All language subtitles for My.Mothers.Lost.Children.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Um, when we interview my Dad,

I'll probably want to send my Mum out. - Mm-hmm.

And I want him to be out when I interview my Mum.

Of course.

Okay.

Let's go with the flow.

...the lamp and switch off this overhead light for me?

[MUSIC]

-Well do I look presentable? -Yep.

You know I'm quite an old lady now.

Thanks for getting the Mini-Bites, Mum.

How many have you had? Please.

-Can I have one, too? -Of course you can.

Thank you.

Where's Dad?

He's resting.

I'm just going to make Dad a cup of tea

and then we're going to start... -Another cup of tea?

My God, it's a wonder he doesn't look like a cup of tea,

that man.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, go away, for goodness sake.

Joe, can you just set up that camera, please?

Oh, thank you.

Well I am actually sitting down, waiting to be interviewed.

Mum, we want to start.

We've gotta go, doll.

Oh, have you got a list of questions for me?

I do. Um ...

Are you ready?

I'm ready.

[LAUGHING] [CLAPPING]

Shall we start at the beginning?

Oh, do you think you can?

[MUSIC]

I think the best place to start my Mum's story is here,

in the Lithuanian stetl of Dusetos.

This is the street where my grandmother,

Bubba Altke lived.

Bubba was lucky.

She left for London in the thirties,

before the rest of our family ended up in a death pit,

courtesy of the Nazis and their Lithuanian allies.

In the East End of London,

Bubba did what migrants do, start a new life,

with her son, Manny, and her daughter, Lillian, my Mum.

In the fifties, Mum had two children of her own,

Michelle and Andrew.

Growing up, I discovered that one day,

they disappeared and she never saw them again.

The horror of what happened to my Mum

only really hit home when I was living in Australia

and had children of my own.

It only then dawned on me

that I and so many others

were living the shadow of that fateful day.

The time has come to find out what really happened

to my Mum and her lost children.

[AIRPLANE APPROACHING]

It seems all roads lead to London.

[MUSIC]

Oh, here we are, then.

Better late than never.

[ENGINE IDLING]

[BIRDS FLAPPING]

Alright. Thanks so much.

You dressed up for me.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Hello.

Hello, doll.

How are you?

Under the weather just for a change.

Really?

Yes, but all the better for seeing you.

This is a nice cuddly outfit.

-Hello. - Hi again.

What's the number?

Nine ... nine ...

ooh, I don't remember.

-Oh, are we trapped outside? -Yeah.

-Is Dad there? -Yeah.

Ring him, Dan.

[DIALING NUMBER]

And then call.

SECURITY GATE VOICE

Please wait while your call is connected.

Why does it have like a Russian in there?

I don't know.

[PHONE CALL SOUND]

-H? -No, he's got to answer, Mum.

Why doesn't he answer the phone?

We're trapped ... we're trapped outside.

- What? -We're trapped outside.

No, one more time.

Yes, yes.

Oh H, for God's sake, get up.

What's the number?

Finally.

Oh God.

Never a dull moment, Daniel.

I don't know how I survived, to tell you the truth.

I really do not know.

If you would let me go,

if you... come in, H, come in.

Join the club.

Welcome to the party.

Oh dear, dear me.

Aye aye aye aye aye.

Did I take all the pills?

So all those pills are for your memory?

Memory business, yes.

Yeah.

But she's not taking them in regular doses.

Oh I am. I take them twice a day, Henry.

Very rarely do I...

So why do I have to remind you?

Well you remind me.

Makes me take it a bit earlier.

Alright Mum, let's just focus on the story, please.

What story are we doing?

Okay.

I found an old photograph of him.

Come on, you old bugger, wherever you are.

I know he's here somewhere.

I will find it for you.

Here he is.

This is Raymond.

This is the old bugger when he was young and handsome.

Raymond came from a wealthy Iranian Jewish family.

He came to London to study.

He was 20 years old.

There was this Christmas party,

kiss under the mistletoe,

I rang him and I started seeing him quite frequently.

Can you imagine being fourteen or fifteen,

growing up the way I did.

I didn't have a clue.

So I was there for the pickings, as you might say.

I then got a job in a fashion shop

in Regent Street.

He's obviously very taken with me.

I remember one of the older girls was saying,

'this kid is having a better time than I am',

'cause there's a dark, handsome guy outside waiting for me.

[CAR ENGINE STARTUP]

And the next best step is a necking session,

became into the real thing.

And I did not have a clue, Daniel.

We were not given sex education then.

And unfortunately, on the first time

that I was intimate, I became pregnant.

That was it.

How old were you?

-I was about fifteen and a half, I would think. -Oh my God.

I was still pregnant with Andrew

when we went to a Registry Office and got married.

But I was no more ready to be a mother

than you are ready to go to the Moon.

I didn't feel like a mother.

I was still a child myself.

I wasn't very happy,

so Raymond said, 'we can go to Iran.'

[MUSIC]

It was like going to another world.

It was so different.

And by this time, I was pregnant with Michelle.

Again, I wasn't very happy.

So we came back to London.

[MUSIC]

You look like quite a young, happy family.

Well I suppose you have a photo taken, and you smile,

and so all the crap,

for the want of a better expression,

that doesn't show, Daniel.

You pose for a photograph

and who knows what's behind that photograph?

What was behind the photograph?

Poverty, I would say.

[MUSIC]

We lived with Bubba in Ainsworth Road.

It was such a shame for my Mum,

because she had remarried this older gentleman.

Here he was, taken in her daughter,

with her husband, with two children.

He was a bit acrimonious towards Raymond.

You know, if you can't find a job,

put some money on the table

and unfortunately, my stepfather asked him to leave.

But did you want him to go, Raymond to go?

I don't think I really wanted him to go.

[BIRD CHIRPING]

I and the children stayed there.

We're living with Bubba.

I gotta get a drink. Do you mind?

I'll get you a drink. No, stay stay stay.

I'll get you a drink.

When you say 'we',

just again, be clear who you're talking about.

I gotta get a pill the same time.

I'm getting all emotional.

Are you okay, darling?

Yes.

[CRYING]

It's not a pretty story.

Thank you.

I should have a tissue somewhere.

It's just very emotional, Daniel.

I know.

[MUSIC]

Okay.

Right. Next question.

Right, so I need to eject this ...

The drive, yes.

I wouldn't do this for anybody else,

you know that, don't you?

Yes, but is it something you want to do?

Oh no, I could do without it.

So why are we doing it?

Because you asked me to do it.

Yeah, but I wouldn't do it if you didn't want to do it.

I know, but I know you wanted to do it.

Yeah, but I still wouldn't do it if you didn't want to do it.

I didn't want to say no to you, Daniel.

Well you could have said no to me.

I could have said,

but it wouldn't have been right, doll.

And this is the road

that Michelle and Andrew played in.

I can't believe it, Daniel.

[MUSIC]

Oh, look how different it all is.

Oh my God.

I'm living with Bubba, and the two children.

And Raymond comes to visit.

One particular day, he comes, knocks on the door,

he's going to take the children to the park.

I give him the children

and he doesn't come back with them.

So Raymond walked up these steps one day...

Yes.

...came inside, or the kids were brought outside?

No, he rang on the bell, I came down the stairs,

I opened the door for him.

He said, 'I want to take the children to the park.'

That was it.

[MUSIC]

The last time I saw them,

Andrew was three, Michelle was two.

And you went to the police?

I didn't go to the police, no.

How come you didn't go to the police?

Because in those days, Daniel,

if you had a problem,

you went to the Jewish Board of Guardians.

You didn't go to the police, doll.

I thought that he'd gone back to Iran with them.

And I remember sitting there and crying so much.

I've never forgotten it.

I thought, 'I'll never be able to cry again.'

[MUSIC]

Well well well, look who's here.

Good to see you again.

How're you doing?

Good, good.

The family are well?

Everyone's good.

Oh great, great. Everyone's good.

Come inside. Come in.

Can you talk me through that fateful day

when the kids were taken?

I went to work, they were there,

I came back from work, they were gone.

What did the family do?

Nothing we could do.

What was there to do?

Very very easily said.

Well firstly, we didn't know where they were.

Yeah.

Lillian was in a state,

and I don't remember too much else about it.

At the end of the day,

I think, in view of the overall circumstance

in which we were living, it became a fait accompli.

That what, it was just...

That was it.

Huh.

That was it.

Why did no one go to the police?

It wouldn't have occurred to us.

It was a father taking his children.

Where's the crime?

For me, yeah, sure, missed the children.

It was traumatic,

and felt it enough to shut it out of my mind.

[MUSIC]

[SIREN]

I didn't know when I'd see them again.

I didn't know if I'd see them again.

You can't make them appear again.

But because I was still so young,

and very immature,

I carried on with my life the best way I could.

I got a job, bought a dress,

and I went to a dance hall eventually,

and that's how I met Dad.

So give us a kiss, H.

Don't forget to take the water, take the pills.

I've taken the pills.

Take more of the water, then.

Okay, okay.

-Bye bye. -Bye.

[DOOR CLOSED]

And Lillian I met originally in a disco

in Little Newport Street,

and at the time everyone did cha-cha,

and I remember she was wearing a sailor's suit.

You were physically attracted to her.

How did you find out about the fact

that she was previously married and also had children?

I think after the second date.

She told me.

She said, 'look, if you're going out with me,

I'd better tell you.'

It often went into my mind,

what would happen if they'd suddenly turned up?

I asked her if she'd try and find them.

She said she had,

and everyone had dissuaded her, you know, no real point.

Includes her mother and it included her brother.

They all more or less told her, 'look, you're wasting your time,

and get on with your life' sort of thing.

Now they'd met me

and we were going to be a couple,

and I think particularly once children were on the way.

And there comes a time

when you've got to let sleeping dogs lie, doll.

I am so grateful that Dad marrying me,

for having Daniel and Ira, for having you,

and for all the good things.

[MUSIC]

One, two, three!

[MUSIC]

This is our Halloween... our yearly Halloween event.

This is I think our fourth year,

as Halloween's become more popular.

So it's a fundraising event for All Dogs Matter,

which is a charity which I run.

We do the walk.

This pub is... Spaniard's Inn

is meant to be haunted.

I remember Mum telling us she had kids,

and they'd been taken away from her,

and she didn't know where they were,

but she always thought about them.

But we were too young to really understand

I think the full meaning of what had happened.

But then it just went on as normal life.

It was never a plan of, 'oh, we've got these children.

How are we going to work out finding them?'

Do you think Mum did enough to find Michelle and Andrew?

Probably not really, no.

Well she didn't really do anything.

Oh, you know, not really.

Maybe we should have come round this way.

[DOGS BARKING]

Abby!

Oh sorry, Abs.

Sorry, Ab.

This sounds like a ridiculous analogy...

Mmm.

...but if someone came along ...

Mmm.

...and took Abby -

Ughh!

I'd have to kill them.

So you'd move heaven and earth to find your dog.

Yeah.

We grew up in Hampstead Garden suburb,

in a nice family home.

We had a relatively nice life, I guess.

But I do remember pending quite a bit of time on our own.

Mum wasn't a particularly kind of proactive Mum,

that would pick us up from school

and take us out here, there and everywhere.

Yeah, I remember even the dog collecting us from school,

hence my affinity.

So we were kind of farmed out quite a bit.

Have you and Ira always been a bit of a clash of energy?

It's not a clash.

I wouldn't call it a clash of energy,

'cause I don't have energy to waste on clashes.

But I think it's um, a lack of connection.

When Ira was born in November,

I had to go to work for Christmas.

So Ira was neglected in her formative years.

Whatever it is,

I thank God that she's married to Phillip

because I don't think she could be married to anybody else.

[MUSIC]

Guys, I've just arrived home from Coventry.

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow.

I'm surprising her with Tesco's finest.

Follow me.

[DOG BARKING]

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday...

Sorry, is this flat eighteen?

You look so much like the woman I married.

Hello.

Good evening, baby.

Look, it's just me and a film crew.

Sit. That's it.

I was talking to Ira.

See, this is... this is what I come home to.

Obviously it's upsetting for me to leave my other wife.

I mean, but look, this is a lovely thing to come home to.

Very nice indeed.

Um, I'm not exactly certain what we should be...

is there anything more?

Is this a normal...

oh, you want to see a normal homecoming?

Right.

So do you want to go and have intercourse now?

Come on, come on, let's go.

Let's just get it over with.

Ira was never found out.

You've gotta get this straight.

That story is completely wrong.

Here's the record.

A few weeks ago, on a Friday night,

we sat down and the dynamic between

Ira and your Mum and your Dad began.

And it was, as usual it was confrontational,

it was irritating and there was a row and more rows,

as it normally happens.

It wasn't a row. It was a discussion.

-A discussion is not a row. -No, alright. I know -

A difference of opinion is not a row.

Ira then left the table

and you, Henry, and Lillian asked me,

'why is Ira unable to sit down with Lillian

and display love for her?'

And what was my response?

Because she was abandoned as a child.

No, that's not what I said.

I didn't say she was abandoned.

I said to you that in my opinion, she was damaged.

-She's damaged ... -Damaged.

...and the damage would have occurred ...

I haven't damaged her.

Damage... in my view, she was damaged in childhood.

I did have a bad childhood,

and I do remember you leaving home

and going to the other side of the world

and leaving me to deal with it all.

Were you found out?

No, but after school -

The expression of found out means.

After school and stuff, yes,

I didn't...

there were people that I used to stay with

and took me out more so than Mum.

[MUSIC]

Forty years after the children were taken,

out of the blue I got a call from Mum,

saying Michelle was looking for her.

I told Mum she'd better prepare herself.

She could be a druggie, a pauper, on death row, anything.

I was way off the mark.

[MUSIC]

It's not the first time I've met Michelle,

but now, he also wants to get to the bottom of the story.

All of this happened a long time ago,

but there are some missing pieces here

that would be nice if we pieced them together,

because I think that the truth will set us all free.

When you were growing up,

where did you believe your mother was?

I was told by my father

that my mother could not take care of us.

And she didn't want us.

We were told that

we were going to be given up for adoption.

And when this is what you are told this as a child,

you have no value for yourself.

If your mother doesn't want you,

then who wants you?

I didn't have the maturity to ask more questions.

Maybe I was scared, I'm not sure.

[DOOR OPEN]

This is Lillian Melena.

This is when she was married to my father.

Check that out.

-Wow. -She gave that to me.

This is probably what she went to Iran with.

So she would have been there...

And then you know what my father says?

He says that Bubba would send Lillian pills

so she could have an abortion.

Where would Bubba get pills from

to send you to have an abortion?

She had no money, she had no English.

Unless there was a Yiddish black market for abortion pills.

[MUSIC]

[PHONE RINGS]

Hi, Mish.

Hey Andrew, you're on speaker phone.

I was just thinking about you one second ago,

and then you called. -Yes.

Well Danny's here...

- Hi, Andrew. -...with his camera crew.

Okay.

It's his opportunity to have a cathartic experience, you know.

To say what he's got to say, because he went through hell.

[MUSIC]

I was diagnosed about two and a half years ago

with leukaemia.

I'm taking this new medication, and I'm okay.

[ENGINE START]

I sell gourmet chips, Kosher potato chips,

and I enjoy my business.

Whatever happened in the past is the past.

I look ahead.

I do not disrespect my biological mother

because she was young.

If she had an opportunity to find us,

she could have found us.

She could have gone to the Iranian Embassy in London.

They could have found us in half an hour.

Lillian, what'd she know?

She was 17, 18 years old.

She said... she said...

well I said, 'if you thought they were in Iran,

you knew where the house was, why didn't you go around?'

She goes, 'firstly,

how will I have the money to go to Iran?' -Exactly.

'Secondly, how would I...

if he's there in Iran with everything,

how would I possibly get the children back?'

Absolutely true.

She could have easily gone to the police.

Those days, we had international police.

She could also have filled an application out.

It was very, very easy.

I lean towards

she could have and should have done more,

but I'm not sure about what advice she was being given.

At the end of the day it's your Dad who took you.

If somebody said, 'Andrew,

did your mother leave you for somebody else,

she just didn't want you anymore?

What happened to you?'

I want to know what you're going to say to them.

Well I wouldn't even answer the question.

I wouldn't answer the question.

So can I ask you,

do you think Mum didn't want you?

I can't... I can't really...

it's very difficult to answer this question,

because I don't know.

I think, you know, I have a better relationship

with Uncle Manny than our mother.

I get along with Uncle Manny better.

Have you ever discussed any of this with Mum?

No.

[MUSIC]

The moment of truth has arrived.

I'm going to have to talk to Raymond.

He lives in Iran,

so at least we won't come any closer

than our respective computer screens.

I've hired an Iranian crew

to film the man who started it all.

-Danny? -Yeah, I can see you.

In England, the children will go to mother.

But I took my own children.

I would not give them to anybody.

My father was a royal tailor

to three royalties.

We have eight children

and we went to good school.

When you marry, you marry your level.

You must marry your level.

Unfortunately, Lillian was not my level.

I had not the brain at the time

to understand this thing.

I was 21 years old and I love her.

I don't understand how you could love her

and then do what you did to her.

Danny, your mother

was not a bad woman.

The witch, the bitch, was your grandmother.

I would not comply with her request.

She wanted me to give my child for adoption.

I never heard of this in my life.

Do you really think that, after losing all her family,

she'd want to give away her grand-children? - Yes.

She told me many times ...

Go to hell!

Now she went to hell.

Danny, has your mother grown up?

I want to know if your mother has grown up.

She's now a 76 year old lady.

He took Michelle and Andrew from her when she was 18.

What does he think?

That she's a 16 year old girl

that he got together with?

It's a ridiculous question.

I'm sorry, but it's a ridiculous question.

We had a neighbour,

and she knew our situation,

so she said that she knew these people

that was interested in adopting.

She asked, we said no.

It never went further than that.

[MUSIC]

I can remember leaving England, and going to live in Israel.

We were living with my grandmother and grandfather.

He was more a father than my own father was.

I really believed,

and my grandmother would tell me,

a story that she had this many children

and the last child was Andrew and myself.

So I really believed

that my grandmother gave birth to us.

I remember my grandmother

holding me and loving me,

but I was taken away from that, too.

When my grandfather passed away,

we were sent back to England.

You know, nobody said at that time,

'here are two small children,

you're the only mother they know.'

They just threw us,

just sent us back to England.

My father really couldn't take care

of two small children,

and we were dropped off in a boarding school.

I think I must have been about

maybe seven, eight.

I don't remember my father really visiting us.

I do remember one day

specifically standing,

looking outside and saying to myself, 'this is it.'

'You're never going to see him again.'

That boarding school was like a prison to us.

We were in a cage.

What am I doing here?

Who do I have?

I have Michelle.

Too much.

What's so tragic is that

while Mum thought the children were out of reach,

thousands of miles away in Iran,

their boarding school was just an hour down the road

from where she lived.

And here you're having your birthday party.

You've got to realise, Daniel,

I didn't particularly need them back into my life.

If she's happy as she was,

and she's got two children,

a similar sort of thing, a boy and a girl,

and everyone was quite happy

and it wasn't ... we were doing very well at the time,

certainly didn't need to disturb things

and throw things up.

[MUSIC]

In 1966, I had the first

ladies' boutique in Carnaby Street, Lady Jane,

and it was very, very successful.

It was fantastic 'cause it was full of life,

and it was all different colours.

We had girls changing their clothes in the window.

It was the biggest publicity stunt ever in this country.

It was fantastic.

I was arrested,

charged with obstruction of the highway.

A two pound fine.

Was there any discussion in the sixties,

particularly when you were in this

Carnaby Street world, about Michelle and Andrew?

No.

Not as far as I was concerned. Not really.

Was there ever ay thought given to like,

for example, hiring a private detective?

No, it was never discussed,

as far as I was concerned.

-You could have done. -We could have done.

Why do you think something like that didn't happen?

-Wasn't my affair, was it? -No...

Wasn't... it wasn't... to be honest about it, Daniel,

they are not my children.

Never will be my children.

They'll be your mother's children.

She's a person that gives up easily,

and if she's got a problem

she'll bury her head under the stand.

I've always said that.

[MUSIC]

Life's good, right?

You got married, the money's coming in.

You buy a nice big house in Hampstead Garden suburb,

you got two kids again.

I was very blessed.

Hashem was very good to me.

But, Daniel, the problem was,

that when I was on my own originally,

oh, I'm getting a need for a cigarette again.

Since when do you smoke?

Only under pressure, doll.

It's that or Ativan,

and if I have too many Ativans I'll go off altogether.

What, Ativans are anti-depressants?

Yes, yes.

Um, they've saved my sanity.

[MUSIC]

Giving birth to another child,

it's only now I understand it,

must have triggered off a lot in my subconscious,

because after having Ira,

I got a depression.

I don't ever recall

anyone saying to me, 'Lillian,

your illness is because of what happened to you.'

Right, so no one put two and two together.

When you say, what, two and two together ...

Your severe depression,

and the fact that you had your two children stolen from you.

Well, that's what happened, Dan.

I can't say different, doll.

No, it's not your fault.

I know it's not my fault,

but God did I pay the price.

[MUSIC]

But I was so bad, Daniel,

I was taken into hospital.

I don't remember being suicidal,

but I was really, um, how could I say it?

I was really out of it.

I was very bad.

So what was the nadir?

What was the lowest point of her ill health?

I don't know whether you will need this on camera,

but you might.

They wanted her to have this electric shock treatment.

-Jeez. -Yes.

And I stopped it.

-Electric shock treatment? -Yeas.

-Electric shock treatment. -Yeah.

You obviously didn't know. -No.

They once spoke about it

and I said, 'no, she's not having that.'

I remember going to that hospital

for a long time after school. -Yeah.

But I've got no idea how long,

and I can't remember anything from inside the hospital.

There we are.

'Cause Mr Moss always complains

that I never make enough of these potatoes,

so I've put as many as I could in the pan.

Hello, Lillian.

I've returned.

I'm always pleased to see you.

-How are you, Lillian? -Not bad.

-Well I... -Still off the booze, Manny?

Still off the booze.

I sincerely hope you are on the booze,

because quite frankly, I prefer you drunk.

Can we have no unpolitically correct discussions tonight?

-And maybe ... -Race, creed.

... we could also have, while we're about it,

you taking a little bit of a powder

You know, just a little bit.

It won't do you any harm, doll.

Yes.

Mum has no recollection.

She used to phone me so often when I was in ...

Where are my little side plates?

Did I not take them ...

They're here.

We thought it'd take more room on the table, Lillian.

Yeah, but Henry wants them.

Henry wants them.

We're coming in one second.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

She used to phone me up so many times in the day

and say, 'Pat, I want to ...

I want to kill myself.'

Those were her words.

'I want to kill myself.'

And it was during that time

that she did take an overdose.

[MUSIC]

Oh, sorry Henry.

Please.

Do you mind being quiet for a minute?

Hello?

Mum doesn't even know that

I'm talking to you now.

It's more for me than for her.

Mum's life was completely

devastated by what happened,

of not having Michelle and Andrew.

It is her own fault.

You know why?

Why?

She was devastated because she couldn't see them.

Anybody stopped her?

Anybody stop Lillian to go and see Andrew and Michelle?

Did I stop her?

Didn't she know where they live?

She knew.

But she didn't know

when they were in boarding school.

If she didn't know their address,

how could she send me a letter to go

and give her a divorce?

She knew.

They weren't really in Iran,

they were in boarding school in England.

But I didn't know.

that bastard never let me know.

He never said.

I didn't know they were in England.

I... how would I know?

And then how long was the period of time

between taking the kids and the divorce?

Till they found him,

till they got it organised, till it happened,

I would say two and a half years.

Jewish Board of Guardians

got him there for the divorce.

It was done, and I never saw him again.

I must be honest with you,

I don't remember asking him about the children.

Maybe I did, maybe I didn't.

but I cannot put my hand on the good book,

'cause I really don't remember, Daniel.

Do you think that might have been an opportunity lost?

Possibly, yes.

[HORSE TROTTING]

I felt almost like an orphan

until Amanda came into our lives.

[HORSE CANTERING]

I was 22 when I met Raymond in London.

[LATCH OPENED]

Magic.

[DOG BARKING] [HORSE NEIGHING]

He was very good looking,

I absolutely fell for him

hook, line and sinker.

He was ten years my senior.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

We went to meet Andrew and Michelle

when they were in school.

I could see, you know, how he cared about them.

They were very happy to see him,

and I could see that there was love there.

Immediately, Andrew ran

and took hold of his father's hand.

[PITTER-PATTER]

He took me out one evening,

and he said, 'will you be my wife?'

And I said, 'on one condition:

that I can be a mother to Andrew and Michelle.'

And he said, 'of course.'

I went with Raymond to Iran

when I was three months pregnant

and Andrew and Michelle were in boarding school.

they were not very happy

and they wrote many letters to us, which I still have.

MUSIC ENDS

But I have to look for them.

I'm not exactly sure where they are

because I'm a hoarder.

Here we go.

Here are the letters.

-Cool. -1964.

'Dear Mummy and Daddy,

I hope you are well and happy.'

'We are both very well at school

and missing you very much.

Are we going to Tehran on the 23rd of July,

when school ends?'

You can feel the stress.

'Please write soon

and tell us when we are going home.'

I couldn't take it.

Why shouldn't they be with us?

I discussed this with Raymond,

so Raymond, he signed up the children

to go to school in Tehran.

I think Amanda treated us

like her own kids.

She was like a mother and a father to me.

Amanda loved me and cared about me.

When I told her of a pain, she addressed it.

♪ Soldier, soldier

♪ Won't you marry me?

♪ With your musket, fife and drum Oh no ...

Before I came into

Andrew and Michelle's lives,

I'm quite sure nobody sang nursery rhymes to them.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

Michelle used to dream sometimes

that I would leave her.

That was something that really frightened her.

And I used to say to her,

'even if Papa and I don't stay together,

you will always be with me.'

'Don't worry, I'll never leave you. Never.'

I wasn't free.

Everything was done through Raymond.

If I could visit this one, or couldn't,

if I could go shopping.

Michelle, she would see things

and she'd point them out to me and she said,

'Mum, you know, why do you take it?

Why don't you say anything?'

Raymond never told me

that he had a mistress by the name of Rosetta.

Raymond never told me that he had

two children.

They were living in Israel at that time.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Eli? - Yes.

I've got here Michelle and Andrew's half-brother

who's come to Israel,

and he'd like to talk to you.

Is that alright?

Yes, why not? -Good.

Okay, so I'll let you talk.

You forgot to mention the documentary part.

No no I didn't, I left it up to you on purpose,

on purpose.

-Eli. - Yes.

Hi, my name is Danny.

As I've been delving more and more into the story,

trying to work out

how could such a thing happen to my Mum

and my half-siblings,

the name of your Mum has come up on several occasions.

Eli! If you were interested and if you were available,

I'd love to come and have a chat with you on camera.

Wow, it's amazing.

[WIND BLOWING]

-Your mother was Rosetta. -Right.

-And your father was Raymond. -Correct.

Do you know if your Mum knew about Raymond taking...

Yes, I know the whole story.

And you heard it from who?

-From my mother. -Okay.

And most people that, you know, my aunts

and these, they told me that your mother got up one day

and she left for no reason.

-My Mum left? -Yeah.

-Left where? -She run away.

-That's what your Mum said? -Yeah.

-About my Mum? -Yeah.

-You're kidding me. -No.

She got up one day, and she just left,

and she left the two kids by Raymond.

What happened is, they were divorced,

or formally separated.

One day he came,

he took Michelle and Andrew to the park

and he never came back.

And that was the last time my mother saw her children

for 40 years.

If I tell you a story, you won't believe it.

You won't believe it.

I never knew my father until I was,

I believe, seven, maybe six.

He took us.

He bought us a ticket to Meanora [spelling]

who lives in Israel, and he asked us to come

and visit him in Iran.

We went to Iran for the summer,

and he did the same thing a different way,

that he didn't want us to come back to Israel.

He had our passports and everything,

and he said, 'by Persian law they are Persian,

and I cannot let you take the kids back.'

You know Daniel, the memory that I had in Iran,

it wasn't very pleasant.

He took ... he took a stick

and he tied me to the tree. -Oh God. What?

Tied you to a tree?

He tied me to a tree in Dumavan [spelling]

[Door Opens]

because I was making pee-pee in the bed.

Yes, he's right.

I gave him a good hiding.

I nearly killed him.

He was a baby.

At the age of 13, 14,

he used to piss in bed.

Why did Rosetta come

to Tehran by surprise?

Why did she do that?

Because I wanted to keep them in Iran.

I wanted to keep Eli and Ora in Iran,

because I knew that she couldn't look after them.

When they were in Iran, I took them to school,

I put them to school, I look after them,

I got teacher for them.

But she was stupid.

'What about me?'

'Go to hell!'

They are children with a future in front of them.

I have to think about them, not about you.

Were you ... were you married to Rosetta,

or you just had the children with her?

I never marry everybody I sleep with.

[Typing on phone]

[Phone Rings]

One night, all of a sudden,

there was this tremendous bashing at the door, downstairs.

Boom boom, the front door.

Rosetta came running up the stairs.

She went over to a tray

and she took a very, very sharp butcher's knife.

She pulled her children to her,

held the knife in front of her and said,

'nobody's going to take my children away from me.'

[Music Playing]

When he came up, I said, 'no, don't kill him,

don't kill him.'

My mother would go (makes slashing sound)

but his throat.

[Music Playing]

That's how tough she is.

Rosetta was there and she had a knife.

'I want my kids back.'

So I can remember that she fought.

And then he made this scene.

You know, 'these are my kids.'

Said, 'no, I'm going to take my kids back.'

And she took her kids back.

She took Eli and Ora back.

So she fought and she got them back.

[Birds Chirping]

I know Andrew was very upset

that Lillian didn't come to look for him.

He resented it for a long time.

He told me that.

[MUSIC ENDS]

[MUSIC]

I went to an American school

when I was in Iran.

This school prepared you

to go to college in America,

and I had gotten a scholarship and

I had told my father that I had a scholarship

and that I needed to answer them at a certain amount of time.

[MUSIC ENDS]

Michelle said to her father, 'Papa,

when are you going to give me the registration

fee for the university?'

And her father said,

'can you tell me, if I send you to America,

if you will behave properly?'

And Michelle said to him, 'Papa, you brought me up.

Don't you trust in your upbringing?'

He just turned around, he slapped her

across the face as hard as he could.

She had this red mark on her face,

and he broke his hand, actually.

[Birds Chirping]

At that time I realised that

I couldn't live in his home.

I just knew that I had to run away.

I was 17 years old.

[MUSIC]

I travelled from Afghanistan into Pakistan

and from Pakistan into India,

and from India I flew to London.

Then from England I flew to America.

[MUSIC]

I had no idea where she was.

I was beside myself.

She didn't leave me a note or anything.

It's kind of ironic, isn't it,

because Michelle was taken from her mother,

and then she leaves the woman who's become her mother.

No, she wasn't leaving me.

She was leaving a situation.

[MUSIC ENDS]

It was very painful for me to leave her.

I loved her so much.

I remember when I was got her first letter

when I ran away,

and I don't think I've ever cried like that.

[Crowd Shouting]

When the revolution started,

Mandy left Iran, came to Israel.

I always wanted to run away

but wasn't able to leave Iran.

But when Khomeini came,

I was able to save enough money to come to the States.

[Traffic Sound]

We were sitting on the couch

in the living room, watching the news.

The Ayatollah coming into Iran with the revolution,

and you know,

everyone in black and he was being carried.

I even remember that image.

And it was like, you know, that old style television,

big thick wood,

and I remember my Dad turning to my Mum

and saying, 'there's no chance

you'll see Michelle and Andrew again now.'

Wow.

Okay, when I was like ten or eleven ears old

and the Iranian revolution is going on,

do you go, 'oh right, I'll never see them again.'

You know, that's it.

But then you hit twenty or thirty,

I actually never did anything to try and find them.

[MUSIC]

[Dog Barking]

[MUSIC]

I was depressed,

probably my whole life.

But you don't know it.

It's only when you're not depressed anymore

that you look back and say, 'you know what?

I wasn't so happy.'

[MUSIC]

And when I had my son, Nisan,

I always feel that a monster came alive in me.

Something moved me inside.

Everything woke up.

All the sadness and pain just came out.

But I would say that this all came up

when my son was becoming Bah Mitzvahed.

It was a very painful time for me.

I remember crying, and um, wondering, 'where is she?'

And how come,

as much as I loved my stepmother, Amanda,

and adored her,

it really came about.

'Where is she?'

And she could be here, and she could be in this

joyous, my very first joyous occasion.

I wrote a letter to the Salvation Army,

saying that I had been

searching for my birth mother, Lillian.

[Birds Chirping]

I had no fear that Lillian

would not want to connect with me,

but I remember holding back,

and knowing that anything could be possible.

[MUSIC]

Lillian and Henry lived across the road.

We were very friendly.

Sadly, they lost the house

and after that, either my husband

or myself used to pick up the post regularly here

until they were ready to pick it up.

And there was this large pile of post,

and while I was making the tea in the kitchen,

Lillian was going through the post

and I suddenly heard the most awful sound.

'Betty!'

The way she said it, I thought,

God knows what's happening.

And I came in the room and she was absolutely white

as a sheet and trembling.

And her hand was shaking and she held the letter

out to me.

[MUSIC]

It was unbelievable.

We just couldn't speak.

We just sat there.

My immediate instinct was to get

in touch immediately with the Salvation Army.

Lillian's was not.

She said, no,

she's got to think about it, and speak to Henry.

She said, 'I got a letter.

I got to show it to you.'

And what was your response?

Right, it's happened.

Said, 'it's good for you.

Let them come or wherever, you go there,

wherever it is.'

[Birds Chirping]

[Knocking on door]

Bubba said to me,

that one day there will be a knock at the door.

You'll answer the door.

Michelle and Andrew will come

and find Lillian Uncle Manny.

They did come, in the form of a letter.

I haven't discussed this yet with Manny.

It has come up in conversation -

I'm wary to say anything about that.

Talk to Manny first.

-Okay. -Okay?

Okay.

Because I didn't know that I wasn't

the only one to get the letter for a long, long time.

[MUSIC]

It might have been mentioned that

Manny got a letter as well,

but very pie in the sky.

Nothing concrete.

[MUSIC]

They could have found Lillian a year

or two earlier.

I think they had corresponded before,

but Manny made ashempash [spelling] of the letter

and he didn't want it shown.

There were things that are difficult and dark.

Exactly.

How do I go to my Uncle...

Exactly.

...and say, 'hold on, my half-sister was

looking for my Mum, and you kind of sent her away.'

That's pretty awkward.

Well, I mean,

ah, were you ... just trying to think

where to begin, where to begin, where to begin.

Um, when Mum got the

Salvation Army letter, what was it like?

Manny got a letter at the same time.

I got a letter as well, you see.

There were two letters.

I had a letter as well.

I hung on to my letter for a while, because I thought

Lillian being in the state she's in...

Yeah.

...if I suddenly produce this letter...

Yeah.

...what's it going to do to her?

And that's why I sat on it.

Make no bones about it.

Cold this have been the last straw?

Ha.

Do you know, I can remember

you put it back in the envelope.

What was the period of time between

you getting the letter and then finding out that

Mum had got a letter?

It could have been up to a year.

Oh really?

It could have, it could have been.

It was certainly months rather than weeks.

Right.

And... so you didn't think it... you were just

going to... you weren't going to...

I put it to one side.

What I would have subsequently done, I don't know.

Fortunately, Betty

dealt with the letter... -Yeah.

...opened that up, and then from that moment on,

I don't think I've even let on,

until now, that we also had a letter.

Well that must been quite a lot

of pressure, sitting on that letter.

It gave me a lot to think about.

A lot to think about.

[MUSIC]

When I heard that Lillian had been found,

I really thought it was a miracle.

I was so excited and so happy, and of course

we couldn't connect right away.

We had to write a letter and get permission.

Then we just started writing all the time,

and calling, and after a very short time I told Lillian

that I would like to come and visit her in London.

Hello?

Hi, Lillian.

I wanted her to come,

and I wanted to see her,

but I had no idea what she would be like.

I mean, she could have been one of these

bitter, screwed up girls

that wanted to come and give me a ...

Tell me off LILLIAN ... if you know what I mean.

And I say to Ira,

Ira, you've got to go and meet her at the airport,

'cause I can't handle that.

[Cars passing by]

I went to Heathrow to pick her up,

without knowing who she was or what she looked like,

and as soon as she came through arrivals,

I knew immediately she was my half-sister,

because there was a resemblance.

When Ira picked me up, I was in a daze.

Not because of jetlag or anything, but just

because it felt so surreal that Lillian's daughter

was picking me up.

It wasn't tears or anything for me 'cause

I had no ... I had no emotional bond.

I knew she was my sister, but I didn't know ...

I've never met this person before.

[MUSIC]

She brings Michelle here.

We embrace, we don't... we both cry,

as women do, and we just clicked immediately.

There was no why, who, where.

[MUSIC]

And then I just saw Lillian standing

there in her apron, and just holding me,

and nothing else mattered after that.

Suddenly this beautiful,

charming young woman as my little girl.

After Michelle came to London,

I then went to visit Andrew in America.

When Raymond took Michelle away, she was 18 months.

I had Andrew for a much longer time.

I don't know that the loss of him was more painful,

but that he had such an unfortunate time.

What, and you think Michelle

had less of an unfortunate time?

I think so.

Because when Raymond met another woman,

and drew Andrew away, this was Rosa.

He married her, I think.

She said that Andrew would get up in the night

and sort of be looking for me.

[MUSIC]

Have you ever told Andrew

your side of the story before?

I don't think so.

-Really? -No.

-So what have you discussed with him?

Tell you the truth, I'm not quite sure.

You never had that conversation with Andrew?

No.

[MUSIC]

You've had lots of these conversations with Michelle.

Yes.

So surely you've got to have

at least one with Andrew.

Yes.

That's what I've got to do.

Oh God.

-Hello! -Hello, Lillian!

-No one in our family

was going to miss out on Mum's big trip to LA.

You look good, David.

Thank you, thank you.

So do you.

You look beautiful, as always, as always.

These Persian men always go for me.

This is the Beverly Hills

soup kitchen we're in right now.

That people over there, they're my family.

I married into them.

[Laughing]

They're mad.

[MUSIC]

It's so good to see you, Michelle.

It's so good to see you.

[MUSIC]

I doubt if you'll be able to

do it here, Mish.

[Insects Buzzing]

You did it. Well done. I'll puff.

[Insects Buzzing]

Michelle, what do you think of my shoes?

They're nice.

Aren't they the business?

I bought these for our party.

I went shopping ...

And are you comfortable in them?

Oh yes!

Do you know, I love palm trees.

They're very, very thin.

From a distance they look like the wind would break it.

Yeah.

But um ...

Are they the ones that grow the dates?

Yes.

Do you know how painful it is

when your child is no longer there

and you have their toys?

How do you know that?

Because I look at my grandson's toys

and I've given them away.

The same thing that happened

to my grand-mother has happened to me.

After my son's

separation from his partner,

she and my grandson, they moved to Europe.

So your son has no idea where his son is?

Nothing.

Listen, I'm his grandmother

and I am thinking about him ...

Oh baby.

...all the time.

That's why I moved Bubba's picture up,

because I don't want my story to be the same as ...

Oh yeah?

Well I put it away.

I said, 'this is not going to happen.'

There's Miranda, Andrew's daughter.

That's his daughter from his first marriage?

Yeah.

Where's she now?

Who knows?

She came, we had such a good time,

and then she just disappeared.

So what, he got divorced?

Yes.

He came home and they were gone.

You didn't know?

Yeah, one day Andrew comes home and he sees

that everything is packed and gone, money's gone.

And she'd left.

His wife and daughter, just gone.

Yes.

The child was just a baby.

[MUSIC]

At the tone, please record your message.

Hey Andrew, it's Danny,

we're on our way.

We'll be at you more like 11.30,

but could you just text me please your address?

Thanks very much. Cheers. Bye.

[MUSIC]

So I think it's important today if you

could tell him your ... your story about ...

And what would've been even better

if I'd remembered to bring my Ativan with me.

[Vehicles Passing by]

[MUSIC]

There's Andrew's truck.

What, Kettle Chips?

Yes, distributed by Andrew ...

[Car pulling up]

Why I put tights on, I don't know.

I can't tell you.

[Laughing]

-Hello, hello. -Hello, Andrew. Hello.

So it's only me and you today.

Nobody else here.

[MUSIC ENDS]

Where is Diane?

Hospital, and the doctor.

I gave it at school.

Oh.

So how are you?

I'm alright.

Are you? -I'm good.

So let's come and sit down.

Let me put the light on.

Isn't that lovely?

It brings you back memories?

Yeah?

Yes it does, Andrew, yes it does.

But, what can you do?

There's nothing clever to say, Andrew.

Because you had each other,

you were not alone.

No.

If you'd been an only child,

it would have been worse.

At least you had each other.

So Andrew, in this family saga

I found out from Michelle that you've lost contact with

your own daughter.

I wasn't close to Miranda.

How old is she now?

She must be thirty.

So you're not in contact?

No, I have no contact.

I would say, the door is open.

You know, I haven't moved all these years.

My telephone number is the same number

after all these years.

So if she ever wants to get in touch,

you know, it's easy to find me.

-The door is open. -Yeah, the door is open.

I'm dying for a cup of tea, Andrew.

You've never really told Andrew

your experience of what happened on that day.

So I don't know if you're interested, Andrew,

but I thought ...

If you want.

It's no big deal, Andrew.

It's just I was living with my mother.

It wasn't easy.

And your father came.

We lived near a very nice park, and your father came

and he said to me, he wanted to take

the children to the park.

And I never thought anything.

And I said, 'fine.'

And he never brought you back.

I think this is something that, er,

whether my father thinks, this is something

that I think it is possible.

This film is going to get me into trouble,

but I don't care.

Somebody has to tell the truth.

Everybody's kissing up to my father's rear end

because they think ... this is what I think.

They think when he sells his property in Iran

or something that he has left,

that they get a share of it.

I don't care about my share.

If he wants to give it, give it.

He's never given me when I needed it.

Has anyone said to you that

you shouldn't do the film?

If they said, I would ... bullshit.

You know, Danny when I got the cancer ...

...when I got the cancer ...

Yeah.

...nobody fucking in my family helped me.

Nobody.

[Tapping on table]

Isn't it terrible?

I just need to relax a bit.

When I first got diagnosed with this cancer,

I couldn't get insurance.

Nobody helped me one penny,

not one penny, till thank God, Obama came

and changed the insurance thing,

the insurance for pre-existing conditions,

that I was able to get out of that hospital.

As soon as I got into that hospital,

the first thing the doctor came and told me,

'you've got six months to live.'

First thing.

That's the first thing she came into my room and told me.

Instead of giving you hope,

come and tell you you got six months to live

and you're gonna die, and you've got a young kid at home?

And this is where my family ...

so I know my family.

I think Uncle Manny did more for me

than my father.

In what way, Andrew?

I don't want to mention,

but I'm just going to say this, but he helped me.

Really? I didn't know that.

Yeah.

So how come your Uncle that you haven't seen

for all these years help you, and nobody else helps you?

I didn't know.

You know, Andrew, I'm sitting here,

and when I think of what I've gone through

is absolutely nothing

in comparison to what you've gone through.

[MUSIC]

It's quite a story.

-But Andrew, we lived to tell the tale. -Sure.

That's the only thing to say.

Yep.

[DOOR OPEN]

[DOOR CLOSED]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Don't film me in my bikini.

[MUSIC]

However far you go on the road, there's still a long way to go.

That's right.

We are waiting for Danny?

We are waiting for Danny? - Yeah.

He's got to ring?

Yeah, yeah.

[RINGING]

Did you... did you ever love Mum? Lillian?

Did you ever love her?

Of course I loved her, otherwise I wouldn't marry her.

I loved all the women I've been with.

This is the truth.

I loved her, and I love many women.

No, but what I'm asking is,

whether you loved her as a person.

You know, this was someone you wanted to spend

the rest of your life with.

What you ask about love and this sort of thing,

you have to talk to a... a writer.

I'm not a writer.

Look Danny, what happened in the past is the past.

You cannot bring the past back.

It's not just the history of what happened on that day,

but consequences that people are living with today.

I understand what you say.

What can we do?

What can we do?

What do you want to do?

If you could do it all over again,

is there anything you would want to say to Mum?

Can I change it? No.

Danny, how's your mother?

Um, she's alright.

Okay.

Danny, it was a pleasure to talk to you.

I'm sorry for the hard life you had with your mother.

If you see Lily, give her my regards,

and say, 'Lily, you're not a bad girl.

You're alright.'

[MUSIC]

Do you have any recollections... what have we got?

Let me go and just have a look.

Just give me a second.

We're almost done, Mum. -Don't worry.

We've got like two tiny little things to do.

Don't worry.

Anything else is irrelevant.

Okay. This is true.

- Sorry, is something... a machine on? - Yes.

Okay, do you mind turning it off, please?

Impossible.

- You must turn it off. - We can't.

Thank you very much.

[SOBBING DEEPLY]

-We'll have to reset. -Okay.

My problem is I never know what I'm letting myself in for.

You say, 'Mum, I want to do a documentary.'

Do I think, do I want to do it?

No, my first response is, 'yes.'

And before everybody sees this,

I want to see it myself.

[MUSIC]

I wish I could have done more.

But you know, I've just got this feeling

of Bubba looking down on us.

Yeah.

Well Bubba would be very happy, Mum.

Do you think so?

Of course she would be.

[MUSIC]

What happened here was the Holocaust by bullets.

They gathered the Jews up,

brought them somewhere into the local forest

and killed them there.

[ENGINE IDLING]

What happened is what happened to our family,

our great-grandparents.

[ENGINE IDLING]

[MUSIC]