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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:07,000 MM... 2 00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:11,667 MMM... 3 00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:15,334 OW, OW, OW. 4 00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:25,000 MM... 5 00:00:36,434 --> 00:00:38,634 * TELL ME WHY... * 6 00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:40,133 * I LOVE YA LIKE I DO * 7 00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,100 * TELL ME WHO... * 8 00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,434 * CAN STOP MY HEART AS MUCH AS YOU * 9 00:00:44,434 --> 00:00:46,200 * LET'S TAKE EACH OTHER'S HAND * 10 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:49,434 * AS WE JUMP INTO THE FINAL FRONTIER * 11 00:00:50,501 --> 00:00:53,234 * MAD ABOUT YOU, BABY * 12 00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:54,534 * YEAH ** 13 00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,767 WE'LL ZIP OVER TO 8th STREET FOR THE DRY CLEANERS, 14 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,200 WE'LL SWING OVER TO 6th FOR THE SHIRTS, 15 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,334 JUMP OVER TO UNION SQUARE FOR GROCERIES, 16 00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:08,567 THEN WE'LL, UH... 17 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:09,701 SCOOT. 18 00:01:09,701 --> 00:01:11,567 SCOOT. THANKS. 19 00:01:11,567 --> 00:01:13,367 WE'LL SCOOT TO 14th STREET FOR THE SHOE GUY. 20 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,334 GLAD IT'S THE WEEKEND? 21 00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:17,601 WELCOME TO LIFE IN THE BIG CITY-- 22 00:01:17,601 --> 00:01:19,968 WORK ALL WEEK LIKE A DOG-- 23 00:01:19,968 --> 00:01:22,234 [WOOF] THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH-- 24 00:01:22,234 --> 00:01:25,701 SO SATURDAY YOU CAN CARRY YOUR PANTS FOR 30 BLOCKS. 25 00:01:25,701 --> 00:01:28,601 WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE MAKE A GROCERY LIST. 26 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:31,167 COME ON. WE'LL JUST GO. WE'LL PERUSE. 27 00:01:31,167 --> 00:01:32,434 THAT'S HOW WE GET INTO TROUBLE. 28 00:01:32,434 --> 00:01:33,467 WHAT TROUBLE? 29 00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:35,267 HEARTS OF PALM? 30 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:38,000 I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT THAT WAS. 31 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,601 WRITE DOWN MILK. 32 00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:41,167 MILK. GOT TO HAVE MILK. 33 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,534 COOKIES. 34 00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,834 GOES RIGHT WITH THE MILK. 35 00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:45,100 CHICKEN. 36 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,534 HEY, HOW ABOUT VEAL? 37 00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,200 NEVER, NEVER, NEVER VEAL. 38 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:50,167 BECAUSE IT'S SO CRUEL HOW THEY RAISE THEM. 39 00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,267 THAT'S RIGHT. 40 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,033 CHICKENS--WHAT, DO YOU THINK THEY TAKE THEM DANCING FIRST? 41 00:01:55,033 --> 00:01:56,934 WRITE DOWN EGGS. 42 00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:59,167 WHICH COMES FIRST, CHICKEN OR EGGS? 43 00:01:59,167 --> 00:02:00,534 YOU WANT TO DO THIS? 44 00:02:00,534 --> 00:02:02,267 I'M WRITING "EGGS." [TELEPHONE RINGS] 45 00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:04,400 HELLO. 46 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,534 HI, SYLVIA. 47 00:02:07,534 --> 00:02:09,033 REALLY? 48 00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:10,067 NOONISH. 49 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:11,200 NO. 50 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,167 O.K., WE'LL BE THERE. BYE-BYE. 51 00:02:14,167 --> 00:02:15,901 UNLESS POSSIBLY YES. 52 00:02:15,901 --> 00:02:16,868 SHE'S HAVING A THING. 53 00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:17,868 A THING? 54 00:02:17,868 --> 00:02:19,000 A LUNCH. 55 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,834 WE HAVE NO TIME. 56 00:02:20,834 --> 00:02:23,334 WE GOT SCOOTING, WE GOT ZIPPING, 57 00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,567 AT SOME POINT, I HAVE TO CALL MY EDITOR. 58 00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:27,300 I HAVE TO LISTEN TO SALMON. 59 00:02:29,133 --> 00:02:30,400 I'M SORRY? 60 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,367 FOR THAT FISH MOVIE. 61 00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:35,234 DID YOU KNOW SALMON ACTUALLY SING TO EACH OTHER? 62 00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,000 WHAT--WHAT DO THEY SING? 63 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,300 IRONICALLY, SHOW TUNES. 64 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,934 WELL, SHE NEEDS A PLATE WE BORROWED. 65 00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:44,067 A PLATE? A DISH. 66 00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,367 A DISH? 67 00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,267 ARE YOU 90 YEARS OLD? 68 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,400 A FARBERWARE DISH. SHE NEEDS IT BACK. 69 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,200 OH, ARE YOU BLIND. 70 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,901 WHAT? 71 00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:55,501 MY MOTHER HAS, LIKE, 6,000 FARBERWARE DISHES. 72 00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:57,467 FARBER CALLS HER FOR DISHES. 73 00:02:57,467 --> 00:03:00,334 THIS IS--THIS IS A TRICK. 74 00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,200 I WANT TO SEE HER. SO WHAT? 75 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,934 EXCUSE ME? 76 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,167 SHE'S GOING TO BE OUR CHILDREN'S GRANDMOTHER. 77 00:03:06,167 --> 00:03:08,501 I'D LIKE TO TRY TO CULTIVATE SOME SORT OF RELATIONSHIP. 78 00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:10,901 CAN WE CULTIVATE ANOTHER DAY? 79 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:13,133 WE'RE IN SERIOUS ERRAND-RUNNING TROUBLE. 80 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:16,167 I'M DOWN TO A THONG AND TUBE SOCKS. 81 00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,200 I BELIEVE THAT'S MY THONG. 82 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,067 THEN I'M DOWN TO A PAIR OF TUBE SOCKS. 83 00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,701 YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER? 84 00:03:23,701 --> 00:03:25,601 I VERY MUCH CARE. 85 00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,300 BUT I ALSO KNOW THE REALITY OF THE SITUATION. 86 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,367 NOBODY CULTIVATES A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER. 87 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,667 EITHER SHE CULTIVATES YOU, 88 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:33,667 OR YOU JUST DON'T PLANT ANYTHING THAT YEAR. 89 00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:35,901 I'M NOT BELIEVING THAT. 90 00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:37,501 OH, YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW. 91 00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:39,801 COME ON. WE'LL WHIZ TO 23rd STREET 92 00:03:39,801 --> 00:03:41,200 AFTER HOPPING OVER TO 6th. 93 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,033 MURRAY, COME ON. 94 00:03:43,033 --> 00:03:44,901 [WOOF] LOBBY FULL OF POODLES. 95 00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:46,634 WHY DO YOU LIE TO HIM? 96 00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:48,100 WHAT? 97 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,601 WHAT DO WE LIKE? 98 00:03:56,601 --> 00:03:58,734 "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER" 99 00:03:58,734 --> 00:04:00,734 OR "YOU'RE A JACKASS IF YOU THINK IT'S MARGARINE"? 100 00:04:00,734 --> 00:04:02,534 NOT ON THE LIST. 101 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,133 SUCH CONFIDENCE IN THAT LIST. 102 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,167 THAT'S RIGHT. 103 00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:06,968 ME, I GO ON HUNCHES. 104 00:04:06,968 --> 00:04:08,133 FORGET IT. 105 00:04:08,133 --> 00:04:10,133 IT'S 100 CONES. 106 00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,968 YOU FORGOT THE LIST, DIDN'T YOU? 107 00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,167 MAYBE I DID... 108 00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,467 DOG FOOD. 109 00:04:14,467 --> 00:04:16,200 HE HATES THIS DRY STUFF. 110 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,300 IT'S LOW SODIUM. 111 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,534 WHAT'S IT MEAN WHEN YOUR DOG 112 00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,901 AND YOUR FATHER ARE ON THE SAME DIET? 113 00:04:22,901 --> 00:04:25,100 SOON, MURRAY WILL BE WEARING WHITE PANTS. 114 00:04:25,100 --> 00:04:26,100 FUNNY. 115 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,100 YAMS. 116 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,667 YAMS. 117 00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:30,901 I THINK I'LL TELL SYLVIA TODAY. 118 00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:32,133 OH, DON'T. 119 00:04:32,133 --> 00:04:33,567 WHY NOT? 120 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:35,968 WHY WOULD-- WHY START TROUBLE? 121 00:04:35,968 --> 00:04:38,501 SHE SHOULD KNOW WE'RE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. 122 00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:40,167 WHY SHARE THAT WITH PEOPLE? 123 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:42,801 IT'S NOT "PEOPLE." IT'S FAMILY. 124 00:04:42,801 --> 00:04:45,000 WELL, WHY NOT-- LET'S WAIT TILL WE'RE PREGNANT. 125 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,868 WE CAN PRESENT IT AS A DONE DEAL. 126 00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:49,667 "HEY, EVERYBODY, NOT ONLY ARE WE TRYING... 127 00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:50,868 WE'RE SUCCEEDING." 128 00:04:50,868 --> 00:04:54,601 I THINK SHE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW. 129 00:04:54,601 --> 00:04:57,267 WHAT'S YOUR BIG FANTASY THERE? 130 00:04:57,267 --> 00:05:01,534 YOU THINK SHE'S GOING TO GIVE YOU A BIG HUG AND BE YOUR BEST FRIEND? 131 00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:03,200 NO. 132 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,434 YOU THINK SHE'LL GIVE YOU A BIG HUG-- 133 00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:08,033 WHAT IS WRONG WITH A BIG HUG? 134 00:05:08,033 --> 00:05:10,033 IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. 135 00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:12,067 I SAY THIS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. 136 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:13,567 FINE. 137 00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:15,934 REALLY FINE OR KISS-MY-ASS FINE? 138 00:05:15,934 --> 00:05:16,934 REALLY FINE. 139 00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:18,300 ALL...RIGHT. 140 00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,868 YOU O.K. THERE, TIGER? 141 00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,734 NEVER HAD MORE FUN THAN THIS. 142 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,367 HEY. HEY. HEY. 143 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:31,367 HEY... 144 00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,000 [WOOF] MURRAY SAYS "HEY." 145 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,801 WHAT, YOU RUNNING ERRANDS? 146 00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:37,567 NO. WE'RE BEDOUINS NOW. 147 00:05:37,567 --> 00:05:39,334 WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS STUFF? 148 00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:40,567 WHAT'S GOING ON? 149 00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:41,968 YOUR MOTHER-- 150 00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:44,000 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 151 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,400 OH, GOOD. YOU'RE HERE. 152 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,634 WE BROUGHT YOUR DISH. 153 00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:48,067 WHAT DISH? 154 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:50,400 SEE WHY IT'S FOOLISH TO EVER DOUBT ME? 155 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:51,968 OH, THE DISH. I FORGOT. 156 00:05:51,968 --> 00:05:52,968 THANK YOU. 157 00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:54,467 YEAH, O.K. 158 00:05:54,467 --> 00:05:56,234 WHAT'S GOING ON. WHAT'S THE TRICK? 159 00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:57,701 THERE'S NO TRICK. 160 00:05:57,701 --> 00:05:59,267 THANK GOD--THE DISH. 161 00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:02,968 WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? 162 00:06:02,968 --> 00:06:05,133 NO TRICK. 163 00:06:05,133 --> 00:06:06,868 I WAS LISTENING TO TELEVISION. YOU KNOW MARTHA STEWART? 164 00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:08,534 VERY STURDY GIRL. 165 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:10,033 ISN'T SHE GREAT? 166 00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,934 SHE COULD USE A STIFF DRINK. 167 00:06:12,934 --> 00:06:15,167 BUT SHE HAD AN INTERESTING THING FOR ME. 168 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,534 FOR YOU? 169 00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,767 SHE SUGGESTED I SHOULD GATHER THE FAMILY 170 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:21,467 AND DECIDE WHO WILL GET WHAT OF MINE 171 00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:22,901 AFTER I GO OVER. 172 00:06:22,901 --> 00:06:24,534 GO OVER? 173 00:06:24,534 --> 00:06:26,167 PASS ON. 174 00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:29,267 YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PASS ON. YOU'RE GOING TO DIE. 175 00:06:29,267 --> 00:06:31,334 ANYWAY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE. 176 00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:32,901 IS SOMETHING GOING ON? 177 00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:34,567 NO, NO. I FIGURE 30 YEARS. 178 00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,067 NO WAITING TILL THE LAST MINUTE. 179 00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,701 EXACTLY. 180 00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,734 YOU TRICKED US. 181 00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:40,334 I TRICKED YOU. 182 00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:42,434 SO YOU'RE A BIG DETECTIVE. 183 00:06:42,434 --> 00:06:44,501 CAN WE GO NOW? 184 00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:46,100 NO. 185 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,734 I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA. 186 00:06:47,734 --> 00:06:49,133 GOOD, HONEY. 187 00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,133 LOOK, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. 188 00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:54,400 MARTHA TOLD ME IT WOULD PREVENT FIGHTS AFTER I'M GONE. 189 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,634 WHAT WOULD YOU CARE? YOU'LL BE GONE. 190 00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:58,534 MAYBE YOU COME BACK. 191 00:06:58,534 --> 00:07:00,834 IF I'M GOING TO BE REINCARNATED, 192 00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:03,601 I DON'T WANT AGGRAVATION ON TOP OF IT. 193 00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,300 IT WOULDN'T BE A PICNIC FOR US, EITHER. 194 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,100 DON'T BE CUTE. 195 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,501 PAUL, BLUE STICKERS ARE FOR YOU, 196 00:07:09,501 --> 00:07:12,734 UH, YELLOW ARE FOR DEBBIE, 197 00:07:12,734 --> 00:07:16,267 AND RED IS FOR SHARON, ORANGE IS FOR IRA, 198 00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,567 AND HERE'S A COUPLE FOR HER. 199 00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:20,167 MAYBE SHE'LL FIND SOMETHING RUSTIC. 200 00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:21,334 THANK YOU. 201 00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,367 YOU'RE WELCOME. 202 00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,234 MM, WHAT A GOOD CHIN. 203 00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,667 ISN'T HER CHIN NICE? 204 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,167 SHE'S A DELIGHT. 205 00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:29,334 O.K., NOW CAN WE GO? 206 00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:30,567 IT'LL MAKE HER HAPPY. 207 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:31,868 FOR HOW LONG? 208 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:33,400 45 MINUTES. 209 00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,634 O.K. 45 MINUTES OF HAPPY. 210 00:07:35,634 --> 00:07:37,868 SHE CARRIED YOU FOR NINE MONTHS. 211 00:07:37,868 --> 00:07:40,567 OH, I PAID THAT BACK YEARS AGO. 212 00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:41,901 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 213 00:07:41,901 --> 00:07:44,200 I'LL GET IT. IT'S SHARON. 214 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,934 SHE KNOWS WHO IT IS BY THE RING. 215 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,300 USED TO SCARE ME. NOW I THINK IT'S CUTE. 216 00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,267 HI, PAULIE. 217 00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,501 YOU, TOO? 218 00:07:51,501 --> 00:07:53,100 I CALLED TO WARN YOU. 219 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,267 HOW DID WE BOTH WALTZ INTO THIS TRAP? 220 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:56,367 HELLO. 221 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,400 HI, SHARON. 222 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,467 FIRST OF ALL, 223 00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,367 EVERYTHING TAGGED OVER THE PHONE DOESN'T COUNT. 224 00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:02,934 NO FIGHTING. 225 00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:04,634 WE'RE NOT FIGHTING. HERE'S WHY-- 226 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,334 WE NEVER DISCUSSED THIS. 227 00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:09,033 ONE WEEKEND IN THE FALL 228 00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:11,601 YOU WAKE UP AND DECIDE YOU'RE INHERITING MOM'S CHINA? 229 00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:13,901 STOP BEING SO HARD ON HER. 230 00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,567 STOP SPOILING HER. 231 00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:17,467 WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. 232 00:08:17,467 --> 00:08:19,167 FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHE'S SEPARATED. 233 00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:20,934 BECAUSE SHE'S SPOILED. 234 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,634 STEVE ALWAYS COMPLAINED HOW SHE SULKED. 235 00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:26,434 WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. 236 00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,601 THAT STEVE IS NO PRIZE. 237 00:08:28,601 --> 00:08:30,334 NO ONE WE MARRY'S A PRIZE. 238 00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:31,934 NOT A FIRST PRIZE. 239 00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,868 IF SHE WANTS SOMETHING, 240 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:37,567 LET HER GET HER BIG ASS OUT OF BED AND GET IT. 241 00:08:37,567 --> 00:08:39,367 YES, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU. 242 00:08:40,934 --> 00:08:44,334 SEE, WITH MOM'S PLAN, THERE'S NO FRICTION, NO FIGHTING. 243 00:08:44,334 --> 00:08:45,334 HOW YA DOIN', DEB? 244 00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:46,300 GREAT. 245 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,334 CAN I TELL HER? 246 00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:50,534 WHAT? WHAT? 247 00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:51,834 YOU KNOW. THE THING. 248 00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,133 THE PERSONAL THING? 249 00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,100 THE BIG SENSITIVE THING THAT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS YET? 250 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,367 GO AHEAD. 251 00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,334 PAUL AND I ARE TRYING. 252 00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:00,300 YOU'RE KIDDING! 253 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,567 OH, GOOD FOR YOU. 254 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,634 IT'S ABOUT TIME. 255 00:09:04,634 --> 00:09:06,234 I'M THINKING OF TELLING YOUR MOTHER. 256 00:09:06,234 --> 00:09:07,234 WHY? 257 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,601 WHAT, NOBODY TAGGED THE COUCH YET? 258 00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,701 I'M NOT SURE THIS COUCH IS REALLY "US." 259 00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:15,734 IT COULD BE US. 260 00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:18,467 THE WAY YOU DECORATE, NOTHING DOESN'T GO. 261 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:19,767 WHAT DO THEY CALL THAT? 262 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,033 ECLECTIC. 263 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,734 SHE MEANT THAT GOOD. 264 00:09:24,734 --> 00:09:26,334 BUT WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 265 00:09:26,334 --> 00:09:28,367 IT'S A NICE COUCH. 266 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:31,968 IF YOU'RE IN FRED SANFORD'S HOUSE. 267 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:34,968 WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT COLOR THIS COUCH IS. 268 00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:37,133 SHE'S GOT THREE GENERATIONS OF SLIP COVERS ON THERE. 269 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,901 YOU CAN TELL WHAT DECADE SOMETHING'S FROM 270 00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,634 BY WHAT SLIP COVER IT'S BETWEEN. 271 00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:43,334 LIKE RINGS OF A TREE. 272 00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:45,133 HEY, MURRAY'S NOT EATING. 273 00:09:45,133 --> 00:09:46,334 IT'S LOW SODIUM. 274 00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,267 OH. 275 00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:52,300 HOW ABOUT A LITTLE PLAIN SLICED CHICKEN, HUH? 276 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,968 YA PUT A LITTLE LEMON ON IT, IT'S NOT SO TERRIBLE. 277 00:09:56,968 --> 00:09:59,367 I'M WATCHING THE SUNSHINE BOYS HERE. 278 00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:00,501 HEY. 279 00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:02,400 YOU'RE LATE. I GOT COFFEE. 280 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,067 YOU BOUGHT COFFEE? YEAH. 281 00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:06,434 I HAVE COFFEE. NOW YOU HAVE MORE. 282 00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:07,767 DON'T BE CUTE. 283 00:10:07,767 --> 00:10:09,901 HEY, DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? 284 00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,434 I LOVE MARTHA STEWART. 285 00:10:11,434 --> 00:10:12,567 WHAT? 286 00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,167 SHE'S CUTE, AND SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING. 287 00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,467 LOOK AT THESE. 288 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:18,968 OH, BOY. 289 00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:21,901 YOUR LITTLE FEET FIT RIGHT IN HERE? 290 00:10:21,901 --> 00:10:23,467 THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T WALK UNTIL I WAS 7 1/2. 291 00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,467 THOSE ARE NOT TAGGABLE. 292 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:30,000 OKEY-DOKEY. 293 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,734 HOW ABOUT THIS BEAUTY? 294 00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,701 WHAT'S THAT? 295 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,734 THIS IS HOW THEY USED TO FEED THE MILLS BROTHERS. 296 00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,300 WHO WANTS THIS SHAMPOO? 297 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,367 HUH? 298 00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:39,801 SHAMPOO? 299 00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:41,367 DAD, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN, 300 00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:44,267 I THINK MARTHA INTENDED THE BIG ITEMS TO GO. 301 00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,000 NEVER OPENED, FROM THE HYATT. 302 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,200 WHICH I THINK--NO. 303 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,300 DON'T LOOK AT ME. THIS WASN'T MY IDEA. 304 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:51,534 HEY, DID MURRAY EAT? 305 00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:52,934 OH, LIKE AN ANIMAL. 306 00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:54,601 SAY, I WANT TO TALK. 307 00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:57,167 CAN IT WAIT? I GOT TO CALL MY EDITOR. 308 00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,133 I HAVE TO LISTEN TO AN AUDIO TRACK. 309 00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:00,701 A WHAT? 310 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:04,601 A TRACK. IN THIS CASE, IT'S SALMON THAT, LIKE, SING. 311 00:11:04,601 --> 00:11:06,834 SMOKED SALMON? 312 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,167 IT'S--I'M GOING TO USE THE PHONE FOR A SECOND. 313 00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:11,567 I GOT US COFFEE. 314 00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:13,234 MORE COFFEE? OH, JEEZ... 315 00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:15,434 WHO BUYS COFFEE? TAKE IT. 316 00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:16,801 YOU GET THE SALAMI? YEAH. 317 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,300 AH, GREAT. 318 00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,000 HEY. NO SALT. [DOG BARKS] 319 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,834 HEY, MURRAY, NO SALT. 320 00:11:24,067 --> 00:11:25,667 I'LL GET THAT. COME HERE. 321 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,067 WHAT DID WE SAY? MURRAY, DROP THAT. 322 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,300 HOW YOU DOING, BURT? 323 00:11:30,601 --> 00:11:33,000 IN THE END, YOU KNOW WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO? 324 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,133 WE BUY TOO MUCH CRAP. 325 00:11:35,133 --> 00:11:39,534 I, UM, KIND OF WANTED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 326 00:11:39,534 --> 00:11:41,467 TELL ME SOMETHING? 327 00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,467 PAUL AND I ARE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY. 328 00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:45,834 YOU'RE KIDDING. 329 00:11:45,834 --> 00:11:47,801 HOW MUCH DO YOU NEED? 330 00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:49,300 NO, NO. WE'RE FINE. 331 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,133 YOU SURE? I'M SURE. 332 00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:53,067 I WANT TO TAKE HIM TO THE ZOO. 333 00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,801 WHAT IF HE'S A SHE? 334 00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,734 I'LL--I'LL TAKE THEM BOTH, 335 00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:57,901 THEN WE'LL HAVE ICE CREAM. 336 00:11:57,901 --> 00:11:59,133 THAT'D BE GREAT. 337 00:11:59,133 --> 00:12:00,534 UNLESS ICE CREAM'S BAD-- 338 00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:01,767 NO. A LITTLE'S O.K. 339 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:03,000 A LITTLE IS PLENTY. 340 00:12:05,501 --> 00:12:07,767 I'M THINKING OF TELLING SYLVIA. 341 00:12:07,767 --> 00:12:08,901 WHY? 342 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,300 WHAT IS WITH YOU? 343 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,901 WHAT? 344 00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:19,400 HOW STUPID IS IT THAT YOU'RE HERE? 345 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,000 WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT? 346 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,000 A SCARF. 347 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,667 A SCARF. 348 00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:26,534 A FANCY SCARF WITH A COACH AND HORSES. 349 00:12:26,534 --> 00:12:28,534 IT'S FOR MY MA. 350 00:12:28,534 --> 00:12:31,033 YOU CHEAP BASTARD. BUY HER SOMETHING. 351 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:34,200 SHE THINKS SHE LEFT IT HERE. 352 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,801 ACTUALLY, SHE THINKS SYLVIA BORROWED IT AND NEVER RETURNED IT. 353 00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:38,534 WHEN WAS THIS? 354 00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,601 I DON'T KNOW. 355 00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:43,300 SUPPOSEDLY HAPPY ROCKEFELLER TRIPPED ON IT AT A RALLY. 356 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,534 HOW YOU DOING? 357 00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,167 I'M O.K. 358 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:49,934 SO...PAUL AND I HAVE SOME NEWS. 359 00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:51,000 NO. 360 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,367 WHAT? 361 00:12:52,367 --> 00:12:53,634 YOU JUST STARTED TRYING. 362 00:12:53,634 --> 00:12:55,434 YOU TOLD HIM? 363 00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:57,334 I TOLD HIM 'CAUSE IT'S HIM. 364 00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:58,501 YOU'RE PREGNANT? 365 00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,200 NO, NO. WE'RE TRYING. 366 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,601 WELL, POINT IS, YOU'RE HAVING FUN. 367 00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:02,701 DOING OUR BEST. 368 00:13:02,701 --> 00:13:04,567 TOLD SYLVIA? CONSIDERING IT. 369 00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:07,300 WHY? 370 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,701 I HAVE THIS WONDERFUL FREEZER BAG SEALING SYSTEM. 371 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:12,300 KEEPS SOUP FOR SIX YEARS. 372 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:13,734 STILL UNTAGGED. 373 00:13:13,734 --> 00:13:15,200 STILL UNTAGGED? 374 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,100 THOUGHT IT'D GO FIRST. 375 00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,100 SYLVIA... 376 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,734 YOU WANT THE SEALER SYSTEM? 377 00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:21,033 SURE. IT'S YOURS. 378 00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,367 THERE'S 5,000 PLASTIC BAGS IN THE CLOSET. 379 00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,400 I'LL GO GET THEM. 380 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,601 LET'S GO FREEZE STUFF RIGHT NOW. 381 00:13:26,601 --> 00:13:27,667 UH, SYLVIA... 382 00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:29,367 WHAT IS IT, DEAR? 383 00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:31,801 CAN I JUST TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 384 00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:32,734 OF COURSE. 385 00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:35,300 HOW YA DOIN'? 386 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:36,467 FINE. 387 00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,200 GOOD. 388 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:39,501 WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? 389 00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,133 YES. UM... 390 00:13:41,133 --> 00:13:42,901 PAUL AND I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL NEWS. 391 00:13:42,901 --> 00:13:44,167 AND WHAT'S THAT, HONEY? 392 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:45,934 WE'RE TRYING. 393 00:13:45,934 --> 00:13:47,467 TRYING. 394 00:13:47,467 --> 00:13:49,734 WE'RE TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. 395 00:13:49,734 --> 00:13:50,901 OH. 396 00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,300 GOOD FOR YOU. 397 00:13:58,868 --> 00:14:00,033 I'LL GET THE BAGS. 398 00:14:04,434 --> 00:14:07,100 WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT ONE COMING? 399 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,234 THAT'S IT. I GIVE UP. 400 00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,167 "CULTIVATE A RELATIONSHIP." WHAT WAS I THINKING? 401 00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:24,634 SWEETIE-- 402 00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:25,634 IF SHE WEREN'T YOUR MOTHER-- 403 00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:28,167 THEN WHAT? THEN SOMETHING... 404 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,701 VERY, VERY BAD. 405 00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:34,834 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 406 00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:36,267 IT'S YOUR EDITOR. 407 00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:37,801 HOW DOES SHE DO THAT? 408 00:14:37,801 --> 00:14:38,901 NOBODY KNOWS. 409 00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,367 DON'T GET THAT. LISTEN-- 410 00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:42,167 I'M NOT SPEAKING ILL OF HER. 411 00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:44,367 I'M SAYING SHE'S NEEDY. 412 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:47,033 HAVE YOU EVER SEEN NEEDINESS LIKE THAT? 413 00:14:47,033 --> 00:14:48,601 HAVE YOU? HAVE YOU? 414 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:51,434 HAVE YOU? 415 00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:52,534 NO. 416 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:55,601 NO. 417 00:14:55,601 --> 00:14:57,534 AND OVERSENSITIVE AS A RABBIT'S EYE. 418 00:14:57,534 --> 00:14:58,467 ALL RIGHT. 419 00:14:58,467 --> 00:15:00,067 HELLO? 420 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,968 MEANTIME, NOBODY'S EATING MY LOX. 421 00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,067 PUT A TAG ON IT. 422 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,634 THEY'LL HAVE IT WHEN YOU GO OVER. 423 00:15:06,634 --> 00:15:08,200 ALL RIGHT, MR. METZGER, 424 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,400 LET ME HEAR THEM FISHIES SING. 425 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,868 METZGER! GIANTS' SHORTSTOP. ROGER METZGER. 426 00:15:11,868 --> 00:15:13,567 NUMBER 8. 427 00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,701 ACTUALLY ON THE PHONE, RIGHT HERE. 428 00:15:15,701 --> 00:15:18,801 WHERE IS SHE, HIDING IN THE KITCHEN? 429 00:15:18,801 --> 00:15:21,267 YOU COULD MAKE A LITTLE EFFORT WITH HER, MOM. 430 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,934 I MADE A TREMENDOUS EFFORT WITH HER. 431 00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,734 YOU NEVER MADE AN EFFORT, 432 00:15:25,734 --> 00:15:29,267 SAME WITH GARY AND SAME WITH STEVE. 433 00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:32,467 I MADE AN EFFORT WITH GARY. CERTAINLY WITH STEVE. 434 00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:34,200 YOU MADE NO EFFORT WITH STEVE. 435 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,734 EVERYBODY MAKE AN EFFORT MORE QUIETLY. THANK YOU. 436 00:15:36,734 --> 00:15:38,200 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO? 437 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,167 ASK DAD. FISH. 438 00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:43,000 A PHONE IN THE BEDROOM FOR $6 A MONTH 439 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,100 WOULDN'T BE SO BAD. 440 00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:48,534 IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU TO GO TALK TO HER. 441 00:15:48,534 --> 00:15:50,667 STOP TELLING ME WHAT'LL KILL ME. 442 00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:53,133 SHOULD I GO TALK TO HER? 443 00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:55,000 IT WOULDN'T KILL YOU. 444 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,767 YOU HAD SALAMI. 445 00:15:58,801 --> 00:16:03,000 YOU WOULDN'T THINK A FISH WOULD KNOW ALL OF GUYS AND DOLLS. 446 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,000 CAN WE TALK, OR ARE YOU WAITING FOR A SHARK TO YODEL? 447 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,300 WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? 448 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,334 HERE'S WHAT. 449 00:16:10,334 --> 00:16:13,234 YOU SEE, PAULIE, WHEN YOU AND YOUR SISTERS WERE SMALL, 450 00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,400 I DID WHAT A FATHER DOES. 451 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,767 I BOUGHT SOME STOCKS, SOME SHARES, 452 00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:20,200 SOME--SOME SHARES OF THINGS. 453 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,534 YOU BOUGHT SOME STOCKS? 454 00:16:21,534 --> 00:16:22,868 THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. 455 00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:24,200 YOUR SISTER SHARON'S STOCKS-- 456 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,167 MERCK-- 457 00:16:26,167 --> 00:16:29,334 GOD BLESS IT, WHAT A COMPANY. 458 00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:30,634 THAT'S GOOD. 459 00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:31,868 YEAH. THEN DEBBIE'S STOCKS-- 460 00:16:31,868 --> 00:16:33,834 McDONNELL DOUGLAS-- 461 00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:34,901 FFFFZZZ... 462 00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:36,701 LIKE A ROCKET, 463 00:16:36,701 --> 00:16:38,534 WHICH THEY MAKE, BY THE WAY. 464 00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:39,601 GREAT, HUH? 465 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:41,167 GOOD FOR DEBBIE. 466 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,734 NOW, YOUR STOCK-- 467 00:16:43,734 --> 00:16:46,000 U.S. CYCLAMATES... 468 00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:48,267 O.K. 469 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:49,868 WHO KNEW? 470 00:16:49,868 --> 00:16:52,300 TAB WAS ONLY ONE CALORIE. 471 00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:55,467 FAT WOMEN THOUGHT THEY WERE SEEING THE HAND OF GOD. 472 00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:57,467 WHO COULD BLAME THEM? 473 00:16:57,467 --> 00:17:00,601 I WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU TO MAKE IT UP. 474 00:17:00,601 --> 00:17:01,868 THAT'S SILLY. 475 00:17:01,868 --> 00:17:03,334 IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO. 476 00:17:03,334 --> 00:17:04,767 NO, NO. 477 00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:06,400 PLEASE, IT'S JUST SILLY. 478 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,767 HERE. 479 00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,300 WHAT IS THIS? 480 00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:15,868 MY DAD GAVE ME THAT MONEY CLIP WHEN HE CAME BACK FROM THE WAR. 481 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,801 O.K. YOU BOUGHT THIS. 482 00:17:17,801 --> 00:17:19,834 HUH? 483 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,267 I WAS WITH YOU WHEN YOU BOUGHT THIS. 484 00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:28,968 I WANT TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING YOU CAN GIVE TO YOUR SON. 485 00:17:28,968 --> 00:17:31,868 WELL, FAIR ENOUGH. O.K. 486 00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,868 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 487 00:17:33,868 --> 00:17:36,000 NO MATTER WHEN I DIE, 488 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,234 IT'S GOING TO PISS ME OFF. 489 00:17:38,234 --> 00:17:40,634 HEY, ME, TOO. 490 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,367 IS EVERYBODY TAGGING? 491 00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,801 WE'RE TAGGING. YEAH, YEAH... 492 00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,868 EXCUSE ME. 493 00:17:45,868 --> 00:17:47,567 HOW YOU DOING? LET'S JUST GO. 494 00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,334 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 495 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:50,734 YOU'RE RIGHT. THERE'S NO POINT. 496 00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:52,100 YOUR MOTHER AND I WILL NEVER BE PALS. 497 00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,234 THAT'S WHAT SHE WANTS. SHE WINS. 498 00:17:54,234 --> 00:17:55,567 O.K. THAT'S IT. 499 00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:58,133 I'M TALKING TO HER. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 500 00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:01,167 I DON'T LIKE HER MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE THIS. 501 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,734 THIS IS THE LAST TIME. 502 00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,033 WHAT WILL YOU SAY? 503 00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:05,334 I KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 504 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,601 YOU'RE MY WIFE, THE WOMAN I LOVE. 505 00:18:07,601 --> 00:18:09,133 IT'S TIME FOR HER TO TREAT YOU LIKE THAT. 506 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:11,167 AND THE GRANDCHILD THING. YEAH. 507 00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:14,467 YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE BIRTH TO HER FLESH AND BLOOD. 508 00:18:14,467 --> 00:18:16,000 ENOUGH OF THESE GAMES. 509 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,167 THE COLDNESS. THAT, TOO. 510 00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,334 WHAT ABOUT IT? NO COLDNESS. 511 00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:20,834 I'LL SAY, "NO MORE COLDNESS." 512 00:18:20,834 --> 00:18:22,334 NO CRITICISM AS A MOTHER. 513 00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,968 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DO IT, BECAUSE... 514 00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:31,400 WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE YOU CAN'T TALK TO? 515 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,601 SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. 516 00:18:32,601 --> 00:18:33,901 THAT'S TYPICAL. 517 00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:35,267 I'M DYING, 518 00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,734 AND WE SPEND THE DAY WORRYING ABOUT HER. 519 00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,701 YOU'RE NOT DYING. 520 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,100 WELL, THE SECOND PART. 521 00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,434 WHY MUST I WALK ON EGGSHELLS WITH HER? 522 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,634 YOU DON'T. 523 00:18:44,634 --> 00:18:47,234 JUST GO TALK TO HER. 524 00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:48,934 THERE'S A SIDE OF YOU THAT I DON'T LIKE. 525 00:18:53,367 --> 00:18:55,033 BURT. 526 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:56,834 DON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT TO DO. 527 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,267 THANK YOU. 528 00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:01,000 JUST WALK IN THERE AND TALK TO HER. 529 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,901 SO I'M GOING. 530 00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:06,501 [THEME FROM THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY PLAYS] 531 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,634 I'M GOING TO GO PLAY IN THE BEDROOM. 532 00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:34,901 SO... 533 00:19:34,901 --> 00:19:36,434 HOW ARE YOU? 534 00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,033 FINE. HOW ARE YOU? 535 00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,734 I'M FINE. GOOD. 536 00:19:43,067 --> 00:19:45,267 WHAT DO YOU KNOW-- BLUE. 537 00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:48,634 THIS ISN'T THE COUCH WE ORDERED. 538 00:19:48,634 --> 00:19:50,033 LOOK AT THIS. 539 00:19:50,033 --> 00:19:52,100 "KENNEDY TO FLY TO DALLAS." 540 00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:56,567 LOOK. MA'S SCARF. COACHES AND HORSES. 541 00:19:56,567 --> 00:19:59,067 YOU SEE THAT? MOM DIDN'T BORROW IT. 542 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,634 SHE SAT ON IT. 543 00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,968 I STAND CORRECTED. 544 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:06,334 JUST TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO REACH YOU. 545 00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:09,067 HOW DO I GET THROUGH TO YOU? 546 00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:10,601 DO YOU WANT ME TO BEG? 547 00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:12,300 I'M BEGGING. OKAY? 548 00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:14,934 DO YOU WANT ME TO CRAWL? I'M CRAWLING. 549 00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:17,634 SHOULD I CHANGE THE WAY I TALK? 550 00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:20,300 O.K., I'LL CHANGE THE WAY I TALK! 551 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,634 CHANGE THE WAY I DRESS? 552 00:20:22,634 --> 00:20:24,067 FINE, FINE. 553 00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:26,300 I'M JUST GOING TO CHANGE THE WAY I DRESS. 554 00:20:26,300 --> 00:20:28,701 WANT ME TO CHANGE MY HAIR? 555 00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:30,434 I'M GOING TO CHANGE THE WAY MY HAIR LOOKS. 556 00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:31,734 I'M GONNA CUT IT RIGHT NOW. 557 00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:34,868 I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! 558 00:20:34,868 --> 00:20:37,567 THOSE ARE NOT THE RIGHT SCISSORS, DARLING. 559 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:45,601 WELL, I TRIED. I REALLY TRIED. 560 00:20:45,601 --> 00:20:47,534 YOU TALKED TO HER. 561 00:20:47,534 --> 00:20:51,534 I HUMILIATED MYSELF. IT WAS HUMILIATION. 562 00:20:51,534 --> 00:20:54,634 I HAD SUCH MODEST GOALS FOR TODAY. 563 00:20:54,634 --> 00:20:58,200 PICK UP SOME SHIRTS, GET SOME FOOD, FIX SOME SHOES. 564 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,167 THAT WAS TRULY THE EXTENT OF MY EXPECTATIONS. 565 00:21:01,167 --> 00:21:02,601 OH, GOOD. 566 00:21:02,601 --> 00:21:03,934 WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU? 567 00:21:03,934 --> 00:21:05,701 300 HARD-BOILED EGGS, 568 00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:08,501 LIKE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. 569 00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:12,033 A MILLION BAGELS SO I DON'T LET YOU WITHER AWAY. 570 00:21:12,033 --> 00:21:14,567 ENOUGH LOX FOR THE NEXT 111 YEARS. 571 00:21:14,567 --> 00:21:16,267 PICTURE THIS-- 572 00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:19,200 * LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT... ** 573 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:20,901 THIS IS WHAT THEY WERE DOING. 574 00:21:22,734 --> 00:21:24,667 HEY. 575 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:25,801 WHAT? 576 00:21:25,801 --> 00:21:27,100 LOOK AT THIS. 577 00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:31,501 DID YOU TAKE THIS? 578 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,200 ARE YOU SURE? 579 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,667 YEAH. 580 00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,767 DO YOU SEE WHAT SHE DOES? 581 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,767 I HAVE TO CALL HER. 582 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:46,000 IF YOU'VE LEARNED ONE THING TODAY, WHAT WOULD THAT BE? 583 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,601 I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU. 584 00:21:48,601 --> 00:21:50,601 DO WHAT YOU MUST. 585 00:21:50,601 --> 00:21:52,234 SYLVIA? 586 00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:53,501 IT'S JAMIE. 587 00:21:56,133 --> 00:21:57,067 BUCHMAN. 588 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:06,133 MURRAY, I'VE BEEN THINKING. 589 00:22:06,133 --> 00:22:07,801 TODAY WAS A VERY DIFFICULT DAY, 590 00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:10,968 BUT WHATEVER I SAID ABOUT YOUR MOTHER, 591 00:22:10,968 --> 00:22:12,767 THERE'S NO REFLECTION ON YOU. 592 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:15,200 YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME IN MY HOUSE. 593 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,200 [BARKS] GOOD. 594 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,067 NOW, GET OFF THE COUCH. [GROWLS] 35867

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