Original subtitles

Kind: captions Language: en

a hunting weave ago

a hunting weave ago

a hunting weave ago a hunting river and if it's

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] a hunting river

a hunting river

a hunting river [Music]

[Music]

[Music] ladies and gentlemen we have a program

ladies and gentlemen we have a program

ladies and gentlemen we have a program of tall stories

of tall stories

of tall stories dedicated to the great american papa

dedicated to the great american papa

dedicated to the great american papa allow me to present the exalted giraffe

allow me to present the exalted giraffe

allow me to present the exalted giraffe of the toll story club

of the toll story club

of the toll story club lowell tavis hello everybody

lowell tavis hello everybody

lowell tavis hello everybody for 20 years i've been looking for the

for 20 years i've been looking for the

for 20 years i've been looking for the tallest tall story in the world

tallest tall story in the world

tallest tall story in the world and maybe this is it the president of

and maybe this is it the president of

and maybe this is it the president of the chattanooga chapter of the tall

the chattanooga chapter of the tall

the chattanooga chapter of the tall story club writes me as follows

story club writes me as follows

story club writes me as follows i wish to state that the bearer of this

i wish to state that the bearer of this

i wish to state that the bearer of this note has told me a tale that i consider

note has told me a tale that i consider

note has told me a tale that i consider the tallest of them all

the tallest of them all

the tallest of them all get him to tell it to you well i've done

get him to tell it to you well i've done

get him to tell it to you well i've done better than that

better than that

better than that i've persuaded him to come right here

i've persuaded him to come right here

i've persuaded him to come right here and tell it into this microphone so here

and tell it into this microphone so here

and tell it into this microphone so here is charlie chucklehead of chattanooga

is charlie chucklehead of chattanooga

is charlie chucklehead of chattanooga come on charlie

you see it was this way i had a job as a

you see it was this way i had a job as a

you see it was this way i had a job as a chauffeur

chauffeur

chauffeur and after the accident the man in the

and after the accident the man in the

and after the accident the man in the junkyard told me it was the most

junkyard told me it was the most

junkyard told me it was the most complete smash up

complete smash up

complete smash up he ever saw so he gave me a job in his

he ever saw so he gave me a job in his

he ever saw so he gave me a job in his junkyard

junkyard

junkyard breaking up the old cars you see i was a

breaking up the old cars you see i was a

breaking up the old cars you see i was a breaker and a loser

breaker and a loser

breaker and a loser you mean you mean you went broke and

you mean you mean you went broke and

you mean you mean you went broke and lost your mind no no no

lost your mind no no no

lost your mind no no no i had to break them up and lose the

i had to break them up and lose the

i had to break them up and lose the pieces sneak them out

pieces sneak them out

pieces sneak them out and drop them accidentally someplace

and drop them accidentally someplace

and drop them accidentally someplace well where did you lose them in

well where did you lose them in

well where did you lose them in somebody's back alley

somebody's back alley

somebody's back alley no i figured it would be doing a big

no i figured it would be doing a big

no i figured it would be doing a big favor to somebody

favor to somebody

favor to somebody if i fixed it so they could have an old

if i fixed it so they could have an old

if i fixed it so they could have an old gas tank in their parlor

gas tank in their parlor

gas tank in their parlor you see they could use it as an aquarium

you see they could use it as an aquarium

you see they could use it as an aquarium for the goldfish oh yeah or in the

for the goldfish oh yeah or in the

for the goldfish oh yeah or in the nursery as a baby's bath sure

nursery as a baby's bath sure

nursery as a baby's bath sure there are lots of things you could do

there are lots of things you could do

there are lots of things you could do with an old gas tank that you couldn't

with an old gas tank that you couldn't

with an old gas tank that you couldn't do with a grand piano

do with a grand piano

do with a grand piano and i gave him a lot of other things too

and i gave him a lot of other things too

and i gave him a lot of other things too in place of the furniture

in place of the furniture

in place of the furniture carburetors for teacups and steering

carburetors for teacups and steering

carburetors for teacups and steering wheels for chairs

wheels for chairs

wheels for chairs and fenders you see the trouble is

and fenders you see the trouble is

and fenders you see the trouble is there's so many of them

there's so many of them

there's so many of them and they're so noisy it's hard to sneak

and they're so noisy it's hard to sneak

and they're so noisy it's hard to sneak them anyplace well

them anyplace well

them anyplace well you could have shipped them to china for

you could have shipped them to china for

you could have shipped them to china for musical instruments in a shanghai jazz

musical instruments in a shanghai jazz

musical instruments in a shanghai jazz band

band

band and i thought of sending them to

and i thought of sending them to

and i thought of sending them to switzerland for bobsleds but you know

switzerland for bobsleds but you know

switzerland for bobsleds but you know i'd rather give them to folks in this

i'd rather give them to folks in this

i'd rather give them to folks in this country oh i see your charity begins at

country oh i see your charity begins at

country oh i see your charity begins at home just a patriotic philanthropist

home just a patriotic philanthropist

home just a patriotic philanthropist i was sorry i could not give those folks

i was sorry i could not give those folks

i was sorry i could not give those folks the fenders

the fenders

the fenders you know you could tell from that

you know you could tell from that

you know you could tell from that wonderful collection of antiques there

wonderful collection of antiques there

wonderful collection of antiques there on the street

on the street

on the street that those were people who would

that those were people who would

that those were people who would appreciate parts from the oldest wrecks

appreciate parts from the oldest wrecks

appreciate parts from the oldest wrecks in the old car madame

in the old car madame

in the old car madame yes wilson the furniture has arrived

yes wilson the furniture has arrived

yes wilson the furniture has arrived ah with great promptitude

ah with great promptitude

ah with great promptitude aided wilson

[Music]

oh welcome oh mrs van gogh and

right then i got a real idea

and you had your ups and downs i had to

and you had your ups and downs i had to

and you had your ups and downs i had to think up new ideas

think up new ideas

think up new ideas all the time all right have been buried

all the time all right have been buried

all the time all right have been buried under piles of junk

under piles of junk

under piles of junk someday charlie they're going to bury

someday charlie they're going to bury

someday charlie they're going to bury you under piles of

you under piles of

you under piles of yes i know piles of junk but i found

yes i know piles of junk but i found

yes i know piles of junk but i found somebody

somebody

somebody who would appreciate those old tires you

who would appreciate those old tires you

who would appreciate those old tires you like to do favors for millionaires don't

like to do favors for millionaires don't

like to do favors for millionaires don't you

you

you sure i always do waldorf james to his

sure i always do waldorf james to his

sure i always do waldorf james to his majesty's ambassador's reception

you know mister sometimes i nearly ran

you know mister sometimes i nearly ran

you know mister sometimes i nearly ran out of ideas

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] um

oh

professor is that the metal eating bird

professor is that the metal eating bird

professor is that the metal eating bird [Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] no no no that's it oh

no no no that's it oh

no no no that's it oh that's it yeah

that's it yeah

that's it yeah well you mean to say that that bird can

well you mean to say that that bird can

well you mean to say that that bird can eat metal

eat metal

eat metal yeah yeah that bird eats tin

yeah yeah that bird eats tin

yeah yeah that bird eats tin cans eat ten cans

cans eat ten cans

cans eat ten cans yeah yeah tin cans scrap iron

yeah yeah tin cans scrap iron

yeah yeah tin cans scrap iron nuts bolts or any kind of metals i'll

nuts bolts or any kind of metals i'll

nuts bolts or any kind of metals i'll explain

explain

explain how to capture that boy yeah you know

how to capture that boy yeah you know

how to capture that boy yeah you know that bird doesn't live in nests and

that bird doesn't live in nests and

that bird doesn't live in nests and trees like the other fellas no

trees like the other fellas no

trees like the other fellas no no no they live in holes in the crown

no no they live in holes in the crown

no no they live in holes in the crown on those stones on their heads are

on those stones on their heads are

on those stones on their heads are covers for their underground homes

covers for their underground homes

covers for their underground homes and to get those birds out of the ground

and to get those birds out of the ground

and to get those birds out of the ground you must play music

you must play music

you must play music yeah but i can't play music they'll take

yeah but i can't play music they'll take

yeah but i can't play music they'll take music as with you

music as with you

music as with you [Music]

uh

uh

uh [Applause]

[Music]

my

[Music]

signals

93 46 78

93 46 78

93 46 78 7. oh

i'm sorry i thought you were a bird

i'm sorry i thought you were a bird

i'm sorry i thought you were a bird i am i'm a tough fight you'll have to

i am i'm a tough fight you'll have to

i am i'm a tough fight you'll have to excuse me uh

[Music]

[Music]

will you do me a little favor

will you do me a little favor

will you do me a little favor what's on your mind i want you

what's on your mind i want you

what's on your mind i want you to decoy that bird into my cage

to decoy that bird into my cage

to decoy that bird into my cage why she wouldn't give me a nibble she's

why she wouldn't give me a nibble she's

why she wouldn't give me a nibble she's a metal eaten bird

a metal eaten bird

a metal eaten bird i'll fix that all right

what's next what's the big idea

what's next what's the big idea

what's next what's the big idea that's all right i'll make you look like

that's all right i'll make you look like

that's all right i'll make you look like a metal worm

a metal worm

a metal worm now go get her

yo hello hello who calls yes where are

yo hello hello who calls yes where are

yo hello hello who calls yes where are you yo

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] hello baby you want to take a walk oh

my how shiny you are yep

my how shiny you are yep

my how shiny you are yep i'm a metal worm oh metal

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] oh

oh

oh miss something oh yes

miss something oh yes

miss something oh yes but i won't miss this time

but i won't miss this time

but i won't miss this time oh laughter all around the mountain

oh laughter all around the mountain

oh laughter all around the mountain very pushed

no i've got you no you haven't yeah

no i've got you no you haven't yeah

no i've got you no you haven't yeah no you haven't oh yes i am

[Music]

[Music]

[Music] you want to play rough eh let's go

you want to play rough eh let's go

you want to play rough eh let's go you can't take it

wanna take a walk

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] there how do

there how do

there how do you like that

you like that

you like that [Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] great i like it

great i like it

great i like it hey mister get your cage ready

hey mister get your cage ready

hey mister get your cage ready i'll push her in

well anytime you want a lion

well anytime you want a lion

well anytime you want a lion a tiger or an elephant just let me know

a tiger or an elephant just let me know

a tiger or an elephant just let me know thanks well i'll be rolling along

oh where am i

oh where am i

oh where am i [Music]

and then you got your metal eating bird

and then you got your metal eating bird

and then you got your metal eating bird back to the junkyard yes sir

back to the junkyard yes sir

back to the junkyard yes sir and i put her in a shed a wooden shed

and i put her in a shed a wooden shed

and i put her in a shed a wooden shed you know i had to do that so she

you know i had to do that so she

you know i had to do that so she wouldn't eat her way out

wouldn't eat her way out

wouldn't eat her way out and boy what an appetite

wow

oh

[Music]

can you lay eggs me

can you lay eggs me

can you lay eggs me sure and i can hatch them too

sure and i can hatch them too

sure and i can hatch them too i can handle them

so

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Applause] [Music]

[Applause]

so

so

so [Applause]

i've got a great idea

i've got a great idea

i've got a great idea we'll start a flipper factory and hatch

we'll start a flipper factory and hatch

we'll start a flipper factory and hatch 5 million cars a year

hey what's the joke we metal birds like

hey what's the joke we metal birds like

hey what's the joke we metal birds like only one egg every hundred years

only one egg every hundred years

only one egg every hundred years [Laughter]

[Laughter]

[Laughter] a hunting river a hunting river