Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,110
You've tested positive for chlamydia.
2
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,610
You'll need to contact
your previous sexual partners.
3
00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:07,410
~ All of them?
~ No, just the ones you like.
4
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:10,370
It's been 11 years since I lost
my virginity and what have I got?
5
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:11,650
Apart from chlamydia.
6
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:14,530
I'm calling them. I'm thinking
of visiting some of them.
7
00:00:14,580 --> 00:00:15,890
Helen and Angus.
8
00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:17,370
GUESTS CHEER
9
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,250
What about her? She's cute.
10
00:00:19,300 --> 00:00:20,850
She's my best friend.
11
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:24,210
Have to start saving up again so you
can all get drunk at the wedding!
12
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:25,410
CROWD CHEER
13
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:29,460
You could still say something.
14
00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,880
HE GROANS AND COUGHS
15
00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,710
We've got to do something
about Angus. Everything
reminds him of Helen.
16
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,790
He sees a girl in a skirt?
Helen wore skirts.
17
00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,510
I eat my porridge with a spoon?
Helen used to use a spoon.
18
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:49,830
It's killing me, Dylan!
19
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,390
~ He's in a bad place.
~ He's in our place.
20
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,630
Yeah, he... He bought a clothes
rail for the living room.
21
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,680
~ Feels quite permanent. ~ Mm-hm.
22
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,030
HE SIGHS
23
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,550
Yeah, I'll talk to him.
24
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,600
ANGUS SNORES
25
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,670
Hey, Angus?
26
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:13,630
Helen!
27
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,470
Erm, why don't you move
into Evie's old room?
28
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,950
Oh, no thanks. I won't be here long.
29
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,670
It's just a blip.
30
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,720
It's been three months.
31
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,550
How was Mal and Evie's
engagement party?
32
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:36,190
Erm, yeah, the bits
I remember were fine.
33
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,670
Your phone's been ringing.
34
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,510
I picked up one, but, erm,
the caller just shouted.
35
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,390
Probably one of the girls you rang.
36
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,950
Angus, you're not making any sense.
37
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,000
You came home from Evie's party
very, very drunk
38
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,830
and, erm, started calling
lots of women and saying sorry.
39
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,880
And then talking about condoms.
40
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,670
~ That's a lot of messages. ~ Mm.
41
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,710
Hi, Dylan, Anna Leslie here.
42
00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:11,910
I got some of your message
but then I think you were crying
43
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,150
and we got cut off,
so could you call me on...
44
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:18,200
PHONE BEEPS
45
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:23,120
PHONE VIBRATES
46
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,870
Hey, Caroline.
47
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:29,070
Yes, I'm nearly
finished.
48
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,870
Yeah, his eyes are much sadder.
49
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:34,920
Honestly, there's no doubt at all
that he's had a really shit life.
50
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:39,400
Sorry, an abusive life.
51
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,950
Yeah, I'll bring it round
in the morning.
52
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:46,000
OK... OK, bye.
53
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,670
Cleo's in a bar and she knows
I'm free for the evening.
54
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,350
One of you has to come with me.
55
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,590
Oi, come on!
She thinks I'm an iceberg.
56
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,950
Like there's 90% more to me
below the surface.
57
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,110
But it's just fish
and ocean down there.
58
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,870
Yeah! And I'm fine with that.
I know how awesome I am.
59
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,590
But see, Cleo's a thinker.
She's clever and she has layers
60
00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:07,590
and thinks everyone should have them.
And when she discovers how shallow
61
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:10,630
I am, I will lose the best sex
of my life, of all our lives.
62
00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,910
And I can't go back to experiencing
less pleasure, guys.
63
00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:17,510
So I need to put some padding
between Cleo, me, and reality.
64
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,150
And one of you needs to be that pad.
65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,200
I reckon Dylan looks
strong and absorbent.
66
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,030
Line my panties, Dyl.
67
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:31,080
Line my panties.
68
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,710
You tell some jokes,
entertain Cleo's friend
69
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,390
and if anyone start digging deep,
trying to get to know the real me...
70
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,440
~ We run screaming for the hills.
~ Boom.
71
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:45,390
So how long have you
known each other?
72
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,150
Oh, just ages.
How about you and Cleo?
73
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:51,110
We're on the same part-time
Masters course. Psychology.
74
00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,710
Plumbing the hidden depths
of people like Luke.
75
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,710
Ah, not me. I was actually born
without a subconscious.
76
00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,470
Erm, that would make you pure ego.
77
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,630
That's uncanny. You've nailed him!
78
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,950
LAUGHTER
79
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,990
No need to talk about me all evening.
80
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,310
Cleo, I like your haircut,
for example.
81
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,870
Is it new... hair?
82
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,510
No, it's the same
as it was on Monday.
83
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,510
Oh. Monday was nice, wasn't it?
84
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,990
I might nip to the loos
and think about Monday.
85
00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,550
Do you know where the...?
86
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,750
Yeah, I'll just, erm... show you.
87
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,990
(Oh, great. Thanks very much.)
88
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,670
Ah, erm... they've gone to have
sex in the loos, haven't they?
89
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,150
Yeah, I'd say they'd be at least
four minutes. Maybe three.
90
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,230
It's a bit of a grim venue
though, no?
91
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,630
Yeah, I tried it once.
Nearly broke an ankle.
92
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,830
But there's the whole 'your place
or mine' thing. Ladies or gents?
93
00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:40,070
And in the ladies, I heard
everything smells like candyfloss.
94
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,070
Everything you heard is true.
95
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:46,120
MUSIC: Breezeblocks
by alt-J
96
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,760
Oh, hey!
97
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,470
Erm, Dylan, we should get going.
98
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,270
Erm, let's stay.
99
00:05:00,320 --> 00:05:03,830
Erm, well, I mean,
I want to, obviously.
100
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,150
But I've got that thing, remember?
101
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,200
Erm, no, it's fine. They called me.
It's cancelled.
102
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,830
I f-find that very hard
to believe, Dylan.
103
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,790
Why would I lie about it?
104
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,590
How about another round
of drinks instead?
105
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,830
~ I'm in. ~ Yeah.
~ (Iceberg!)
106
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,880
Come on, Luke. We never get
to just sit and just talk.
107
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,590
Erm, yeah, listen, maybe I'll
just call them to double-check.
108
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,190
~ I might have got it wrong.
~ Thank you.
109
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,240
Fingers crossed I can stay.
110
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,630
So, did you bare your soul to Cleo?
111
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,830
Erm, we had sex in the toilet,
and then I left.
112
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,750
Wow. That's like something
out of Jane Austen.
113
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,110
Where's Dyl?
114
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,230
I imagine, true to form, he's
having sex and then not leaving.
115
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:56,280
Some woman Cleo knows
from her psychology course.
116
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,670
So, I'm not going to ask you up.
117
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,950
I-I don't want to come up.
I want to go on a date.
118
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,350
Ha! Ah...
119
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,270
~ You're too young for me.
~ It's this T-shirt, isn't it?
120
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,950
You know, in a suit,
I could pass for mid-30s.
121
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,750
Which would still be too young!
122
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,590
Come over, then.
No date, just, just dinner.
123
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:18,270
We'll, we'll hang out.
124
00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:22,320
See, I haven't 'hung out'
since my late 20s.
125
00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:27,080
Can I at least ask Cleo?
126
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,190
OK.
127
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,910
Dinner sounds...
128
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:38,470
nice.
129
00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:42,520
~ Yes!
~ SHE LAUGHS
130
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,990
Anna's a grown-up and this is just
what slightly older people do.
131
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,590
The elderly.
132
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:53,350
They make dinner. I think it's to
prove they've learnt how to cook.
133
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,350
Why invite Cleo over?
It's very unsupportive, Dyl.
134
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,950
It's basically...
It's Judas territory, is what it is.
135
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,310
Anna wanted her to come.
136
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,030
'Wanted?' Cleo 'wants'
to see where I live!
137
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,590
She 'wants' to see my bedroom
and draw conclusions about
my personality.
138
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,590
That's why I've worked really hard
to keep her away from this place.
139
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,230
Did you ever think Cleo might
like you if she got to know you?
140
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,870
Erm, yeah, I've considered it,
and it's definitely a no.
141
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:17,350
And now she's coming
to motherfucking dinner!
142
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:20,310
And there's going
to be... conversation.
143
00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:22,030
Why are there five plates?
144
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,910
You're eating with us.
I'm cooking actual food.
145
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,430
No, I've got work to do.
146
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,670
Oh, but look, hey, if there's any
big news on school catchment areas
147
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,630
~ or hip replacements,
come and grab me. ~ Join us.
148
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,590
It's an experiment in not living
like depraved, feckless children.
149
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,630
It's only four hours.
150
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,190
Four hours?
151
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,030
Oh, you are such an arsehole!
152
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,080
~ Where are you going?
~ To neutralise my room!
153
00:07:58,160 --> 00:07:59,790
DOORBELL RINGS
154
00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,550
Fuck it!
155
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,070
Hey! Great to see you, guys.
Come on in.
156
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,470
~ Wow! ~ This place!
157
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,950
It's lovely, isn't it?
158
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,750
Really nice, erm, coats.
159
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,990
~ Oh, thank you.
~ It's absolutely fine.
160
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:17,040
THE WOMEN CHATTER
Maybe I'll just put those over there,
actually.
161
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,710
So, will you give us the grand tour?
162
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:24,070
Will I ever.
163
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:25,870
Dylan.
164
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,920
Bathroom.
165
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,590
~ This is where we keep Evie.
~ Oh, you moving out?
166
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,750
No. I keep my soft porn
and Xbox games in boxes.
167
00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,270
It's more convenient.
168
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:38,590
Cool.
169
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,640
Onwards.
170
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,230
And my room.
171
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,430
It's, erm... minimal.
172
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,070
Wine, sleep and philosophy.
That's all I need.
173
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,670
Oh, that's interesting. Why?
174
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,950
Ah, talking about my feelings already
175
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:01,000
and we haven't even got
you two a drink yet!
176
00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,030
Can you show me around your room?
177
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:08,080
I'll, erm... go find those drinks.
178
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:12,190
How was the tour?
179
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,790
I think Cleo's still
seeing Luke's room.
180
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,990
The ceiling, mostly.
181
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,150
Yeah, I'm thinking I might, erm,
rent my own place soon.
182
00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,630
Oh.
183
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,750
Or, erm, get a mortgage, you know...
fixed rate of interest.
184
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,190
That kind of thing.
185
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,430
LUKE AND CLEO MOAN LOUDLY
186
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,510
You? You've been thinking that?
187
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,070
~ Yep. ~ Oh.
188
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,390
So, you're going to get yourself
onto the old property ladder?
189
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,630
Yeah, I've been
considering it, yeah.
190
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:41,150
So you're just testing the market
conditions before making a play?
191
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,710
MOANING GROWS LOUDER
192
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,550
Shall we move into the living room?
193
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,230
THEY SCREAM "YES!"
194
00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,590
Tell me about your family.
195
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:54,750
I'm too naked to talk about my mum.
196
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,800
That sentence could be straight
out of my Freud module.
197
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,790
I think I can smell dinner.
198
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,830
Hmm, I just smell sex.
199
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:10,880
No, it's definitely chicken.
Let's go and eat.
200
00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:16,560
MUSIC: The Look
By Metronomy
201
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,230
There's jambon and jamon there.
202
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,430
So, not just ham and ham?
203
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,790
Jambon, jamon and...
204
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,230
English ham.
205
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,230
All very grown up.
Normally we just get plain ham.
206
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,190
It all looks delicious.
207
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:33,110
What do you think, Luke?
208
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,390
About ham? Hmm, I'm on the fence.
209
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,510
How can you not have
an opinion on ham?
210
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,910
~ You either like it or you don't!
~ Fine! I like it! So let's eat some.
211
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,710
And then there's roast chicken
and pudding.
212
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,760
Oh, fuck off!
213
00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,990
That is, I am both
pleased and surprised.
214
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:55,040
Dylan is not normally one for long
meals with too many courses.
215
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,030
~ What? ~ Oh...
216
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,190
~ Has anyone else closed their eyes?
~ Did we pay the electricity?
217
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:02,590
It's the whole street.
218
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,710
Oh, well, party's over. I'm so sorry,
ladies. I'll fetch your coats.
219
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:08,110
Oh, no, please stay.
We can make this work.
220
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,030
It'll come back on in a minute.
221
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,910
Can... can someone pass me more ham?
222
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,390
~ I am passing you the ham.
~ Maybe we should go.
223
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,270
Oh, no, come on. I've made dinner.
224
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,320
We just need to find it.
225
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:30,890
We'll get the power back and
we'll eat and it'll be great.
226
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,210
Power company said it
could take hours.
227
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,570
Boys, no peeing standing up
in the dark. You sit like girls.
228
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,530
I actually have a presentation
in the morning.
229
00:11:38,580 --> 00:11:39,810
I should probably drive home.
230
00:11:39,860 --> 00:11:41,930
Oh, the lady's spoken.
They need to go, really.
231
00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,170
Can somebody shine a light?
232
00:11:43,220 --> 00:11:45,090
I can't find my bag, and my
car keys are in it.
233
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:46,250
Have we got a torch?
234
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:50,300
~ Erm, I think there's one in my
drawer. ~ I'll help you look. ~ OK.
235
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:53,930
What's the system here? I'm feeling
socks next to T-shirts. It's chaos.
236
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:57,810
Try the second drawer down.
237
00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,610
Ah, I think I've got it.
238
00:11:59,660 --> 00:12:01,170
VIBRATING SOUND
239
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,570
So... this isn't a torch.
240
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:06,090
Oh, my God.
241
00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:08,530
HE IMPERSONATES SCARFACE:
Say hello to my little friend!
242
00:12:08,580 --> 00:12:11,610
Turn it off, put it down.
Never ever mention this again.
243
00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:14,370
Do I need to wash my hands?
244
00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:15,890
~ Shit! ~ Did that hit you?
245
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:17,370
Erm, no, it didn't, actually.
246
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:20,730
~ Keep talking.
~ What do you want me to sa...
247
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,290
(OK, that hit me.)
248
00:12:22,340 --> 00:12:25,130
~ Maybe it's cooked?
~ Hmm, I don't know.
249
00:12:25,180 --> 00:12:27,570
Don't they eat raw chicken in Japan?
I think I read that.
250
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:28,890
I have a torch!
251
00:12:28,940 --> 00:12:32,940
And a much clearer idea of how
Evie spends her evenings.
252
00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:37,980
That looks disgusting, Dylan.
253
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,690
Why don't I just pay for
Anna's cab home, huh?
254
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:44,770
I found my bag. Under a jumper,
under a table, which was weird.
255
00:12:44,820 --> 00:12:46,130
But great that you've found it!
256
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:47,690
But the car keys aren't in it.
257
00:12:47,740 --> 00:12:49,490
~ Why not?! ~ Obviously I don't know!
258
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:52,530
Sorry. My presentation cards
are in the boot.
259
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:53,650
We have pens and paper.
260
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,810
Doing some colouring-in
won't cut it where I work.
261
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:59,330
Look, why... why don't you stay?
We'll have dinner and then
when it gets light...
262
00:12:59,380 --> 00:13:02,450
Fuck's sake, Dylan, dinner is over!
The ham's eaten, the chicken's raw!
263
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,650
Let's just bury this
evening and move on!
264
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:05,770
Oh, great.
265
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,250
~ Anna, Cleo... ~ Ow!
266
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,050
..please stay as long as you want.
267
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,330
You are wel...
268
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:14,380
Ow, God! I'm going to
give you a wedgie!
269
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,730
Boys!
270
00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:20,490
Dylan, why don't we ask next
door if he has a gas oven?
271
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:24,540
And Luke, if our guests don't mind,
you could look for my camping stove.
272
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:29,100
It'll probably take you
ages to find it.
273
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:35,970
DOORBELL RINGS
274
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,730
What? You're letting the heat out.
275
00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:39,290
Is your power off too?
276
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,370
That's none of your bloody business.
277
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,690
Um, we have a raw chicken here.
278
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,810
Our electricity's off. Could I
please roast this in your oven?
279
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:47,850
I don't know you.
280
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:49,850
No, no, you do. We've lived opposite
281
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,730
you for years. I took your
parcel last week.
282
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:53,890
I didn't like it.
It was too expensive.
283
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:56,290
~ Please, my whole...
~ I've read about this. Go away!
284
00:13:56,340 --> 00:13:57,970
Read about what?
285
00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:59,930
Oh, come on.
Look, please, be neighbourly!
286
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:02,010
I just need one hour at 180 degrees.
287
00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,930
Move your foot! This is burglary!
288
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:07,770
What am I stealing?!
289
00:14:07,820 --> 00:14:09,810
Thought I'd come
and give you a hand.
290
00:14:09,860 --> 00:14:11,410
Maybe the stove's in one of these.
291
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:15,460
I've, erm, I've checked those.
They're, um, mostly Evie's porn.
292
00:14:16,020 --> 00:14:17,930
She is so immoral.
293
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:21,980
You think it's immoral? I'd have
thought you were more open-minded.
294
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:23,490
What?
295
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,810
Cos what I mean is...
296
00:14:24,860 --> 00:14:26,490
I mean, I love porn.
297
00:14:26,540 --> 00:14:28,610
Half this stuff she's
borrowed off me.
298
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:32,410
Brideshead Refisted?
Ooh, it's immoral to box it up.
299
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,730
No, I don't like porn.
300
00:14:33,780 --> 00:14:37,780
I just don't think
it's a moral issue.
301
00:14:37,860 --> 00:14:41,860
I'm surprised YOU like porn.
302
00:14:43,660 --> 00:14:45,330
Cleo, I...
303
00:14:45,380 --> 00:14:48,810
I really need to focus
on finding Evie's stove.
304
00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:51,130
So maybe instead of me, you know,
305
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:55,090
joking about liking
Evie's filthy porn,
306
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,730
I should just quietly
not talk to anyone
307
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:01,780
until I've found this,
erm... this stove.
308
00:15:05,540 --> 00:15:09,540
MUSIC: Wildest Moments
by Jessie Ware
309
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:11,850
The whole thing's been
a complete failure.
310
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,010
Oh, so Anna's never had a power cut?
311
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:16,970
Why do you need her
to think that you're...
312
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:18,970
I mean, you are where you are
313
00:15:19,020 --> 00:15:22,530
and where you are is not
all bad, is all I'm saying.
314
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:25,090
We can't eat any of this.
315
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:29,050
Mm... Want to just keep walking?
Go down to the river?
316
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,690
There's that place that does really
good chicken. Fully-cooked.
317
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,170
It's at least a mile away.
318
00:15:34,220 --> 00:15:37,130
Who cares? And it's a nice night.
319
00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:40,010
It'll be beautiful.
320
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,330
They can wait.
321
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:45,380
Look, we should get back.
322
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,250
Hello?
323
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,650
We've got crudites and dips
324
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,010
and custard.
325
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,610
~ Hey. ~ Oh, Jesus!
326
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,290
Party is over, Dylan. Just call it.
327
00:15:57,340 --> 00:15:58,370
Where's Anna?
328
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:00,770
I don't know. I've been hiding.
She's here somewhere.
329
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:03,050
You can still bag this one, buddy.
330
00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:07,100
Evie, I need your help.
Can't talk out here.
331
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:14,450
Here's the problem.
Cleo looks like she's staying over
332
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:18,250
and she's still going to be here in
the morning, asking me stuff,
probing for weaknesses.
333
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:21,810
~ Pretend you're asleep. That's what
I'd do. ~ What, and I just do
that all day tomorrow?
334
00:16:21,860 --> 00:16:24,210
Before you go to bed,
say you're really tired.
335
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:26,250
Ooh, that is clever.
336
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,050
Pow! So many questions.
337
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,930
Why didn't you say you were there?
338
00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:34,210
Because I was on the loo and it was,
I don't know, awkward!
339
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:38,260
By the way, did you
piss on the floor?
340
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:42,340
No!
341
00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:43,850
You want to know who I am?
342
00:16:43,900 --> 00:16:46,250
I think I insist.
343
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:49,010
OK. I like steaks, I enjoy beaches...
344
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,410
Ugh. I'm going home.
345
00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:51,850
OK, OK, OK, OK, OK.
346
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,290
HE SIGHS
347
00:16:54,340 --> 00:16:57,250
OK.
348
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,370
I like plain girls
who are trying really hard
349
00:16:59,420 --> 00:17:01,490
and I like gorgeous girls
who are going to seed.
350
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:03,770
Most of all like I like women
who don't really like me.
351
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:07,170
Sometimes I wish I was
a massive, black, American guy.
352
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,610
I try to wait to get to
work before taking a crap.
353
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:13,660
That way, they're paying
me to take a shit.
354
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:16,930
Found my car keys.
355
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,290
~ Shit. ~ Yeah, exactly.
356
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:21,290
I should have looked
in your room earlier.
357
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:24,090
~ Who hides people's things? ~ But...
358
00:17:24,140 --> 00:17:27,210
I knew you were too young
for me, but hiding my things?
359
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:29,810
Only six-year-olds and
close-up magicians do that
360
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:31,850
and I don't want to go
out with either.
361
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,450
I-I wanted you to stay for dinner.
362
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,210
You fanned out some slices of ham.
363
00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:38,930
And I tried to cook you a chicken
364
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:42,980
without any practical means
of cooking a chicken.
365
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:45,490
Because...
366
00:17:45,540 --> 00:17:48,930
I think you're beautiful and...
367
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,930
I like you.
368
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,980
I really wanted to make you dinner.
369
00:17:59,460 --> 00:18:01,090
This may be a reflection of
370
00:18:01,140 --> 00:18:03,090
how messed-up my life's become
371
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:05,930
but that is the most...
372
00:18:05,980 --> 00:18:08,330
romantic thing anyone's
373
00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:12,380
said to me in, well...
374
00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:17,860
MUSIC: Spanish Sahara
by Foals
375
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,930
I seek out vintage porn from the days
when women used to have pubic hair.
376
00:18:32,980 --> 00:18:34,250
I like the mystique of it.
377
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,450
And I want kids but I don't
want to have to raise them,
378
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,410
I just want visitation rights,
not custody,
379
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:42,460
even if I'm married to their mother.
380
00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,450
I'd never have sex outdoors
in the missionary position,
381
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,690
because if someone walked in
halfway through, they might
think I was boring.
382
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:58,740
~ I think...
~ No, no, no, there's more.
383
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,930
You know this can't last, don't you?
384
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:04,330
What? No.
385
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:06,970
I want someone to settle down with,
have kids with,
386
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:10,170
and I feel like I've got about
60 seconds left to find him.
387
00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:13,690
Here I am, with a minute to spare!
388
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:16,610
You want kids next year?
389
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:19,930
Well, I... I mean...
390
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:22,250
Oh, if I was younger...
391
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,530
Then I'd be right for you?
392
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:29,580
Then I'd have more time to
enjoy this not being right.
393
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,370
Erm...
394
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:41,290
I once hit a dog with my fist.
395
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,530
I think I'm done.
396
00:19:42,580 --> 00:19:46,290
Oh, and I don't like reggae.
I don't like huge tits.
397
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,650
That's me.
398
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:51,650
Wow. Thank you for your honesty.
399
00:19:51,700 --> 00:19:54,410
Do you want to have sex now?
400
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:57,450
Erm, definitely not.
I think never again.
401
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:01,500
But I appreciate your candour.
402
00:20:02,060 --> 00:20:03,850
It actually felt pretty good.
403
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:07,900
Yeah.
404
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:13,700
I totally forgot about the dog thing.
405
00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:29,340
♪ Hey, now
406
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,610
♪ Letters burning by my bed for you
407
00:20:33,660 --> 00:20:37,660
♪ Hey, now
408
00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:41,370
♪ I can feel my instincts
here for you
409
00:20:41,420 --> 00:20:44,010
♪ Hey, now...
410
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:48,060
DOORBELL RINGS
411
00:21:02,140 --> 00:21:05,890
Hi. Um, Anna texted me.
412
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:07,530
I've got her spare car keys?
413
00:21:07,580 --> 00:21:10,050
You sound useful.
414
00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:12,730
I'm Mal. I'm a friend of Anna's.
415
00:21:12,780 --> 00:21:13,810
All right, mate?
416
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:17,090
LUKE SNIFFS
Something's burning.
417
00:21:17,140 --> 00:21:18,650
It smells like...
418
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:22,700
chicken.
419
00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:29,980
Holy...
420
00:21:31,220 --> 00:21:33,410
HE SIGHS
421
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,930
PHONE RINGS
422
00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:38,850
Anna Leslie's office.
Chrissie speaking.
423
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,770
Hi, yeah, it's erm,
it's Dylan for Anna.
424
00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:43,090
Erm, she's expecting my call.
425
00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:47,140
OK. I'll try and put you through.
426
00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:50,250
~ Anna, were you expecting a dial-in?
~ Yes. Great.
427
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:52,770
Hi, Anna here, thanks for joining.
428
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:55,210
Hi, Anna. Um, it's Dylan here.
429
00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:58,450
Listen, there's not an
easy way to say this.
430
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,770
I-I-I might have
given you chlamydia.
431
00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,850
I think you have the wrong number!
432
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,370
Erm, Anna Leslie?
433
00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:08,650
We had sex during a power cut
18 months ago?
434
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:10,530
I have chlamydia now.
435
00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:12,490
It's a sexual infection.
436
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,170
Can you hear me?
437
00:22:15,220 --> 00:22:18,730
How did she take it?
438
00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:21,450
I think maybe telling
people on the phone isn't...
439
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,690
PHONE VIBRATES
440
00:22:22,740 --> 00:22:25,650
This could be a long morning.
441
00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:26,810
Hello?
442
00:22:26,860 --> 00:22:30,690
Hi, it's Abigail. You left
a message for me last night.
443
00:22:30,740 --> 00:22:34,740
I mean, most guys wait a couple of
days to call but three years is...
444
00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:37,330
bold.
445
00:22:37,380 --> 00:22:39,290
Yeah, um... about that...
446
00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:41,850
Wait, I didn't get
you pregnant, did I?
447
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:45,330
Does it have my eyes?
448
00:22:45,380 --> 00:22:46,610
Are you still there?
449
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:50,660
Would you like meet up for me to
talk the words to your face?
450
00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:57,330
Um, sorry, I'm
pretty bad at the phone.
451
00:22:57,380 --> 00:22:59,330
I believe you.
452
00:22:59,380 --> 00:23:03,090
But, yes, we could meet.
453
00:23:03,140 --> 00:23:06,650
Good. I think that's good.
454
00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:10,700
MUSIC: Left Hand Free
by alt-J
455
00:23:11,860 --> 00:23:14,610
~ She's single. ~ Ilona McLeod is
single and she's having a party.
456
00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:16,410
I need you to drive me
to the Highlands.
457
00:23:16,460 --> 00:23:17,850
You came!
458
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:20,450
I've got a to-do list for tonight.
It's very short.
459
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,610
~ Hey, man. I'm Luke.
~ We were all at school together.
460
00:23:22,660 --> 00:23:26,450
Fair warning? I'm packing this.
461
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,130
I want to see nudity.
462
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:30,890
I've been adding to this thing
since I was seven years old.
463
00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:34,050
We do everything that
he hasn't yet done.
464
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:38,050
~ CHEERING
Drink! Drink! Drink! ~ Whoo-hoo!
465
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:40,530
Fuck!
35027
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof