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♪ upbeat theme playing ♪
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00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:08,926
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba,
ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
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00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,429
♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ♪
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00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:19,645
Son, we're going to take a quick break
from the story of how I met your father
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00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:23,482
and talk about how I met my father.
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I know you didn't ask
for this part, so bear with me.
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00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,320
SOPHIE'S SON [on phone]:
I didn't ask for any of this.
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,823
You said you needed help with your phone!
- Oh, son, you're hysterical.
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Okay.
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00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,579
Tell me everything
you remember about my dad.
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I met him at Lollapalooza.
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He lolla'd my palooza,
and bam, here you are.
13
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,673
Okay. I'm gonna show you
this photo again.
14
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,926
- Ugh...
- This is the day you guys met,
15
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,554
so something in here
has to jog your memory.
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00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,932
Oh, my God! That's him!
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00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,267
That's just an arm!
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I know, but I remember
the barbed wire tattoo on his bicep.
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He said he needed security
around his guns.
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Oh, my God,
and you still slept with him?
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Wait, he's wearing a badge.
"Captain Concessions."
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Was he working the festival?
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Yes. Yes, he was.
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Well, you can almost see his name.
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Ick!
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His name ends in "ick." Mom,
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you've got to remember. What is it?
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- His name was Mick!
- Really?
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I don't remember,
but don't you hope it's Mick?
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Guys!
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The search for my father
has been narrowed down
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to three potential dads.
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Thanks to a lot of hard work
from my bestie.
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Oh, it was my pleasure.
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These days, I'll do literally
anything to avoid my...
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fiancé.
At least this time,
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I didn't have to trick him
into learning a new life skill.
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Hey, babe!
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I'm finally an intermediate at Spanish
on Duolingo. Can we hang out now?
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Sorry.
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You're not gonna be able to speak
to my abuela at the wedding
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until you're level 70.
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Sigue practicándo.
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Entiendo.
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That poor sweet boy.
46
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,792
So how did you narrow it down
to three names?
47
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,170
Sophie's dad worked
for Captain Concessions in 1991,
48
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,339
his first name ends in "ick,"
so I went to their LinkedIn page
49
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,049
and did a deep dive
on all their current employees,
50
00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:15,135
until I found an HR director
who has a second family in Poughkeepsie.
51
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So, I blackmail him
into sending me the roster
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00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:19,223
of all the employees
that worked Lollapalooza '91,
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and three of them have names
that end in "ick."
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Oh. Simple.
55
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Okay! Everyone gets an ick.
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Val and I are gonna take
Nick Foster in Staten Island.
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Sid and Jesse, you guys get Rick Graham
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in New Jersey...
- Oh.
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...and Charlie and Ellen,
60
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:35,405
you guys get Dick Webber-Morris
in Yonkers.
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Guys, do you see what's happening here?
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This is a Mamma Mia!
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Technically, it's not.
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In Mamma Mia,
Meryl Streep slept with three guys.
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My mom slept with one.
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I think it's more of a reverse
gender-swapped Philomena.
67
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Wha-- No, Philomena is an Irish nun
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trying to find her son
who was taken away from her.
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00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,341
What we have here is a hetero
The Kids Are All Right.
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00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:55,592
No, I just googled it.
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00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:59,054
Sophie's life is most like
the beloved Paul Reiser TV show
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My Two Dads, but with three dads.
Final answer.
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Wait, guys, guys, guys!
Let's channel this energy
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into actually finding my dad.
Okay? Ick on three.
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One, two, three!
Ick!
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Okay, check it out.
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I'm gonna go to the desk.
I'm gonna ask for Rick.
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I'm gonna sign up for the free trial.
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00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,787
And then, I'm gonna cancel
before the end of the month.
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00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,709
Hey. It's your airplane pal Taylor.
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00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,711
Remember that rapper
we were sitting next to?
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How could I forget?
Well...
83
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,840
Li'l Toasty's new single just dropped,
84
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,592
and I think it's about
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how he wanted to have a threesome with us!
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What? No way. How do you know that?
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Because it's called Mile High Menage.
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We're freakin' famous!
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00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,310
Hey, Rick's about to come out.
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Why are you grinning
at your phone like an idiot?
91
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:52,900
Oh... No, nothing. Uh, my new bud Taylor
sent me something funny.
92
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:55,235
Oh. You have a new buddy.
93
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,778
Cool. Love that for you.
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00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,864
Funny Taylor. You know,
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00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:02,034
I've got some pretty hysterical hot takes
about Whole Foods you haven't heard.
96
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,745
Whole Foods? More like whole paycheck--
97
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,584
Hey, guys. I'm Rick.
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Could Sophie be half-Asian?
99
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Dick and Dale's Exotic Entertainment.
100
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We're ripped, we strip, and you tip.
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Oh, hey, Mom.
102
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Do you think that's him?
103
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:27,059
Until I figure out why I self-sabotage,
I don't think I'll ever find love.
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Rambling on
about his horrible love life.
105
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,312
Definitely Sophie's dad.
106
00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:34,358
Hi there! Uh, are you Dick or Dale?
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Dick.
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Dale passed years ago.
109
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,155
He tried the death-defying
alley-oop pole flip.
110
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Nailed it.
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00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,116
But then got murdered.
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00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:49,081
I... bet he's giving lap dances
to angels now.
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Dick, did you ever, by chance,
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attend the music festival Lollapalooza?
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No. Why are you asking me that?
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00:04:57,256 --> 00:04:59,883
Just a fun icebreaker, you know?
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We like to get to know our strippers.
118
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,429
Ellen, may I speak to you by the...
butt-shot wall?
119
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Well, he's lying. We already know
he went to Lollapalooza.
120
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,436
Clearly, we can't trust him to answer
our questions honestly.
121
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,815
We gotta see if he's got that
barbed wire tattoo on his arm.
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Ask him to take his shirt off.
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You can't just ask a stripper
to sample the merchandise
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without paying for the goods.
He's not Costco, Ellen!
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Follow my lead.
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Dick, my friend,
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all the wall butts in the world
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pale in comparison with yours.
Mm-hmm.
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Now I'm in charge
of throwing my best friend here
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00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,294
her bachelorette party,
and I want you to be the stripper.
131
00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:38,755
Oh. [laughs] I'm flattered,
but I've been out of the game for years.
132
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That is such a shame
because my dream bachelorette
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is a man like you
shakin' a donk like that
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00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,805
in a face like this.
135
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,683
Please?
136
00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,980
You know what? For you,
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00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,982
I'll dust this donk off one last time.
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When's the party?
- In two hours.
139
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,657
Hey, sorry I sent you guys all the way
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to a gym in Jersey for nothing.
141
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,245
Oh, it wasn't for nothing.
We both Zumba'd our asses off.
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00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,539
Hoo-hoo!
143
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,583
I hope Staten Island Nick is your dad.
144
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,585
We never get to hang out on islands.
145
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,670
Manhattan is an island.
146
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,382
Okay, sweetie.
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00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,934
Oh, my God.
What if my dad owns a hot dog store?
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I'll be a hot dog heiress.
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Wish me luck.
Good luck. You got this, go.
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00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,321
Hey.
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00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:45,948
Uh, can I speak to Nick, please?
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00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,825
Oh, I'm just a real hot dog head
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00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:52,204
who is dying to meet the founder
of Nick's of Staten Island.
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00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:55,332
The founder of
Nick's of Staten Island is...
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Dead.
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This guy's dead.
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00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,712
Oh! Uh...
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00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:02,756
Charlie and Ellen just texted
that your dad
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00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,675
may be a washed-up male stripper.
160
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,635
Oof.
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00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,595
Suddenly, dead's not looking so bad.
162
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:17,187
So there's a 50% chance my dad's dead.
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Should we, like,
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say something to honor him?
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Uh...
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00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:29,408
♪ ...mazing Grace ♪
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00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:33,620
♪ How sweet ♪
168
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,290
♪ The sound ♪
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00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,293
♪ That saved ♪
170
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♪ A wretch ♪
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00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:42,880
♪ Like-- ♪
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Whoa, we got a mourner.
We got a mourner. Fan out.
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He's here for Nick.
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Oh, my God.
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He's got the barbed wire tattoo.
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00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,023
That must be my much older half-brother,
177
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:04,276
and he got the tattoo to honor our dad...
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00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,653
Sophie. That's your dad.
179
00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,699
Then whose gravestone is that?
180
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,743
Your grandfather's.
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00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,745
Oh... duh.
182
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,082
Val, can you text me what's going on
so I don't seem dumb in front of everyone?
183
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,795
So, my friends and I followed my dad
184
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,423
back onto the Staten Island Ferry.
185
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,425
We were like sexy spies.
186
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,178
On a boat that smelled like trash.
187
00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,347
Full disclosure,
188
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,766
sometimes,
I still miss my Tamagotchi.
189
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,393
Full disclosure, I still have mine.
190
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,938
Hey, hey, hey. You wanna go to the front
and do "king of the world" with me?
191
00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:44,733
I was just texting Taylor.
What'd you say?
192
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Never mind.
193
00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:52,491
I can't believe we're tailing my dad.
194
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:55,118
I'm so excited to see
what amazing new place
195
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,495
he's gonna take us.
196
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,250
Back here, huh?
197
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:03,627
Don't hate it.
198
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:06,630
Ah.
199
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:10,300
Welcome to straight-Ellen's bachelorette!
200
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,719
We have penis hats,
201
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,888
a penis piñata,
202
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,891
and a pineapple upside-down penis cake!
203
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,561
That is... extremely realistic.
204
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,229
The detail is amazing.
205
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,232
Are those pubes made of coconut flakes?
206
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,984
It's a triumph.
207
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,485
Oh!
208
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,863
There's our entertainment.
209
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:33,532
Now, remember, ladies, you can look,
210
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,908
but you can't touch.
211
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,118
Not gonna be a problem.
212
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,246
Ahoy, landlubbers.
213
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,624
Who's ready to walk my plank?
214
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,546
So, are we... waiting for the rest
of the guests or...
215
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:49,256
Nope! Gang's all here!
216
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,967
What I lack in friends,
I make up for in horniness,
217
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,260
so get dancin'!
218
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,512
Ah! Okay, Ellen.
219
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,933
Are you ready for me to...
220
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,853
shiver your timbers?
- Oh!
221
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:04,521
Sure, big boy. Drop anchor.
222
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,565
Oh, th-that costs extra.
223
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:07,774
Never mind. Full steam ahead.
224
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,318
That also costs extra.
225
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,652
Just do what we paid for.
226
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:17,159
♪ Pirates of the Caribbean remix ♪
227
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:25,834
Really? He's going one scarf at a time?
228
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,461
Let me try and speed this along.
229
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,671
Take your shirt off, Dick. Woo!
230
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:33,550
Don't worry, little lady.
231
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,220
All in due time.
232
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,473
All... in due time.
233
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,532
Okay. It's now or never. Right?
234
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,283
I'm just gonna walk up to him and say...
235
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,745
I'm Sophie. I'm your daughter.
236
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:02,579
Mm-hmm.
237
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:05,040
Here I go.
238
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,167
I'm doing it!
239
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,920
Watch me go!
240
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,964
I'm going. Am I going?
241
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,715
No, you're just crushing Val's hand.
242
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,759
- Sorry.
- Oh...
243
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:18,637
Sorry. I've just--
I've been waiting for this moment...
244
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,974
my entire life,
imagining what my dad would be like.
245
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,935
What if he's terrible?
246
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,436
What if he signs me up for basketball
247
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,105
and pushes me to my limit,
248
00:11:28,105 --> 00:11:30,148
until I finally break down
and have to tell him,
249
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,234
"Dad, basketball's your dream,
but it's not mine!"
250
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:34,862
- She's right...
- What?
251
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:37,531
I mean, not about
her weirdly specific fear,
252
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,576
but we should vet him
and make sure he's dad-worthy
253
00:11:40,576 --> 00:11:42,494
before we reveal her true identity.
254
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,788
You're right.
We should give him some dad tests.
255
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:45,914
Good idea.
256
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,125
Hey, let's see if he'd take
a bullet for Sophie, huh?
257
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,127
But, if he passes, he's dead.
258
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,671
And if he fails, I'm dead.
259
00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,300
See you guys come up
with any good ideas...
260
00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,803
Dad Tests!
261
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,807
Oh! Oh no! Ow! I fell!
262
00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:06,894
Can somebody, anybody, help me?
263
00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,353
Oh!
- You okay, pal?
264
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:11,732
- Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
- Your shoes have no traction.
265
00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:13,483
You gotta rock something like these.
266
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,819
Hey, what size are you?
- 11 wide.
267
00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:19,281
No way. Foot twins.
Here, try these bad boys on.
268
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,784
Nick is literally giving him
the shoes off his feet.
269
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,746
Tell you what. Keep 'em.
I got another pair in back.
270
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:27,748
Now, you go out there
and follow your dreams.
271
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:29,666
I promise I'll make you proud.
272
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,127
I'm a little proud already.
273
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,883
♪ rock music ♪
274
00:12:40,969 --> 00:12:43,180
Uh, hey, would you mind
tossing me a ketchup packet?
275
00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,015
Oh, sure thing, ace.
276
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,019
Oh, thanks. Uh, I only need one.
277
00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:51,855
Nice arm, slugger.
278
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:53,357
Thank you.
279
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,192
- Hey. Go long.
- Okay.
280
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,987
I caught it!
- Yeah, you did, champ!
281
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,453
♪ rock music ♪
282
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:11,792
You okay?
283
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:16,588
Not really. Grad school is way too hard.
284
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,966
I think I'm gonna quit
and start an OnlyFans.
285
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,135
Do you think me washing my dog
in lingerie for money
286
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,554
is a good path for me?
287
00:13:24,805 --> 00:13:26,265
I think...
288
00:13:26,265 --> 00:13:29,935
you shouldn't let a moment
of frustration derail you.
289
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,521
Education's important.
You should stay in school.
290
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:34,273
♪ rock music ♪
291
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:38,819
But, end of the day,
292
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,612
it's your life and your body,
293
00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:42,114
and anyone who tells you otherwise
294
00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:44,408
is trying to stigmatize your sexuality
to control you.
295
00:13:44,408 --> 00:13:45,659
All work has dignity.
296
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,870
♪ rock music ♪
297
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:54,334
Your dad is like
a Mr. Rogers-level good dude!
298
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,836
Great!
299
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,380
Okay, after his shift is over,
300
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,799
I'm gonna go in and introduce myself.
301
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:03,010
- Can I come, too?
- Me, too. We can all share your dad?
302
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,012
- No!
- O-Of course not.
303
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,973
Soph, we will give you some privacy.
304
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,017
We'll come back and hang with him later.
305
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,476
Oh, my God, wait! I didn't tell
306
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,312
Charlie and Ellen that we found my dad,
307
00:14:13,312 --> 00:14:14,563
so can one of you guys?
308
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:15,606
Sure, sweetie.
309
00:14:15,606 --> 00:14:16,857
They didn't.
310
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,234
♪ Pirates remix continues ♪
311
00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,695
It's been an hour.
He has to take his shirt off next.
312
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,160
Come on!
313
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,496
Who strips from the bottom up?
314
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,172
Dick? What's wrong?
315
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,300
I miss Dale.
316
00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,971
I haven't stripped since he passed away.
317
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:51,099
It-it just doesn't feel right to go
full nude without him here.
318
00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:53,644
God, I totally understand.
319
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:55,521
I mean, if Ellen and I
were a team of strippers,
320
00:14:55,521 --> 00:14:57,648
a-and she pulled off
a daring stripper move
321
00:14:57,648 --> 00:15:00,025
and then got murdered
in a totally unrelated incident,
322
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:02,027
I don't think I'd ever strip again either.
323
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,279
Yes, you would.
324
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,240
Because you'd know that I'd want you
325
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,450
to shake that thing harder than ever.
326
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,826
For me.
327
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,328
For us.
328
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,122
And I bet that's what Dale
would want for you, too.
329
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:16,625
You're right.
330
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,337
CHARLIE/RACHEL/ELLEN:
Strip. Strip. Strip.
331
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,882
Strip. Strip. Strip. Strip.
332
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:27,511
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
- Dale! This is for you!
333
00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:30,556
Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
334
00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:31,974
- No barbed wire tattoo!
- Oh, man!
335
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:33,725
I-I mean...
336
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,686
Oh, man...
337
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,897
Dick, we know you were lying
about going to Lollapalooza.
338
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,399
Why didn't you just tell the truth?
339
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,900
Bad memories.
340
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,694
Dale met his murderer at that festival.
341
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:56,039
Get there. Get there!
342
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:59,501
Yes! Let's go, Mets!
343
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,560
You're lying!
344
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,312
I'm not! Hand to God,
345
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:20,105
I know all the words to the Macarena.
346
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:21,481
Why?
347
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,901
When I was 12, it was my Everest.
348
00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:26,820
Alright. Put your phone away
349
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:28,906
'cause I got us a ridiculous
amount of barbecue,
350
00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:30,699
a box of cigars, and a home brew kit.
351
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:31,783
'Cause I love you, man!
352
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:34,870
I-I don't know why I'm trying
to downplay it. I love you!
353
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,290
Okay... Thanks...
354
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,292
"Thanks."
355
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,294
Trying to get
our frickin' spark back, man.
356
00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:43,545
Something's off with us.
357
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:47,049
Bro,
we are the Spam of friendship.
358
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,592
Okay? Our shelf life is forever.
359
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:49,885
Yeah, that's what I thought.
360
00:16:49,885 --> 00:16:52,346
But you've been texting all day
with your new friend Taylor.
361
00:16:52,346 --> 00:16:53,889
What? Who cares?
362
00:16:53,889 --> 00:16:55,641
Taylor's great, but she's not you.
363
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:57,351
You complete me, bro!
364
00:16:57,351 --> 00:16:59,853
Wow. Did I just come up with that?
- Wait, wait, wait.
365
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,064
Taylor's a woman?
- Yeah...
366
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,024
Did I not mention that?
367
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:05,526
No, you didn't.
368
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:07,736
Okay. Well, yeah, she is.
369
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:12,115
And where did you meet
this new girl... friend?
370
00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:14,201
I don't know
why you're being so weird.
371
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:16,787
It's not even a big deal.
We met on a flight to LA.
372
00:17:16,787 --> 00:17:18,539
She's also in
a long-distance relationship,
373
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:20,332
and we bonded over it. That's it.
374
00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:22,125
- Got it.
- Yeah.
375
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,461
It's just...
376
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,755
I mean, you've been
texting her a lot lately
377
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,423
like you do
when you're really into someone.
378
00:17:29,675 --> 00:17:31,426
Whatever. You know what?
You're the best guy I know,
379
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:33,929
and if you think this is innocent,
then it is. Alright? End of story.
380
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,558
Now, this homebrew kit said
it's gonna take 6 to 8 weeks,
381
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:39,560
so let's just go to the bar, huh?
382
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:48,819
It's settled.
383
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,780
You are singing me the Macarena
the next time we see each other.
384
00:17:52,281 --> 00:17:55,617
Maybe... next Saturday?
385
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:58,245
My friends and I are doing karaoke
if you wanna come.
386
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:02,583
Taylor, I'm sorry.
I don't think we should talk anymore.
387
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,420
No worries.
388
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:07,838
I-I totally get it.
389
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,639
Mm! This cake is delicious.
390
00:18:18,182 --> 00:18:19,683
Try the balls. They're made of nuts.
391
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:21,560
Genius!
- Wow.
392
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,228
Oh hey, here she is. Hey, how'd it go?
393
00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:25,480
I, um...
394
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,774
couldn't go through with it.
395
00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:29,401
What happened?
396
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,404
I don't know.
I was about to introduce myself,
397
00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:34,489
and then I realized that he's a Mets fan.
398
00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:38,035
Fair. That's a brutal legacy to take on.
399
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,454
No. I realized
400
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:42,664
that him being a Mets fan is just
401
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:45,792
one of a thousand things
that I don't know about him,
402
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:47,794
and catching up and learning
all of those things,
403
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:51,298
and then having to tell him
every little quirk about me,
404
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,593
I don't know. It felt like too much.
405
00:18:54,593 --> 00:18:56,094
And maybe it's just...
406
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,389
too late for us.
407
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,642
Or...
408
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,644
maybe today just wasn't the day.
409
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,103
You know? Totally.
410
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,271
It's not just that.
411
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,607
Even if we did get caught up
on all the little things,
412
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:10,526
who knows if he would even like me?
413
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:14,613
Soph, your dad is absolutely
gonna love you.
414
00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:15,656
When you're ready.
415
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,450
Yeah.
416
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:20,285
When I am ready.
417
00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:22,204
Hi.
418
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,791
♪ Can't forget we only get what we give ♪
419
00:19:25,791 --> 00:19:28,836
♪ Oh, you got the music in you ♪
420
00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:31,213
♪ Don't let go ♪
421
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:33,549
♪ You've got the music in you ♪
422
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:35,425
♪ One dance left ♪
423
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:37,845
♪ This world is gonna pull through ♪
424
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,721
♪ Don't give up ♪
425
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,974
♪ You've got a reason to live ♪
426
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:43,934
♪ Don't forget ♪
427
00:19:43,934 --> 00:19:46,186
♪ We only get what we give ♪
428
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,021
♪ Don't let go ♪
429
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,357
♪ You got the music in you ♪
430
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:52,276
♪ One dance left ♪
431
00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:54,570
♪ This world is gonna pull through ♪
432
00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:56,488
♪ Don't give up ♪
433
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,824
♪ You've got a reason to live ♪
434
00:19:58,824 --> 00:20:00,784
♪ Don't forget... ♪
30209
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