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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,082 --> 00:00:06,108 No, it's the corner of 12th Street. 2 00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:08,517 12th Street! Right. 3 00:00:08,588 --> 00:00:11,455 Okay, so that's one large pizza. 4 00:00:11,524 --> 00:00:13,924 Now, half mushroom, half meatball. 5 00:00:13,993 --> 00:00:17,121 - Who are you talking to? - The Italian embassy. 6 00:00:17,196 --> 00:00:20,165 - That's correct. - You're ordering a pizza? 7 00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:22,861 What, are you a week behind? Stay with me here. 8 00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:23,993 Get pepperoni. 9 00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,004 If I change the order, his head will explode. 10 00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:29,166 - Well, what did you order? - Half mushroom and half meatball. 11 00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:32,336 No, no. I was telling my wife. No, I didn't want another one. 12 00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:36,212 -J ust the one pizza, right. - Get half mushroom and half pepperoni. 13 00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:43,211 Let me ask you this. Is it possible-- 14 00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:46,190 Can I change the meatball to pepperoni? 15 00:00:47,427 --> 00:00:49,657 - No. - He said no? 16 00:00:49,729 --> 00:00:51,890 He's telling me no. 17 00:00:53,099 --> 00:00:54,327 How can he say no? 18 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,062 That's what they mean-- New York style pizzas. 19 00:01:09,148 --> 00:01:11,241 Tell me why 20 00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:13,148 I love you like I do 21 00:01:13,219 --> 00:01:14,846 Tell me who 22 00:01:14,921 --> 00:01:17,412 Can start my heart as much as you 23 00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:21,256 Tell me all your secrets and I'll tell you most of mine 24 00:01:21,327 --> 00:01:25,286 They say nobody's perfect Well, that's really true this time 25 00:01:25,364 --> 00:01:27,332 I don't have the answers 26 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,231 I don't have aplan 27 00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:31,236 But I'm mad about you, baby 28 00:01:31,304 --> 00:01:33,169 So help me understand 29 00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:34,672 What we do 30 00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,833 You can whisper in my ear 31 00:01:36,909 --> 00:01:38,672 Where we go 32 00:01:38,744 --> 00:01:41,008 Who knows what happens after here 33 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,980 Let's take each other's hand 34 00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:47,179 As we jump into the final frontier 35 00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:50,017 I'm mad about you, baby 36 00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:03,500 Lisa, can't you at least stop by? 37 00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:05,799 Well, what am I gonna tell them? 38 00:02:05,872 --> 00:02:09,273 Daddy is not gonna believe you've been quarantined. 39 00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:11,833 No, then forget it. I can't talk to you now. 40 00:02:11,911 --> 00:02:15,438 Unbelievable. Your father has circled the block nine times. 41 00:02:15,515 --> 00:02:18,348 He's gonna have to stop for gas soon. 42 00:02:18,417 --> 00:02:21,909 He enjoys parking. Did you vacuum the curtains? 43 00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:24,821 No. Did you dust the top of the Chrysler Building? 44 00:02:26,726 --> 00:02:29,024 I want everything to be perfect for them. 45 00:02:29,095 --> 00:02:32,462 Well, don't make it too perfect, or your mother will have nothing to do. 46 00:02:33,966 --> 00:02:35,558 What are you doing? 47 00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:40,033 I don't know. 48 00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:42,165 Did you take a cracker? 49 00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,409 No. 50 00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:50,676 - Please don't mess everything up. - Honey-- 51 00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,617 Seriously. I have a plan here. I got p�te for my mother. 52 00:02:53,686 --> 00:02:56,416 I got the cheese that Daddy loves. They're gonna have some snacks... 53 00:02:56,489 --> 00:02:58,855 they'll go through the wedding album, they'll talk about New Haven... 54 00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:01,519 they'll drill me a little about Lisa and then they're offto the matinee. 55 00:03:01,594 --> 00:03:03,960 - Sounds like you don't even need me. - I hope you're kidding. 56 00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:06,521 - I am. Yes, I am. I'm kidding. - What are you doing? 57 00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:08,931 - You're getting very tense. - I'm not getting tense. 58 00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:12,198 Whatever you're getting, it scares me because they'll only be here an hour. 59 00:03:12,271 --> 00:03:15,763 I know, and I want to enjoy it. I've been looking forward to this hour. 60 00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:18,544 If I were you, I'd hide under the bed. 61 00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:21,744 Save me a space. 62 00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:25,409 What is that supposed to mean? You think I'm making too much ofthis? 63 00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:30,514 Give me a second. Let me think ofthe exact right answer. 64 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:35,118 - I'm dancin' through land mines here. - Why are you making me nuts? 65 00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:38,322 Can I just point out to you objectively... I'm not. 66 00:03:38,397 --> 00:03:39,989 Then why am I so tense? 67 00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:43,661 This is what happens any time your parents cross the Connecticut border. 68 00:03:43,736 --> 00:03:45,966 But it's okay. I love you, and I will support you. 69 00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:48,165 And by nightfall, you're gonna owe me so big. 70 00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,674 Okay? 71 00:03:49,742 --> 00:03:52,006 Why aren't you wearing the yellow shirt my mom gave you? 72 00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:57,345 'Cause I like this shirt, and I'm saving the yellow one for when I'm lost at sea. 73 00:03:59,885 --> 00:04:02,945 Why can't you wear anything they give you? 74 00:04:03,022 --> 00:04:06,287 Well, how come you never wear that brooch my mother bought foryou? 75 00:04:06,359 --> 00:04:08,418 Come on. That paper weight with a pin in it? 76 00:04:08,494 --> 00:04:12,191 - Hey, look, no mothers. - No mothers. I'm sorry. 77 00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:14,699 Don't tell my mom I returned the gravy boat. 78 00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:17,235 I was gonna open with that. All right. 79 00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:23,902 - Peanut, what do you say? -Jamie, you look so beautiful. 80 00:04:23,976 --> 00:04:27,173 Get that hair offyour face so the world can see how prettyyou are. 81 00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:28,372 Hello, Paul. 82 00:04:28,447 --> 00:04:32,406 I love this little girl. This is my baby. 83 00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:36,285 This is my prize. You been treating her okay, Pauly? 84 00:04:36,355 --> 00:04:37,754 The best care. You betcha. 85 00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,757 - You got a loose doorknob there. - I do? 86 00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:41,588 Right there. You got a screwdriver? 87 00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:46,929 - I don't know. Probably. - How could you not have a screwdriver? 88 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:50,332 I got a butter knife, and we got a super, so-- 89 00:04:52,638 --> 00:04:56,074 I just love everything you've done to this place. 90 00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,269 Oh, is this the couch you told us about? 91 00:04:58,344 --> 00:05:00,574 No, it's this one. 92 00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:02,841 Oh. 93 00:05:02,915 --> 00:05:05,008 Wouldn't you like it better over here? 94 00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:08,520 No. That's why we put it over here. 95 00:05:08,587 --> 00:05:10,077 Are you all right? 96 00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:13,819 I feel a little dizzy from driving around the block. 97 00:05:13,893 --> 00:05:16,054 I offered to drop you off. 98 00:05:16,128 --> 00:05:19,325 You know I don't like to be alone in this neighborhood. 99 00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:21,593 - Can I get us something to drink? - Water. 100 00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:24,363 - Splash ofJ &B? -J ust a splash. 101 00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,496 - Double splash for me. - Comin' up. 102 00:05:26,572 --> 00:05:28,005 Have a seat. 103 00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:30,440 You should see the spot I got. Tell her. 104 00:05:30,509 --> 00:05:33,603 He found a very good spot right by the curb. 105 00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:36,307 Peanut, come and look at this spot. 106 00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:42,883 Oh, wow. Good parking, Daddy. 107 00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:46,982 Jamie, don't you want to know how things are at home, or don't you care? 108 00:05:47,059 --> 00:05:49,220 Oh, no, I do. 109 00:05:49,295 --> 00:05:52,355 The truth is, nothing much is happening. 110 00:05:52,431 --> 00:05:56,527 Oh, except the Frosty Hut. It's a crack house now. 111 00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:58,092 Are you kidding? 112 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:01,037 Somebody should take those bastards out, line 'em up and hang 'em. 113 00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:03,337 Publicly. On television. 114 00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:06,105 Gus, please, tell her about the grill I bought you. 115 00:06:06,178 --> 00:06:08,112 Mom bought me a new grill. 116 00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:13,479 Oh, look. She got my favorite p�te. 117 00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:17,113 - And Daddy's little cheeses. - Such a shame we can't eat it. 118 00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:20,818 - Why not? - Our cholesterol's through the roof. 119 00:06:20,893 --> 00:06:23,054 But that's nothing foryou to worry about. 120 00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:27,691 We got major medical. Ofcourse, those thieves don't cover what they used to. 121 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:30,429 - Oh, Gus, don't start. - Who are you protecting? 122 00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:32,528 Are you best friends with Blue Cross now? 123 00:06:33,606 --> 00:06:35,574 I'm gonna go help Paul with the drinks. 124 00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:38,405 - Oh, can I help? - No, thanks. 125 00:06:38,477 --> 00:06:41,139 What was she thinking buying that couch? 126 00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:47,378 - Looking for something, honey? - Anything that won't kill my parents. 127 00:06:47,453 --> 00:06:50,980 And who says you're not a good hostess? 128 00:06:51,056 --> 00:06:53,718 - My mother. - Oh, no. What did she say? 129 00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,853 - Nothing. - Well, I'm sure she didn't mean it. 130 00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:59,693 There was a chicken in here. Who ate it? Did you eat it? 131 00:06:59,765 --> 00:07:01,699 - No, I did not eat it. - Somebody ate it. 132 00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:04,793 Honey, I want you to stand there for a second and just breathe. 133 00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:06,804 Will you stop making demands on me! 134 00:07:09,008 --> 00:07:11,340 Come here. Look into my eye. 135 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:14,379 Look into my eye deep and focus, okay? 136 00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:16,938 Listen to me. This will pass. 137 00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:19,075 What are you saying? You don't like my parents being here? 138 00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:22,018 No, I love them being here. I'm just don't want you here at the same time. 139 00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:26,918 - Is there cholesterol in olives? - No, it's perfectly safe. 140 00:07:26,992 --> 00:07:29,790 Unless, ofcourse, I decide to smackyou in the head with this jar. 141 00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:31,989 - Thankyou foryour support. - I support you, honey. 142 00:07:32,064 --> 00:07:34,362 But can I say to you as your friend that your parents... 143 00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,560 are turning you into a little bit ofa lunatic. 144 00:07:36,635 --> 00:07:38,967 - And what's your point? - You're not gonna change them... 145 00:07:39,038 --> 00:07:41,063 so maybe you could just deal with it a little better. 146 00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:45,543 This from a man that goes into a fetal position every time his mother calls. 147 00:07:50,015 --> 00:07:54,213 I don't believe that's true. It happens to be a yoga relaxation exercise. 148 00:07:56,188 --> 00:07:59,351 Here we go. Hope these are to your liking. 149 00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:02,917 Oh, look. He curled the lemon twist. 150 00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,929 Well, I remembered you enjoyed that last time. 151 00:08:04,997 --> 00:08:07,227 - Thankyou. - That's a great color on you. 152 00:08:07,299 --> 00:08:10,666 You're a very thoughtful young man. And you were worried about him. 153 00:08:10,736 --> 00:08:13,227 Not true. I always liked Pauly. 154 00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:16,536 Especially compared to some ofthose other prizes she brought home. 155 00:08:16,609 --> 00:08:20,875 What a parade! Oh, who was the one who stole her shoes? 156 00:08:20,946 --> 00:08:22,538 Arnold. What a slug. 157 00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:27,283 - He was one ofthe better ones. - Okay, can we stop this, please? 158 00:08:27,353 --> 00:08:29,344 And by the way, he's a congressman now. 159 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,683 I rest my case. 160 00:08:30,756 --> 00:08:32,951 What do you got there, Gus? Look at this. 161 00:08:33,025 --> 00:08:36,222 We brought you some fresh meat from the shop. 162 00:08:36,295 --> 00:08:38,456 You sure you didn'tjust hit a deer on the way in? 163 00:08:38,531 --> 00:08:40,465 Oh, Daddy, you shouldn't have bothered. 164 00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:42,467 It's no bother. What's a few steaks? 165 00:08:42,535 --> 00:08:45,595 - Did you forget the rib roast? - I didn't forget the rib roast. 166 00:08:46,972 --> 00:08:49,338 This is really way too generous. 167 00:08:49,408 --> 00:08:51,603 We're gonna have to get a meat locker. 168 00:08:51,677 --> 00:08:53,611 - When's your birthday? - Oh, no, I-- 169 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,307 I'm just kidding you. We'll cut it down. 170 00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:59,374 Well, gee, this is a beauty, Gus. What would this be, filet mignon? 171 00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,386 Please! The most overrated cut in the industry. 172 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,820 For flavor, you always want a rib steak. 173 00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:08,326 That's this area here, you know? And for tenderness, look to your flanks. 174 00:09:08,394 --> 00:09:10,487 - Hey, watch it. - Daddy, leave his flanks alone. 175 00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:13,862 You should see my peanut wield this cleaver. 176 00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,264 Sharpen 'em up. 177 00:09:16,502 --> 00:09:19,198 You know, sweetie, these single servings are convenient... 178 00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:21,239 but they're much too expensive. 179 00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:24,572 That's how they get you. They're counting on people who don't think. 180 00:09:25,878 --> 00:09:28,972 Oh, you know, honey, ifyou would keep your sharp knives... 181 00:09:29,048 --> 00:09:30,982 right here next to your everyday cutlery... 182 00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,610 you wouldn't have to spend so much time wandering around the kitchen. 183 00:09:33,686 --> 00:09:35,620 They'll be dead in five years. 184 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:45,321 You wanna watch those paws. Mommy's got a knife and she's cranky. 185 00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:48,457 Look at the arm on her. She'd have made a hell ofa butcher. 186 00:09:48,534 --> 00:09:51,002 - Stop criticizing her. - What did I say now? 187 00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:53,630 - She's very fulfilled in her career. - What did I say? 188 00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:56,368 - You said she should be a butcher. - What's wrong with being a butcher? 189 00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:59,843 - She doesn't want to be a butcher. - Who said she did? 190 00:09:59,912 --> 00:10:02,710 I'm the one that broke my back putting her through Yale. 191 00:10:02,781 --> 00:10:04,976 What did I think? She's gonna get a BA in meat? 192 00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:08,611 I'm proud of her. You're the one who's worried about her having kids? 193 00:10:08,687 --> 00:10:11,451 She can have both. I just want her to be happy. 194 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,253 - I am happy. - Then we're happy. 195 00:10:14,326 --> 00:10:17,523 It's after 1 :00 already. You know, you really better get goin'. 196 00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:20,759 I don't mean to push you out, but there might be a line at the box office. 197 00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,597 - Oh, we have our tickets. - You don't want to miss the overture-- 198 00:10:23,669 --> 00:10:25,364 It's not a musical. 199 00:10:25,437 --> 00:10:28,463 - Traffic? - What are you talking about? 200 00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,531 The show doesn't start until 8:00. 201 00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:36,609 - You're not going to the matinee? - No. 202 00:10:36,682 --> 00:10:38,809 We're going to the evening show. 203 00:10:38,884 --> 00:10:41,648 This way, we can spend the whole day with you. 204 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,680 No... kidding? Really? Is that-- Good. That's good. 205 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:50,126 That's really good. That's good. 206 00:10:58,904 --> 00:11:02,635 Lisa, I'm begging you. Please come over now. 207 00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:05,336 You know, I don't care if it awakens your eating disorder. 208 00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:07,504 I can't do this alone. 209 00:11:08,647 --> 00:11:11,343 No, he's no help. He likes them. 210 00:11:12,851 --> 00:11:16,014 Lisa, I'll give you money. 211 00:11:16,088 --> 00:11:19,285 No, seriously. I have my checkbook in my hand. 212 00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:23,158 Fine. I'll send Paul to the cash machine. Please. 213 00:11:23,228 --> 00:11:26,527 Yes. All right, hurry, hurry. Lisa, I love you, I love you. 214 00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:30,864 Yes, cab fare is included. Please. Godspeed. 215 00:11:30,936 --> 00:11:33,928 Thank God. Now they can torture her. 216 00:11:34,006 --> 00:11:35,940 I'm very happy foryou. Hate to bring you down. 217 00:11:36,008 --> 00:11:38,169 Your father tells me we got a slow drain. 218 00:11:38,243 --> 00:11:40,177 No, no, no. That's fabulous. 219 00:11:40,245 --> 00:11:42,338 Fixing that sink could keep him busy for hours. 220 00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:45,474 Mom will be busy torturing Lisa. I'm happy. 221 00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:48,952 This is good. So now you're in the open hostility phase. 222 00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,455 - What are you talking about? - Every time they come, you do this. 223 00:11:51,523 --> 00:11:53,753 You start off, you're happy, then you get manic... 224 00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:57,694 then you have that repressed hostility, and now the open hostility. 225 00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:03,062 You see, honey, you had your hair clog right here in this section. 226 00:12:03,135 --> 00:12:06,229 All I had to do was remove the trap, clean it out... 227 00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:08,239 reassemble the pipe, and bingo. 228 00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:10,434 He's very handy, your father. Ten minutes it took him. 229 00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:13,706 Oh, that's nothing. Would've taken me five, but I had to use a butter knife. 230 00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:15,770 Let me tell you something. You know what you need? 231 00:12:15,848 --> 00:12:17,907 A good wrench and a set ofscrewdrivers. 232 00:12:17,983 --> 00:12:20,178 - I always wanted to get a lathe. - Why? 233 00:12:20,252 --> 00:12:22,777 - Daddy, you're dripping. - Take it from me, Pauly. 234 00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:25,323 You want to cut your teeth on a simple starter set. 235 00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:28,450 - You want a lathe, you gotta earn it. - I think I could handle it. 236 00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:31,985 No, Pauly, trust me. A lathe is way too much tool foryou. 237 00:12:33,298 --> 00:12:36,358 Well, I gotta disagree with you, Gus. 238 00:12:36,435 --> 00:12:38,369 I don't like to toot my own horn... 239 00:12:38,437 --> 00:12:41,531 but in wood shop, just so happens I got a B-plus. 240 00:12:41,607 --> 00:12:44,201 It's okay. You don't have to prove yourselfto me. 241 00:12:44,276 --> 00:12:46,210 - Oh, Daddy, you're dripping! - Give me this. 242 00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:49,338 Why didn't you say something? Would you look at that piece ofcrap! 243 00:12:49,414 --> 00:12:52,406 None ofthis would've happened ifyou kids had decent pipes. 244 00:12:52,484 --> 00:12:55,419 I nstead they had to cut corners. They used that nickel-plated junk. 245 00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:58,547 I'm telling you, there's no pride in workmanship in this country. 246 00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:01,218 Daddy, please don't criticize our pipes. 247 00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:04,456 - You know who's good at plumbing? - Who? 248 00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:07,966 - Canadians. - I never knew that. 249 00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,967 - Common knowledge. - Really? 250 00:13:10,035 --> 00:13:13,527 That's what they're known for. Bacon, hockey and pipes. 251 00:13:15,207 --> 00:13:17,971 I guess you never see a clog in Montreal, huh? 252 00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:20,841 Hey, did I tell you about the clog Mom and I had at the house? 253 00:13:20,913 --> 00:13:24,508 - Yeah. Yes, you did. - Sweetie, tell him about our big clog. 254 00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:28,110 - We had a big clog. - This is what we heard. 255 00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:29,677 It's Lisa! 256 00:13:32,491 --> 00:13:34,755 - They're talking about the clog. - Show me the cash. 257 00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,761 - What tookyou so long? - I had to stop at every food cart... 258 00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,763 between here and my place. 259 00:13:38,831 --> 00:13:41,800 Hi, sweet pea. You're all skin and bones. 260 00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:44,597 Oh, baby! 261 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,104 Oh, I made you brownies. Double fudge. 262 00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:49,640 - Mmm, thanks. - Are you gonna finish that pretzel? 263 00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:51,642 Hey, take it. I had three on the way over. 264 00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:54,372 Ooh, you don't need that salt. 265 00:13:54,446 --> 00:13:59,008 Mom, don't treat him like a baby. He is old enough to make his own food choices. 266 00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:01,609 Isn't it nice to have the whole family together like this? 267 00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:05,248 I don't want to hog all of Mom and Dad's time, Lisa. They're all yours. 268 00:14:05,324 --> 00:14:07,258 - Where are you going? - I'm gonna make some popcorn. 269 00:14:07,326 --> 00:14:10,727 - Buttered. - Start earning your money. 270 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,933 Honey, I love your outfit. 271 00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:20,972 But wouldn't it look a little nicer ifyou just filled it out a little bit? 272 00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:25,237 She's so skinny. You don't have that bulimia thing again, do you? 273 00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,074 No. And if I did, which I don't... 274 00:14:28,146 --> 00:14:30,080 I wouldn't tell you because I wouldn't realize it. 275 00:14:30,148 --> 00:14:32,241 That's how it works. 276 00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:37,021 How's thejob hunting going? I mean, a smart girl like you... 277 00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:40,684 with three years ofcollege shouldn't have any trouble finding a job. 278 00:14:40,759 --> 00:14:44,320 Well, considering it's a recession, my unemployment runs out in two weeks... 279 00:14:44,396 --> 00:14:47,888 and I have no skills, I think it's going pretty well. 280 00:14:47,966 --> 00:14:51,732 Remember, you can always come back home. 281 00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:54,597 I'd rather die. 282 00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:04,137 Honey? Honey, that's really quite enough salt. 283 00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:07,947 Your father's blood pressure is going up. He's in the other room. 284 00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:10,113 - How's Lisa doing? - Not bad. 285 00:15:10,188 --> 00:15:12,588 She's demolishing the brownies and your parents at the same time. 286 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,320 - Really? - I never thought I'd say this... 287 00:15:15,394 --> 00:15:17,862 but you could actually learn something from her. 288 00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,795 She's standing up to them. 289 00:15:19,865 --> 00:15:21,799 Oh, like I can't! 290 00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:24,563 No, you could. 291 00:15:24,636 --> 00:15:27,799 But I thinkyou enjoy letting your parents turn you into a walking tic. 292 00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:30,433 Like your family's the picture of mental health. 293 00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:34,036 No, but we don't go around pretending that we like each other all the time. 294 00:15:34,112 --> 00:15:38,879 Look who's talking, Mr. Suck-Up. ''May I curl your lemon twist?'' 295 00:15:41,353 --> 00:15:44,117 So what, I'm in trouble for being nice to your parents? 296 00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:47,750 - It's not exactly a picnic for me. - Oh, you've been having a great time. 297 00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:50,727 Oh, yeah, great time. Your father makes fun of my doorknob... 298 00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:53,959 and then he casts aspersions on my manhood. 299 00:15:54,032 --> 00:15:55,363 Your manhood? 300 00:15:55,434 --> 00:15:58,835 Yeah. You know, I happen to think I could handle a lathe. 301 00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:03,272 - I doubt it. - Oh, you're pleasant. 302 00:16:03,342 --> 00:16:07,244 Right. I'm just awful. You should've married that girl with the nosejob. 303 00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:12,874 You're so cruel. The woman had a deviated septum. 304 00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:15,819 They all do. 305 00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,956 This is perfect. This happens every time. 306 00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:22,186 They push you to the brink, and then what do you do? 307 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:24,785 - You take it out on me. - I'm not taking it out on you. 308 00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:28,424 So how come they're out there, and I'm in here being picked on by the peanut? 309 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,697 - You know what? Don't call me that. - What's wrong with ''peanut''? 310 00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:35,501 Nothing, ifyou have a hat and a cane and live on the side ofa jar. 311 00:16:37,142 --> 00:16:39,872 - I hate that name. - Well, then tell them that. 312 00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:42,243 - I would love to tell them that. - Well, you should. 313 00:16:43,615 --> 00:16:46,311 - I should just go tell them that. - I'm agreeing. 314 00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:48,683 J ust nicely, without twitching. 315 00:16:49,988 --> 00:16:52,684 So, is this Steven a nice boy? 316 00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:57,593 Yes, but he's not a boy. He's a man. A married man. 317 00:16:58,697 --> 00:17:00,460 Where did we go wrong with her? 318 00:17:00,532 --> 00:17:04,366 Mom, Daddy, I have something to say to you. 319 00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:08,631 - Didn't that used to be over there? - Wasn't I right? 320 00:17:08,707 --> 00:17:10,607 Use it. 321 00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:13,735 Mom, Daddy, I have something to say to you. 322 00:17:13,812 --> 00:17:16,337 - She's pregnant! - Oh, that's why she's so moody. 323 00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:19,543 No, no, no. I'm neither pregnant nor moody. 324 00:17:19,618 --> 00:17:22,587 - You know I love you. - Oh, we love you too, honey. 325 00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:25,646 Thankyou. I'm not a baby anymore-- 326 00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:30,218 But you were a beautiful baby. Had a full head of hair the dayyou were born. 327 00:17:30,295 --> 00:17:34,197 Not like our Lisa. She was our little cue ball. 328 00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:36,700 I think I'll start going to therapy three times a week. 329 00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:39,430 - You two are so cute together. - They always were. 330 00:17:39,504 --> 00:17:42,803 Oh, do you remember the song they used to do? 331 00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:45,809 Oh, these girls one Christmas saw on TV a movie. 332 00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:48,539 And while I'm still sleeping, they make up this whole routine. 333 00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:52,071 It's their present to me. It's the best present I ever had in my life. 334 00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,141 - What was the song? - It's not important. 335 00:17:54,219 --> 00:17:58,178 Ofcourse it is. Do you want to hear the song, Paul? 336 00:17:58,256 --> 00:17:59,985 - Well, listen-- - No! 337 00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:02,788 What I was trying to say is that we're adults now. 338 00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:06,763 You're right. You're right. I guess we can never get the past back. 339 00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:09,062 - Exactly. - It's just that sometimes... 340 00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:13,628 when we're together like this, I miss the way we used to be. 341 00:18:13,705 --> 00:18:14,694 Oh, Gus. 342 00:18:14,773 --> 00:18:18,231 Who knows how many visits like this we'll have together. 343 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:21,802 I just wish we had a video camera back then. 344 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,644 I guess I'll never hear that song again. 345 00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:30,177 Sisters, sisters 346 00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:33,656 There were never such devotedsisters 347 00:18:33,725 --> 00:18:37,320 Neverhadto have a chaperone No, sir 348 00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:40,853 I'm here to keep my eye on her 349 00:18:40,932 --> 00:18:44,390 Caring, sharing 350 00:18:44,469 --> 00:18:47,768 Every little thing that we are wearing 351 00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:51,206 When a certaingentleman arrivedfrom Rome 352 00:18:51,276 --> 00:18:54,609 She wore the dress andIstayhome 353 00:18:54,679 --> 00:18:57,978 Lordhelp the mister 354 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:01,382 Who comes between me andmysister 355 00:19:01,453 --> 00:19:04,980 AndLordhelp thesister 356 00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:09,425 Who comes between me andmyman 357 00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:21,664 - That was wonderful! - Beautiful. It really took me back. 358 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,470 - Yeah, it was just amazing, peanut. - Shut up. 359 00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:41,422 - Is it safe? - Almost. 360 00:19:41,493 --> 00:19:45,122 All that's left is this stabbing pain behind my right eye. 361 00:19:45,997 --> 00:19:48,192 Did your mother move our bed? 362 00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:49,995 Only a few inches. 363 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:52,559 What happened to that picture of my mom? 364 00:19:52,637 --> 00:19:55,105 It's so strange. I'm 30 years old. 365 00:19:55,173 --> 00:19:58,301 I'm married. I have a home. I have a job. 366 00:19:58,376 --> 00:20:00,844 How come my parents can still push all my buttons? 367 00:20:00,912 --> 00:20:03,073 Oh, well, that's easy. 368 00:20:04,382 --> 00:20:06,316 They installed them. 369 00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:10,982 - You were really good today. - I was a saint. 370 00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:13,991 Really. You're the best husband in the whole world. 371 00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,651 - You're not kidding. - I owe you my life. 372 00:20:15,727 --> 00:20:17,888 And 300 clams I had to payyour sister. 373 00:20:17,963 --> 00:20:19,055 I'm good for it. 374 00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:24,430 You know, the only punishment cruel and unusual enough foryour parents... 375 00:20:24,502 --> 00:20:27,335 would be to spend the weekend with my parents. 376 00:20:27,405 --> 00:20:29,339 Come on. It wasn't that bad. 377 00:20:29,407 --> 00:20:33,901 Hello? Were you here today? Did you see what went on? 378 00:20:33,979 --> 00:20:37,244 I know. But every time they leave, I kind of miss them. 379 00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:41,245 Oh, God. 380 00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:47,247 If I askyou something, will you answer me honestly? 381 00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:48,986 Ofcourse. 382 00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:53,363 Don't you think I sing better than Lisa? 383 00:20:56,101 --> 00:20:57,932 Excuse me? 384 00:20:58,003 --> 00:21:01,530 I n the act. Maybe it's just me, but I thought she was flat. 32528

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