All language subtitles for en0102

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional) Download
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,888 --> 00:00:10,753 What's wrong with this picture? 2 00:00:10,823 --> 00:00:12,051 What? 3 00:00:12,125 --> 00:00:16,255 - You're on my side of the bed. - I know. I thought we'd switch. 4 00:00:16,329 --> 00:00:19,526 - Why? - Just for a change. 5 00:00:25,138 --> 00:00:27,470 Why would you do that? 6 00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:30,202 I mean, where does that come from? Did you read something? 7 00:00:30,276 --> 00:00:33,712 No. Just my idea. 8 00:00:39,285 --> 00:00:42,914 - I don't know about this. - Just try it. Live on the edge. 9 00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:47,220 You're way too madcap for me. 10 00:00:49,462 --> 00:00:51,828 It's safe. I've slept there. 11 00:01:01,707 --> 00:01:04,141 Are you okay? 12 00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:06,201 Still assessing. 13 00:01:06,279 --> 00:01:07,803 Good night. 14 00:01:15,521 --> 00:01:16,852 How's the sun? 15 00:01:18,291 --> 00:01:19,724 Excuse me? 16 00:01:19,792 --> 00:01:21,316 In the morning. 17 00:01:21,394 --> 00:01:24,886 Does it just hit you on the face lightly and wake you gently... 18 00:01:24,964 --> 00:01:29,128 or is it more like a sudden, shocking burst ofday? 19 00:01:31,637 --> 00:01:33,935 It's just like here, only there. 20 00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:38,999 Well, I'm just asking. You know. 21 00:01:39,078 --> 00:01:41,512 "Be prepared"-- That's my motto. 22 00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:45,677 Do you have a motto yourself? 23 00:01:45,751 --> 00:01:49,380 "Never marry anyone more neurotic than yourself." Go to sleep. 24 00:01:49,455 --> 00:01:51,821 "Go to sleep." I'd be halfway to dreamland... 25 00:01:51,891 --> 00:01:54,758 if you didn't throw me this curve. 26 00:01:54,827 --> 00:01:57,421 What am I supposed to think? You make a big decision like this... 27 00:01:57,497 --> 00:01:59,488 you don't even consult me. 28 00:01:59,565 --> 00:02:03,126 I'm a person. I've got needs. I have a certain way I like to-- 29 00:02:03,202 --> 00:02:06,296 You just throw this at me, and-- 30 00:02:06,372 --> 00:02:08,932 - The whole thing makes me uneasy. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. 31 00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:14,879 There's a right way, there's a wrong way. 32 00:02:19,585 --> 00:02:21,485 - You happy now? - This is not my pillow. 33 00:02:21,554 --> 00:02:23,249 Oh, come on. 34 00:02:37,036 --> 00:02:39,129 Tell me why 35 00:02:39,205 --> 00:02:41,036 I love you like I do 36 00:02:41,107 --> 00:02:42,734 Tell me who 37 00:02:42,808 --> 00:02:45,174 Can start my heart as much as you 38 00:02:45,244 --> 00:02:46,871 Let's take each other's hand 39 00:02:46,946 --> 00:02:51,110 As we jump into the final frontier 40 00:02:51,184 --> 00:02:53,709 I'm mad about you, baby 41 00:02:53,786 --> 00:02:56,118 Yeah 42 00:02:56,189 --> 00:02:58,680 I'm mad about you 43 00:03:15,007 --> 00:03:17,168 Oh, this is pleasant. 44 00:03:17,243 --> 00:03:20,076 "The bullet-ridden body was identified by police... 45 00:03:20,146 --> 00:03:22,307 as 31-year-old Eric Gottleib... 46 00:03:22,381 --> 00:03:25,475 who was found Thursday morning in the shower of his apartment. 47 00:03:25,551 --> 00:03:27,678 Who's Gottleib? 48 00:03:29,021 --> 00:03:32,013 "Who's Gottleib"? That's your question? "Who's Gottleib"? 49 00:03:32,091 --> 00:03:34,616 Am I supposed to know the name? 'Cause I don't. 50 00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:37,424 You're not supposed to know the name. I'm just saying it's unbelievable. 51 00:03:37,496 --> 00:03:39,327 A guy shot is his apartment. 52 00:03:39,398 --> 00:03:42,333 What are you, new in town? 53 00:03:42,401 --> 00:03:45,370 I understand, but this is a couple of blocks from us. 54 00:03:45,438 --> 00:03:47,702 - Are you gonna help me? - Yeah. 55 00:03:47,773 --> 00:03:50,003 You know what? Maybe I should get a gun. 56 00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:53,637 That's what this city needs: you with a gun. 57 00:03:53,713 --> 00:03:56,273 I could learn how to use it. They teach you. 58 00:03:56,349 --> 00:03:59,546 - Don't you want me to protect you? - No, I want you to help me. 59 00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:01,348 What? What? 60 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,718 How can I help you, sweet woman that I love? 61 00:04:03,789 --> 00:04:05,416 Hold this. 62 00:04:09,762 --> 00:04:12,196 For a long time? 63 00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:13,698 For one second. 64 00:04:13,766 --> 00:04:15,358 Could you give me a clue what we're doing? 65 00:04:15,434 --> 00:04:18,733 It's a template for the couch I saw. This way we can see if it'll fit. 66 00:04:18,804 --> 00:04:21,272 - Here. Hold this. - I thought you measured already. 67 00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:24,309 I did, but it doesn't look right. 68 00:04:24,377 --> 00:04:26,345 Hey. Take it easy. 69 00:04:26,412 --> 00:04:29,347 A friend of my cousin was blinded by one ofthese things. 70 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:32,714 Seriously. The guy let go too fast, it snapped up, took his eye right out. 71 00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:37,417 That's right. Slow and nice. Nobody gets hurt. 72 00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:40,391 - Could you lie on it? - I'm not gonna lie on it. 73 00:04:40,459 --> 00:04:43,223 J ust lie on it. 74 00:04:46,198 --> 00:04:47,756 How does it feel? 75 00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:50,324 It feels hard. 76 00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:52,735 - Lengthwise. - Lengthwise, it's good. 77 00:04:52,805 --> 00:04:54,796 Okay, sit up. 78 00:04:54,874 --> 00:04:57,342 That's us. 79 00:04:57,410 --> 00:05:00,641 It's 60 inches, but I don't know if that's total width or between the arms. 80 00:05:00,713 --> 00:05:02,112 - Total width. - Really? 81 00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:03,546 No idea. 82 00:05:05,751 --> 00:05:07,446 Come to the store and look at the couch. 83 00:05:08,754 --> 00:05:10,415 - You're good. - What? 84 00:05:10,489 --> 00:05:14,050 I agree to lie on cardboard, and you hook that into a shopping thing. 85 00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:16,219 It's not a shopping thing. It'll take 1 5 minutes. 86 00:05:16,295 --> 00:05:18,889 - Hello. - A half-hour at the most. 87 00:05:18,964 --> 00:05:22,058 - So you figure two hours? - I promise. 88 00:05:22,134 --> 00:05:24,193 Come here, sweetheart. Let me explain something to you. 89 00:05:24,270 --> 00:05:27,433 You should jot this down, 'cause this is really important. 90 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:31,442 Everything in the world takes four hours. 91 00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:34,604 You got to go there, you got to do whatever-- 92 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:37,274 eat, talk about where you should have eaten, and then come home. 93 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,147 That's four hours, minimum. 94 00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:41,015 We could have been there and back by now. 95 00:05:41,087 --> 00:05:44,853 And besides, it's Saturday, and I've got better things to do. 96 00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,255 Like what? 97 00:05:46,325 --> 00:05:49,988 Like-- Like-- Why do I have to go? 98 00:05:50,062 --> 00:05:53,725 Because. Because it's a decision we should make together. 99 00:05:53,799 --> 00:05:55,824 But I don't-- You bought the toaster without me. 100 00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:58,426 I'm still hearing about the faulty crumb tray. 101 00:05:58,504 --> 00:06:00,529 It happens to be a hazard. 102 00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:05,601 Oh, yeah. You should get a gun. 103 00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:17,721 I am unhappy already. 104 00:06:17,790 --> 00:06:21,658 - You've been here three minutes. - That's how long it takes. 105 00:06:21,727 --> 00:06:23,786 - Ah, God. - Now what? 106 00:06:23,863 --> 00:06:26,957 I think that lady with the cologne sample sprayed me in the eye. 107 00:06:28,067 --> 00:06:29,898 - You asked for it. - I did not. 108 00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:32,494 She asked you ifyou wanted to try it, and you said yes. 109 00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:35,934 - What was I supposed to say? - How about no? 110 00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:39,340 If I could say no, would I be here right now? 111 00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:41,676 Come on. It's not that bad. 112 00:06:42,982 --> 00:06:45,212 Smell my eye. 113 00:06:46,118 --> 00:06:48,313 This is the best cookie I ever had in my life. 114 00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:51,618 For $1 1 , you would think so. 115 00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:54,454 - Where is this guy? - All right, I'll go get him. Here. 116 00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:55,687 - That's yours. - I can't. 117 00:06:55,761 --> 00:06:57,888 What are you giving it to me for? J ust throw it out. 118 00:06:57,963 --> 00:07:01,626 - I'm not gonna throw it out. - I won't walk around with a cookie. 119 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:04,328 I don't have pockets, and I won't put it in my purse. 120 00:07:04,403 --> 00:07:07,668 I'm sorry. I was in the back. Well, I see you finally... 121 00:07:07,740 --> 00:07:09,230 dragged him in here. 122 00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:11,742 - Phillip, this is my husband, Paul. - Hi. 123 00:07:13,179 --> 00:07:15,841 Musk! 124 00:07:15,915 --> 00:07:18,315 I believe you were thinking about... 125 00:07:18,384 --> 00:07:20,375 the tea-dipped I rish linen. 126 00:07:20,453 --> 00:07:22,318 Take this. 127 00:07:22,388 --> 00:07:25,619 - Those are so good! - Here. 128 00:07:27,126 --> 00:07:28,115 - Really? - Please. 129 00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:29,889 Thankyou. 130 00:07:30,529 --> 00:07:33,965 - So do we love it? - We love it. Let's buy it and go. 131 00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,433 Would you come over here and sit on it with me, please? 132 00:07:37,703 --> 00:07:38,931 I'm gonna just sit. 133 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,610 - God, I don't know. - What don't you know? 134 00:07:50,683 --> 00:07:54,278 I don't know if it's us. I'm imagining what it'll look like in our apartment. 135 00:07:54,353 --> 00:07:57,322 Do you have one with dog hair already on it? 136 00:07:57,389 --> 00:08:01,052 Maybe a couple ofthose hair things with the gold balls? 137 00:08:01,126 --> 00:08:03,594 Ponytail holders? I'm sorry, sir. We can't do that. 138 00:08:03,662 --> 00:08:05,960 They can't do that. I asked him. They won't do it. 139 00:08:06,031 --> 00:08:08,363 I'm kidding. We'll take it. Wrap it up, put it in a bag. 140 00:08:08,434 --> 00:08:11,028 I'm not sure. I'm sorry. I'm not sure. 141 00:08:11,103 --> 00:08:14,595 You're unbelievable, you know that? You make these big decisions at work... 142 00:08:14,673 --> 00:08:18,268 deal with million-dollar corporations, and you are stymied by this couch. 143 00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:20,244 Because we're going to have it for a long time. 144 00:08:20,312 --> 00:08:23,406 Hey, you're gonna have me for a long time, and that decision took 30 seconds. 145 00:08:23,482 --> 00:08:25,473 Boy, did I learn my lesson. 146 00:08:27,019 --> 00:08:29,351 Meanwhile, we're in week three ofthis thing... 147 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,321 and by the time we get it, it's gonna be an antique. 148 00:08:31,390 --> 00:08:34,086 do you think we should get an antique? Because that's another way to go. 149 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:36,320 Rip out my tongue. 150 00:08:37,229 --> 00:08:39,891 Look, everything we have is either from my life oryour life. 151 00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:42,456 This is the first thing that will be from our life. 152 00:08:42,535 --> 00:08:44,696 Honey, you're putting a lot of pressure on this purchase. 153 00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:47,637 Because ifwe get the wrong couch, it'll be like we failed. 154 00:08:47,706 --> 00:08:51,665 Every time we walk in the door,. there it'll be, mocking us. 155 00:08:52,511 --> 00:08:54,570 Remind me later to give you a smack, huh? 156 00:08:54,647 --> 00:08:57,707 - Tell me I'm wrong. - You're very wrong.J ust get the couch. 157 00:08:57,783 --> 00:09:00,217 I'm gonna wait and ask Fran what she thinks. 158 00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,550 Fran's coming here? 159 00:09:03,622 --> 00:09:05,954 It's Saturday. She might. 160 00:09:08,494 --> 00:09:11,054 This whole day is like a covert operation with you. 161 00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:14,429 - I just want to be sure. - I'm sure enough for both of us. 162 00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:16,900 Let's get the couch and continue our lives. 163 00:09:19,038 --> 00:09:21,165 You're right. You're right. We'll take it. 164 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,574 Wonderful. As far as I'm concerned, it's the best love seat in the store. 165 00:09:26,612 --> 00:09:29,979 - The best what? - The best love seat. By far. 166 00:09:31,450 --> 00:09:34,908 - This is not a couch? - No. It's a love seat. 167 00:09:34,987 --> 00:09:37,615 And the difference there would be what? 168 00:09:37,690 --> 00:09:39,988 Nothing, really. Size, I suppose. 169 00:09:40,059 --> 00:09:42,926 - It's like a small couch. - Precisely. 170 00:09:42,995 --> 00:09:45,463 But it's not a couch. 171 00:09:45,531 --> 00:09:47,431 - It's a love seat. - That is correct. 172 00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:49,057 Honey, it's the same thing. 173 00:09:49,134 --> 00:09:51,534 You would think that, but Phillip is telling me different. 174 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:55,803 It is a love seat. A divan. 175 00:09:55,874 --> 00:09:57,933 - Some people call it a settee. - You see? 176 00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:01,207 So the one thing you can't call it is a couch. 177 00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:05,410 It's a love seat. It really is. 178 00:10:05,484 --> 00:10:07,452 Excuse me forjust a moment. 179 00:10:08,854 --> 00:10:11,288 - You're kidding me, right? - What? 180 00:10:11,357 --> 00:10:12,824 You care what it's called? 181 00:10:12,891 --> 00:10:15,121 No, I don't care what it's called. 182 00:10:15,194 --> 00:10:19,324 As a couch, I liked it, and as a love seat, not so much. 183 00:10:19,398 --> 00:10:21,161 Okay. 184 00:10:21,233 --> 00:10:23,224 Can I ask why? 185 00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:27,767 First ofall, it's just a stupid term. It's just stupid. 186 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,536 And second ofall, I don't need the responsibility. 187 00:10:31,343 --> 00:10:34,107 -Responsibility? -Yeah, because you can relax on a couch. 188 00:10:34,179 --> 00:10:37,615 On a love seat, I feel like I have to be necking. 189 00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:40,709 You know what I mean? What ifyou're not home? I can't sit on this alone? 190 00:10:40,786 --> 00:10:42,811 - I can'tjust read a book? - You can sit with a book. 191 00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:46,654 Ofcourse I can, but in my head I'm gonna know it's wrong. 192 00:10:47,526 --> 00:10:50,120 I never should have brought you. This is my punishment. 193 00:10:50,195 --> 00:10:52,993 I'll tell you what would make me nuts: Ifsomeone was over, and I said, "Hey... 194 00:10:53,065 --> 00:10:55,659 throw yourjacket on the couch," and they said, "What couch? 195 00:10:55,734 --> 00:10:57,861 Oh, you mean the love seat?" That would kill me. 196 00:10:57,936 --> 00:10:59,870 - It would just kill me. - That's not gonna happen! 197 00:10:59,938 --> 00:11:02,065 - It only has to happen once. - Honey, I'm begging. 198 00:11:02,141 --> 00:11:04,268 - Now my afternoon's complete. - Did you get it? 199 00:11:04,343 --> 00:11:06,607 - We're not sure. - It's gorgeous. 200 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:07,668 - Really? - Yes. 201 00:11:07,746 --> 00:11:11,409 Hey, I like it. It's like a love seat. 202 00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:19,457 - Ooh, this is cute. - Who do they make these for? 203 00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:23,461 What are they thinking? Ifyou're not a pencil, they don't want you to live. 204 00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:24,962 This would look good on you. 205 00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:28,989 Yeah, it would fit great if I could take my ass off. 206 00:11:31,937 --> 00:11:34,770 I hope Paul's okay. I told him 1 5 minutes. He hates department stores. 207 00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:36,501 - Really? - Doesn't Mark? 208 00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:38,372 Who asks? 209 00:11:47,119 --> 00:11:50,111 You know, Mark, this is time you never get back. 210 00:11:52,491 --> 00:11:54,721 There are only X amount ofSaturdays left... 211 00:11:54,793 --> 00:11:57,353 and I'm spending this one sitting on a love seat... 212 00:11:57,429 --> 00:11:59,226 holding a pocketbook. 213 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:04,258 You got an emery board in there? 214 00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:07,066 - I'm gonna punch you in the head. - I got this piece of nail-- 215 00:12:07,139 --> 00:12:09,403 Bite it off!. Be a man! 216 00:12:13,245 --> 00:12:15,577 - Mark did that? - Yep. 217 00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,343 It wasn't even our regular night. 218 00:12:20,552 --> 00:12:22,349 - You're kidding. - I swear to God. 219 00:12:22,421 --> 00:12:24,548 How did you get him to do that? 220 00:12:24,623 --> 00:12:26,318 I bought it... 221 00:12:26,391 --> 00:12:28,484 and I said, "Wear it." 222 00:12:30,329 --> 00:12:32,524 - And? - He wore it. 223 00:12:34,266 --> 00:12:36,928 So what they do is they toast the sandwich... 224 00:12:37,002 --> 00:12:39,971 so it has this nice burnt taste. 225 00:12:40,038 --> 00:12:42,268 - Crispy? - Very crispy. 226 00:12:42,341 --> 00:12:45,242 I don't know whyyou torture me, 'cause you know we're gonna die in here. 227 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:49,838 I'm telling you, the flavor explodes in your mouth. 228 00:12:49,915 --> 00:12:52,645 It's like ambrosia, but with cheese. 229 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,584 I wonder if Phillip finished that cookie. 230 00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:05,796 - That hurt. You see that? - What's that? 231 00:13:05,864 --> 00:13:08,162 Those girls. They're virtually naked. 232 00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:09,530 Oh, yeah. 233 00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:13,594 But I'm a gynecologist. You know how many naked women I see in a day? 234 00:13:13,672 --> 00:13:16,436 But Mark, this isn't work. This is life. 235 00:13:16,508 --> 00:13:20,535 Two beautiful women walk by and leave a wake of perfume, you're allowed to look. 236 00:13:20,612 --> 00:13:23,513 Oh, believe me, I look. Oh, sure. All the time. 237 00:13:23,582 --> 00:13:25,209 But never in the office. 238 00:13:25,284 --> 00:13:30,312 Because once that white coat comes on, the libido goes off. 239 00:13:30,389 --> 00:13:32,050 Wow. You can do that? 240 00:13:32,124 --> 00:13:34,115 I have to. It's myjob. 241 00:13:34,193 --> 00:13:36,525 I'm a doctor. 242 00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:39,860 You're telling me that you wouldn't want to have... 243 00:13:39,932 --> 00:13:43,197 a gorgeous young model as a patient instead of-- 244 00:13:43,268 --> 00:13:44,895 Oh, no. 245 00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:46,995 From where I sit... 246 00:13:47,072 --> 00:13:49,267 there's no difference. 247 00:13:49,341 --> 00:13:51,901 Come on. Let's look at some slacks. 248 00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:55,310 - "Slacks." Who says "slacks"? - Slacks. Trousers. 249 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:58,008 Forget it. Trying on clothes is my least favorite thing to do... 250 00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:01,177 especially slacks, because you've got the whole shoe thing. 251 00:14:01,253 --> 00:14:04,654 - You know what you should do. - You're gonna give me a loafer lecture. 252 00:14:04,723 --> 00:14:08,420 You get a pair of loafers, you kick 'em off, you slip 'em on. 253 00:14:08,493 --> 00:14:12,088 I like laces. You can tighten and loosen. You have control. 254 00:14:12,164 --> 00:14:16,294 It was so passionate. I just wanted to lie there quietly and enjoy it. 255 00:14:16,368 --> 00:14:19,303 He wouldn't stop talking. 256 00:14:19,371 --> 00:14:21,168 Paul's a chatterbox. 257 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,300 I was actually praying he would roll over and go to sleep. 258 00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:26,708 You don't know how luckyyou are. 259 00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:31,738 By the time I'm finished, Mark's in the kitchen making a sandwich. 260 00:14:32,818 --> 00:14:34,786 I wear these. 261 00:14:35,988 --> 00:14:38,980 - Did I really need to know this? - Fran loves them. 262 00:14:39,057 --> 00:14:41,958 These are for men who live in Crete. 263 00:14:44,229 --> 00:14:48,188 Could I askyou something? Would you mind trying this sweater on? 264 00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:52,897 It's for my son, and you seem to be the right size. 265 00:14:52,971 --> 00:14:55,098 You know, ordinarily, I would. I really would. 266 00:14:55,173 --> 00:14:58,199 It's just that I am sadly allergic to alpaca. 267 00:14:59,077 --> 00:15:02,274 - I'll try it on forya. - Nah. You're too round-shouldered. 268 00:15:02,347 --> 00:15:05,111 - I'm round-shouldered? - I didn't want to say. 269 00:15:06,118 --> 00:15:09,781 But this one here, you're a skinny-merink, just like my Barry. 270 00:15:09,855 --> 00:15:11,755 Come on. 271 00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,552 - Hold my purse. - Sure. 272 00:15:13,625 --> 00:15:17,459 - This'll only take a second. - It'll be four hours, but why not? 273 00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:19,963 Don't be a smart-mouth. 274 00:15:20,032 --> 00:15:22,193 So where is Barry today? 275 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:24,360 Who knows? We don't speak. 276 00:15:25,671 --> 00:15:29,402 Oh, my. You don't have much ofa behind. 277 00:15:29,474 --> 00:15:30,839 Sorry about that. 278 00:15:30,909 --> 00:15:33,969 I like it. Cranberry's very good on you. 279 00:15:34,046 --> 00:15:36,378 Do me a favor. Go slam your head in that mirror, please. 280 00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:38,712 Don't slouch. Stand up straight. 281 00:15:38,784 --> 00:15:40,809 - You want to look like your friend? - No. 282 00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:46,315 I think it would look good on Barry. 283 00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:49,258 But on you, it looks-- eh. 284 00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:53,029 It's not that he gets lazy. 285 00:15:53,098 --> 00:15:57,125 'Cause actually Mark is as aggressive as he was before we got married. 286 00:15:57,202 --> 00:15:59,466 - That's great. - You would think. 287 00:16:01,106 --> 00:16:03,700 Oh! My pores are out ofcontrol. 288 00:16:03,775 --> 00:16:05,902 I don't know. It's this light. I lookjaundiced. 289 00:16:05,978 --> 00:16:07,969 You know, the store does this on purpose. 290 00:16:08,046 --> 00:16:10,310 They make us look as ugly as possible... 291 00:16:10,382 --> 00:16:12,475 so we'll buy more stuff to cover it up. 292 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:17,386 - Clothes, makeup-- - Absolutely right. A conspiracy. 293 00:16:19,858 --> 00:16:21,382 I love it! 294 00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:23,155 See? 295 00:16:24,997 --> 00:16:26,521 What happened here? 296 00:16:27,532 --> 00:16:30,729 This light fell down and almost hit my friend in the head. 297 00:16:32,004 --> 00:16:34,268 I was this close to a concussion. 298 00:16:34,339 --> 00:16:38,673 Oh. I am so sorry That's never happened. 299 00:16:38,744 --> 00:16:40,336 Can we get you girls something? 300 00:16:40,412 --> 00:16:43,210 Yeah. Two cappuccinos would be great. 301 00:16:43,281 --> 00:16:45,249 And a couple ofthose big cookies. 302 00:16:51,623 --> 00:16:54,990 Was I right or was I right? Have you ever felt a lighter weave? 303 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:56,823 Never. Hey, hey, hey! 304 00:16:56,895 --> 00:17:00,262 Some ofthat's not pants. 305 00:17:00,332 --> 00:17:02,857 Here. Try these on. They're like butter. 306 00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:06,995 - I told you, no tassels. - Paul, tassels are in. Get hip. 307 00:17:07,072 --> 00:17:09,097 You know, whenJamie first met you... 308 00:17:09,174 --> 00:17:12,143 she was repulsed by the wayyou dressed. 309 00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:14,110 - She told you that? - Yeah. 310 00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:16,977 I remember, I was examining her, and she was telling me... 311 00:17:17,049 --> 00:17:21,213 about this great guy that she'd met named Paul who dressed... 312 00:17:21,286 --> 00:17:24,653 like a manic-depressive psych professor. 313 00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:28,993 You know, Mark, you used the word there, you got me a little stuck. 314 00:17:31,830 --> 00:17:34,025 - You examined her? - Yeah. 315 00:17:34,099 --> 00:17:37,068 Before I moved my practice uptown, Jamie was a patient. 316 00:17:37,903 --> 00:17:39,530 - I never knew that. - Yeah. 317 00:17:39,604 --> 00:17:42,937 Fran referred her to me back whenJamie was working for her. 318 00:17:43,008 --> 00:17:45,033 So when you sayyou examined her... 319 00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:49,137 she came in for a verbal consultation, something like that? 320 00:17:49,214 --> 00:17:53,082 No, no, no. It was an examination. 321 00:17:53,151 --> 00:17:55,483 I remember it like it was yesterday. 322 00:17:55,554 --> 00:17:59,422 She was in the stirrups when she told me about you. 323 00:18:00,425 --> 00:18:02,689 - I n the stirrups? - Yeah. 324 00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:05,787 - My wife? - Please, Paul, I'm a doctor. 325 00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:09,128 While I'm going out with her, you examined-- 326 00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,726 Yeah, once every six months. 327 00:18:11,803 --> 00:18:14,067 - You okay? - I'm fine. 328 00:18:14,139 --> 00:18:16,471 Oh, God. Oh, boy. Oh, my. 329 00:18:16,541 --> 00:18:19,374 You're hyperventilating. Here, here. Aw, geez. 330 00:18:19,444 --> 00:18:21,639 Paul, just breathe. 331 00:18:21,713 --> 00:18:23,681 Fran! Fran! 332 00:18:26,251 --> 00:18:29,743 - How are we doing? - What happened? 333 00:18:29,821 --> 00:18:32,381 You hyperventilated till you blacked out. 334 00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:34,220 - I did? - You did. 335 00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:37,750 -Do people know why? -I told them it was the delivery charge. 336 00:18:39,831 --> 00:18:41,765 Did I buy these shoes? 337 00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:43,494 And the pants. 338 00:18:46,171 --> 00:18:49,231 - I can never have sex with you again. - Stop it. 339 00:18:49,307 --> 00:18:52,174 The whole image ofyou and Mark cavorting. 340 00:18:52,244 --> 00:18:54,610 You ever try cavorting in stirrups? 341 00:18:54,679 --> 00:18:57,204 Do you have to say "stirrups"? Must I visualize? 342 00:18:57,282 --> 00:19:00,945 - Sorry. - I'm gonna have to have him killed. 343 00:19:01,019 --> 00:19:03,647 - That's happening as we speak. - What did I do? 344 00:19:03,722 --> 00:19:06,555 What did I do? I did nothing! 345 00:19:06,625 --> 00:19:08,957 Why would you tell him that. You know Paul. 346 00:19:09,027 --> 00:19:11,086 He's riddled with anxiety. 347 00:19:11,163 --> 00:19:12,892 You just don't go telling him something like that... 348 00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:14,591 in the middle ofa department store. 349 00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:18,932 It was years ago. I gave her a pap smear. It's not like I enjoyed it. 350 00:19:21,273 --> 00:19:24,709 Mark David Devanow, you're being dumb, dumb, dumb. 351 00:19:24,776 --> 00:19:27,336 What should I do, huh? What should I do? 352 00:19:27,412 --> 00:19:31,075 How can I improve unless you tell me what to do? 353 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:34,883 You're gonna give Paul a big, fat apology. 354 00:19:34,953 --> 00:19:37,922 And return these slacks. They're hideous. 355 00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:42,422 I'm trying on slacks with the man... 356 00:19:42,494 --> 00:19:44,428 and he drops this bombshell on me... 357 00:19:44,496 --> 00:19:46,657 so now I'm supposed to socialize with these people? 358 00:19:46,731 --> 00:19:48,961 Would you feel better if it was you instead of me? 359 00:19:49,034 --> 00:19:51,025 - What do you mean? - Go show Fran your penis. 360 00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:52,831 Get away. 361 00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,573 What? We'll be even. You'll feel better. 362 00:19:56,641 --> 00:19:57,699 - Stop it. - Do it. 363 00:19:57,776 --> 00:20:00,370 I don't want to show Fran my penis. 364 00:20:05,584 --> 00:20:08,849 I don't want to show Stan my Zenith. 365 00:20:10,155 --> 00:20:12,089 I'm not gonna. 366 00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:17,994 This is why I don't want to come here-- Bad things happen to me in department stores. 367 00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,327 Oh, my God, you've suffered so. 368 00:20:20,398 --> 00:20:22,696 I have. Don't make fun. Especially today. 369 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:24,735 All right, all right. I owe you one. 370 00:20:24,803 --> 00:20:26,600 Not one, four. 371 00:20:26,671 --> 00:20:27,899 Two. 372 00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:29,270 Three. 373 00:20:29,341 --> 00:20:32,970 One: I ain't going to your Aunt Carol's birthday luau. 374 00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:36,343 Two: I am going to theJet game Sunday with Selby. 375 00:20:36,414 --> 00:20:38,974 And three I'm gonna keep in reserve. 376 00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:40,847 For what? 377 00:20:40,919 --> 00:20:43,251 For whatever I want whenever I want it. 378 00:20:43,321 --> 00:20:45,721 You know I'll never approve that. 379 00:20:46,958 --> 00:20:48,892 Why can't you do these things without me? 380 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,019 You know what you want. You don't listen to me anyway. 381 00:20:51,096 --> 00:20:53,189 Why do you need me here? 382 00:20:53,265 --> 00:20:55,893 Because I like to be with you. 383 00:21:01,406 --> 00:21:03,169 Okay. 384 00:21:03,241 --> 00:21:05,402 I'll take you to theJet game... 385 00:21:05,477 --> 00:21:07,707 but I'm still not going to the luau. 386 00:21:07,779 --> 00:21:09,246 Fine. More poi for me. 387 00:21:09,314 --> 00:21:12,408 Come on. We're going to the Lower East Side to look at linen. 388 00:21:12,484 --> 00:21:14,975 -You'll need pillows for this love seat. -Couch. 389 00:21:15,053 --> 00:21:17,681 Paul likes to call it a couch. 390 00:21:17,756 --> 00:21:20,088 It doesn't matter. We're not buying it. 391 00:21:20,158 --> 00:21:23,321 Once you get the right pillows, you can get the couch to match. 392 00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:25,420 You three go and have fun. 393 00:21:25,497 --> 00:21:28,591 No, Paul, no. We'll go shopping. 394 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,897 No slacks, okay? And then afterwards... 395 00:21:30,969 --> 00:21:34,427 we'll go for a nice, leisurely dinner, and we'll talk things out, okay? 396 00:21:34,506 --> 00:21:37,532 Mark, I'm fine. I really am. 397 00:21:37,609 --> 00:21:39,668 Please come with us. 398 00:21:40,779 --> 00:21:42,576 - Okay, I'll go. - Great. 399 00:21:42,647 --> 00:21:45,707 And dinner's on me. And Paul, did I mention... 400 00:21:45,784 --> 00:21:49,220 there's always a nurse present whenever a patient is in the stirrups. 401 00:21:49,287 --> 00:21:50,584 Mark! 31852

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.