All language subtitles for TheFabulousBaronMunchausen.1962.CRITERION COLLECTION

THE FABULOUS BARON MUNCHAUSEN

Based on the Works of
GOTTFRIED BURGER and GUSTAVE DORE

Screenplay by
KAREL ZEMAN

Dialogue and Narration

Starring

Set Design

Editor, Sound Design,
and Continuity

Special Effects -
Animation, Scenery, Cinematography

Cinematography

Music

Production Design and Direction

FROM THE EAR TH TO THE MOON

Allow us to introduce ourselves.

Mr. Barbicane,
president of the Gun Club.

Captain Nicholl.

Michel Ardan.

And who am I?

I am Cyrano.

Cyrano de Bergerac, the poet.

What remains a puzzle to me,
however, is your name.

And where are you from?

Venus?

Mars?

Jupiter perhaps?

Judging by his attire,
his home is the Moon.

Gentlemen,
an honest-to-goodness Moonman.

Come.

Join us.

With glasses brimming over,
let us celebrate

this rarest of moments

in this enchanted landscape

cursed by cold and silent as dust...

where one can wait centuries
to encounter another soul.

The baron!

Baron Munchausen himself!

One of my own breed,
a fellow adventurer...

propelled to the stars
by pure imagination.

An adventurer after my own heart!

Baron Munchausen,
my dear friends, is flattered...

to be the first to raise a toast

to the health of the first Moonman.

Let our goblets ring!

- Let the stars sing!
- To new friendships!

Our new friend
is not enjoying himself.

His lips have not touched the wine.

Tell him to remove his helmet.

What if he cannot?

Worse still...

what if he doesn't know
what wine is?

That very fear, my friends,
gives me an idea.

Look.

The good old Earth.

Does it not deserve
to share our great discovery?

I shall proceed there now...

this very moment...

and happily take
our Moonman with me.

Let him see how we live.

Let him see how we dress.

Let him experience what love is,
and how we love.

Let him know the taste
and scent of adventure!

Let the Moonman discover
what it is to live on Earth.

80, my friends...

on to new adventures.

My wondrous travels
with the Moonman

begin now.

Once my new friend put on clothes,

the creature looked quite human.

Nearly a human being. Nearly.

He had a strange name:

"Tonik” or some such thing.

Quite a likeable fellow,

but with an unfortunate air
of reason and logic about him.

Thus my entire manner,

and our unusual mode of travel,

ran contrary to his way of thinking.

In shod, a bizarre fellow.

He babbled on
about 'Science ” and 'Technology. ”

I must stress once and for all

that I am not interested
in such trifles, my moonfriend.

But I'm not from the Moon.
I'm from Earth.

Impossible!

Why impossible?

I've never seen you there.

Behold.

The first heralds
of the approaching Earth.

So that's your world?
Witches?

Yes. Are they not wonderful?

I don't put much store in magic.

Neither does that one.

She relies on that “science”
of yours just in case.

And down there,
that's your style to a T.

Following the laws of science
to the letter.

The Bosporus.
The Golden Horn.

We'll land directly
outside the sultan's palace.

Thus shall I address
the great sultan.

Melodic, but a bit hard to follow.

The language of high diplomacy.

Why did I decide to land
in Turkey of all places ?

Because it is
the Land of the Crescent Moon.

I had little doubt that my Moonman

would appreciate
this little nod to his origins.

Few would believe
that this modest chamber

was the heart and brains
of a great empire.

But so it was.

Here is where the Greet Sultan
tirelessly discharged

his obligations as a ruler.

I was certain amazement
would lighten his noble brow

when I presented
a real live Moonmen.

I felt at home in all this splendor.

Let the Moonboy see
in what fine manner we Earthlinges live.

I just introduced you.

He fears for his throne.

I apologized.
You have no idea what a throne is.

A throne is...

simply a throne! Stay back!

It needs oiling.

Look.
- You're playing with fire!

I gather today's audience is over.

“Our ship was lost in a storm
and captured by pirates,

who sold me to the sultan.

I saw you yesterday.

You are a true knight...

unafraid even of the terrible sultan.

Thus it occurred to me
that I might turn to you

with a plea to rescue me.

You are my only hope.

I remain yours truly,
Princess Bianca di Castello Nero.”

She turns to you?

Congratulations.

He's holding her against her will.
This is an injustice!

I shall challenge the sultan!

Challenge the sultan?
You really are from the Moon.

Only a perfectly executed
abduction will do!

That too is an act of violence.

Nonsense! It's a work of art.

The art of winning
the lady of one's dreams.

A true knight never resorts
to means more subtle

than sword, dagger, and rope.

This very night we shall turn
the palace upside down!

The ducks die too.

Torrents of blood, oaths, flames -

such is the true setting
for the drama of love!

But the path to our first adventure
was not an easy one.

I had no trouble,

but the Moonman fared worse
than a sleepwalker.

And that oaf wanted
to save a princess!

You whistle like a little boy.

- What should I do?
- Be more manly!

- Will that help?
- No, but it's more fitting.

When in love, we don't whistle.
We fight and -

When in love,
we float through the air.

Check.

Mate.

Well, well.
The Moonmen shows his true colors.

True, he didn't perform badly...

but why should I slash my way
through 10.000 bashibazouks

so he can snatch the spoils of victory
from under my very nose?

No matter, beard/ass boy.

When Baron Munchausen
enters the arena of love,

he 'll trim your coxcomb/

The Turks raged like devils.

Their fury no doubt frightened
the princess and the Moonboy.

But this little game of pursuit
caused me no dismay.

My concerns for the princess
were of a different order.

I'd seen how
the charms of a Venetian rose

could fatally lure even the Moon.

And worse, how she was
now falling for him.

No, that pale seducer shall not
steal her from my world.

As long as I am
Baron Munchausen,

he shall not make off with her.

For three days and three nights
that infernal chase persisted,

our path strewn with the bones
of exhausted steeds,

while dark scavengers rejoiced
over the foul feast.

My friend the ocean.

What a splendid sight it is!

But is that not a Turkish ship?

It's a Dutch ship
carrying Turkish tobacco.

A merchant ship.
- Excellent.

It can take us to Venice.
Ahoy!

It's no use.
They can't hear us.

They're too far out.

Then we must catch them.

Oh, pardon me.

Horse and man in the drink!

Of course!
Who else but Baron Munchausen?

Two horses and three men
in the drink!

Two horses and two men.
The third man is a woman.

A dinghy in the water...

a cabin for the lady...

hay for the horses...

and burgundy for the men.

To a pleasant journey to Venice!

And now, my friends...

let me offer you
the most precious thing I have.

Karsiyaka?

Drama Basma?

Java?
- Ladokeyech.

La-do-key-ech.

Heavens!

The Turkish navy!
All hands on deck!

So! Here we go!

What does this mean, Baron?

Don't tell me you stole
the sultan's treasure.

A single pearl...

but quite the finest.

One, two, three, four, five...

1.427 guns aimed at us!

And they'll fire too!

Now the sharks
will smoke my tobacco!

But the captain had forgotten
there was a man aboard

who always had a plan.

As a veil of tobacco smoke
slowly engulfed our ship,

the Turkish fleet
tightened its deadly grip.

Five hundred cannon to our left,

five hundred to our right.

One famous admiral to the left,

another to the right.

No sooner had Turkish tobacco
rendered us invisible to Turkish eyes...

than the impetuous
Admiral Hassan gave the order to fire.

The Great Eunuch
couldn't be seen to hesitate.

To prove himself fully a man,
he plunged into the fray.

la/one was in control

of this colossal battle.

In brief, the Turks
blew each other to splinters

and my legendary ingenuity
celebrated yet another victory.

True, a few stray shots
sank our ship,

but that was to be expected

After all, what are lifeboats for?

When the pungent curtain
of smoke finally lifted,

we beheld a theater of destruction

littered with the pitiful relics
of the magnificent fleet.

The final act of this tragedy
was a two-man show

in which both admials
played their parts

with greet feeling.

Bravo, heroes!

I had no objection to the fact
that we escaped in two boats.

In one sat
the captain and Tonik,

in the second,
my humble self and the princess.

Night overtook us,
the moon rose,

and I had the princess
all to myself on the salty deep.

Ton/kt boat disappeared.

Baron...

are there lovers on the moon?

The moon, my dear...

is a celestial body
of a most mysterious nature.

It is entirely -

Covered in silver lilies-of-the-valley...

forever chiming sweetly.

She 'a' painted
quite a picture for herself!

Damn that Moonman
who was still in her thoughts!

If only she knew
that the true face of the moon

was just as uninspiring
as its inhabitants.

Such a pity she did/ft understand
my fabulous world.

The monster swallowed us whole.

In its belly was a lagoon
larger than Lake Geneva.

Our only light came

from the lanterns of a shipwreck
the beast had swallowed long before.

It was quite a sight!

Still, ventilation being
less than optimal,

I let the princess sleep on.

I am Baron Munchausen.

We welcome you under our roof.

Kindly enter, distinguished guests.

My presence on board was
a compelling reason to celebrate.

The sorry caste ways
willingly opened

the lest remnants
of their liquid reserves.

I could see that
beneath their hairy chests

lay heads of gold.

It was a difficult task explaining
to this noble and gentle creature

that we were trapped
in a whale's stomach.

But I must admit that traveling
20.000 leagues under the sea

alongside my beauty
was a welcome adventure.

The monster sailed
much of the world with us inside.

First it went to the North Sea.

During its wanderings
in the realm of eternal ice,

it ventured night under the North Pole.

We could clearly tell,

as conditions in the fishy darkness
chi/led appreciably.

Our leviathan traveled tirelessly,

scouring the seven seas
with us inside.

The Red Sea.

The Yellow Sea.

The Black Sea.

What insightful deductions!

Such a profound grasp
of geography!

What would we have done
without our admiral?

Just once, when we sailed into murky
waters, did his perspicacity fail him.

Bu! mine never waned.

This voyage will never end.

A storm!

Luckily we're protected
by tons of blubber.

Storm on, ocean!

Do thy worst.

Well, I'll be!

That's no storm.
Those are 16-pounders.

You know what that means?
You hear those cannons?

We are approaching
the civilized shores of our dear Europe.

The shy creature
foolishly turned its back

on ail our civilization had to offer.

80 much the better.

At least it gave me time

to ban/sh the Moonman
from the princess's head.

How do I look, Captain?

A harpoon!

I think it's high time
to change into traveling attire.

- You dance like the breeze.
- The floor is dancing with me.

- What about me?
- You too.

My arms will hold you
steady forever.

We're saved! We've landed!

The whale dropped anchor!

You there on the rocks!

Hey, you there!

What are you doing there?

I'm on dry land at last,
and here I'll stay!

There's nothing but madness
on the island below.

You hear that?

He's lit an infernal cauldron
inside the ship.

That sorcerer! That Moonman!

Tonik?

Go down to the bay and see.

He's attempting to power
a ship with steam.

How fickle the head of a woman!

She has only to hear
that ridiculous name "Tonik”

and she instantly forgets
the wonderful hours spent at my side.

I saw that all my efforts
of the past weeks were in vain.

Where am I?

You're with me.

My steamship.

But for a single screw...

the steamship could have been born
a hundred years earlier.

A single screw.

Can you believe it?

I understood the boy.

He wanted to be
another Baron Munchausen.

To travel in a boat
driven by steam - mon dieu!

Such nonsense required
a hefty dose of imagination.

Bu! though two people
may do the same thing,

ifs never quite the same.

No one enjoys a wild ride
more than me,

but I generally prefer
to remain on terra firma

and not go flapping about
in the clouds.

I was quite enjoying
my aerial journey

when a terrible thought
flashed through my mind:

I'd left the princess
at the mercy of that lunatic fantasist!

I had to gel back,
as directly as possible!

Good heavens!

I knew it immediately.
I wish you could have tasted it.

It was wine.

A whole sea of Melnik white,
chilled to perfection.

What a pity Bianca wasn't there.

She 'a' surely be a bit jealous.

The mermaids swam right past,

practically caressing me
with their scales.

But their aquatic charms
tempted me not.

For, as with all womankind
when a men takes no notice of them,

they show their fangs.

This didn't disturb me,

for I'd often seen
an innocent fish turn predator.

But no monster has yet
grown teeth big enough

to eat Baron Munchausen.

Suddenly my heart began
pounding like e bell.

That had to mean
my beloved was near.

Heeding my heart's call,
I ascended ever closer

to the ship
and to Princess Bianca.

I mustn't arrive too late.

Long into the night / was pressed
to tel/ of my undersea adventure.

Everyone listened, electrified

All but those two.

They were not interested

I failed to see how a princess
could be so interested

in talk of machinery and the like.

Can you read the stars?

A little.

I was curious
what he would read in them.

It's written in the stars

that your eyes
are deeper than the heavens.

Really, my dear inventor!
That's not even original!

Every young man says that
to a girl under a starry sky!

Thus ifs been
for a thousand years.

The stars will cease
to be a mystery to us.

There will be no mysteries anymore

except the mystery of love.

...and the horse I was riding
swam rather than galloped,

while possibly
a million varieties of fish

sped along the seabed
ahead of me...

at unbelievable velocities.

“Possibly a million varieties...”

Was it a million or not?

This is a ship's log, Baron!

Very well.

To be exact...

1,000,256 fish.

Fifty-seven.

And I didn't just pull that number
out of my sleeve.

As we sailed on,
I could see with my own eyes

that the princess preferred to listen

to that tel/er of tales
from another World.

Why did the romance
of my adventures not affect her,

the romance of war,
duels, and chivalry?

Then fortune smiled upon me.

The commander of this fort
was my old friend, General Elemele,

a sold/er to the core.

Volleys of champagne were loosed
at once to celebrate our meeting.

Unfortunately, the enemy
loosed their volleys as well,

and our host was forced to return
to more quot/diam pursuits.

Splendid!
Your strategy is admirable.

If only I knew where the enemy is.

Would you permit me to find out?

If it's not an inconvenience.

It's but a trifle!

Look!

Bravo! Bravissimo!

How clever! How brave!

How uncomfortable.

When I 'a' plotted the enemy's position
to the last detail,

I told myself
I had no further business there.

Ana' since enemy shot was whistling
past me thick and fast,

it was chi/dis play
to catch a ride back to our citadel.

When I was a boy...

I loved fairy tales.

And I know you love them still.

I drew one for you.
Have a look.

This is as old a castle
as anywhere on Earth.

In the middle of the castle grounds
is a dry well...

and next to the well is
a tall gilded tower.

A beautiful princess
is held prisoner within.

A young wanderer
falls in love with the princess

and wishes to free her
from the castle.

80 he dispenses with the guards,

enters the armory,

and throws all the gunpowder
down the well.

He waits until the moon
is directly above the castle,

then strikes a spark...

and the well turns
into a fiery miss/Ye...

that flies up to the moon.

You tell a beautiful story.

Pity it's just a fairy tale.

Why should love and beauty
exist only in fairy tales?

Traveling to the moon
and throwing gunpowder down a well

need not remain only a dream.

- To future battles.
- To future adventures.

- May you never see defeat.
- May you never be surpassed.

Me? Baron Munchausen
will never be surpassed.

The very name Baron Munchausen
is unsurpassable.

It is immortal.
There's nothing I can do about it.

Such is my fate.

What sort of fate is that...

that fails in love?

The Princess Bianca and you -

That naive girl cannot interest

a chevalier like myself,

who has known the rare lace

of the most
renowned beauties in the world.

Lace with royal monograms.

Queen Margareta of Estremadura,

her sister Maria-Luisa of Austral/a,

and the other one.

Each offered me her hand -
and her bed - from her high throne.

And, of course, a considerable
number of court ladies

whom a signal from my little finger
sent falling info my arms.

Bu! they did not always find
their way into my heart so easily.

The Marquise Da Rimini,
for example,

employed much more subtle means

to win my affections.

I was insatiable,

busy day and night.

One beauty after another
fell passionately

under the spell
of my manly eloquence.

Then there was the most beautiful
woman in the world...

made famous
by a little-known artist.

I drew her portrait too, in secret,

and though / don? wish to boast,
mine was better by far.

But which of these women
was the most passionate ?

Forgive me...

but the discretion
of a chevalier of refined manners

prevents me
from recounting further.

I indulged in recalling
these hundreds of women

so as to think no more
of the Princess Bianca...

the one beauty in this fortress,

surrounded by so many
dashing chevaliers.

Bu! at that very moment...

the enemy resumed
its infernal concert

General, there's not a speck
of gunpowder left in the whole fortress.

The lethal machinery of war

had been turned overnight
into harmless toys.

I had as yet no idea

that this cunning act/on was
the work of our very own Moonman,

who looked on
with feigned innocence.

Good old Turkish tobacco.

My intervention
proved decisive once again.

The generals disappeared,

and without their generals,
the soldiers went quietly home.

A strange victory,
but a victory nonetheless,

and therefore worthy
of a suitable celebration.

Alas, the festivities
were disturbed by harsher tones.

The general informed the princess
that Tonik had been arrested,

for it was due to him
that the gunpowder had van/shed.

A court martial awaited him,
followed by a firing squad.

Pardon me, Baron...

but you brought him here!

Pardon me, General,
but we won the battle.

Pardon me, Baron,
what do you mean by “battle”?

There was no bloodshed,
no slaughter and destruction.

With that battle we cheated history.

All due to that man.

He must be tried and convicted!

He's a dangerous fantasist!

“Dangerous fantasist,” you say?
I've heard that somewhere before.

- A dangerous fantasist!
- The words ring a bell...

Tonik!

The young man is from the moon,
from another world.

He fell from the heavens?
Then we'll send him back!

Tell me, General:
Where is your evidence?

There's a full moon,
like in the fairy tale.

When the moon
is directly above the fortress,

we can begin.

Interesting instructions
on how to blow a fortress into the air.

The well is full of gunpowder.

A single spark and...

The baron is an excellent marksman.
I'm sure he'll help us.

The princess thinks I can't see her.

Fair Princess...

the Officer of the Fortress Guard...

at your service...

to conduct you safely
to the general.

Fortress regulations are clear.
Duty before feelings.

Enough now, young man.

Stop this.

Do you not understand an order?

Don't play games with me!

Tonik.

Be grateful that
I've rid you of this rogue.

He's out to surpass you
in everything.

He boasts that he's sailed beneath
not just one sea but all of them.

Perhaps in his world
that's nothing unusual.

He also says he's flown
more swiftly than a cannonball.

Perhaps he was in a hurry.

You say the boy is a fantasist.

If he's endowed
with such imagination,

let's see some grand display of it.

Greetings, friends!

Old Cyrano welcomes you.

Down here!

This way!

You're just in time

for the changing of the guard.

Until now, Luna has belonged
to us poets and dreamers...

daring fantasists...

adventurers in powdered wigs...

fantasists in frock coats...

and those in bizarre helmets
out of the pages of the latest novels.

And of course to lovers.

Yes, lovers' claims on the moon
have always been the strongest.

But now...

I fling my hat aloft...

that it may sail up to the stars

and welcome on our behalf
all you brave souls

hurtling at this very moment
into the outstretched arms

of the cosmos!

THE END