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1
00:00:11,942 --> 00:00:13,841
J.P. Morgan.
Thank you.
2
00:00:25,887 --> 00:00:29,995
♪ Tell me why
I love you like I do
3
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:33,930
♪ Tell me who
can stop my heart
as much as you
4
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,863
♪ Let's take each other's hand
5
00:00:36,001 --> 00:00:39,901
♪ As we jump into
the final frontier
6
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,903
♪ I'm mad about you, baby
7
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,940
♪ Yeah! ♪
8
00:00:47,702 --> 00:00:49,221
That's what I like to hear
on a checkup,
9
00:00:49,359 --> 00:00:51,775
the pregnancy's
going very well.
10
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:53,363
I could've just told you
about this one on the phone.
11
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:54,537
You didn't
need to come.
12
00:00:54,675 --> 00:00:56,608
That's all right.
I like coming with you.
13
00:00:56,746 --> 00:00:58,920
Makes me feel like
I'm part of this thing.
14
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,543
Don't you anyway?
15
00:01:00,681 --> 00:01:02,510
Ah, well, frankly,
sometimes you and the baby
16
00:01:02,648 --> 00:01:03,994
get a little cliquish.
17
00:01:04,133 --> 00:01:05,168
[CHUCKLES]
18
00:01:07,308 --> 00:01:08,585
What?
19
00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:10,104
You know what
you're getting?
20
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:11,623
The glow.
21
00:01:11,761 --> 00:01:14,867
You're getting that...
That pregnant woman glow.
I am?
22
00:01:15,005 --> 00:01:16,490
Yeah. I think tonight
I may read by you.
23
00:01:16,628 --> 00:01:18,595
[LAUGHS]
24
00:01:18,733 --> 00:01:20,218
I'm getting more
than the glow.
25
00:01:20,356 --> 00:01:22,047
Pretty soon we have to
start telling people.
26
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:24,946
We will.
When?
27
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,914
When we said. You know,
a couple of months.
28
00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:28,088
Yeah, a couple
of months ago.
29
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:31,608
Well, then,
I guess now.
30
00:01:31,746 --> 00:01:33,023
Really?
We're telling people?
31
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,578
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
Oh, I don't know.
Are we?
32
00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:42,102
We're having
a baby.
33
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,620
[CHUCKLES]
34
00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:45,105
Well, congratulations.
35
00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:48,177
I guess we are.
36
00:01:52,042 --> 00:01:54,804
Oh, let it go.
She's a total stranger.
37
00:01:54,942 --> 00:01:56,046
Yeah, but
you don't know that.
38
00:01:56,185 --> 00:01:58,221
She could know
somebody we know.
39
00:01:58,359 --> 00:02:00,258
It's like that
Kevin Bacon game.
40
00:02:00,396 --> 00:02:03,709
What is that,
you drink a shot
every time he does something?
41
00:02:03,847 --> 00:02:05,297
No, that's Bob Newhart.
42
00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:07,886
Kevin Bacon...
43
00:02:08,024 --> 00:02:09,543
Kevin Bacon,
the game is
44
00:02:09,681 --> 00:02:11,959
you can connect any
movie star to Kevin Bacon
in three steps.
45
00:02:12,097 --> 00:02:13,202
Like Robin Williams?
46
00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:14,893
Robin Williams
was in Garp
47
00:02:15,031 --> 00:02:17,723
with John Lithgow,
who was in Footloose
with Kevin Bacon.
48
00:02:18,966 --> 00:02:20,140
Okay?
Marlon Brando.
49
00:02:20,278 --> 00:02:21,796
Marlon Brando
was in Superman
50
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:23,350
with Ned Beatty,
51
00:02:23,488 --> 00:02:25,731
who did Deliverance
with Burt Reynolds,
52
00:02:25,869 --> 00:02:27,457
who made Striptease
with Demi Moore,
53
00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,873
who did A Few Good Men
with Kevin Bacon.
54
00:02:31,496 --> 00:02:33,153
You have too much
time on your hands.
55
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:36,156
The point is if Marlon Brando
is four steps away
from Kevin Bacon,
56
00:02:36,294 --> 00:02:38,848
that woman could know
somebody that we know.
57
00:02:38,986 --> 00:02:40,953
They get to talking,
they realize they
both know us,
58
00:02:41,091 --> 00:02:42,403
she tells them
we're pregnant...
59
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,233
Boom,
our secret blown.
60
00:02:44,371 --> 00:02:46,235
I'll risk it.
61
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:49,790
Maybe I'm just upset
'cause you got to
tell the first person.
62
00:02:49,928 --> 00:02:52,482
You know what?
I'll call somebody.
I'll feel better.
63
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:55,244
No, no, no, no, no,
you can't just start
calling people up.
64
00:02:55,382 --> 00:02:58,212
Why not?
Because people are very funny
about this sort of thing.
65
00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,731
Do you remember when
your mom found out
66
00:02:59,869 --> 00:03:01,629
she wasn't the first person
to hear about our engagement?
67
00:03:02,665 --> 00:03:03,976
That was a rough
couple of years.
68
00:03:05,702 --> 00:03:07,187
We have to handle this
very carefully,
69
00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:10,328
or there could be
a lot of hurt feelings.
70
00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,433
I can't believe we got
all this food for one meal.
71
00:03:12,571 --> 00:03:13,745
It's Thanksgiving.
72
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:15,436
Hey, it's Thanksgiving.
73
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:16,713
Everybody's gonna be
over here anyway.
74
00:03:16,851 --> 00:03:18,474
Why don't we just
tell 'em then?
75
00:03:18,612 --> 00:03:20,579
See, now you're thinking.
That's very clever.
Nobody gets hurt.
76
00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:21,718
Exactly.
77
00:03:21,856 --> 00:03:23,651
Why Kevin Bacon anyway?
78
00:03:23,789 --> 00:03:26,206
Huh? Oh, apparently
they tried it with
Mickey Rourke.
79
00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:27,586
It didn't take.
80
00:03:32,108 --> 00:03:33,627
Oh, by the way, Paulie,
I'm, uh...
81
00:03:33,765 --> 00:03:35,801
I'm not gonna be able to
make it to Thanksgiving.
82
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:37,631
Why not?
83
00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:38,977
I have a date.
84
00:03:39,115 --> 00:03:40,220
On Thanksgiving?
85
00:03:40,358 --> 00:03:42,394
Yeah. What,
that makes me a pervert?
86
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,674
No, I'm not...
I'm not judging, it's just...
87
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:48,711
Bring her along.
88
00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,540
Ah, we got a big night
planned, Paulie.
89
00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:53,578
We got
the honeymoon suite
at the Pierre.
90
00:03:53,716 --> 00:03:54,682
Can you get out of it?
91
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,307
Yeah, I could.
If I was an idiot.
92
00:03:58,445 --> 00:04:00,343
[CHUCKLES]
93
00:04:00,481 --> 00:04:03,243
It's just that it would...
It would mean a lot
to Jamie and me.
94
00:04:03,381 --> 00:04:04,520
Yeah? Why?
95
00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:06,901
Well, you know,
it's Thanksgiving.
96
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:10,802
So what?
Paulie, you've had, like,
80 Thanksgivings in a row.
97
00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:13,322
Yeah, well, maybe there's...
There's a reason
98
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:15,600
that this one's
gonna be special.
99
00:04:15,738 --> 00:04:17,360
Oh, yeah?
Your family gonna be there?
100
00:04:17,498 --> 00:04:18,568
Sure.
101
00:04:18,706 --> 00:04:19,707
You gonna have turkey?
102
00:04:19,845 --> 00:04:21,019
Yeah.
103
00:04:21,157 --> 00:04:22,503
Well, you're right.
That does sound special.
104
00:04:24,678 --> 00:04:26,680
Maybe there's
some reason
105
00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:27,957
you don't want to
miss this one.
106
00:04:28,095 --> 00:04:29,234
Yeah?
What kind of reason?
107
00:04:30,718 --> 00:04:32,168
No reason. No reason.
Just...
108
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,412
You know what?
Come. Don't come.
I don't really care.
109
00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:36,690
Wait... Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
110
00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:38,105
You know what's strange?
111
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,762
Yeah. Having a date
on Thanksgiving.
112
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,004
No.
113
00:04:41,142 --> 00:04:42,385
For a year
you and James
114
00:04:42,523 --> 00:04:44,663
have talked about nothing
but trying to have a kid.
115
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:48,184
And then suddenly,
you stop talking
about it altogether,
116
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,737
and now there's
some special reason?
117
00:04:50,669 --> 00:04:51,705
So?
Well...
118
00:04:51,843 --> 00:04:52,947
What?
Please.
119
00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,190
What?
Just say it.
120
00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:55,329
Say what?
Come on.
121
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:56,606
Say what?
James and I...
122
00:04:56,744 --> 00:04:57,745
Are having
Thanksgiving...
Are pregnant.
123
00:04:57,883 --> 00:04:58,850
No, we're not.
Pregnant.
124
00:04:58,988 --> 00:05:00,230
No. No.
We're not...
125
00:05:00,369 --> 00:05:02,025
Yes, yes, okay!
We're pregnant.
126
00:05:03,717 --> 00:05:04,718
Really?
127
00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:05,891
Now, listen to me!
128
00:05:06,029 --> 00:05:07,997
You cannot tell
anybody about this.
129
00:05:08,135 --> 00:05:09,585
If Jamie finds out
I told you,
130
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:12,104
I swear my...
My kid will only
know me through stories.
131
00:05:12,242 --> 00:05:14,175
Why? What's the big deal?
You gonna tell people,
or aren't you?
132
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,661
Yes, but we just...
We don't want this
information to get out
133
00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:17,938
before it's supposed to.
134
00:05:18,076 --> 00:05:20,043
Information?
What information?
135
00:05:20,181 --> 00:05:21,355
That the, uh,
the Pierre
136
00:05:21,493 --> 00:05:23,806
is having a big
Thanksgiving thing.
Oh.
137
00:05:27,257 --> 00:05:29,190
You called Fran?
I called Fran.
138
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,192
All right.
This is gonna be
such a relief.
139
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,816
I don't know how much longer
either of us could
keep this a secret.
140
00:05:33,954 --> 00:05:36,750
Yeah, well, it's the
worst with your mom.
Ah, most things are.
141
00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:40,478
No, no, no. She is relentless.
I just have to avoid her
until the news is out.
142
00:05:40,616 --> 00:05:43,135
Well, you know,
if you did crack
and tell one person,
143
00:05:43,273 --> 00:05:44,689
I would...
I would really understand.
144
00:05:47,485 --> 00:05:48,865
No, no, no,
I won't.
145
00:05:49,003 --> 00:05:51,040
No, but really,
I wouldn't even be mad.
146
00:05:51,178 --> 00:05:52,386
It's not an issue.
147
00:05:52,524 --> 00:05:53,905
All right. Well,
just so you know.
148
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:56,114
And, like...
149
00:05:56,252 --> 00:05:57,287
You know, I'm sure if
I slipped and told somebody,
150
00:05:57,426 --> 00:05:58,427
I'm sure
you would understand.
151
00:06:00,325 --> 00:06:01,568
You didn't?
152
00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:02,707
No, no, no.
153
00:06:03,224 --> 00:06:04,260
Good.
154
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,402
Maybe Ira.
Paul!
155
00:06:08,540 --> 00:06:09,921
I didn't mean...
You weren't there.
156
00:06:10,059 --> 00:06:12,337
He was all over me.
It wasn't human.
Oh, God!
157
00:06:12,475 --> 00:06:13,442
Great.
158
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,720
So figure by now,
Ira's told Burt,
159
00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:17,687
who, God forbid,
has told Sylvia,
160
00:06:17,825 --> 00:06:19,586
who's probably
told Debbie...
161
00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:21,346
Told her boss, whose cousin
is Meryl Streep, who was
in The River Wildwith
162
00:06:21,484 --> 00:06:23,106
Kevin Bacon.
Kevin Bacon.
163
00:06:29,665 --> 00:06:31,218
PAUL: Ira.
Hey.
164
00:06:31,356 --> 00:06:33,220
Jamie and I have
something to ask you.
165
00:06:33,358 --> 00:06:35,015
If you tell a single soul,
I'll kill you.
166
00:06:36,119 --> 00:06:37,707
Really more of
a statement, actually.
167
00:06:37,845 --> 00:06:39,019
What are you talking about?
168
00:06:39,157 --> 00:06:40,538
Paul told me
he told you.
169
00:06:40,676 --> 00:06:42,332
Told me what?
170
00:06:42,471 --> 00:06:44,265
It's okay.
She knows.
171
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,577
Knows what?
172
00:06:45,715 --> 00:06:47,786
Ira, I know you know
I'm pregnant.
173
00:06:49,063 --> 00:06:50,824
James!
You're pregnant?
174
00:06:50,962 --> 00:06:52,619
Congratulations!
175
00:06:52,757 --> 00:06:54,241
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
176
00:06:54,379 --> 00:06:55,587
So you haven't
told anyone?
177
00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:58,003
Hey. Did I just
prove nothing to you?
178
00:06:58,141 --> 00:06:59,246
He's got a very
good point there.
179
00:06:59,384 --> 00:07:01,317
Really? No one?
No one.
180
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,699
Well, in the interest
of total honesty,
181
00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:05,839
I did tell one guy.
Oh, my God, who?
182
00:07:05,977 --> 00:07:08,773
Oh, relax.
He's completely outside
your sphere.
183
00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:10,326
Who did you tell?
184
00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:13,260
What? The guy who cuts
my hair on the corner.
Arturo?
185
00:07:13,398 --> 00:07:15,089
Yeah.
How'd you know?
186
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:17,471
I recommended him
to you!
187
00:07:17,609 --> 00:07:20,405
Oh.
Whoops.
188
00:07:20,543 --> 00:07:22,683
What are you doing,
going to Jamie's guy?
189
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:25,721
What? He's a magician.
Feel this.
I don't wanna feel it.
190
00:07:25,859 --> 00:07:28,655
Oh, my God.
Lisa recommended him to me.
191
00:07:28,793 --> 00:07:31,381
James,
let the information
flow naturally.
192
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,728
We're all adults here.
Yeah, right.
193
00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:34,039
No, we're adults,
194
00:07:34,177 --> 00:07:36,386
and you're a big, stupid,
secret-telling baby.
195
00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:38,319
Would you come on?
Huh?
196
00:07:42,013 --> 00:07:43,428
So she's telling me
how much her husband
loves her,
197
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:45,534
and I just
got through cutting
his girlfriend's hair.
198
00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:46,673
[BOTH LAUGHING]
199
00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,226
Arturo!
Jamie!
200
00:07:48,364 --> 00:07:49,952
Whatever you do,
don't say anything...
201
00:07:50,090 --> 00:07:51,298
Oh, my God.
Lisa.
202
00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:52,748
You guys
even get your
hair cut together?
203
00:07:52,886 --> 00:07:54,094
That's so
codependent.
204
00:07:54,232 --> 00:07:56,268
Jamie...
205
00:07:56,406 --> 00:07:58,167
Ira was talking all
about you this morning.
206
00:07:58,305 --> 00:07:59,858
Really?
What'd he say?
207
00:07:59,996 --> 00:08:01,964
Um, do you think that
we could talk to you
just for a minute?
208
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,380
Sure. Listen,
when is the...
Somewhere in private.
209
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,106
Please. Maybe.
210
00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:09,005
Jamie, if this is about
you dyeing your hair,
I already know.
211
00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,559
I don't dye my hair.
212
00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:13,320
[LAUGHING] Okay.
213
00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:14,804
Jamie,
you don't look any...
214
00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,116
Hey, Arturo,
215
00:08:16,254 --> 00:08:17,600
you know what
has always
fascinated me
216
00:08:17,738 --> 00:08:20,534
is the ethics
of a beauty parlor.
Mmm.
217
00:08:20,672 --> 00:08:22,778
You know,
I would imagine you
have very strict rules
218
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,504
about not
repeating
something
219
00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:25,988
you hear from
one client
to another.
220
00:08:26,126 --> 00:08:27,783
Are you kidding?
221
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:29,785
That's the only thing that
keeps me from shooting myself.
[LAUGHS]
222
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,582
Say the people whom
the thing was about came in
223
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:35,756
and specifically
asked you not to.
224
00:08:36,895 --> 00:08:37,965
Ah...
225
00:08:38,103 --> 00:08:40,450
This is about you two
having that baby!
226
00:08:40,589 --> 00:08:42,038
[LAUGHING]
227
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,730
What?
228
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,214
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Oh, my God!
229
00:08:45,352 --> 00:08:47,388
That is
so wonderful.
230
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,700
Oh, my God.
Good boy!
231
00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:50,564
[CHUCKLES]
232
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:53,533
Listen, the only reason
Arturo knew before you
was because Ira happened...
233
00:08:53,671 --> 00:08:54,948
You know what?
It doesn't even matter.
234
00:08:55,086 --> 00:08:56,466
Please, don't even
give it a second thought.
235
00:08:56,605 --> 00:08:57,916
Thank you.
236
00:08:58,054 --> 00:08:59,297
Hold it!
237
00:08:59,435 --> 00:09:02,058
Ira knew before I did?
238
00:09:02,196 --> 00:09:04,026
Yes.
You guys blow.
239
00:09:05,199 --> 00:09:06,546
You have to
do me a favor.
240
00:09:06,684 --> 00:09:08,133
You have to promise
not to tell this news
to anyone.
241
00:09:08,271 --> 00:09:09,928
Oh, okay.
Now, I mean it.
242
00:09:10,066 --> 00:09:11,309
Seriously.
243
00:09:11,447 --> 00:09:14,484
What? I can
keep a secret.
244
00:09:14,623 --> 00:09:16,763
Did you know that
Sanford wet his bed
up until college?
245
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:19,904
No, because I
can keep a secret.
246
00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:24,149
Lisa, you are going
to have to grow
as a person here.
247
00:09:24,287 --> 00:09:26,635
You can't tell a soul.
Promise me.
248
00:09:28,878 --> 00:09:29,845
Okay.
I promise.
249
00:09:29,983 --> 00:09:31,536
Thank you.
Thank you.
250
00:09:32,399 --> 00:09:33,538
Did you...
Excuse me.
251
00:09:33,676 --> 00:09:35,575
Did you
tell anybody?
252
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:39,061
I think I said something to
a guy who came in after Ira.
He was a car salesman.
253
00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:41,132
Do you remember
anything else
about him?
254
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,686
His scalp
was very dry.
255
00:09:43,824 --> 00:09:45,032
Do you remember
anything about him
256
00:09:45,170 --> 00:09:46,137
not pertaining
to his hair?
257
00:09:46,275 --> 00:09:47,310
His name?
258
00:09:47,448 --> 00:09:48,588
Uh...
Yes...
259
00:09:48,726 --> 00:09:50,175
Mel Slotkin.
260
00:09:50,313 --> 00:09:51,832
Mel Slotkin.
Mel Slotkin.
261
00:09:51,970 --> 00:09:53,834
Do we know
any car salesman
named Mel Slotkin?
262
00:09:53,972 --> 00:09:55,042
No.
All right.
263
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,699
So, you know what?
We'll let that one go.
264
00:09:56,837 --> 00:09:58,563
Hey, hey, hey,
who does your hair?
265
00:09:58,701 --> 00:09:59,978
Who... Why?
266
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:01,221
JAMIE: Hey!
267
00:10:01,359 --> 00:10:03,775
Ooh. Gotta go.
Who were you talking to?
268
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:06,260
Just Sanford.
Did you tell him?
269
00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,642
Uh-huh.
270
00:10:08,780 --> 00:10:10,610
What, you hold out
for 10 seconds?
271
00:10:10,748 --> 00:10:11,921
I couldn't help it.
272
00:10:12,059 --> 00:10:14,165
Well,
call him back.
Oh...
273
00:10:14,303 --> 00:10:15,545
You see this mousse?
Mmm-hmm.
274
00:10:15,684 --> 00:10:17,478
You put this in,
it disappears.
275
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,621
No one knows you wear it,
makes you look handsome,
people don't know why.
276
00:10:21,759 --> 00:10:23,277
Hey, honey? Listen...
277
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:26,246
You can't say a word about
what I just told you, okay?
Don't...
278
00:10:26,384 --> 00:10:29,525
Oh, my God.
That is so sweet.
279
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,872
Okay.
Guess what
Sanford just did.
280
00:10:32,010 --> 00:10:34,979
What?
Well, he called this
muzak station he listens to,
281
00:10:35,117 --> 00:10:36,428
you know, WDED,
282
00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:38,154
and he dedicated
a song to you.
283
00:10:38,292 --> 00:10:39,742
Oh, God, to us?
Yeah.
284
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,917
You're Having My Babyto Paul and Jamie Buchman
285
00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:43,608
Oh, my God!
286
00:10:43,746 --> 00:10:45,921
Great. So now
only people with
electricity will know.
287
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:47,577
Oh, God.
288
00:10:47,716 --> 00:10:49,614
Not to mention
they have to listen to
You're Having My Baby.
289
00:10:49,752 --> 00:10:51,547
Gimme that.
I'm gonna call the
station and stop it.
290
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,100
You probably
won't get through.
291
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,515
It's five blocks away.
I can be there
in five minutes.
292
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,655
Godspeed, woman.
293
00:10:58,002 --> 00:11:00,383
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait! [SIGHS]
294
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:01,764
James?
295
00:11:01,902 --> 00:11:03,628
Oh, for God's sake.
296
00:11:03,766 --> 00:11:05,526
Fran!
Hi!
297
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,838
I missed you.
298
00:11:10,566 --> 00:11:12,154
FEMALE DJ: [OVER RADIO]
Now here's an
old favorite of mine,
299
00:11:12,292 --> 00:11:14,950
and you know what it always
means when we play it.
300
00:11:15,088 --> 00:11:16,606
♪ Having my baby
301
00:11:18,401 --> 00:11:23,441
♪ What a lovely way of saying
What you're thinking of me
302
00:11:24,614 --> 00:11:26,547
♪ I can see it
303
00:11:27,652 --> 00:11:30,620
♪ Your face is glowing ♪
304
00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:32,415
Fran, we'll get together.
Right now...
I know.
305
00:11:32,553 --> 00:11:35,004
You're too busy.
You've been meaning to call.
There's no time.
306
00:11:35,142 --> 00:11:37,731
Look, if you're
tired of me, then just
do the humane thing.
307
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:39,250
Cut me loose
right now.
308
00:11:39,388 --> 00:11:41,217
Fran, you're my friend.
You're my best friend.
309
00:11:41,355 --> 00:11:43,254
But right now I've got to go,
I'm sorry!
310
00:11:45,049 --> 00:11:46,706
♪ I can see it
311
00:11:48,121 --> 00:11:49,812
♪ Your face is glowing
Hey!
312
00:11:49,950 --> 00:11:51,952
Hello! Hello!
313
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:53,436
♪ I can see it
314
00:11:53,574 --> 00:11:54,748
Hello!
315
00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:58,096
Hello! Hello!
316
00:11:58,234 --> 00:12:00,478
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
317
00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:02,480
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
318
00:12:02,618 --> 00:12:04,758
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
319
00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:09,452
♪ Having my baby ♪
320
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,523
That's You're
Having My Baby,
321
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:15,251
going out to Paul
and Jamie Buchman
from Sanford and Lisa.
322
00:12:15,389 --> 00:12:16,494
Congratulations.
323
00:12:16,632 --> 00:12:17,909
[SHRIEKING]
324
00:12:26,676 --> 00:12:28,126
Hiya, Pop.
Hi.
325
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:31,405
What did you do
to your hair?
326
00:12:32,130 --> 00:12:33,580
You like it?
327
00:12:33,718 --> 00:12:34,892
Well...
328
00:12:35,030 --> 00:12:36,307
Do you think I'm handsome,
but you don't know why?
329
00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:41,761
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
330
00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:44,315
That's what I'm goin' for.
Hey! You wanna play
poker tonight?
331
00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:47,732
Tonight? Oh,
you know what,
Poppy, I can't.
332
00:12:47,870 --> 00:12:48,906
Are you still playing
with the same guys?
333
00:12:49,044 --> 00:12:50,321
Yeah, you know,
same as usual.
334
00:12:50,459 --> 00:12:53,082
Miller, Bryant,
Slotkin, Campanella.
335
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,497
Slotkin?
336
00:12:54,635 --> 00:12:56,361
Yeah, Mel Slotkin.
Oh, he's a cheater.
337
00:12:58,191 --> 00:13:01,021
Mel Slotkin.
Does he have dry scalp?
338
00:13:01,159 --> 00:13:03,541
How the hell
would I know?
How would I know?
339
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,475
He's just a crooked
car dealer who wormed
his way into our game.
340
00:13:06,613 --> 00:13:07,959
He's a car dealer?
Yeah.
341
00:13:08,097 --> 00:13:09,754
You know what,
I think I will
stop by for a few hands.
342
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:11,411
Oh, good, good, good.
343
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,033
Okay.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING]
344
00:13:14,966 --> 00:13:16,209
Ira, shut up.
345
00:13:16,347 --> 00:13:18,659
Ira, who's watching
the register?
346
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,075
There's nobody here,
uncle Burt.
347
00:13:20,213 --> 00:13:22,974
Why don't you just put out
the "please rob me" sign?
348
00:13:24,942 --> 00:13:27,220
Hey, Paulie, James
get the flowers I sent?
349
00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:30,844
You sent her flowers?
Yeah.
350
00:13:30,982 --> 00:13:32,190
To the apartment?
351
00:13:32,328 --> 00:13:33,364
Yeah. Wait till
you see the card.
352
00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:34,917
It's a little
blue and pink and...
353
00:13:35,055 --> 00:13:37,299
Ira, Debbie's
in the apartment
right now making pies.
354
00:13:37,437 --> 00:13:40,405
So what?
So she'll read the card.
She'll know.
355
00:13:40,543 --> 00:13:42,200
Paulie, would you
just give it up?
356
00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:45,238
This is like a virus.
Information is spreading
all over the place.
357
00:13:45,376 --> 00:13:48,551
You know, there's a monkey
in Africa who knows
you're pregnant.
358
00:13:53,522 --> 00:13:54,488
Hi.
359
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:55,627
Oh, Paul.
360
00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,043
Make fun of my hair,
I'll slap ya.
361
00:13:57,181 --> 00:13:59,148
No. No, it's good.
362
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:00,563
Yeah, all right, good.
Whatever.
363
00:14:00,701 --> 00:14:02,980
Did we get any...
A package come
for Jamie or me?
364
00:14:03,118 --> 00:14:04,498
No. You were
expecting something?
365
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,121
Uh, no.
366
00:14:06,259 --> 00:14:08,433
Then why...
Just because we get
packages constantly.
367
00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:09,572
Shut up.
PAUL: Literally.
368
00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:11,022
Like the phrase,
"Did anything come?"
369
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,782
That's pretty much
replaced "hello"
around here.
370
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:14,957
Paul, are you
all right?
371
00:14:15,095 --> 00:14:16,338
Yes. Yes.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
372
00:14:16,476 --> 00:14:17,546
I just...
373
00:14:17,684 --> 00:14:18,996
Maybe a little
pre-Thanksgiving stress.
374
00:14:19,134 --> 00:14:20,445
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
375
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:22,551
I'm fine. Why?
Hello.
376
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:24,311
How could you?
377
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:26,520
How could I what?
What?
378
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,385
You two are having a baby,
and you didn't tell me.
379
00:14:29,523 --> 00:14:33,803
Oh, gee, uh, Theresa,
um, I'm so sorry.
380
00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:35,805
Sorry about what?
381
00:14:35,944 --> 00:14:37,117
How long have you known?
382
00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:38,636
Um, three...
383
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:39,775
Months?
384
00:14:40,258 --> 00:14:41,915
Yes.
385
00:14:42,053 --> 00:14:43,883
THERESA: [OVER PHONE]
Are you telling me
that all the time
386
00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:48,439
my marriage was crumbling
you knew this, and you
didn't even bother to tell me?
387
00:14:48,577 --> 00:14:50,544
I... You know...
THERESA: It's all right.
388
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:54,272
It was rather enjoyable
hearing about it on the radio.
389
00:14:54,410 --> 00:14:57,137
Again, I can only
apologize about that.
390
00:14:57,275 --> 00:14:59,312
My little girl
is having a baby.
391
00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:00,554
Oh!
392
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:01,693
[LAUGHS]
Uh, yeah.
393
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,143
Do you know what
that makes me?
394
00:15:03,281 --> 00:15:05,766
Yeah, that
makes you, um...
395
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,907
Um, one of those
women-people.
396
00:15:09,011 --> 00:15:10,461
You can say the word.
I don't mind.
397
00:15:10,599 --> 00:15:12,394
In fact I wanna hear it.
I wanna hear it.
398
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:13,982
Say it, Paul.
What word?
399
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,431
Well, you know...
400
00:15:15,569 --> 00:15:17,468
Well, it makes you a...
401
00:15:17,606 --> 00:15:19,056
[OVEN DINGS]
There's a pie.
402
00:15:19,194 --> 00:15:21,196
You know what?
I gotta go.
403
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:22,783
Okay. Bye.
404
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,509
Paul, what was
that about?
405
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:25,717
That...
That was nothing.
406
00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:27,581
Nothing?
That was nothing.
407
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:28,858
None
of your business.
408
00:15:28,997 --> 00:15:30,377
You're not gonna tell me?
PAUL: No.
409
00:15:30,515 --> 00:15:31,620
How can you not tell me?
410
00:15:31,758 --> 00:15:33,449
Because when you
need to know, you'll know.
411
00:15:33,587 --> 00:15:35,141
Fine. Fine.
412
00:15:35,279 --> 00:15:37,488
If that's the way you're
gonna be, that's fine.
413
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:39,076
Hey, Deb, I'm
a big boy now.
414
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:41,526
If I have a secret
I don't wanna tell ya,
you can't make me.
415
00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:45,116
Fine. But sisters
whose brothers
keep secrets from them
416
00:15:45,254 --> 00:15:47,049
don't help with
the Thanksgiving pies.
417
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:49,707
I didn't know
that was a rule.
418
00:15:49,845 --> 00:15:51,088
Hello.
419
00:15:51,226 --> 00:15:52,952
Yes.
Excuse me!
420
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:55,057
I believe
these are yours.
Thank you. I got it. Okay.
421
00:15:55,195 --> 00:15:56,956
Would you please have
your delivery people
422
00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:58,371
be more precise
in future?
423
00:15:58,509 --> 00:16:00,821
This exact same thing
happened in 1991
424
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:01,995
with that muffin basket.
425
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,307
Sorry about that.
Gimme the card.
426
00:16:03,445 --> 00:16:04,377
No!
Gimme that card.
427
00:16:04,515 --> 00:16:05,447
No.
Debbie, give it to me.
428
00:16:05,585 --> 00:16:06,758
What a wonderful
role model
429
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,381
you're going to be
for this child.
430
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:10,072
Child?
I'm afraid so.
431
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:16,527
I swear you and Ira are
the only ones who know.
432
00:16:16,665 --> 00:16:18,460
[COUGHS OSTENTATIOUSLY]
And her.
433
00:16:19,737 --> 00:16:23,223
Two things, one,
congratulations, Paulie.
434
00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:25,881
This is wonderful news.
I'm so happy I could cry.
435
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,262
[LAUGHS]
Thank you.
436
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,953
Two, you're
a son of a bitch.
437
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,094
Hey, Deb...
438
00:16:32,232 --> 00:16:33,993
What have you done
to your hair?
439
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:36,857
I'm so tired of you.
440
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:40,585
I haven't seen her
in forever,
441
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,760
and she just blows me off.
442
00:16:42,898 --> 00:16:44,658
What could've been
so important?
443
00:16:52,114 --> 00:16:53,840
I've set up the pizza
in the kitchen,
444
00:16:53,978 --> 00:16:55,531
which is exactly where
you'll be eating it
445
00:16:55,669 --> 00:16:57,671
because I don't want
stains on the carpet.
446
00:16:57,809 --> 00:16:59,501
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm leaving
447
00:16:59,639 --> 00:17:03,229
before the universe ends
from a woman being
at a poker game.
448
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:04,678
Let's eat.
449
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,473
Pizza?
I shouldn't.
450
00:17:06,611 --> 00:17:07,819
I got
an occlusion.
451
00:17:07,957 --> 00:17:10,339
You coming,
Slotkin?
Give me a minute.
452
00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:21,937
Sylvia. Sylvia...
453
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,939
Let me show you a picture
of my new grandson.
454
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,804
Oh,
he's beautiful.
455
00:17:26,942 --> 00:17:28,081
Yeah, isn't he?
456
00:17:28,219 --> 00:17:29,738
Yeah,
would you like
to see a picture
457
00:17:29,876 --> 00:17:31,050
of my
new grandson?
458
00:17:31,188 --> 00:17:32,741
Yeah.
So would I.
459
00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:37,573
Mom, hi.
Oh.
460
00:17:37,711 --> 00:17:39,610
Where you going?
I'm going to
your wife's house
461
00:17:39,748 --> 00:17:43,096
to help her prepare
the only Thanksgiving dinner
in America
462
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,236
without a kiddie table.
463
00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:47,514
All right,
but don't try and talk...
All right.
464
00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:50,517
Hi.
Hey.
465
00:17:50,655 --> 00:17:51,829
Is my dad
in there?
466
00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,279
You're Burt's son.
467
00:17:53,417 --> 00:17:55,108
The one having the baby.
468
00:17:55,246 --> 00:17:56,420
Mel Slotkin.
469
00:17:56,558 --> 00:17:57,938
Yeah.
Yeah, hi. Okay.
470
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,630
Listen...
About that, I would
really appreciate it
471
00:17:59,768 --> 00:18:01,287
if you didn't tell
my father about it.
472
00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:05,118
[SCOFFS] I wouldn't
give Burt the satisfaction.
473
00:18:05,256 --> 00:18:07,741
He and I have
a lot of bad blood.
474
00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:11,918
Well, whatever the motivation,
it's just that
475
00:18:12,056 --> 00:18:13,506
we're not really
telling people yet,
476
00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:15,680
so I think he would be hurt
if he found out from...
477
00:18:15,818 --> 00:18:17,406
Oh, if it
will hurt him...
478
00:18:17,544 --> 00:18:19,788
Excuse me.
Wait, wait wait.
Wait a second.
479
00:18:19,926 --> 00:18:21,307
You can't tell him.
480
00:18:21,445 --> 00:18:23,447
Yes, I can.
481
00:18:23,585 --> 00:18:25,311
Right, I grant you
that physically you can.
482
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:26,484
I'm just saying...
483
00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:28,176
Come on. Morally?
[SCOFFS]
484
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:29,729
Ethically?
485
00:18:31,317 --> 00:18:32,801
I'll pay you
not to.
How much?
486
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:34,941
50 bucks?
A hundred.
487
00:18:35,838 --> 00:18:36,943
75.
488
00:18:37,081 --> 00:18:39,221
For 75, I drop hints.
489
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,189
All right, fine.
Okay, here. 100 bucks.
490
00:18:42,845 --> 00:18:45,607
Well, look who's here.
Slotkin, this is
my boy Paulie.
491
00:18:45,745 --> 00:18:47,333
Yes, we've met.
492
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:50,129
Dad, Dad, listen,
uh, it turns out
I can't play
493
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:51,268
'cause I gotta run home,
494
00:18:51,406 --> 00:18:52,683
gotta stop
a big thing.
495
00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:00,208
Is it that you
don't want kids?
496
00:19:00,346 --> 00:19:01,795
No, we do.
497
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,591
Because I have to say,
that is a very
selfish attitude.
498
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:06,524
We want them.
We plan to have them.
499
00:19:06,662 --> 00:19:07,939
Plan? Plan when?
500
00:19:08,077 --> 00:19:10,390
Soon.
"Soon."
Three months soon?
501
00:19:10,528 --> 00:19:12,151
Ten years?
Soon soon.
502
00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:13,807
So you'll never
have a child.
503
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:15,775
That is a choice
you can make.
504
00:19:15,913 --> 00:19:17,259
That won't happen.
505
00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:19,779
My son
will die childless.
506
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:21,332
But the important
thing is,
507
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,990
you will have had a lot
of nice dinners out.
508
00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:25,785
All right, Sylvia.
509
00:19:25,923 --> 00:19:27,545
I know I'm gonna regret this,
but the truth is...
510
00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:28,684
No, wait.
Don't. Don't. Don't.
511
00:19:28,822 --> 00:19:30,652
Don't what?
512
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:31,929
Put marshmallows
in the yams.
513
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,554
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
514
00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:39,074
[CRYING]
Joan, what's wrong?
515
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,213
Oh, nothing.
516
00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,077
Well, you don't cry
over nothing.
517
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,217
I was on my way up
to see Paul and Jamie.
518
00:19:44,355 --> 00:19:46,633
Uh, Debbie and I had
our first big fight.
519
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:47,945
Over what?
520
00:19:48,083 --> 00:19:49,947
Well, I knew something,
and I didn't tell her.
521
00:19:50,085 --> 00:19:52,363
It's not good
to have secrets.
What was it?
522
00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:54,814
[CLICKS TONGUE]
523
00:19:54,952 --> 00:19:57,334
Where I come from,
they call this
524
00:19:57,472 --> 00:19:59,267
a straight flush.
525
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,200
[GROANS]
526
00:20:01,683 --> 00:20:02,822
[LAUGHS]
527
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,686
Your son's having a kid.
528
00:20:09,622 --> 00:20:12,314
[PAUL TAPPING ON WINE GLASS]
PAUL: Everybody, can I
have your attention, please?
529
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:13,936
We have a little
announcement to make.
530
00:20:14,074 --> 00:20:15,283
I wonder what
that could be.
531
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:16,905
Oh, what?
You're buying
a new house.
532
00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:18,562
All right.
All right.
533
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:19,942
Paul and I
534
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,186
are having a baby.
535
00:20:22,324 --> 00:20:23,877
Yeah, yeah,
good for you.
536
00:20:27,812 --> 00:20:29,089
Hey, could we eat now?
537
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,299
Hey, hey, come on,
this is big news.
538
00:20:31,437 --> 00:20:33,646
It's not big news.
It's old news.
539
00:20:33,784 --> 00:20:35,889
You handled this
very badly.
540
00:20:36,027 --> 00:20:37,960
Oh, come on,
let's not worry about
who found out when.
541
00:20:38,098 --> 00:20:39,445
Oh. Oh, easy for
you to say.
542
00:20:39,583 --> 00:20:40,791
You knew
before they did.
543
00:20:40,929 --> 00:20:43,207
PAUL: Uh, all right,
all right, look,
544
00:20:43,345 --> 00:20:45,589
admittedly we didn't
do the best job
545
00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:47,487
of making
this public, but...
546
00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:48,661
Come on.
We're new at this.
547
00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:50,732
You know, maybe next time
we'll do better.
548
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:54,218
But regardless of who
here found out first,
549
00:20:54,356 --> 00:20:56,841
the important thing
is that you,
550
00:20:56,979 --> 00:20:59,119
our family,
our friends,
551
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:02,606
the people closest to us
in the world,
552
00:21:02,744 --> 00:21:05,471
you are the only
people on the planet
553
00:21:05,609 --> 00:21:06,989
who know this information.
554
00:21:09,613 --> 00:21:11,097
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
555
00:21:14,445 --> 00:21:15,895
Just a second.
556
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,105
Is this Hal and
Maggie's apartment?
557
00:21:19,243 --> 00:21:20,831
Uh, no, actually,
they're across the hall.
558
00:21:20,969 --> 00:21:22,315
I know you!
559
00:21:22,453 --> 00:21:24,248
You're the couple
from the elevator.
560
00:21:24,386 --> 00:21:25,491
Hey, Kev,
561
00:21:25,629 --> 00:21:27,424
these are the people
I was telling you about.
562
00:21:27,562 --> 00:21:29,115
Oh, yeah!
563
00:21:33,775 --> 00:21:35,224
How you doing?
564
00:21:35,363 --> 00:21:37,157
I hear you're having
a baby. That's great.
565
00:21:45,096 --> 00:21:46,581
Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
566
00:21:52,828 --> 00:21:55,314
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
567
00:21:56,522 --> 00:21:57,557
[HOOTING]
568
00:21:59,973 --> 00:22:02,666
[CHITTERING]
569
00:22:02,804 --> 00:22:04,461
[SCREECHING]
570
00:22:06,048 --> 00:22:07,498
[CHITTERING]
571
00:22:11,813 --> 00:22:13,124
[HOOTING]
572
00:22:13,262 --> 00:22:14,919
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
573
00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,994
[CHIMPANZEE HOOTING]
574
00:22:28,485 --> 00:22:29,900
[SCREECHING]
575
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,630
[CHIMPANZEE HOOTING]
576
00:22:36,389 --> 00:22:38,667
[CHIMPANZEE SCREECHING]
41060
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