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1
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:07,232
Honey, did you chain the front door?
2
00:00:07,407 --> 00:00:09,034
- Are you sure?
- I think so.
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:11,473
- Would you check, please?
- Honey, I chained it.
4
00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:14,408
I definitely chained it.
5
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:17,072
- What?
- What is that humming?
6
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,886
- I don't hear anything.
- Did you leave your stereo on?
7
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:24,785
- I don't think so.
- Well, it's humming.
8
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:28,916
It's not on.
9
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:32,758
While you're out there,
could you check the front door?
10
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:35,691
Boy, she's good.
11
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,051
I told you the door was chained.
12
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:31,179
I don't mean just chained. This was
like really chained, securely chained.
13
00:01:31,357 --> 00:01:33,291
- That's a lot...
- It's not too much floss.
14
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,484
Fine.
15
00:01:34,661 --> 00:01:37,129
Why would your mother buy us
an electric blanket?
16
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:39,891
- Why? Because she loves us.
- Yeah, right.
17
00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:44,868
All right, well, she loves me,
and you're here.
18
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,804
- I mean, what's the occasion?
- Blanket day at Shea.
19
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:50,374
That's really a lot of floss.
20
00:01:50,543 --> 00:01:52,807
I told her eight times
I hate electric blankets.
21
00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,641
Can we drop it? What's the rule?
No mothers in the bedroom.
22
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,477
- We're in the bathroom.
- Yeah, but it's all connected.
23
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:00,642
And besides...
24
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,511
...you and I have other business
to take care of tonight.
25
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:07,649
That's right. That's exactly
why she sent the blankets.
26
00:02:07,827 --> 00:02:11,319
- She knew we were gonna make love.
- Honey, no mothers. No mothers.
27
00:02:11,498 --> 00:02:14,490
Come on. No mothers, no sisters,
No exes, no work.
28
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,033
So, what can we talk about?
29
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:18,670
Yachting.
30
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:23,400
Yachting and the Portuguese fur trade.
31
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:28,777
Let me explain: The floss
around your fingers, that's wasted...
32
00:02:28,948 --> 00:02:32,247
- You do it your way, I'll do it my way.
- Fine.
33
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,622
- Are we gonna do this or not?
- That's what I'm hoping.
34
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,659
- Thank you for taking the night off.
- Don't thank me.
35
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,388
- Thank the cameras for breaking.
- Still, it's the thought.
36
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:48,432
Two more weeks, this film will be done.
I won't be shooting nights anymore.
37
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,660
You're here now.
Let's make the most of it.
38
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:54,773
- I think it's gonna be pretty good.
- It's gonna be great.
39
00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,603
See, I was talking about my film.
40
00:02:58,044 --> 00:03:00,808
Yes, honey, New York at Night is
a great idea.
41
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,143
Yes, honey, New York at Night is
going to be a great documentary.
42
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:07,718
Yes, honey, you are the premier
filmmaker of your generation.
43
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,148
Okay, I'm aroused.
44
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,221
- Now let's work on you.
- Good.
45
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,726
Did I tell you what I'm thinking
for the opening?
46
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:20,889
Something with a window. Either looking
out a window or maybe inside.
47
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,625
- It'll either be inside...
- Honey.
48
00:03:22,802 --> 00:03:24,531
Sorry.
49
00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,970
Chocolate!
Where did this come from?
50
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,633
Originally, Belgium.
But I'm the guy who put it there.
51
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:34,439
- You are a prince.
- I'm telling you.
52
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,878
- Can I eat it now?
- It's up to you.
53
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,109
Are there more?
54
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:42,013
- I'm gonna eat it now.
- Whatever you want.
55
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:44,486
No, Murray, not on my mohair sweater.
56
00:03:44,657 --> 00:03:48,058
Why'd you tell him it's a sweater?
He thought he got lucky.
57
00:03:50,129 --> 00:03:52,256
How did Murray do
with the mouse today?
58
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:54,024
There is no mouse.
59
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,794
There's no mouse?
So, what's he been chasing all week?
60
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,632
He thinks there's a mouse
so he runs after nothing...
61
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:03,242
...90 miles an hour
and slams into the wall.
62
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:07,436
This pathetic furry thud.
63
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:13,476
- Like that?
- All day long.
64
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:15,780
Run, run, run, boom!
Run, run, run, boom!
65
00:04:17,457 --> 00:04:18,924
Could you just do that again?
66
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:21,252
Run, run, run, boom.
67
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,553
- Never mind.
- What?
68
00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:28,167
I thought it was something,
but it's not. You're so cute.
69
00:04:28,334 --> 00:04:30,802
- I have to call Fran.
- Fran can't help you right here.
70
00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:33,700
She called during dinner,
and I promised I'd call her back.
71
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,966
- She's having a bad day.
- I think it can wait.
72
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,508
Ever since she broke up with Mark,
she gets nervous.
73
00:04:38,678 --> 00:04:41,442
She's been the same way before,
only there was two of them.
74
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:45,710
- I feel like I should call her.
- You know what? Watch this. Shut up.
75
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:12,573
- Is it me, or is he breaking the mood?
- One second.
76
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,113
- Perfect.
- Not really perfect.
77
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,878
- What's the matter?
- I don't know.
78
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,957
Patsy Cline. You know,
I'm thinking plane crash... death.
79
00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,016
I don't need that right now.
80
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:30,856
- And, now, here's Jimi Hendrix.
- Dead.
81
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:34,158
- Harry Chapin's "Taxi."
- Also dead.
82
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,895
A look back at the careerof Janis Joplin.
83
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,507
Why can't these people
just take care of themselves?
84
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:47,672
- Perfect.
- What, Beethoven's not dead?
85
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:51,214
Yeah, but he's been dead
since we knew him.
86
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,223
You know what?
This is too much pressure.
87
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,560
- Mattingly takes a strike inside.
- Hold it.
88
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,253
Forget it.
89
00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,932
- What are you doing?
- Know what?
90
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,805
Another two seconds,
I may not need you.
91
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,508
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I need you.
92
00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:26,379
Come here right this minute.
93
00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:37,588
- He's so stupid.
- He's not stupid. He's fearless.
94
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,459
Yeah, when there's nothing there.
95
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:43,898
Hey, don't make fun of my dog.
That's a very talented...
96
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,971
- What? What?
- I hit my funny bone!
97
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:50,871
Walk it off. Walk it off.
Don't lose the mood.
98
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,848
- Don't.
- I won't.
99
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:07,784
Hi, we're out. Leave a message,and we'll call you back.
100
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,452
Jamie, it's Mom.Did Paul tell you I called?
101
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,565
Your mother called.
102
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,398
- Well, it's nothing important.
- Which I knew.
103
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:19,732
The doctor says I'll be fine.It's just a bunion, a corn.
104
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,636
It's what your father gets.It's like a big callus.
105
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:24,674
We thought we needed music.
We don't.
106
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:28,109
- They slice it right off.
- Just pick it up.
107
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:33,179
Mom, hi. No, we're up.
Are you okay?
108
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,883
- Is she okay?
- She's fine.
109
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,989
- So hang up.
- No, we're not doing anything.
110
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,618
Tell her we're having sex.
Tell your mother we're having sex.
111
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:45,992
We're having dinner.
Is it okay if I call you tomorrow?
112
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,666
Pot roast.
113
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:54,068
- I cooked it.
- Who's gonna believe that?
114
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,730
I know the string comes off.
115
00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:59,273
Get him, Murray!
Get that mouse!
116
00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,879
He's kidding.
There's no mouse.
117
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,006
He's so stupid.
118
00:08:04,183 --> 00:08:07,744
Mom, is it okay if we talk
about this tomorrow?
119
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,787
Great. So we'll talk
about it tomorrow.
120
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:13,118
- So tomorrow we can talk about it.
- Alrighty.
121
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,260
Alrighty.
So we'll talk about it tomorrow.
122
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:19,455
- Tomorrow. Mention tomorrow.
- Then we'll talk about it tomorrow.
123
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:20,724
- Okay.
- Okay.
124
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,660
- I love you too. Okay.
- Okay.
125
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,235
Bye-bye.
126
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:27,031
I need chocolate.
127
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,071
There are no more.
There was just that one.
128
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,369
Yeah, well, we'll see.
129
00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:36,379
- Did I tell you Larry got that thing?
- Good for Larry.
130
00:08:36,549 --> 00:08:40,212
- I know. Isn't that great?
- Great. He'll be right near his house.
131
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,778
It's nowhere near his house.
132
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,055
I don't know who Larry is.
133
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:53,226
I told you there wasn't
more chocolate.
134
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:55,697
- Well, I looked.
- I can't believe you didn't trust me.
135
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:56,857
You lied.
136
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:59,561
If you're not gonna trust me,
what's the sense in lying?
137
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,708
- I'm very sorry.
- What is this?
138
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,442
"A man who laughs
will show his teeth"?
139
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:09,138
My sister.
She's writing fortune cookies.
140
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:13,708
- She got a job?
- Not yet. She's writing them on spec.
141
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:18,613
"A whistling Frenchman is
no Frenchman at all."
142
00:09:23,462 --> 00:09:26,727
Oh, yeah, they're gonna
snap her right up.
143
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,629
Can I make a suggestion?
You don't eat, like, all of those?
144
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,793
- Why not?
- Because in 20 minutes...
145
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:34,769
...you're gonna say you're fat.
Then we'll never get naked.
146
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:37,967
- You think I'm fat?
- No.
147
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,135
Because you're not that thin either.
148
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:42,076
How did I get hurt here?
149
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,945
You're right. Let me heal you.
150
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,787
- Do those shelves bother you?
- Some of them.
151
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,425
- Which ones?
- I don't wanna say.
152
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:58,527
- We are gonna unplug that phone.
- What if it's important?
153
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,394
I think the world can live
without us for two minutes.
154
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,328
Two minutes?
155
00:10:03,502 --> 00:10:05,629
Two minutes. It's an expression.
Come here.
156
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,381
Honey?
157
00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:31,696
- He's a dog.
- You know I can't do it with him here.
158
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,492
Murray, get the mouse.
Go get the mouse.
159
00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:39,703
There's a mouse. Mouse.
Get the mouse. Get the mouse.
160
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:43,165
Boy, get the mouse.
See? Go get it. Go get it.
161
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,436
Mommy will show you where
the mouse is. Then get him.
162
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:48,603
Good boy.
163
00:10:49,548 --> 00:10:51,846
- Is it hot in here?
- I'm not in there.
164
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:54,248
Well, remember when you were?
165
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:59,315
- No. God, it's freezing.
- Turn up your side of the blanket.
166
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:02,484
That's the beauty of an electric.
167
00:11:05,097 --> 00:11:08,157
- Honey.
- What?
168
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,531
- What do you want for dinner?
- I don't care.
169
00:11:11,704 --> 00:11:15,105
- What do you want?
- Chicken, all right? I'll have chicken!
170
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,969
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
171
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,873
- No, you shut up!
- No, you shut up.
172
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,604
I should shut up?
173
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,443
Are you gonna come eat or not?
174
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,608
- What are we having?
- Hey, hey!
175
00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,947
I'm trying to make love
to my wife here.
176
00:11:29,121 --> 00:11:32,056
I already made love to your wife.
177
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,556
I love this city.
178
00:11:35,261 --> 00:11:37,126
- Where are you going?
- I have to pee.
179
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,628
- Get organized, will you?
- You're not ready.
180
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,960
You're yelling out the window
like Ralph Kramden.
181
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,658
Because I was getting distracted.
182
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:47,465
It's easy for you. You just show up,
but I'm the one at the free-throw line.
183
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,972
- Don't give me that old speech.
- Well, it's true.
184
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:51,871
Oh, please.
185
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,285
Am I smart.
186
00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,853
Honey, I got something great here.
187
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:06,354
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here...
188
00:12:11,097 --> 00:12:13,031
- What are you doing?
- Don't talk to me.
189
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,794
- But I'm ready.
- Yes, so am I. Just two seconds.
190
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:18,527
I figured out the opening shot.
191
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,332
It's not outside looking in,
it's not inside looking out.
192
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,498
It's inside looking out,
looking back in...
193
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,167
...which I don't think
anybody's ever done.
194
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,409
Fran, it's me. Are you there?
195
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:42,327
Fran, it's me.
If you're there, pick up.
196
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,224
- What are you doing?
- You're working.
197
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:46,330
I'm not working.
I'm just making notes.
198
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,023
About work.
199
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:53,165
I was trying to get it out of my head,
so I could concentrate on you.
200
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,000
- Call me.
- Come on.
201
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,472
- Really?
- Yeah. You still wanna, don't you?
202
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,804
- Yeah, don't you?
- Yeah, don't you?
203
00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:03,143
This is insane. Let's just do it.
204
00:13:06,018 --> 00:13:08,953
I mean it. Let's just do it.
205
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:14,323
Great! Just...
But explain to me so I'll know.
206
00:13:14,493 --> 00:13:17,121
- How does this relate to last time?
- What was last time?
207
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,493
Last time, you gave me
this whole lecture on sensitivity.
208
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:23,328
Well, that was then. This is now.
209
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:27,333
Okay, see, my big mistake is,
I listen to you.
210
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,799
- I love when you listen to me.
- But then you change.
211
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,877
- Of course, everybody changes.
- No, I don't. I don't change.
212
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:36,640
I only change for you.
I'm over here, you're over there.
213
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,614
So I go over there.
I get there and you're somewhere else.
214
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,912
I'm in the wrong place for no reason.
215
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,715
And you know what?
Really, it's not my fault.
216
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,324
You're right. Let's do it.
217
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,427
Just like that, bing, bang, boom?
218
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,325
At this point,
I'd settle for the boom.
219
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,127
- You don't want the bing and the bang?
- I did.
220
00:13:55,301 --> 00:13:57,667
- And now?
- I'm over it.
221
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,766
- You're a very complex woman.
- You don't want the boom?
222
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,671
Of course, I want the boom.
Guys always want the boom.
223
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:08,541
We only made up the whole bing
and the bang just to get the boom.
224
00:14:10,983 --> 00:14:13,577
- I thought you liked bing and bang.
- I love bing and bang.
225
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,344
- I don't always need it.
- Me neither.
226
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,886
- Why are we arguing?
- We're not.
227
00:14:17,056 --> 00:14:18,045
All right.
228
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:24,326
- I didn't give you a lecture.
- Can either one of us shut up?
229
00:14:31,103 --> 00:14:32,695
- Was that good for you?
- Yeah. You?
230
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,499
I'm spent.
231
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:40,106
It's those top two shelves.
They're gratuitous.
232
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,882
- Let it go.
- The longer we let it go...
233
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:46,745
...the longer they're there.
- Just let it go.
234
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,114
Hi! You didn't call back,
so I jogged down.
235
00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:52,382
- From the Upper West Side?
- It's 86 blocks. I feel great.
236
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,549
Feel my ass.
237
00:14:57,396 --> 00:15:00,194
- Go ahead, Paul.
- No, sadly, I'm not allowed.
238
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,431
- Go ahead.
- Really?
239
00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:09,940
That's almost as good as your...
240
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,600
They're both very, very nice.
They're both nice.
241
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:15,474
Swear to me if Mark ever calls,
you'll tell him that.
242
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,240
- Have you heard from him?
- No.
243
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:19,907
Who needs him? I'm a rock.
I'm an island. Feel my thigh.
244
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,143
We believe you.
245
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,651
It's great you're getting out...
246
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:25,790
...but do you really think it's safe
to jog at night by yourself?
247
00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:28,119
I love it. It's like I'm seeing it
for the first time...
248
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:30,728
...and I'm doing it by myself.
I go to the gym by myself.
249
00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:33,990
I go to museums by myself.
I go to couples counseling by myself.
250
00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:36,964
I'm gonna die by myself
and that's just fine. Life is great.
251
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:39,195
What's new with you?
252
00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,696
How come you're undressed so early?
253
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,173
Oh, my God.
254
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:48,677
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. I'm gone!
255
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:51,281
You weren't kidding about his ears.
256
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:57,182
- What was that about my ears?
- Nothing.
257
00:15:57,423 --> 00:15:59,983
What'd she say? Why would you
be kidding about my ears?
258
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,751
- I wasn't.
- Why would she say that?
259
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,224
It's an expression.
260
00:16:03,395 --> 00:16:06,558
"You weren't kidding about his ears"?
I never heard that.
261
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,826
- It's a girl thing. Like guys have...
- What?
262
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,129
"Hi, how you doing?"
263
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:13,997
That's a bad example.
264
00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:17,165
- I told her about your ears, okay?
- What did you tell her?
265
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:20,369
That they get all red
when you get turned on.
266
00:16:20,546 --> 00:16:22,741
Get out of here!
No, they don't.
267
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:23,973
- Really?
- No.
268
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:27,141
- Come here.
- What?
269
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,048
Look.
270
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,185
Look at that.
271
00:16:38,063 --> 00:16:41,726
I wish I knew that in junior high.
I would've carried my books up here.
272
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:48,265
- I think it's very cute.
- You have that blinking thing.
273
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,601
- Everyone blinks.
- Not like you. You got a problem.
274
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:55,577
You have, like, this hormonally
induced eye-flutter thing.
275
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,978
- You're making this up.
- How do you know?
276
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,550
Whenever you lie,
you do that thing with your mouth.
277
00:17:00,719 --> 00:17:02,550
- What?
- You're doing it right now.
278
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:03,983
Okay. All right.
279
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,557
So can we get off my lips, please
and get back to my ears?
280
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:09,159
When did you notice my ears?
281
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,523
The first time you came
to my apartment.
282
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,994
Liar. Big liar.
283
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:14,424
- Five bucks.
- Ten.
284
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,966
- Twenty.
- Okay, 5.
285
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,465
- What is this?
- My diary.
286
00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:25,099
- Our entire relationship, right here.
- You're really way too organized.
287
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,471
Look.
288
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:28,306
Okay. File.
289
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:29,913
Search.
290
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:31,606
Ears.
291
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,142
Oh, jeez.
292
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:38,483
- "December 28, '89."
- See?
293
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:43,287
"Wore green miniskirt. Thought his ears
were gonna burst right off his head."
294
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:50,168
Why would you tell this to Fran
and you would never tell me?
295
00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,667
Because it's personal.
296
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:55,997
She's my best friend.
What, men don't talk about sex?
297
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,336
Yeah, but not the truth.
298
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:01,741
- Don't worry. I always embellish.
- Thattagirl.
299
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,644
What is this, three balloons?
Is that good or bad?
300
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:06,682
The first time is never any good.
301
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:10,879
- But still, three balloons?
- Look at our second first time.
302
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:15,020
Balloons all over the place.
So, what did we do that night?
303
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:17,992
You came over
with champagne and p�t�.
304
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:20,893
Yes, and I showed you Casablanca
for the first time.
305
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:24,399
No, I'd already seen Casab...
No, no, that's right.
306
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:28,233
- What is that? What is that?
- Honey, I was 27.
307
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:31,501
You think you're the first guy
to try to show me Casablanca?
308
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:35,204
- You lied?
- I wanted you to feel special.
309
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,871
So this whole second
first time was a sham.
310
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:42,316
You were the first guy to tell me
it was produced by Hal Wallis.
311
00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:45,286
- I thought that was a great night.
- It was.
312
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,556
Do we have any
champagne and p�t�?
313
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,434
No champagne, no p�t�.
314
00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,366
How about low-fat milk
and peanut butter?
315
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:03,497
It's close enough. It's the same thing.
Low-fat milk. Champagne.
316
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,542
They used this when they christened
the USS Pritikin.
317
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:10,614
Just poured low-fat milk all over...
That's good, honey.
318
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:12,943
That's very sexy.
319
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,677
Tastes like p�t�,
only nowhere near as good.
320
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:21,281
- Don't give up so fast.
- I'm not. There's one more hope.
321
00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:25,260
- "We'll always have Paris."
- Casablanca. Good. Good.
322
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:29,992
That first time, we were in bed
before the Germans got Peter Lorre.
323
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:32,465
Better.
324
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:39,243
Sit down and I'm gonna pretend
like I've never seen this.
325
00:19:39,411 --> 00:19:42,676
Yeah, like I really trust you now.
326
00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:48,546
Come on, big boy,
tell me who produced this.
327
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:53,020
- Hal Wallis.
- Say it like you mean it.
328
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:01,394
Today, on Oprah:
Hookers predict the Oscars.
329
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,001
- Oh, God. Oh, God.
- You see this a million times.
330
00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:06,399
- There's always something new.
- Honey, I'm sorry.
331
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:10,770
- You recorded over Casablanca?
- Well, I had already seen it.
332
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,974
You know what? We don't need frills.
333
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,171
- We need something.
- You think?
334
00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:19,245
What is going on?
335
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:23,755
What's going on is, we know
each other too well to just boom.
336
00:20:23,922 --> 00:20:26,516
And clearly, tonight,
the bing and the bang won't happen.
337
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:29,252
- So, what do we do?
- So, nothing. We do nothing.
338
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,020
- And that's okay.
- Really?
339
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:34,188
In fact, you know what?
It's a good thing.
340
00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,093
How?
341
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:40,500
If this happened a year ago, it would've
made us crazy, but now it's different.
342
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:42,401
We thought we were gonna,
but we're not.
343
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,906
But it doesn't mean we won't,
just not tonight.
344
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:48,438
- It makes sense.
- Really?
345
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:51,481
Do you wanna work on your movie?
346
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:57,013
- What are you gonna do?
- It's okay.
347
00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:00,115
Okay.
348
00:21:57,249 --> 00:22:00,343
- Honey?
- I'll race you.
349
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:09,621
We wanna assure you that at no time
during the filming tonight...
350
00:22:09,795 --> 00:22:12,787
...was our dog Murray hurt
or abused in any way.
351
00:22:12,964 --> 00:22:16,866
As for the mouse, he was caught
and released into his natural habitat.
352
00:22:17,035 --> 00:22:20,436
- And she didn't really hurt her elbow.
- No. See?
353
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:24,338
And, of course, she would never
really tape over Casablanca.
354
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:27,137
The chocolates were real,
and his hair will grow back.
355
00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:29,041
Let it go.
356
00:22:29,748 --> 00:22:31,807
It's a big secret
you got a bad haircut?
357
00:22:31,983 --> 00:22:33,780
Just let it go.
358
00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:37,012
- It's not your fault.
- Let it go.
29120
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