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Thanks.

What the hell?

You order but I'm the one who pays!

-Thanks. -You're welcome.

Little turd!

-Hallo! -Oleksiy, hi, it's Ira!

-What Ira? -Your class rep! Ira Hortan.

Oh, Hortan!

Well, I do remember you.

-When? -February 2, Saturday.

A round figure, you must come.

-Wait, but it's in a few days. -Yes, I forgot to call earlier.

We have a Facebook group.

-“Class Reunion”. -What group?

-You coming? I'll add you. -I don't know.

And take a photo from school. For the flash mob.

-Ira, where? -Hugs and kisses, bye-bye!

Damn it!

Max! Turn the music down, or the house will collapse!

Now eat.

What is it?

Damn it…

You're still buying cheap toilet paper.

It scratches like an excavator.

Eat already.

Connecting, connecting!

Hello everyone! It's Max again!

Finally my new jeans arrived from America!

I only paid nine bucks.

Though the delivery was 47 bucks.

I paid for them, not you.

I just gave 1500 hryvnias for these hoses. Can you imagine?

As usual it's time to troll Dad.

Dad, it's a skinny model.

Skinny? Take them off and give to you sister, don't shame me.

I hear it from the man who bought Mom cheap panties

as a St. Valentine present.

Max!

I'm going to tell you…

Little turd!

-Who's that? -My class rep Ira.

-What does she want? -She's arranging a class reunion.

She added me to a Facebook group.

How do I make the letters bigger?

-Let me do it, it'll be faster. -Okay.

“A class reunion party is to take place

in Cherkasy school number 17. 25 years…”

You're giving a speech.

What? No way!

Why me?

It was Tolik Korotky's responsibility.

Isn't he coming?

Liosha, he died three years ago.

Oh, sure.

Tolik, Tolik…

You set me up!

Yes, yes. It'll be fine. Yes.

We'll finish the construction on time.

No fuckups. I promise.

OK, bye.

To swim or not to swim?

My wife bought rough toilet paper.

Liosha, the design is awesome!

As usual.

But it needs to be revised a little.

What do you mean?

I don't know…

Maybe add decorations?

Gena, what decorations on a monolith ten-story apartment block?

I understand, of course.

What if we give it to Yura? He'll fix it a bit.

What?

Easy…

Yura?

-Yeah, great. It's a deal then. -Wait…

Liosha…

Look, be careful with your bumper.

My uncle thought it's helminths, too,

but it turned out he had a back passage cancer.

Be careful. OK, back to work.

Relax, I can't get my finger out.

-What? -I said, relax.

OK… I'll prescribe you suppositories.

They should help.

Hemorrhoids' a common problem for your age.

It's not caused by toilet paper.

Thanks.

Doctor, I'm sorry for asking

such an awkward question,

but can I avoid using them?

-There's an ointment. -Works for me.

Great.

Good evening! I am Oleksiy Berehovy.

Probably you don't recognize me.

But it's fine, I can't recognize myself too.

I don't recognize most of you, too.

It feels like a queue to a pensions office, not a class reunion.

Liosha, it's too depressive.

My baby… Thanks.

I never doubted your ability to support.

I bought you paper.

Extra soft.

Extra thank you.

Liosha…

It's not that bad.

Is your weeny working?

You can check it.

So it's all fine.

What matters is you and me are together.

And my hemorrhoids.

I couldn't have hoped you'd unpack me again.

-Again? -Don't you remember me?

Last year, Atlas Weekend, backstage.

You changed your hair.

Hold on, wait.

Now I remember you.

-Yes. -Hello, Valera, it's Ira!

-What Ira? -Ira Hortan, your class rep.

-Oh, Hortan! -You busy?

What is it? Tell me.

-We're arranging a class reunion. -A reunion?

-February 2. You coming? -Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming!

Great! I'll add you to the chat.

-OK, do it. -I have a task for you, so read it.

OK, I will! Bye!

What do we have here?

Hush.

Here, a cookie.

We're pals. Did you forget? Sleep.

Quiet.

Quiet, Chubik.

Valera…

Did you sleep here all night?

Why didn't you wake me up?

Where are you going?

Me?

To the gas station.

I'll bring you a cinnamon cappuccino.

Valera…

And a chocolate croissant.

Yes.

A latte and a hot dog, please.

The flash man is stuffing his gut!

-Valera, hi! -Hi!

I didn't get it, who entered first, you or your whisky breath?

Did you hear about Andriy?

What about him?

It's classic.

He was busy with work, while his Anya took up yoga.

She found a young coach.

Master Kostya.

Meanwhile Andriy discovered the world of porn.

While Kostya was opening Anya's chakras,

Andriy began beating his meat.

No way! So now what?

What? He got addicted.

Addicted to what? Eating hot dogs?

He jerks off three times a day.

-Wow! -Oops, sorry!

Enjoy.

Thanks.

Their interests are different. He tried to stop her, but to no avail.

I…

I love another man.

Who?

Kostya.

She had wings tattooed on her butt

and she's now flying around him, like a butterfly around a street light.

He's 29.

29?

When I was 29, I took my son to the first grade.

And Kostya will take Andriy's son to a university.

But it's fine! I think he will make it.

We'll go to the reunion,

and he'll meet somebody there.

Valera…

I'm not going.

Are you stupid or what?

-Did you forget the chicks we'd had there? -What chicks, Valera?

Look at me, I'm barely jogging.

And I do it to avoid screaming at my family.

You can let it out there.

We'll arrive a day earlier, book a hotel and…

-I told you I'm not going. -You are!

You are! Andriy's going too!

Otherwise I'm going there to tell everyone you're fags!

I packed everything.

Your toothbrush, toothpaste, razor,

gels before and after shaving, glasses

and, Liosha, your hemorrhoids ointment.

I marked it with a red pen, so that you won't confuse it with toothpaste.

I won't confuse it.

This is why I marked it, to make sure you won't.

-Dad… -Not now, baby.

I can't open it. Who broke the lock?

-Liosha! -I don't need the glasses!

Dad!

Let me try.

I could've done it myself.

OK…

Dad!

Wait, baby, not now!

-OK… -Dad!..

Wait! Sonya, can you be quiet?

Sorry!

Damn it!

I know.

You know,

it's hard to love you when you don't love yourself.

Good morning!

You're listening to the Friday radio!

If you're still sleeping, we'll help you wake up!

Turn it louder! We're beginning our show!

Be careful in that Cherkasy town.

Don't bring back any surprises.

Like you did the last time.

Chubik, pal!

Come on! Come on, boy!

Wow! We can make a brothel on wheels!

Hi.

Are you two okay?

Come on, stop being a dad.

Hey, kids! Where have you been?

Hey repeater!

-OK… -Be careful. The car's new. Almost.

Damned cylinder!

I'm going to hit Ira with this cylinder when I see her.

Why do you need it?

Could you explain something to me?

Valera will sing a song, because he's a rock star. Right?

Right.

Liosha will give a speech, because he used to be the best student. Right?

-Right. -It's not.

Meanwhile I'll be blowing up the fucking balloons,

because I own a poultry farm and a greenhouse!

How's it connected?!

Liosha, why are you sitting on a swim ring?

I've got hemorrhoids.

Liosha, now you got two kinds of pain in the ass:

your hemorrhoids and the speech.

Wow!

Look at her cylinders!

If I had such a bike, I'd have been in Cherkasy in an hour.

Now.

-Invite her to fuck. -Screw you.

Hello! I'm sorry!

Sorry, my friends are morons.

Nice bike! What's its capacity?

Liosha, you're a bad pick-upper!

-Come on. -To hell with you!

-Oh… -Is our trip over already?

-What happened? -Electronic handbrake, I always forget.

-Enough honking, you! -Come on, move!

We have a guest.

He's damn huge.

Relax.

Are you looking for chicks or for trouble?

Can we choose?

Then I choose chicks.

Three old men in a granny's car? All chicks are yours.

Now get lost, you clowns.

I'm so fucking tired of this!

-Andriy! What are you doing? -Andriy, wait!

Hey you, you piece of shit!

-Want adventures? Take this! -What are you doing?! It was new!

-Hey, pal! -Andriy!

Enough! Andriy, stop it!

OK, OK, fine!

OK? They fuck our ladies and steal our jobs!

-Fucking kids! -Andriy, you're on fire!

-Now move, move! -The brake! Let's go.

Idiots!

They're lucky I'm on a suspended sentence!

Why are you laughing? Move!

The Friday Radio! Always a Friday vibe!

On our roads the ring is not helping.

Is the toilet in the middle?

-It is. -And to the left?

What is it?

Look. Anya and her new boyfriend.

They must be going to the reunion too.

So let them go.

You serious? Andriy's going to destroy this whole place!

-Indeed. Where is he? -In the toilet.

What do we do?

We can't let them see each other.

Let's go!

-It's occupied. I'm next. -Alright.

-I'll go after you. -Better not. He's got hemorrhoids.

He'll be there for at least half an hour.

Better find a bush. It'll be quicker.

Our friend's in there.

I guess.

Valera, what's wrong?

What's going on? Valera, let me out.

-We need to talk. -Here? How about going outside?

Liosha mustn't hear it. It's about him.

What happened?

We have to decide what to buy for his birthday.

Valera, are you insane?!

You scared me!

Wait, his birthday's in six months.

So what? We wait until the last moment and then don't know what to buy.

-Do you have our discount card? -Yes, I do.

Guys! Guys!

Enough kissing. All clear. Let's go.

Andriy, is Anya going there too?

No idea. We're not talking.

She's got her Buddha for such things.

And for other things too.

Wasn't all we had enough for her?

I bought her a Jeep, I built her a coffee shop in Kyiv.

She could've gone wherever she wanted twice a year.

-Maybe you should've gone with her? -Yes, probably.

How about the kid?

She dragged him with her.

It's not the kid's fault that his mother went crazy.

She takes him everywhere.

Isn't it great to have so much free time?

Unlike you, I love kids.

-Who said I don't like kids? -Then why don't you have any?

Because I have you!

Valera, you moron!

Hey boys, I think I'll spend this night at the reception desk.

Here's your key.

The mini bar is paid, the Wi-Fi is free.

Is it hot in your rooms?

It's not that hot, but it's warm enough.

Come on.

Valery, I have all your albums.

Really?

If you wish to hear them live, come to my room.

You know where it is.

I'm staying in there too.

The cylinder.

Goodbye.

So what are we up to tonight?

You know what! We're going to the club to find some chicks!

But first we must find our room

and drop our things.

Then we go to the gym.

Sounds great!

To the gym, to the gym!

-Where is it? -Liosha, I pushed it.

OK boys, here's the deal.

The blonde's mine.

Why is she yours?

Because, Valera, I don't want it to be as it used to be.

No agreement and then you grab all the chicks.

-Come on! -It's a gym, not a club.

OK. Follow me.

Look at him!

Why doesn't he and Masha have kids? Don't they want them?

No, Masha wants a lot. But he doesn't.

Are you planning more kids?

No.

I'm going to have a vasectomy operation.

-It's when…? -You know it.

Then how are you going to have sex?

Andriy, are you stupid?

I'll have it as I had it before, but without consequences.

Zhenya forced you.

She didn't. Nobody forced me.

-It's my own idea. -Yeah, yeah.

Come on, you henpecked boy!

Fuck you, Andriy!

You're henpecked!

Good chicks.

So hot.

Exactly. Let's go to the sauna.

We need to warm up.

Liosha! Catch up with us!

I'd like to remind you of old friendships

we started while we were at school.

Like Kovaleva and Dubchenko.

-They're still best friends. -Liosha, they're lesbians!

-Really? -Didn't you know that?

Everybody knew that at school.

But they… are still friends, aren't they?

They are.

Damn it…

-What are you looking at? -Do you shave your balls?

Of course!

-Do you think Kostya does it too? -Naturally.

Do you think Anya takes them and…

Which do you prefer? When ladies are smooth

or when there are Hendrixes down there?

-Smooth, of course! -Clean shaved.

So do women, they also prefer tomatoes over kiwis.

You look like old farts.

Take razors and make yourselves

young again.

Liosha, what do you think?

-What? -If you do it, I'll do it too.

Valera, how thoroughly do we shave them?

Shave them clean. To avoid prickly bristle.

But not against the grain.

I always shave my face this way.

I don't get it. Against the grain or not?

I did both.

The result is what matters.

-What are you doing? -You told me to disinfect it.

I meant the razor.

See you in the sauna.

Damn, it hurts!

It's so hot!

Bad day for my balls.

-By the way, about the balls. -It's hot.

Valera, do you know Liosha wants to have vasectomy?

Are you crazy?

So what?

You can't have kids after it.

I already have kids.

Two kids. It's more than enough.

You should appreciate it if it all works down there.

Don't cripple yourself.

So here it is, God damn it!

You can't have kids.

Dang!

Dang!

Most likely I can't.

-So what? My dad couldn't too. -What?

He and Mom got lucky.

Wait, why would you have this problem?

Because when I was a kid, my testicles went down too late.

Dad had the same problem.

So this is why you shave your balls?

To make them more obvious?

Valera, you can't know for sure.

You said it yourself, “Most likely”. Did you do the test?

Let's do a semen analysis.

-Yes, sure, let's do it. -Well?

Don't you have anything to do here?

Man, we shaved our balls because of you!

Do the same to your asses.

He got offended.

I'll be going, too. Too hot.

What the…?

Are you taking shit here?!

-No. -Damn drunkards, they shit everywhere!

-I'm not shitting. -Don't tell me your balls got stuck!

-They did. -You serious? Let me see.

-No. -Don't worry, let's have a look.

Call my friends. There are two boys over there.

Don't go anywhere, OK?

Hey, fellas, we caught a carp by his balls! Quick!

-What? -Hemorrhoids again?

No, Valera.

It's worse.

This year the harvest of plums is good.

-Yes… -What do we do?

I'll help with the balls. But not with the hemorrhoids.

-Go get champagne. -OK. Wait, what?

What? We're losing him! Once the balls are numb, it's over!

Grab a lot of ice!

-What do you mean numb? -Like that.

Blood doesn't there. Got it? If they swell, we won't get them out!

Petya.

Valera.

Then do something.

So, bring me water.

We'll pour it on your stones. Got it?

The cold will make them shrink. But you watch out.

Once the plums turn into peas, jump up.

-It's hot! -I told you to bring cold water!

-Sorry. -Hold tight!

Tighter!

Liosha, don't bite!

Fascists!

To Liosha and his nerves of steel.

Found it.

A fertility clinic nearby.

What? I'm not going.

I can't leave you here when you're in such a trouble.

I'm not staying. I'm going with you.

Besides, I need to check whether my little pal still works.

Enough of this, Valera!

It's time to jerk off a little. Move, move!

Fertility clinic. How can I help you?

One minute.

Are you ready?

I don't think I have to teach you.

Jerk off!

Jerk off!

This is Gosha, he likes joking.

I'd better go have a walk.

Hold on. You wanted to check it.

-I have no problems down there. -Stop!

I forgot. I forgot to tune up my guitar.

-It's really important. -Valera, stay where you are!

There's no way back! It will be quick!

Jerk off, jerk off, jerk off!

I have an idea.

Thanks.

How can I help you?

We, um… There are three of us…

Thanks.

Here's the deal. The loser does what the winner says.

Ready? Go!

Jerk off!

-This one's mine! -I'll be here!

Jerk off, jerk off, jerk off!

Yes, sure.

Goodbye. We'll be waiting.

What is it, Andriy?

Well, it's not my first time today.

The analysis.

The results will be ready tomorrow.

Valera…

Valera, she's really hot, don't you think so?

Where's Liosha?

Just a moment.

Liosha!

Liosha, are you alright?

Liosha, what's going on?

Nothing's going on!

This is because of the speech!

-Psychosomatics. -Yes.

Liosha, calm down.

Try to raise it.

Thanks for the advice.

Think of the chick you'd really want.

Like our English teacher.

Yes! Think of Eva Booty! Think of her!

Eva Booty is Liosha's wet dream!

Liosha is the champion!

It had never happened to me before.

-Well? -Don't you worry.

It happens.

-What happens? -When you can't do it at once.

At your age…

Stupid morons! To hell with you!

-No better ideas? -Well, you dye Zhenya's hair, don't you?

So I thought you'd know how to do it.

Who could've imagined that you, Andriy, would have you hair dyed!

And for what!

The same purpose you shave your balls for, Valera.

To get more chicks.

With the hair like yours all chicks will be running after you.

But if you have serious intentions…

What are you doing?

Don't forget a little here… Boom! And here.

-Valera, what are you doing? -And here.

-Hey, you can't wash it off. -Let's check it.

Valera!

Valera, stop it!

Shit!

-Oh come on! -Can it be washed off?!

-It fucking can't be! -You should be able to!

-No offence, man! -It's a new kind of dye, it's instant!

-How do I go to the club like this? -Rub it harder.

Yeah, rub it harder.

You're so original!

Like a hipster.

What hipster, Valera?

I look as if an oil rig exploded on my face.

To be honest, nobody will care about you there.

It's dark in there and everybody's drunk. It's a club.

So relax.

And I like it! Hope it will work!

What the…?

God damn it!

What a stupid day!

Liosha, you forgot your cream!

-Screw you! -Come on!

-I'm not going anywhere. -Really?

Not my day.

Liosha, you're in a bad mood, I understand it.

But if I don't find a chick tonight,

my mood's going to be bad, too.

Are we planning to start a club of old nerds?

-Forget it, Andriy! -Why would I, Valera?

What if tonight I meet a girl who can love me?

And I'm sitting here all dyed up and with my balls shaved! What for?

Damn you!

Both of you are old perverts!

Hi!

Hi! How are you?

Max went to a party, and me and Sofia had a pillow fight.

She's knocked out.

-What? -She's sleeping.

You know, today she said she misses you.

Do you know that I love you?

Yes. I love you too.

And, Zhenya, I want to say I'm sorry.

-I'm sorry about what happened. -Everything's going to be fine.

Look, I think Sofia doesn't like it at her new school.

So I thought maybe…

-You listening? -Yes, I'm listening.

Zhenya, could you help me?

I need an advice on my speech.

Let me read it to you.

God, you're so fixated on yourself! You're so egocentric!

Me, fixed? Am I fixed?

Tomorrow I'll have to stand on a stage and give this bloody speech!

The only thing I'm asking for is a bit of help!

OK, read me your speech.

Who stole our dreams?

What happened to them?

No, dreams.

Why is it stupid?

By the way, Andriy and Valera don't think I sound like an old fart.

Liosha, over here!

Scrub my back!

No, I know how to accept criticism.

-You're saying nonsense. -Here it goes.

Oh come on!

Zhenya, I… Hello!

-The end. -Yes.

She got offended.

What are we waiting for? Let's got to the club.

Who comes back home chickless is showing the cops his bare ass.

Nobody canceled the old rules.

-Pour me some. -Three mojitos!

I'm I seeing double?

-I'm Valera. -Hi, babe!

Thanks. A moment.

-Ladies, that's for you. -Two shots of cognac!

Yes, Liosha, they're right in what they say, our ladies are the best.

Thanks.

And they choose the most arrogant dudes.

Hold it. Hold it!

Look.

Hey, babe, I'm calling the cops on you.

-Why? -Cause you're stealing my moves!

Asshole.

So you're from Odesa? I love Odesa!

To Odesa ladies.

-What is it? -Look.

That's him, the yoga master.

Anya's boyfriend.

Damn it! Damn it!

-Andrew! -Andriy!

Pardon me.

-Whoop! -What is it?

Those babes agreed to an orgy!

You serious?

-Damn it! -Liosha's going to find a third one.

And he'll make sure no young bastard interferes.

You wait here. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back!

It's Valera's treat.

What is this?

Fertility?

Is it a kind of disease?

Here I am!

Is your dick sick?

Let go! Leave me alone!

-Hands off! -Stop!

I said I'm in no mood!

I said, get off me!

Come on! Drop the act!

-I mean it! -Hello!

You should've thought before I bought you a cocktail.

-Take it back then! -Come here!

Back off, you bastard!

Hey, old man, you're in the wrong place. It's ladies' room.

Baby, when were you supposed to be home?

By nine. And what time is it?

We are going home. Come here!

Jailbait.

You're late to educate your daughter, old man.

-Idiot! -Old fart.

Thanks, dad.

It wasn't me.

Mom's worried.

Yes…

And here's our mom.

Meet Zhanna.

-Zhanna, this is Andriy. -Hi!

Hi. I guess our mom used too much hair dye on her brows.

Good job!

-Shall I bring us something to drink? -Go ahead.

Pleased to meet you.

Stop where you are! Bastard!

You little prick!

Open up! You stole my wife!

I didn't steal her, Andriy! She left you!

-It was her choice! -Her choice, huh?!

She made this choice after your dirty games

and your Vedic bullshit!

-Come here, bitch. -Anya told me a lot about you.

When I worked with her.

I know you had an unhappy marriage.

You don't understand!

What's so special about you? Shaved balls?! So are mine!

And you're going to lose yours now! Come here!

-Open up! I said open up! -Look, Andriy… Look!

If you want to start a new relationship, let your anger go.

You get out, and I'll show you how I let my anger go!

You hear me, douchebag?!

-Where's mom? -She left us.

Nice tattoo you have there.

I spent three hours trying to clean it off, but all in vain.

Let's go to your place.

To wash it off.

Anger is just a symptom!

You must ask yourself a question, what really torments you?

What really torments me

is the fact that I didn't kick shit out of you.

You got it, bitch? Open up! I say open up! Open up, bitch!

-Open up! -Andriy…

-Andriy! -Let go, I say!

I'll kill him!

-Andriy! -Valera, I'll kill him.

What are you doing?

-Did you see it? -Zhora, you know me.

Give him to me, I'll soothe him.

Well…

-Zhora… -I don't know.

He's your responsibility now. But make sure he won't do it again.

Thanks, man!

Vitya, let go.

What happened to you?

Come on, Jackie Chan!

Sweet. Thanks.

You have wrinkles when you smile.

Might be.

But one or two are from smiling, the rest are because I'm old.

Why are you saying that?

You're so pessimistic.

I know what you need.

A vitamin.

Vitamin?

They make you feel really good…

It's like a "Delete" button.

It deletes all your troubles.

Why do you need it?

You're young and beautiful. Your life is just beginning.

Oh yes. I have no problems.

No boyfriend, no problems.

No job, no problems.

And?

Vitamins don't help here?

No.

But they help not to think about all this bullshit.

Right?

You know, I…

I don't want it.

Thanks.

As you say. Then keep it for a rainy day.

I'm married.

I know.

But we only want to support each other a little.

Don't we?

Andriy,

try to look at the positive side.

While he's here, he isn't fucking Anya.

What do we have here?

Of course!

Who wants to have such mess in her mouth?

Looks like cats scratched it.

When would you realize it at last?

You don't mix types of alcohol.

Liosha!

Elvis, we were left alone again.

Liosha…

Liosha!

Liosha!

Liosha.

Where did you guys go?

It's complicated, Liosha.

First I chased Kostya.

Then me and Valera went to The Basement.

What basement?

Did you drink with hobos?

Liosha…

The Basement is a night club.

Though the hobos attacked us, too.

But first their dogs attacked us.

Liosha, it's complicated.

Where's Valera?

Valera's here.

Listen…

Do you know

why they arrange class reunions in February?

No.

Well, I know.

Because when it's cold you don't get wasted that quick.

If it were June now,

we'd be out cold long time ago.

Valera!

Valera!

Valera!

It's occupied!

Quiet.

Time to quit this shift.

Dudes!

Get up, the results are ready!

There's plenty of time!

Beats me! Three thirty p.m.!

Andriy, the clinic closes at four!

I won't make it.

I'm telling you I won't make it.

Help me.

I'm not going to help you.

Cause you're an idiot.

-There. -Forget about Zhanna.

Nobody fucked her.

OK. "What happened to our dreams…"

No, I won't make it.

Tell them you left your copybook at home.

It always worked at school.

It's itching like hell.

Itching like hell!

Damn, same shit here.

Nothing to be afraid of.

You get in the room, watch porn, jerk off, and that's it.

Nothing new for you.

And I'll grab the result.

How do you know about the porn in the room?

They made those fellas jerk off right here!

Damn! No, I'm out of it.

Why did we agree to shave them?

-I don't know. How do you tolerate it? -Don't tell me.

I don't.

I use laser hair removal.

No way!

Here you are, another douchebag.

-Oleksiy. -It's me.

Andriy.

Valeriy.

Hello! Yes.

Yes, I can hear you.

Yes.

You go first.

-No, show me yours. -Today we close at four.

Heck!

You can give samples tomorrow from seven to eleven.

Voila! As I told you, super sperm!

-In your face, Kostya the Vedic shit! -Super sperm!

What do you have?

-Excuse me… -A moment.

What is oligospermia?

Too few spermatozoa. It will be hard for you to have children.

Excuse me.

What do you mean, hard? I have two kids.

-Do you smoke? -No.

Do you stress out?

Sometimes.

Yes. No, I'm not talking to you.

-So? -It might be the cause.

I'm not opening mine.

Why?

I don't want to go to the class reunion with a sour look on my face.

As if I do! Hemorrhoids plus oligospermia!

Open it!

Give me the envelope. Valera!

-Valera, give me the envelope! -Wait.

-Give me the bloody envelope! -Liosha, Liosha!

-Come to your senses! -What's wrong?

-You wanted to be castrated! -I'm sorry, could you repeat?

What's wrong with you both?!

Better look at me! Super sperm I have no use for!

Super sperm!

Okay. Bye. Goodbye.

Super sperm!

Super sperm!

Super sperm.

OK, get ready. There's no time left.

Hey, Liosha, is your speech ready?!

-Do you want to hear it? -Go ahead!

Ass, ass, ass!

Old, stinky, quaggy ass!

Interesting but controversial point.

The topic is unconventional

and the ending is unexpected.

I don't get it, why do people visit those reunion parties?

To see who rules and who sucks.

I suck.

OK, dudes, I failed.

And it's not the end!

Wait for his speech!

Valera, why are you silent?

Support our friend.

Dear friends, I'm so happy to see you all here!

But, judging by my voice,

I had a little accident!

My balls got pinched.

So I'm a bit like Pinocchio.

Liosha, get yourself

together.

You have to deliver this speech.

Or you'll be even more disappointed.

What if I fail?

If you fail, you'll be disappointed, too.

Your choice is like that of a fish: either to be roasted or fried.

-Why did you…? -What? I'm not a motivational coach.

Screw you both!

Not on my own

But also not with you yet

Not on my own

I drank too much from the sea

Not on my own

I'm so sad I'm going to drown

Not on my own

I'm not on my own!

Not on my own

But also not with you yet

Not on my own

I drank too much from the sea

Not on my own

Who stole our dreams?

Who stole our dreams?

Who stole our dreams?

Who stole our dreams?

Liosha, stop it.

-Who stole our dreams? -You can do it, man.

Yes, I can fucking do it.

Finally. Great.

Are you excited to see everyone, too?

Liosha, I wish I wouldn't see someone there.

What if you show up for the main course and Anya does for the dessert?

No! You both have to be there.

I'm not going to talk to her.

You're both too moody.

I wish Tolik didn't die.

I'd kiss him!

Liosha, are you alright?

Guys.

Did I tell you that I love you?

-Andriy… -Liosha, I'm driving!

-Really? -Stop it!

Dudes!

I don't feel my hemorrhoids!

I don't feel my hemorrhoids!

Check, check! Boom, boom!

Imagine, she's alone with three kids.

-Really? -Yeah.

-You serious? -First I complained about the cheap paper.

Sorry, we're experiencing technical problems.

Yes, I'm at the class reunion.

It feels like everybody got sick and sent their parents instead.

Dudes, I love this informal atmosphere!

Everyone's so relaxed!

Valera, hold it. Hold it.

I need to say hi. To everyone.

Hi!

What do I do? I don't know.

Hey, fellas!

-What do I do with them? -Tie them to Anya,

may she and the wings on her ass fly to the ceiling.

You look great!

Thanks!

Beats me, what a suit!

Let me have a closer look!

Wow! Cool! Super cool!

Asya Karpovna! Hello!

-Liosha… Come on… -Is this a boa?

I'll rent it from you.

Tokha! Sorry!

Tokha!

Help yourself, please.

Your music is always in my heart.

Thank you.

I don't remember you in our class.

Well, it seems to be not that bad.

Valera, how about Masha?

Dudes, look who I found!

Valera!

Buenos dias, dudes!

Andriy, I just talked to Anya.

I'm sorry. You're not together anymore.

Valera! Good old Valera!

You're still running your chick marathon?

Check it out! God,

it's Eva Booty!

Hello!

Yes, the time doesn't influence her.

They say she hasn't met a decent man yet.

My bed is always ready for her.

If you ask me, pals, I'm doing great!

Everyone's buying my fertilizers!

We're finalizing the deal with the Chinese.

They're paying a sum with seven zeros.

No way!

-Congrats, man! I'm happy for you! -Thanks, Liosha!

-Thanks! -Tokha!

You're so solid! And warm.

Thanks! Liosha…

Enough, enough, Liosha!

OK, see you later.

Good evening everyone and welcome!

Let me remind those who forgot I'm Ira Hortan!

And I'm going to host tonight's party.

I hope my job deserves 13

in the 12-grade system!

Ira's so fun!

What?

So,

our ship called "Class Reunion"

is raising its anchor!

Thanks to our cook you're going to have a wonderful dinner.

But please don't overdo it with the drinks

to avoid getting seasick!

-We have entertainments prepared! -She's so damn fun!

And someone even has a heartfelt speech for you!

Yes, yes, yes! It's me! It's me!

It's time for the first present!

A song about the prom.

I'll be assisted by

the laureate of the 2015 Zhashkiv amateur song contest,

my special friend Serhiy.

Go, go!

Liosha, you probably should rehearse your speech once more?

Don't you worry, Valera!

After the speech all the chicks will be mine,

and you'll be showing your bare asses to the cops!

What happened to you, ladies' man?

Time to start.

By the way, where's Eva?

Watch how a pro works!

What the…?

I'm so sorry!

-Let me… a moment… -Relax. Stains love me.

-What is this? -It's a sauce to fish.

What sauce?! Look what you've done!

-Andriy! Relax. -An accident?

It's a fashionable print, you get it?

I'm a trendy man, Valera.

I'm a hipster.

You're not a hipster, you're a canned anchovy!

Exactly!

-An anchovy! I'll take it off. -What are you doing?!

What do you mean, take it off? People are looking!

-Eva! I'll be back! -Liosha!

Daisies, daisies, Alyoshka and Natashka They won't be coming home soon today

Don't you recognize me?

I do.

OK, let me give you a clue.

Green mats in the gym.

Right, Kristina!

Damn, no, I'm Lilia!

Damn it, right! Lilia!

Lilia!

Lisa!

-How are you doing? -Thanks.

Do you know my daughter?

Is she your daughter?

How old is she?

She's 25.

Don't you worry.

She's not from you.

I don't worry, why would I?

I'll be right back. Wait.

Sure.

It's clean!

Liosha, what are you doing? It's wet.

Eva's wet?

Oh, my shirt is!

High five, man!

Liosha, did you smoke weed?

No, no! Keep guessing. Well?

Zhanna left me a present…

A vitamin!

Shit.

Look, you have to calm down. Take it off, damn you!

Do you think I can buy them in a pharmacy?

-Buy what? -The vitamins!

-Is it a strip show, ladies? -Liosha's high.

-What? -He's high as a kite.

-Don't you see? -Liosha's high, got it?!

-Drop this shirt! -OK, OK, guys! No drama!

I'll be naked then. I've got a perfect body and shaven balls.

Thanks man!

I've got an idea. Let's go.

Liosha, let's go!

-Tigerman. -Come on, Tigerman!

Looks like the coach still has his "lost and found office" in here.

Do I really need to be dressed?

What is this thing?

Is it for an octopus? How do kids wear things like this?

CONVERGENCE MOUNTAIN CENTER

Just a thing!

I got confused.

OK, let's go.

Liosha, what are you doing? Don't add alcohol!

Mommy, I'm a big boy!

-You know what's crazy? -Well…

-What? -That ginger Lisa is Lilia's daughter.

If I fuck her, it'll be a hat-trick.

Valera, for it to be a hat-trick, you have to fuck Lisa's grandma first.

Come on!

Did you fuck Lisa's grandma?

-But she's old! -Back then she wasn't!

-Good job! -Man, she'll always be old for us!

Both then and now!

Valera, don't listen to him, it's a hat-trick!

-Andriy… -Valera, it's the hat-trick!

-Anya, Anya… -I'm on your side, man.

I see. Very adult behavior.

Adult thing? He's a teenage kid again.

-I just wanted to ask how he's doing. -Great!

Cool. We had a wild party last night!

He got wasted in the basement, while I was a little higher.

I hope you're doing a lot better

after you left this old wrinkled ass.

I don't mind his ass.

Of course! Kostya's ass is much better, heh?

I want you to know, I left Andriy not because of his age

but because we had an unhappy marriage.

Oh really?

But he's the best father in the world.

I'll tell him.

Did you hear it, man?! “But he's the best father in the world”.

…deliver a speech to celebrate our reunion…

I'll go take a leak.

And now another professional act.

Meet our star Valera!

Your golden maple leaf

Not on my own!

Wow!

Eva!

Liosha, it's a ladies' room.

Not like every night, screaming songs You stole my heart

Not on my own

But also not with you yet

-I know what you're thinking. -What is it?

What an ugly old frog is looking at me from the mirror?

I… I'm just tired, I work a lot.

I mean myself. It's a joke.

What is this?

Life is passing by.

And men are paying less attention to me.

But don't you worry, I'll be your savior.

Andriy!

Andriy!

What?

Hold my results. I'm afraid to lose them.

Valera, where are you going? What about Masha?

-I love her. -Then why are you going with her?

Because of the hat-trick! It's like sport.

It's an attempt to ignore a problem.

You're afraid to lose Masha if she sees this.

If you love her, fight to the end, despite any test results.

Damn it, stop reading ladies' magazines!

You're talking nonsense.

It's not nonsense!

Me and Anya visited…

a therapist.

Valera…

It's stuck, I can't open.

-Is anything wrong? -We shouldn't do it.

I shouldn't do it.

Trust me, I'll do it myself.

Andriy, go take a walk.

I know what we should buy Liosha for his birthday.

We'll buy him a course at a driving school.

He's been dreaming of a motorbike.

He just was afraid.

Like, scared.

Eva! Liosha!

Is everything okay?

-Yes. -It's great.

Where do you want to…?

The English class?

Liosha, stop it, you're drunk.

Liosha, leave me alone.

This party's a challenge for me.

What's wrong?

Did anyone offend you?

Was it Anton? I'll kick his ass.

Nobody offended me.

All my students are married,

some have daughters, others have sons.

But I… have nothing to boast about.

I'm still the same English teacher.

Dear friends,

before Liosha Berehovoy delivers his speech,

please remember one thing:

be it a corporate party, wedding or birthday, ask Iryna to host it!

While Oleksiy is preparing, we'll have a contest.

I'll need two boys and two girls.

And we always have a chair and nuts with us.

Ira, maybe we'd better skip it?

Don't be shy!

Counting nuts with your buttocks is always fun!

Speech?

Speech!

Go on stage and win us some time! And I'll find Liosha.

-Speech! -Valera, Valera! Let's swap.

-You're the man of stage. -Speech! Speech! Speech!

If he's totally wasted, you'll lose control and beat him up.

Go on.

Speech! Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Look what I have.

I shaved it against the grain.

Liosha!

What are you doing?! Don't be stupid!

Valera!

She's mine!

Almost! Quiet!

Speech!

Damn it!

-Speech! -Applause!

Andriy, thank you for your courage. As usual, great job!

Ira, let me say something.

Go ahead.

While we're

waiting for tonight's main speaker, Oleksiy,

Liosha,

I'd like to say

a few words.

-I… -Want sex?

Weird.

So much time's passed but nothing changed:

neither my desires, nor your jokes. Right, Tokha?

Me and Anya had

a long marriage.

But we failed it.

So I thought it would be nice for us,

despite we failed,

to remain friends.

And sure thing I am to take the first step.

So I'd like to do it now.

I'll never like your

boyfriend, Kostya.

But on the other hand, it's not me who will lie in bed with him

holding his neatly shaved balls in my mouth!

Some people are so lucky.

Undress and wait for me, babe.

-Liosha… Liosha… -Give it to me.

-Don't do it, man. -Why?

Trust me, I know when it's a bad time to go on stage.

They'll demand an encore.

-No. -Damn, Valera!

Masha?

Liosha!

Liosha!

So much has happened in these 25 years!

Asya Karpovna!

Liosha! Liosha!

-Liosha, stop! -Thanks!

-I'm giving a speech! -Berehovoy, come back!

-I'll be back! -Nothing has changed.

Asya Karpovna, I missed you so much!

Dear friends, if in ten seconds

Oleksiy doesn't appear on stage…

If you want to go out, here's my number.

Meanwhile, cheers everyone.

Ta-dam!

Hello, friends! Sorry I'm late!

I was intriguing you. You got it?

I was taking time!

Here it is. A moment!

Nice trick!

-God damn it. -Do you need glasses?

No, Tokha, I don't need them! I remember it by heart!

I learnt it.

I learnt it.

So, friends, it's been 25 years!

25.

25, 25, Liosha's young and fresh again.

Sing along! Clap your hands!

Cherkasy forever!

Now it will be funny.

A moment…

A trick!

Eva Booty, let Liosha screw you!

-Poor Eva. -I'm sorry, it was funny.

-That's… -Take him away.

It's alright! It's alright, friends!

It can happen to anyone! Nerves and stuff.

Hush, hush.

Let's talk about us.

Oh, Anya! Show us your wings.

Anya got a tattoo of wings on her ass.

Will you show it?

Or maybe it's not wings but horns?

Hey Anya,

show it!

No? Then I'll show you my hemorrhoids!

I'll go start the car.

After forty everyone has it.

It's so sad.

But everyone needs to shit, even after forty.

Yes, Liosha, it was a stunning speech!

Okay, forget it. Let bygones be bygones.

Damn! I look like shit.

And I feel like shit.

What a paradox.

You look like shit but you smell like puke.

Damned cylinder!

Masha!

I want to talk.

Me too.

We should've talked about it long ago.

I'm pregnant.

Task number four.

The question…

What gives us light at night?

What does it say?

A blub.

Can't you read it?

Really?

Let me see…

Be more attentive.

Do you see the order of the letters?

So what is it? A bulb?

-Oh yes. -Oh yes.

I always thought glasses will suit you.

A WEEK LATER

How can I help you?

Did you want something?

We wanted to show you something.