Original subtitles

Have you…

ever…

fallen in love?

What? Like I’d believe that!

But they really did taste good - didn’t they Meguru-chan?

Yeah, at first I was like “no way,” but they’re surprisingly good once you try them.

You should be using salt on the tomatoes anyway.

Adding sugar is just gross!

Come on, you should try it before you shoot it down!

Thanks, but I’ll pass.

Yamamoto, you really are stubborn.

You always want it your way, even with boys.

Huh, boys?

Why did you mention boys just now?

It’s because you’re really popular now, but you aren’t seeing anyone.

Someone’s texting you?

Who could that be?

It’s Misao.

Isn’t he that freaky guy that looks like a Yeti?

Yeah, he’s a close friend I grew up with.

Hey, did you hear about some junior high girl taking him down?

Is it true?

That’s the first I’ve heard about it!

Maybe that’s what he wants to discuss privately with me.

Privately? Sounds like a crush to me!

With that guy? When pigs fly!

There she goes again!

Anyways, they're finally putting him in a match.

Oh that fighter you’ve been keeping track of?

You sure do love mixed martial arts Misaki-chan!

Hmm, so you finally told him?

Yeah, I was really scared.

So please, stop following me around!

That must be why he isn’t around this morning.

I would have done it sooner if I knew that’s all it’d take.

That’s great, Ayumi-chan.

Now we can finally go home together again!

Yup!

Big news! Big news! Did you hear?

That sasquatch just lost a fight!

No way! That freak of nature could lose a fight?

Mm-hmm. They say that he lost to a girl!

Huh? What kind of girl did that?

I want to see her myself!

Come on, let’s get going!

Ayumi-chan.

Anyways, sounds like another one of your rumors to me.

I’m telling you it’s not a rumor! Right?

Your brother just lost a fight, to a girl!

Uh, well…

Don’t give me that. He’s your brother, ain’t he?

Uh, my brother doesn’t talk to me about those things.

See, it is a rumor.

There’s just no way for Zaitsu Misao to lose to a girl.

Watch it, Sogabe!

Are you doubting me?

You think I’d lie to you?

That DVD I told you about was classic, wasn't it?

Can’t… deny… that.

But dude!

Animals? What the Christ?!

I didn’t say that it had people in it, did I?

Hey, you two, outta my way!

Arihara-san!

Good morning, Zaitsu-kun!

G-Good morning.

It took her one kick to KO my brother, and with such a tiny body.

That’s just unreal. Could I’ve been seeing things?

O-Oh no, he’s just sitting there staring at me!

I dunno what to do!

Hey now…

Aren’t you two being flirty pretty early this morning?

Are you two dating?

No way, we’re not dating!

I wasn’t seeing things!

Hmm?

Uh, it’s nothing!

Anyways, what’s up?

Uh… Um…

Here, Zaitsu-kun.

I baked some cookies yesterday to thank you for taking me to the infirmary.

You can have them if you’d like.

It says they were 3.5 out of 10.

Mm-hmm!

Please take a rain check this time, and I’ll make you some more, all right?

Gah! I don’t believe this!

That stupid brother of mine!

Ayumi-chan?

What the heck was that about?

Huh, you still don’t get it, do you Zaitsu?

Huh?

Why the hell are you being so stupid about this?

She’s freaking saying she likes you!

No way!

I don’t remember getting her confession.

Has your brain quit on you?

Are you now Marron Cream the Bunny who’s stuck on top of Mont Blanc?

Yeah, maybe.

“Maybe” nothing!

She’s got the hots for you!

You should be psyched!

When a girl does that, you go out with her!

Go out?

And when you do that,

you can see and touch her body as much as you want!

Man, just thinking about that - I so envy you…

You’ll let me touch her too, right?

I’m not really comfortable seeing the girls in our class that way.

Oh God! Stop with that bullcrap boy-scout act of yours!

Ya know, you’re the only one that pretends to be that way.

Right Sogabe?

Don’t lump me together with you.

What the hell!

You mean you two never fantasize about them?

Don’t give me that crap!

We’d have to only have really ugly-looking girls in our class for that to be true.

In the real world a guy would go out with Aihrara-san in a second-

Oh I get it Zaitsu.

Could it be… that you…

Already got a girl you like?

Dammit, you do!

Your face says it all!

Are you already dating her?

Is that what it is? Zaitsu-kun?

I’m not really dating her…

But you like her right? So who is it?

Tell me already, Zaitsu-kun!

I get it now!

You’re even popular with the high-school chicks!

Kusuda-kun, you’re being too loud!

Still, I don’t get why older chicks are so great…

But now that I think about it… they're not so bad.

Do you know you’re drooling?

Sorry. Too bad Sogabe didn’t come along.

She’s coming?!

Which one, which one?

Come on, which one?

Crap. She saw us!

She’s…

She’s so goddamn hot!

Did you see that rack of hers?

Those long legs?

And she looked right at us!

Do you actually know that goddess?

She’s just a crush.

All right, then I’ll help you with your love!

That way, if we play our cards right

I might get to feel her boobs a little—

Like I’d let you!

Anyways, we need a plan of attack, a plan!

I don’t really need one.

Don’t be shy.

We’ll make up a detailed plan at your place!

Uh, my place might not be the best…

I’m home.

Welcome.

Damn, I forgot about his brother!

This is a friend from class.

Come in.

I-er-um, I think I’ll be heading home.

What’s with you?

We just got here.

Come on in.

P-P-Pardon my imposition—

God that was terrifying.

Seeing your brother up close like that really had me scared.

Yeah, but despite how he looks, he is really nice isn’t he?

Oh yeah, he had bandages on…

So are the rumors true then?

That he got beat up by a junior-high girl?

You wanna ask him yourself?

You’re kidding, right?

I don’t want to die just yet!

“Die” you say…

What’s that?

Mamoru? Are you in there?

Did you come back?

A-A-A-A girl’s at your window!

Hey, what’s going on?

Hey, mind if I come in?

No! Right now a friend-

And she came in anyways!

Hey.

I told you going to my house was a bad idea.

I told you not now!

I just wanted to come through your room for a bit.

Huh? Is he your friend?

Kusuda-kun.

My bad.

Hey, is it true Misao got beaten up by a junior-high girl?

I’m not sure.

Boooobieees…

You’re not sure about the rumor?

Nope.

Then what does he need to talk with me about?

I got a text from Misao this morning.

He said he needed to discuss something with me.

Oh, is that so?

You came to see my brother.

Yeah. So is he around?

Yeah.

All right then, I’ll be seeing you.

What the hell, you acted like you didn’t know her!

She’s your freakin’ next-door neighbor!

Saki-nee only sees me as a childhood friend, nothing more.

Oh? So it’s “Saki-nee” now?

Yamamoto Misaki.

And if she is in high school, that means she is…?

She’s sixteen.

Only two years older, eh?

You lucky dog, a high-school Onee-san!

What are you doing?

Just thinking about how Onee-san’s boobs felt!

What the hell is wrong with you?

Maybe she left some of herself on me!

Thanks a whole lot!

I can’t think of her the way you do, since we’re next-door neighbors.

So what’s wrong with that?

It might be different if I was older than her.

But I am younger than her.

There’s just no way she could ever see me as a man.

Saki-nee only sees me as her younger brother, nothing else.

So you’re afraid of making a move on her because

you think you might even end up losing that sibling relationship, right?

Hey everybody, it’s your favorite! White rice!

I guess nobody wants me around.

You even say that with a smile.

You sure are a softie even though you have that massive body.

That’s quite a big gap in character, since you like small animals too.

And I’ll bet you refolded your laundry yourself too.

My mother doesn’t fold it properly.

But why don’t small animals ever like me?

Even sparrows fear me and refuse to come near me.

I had so many hamsters die on my watch due to uncontrollable stress.

Oh…

I would cherish her.

Why are you blushing?

Ah! It’s nothing!

Now you’re raising your voice.

That’s never going to happen, is it?

Huh?

Are you going to just sit around by yourself and mope?

You only lost one fight.

Huh?

You wanted to discuss that with me, right?

Uh, yeah…

Maybe if I teach you a rarely-used secret technique you’ll cheer up.

Technique?

The Sleeper Hold!

You idiot! Stop that!

Yeoooow!

Ow-ow-ow-ow…

So, do you feel better?

I wasn’t feeling depressed because I lost a fight.

Hmm, really?

Then what the heck did you want to discuss with me?

It’s just that I…

Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for a girl?

Oh, my little Misao!

So who is she? Spill it! Is she in your class?

My school is an all-boy’s school.

Okay… so she’s from another high school?

If you’re not gonna tell me…

Armlock!

All right, I-I’ll tell!

It’s a girl in Mamoru’s class.

Huh? A girl in Mamoru’s class?

How did that happen?

I saw the group photo of Mamoru’s class and it was love at first sight.

Love at first sight? You?

It’s embarrassing, so don’t you tell Mamoru about this, okay?

All right!

Is it really weird for me to have a love at first sight?

Nope!

But I think it’s adorable how you told me to keep it a secret.

So, what’s to discuss?

I gave her a letter.

She said she’ll give me an answer, but she told me to stop following her until then.

Stop following her?

I wanted to protect her, so I followed her to and from her school.

But it seems like I was just bothering her.

Well of course!

If you’re not going out with her, then doing that only makes you a stalker.

Well then, from now on, I’ll be her secret bodyguard!

That’s being even more of a stalker!

I know, you’re right.

I guess I’ll just never be good enough for her.

So you really love this girl?

What do you like about her?

Like about her?

That thought has never crossed my mind.

What?

You have no idea what you like about her, but you’re still in love with her?

Is that strange?

Don’t you think?

Aren’t you the least bit freaked out?

Having no idea what it is you like about a girl you love?

But, isn’t that just the way it is?

Whenever someone falls in love with another.

I’m afraid I don’t really know myself yet.

Misaki, do you have someone you’re in love with?

Love and dating, those types of things are just a pain in the butt.

I really just don’t understand that stuff.

So if you’re looking for my advice, I’m afraid I can’t really help you there.

Sorry.

Don’t be.

Look here man, since you live next door to her, you should have plenty of chances!

You shouldn’t let them slip away.

I know what you’re saying, but…

It’s totally cake!

Just steal her panties from her laundry

sneak into her yard and peep in while she’s taking a bath, shinobi your way into her futon—

Isn’t that illegal?

All right, all right, you don’t have to repeat it.

Keep it a secret from Mamoru, right?

They said they’re keeping something from you.

So she can tell my brother but she can’t tell me?

Am I really that unreliable?

So what are the chances that your brother and Onee-san are seeing each other?

Man, that Misao!

All right, see ya later, Mamoru!

And Mamoru’s pal.

H-H-H-Hey, wait a minute, Onee-san!

Yeah?

Just give me a moment of your time, please!

Just what do you think you’re doing, Kusuda-kun?

It’ll only take a second!

Now, will you have a seat, Onee-san?

Okay…

Now then…

Flee from fog to fight flu fast!

Huh?

Are our oars oak?

A bloke’s back bike brake block broke!

Which witch wished which wicked wish?

Tractor trailor truck tracker!

Selling selfish shellfish!

Freshly fried fresh flesh!

Farm’s produce produce.

I… can’t stand hearing this!

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert!

The epitome of femininity!

Ed had edited it!

The ochre ogre ogled the poker!

Three twigs twined tightly!

Strange strategic statistics.

Saki-nee!

H-How?

My put-chicks-to-sleep-with-puns trick never fails!

So it’s because they were all lame, wasn’t it?

You idiot, don’t give away the secret!

Or else it’ll never work, stupid!

But now that you made Saki-nee fall asleep, what are you planning to do?

Grab a hold of our chance of course!

Man, this angle is just too awesome!

Wait don’t do that, Kusuda-kun!

Shh! You’ll wake her!

Quit mentally undressing her!

Ya think it’ll just be mental?

That’s not what I’m saying!

Shush! You gotta play all the cards you got to make her fall for you!

Exactly what cards are we talking about?

We are a couple of boys in eighth grade.

Don’t let reason win you over!

That doesn’t mean you should be controlled by your natural instincts!

Don’t tell me you’re not thinking about those thoroughbred thighs, those round hips!

And those boobs that are just screaming out “please squeeze me!” Her boo—

Make your move, Zaitsu.

Now’s your chance!

Saki-nee…

Yes, do it!

After you’re done, I’m next!

You think I’ll let the likes of you touch my Saki-nee?

S-Saki-nee!

Oh! She wants it!

Armlock!

Twist Armbar!

Wow, so lucky…

Chicken Wing Armlock!

Oh please do those techniques to me too!

Aw crap.

Choke Sleeper Hold!

Straight Kneebar!

No! No! I give up, I give up!

Stop it!

Like I said, I don’t wanna be her childhood friend.

Onee-san was awake the whole time, wasn’t she?

Nah, she was probably just dreaming she was doing mixed martial arts.

Good morning, gents!

Muscle cramps?

Nah, just be gentle with our joints, will ya?

What? Impossible!

But it really does taste good!

Nobody puts sugar on their natto!

You should give it a try first before you judge it!

Oh, it’s Misao.

So what came of that discussion?

He says he’s in love with a girl.

What? That Yeti’s in love?

Mm-hmm.

I know you told me to stop since I’d look like a stalker

but today I ended up going over to her place again because I was concerned about her.

Falling in love with someone is pretty complicated.

God, I’m pathetic.

I think I…

Hmm?

Nah, forget it.

Anyways, let’s have a race to school.

Get set… Go!

Hey—wait a minute!

Misaki-chan!

As for me, I still don’t need love in my life.

It’s almost time for Yukinoshita Junior High School’s Sports Festival.

And I, Enomoto Kei, ended up being in charge of the cheer squad.

What’s worse is that I have to work with that Kappa-face Kusuda.

Why couldn’t any cuter guys join up?

Looks are what define a guy, right?