
209
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:26,160
Thank you. I don't believe
this. Everybody is either dead
or Alan Brady.
210
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:28,930
Okay, see? Right there.
211
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,460
Wow, are you sure that's Mom?
No. It's me.
I was very big in the '50s.
212
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:35,900
Well, how come
she never told us?
Because she's Mom.
213
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,200
She doesn't talk about stuff.
She just talks.
214
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,460
See, if I put his
bowling pin sketch in here,
215
00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:43,300
then that puts Bonanza
next to What's My Line,
216
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,830
which moves Loretta Young
right in the middle
of the Watergate hearings.
217
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:48,060
There's got to be
somebody else.
218
00:11:48,130 --> 00:11:51,660
Look, right there,
Pretty girl No. 3,
Terry Cooper.
219
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:53,530
Oh. Cool.
220
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:56,530
Cool?
221
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,730
Don't you see? This explains
why I'm so screwed up.
I'm a showbiz kid.
222
00:12:01,730 --> 00:12:06,600
Sid, hi, Paul.
Okay, Mr. Green Jeans?
Ah, okay.
223
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,760
Where are you going?
To tell my shrink we're
gonna have to start all over.
224
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,160
This is so cool.
225
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,000
Do you believe this?
226
00:12:14,060 --> 00:12:16,700
We find out our mother had
a whole life, and all she
thinks of is herself.
227
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,730
Yeah, unbelievable.
Hey, who played Little Ricky?
228
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,900
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
229
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,930
Who did you ignore
before you met me?
230
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,530
Mom, hi.
Hi, gang.
231
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,160
Well, hello.
232
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:32,300
I was just in the city.
So, I thought I'd bring you
some food.
233
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,300
Why were you in the city?
To bring you some food.
234
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:36,700
So, what's new?
235
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:40,900
Nothing.
Paul is just working
on his documentary
236
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:43,800
on the history
of television
237
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,400
with Alan Brady.
238
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:49,200
Oh, did I ever tell you
I was on his show?
239
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:53,860
No.
Really? Well, I was.
240
00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:56,230
How old are these olives?
I don't remember.
241
00:12:56,300 --> 00:13:00,760
You know the rule.
I can't believe
you never told me this.
242
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:03,900
I thought I did.
Was he like a big meany
back then, too?
243
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,730
He was him.
How many times were you on?
244
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,800
Oh, five if you count
the gorilla sketch.
245
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,760
So, so how would you
handle him?
246
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,160
The gorilla sketch?
247
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:17,530
This carrot is so bendy.
What else did you do?
248
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,360
Oh, this and that.
249
00:13:19,430 --> 00:13:21,830
Okay. So I know
he was really nice
to Patti Page.
250
00:13:21,900 --> 00:13:24,500
So, how could I be
more like Patti Page?
251
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,000
I'm rearranging your eggs.
This and what?
252
00:13:27,060 --> 00:13:29,660
I mean like, if I stood up
to him, would that be a real,
real bad idea?
253
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,430
Will you excuse me, please?
I'm trying to have
a conversation with my mother.
254
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,300
So am I.
Well, I got here first.
255
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:36,230
Well, just talk about
Alan Brady, please.
256
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,160
Mom, talk to me, okay?
Sure.
257
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,760
Smell this milk.
Okay. My turn.
258
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:45,730
So, so how did you--
how did you--
how did you handle him?
259
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:47,160
Oh, beats me.
260
00:13:47,230 --> 00:13:51,630
You were an actress?
No. I was pretty.
I had a lot of pep.
261
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,600
So they put me
in a couple of sketches.
262
00:13:53,660 --> 00:13:56,200
So, so you had,
like, a whole life that
we don't know anything about.
263
00:13:56,260 --> 00:14:00,430
See how I gave
that one for you.
No, no. It's no big deal.
264
00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:03,030
I was young.
I needed a job,
and I had a connection.
265
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,700
To Alan Brady?
Uh-huh.
266
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,700
What connection?
He used to date
your Aunt Lolly.
267
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,930
Hey, barkie, another saki.
268
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,960
See, if I knew how
to handle this guy...
Did you ever tickle his ear?
269
00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:21,000
I can't say that I have.
Well, it works.
270
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,300
So you knew him really well?
Oh, I knew them all
in those days.
271
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,000
All those funny boys
used to come up
and do the Catskills.
272
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:30,730
Aunt Lolly played the harp
in Grosssinger's Lobby.
273
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:37,100
Get out of here.
Oh, that Alan,
was he cute and young.
274
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,000
I liked them young.
Wow.
275
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:43,600
Wow nothing.
He was just like his act,
276
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:46,360
six minutes of great material
and no finish.
277
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:55,730
That's just
a little bit more
than I needed to know.
278
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,860
So, so what was he like?
He was a man.
279
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:03,560
In other words, what?
280
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:09,430
Well, we were a regular item,
then he'd get the itch
and start bird-dogging around.
281
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,300
So--So now what,
what did you do?
282
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,200
I gave what I got.
283
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,930
I'd samba with Sid Caesar
284
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,500
and go kayaking
with Fat Jack Leonard,
285
00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:24,430
and the next thing you know,
he'd be crazy jealous
286
00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,230
and come scratching at my door
like Churchill's Pekingese.
287
00:15:30,860 --> 00:15:32,660
This is good to know.
288
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,230
Did you, did you ever go out
with Milton Berle?
289
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:39,030
It's true.
290
00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,600
I don't know about this.
291
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,230
You want to change your film?
No.
292
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,900
Do you want him to narrate?
Yes.
293
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,330
Do you want to tickle his ear?
All right.
294
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,030
(INTERCOM BUZZING)
295
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,530
Sid?
He's in the elevator.
296
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,400
Did he see you?
I'm wearing a hat.
297
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,930
All right.
Well, here we go.
298
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,200
Bread him like a cutlet.
299
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:14,230
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
300
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,860
Okay. I'm here.
Show me the changes.
You, I like.
301
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,460
Honey, look.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
302
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:26,460
Why not?
No, that's just--just
an expression.
303
00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:28,200
So is
"May I take your coat?"
304
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,400
Sorry, of course.
305
00:16:31,460 --> 00:16:35,900
And Mr. Brady, may I say
what an honor it is to
have you in our home.
306
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,960
Lucky for you she asked me.
(CHUCKLES) So, umm,
dinner first or business?
307
00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:43,360
Well, you know what,
I thought we would get
business out of the way
308
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:44,530
and then we could
enjoy the evening.
309
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,060
Okay.
Okay.
310
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:48,330
I'm not gonna
change my film.
311
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,530
You ready to eat?
I'll see.
312
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:55,600
Paul, Paul, Paul, do you,
do you have a piece of paper?
313
00:16:55,660 --> 00:16:57,830
Sure.
Thank you.
314
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,960
"Have hearing checked."
315
00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:05,960
Funniest thing, I thought
I heard you say you're not
going to change your film.
316
00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:08,800
Yeah, well, that's true.
That's what I said.
317
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:12,430
Look, Mr. Brady, I know that
you're accustomed to getting
things your way.
318
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,660
But this is my show,
and we have
a verbal agreement,
319
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:16,800
and I expect you to live up
to your end of the bargain.
320
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:20,230
I'm sorry that it comes down
to this, but that is it,
that is my final decision.
321
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:24,400
Oh, that was just adorable.
Get my coat.
322
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:28,260
Certainly.
Hope everybody's hungry.
323
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,630
Where are you going?
Ah, Mr. Brady has to leave.
324
00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:34,030
This is what I get for
stepping off the mountain.
325
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:38,930
You I still like.
Mr. Brady, Alan,
please don't go.
326
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:42,600
Honey, honey, we can't,
we can't work it out.
Of course, we can work it out.
327
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:45,230
There will be other movies.
Not with Mr. Brady.
328
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:47,530
Will you two
get away from me!
329
00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:53,530
Mr. Brady, please.
Sweetie, it's over.
330
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,060
Really?
Oh, it's over.
331
00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:58,860
Yeah, so why, why don't
we just eat and move on. Okay?
332
00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:02,160
Mr. Brady, again, thank you
and good evening.
It was nice meeting you, kid.
333
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:05,860
Give my regards to oblivion.
334
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:09,160
Oh, this lasagna smells good.
What did you put in this?
335
00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:12,660
Oh, noodles and tomato sauce,
336
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,860
(BLUBBERING)
cheese. Oh, Paul.
337
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,200
It's okay, sweetie.
I'm-- I'm sure everything,
something will work out.
338
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:27,130
I know. It's just we were
counting on this so much.
339
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,200
Listen, Paul,
I've got to talk to you.
340
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:31,530
Oh, sorry.
Yeah, this is not
a great time.
341
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,160
Just come here.
342
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,700
Sorry folks, it will only
take a second.
Excuse me.
343
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,900
Sorry I'm making it
tough on you.
Yeah, well.
344
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,000
Okay, okay,
keep the pineapple.
345
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,900
Sweetie, may I see you
in the kitchen, please?
346
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:56,300
All right.
347
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,230
Well, who's hungry?
Load me up, baby.
348
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:05,660
Mr. Brady,
you're absolutely right.
I know I am. About what?
349
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,600
If you don't feel comfortable
with the film, if you are not
happy with the film,
350
00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:10,600
then I see no reason
that you should do it.
351
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:12,600
I see no reason either.
It wouldn't be right.
352
00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,130
It wouldn't
be right at all.
353
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,730
All right, all right.
What's going on here?
Nothing.
354
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,900
Oh, mushrooms in here.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
355
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,460
Well, it's just that
everything has worked out.
356
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:21,960
We found somebody else
to take your place.
357
00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:23,760
So, there is nothing
for you to worry about.
358
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:26,430
Oh, fine, fine.
359
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,700
Who'd you get?
Not that it matters.
360
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,900
Oh, nobody. Sid Caesar.
361
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:36,330
I've heard of him.
362
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,030
Cheese, sweetie?
363
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:41,960
Caesar is a genius.
Brilliant physical comedian,
364
00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:45,400
which, by the way,
is very important
for a narrator.
365
00:19:47,660 --> 00:19:49,960
He does all those
wonderful double takes
366
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:55,200
that nobody will see, but it
will be nice that they're
there, and he does pantomime.
367
00:19:55,260 --> 00:20:00,500
Oh, that will come in handy.
This is just delicious,
sweetie.
368
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:10,030
You know what, kid,
I can see you're
in kind of a jam.
369
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,660
I am, huh?
Yeah.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
370
00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:17,600
I like you, and you're
growing on me.
Why don't I bail you out?
371
00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:19,230
Really?
What the heck.
372
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,200
(STUTTERING)
Well, I don't know.
373
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,260
You don't know?
No.
374
00:20:22,330 --> 00:20:24,760
He's going to
kill this yet.
375
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:27,930
Yeah, well, it's just that
you seem very uncomfortable
with the film the way it is.
376
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,800
It's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. Just made
a few suggestions.
377
00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:34,900
That's the kind of a person
I am. Whatever you want.
Let's do it your way.
378
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,000
All right.
Well, then, you got a deal.
379
00:20:37,060 --> 00:20:40,260
And I'll tell you what.
I'll call Sid Caesar.
I will let him down easy.
380
00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,360
I don't know why you made
such a big fuss about this.
381
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:45,900
Well, now that
this is settled,
let's sit down and eat.
382
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,700
Okay. Mr. Brady?
Yes.
383
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,760
You're sitting in my chair.
384
00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:55,760
And?
And I'm thrilled.
385
00:20:56,830 --> 00:20:59,560
So, you trip over
the ottoman.
386
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:02,460
You see, you're looking over
there, not looking here,
you trip over it
387
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,000
and she helps you up.
388
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,360
I don't know.
Honey, he's our guest.
389
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,730
If he wants you to fall,
you should fall.
390
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,500
I don't know that an ottoman
is funny, what if,
and I'm just pitching,
391
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,460
if I trip over, like, a hat.
See, that's never been done.
392
00:21:15,530 --> 00:21:16,760
You know why it's never
been done?
Why?
393
00:21:16,830 --> 00:21:18,860
It's stupid.
394
00:21:18,930 --> 00:21:21,800
All right, but, now,
again, it's just an idea,
instead of tripping,
395
00:21:21,860 --> 00:21:24,260
I'm walking, right,
so, I come in,
I'm walking
396
00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:27,000
on the ottoman,
and then I keep walking.
397
00:21:27,060 --> 00:21:29,830
I'm really sorry
about Paul.
398
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:32,500
Would that be funny?
No, my mother can
do that.
399
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:35,830
All right. Now, this is, okay,
'cause you're expecting
falling, right?
400
00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:39,730
So, I'm walking
and all of a sudden, I sit.
401
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,030
Sitting has never been funny.
Never.
Sitting.
402
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:45,160
Whistler's Mother is sitting,
who laughs?
403
00:21:45,230 --> 00:21:46,800
All right, let me just
bounce this off of you.
31180
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