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1
00:00:05,315 --> 00:00:06,696
Hey, hey,
where are you going?
2
00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:08,594
I'm gonna return
the video you rented
two weeks ago.
3
00:00:08,732 --> 00:00:09,733
I'm going
to watch that.
4
00:00:09,871 --> 00:00:11,459
You're so not
gonna watch this.
5
00:00:11,597 --> 00:00:12,564
As soon as
I have time.
6
00:00:12,702 --> 00:00:13,979
You will never
have time.
7
00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:15,774
I will.
8
00:00:15,912 --> 00:00:17,569
Meryl Streep comes back
and tells Dustin Hoffman
9
00:00:17,707 --> 00:00:18,708
he can keep the kid.
10
00:00:19,329 --> 00:00:20,296
Here you go.
11
00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:38,486
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
12
00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:42,939
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
13
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,837
♪ Let's take each other's hand
14
00:00:44,975 --> 00:00:48,151
♪ And jump into
the final frontier ♪
15
00:00:55,641 --> 00:00:57,885
All right...
Let's review.
16
00:00:58,023 --> 00:01:00,819
Effacement is...
Bending of the cervix.
17
00:01:00,957 --> 00:01:03,028
Good. And
lightening is...
18
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:05,479
When the fetus descends
into the pelvic cavity.
19
00:01:05,617 --> 00:01:06,756
Very good.
20
00:01:06,894 --> 00:01:08,447
And the fundus is...
21
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,970
And the fundus is...
22
00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,317
Um...
23
00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:19,734
That's the...
The funnest fun
anybody could have.
24
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,909
I don't know.
25
00:01:22,047 --> 00:01:23,186
What a surprise.
26
00:01:23,324 --> 00:01:24,291
We know.
We know, too!
27
00:01:24,429 --> 00:01:25,568
We know what it is.
28
00:01:25,706 --> 00:01:27,156
It's... It's the part
of the uterus
29
00:01:27,294 --> 00:01:29,158
that's the farthest
away from the cervix.
30
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,299
Very good. Very good.
31
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:35,509
What? That counts.
We're together.
32
00:01:37,373 --> 00:01:38,857
All right, is there
anybody here
33
00:01:38,995 --> 00:01:41,239
who still hasn't done
their dry run, yet?
34
00:01:48,384 --> 00:01:50,489
The dry run,
the packing the bag,
35
00:01:50,627 --> 00:01:51,835
the picking the route,
36
00:01:51,973 --> 00:01:53,492
it might all
seem mundane.
37
00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:55,839
But I can assure you,
it is crucial
38
00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:58,325
to a smooth,
successful delivery.
39
00:01:58,463 --> 00:02:01,328
I thought I had
made that clear.
40
00:02:01,466 --> 00:02:02,467
Oh, you have.
41
00:02:02,605 --> 00:02:04,193
I remember.
Many times.
42
00:02:04,331 --> 00:02:05,849
Hey.
43
00:02:05,987 --> 00:02:08,058
All right, then.
I guess that's it.
44
00:02:08,197 --> 00:02:10,371
Thank you, everybody.
Class dismissed.
45
00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:12,235
Thanks. See you next time.
See you next week.
46
00:02:12,373 --> 00:02:14,962
Except for you two.
47
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,072
Hi.
48
00:02:22,211 --> 00:02:24,592
You know, you guys wouldn't
even be in this class
49
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:27,077
if it weren't for Joan.
I know. She's
a wonderful doctor.
50
00:02:27,216 --> 00:02:30,736
We love Joan. Joan...
Have you been doing
your dromedary droop?
51
00:02:30,874 --> 00:02:32,497
The droop. Um...
She was gonna...
52
00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:34,223
We sort of... I wouldn't
say I've been...
53
00:02:34,361 --> 00:02:37,191
Have you even done
your tailor stretches?
54
00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:38,710
The stretches
with the...
You tried.
55
00:02:38,848 --> 00:02:40,332
We found they kind of...
Yeah.
56
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:41,678
Snapped right back at us.
57
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,026
Have you even watched
the birthing video?
58
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,649
Did we watch
the birthing video?
Uh, I took it out,
59
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:47,857
and I think
the phone rang
60
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,169
I didn't actually...
No.
61
00:02:51,723 --> 00:02:53,656
And obviously
you haven't done
the dry run.
62
00:02:53,794 --> 00:02:55,278
Meaning to.
Okay, that we
can explain.
63
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:57,384
Oh, look, I have
a waiting list
64
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:58,833
of over 100 couples.
65
00:02:58,971 --> 00:03:00,663
I have couples
on this list
66
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:02,285
who have already
had their babies
67
00:03:02,423 --> 00:03:03,804
and still wanna
take the class.
68
00:03:03,942 --> 00:03:05,909
We know.
Now...
69
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,256
Most people
70
00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:09,085
want to succeed at birth.
71
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:10,328
We do. We really do.
72
00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,916
We wanna be
a big hit at birth.
73
00:03:13,054 --> 00:03:16,403
All right. Because of
my relationship with Joan
74
00:03:16,541 --> 00:03:18,819
and because of
my respect for her,
75
00:03:18,957 --> 00:03:21,580
and only because
of that, I'll give you
one more chance.
76
00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:23,341
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
77
00:03:23,479 --> 00:03:25,722
But you must watch
the birthing video.
78
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:26,999
We will. We will.
We will.
79
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,208
And do the dry run.
80
00:03:28,346 --> 00:03:29,761
Yes. We'll do it.
We'll do that.
Okay.
81
00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:32,867
All right, I'll meet you
at the hospital tomorrow
at 7:30.
82
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,731
You will pre-register,
83
00:03:34,869 --> 00:03:36,561
then I will take you
on the tour.
84
00:03:36,699 --> 00:03:39,149
Now, if you're
not there by 7:30,
85
00:03:39,288 --> 00:03:41,048
don't bother coming
back to class.
Okay.
86
00:03:41,186 --> 00:03:43,430
We will see you
tomorrow night,
7:30-ish.
87
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:45,742
No "Ish."
88
00:03:53,888 --> 00:03:56,650
Paulie, are these
all the release forms?
89
00:03:56,788 --> 00:03:58,099
Yeah. Should be.
90
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,274
Then where's your mother's,
and where's your father's?
91
00:04:00,412 --> 00:04:01,586
Huh? They're
not in there?
92
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,519
No.
93
00:04:03,657 --> 00:04:04,899
All right. Just
give me a second.
94
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,660
[VIDEO WHIRS]
I'm almost done
with this scene.
95
00:04:06,798 --> 00:04:08,834
The first night Jamie
met our parents,
96
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:10,871
needless to say,
was a little intimidating.
97
00:04:11,009 --> 00:04:12,286
She ate like a horse.
98
00:04:12,424 --> 00:04:13,908
I remember after dinner
99
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,634
we were gonna have
some ice cream,
100
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,533
and Jamie offered
to go in the kitchen
and get it.
101
00:04:17,671 --> 00:04:19,742
She was always
very polite and helpful.
102
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,400
At this time,
Ma had this spoon,
103
00:04:22,538 --> 00:04:24,160
this cockamamie spoon...
104
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:27,439
It was a JFK
commemorative spoon.
105
00:04:27,577 --> 00:04:28,992
It was a collector's
item. Silver.
106
00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:31,132
It was a piece of crap.
107
00:04:32,513 --> 00:04:34,412
After Paul and Jamie
left that night,
108
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:36,552
Ma noticed that
the spoon was gone.
109
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:39,348
She seemed nice enough,
but, you know, I didn't
know her.
110
00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,522
Well, Ma immediately
assumed
111
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:43,731
that Jamie had
stolen the spoon.
112
00:04:43,869 --> 00:04:45,250
Ma never confronted Jamie.
113
00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:46,803
She never mentioned it
to her.
114
00:04:46,941 --> 00:04:48,909
Mentioned it to everybody
else over and over again,
115
00:04:49,047 --> 00:04:50,462
but never to Jamie.
116
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,050
SYLVIA: Anyway,
it's water under
the bridge.
117
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:54,155
Ma has never
forgiven her,
118
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,985
and to this day,
of course,
119
00:04:56,123 --> 00:04:58,884
no one has ever proven
that Jamie actually
stole the spoon.
120
00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:01,439
However, between
you and me,
121
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:03,406
I'm positive
that she did.
122
00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:06,616
This is great.
This is like...
123
00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:08,722
It's like the story
of the Buchman women.
124
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,517
You know,
each with their own
version of the truth,
125
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,242
and who knows
what the truth is?
126
00:05:12,381 --> 00:05:14,383
I think it's like one
of the best sequences
in the whole film.
127
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,281
Paulie, release forms,
okay? Release forms!
128
00:05:16,419 --> 00:05:18,594
Okay, now, did you
look everywhere?
Yes.
129
00:05:18,732 --> 00:05:20,458
I can't believe...
I thought you said
you had them all.
130
00:05:20,596 --> 00:05:21,562
I thought I did, too.
131
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,461
Frankly, I'm a little
taken aback.
132
00:05:23,599 --> 00:05:25,601
Without the release forms,
we cannot release the film.
133
00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:27,534
We got to have everybody's
permission. Legally.
134
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,432
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Let's just relax.
135
00:05:29,570 --> 00:05:31,296
It is your mother
and your father we're
talking about, right?
136
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:32,884
Let's not anticipate
a problem.
137
00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:35,473
Hello. It's only me.
IRA: Hey, Deb.
138
00:05:35,611 --> 00:05:37,233
PAUL: Hi, you.
Don't get up.
139
00:05:37,371 --> 00:05:39,097
Hey, Deb, do you have
any idea if Mom and Dad
ever got those...
140
00:05:39,235 --> 00:05:40,616
The release forms?
Yes.
141
00:05:41,996 --> 00:05:43,791
And?
Mom's not signing hers.
142
00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:45,655
Why not?
143
00:05:45,793 --> 00:05:47,139
Something about
the spoon story.
144
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:49,556
The spoon story?
145
00:05:49,694 --> 00:05:50,729
She's got a problem
with the spoon story?
146
00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,110
That's one of the best
things we have.
147
00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:53,318
I was just
working on that.
I don't know.
148
00:05:53,456 --> 00:05:55,147
All I can tell you
is Mom's not happy.
149
00:05:55,285 --> 00:05:56,597
Oh, this is not good.
150
00:05:56,735 --> 00:05:58,979
Paulie, we've got to
get her to sign those
forms.
151
00:05:59,117 --> 00:06:01,671
The spoon story
is brilliant.
152
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:04,605
Except that Ma says
Jamie stole the spoon,
153
00:06:04,743 --> 00:06:06,055
and Jamie always
said she didn't,
154
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:08,057
so it's Ma's word
against Jamie's.
155
00:06:08,195 --> 00:06:10,093
Well, Jamie didn't
steal the spoon.
156
00:06:10,231 --> 00:06:11,509
Everybody knows that.
157
00:06:11,647 --> 00:06:14,132
[LAUGHS] Of course, she did.
Everybody knows that.
158
00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:15,961
She did not.
159
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:17,687
Oh, Paulie, come on.
Hey, I don't even care.
160
00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:19,896
All I wanna do is get
the release forms signed.
161
00:06:20,034 --> 00:06:24,176
You know, and frankly,
you know, I do admire you
for sticking up for her.
162
00:06:24,314 --> 00:06:26,213
I'm not! I'm not
sticking up for
anything.
163
00:06:26,351 --> 00:06:29,009
She didn't steal a thing.
[SCOFFS] Oh, Paulie, come on.
164
00:06:29,147 --> 00:06:30,631
It was a classic.
165
00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:33,910
James comes to the house
the first time, and,
boom, rip-off.
166
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,533
She didn't
rip-off a spoon.
167
00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:36,741
What is she, a nut?
168
00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,708
It was thrown away
or lost or something.
169
00:06:38,846 --> 00:06:40,365
All right. Good.
Look, the point is,
170
00:06:40,503 --> 00:06:42,125
we've got to get
your mother's signature.
171
00:06:42,263 --> 00:06:43,403
All right, well...
172
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:47,165
I have an idea.
What?
173
00:06:47,303 --> 00:06:48,891
You know how to forge
Mom's signature.
174
00:06:50,824 --> 00:06:51,825
Go ahead.
No!
175
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,311
JAMIE: What is
the matter with her?
176
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,451
I told her 4,000 times.
177
00:06:57,589 --> 00:06:59,833
I bent the spoon
in the ice cream,
and I threw it out.
178
00:06:59,971 --> 00:07:02,042
I know, I know.
I understand.
179
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:03,112
All right,
here we go.
180
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:04,700
Walkman.
Yes.
181
00:07:04,838 --> 00:07:06,495
Tapes, depending on
what type of birth.
182
00:07:06,633 --> 00:07:09,877
We've got Vivaldi,
Sinatra, Lyle Lovett,
183
00:07:10,015 --> 00:07:12,362
REM, and Garbage.
184
00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:14,399
That's a band.
185
00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:16,297
Thank you.
186
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,471
Okay...
187
00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:19,473
Got the stopwatch.
Stopwatch.
188
00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:22,165
Picture of your cousin
Ernie as a child.
189
00:07:22,303 --> 00:07:23,926
Cousin Ernie.
190
00:07:24,064 --> 00:07:25,375
And now, why your
cousin Ernie as a child?
191
00:07:25,514 --> 00:07:26,722
'Cause he's so cute.
192
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:27,861
Okay.
193
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,726
Let's throw this
in there.
194
00:07:31,796 --> 00:07:32,831
What is this?
195
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:34,764
It's a book.
196
00:07:34,902 --> 00:07:36,214
What are you doing?
What?
197
00:07:36,352 --> 00:07:37,387
What are you
bringing this for?
198
00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:38,527
To read.
199
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:43,152
You're not gonna be
sitting in a chaise
lounge getting a tan.
200
00:07:43,290 --> 00:07:45,465
This isn't a vacation.
We're having a baby.
201
00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:46,811
I thought I would
have some down time.
202
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:50,435
At the birth
of your child?
203
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:52,023
I don't know. No?
204
00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:54,474
No.
Okay. All right.
205
00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:56,683
We're supposed to meet
Amy at the hospital
in an hour.
206
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:58,857
We're already in trouble,
and we haven't watched
the video.
207
00:07:58,995 --> 00:08:00,238
We'll be fine.
Don't worry about
the video.
208
00:08:00,376 --> 00:08:01,964
We're not in trouble.
Come on.
209
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,242
We're packing a bag that
we're not even gonna use
for six weeks.
210
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:07,038
Here we go.
Disposable camera.
211
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:09,454
This is the kind
that takes those
panoramic pictures.
212
00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:12,699
So I'll stand far away.
213
00:08:14,355 --> 00:08:17,324
How could she think
I would steal a cheap
little spoon?
214
00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:19,706
I don't know. If my mother
doesn't sign those release
forms, I'm dead.
215
00:08:19,844 --> 00:08:21,431
I'm just dead
in the water.
216
00:08:22,156 --> 00:08:23,157
Who is that for?
217
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:28,818
Do you understand
what actually is going
to happen here?
218
00:08:28,956 --> 00:08:30,233
For the baby!
Yes, exactly!
219
00:08:30,371 --> 00:08:31,338
Put the thing
on the baby.
220
00:08:31,476 --> 00:08:33,547
Right. Sure. Okay.
All right.
221
00:08:34,686 --> 00:08:36,446
It's just so stupid
with my mother
222
00:08:36,585 --> 00:08:37,793
because she's...
I mean, like...
223
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,967
Like you're really
gonna steal a spoon
from her house
224
00:08:40,105 --> 00:08:42,280
'cause you love spoons
that much, and you need
a spoon.
225
00:08:42,418 --> 00:08:43,971
And if you did
steal a spoon,
226
00:08:44,109 --> 00:08:45,490
then you're gonna keep
that a secret from me
for five years?
227
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,802
Yeah, that makes
a lot of sense.
228
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,976
It's so absurd. You know?
229
00:08:49,908 --> 00:08:50,909
Sweetie?
230
00:08:51,945 --> 00:08:53,222
Honey?
Sweetie.
231
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,672
Oh, no!
232
00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:56,432
I stole the spoon.
No!
233
00:08:57,744 --> 00:08:58,745
I can't lie.
234
00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:00,988
You can't lie?
235
00:09:01,126 --> 00:09:03,543
I can lie to other people.
I can't lie to you.
236
00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:05,993
After five years.
237
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,688
Wow!
238
00:09:10,826 --> 00:09:12,137
I'm sorry!
239
00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:14,001
Your first time
in my parents' house,
240
00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:15,658
and this is what
you do? You steal?
241
00:09:15,796 --> 00:09:17,246
It was a long time ago!
242
00:09:17,384 --> 00:09:18,799
Who knew we'd
still be together?
243
00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:22,700
I can't believe
244
00:09:22,838 --> 00:09:24,184
Sylvia has been
walking around
all this time
245
00:09:24,322 --> 00:09:25,461
thinking I did it.
246
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:28,050
Honey, you did do it!
247
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:29,879
You have to promise me,
swear to me,
248
00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:31,812
you will never
tell your mother.
249
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,711
Well, you would
like that, wouldn't you?
250
00:09:33,849 --> 00:09:36,437
No, no, no. You have to
swear. I would die
of embarrassment.
251
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,956
Well, look who's holding
all the cards now?
252
00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:39,579
I'm carrying your child.
253
00:09:39,717 --> 00:09:40,752
Okay. All right.
254
00:09:45,412 --> 00:09:46,689
Roosevelt Hospital,
please?
255
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:47,966
Roosevelt Island?
256
00:09:48,104 --> 00:09:49,519
No. Hospital.
257
00:09:49,658 --> 00:09:51,245
Uh-huh.
Okay.
258
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:52,799
Roosevelt Island Hospital.
259
00:09:52,937 --> 00:09:54,041
No. Roosevelt Hospital.
260
00:09:54,179 --> 00:09:55,215
Here we go.
261
00:09:55,353 --> 00:09:56,906
Yes. Here we go.
262
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,669
Roosevelt Hospital.
No island.
263
00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:03,050
Island? Long Island?
264
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,121
I must call it in.
I don't know where...
265
00:10:05,259 --> 00:10:07,572
No. I'm saying no island.
266
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:08,918
Forget I said that.
It's Roosevelt...
267
00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:10,299
Roosevelt Hospital.
268
00:10:10,437 --> 00:10:11,921
It's not...
Not Roosevelt island.
Uh-huh.
269
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:14,579
You see? Not Roosevelt Island
Hospital, either.
270
00:10:14,717 --> 00:10:16,616
Okay.
Just regular plain
Roosevelt Hospital.
271
00:10:16,754 --> 00:10:18,065
Okay.
Okay.
272
00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,308
Why is he going this way?
273
00:10:19,446 --> 00:10:21,310
What way?
This way.
274
00:10:21,448 --> 00:10:22,863
Can't you get to
Roosevelt Hospital
this way?
275
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,107
No.
Um...
276
00:10:25,245 --> 00:10:26,280
No. Wait.
277
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,903
Um, excuse me.
278
00:10:28,041 --> 00:10:29,042
Yes?
279
00:10:29,180 --> 00:10:31,561
See, um... My wife
is pregnant.
280
00:10:31,700 --> 00:10:33,598
Having baby?
[TIRES SCREECH]
281
00:10:33,736 --> 00:10:35,393
PAUL: No, no, no,
no, no. She's not.
282
00:10:35,531 --> 00:10:37,567
This... This is just
a... A dry run.
283
00:10:37,706 --> 00:10:38,810
Oh, good luck.
284
00:10:38,948 --> 00:10:40,329
What dry run?
285
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,469
Uh, it's a dry run?
A dry run?
286
00:10:42,607 --> 00:10:44,436
Where is?
Where is dry run?
287
00:10:44,574 --> 00:10:45,714
I don't know dry run.
288
00:10:45,852 --> 00:10:47,923
Where is...
No, uh...
289
00:10:48,061 --> 00:10:49,890
No. A dry, uh...
290
00:10:50,028 --> 00:10:52,203
This is the dry run.
This is the dry run.
291
00:10:52,341 --> 00:10:53,618
Right here?
[TIRES SCREECH]
292
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:56,138
Okay. I'm getting out.
293
00:10:56,276 --> 00:10:57,415
Okay. Now, hang on.
Hang on.
294
00:10:57,553 --> 00:10:58,865
Sweetie, please.
We have to...
295
00:10:59,003 --> 00:11:01,695
Um, please start...
Start driving again.
296
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:03,283
[SHUDDERS]
297
00:11:03,421 --> 00:11:06,424
PAUL: Um, there is
no place dry run.
This is a dry...
298
00:11:06,562 --> 00:11:07,667
See? Okay.
299
00:11:07,805 --> 00:11:09,565
A dry run, that's...
300
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:13,155
That's for people like us,
who... They are having
a baby,
301
00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:15,157
but not... Not today.
302
00:11:15,295 --> 00:11:17,746
Not quite yet.
Why?
303
00:11:17,884 --> 00:11:20,507
Why? Why because we...
Pretend. We're practicing.
304
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:22,682
We pretend like we're
going to the hospital
305
00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:25,650
so we know what it will
be like when it happens.
306
00:11:25,788 --> 00:11:27,514
Why pretend to having baby
307
00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:29,102
if you're really having baby?
308
00:11:30,655 --> 00:11:32,553
That's a good question.
That's a good question.
309
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,521
That makes a good point.
That makes no sense,
doesn't it?
310
00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:36,868
Maybe 'cause we're gonna
get kicked out of class
if we don't.
311
00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:38,214
Do you like that reason?
312
00:11:38,352 --> 00:11:39,457
That's a good reason.
313
00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:42,287
Okay. Guess what?
What?
314
00:11:42,425 --> 00:11:43,806
We're heading to
Roosevelt Island!
315
00:11:48,777 --> 00:11:49,950
Good morning, Amy.
316
00:11:50,088 --> 00:11:51,434
Hi.
Hey, Amy.
317
00:11:51,572 --> 00:11:52,539
Hi.
Hi.
318
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:53,678
Hi, Amy.
319
00:11:53,816 --> 00:11:55,059
I don't think so.
320
00:12:07,450 --> 00:12:08,969
Yeah, Joan.
321
00:12:09,107 --> 00:12:10,557
Yeah. See, what
happened was...
322
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:12,076
Just ask her
to talk to Amy.
323
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:14,009
If you could talk
to Amy for us...
324
00:12:14,147 --> 00:12:15,493
Just tell her
we're very sorry.
325
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:17,633
Um, maybe just tell her
that we're sorry.
326
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:18,979
Tell her we're very sorry.
327
00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:20,601
Sorry we put her
in such an awkward
position.
328
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,294
Um... We're sorry that
we put her in such
an awkward position.
329
00:12:23,432 --> 00:12:25,986
Tell her it was my fault.
If it helps, you know,
330
00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:27,505
you could tell her that
it was Paul's fault.
331
00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:29,921
No, don't actually say it!
Uh, no, no, no.
Not exactly.
332
00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:31,405
Um, listen...
333
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:33,200
If you could ask her...
Tell her...
334
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:34,443
'Cause Amy,
she's a fanatic.
335
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:35,927
We found that Amy was...
336
00:12:36,065 --> 00:12:37,273
She's a fanatic.
She's a fanatic.
She's a...
337
00:12:37,411 --> 00:12:38,585
Do you wanna do this?
338
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:42,175
Joan, hi.
339
00:12:42,313 --> 00:12:43,624
How's Tricks?
340
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,005
Okay. Here's Jamie.
341
00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:51,771
Hi. Yeah.
Thank you so much.
342
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:53,427
Okay. Bye-bye.
343
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:54,877
'Cause you get
on the phone with her,
you know how you are.
344
00:12:55,015 --> 00:12:56,430
Uh-huh.
345
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,847
She's gonna call Amy
and try to get us
back in the class.
346
00:12:58,985 --> 00:13:00,814
Oh, goody.
[DOOR OPENS]
347
00:13:00,952 --> 00:13:02,436
How's it going?
Is the tea almost
ready?
348
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,921
Uh, give me a second here.
349
00:13:04,059 --> 00:13:05,888
Hey, James, don't forget
to put out the spoons.
350
00:13:06,026 --> 00:13:07,269
You know? I mean,
to stir with.
351
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,581
Don't worry. I won't.
352
00:13:09,719 --> 00:13:11,583
I mean, I'll get
the spoons for you.
I'd be happy to.
353
00:13:11,721 --> 00:13:14,103
I think I can handle it.
Why don't you just take this
and go inside, huh?
354
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,208
All right.
355
00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:17,279
Okay. He's on to you.
356
00:13:17,417 --> 00:13:18,452
He's not on to anything.
357
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:19,695
He's not gonna be
on to anything,
358
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,593
'cause you're not gonna
tell him. You swore.
359
00:13:21,731 --> 00:13:23,699
I don't know that
I swore, per se.
360
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,908
All right. Sorry.
Is everything all right?
361
00:13:26,046 --> 00:13:27,807
Basically.
Basically?
What does that mean?
362
00:13:27,945 --> 00:13:29,084
Everything's fine.
363
00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:30,395
Well, what kind
of tea is this?
364
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,534
Herbal.
365
00:13:31,672 --> 00:13:33,502
Herbal? Don't you
have any Lipton?
366
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:35,228
The kids don't
drink the Lipton.
367
00:13:37,644 --> 00:13:40,060
The bag doesn't even
have a string on it.
368
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:41,406
So don't drink it.
369
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:46,411
All right, everybody,
look, as producer
of this film,
370
00:13:46,549 --> 00:13:49,449
it is my responsibility
to secure the release forms.
371
00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:52,176
All right? Now, Aunt Sylvia,
372
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:55,731
what can I do to make it
more comfortable for you
to sign yours?
373
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,284
It's a very simple problem.
374
00:13:57,422 --> 00:13:59,528
Either you cut
the sequence...
I'm not gonna do that.
375
00:13:59,666 --> 00:14:03,014
Or, forgive me, you get
Jamie to admit the truth
376
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:04,774
that she stole the spoon.
377
00:14:04,913 --> 00:14:07,018
That's a fine idea,
Sylvia, except for
one thing.
378
00:14:07,156 --> 00:14:08,571
I didn't steal
the spoon.
379
00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:10,021
Right. Yeah.
380
00:14:10,159 --> 00:14:11,712
But you're saying
if she did admit it,
381
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,438
then you would
sign the release.
382
00:14:13,576 --> 00:14:15,371
Sweetie?
I'm just trying
to understand.
383
00:14:15,509 --> 00:14:16,683
Honey,
384
00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:18,305
there's nothing
to understand.
385
00:14:18,443 --> 00:14:20,825
It's not an option
because the point is
I didn't steal it.
386
00:14:20,963 --> 00:14:23,932
Uh-huh... No. Okay.
There you are.
387
00:14:24,070 --> 00:14:28,246
Uh-uh. Listen, I saw you
admire the spoon furtively.
388
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:30,317
And then, poof, it was gone.
389
00:14:30,455 --> 00:14:33,286
Now, I don't blame you
because it is
a gorgeous utensil.
390
00:14:33,424 --> 00:14:35,771
Yes. Yes, it was,
but I didn't steal it.
391
00:14:37,048 --> 00:14:38,843
Well, it didn't
walk away by itself.
392
00:14:39,637 --> 00:14:40,880
How do you know that?
393
00:14:43,227 --> 00:14:45,677
James, come on. If you
didn't steal it, who did?
394
00:14:45,815 --> 00:14:47,196
Maybe you did.
395
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:50,303
I did not.
I told you, let it sit.
396
00:14:50,441 --> 00:14:53,823
I always say,
let the ice cream sit.
397
00:14:53,962 --> 00:14:55,170
It softens up.
398
00:14:56,274 --> 00:14:57,551
He has always said that.
399
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,105
I tried to scoop
a little bit out
with the spoon,
400
00:14:59,243 --> 00:15:01,935
it bent, and I threw it
away. My God!
401
00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:03,695
You believe her, Paulie?
402
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:05,559
Hmm?
Yes, of course
he does! Honey?
403
00:15:06,215 --> 00:15:07,320
Hmm.
404
00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:08,942
Why are you protecting
her, Paulie?
Hmm?
405
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,323
He's not. Sweetie?
406
00:15:10,461 --> 00:15:12,256
Hmm.
Sweetie. Honey...
407
00:15:13,084 --> 00:15:14,534
What?
408
00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:16,881
Do you want these
release forms signed,
or don't you?
409
00:15:17,019 --> 00:15:18,710
You know, I never
liked that spoon
anyway.
410
00:15:18,848 --> 00:15:20,850
It was like
some sort of baby spoon.
411
00:15:20,989 --> 00:15:25,200
All right. You know, Ma,
Jamie would not steal
because...
412
00:15:26,063 --> 00:15:27,167
Stealing is bad.
413
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:31,171
Look, I will not
sign the release form
414
00:15:31,309 --> 00:15:33,622
unless Jamie admits
she stole the spoon...
I didn't.
415
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,106
Or you cut the sequence.
416
00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:36,901
[STAMMERING]
That's extortion!
417
00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:38,454
That's your word,
not mine.
418
00:15:38,592 --> 00:15:39,904
You know, that reminds me.
419
00:15:40,042 --> 00:15:41,595
That footage I saw
where I'm talking.
420
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:42,665
Yeah. It's very good.
421
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:43,873
I look like hell!
422
00:15:44,012 --> 00:15:45,427
You know, Paulie,
I'm not a vain man,
423
00:15:45,565 --> 00:15:48,085
but, I don't wanna
look like a...
Like a wolfman!
424
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:50,880
You don't...
He looked awful.
425
00:15:51,019 --> 00:15:53,642
This is a way
to light your father?
426
00:15:53,780 --> 00:15:55,161
I want you to
do it again.
427
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,958
You want me to reshoot?
Yeah, yeah! Reshoot.
428
00:16:00,373 --> 00:16:02,237
I'm not gonna reshoot!
429
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,653
Then I am not gonna
sign the release form,
either!
430
00:16:04,791 --> 00:16:06,034
What are you talking about?
431
00:16:06,172 --> 00:16:08,484
I didn't even know
I had the option
not to sign.
432
00:16:08,622 --> 00:16:10,659
Now that I know,
I'm not signing it,
either.
433
00:16:10,797 --> 00:16:12,316
Look, Paulie, I don't
want America to think
434
00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,145
that your father's
some kind of a freak!
435
00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:15,975
Dad, no. Nobody's
gonna think that!
436
00:16:16,113 --> 00:16:17,045
I'll think that!
437
00:16:17,183 --> 00:16:18,149
Where are you going?
438
00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,358
I'm gonna go get
some real tea bags!
439
00:16:22,153 --> 00:16:24,017
Your father is very upset.
440
00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:25,122
I...
441
00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:27,814
What the...
442
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:31,369
What?
443
00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:33,199
Nothing. Nothing.
444
00:16:33,337 --> 00:16:35,442
Just thinking about
that spoon, that's all.
445
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,651
All right, Ira...
James, please,
446
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,343
would you just tell me
the truth?
447
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:41,517
I mean, I don't care
if you stole the spoon.
I really don't.
448
00:16:41,655 --> 00:16:43,209
I just care about the movie.
449
00:16:43,347 --> 00:16:45,176
You wanna hear the truth?
Yes.
450
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:47,385
I did not steal the spoon.
451
00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:50,871
Liar.
Bite me.
452
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,287
Hey, hey! All right.
453
00:16:52,425 --> 00:16:55,048
I'm warning both of you,
I will turn this car around.
454
00:16:55,186 --> 00:16:56,946
Hey, come on! James...
455
00:16:57,085 --> 00:16:59,294
She's the only one
who had the motive,
the means,
456
00:16:59,432 --> 00:17:01,123
and the opportunity!
457
00:17:01,261 --> 00:17:02,745
Listen to you. You're nuts!
458
00:17:02,883 --> 00:17:04,575
I may be nuts,
but I'll tell you this.
459
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:06,059
In order to sign
those release forms,
460
00:17:06,197 --> 00:17:07,819
I have got to get
to the bottom of this.
461
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,201
And if I have to take
James down in the process,
462
00:17:10,339 --> 00:17:11,927
well, that's what
I'm gonna have to do.
463
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,446
All right?
464
00:17:13,584 --> 00:17:14,585
[DOOR SLAMS]
465
00:17:18,899 --> 00:17:20,004
It's a spoon!
466
00:17:26,148 --> 00:17:28,806
Oh, honey,
how sweet is this?
[TV PLAYING]
467
00:17:28,944 --> 00:17:31,809
Look how tightly
she's holding his hand.
468
00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,431
See? She's doing
the breathing.
469
00:17:34,432 --> 00:17:36,676
What is this
cheesy music?
470
00:17:36,814 --> 00:17:37,953
It's like porno movies.
471
00:17:39,127 --> 00:17:40,645
I like it. It's happy.
472
00:17:41,750 --> 00:17:44,201
His father's pants
with the flares.
473
00:17:44,339 --> 00:17:46,203
It's, like, 1971,
this movie.
474
00:17:46,341 --> 00:17:49,206
So what? They're about
to have a baby.
475
00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:50,724
Look, look.
She's pushing.
476
00:17:52,347 --> 00:17:54,349
I shouldn't watch this.
477
00:17:54,487 --> 00:17:56,144
Of course you should.
Honey, this is us.
478
00:17:56,282 --> 00:17:57,869
This is the...
479
00:17:58,007 --> 00:17:59,802
My goodness.
They just show you
everything, don't they?
480
00:18:02,943 --> 00:18:04,221
What is that?
481
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:05,463
Honey, that's the crowning.
482
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:08,121
This is when the baby's
head finally... Whoa.
483
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,127
Oh!
Holy mother of God!
484
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,031
We're making great time.
485
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:23,102
We sure are.
486
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,724
Yeah. What's Amy
gonna say now?
487
00:18:24,862 --> 00:18:26,381
She'll say something,
I'm sure.
488
00:18:26,519 --> 00:18:28,624
Believe me, this dry run,
it's a piece of cake.
489
00:18:28,762 --> 00:18:29,970
We're gonna be just fine.
490
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,351
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
MAN: Stop! Police!
491
00:18:31,489 --> 00:18:33,698
[TIRES SCREECH]
Out of the cab!
Out of the cab!
492
00:18:33,836 --> 00:18:36,011
What?
I need this vehicle!
Let's go!
493
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,944
I'm engaged in
a high-speed pursuit!
494
00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:39,739
Let's go! Let's go, man!
495
00:18:39,877 --> 00:18:41,568
You! You!
Out of the car, now!
496
00:18:41,706 --> 00:18:43,294
Could you drop us
at Roosevelt Hospital?
497
00:18:43,432 --> 00:18:45,020
Get out!
498
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,539
I gotta tell you, the chance
of this happening...
Move it! Move it!
499
00:18:46,677 --> 00:18:48,713
In an actual labor,
very slim.
500
00:18:48,851 --> 00:18:50,750
[TIRES SCREECH]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
501
00:18:50,888 --> 00:18:52,338
Honey, are you all right?
502
00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:53,856
No! My toe! Ow!
503
00:18:53,994 --> 00:18:55,824
Stay right there, sweetie.
I'm gonna get a cab.
504
00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:56,997
Stay there.
505
00:18:57,619 --> 00:18:58,551
[RINGS BELL]
506
00:18:58,689 --> 00:18:59,621
Oh!
507
00:18:59,759 --> 00:19:00,725
Oh, honey!
508
00:19:00,863 --> 00:19:02,382
[HORN HONKS]
509
00:19:03,935 --> 00:19:05,937
Look at me.
I'm Wile E. Coyote.
510
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:07,249
Sweetie, are you okay?
511
00:19:07,387 --> 00:19:08,940
I've been better.
512
00:19:09,078 --> 00:19:10,563
Come on, honey.
We have to get you
to the hospital.
513
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:11,702
I'm gonna get a cab.
514
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,152
No. Maybe I could
get hit by a boat.
515
00:19:14,118 --> 00:19:15,223
Right here! Taxi!
516
00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:18,916
Sweetie, get in.
Okay. All right. Okay.
517
00:19:22,368 --> 00:19:23,714
Roosevelt Hospital,
please?
518
00:19:24,611 --> 00:19:25,716
Roosevelt Island?
519
00:19:30,962 --> 00:19:33,448
All right, Mr. Buchman,
I'm gonna have to wrap
your foot.
520
00:19:33,586 --> 00:19:35,174
It might hurt
a little bit. Okay?
Okay.
521
00:19:35,312 --> 00:19:37,210
That's to be expected...
Ow! Okay.
522
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:39,108
Don't you think
I should be knocked out
for this?
523
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,697
It's just a small bruise,
Mr. Buchman.
524
00:19:41,835 --> 00:19:42,974
I know, but still...
525
00:19:43,112 --> 00:19:44,079
Now, does this hurt?
526
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,495
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I need something.
527
00:19:46,633 --> 00:19:48,532
Honey, I'm right here.
528
00:19:48,670 --> 00:19:50,050
It hurts!
I know it does.
529
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,294
Ow! Ow! Ow!
I know, sweetie.
530
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:54,952
Almost done,
Mr. Buchman.
Honey, breathe, breathe...
531
00:19:59,957 --> 00:20:01,407
That's it. You're doing good.
You're doing good.
532
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:02,580
You're doing good.
533
00:20:04,168 --> 00:20:05,894
There you go, Mr. Buchman.
All done.
534
00:20:06,032 --> 00:20:07,551
Okay. I just made
a very big decision.
Uh-huh.
535
00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:09,656
Next time I go through
this, I'm getting
the epidural.
536
00:20:14,937 --> 00:20:17,802
Here I was, a guest
in your house,
537
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,425
meeting you all
for the first time,
538
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,669
and I commit this
unconscionable act.
539
00:20:22,807 --> 00:20:24,430
You must have felt
540
00:20:24,568 --> 00:20:26,432
very violated.
541
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,296
And I know that...
542
00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:30,953
That we've had
a rocky relationship
at times,
543
00:20:31,091 --> 00:20:32,852
but that's no excuse
for what I did.
544
00:20:32,990 --> 00:20:37,132
I apologize profusely,
and I hope that someday
545
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:39,617
I'll be able to win back
your trust.
546
00:20:43,621 --> 00:20:45,520
What? It's a spoon.
547
00:20:47,798 --> 00:20:49,075
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
548
00:20:50,594 --> 00:20:52,699
That's what I said
the whole time.
549
00:20:54,011 --> 00:20:55,495
I got it. I got it.
I got it.
550
00:20:55,633 --> 00:20:57,325
You got what?
It was Uncle Burt.
551
00:20:57,463 --> 00:20:58,809
Me?
Ira, she...
552
00:20:58,947 --> 00:21:00,328
Paulie, think about it.
553
00:21:00,466 --> 00:21:02,813
Aunt Sylvia was
infatuated with JFK.
554
00:21:02,951 --> 00:21:04,987
Now, Uncle Burt, you knew
you would never be the man
555
00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:06,851
that JFK was in her eyes.
556
00:21:06,989 --> 00:21:08,784
Ira...
What? And that
consumed you.
557
00:21:08,922 --> 00:21:12,063
The rage, the jealousy.
It ate away at your insides.
You had to lash out.
558
00:21:12,201 --> 00:21:13,824
Ira...
And so you copped
the spoon.
559
00:21:13,962 --> 00:21:16,067
The spoon that
she loved, the spoon
that she cherished.
560
00:21:16,205 --> 00:21:17,897
Ira!
You stole the spoon,
didn't you, Uncle Burt?
561
00:21:18,035 --> 00:21:19,001
Huh? Didn't you?
562
00:21:19,139 --> 00:21:20,693
Ira! She already confessed.
563
00:21:21,245 --> 00:21:22,246
Oh, really?
564
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,285
Oh. Well, that was
my first guess.
565
00:21:27,527 --> 00:21:29,460
Anyway, as I was saying...
566
00:21:30,703 --> 00:21:32,394
I think this belongs to you.
567
00:21:32,532 --> 00:21:33,706
Here you go, Sylvia.
568
00:21:36,950 --> 00:21:38,469
This isn't my spoon.
569
00:21:40,368 --> 00:21:41,472
Pardon me?
What?
570
00:21:43,543 --> 00:21:45,442
It's an Elvis Presley spoon.
571
00:21:45,580 --> 00:21:48,479
Wait a minute.
This is my spoon!
572
00:21:48,617 --> 00:21:50,447
I thought I lost this.
573
00:21:50,585 --> 00:21:52,380
What the hell are you
doing with my spoon?
574
00:22:12,917 --> 00:22:14,471
No. No!
575
00:22:14,609 --> 00:22:17,646
Where are you going?
I live on Roosevelt Island!
576
00:22:17,784 --> 00:22:20,373
Yes! Roosevelt Hospital.
Don't worry.
577
00:22:26,517 --> 00:22:28,519
[MUSIC PLAYING]
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